No Longer Strangers
by Fleur Lilas
Summary: Kazama/Chizuru. Chizuru has been separated from the Shinsengumi during the war and plans to pursue them alone. However, when Kazama appears and declares he is also going to Ezo, Chizuru asks to accompany him. Now on a journey with someone who was once her enemy, Chizuru will come to realise there is a lot more to him than she thought. And a lot more to herself. SEQUEL TO SUN & MOON
1. Prologue- A drop of blood

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Before you read this story **GO AND READ SUN AND MOON** , my first fanfic which is a prequel to this one. If you don't you won't understand some of the references in this story and you'll be really confused! The prequel is only 3 chapters long so it won't take very long!

This is my fanfic titled _No Longer Strangers_. It will tell the story of when Chizuru travels to Ezo with Kazama, as I'm pretty sure she travelled with him for many months (over a year in one of the Hakuoki games). Anyway, I also wanted to warn you that I've changed a few things and added others to make the story flow a bit better so don't freak out (for example, he doesn't show Chizuru her burned down village, Kaoru and her father are already dead, and some other things to do with their powers, etc). I think this story will be extra exciting because I add in a lot of background about the Oni clans and their abilities, which aren't covered very much in the anime or games.

I may even do a few separate one-shots about certain chapters from Kazama's perspective when I've finished the story so let me know which chapters you would like to see that happen!

Thank you! **Fleur Lilas**.

P.S I obviously don't own any of the Hakuoki characters or anything about Hakuoki except for this story and my own characters that I've created

RATING: M for mature themes, sexual references, coarse language and violence

P.P.S- THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER IS A FLASHBACK CHAPTER

* * *

 **Prologue**

Mother placed her hands on my shoulders, smiling down at me. 'You're all done.' She said, turning back to the table to pack away the makeup brushes and hair combs she had used to tidy me up. I turned to the mirror to inspect myself and touched my painted lips tentatively, admiring the pale pink colour. I'd never worn makeup before.

'Look at you, Chizuru!' A warm voice said behind me. I turned around to look at who spoke but I already recognised his voice. I grinned, jumping into his arms. 'Father!' I squealed, hugging him tightly around his neck. His hair, a lighter brown than mine, was warm and soft against my cheek. 'You truly do look adorable, my darling.' He said warmly. 'To think my 6 year old daughter is already such a beauty.' I pouted proudly as he let me down, setting my feet back on the stone floor. I only noticed then that he was holding something, a large bundle of cobalt blue fabric. Seeing me peering at it curiously, he unfolded it. 'This is what will go over your kimono for the ceremony. This was made especially for this occasion.' He said. 'Here. I'll put it on you.'

I stood still as he draped the cape over my shoulders, clipping up the collar around my neck and making sure there were no creases. I had never seen a piece of clothing more beautiful; I truly looked like a princess. The cape was a rich blue, the colour of our clan, with a beautiful snowy mountain scene embroidered around the bottom. Its edges had silver trim. I twirled around excitedly and it fanned out, despite the fact that it was reasonably heavy.

My mother clasped her hands and laughed. 'It's beautiful! Our seamstresses did a marvellous job.' She exclaimed, pulling me back towards the mirror. 'Do you like it?' she asked. I nodded and looked at my reflection. A brown eyed girl stared back at me but I hardly recognised her. My hair was done up in a bun on top of my head adorned with white flowers. I was wearing the headpiece the clan leaders and their children wore as their crown, two curved horns that were secured neatly in my hair on top of my head. My parents were also wearing theirs, both cobalt blue.

My mother's voice interrupted my thoughts. 'It's a shame your brother can't see you as you are now. No doubt he would be very proud, as are your father and I.' She said. My thoughts flicked to Kaoru who was visiting our grandmother in another clan. I was disappointed that he wasn't here to see my ceremony but I knew I could tell him all about it when he returned.

'Come now, Chizuru. It's time for the ceremony.'

I nodded, picking up the front of the cape so I could walk easier. My father took my spare hand in his own, leading me out of the room and into the hallway. 'Am I really getting married?' I asked, looking up at him with wide eyes. He laughed, shaking his head. 'Not today. This ceremony is just for your betrothal. All we are doing is saying that in the future you will be wed but that's not for many years to come.' He assured me. I pouted a little in thought. 'So he and I will be like you and Mother?' I asked. He smiled down at me. 'Yes. You will be, one day.'

I looked down at my feet as I walked, pondering the meaning of his words. I could barely grasp it at that age. I'd seen the way that they looked at each other and even though I was only young, I knew my parents were in love. Would he look at me like that one day, too?

I heard voices as I approached the double doors to the Yukimura Hall. This was where Mother and Father often welcomed visitors from other clans. I myself had only been in there a few times, because I had rarely needed to go inside. I could hear the buzz of voices.

'Everyone is here.' Mother said, beaming and looking at my father then at me. 'Don't be nervous Chizuru. This is a very special day. We are right here with you.' She said gently, squeezing my hands. I nodded but the truth was I wasn't nervous. I was just a little unsure what to expect.

In sync and without words, they each took one of my hands. Father pushed open the door and the light from the room almost blinded me as my parents pulled me inside. The first thing I noticed was the ceiling. High and made of stone with glass skylights, it allowed the pale winter light to stream in, casting everything in a gloomy glow. Due to the snowy winters we couldn't have houses made of wood or they would rot so our entire village was made of grey stone.

The rising noise snapped my attention back to my surroundings. There were so many people in here and they had all turned to look at me. I immediately moved closer to my parents, tightening my grip on their hands. I recognised some people from my clan but there were others I had never seen before. They all had lighter coloured hair and mahogany eyes and were dressed in red and black. I could smell their scents; warm and kind of salty. Even though I'd never seen features like theirs before I could still discern that they were beautiful.

In the corner of my eye I saw a flash of gold. Turning, I laid eyes upon a man. He had his back to me but the colour of his hair was unlike anything I'd ever seen. It appeared as if it was made of sunlight. He was dressed in a burgundy cape, much like the style of mine but with a giant gold dragon embroidered on the back. It had its jaws wide open in a bloodthirsty snarl and its scales shimmered even in the pale light. On his head was the same headpiece I was wearing, two curved horns, but his weren't blue; they were dark red and they were longer than mine.

I froze, despite my parents trying to pull me forward. I didn't understand why but I could feel that I was drawn to him. The feeling was so alien that I couldn't move despite his presence calling me. It was like an invisible string was tugging me closer to him.

Almost as if he sensed I was staring at him, he started to turn around.

And that's when our eyes met.

The heat from his gaze sent a wave of fire through my veins. His eyes were blood red, yet strangely beautiful with flecks of reds and pinks and a ring of white around his pupil. With the horns atop his head and those bloody eyes, he looked just like the devil.

Mother tore me from my daze by murmuring into my ear. 'Chizuru, it's ok. Let's go see him.' She said. I let them tug me closer to the man. He was so tall and he fixed me with a quizzical look as I approached. Even in the dull winter light, he was… celestial.

The whole room went silent as I was placed to stand in front of him with my parents at my side.

My father was the first to speak. 'Welcome to the Yukimura village. I hope the travel wasn't too difficult in the snow, Chikage-sama.' My father said warmly, and they bowed to each other. 'Thank you, Kobaru-sama. It was fine.' The man said. His voice gave me goosebumps. It was like thunder, deep and powerful. It reverberated in my bones even after the echo of his words had faded from the hall. He turned to my mother then, bowing to her as well. 'It's nice to see you, Masako-sama.' He said respectfully. My mother laughed, her jade green eyes glittering. 'It's good to see you too. It's been a while.' She said warmly. He nodded, acknowledging her sentiment. Father then pat my shoulder. 'And this is our precious Chizuru.'

He looked down at me, unblinking. I looked up at him too, and for a moment we just stared at each other without interruption. I noticed his pupils were slightly slitted, like cats eyes. It was unnerving but it didn't take away from their beauty.

'Chizuru, won't you say hi?' My mother coaxed. I looked back up at him, fiddling with my cape nervously but I chickened out before I could speak. I turned a little to face my mother who was now regarding me with a perplexed expression and I buried my face into her cape shyly.

A round of laughter circled through the room. Mother covered her mouth to hide her laugh and she pat my back softly. 'She's very shy.' She said. There was another short round of laughter, before one of Father's council members cleared his throat. 'Should we proceed with the ceremony?' He questioned politely. My father nodded. 'Yes. Fetch the tokens.' He said. The council member bowed and walked over to a table draped in a dark blue cloth. Sitting on it were two items: a gold bracelet with a red sun charm and a black snowflake pendant on a leather cord. Mother had told me about the upcoming part and I took in a deep breath. I'd promised myself I wouldn't be nervous but I was still scared to have my blood drawn.

The items were brought over to the man in front of me and he held out his hand for the council member to pierce his finger with a needle. I watched a small drop of his blood gather on the surface of his skin, as red as his eyes. He didn't even flinch. Delicately, his finger was turned so the drop of blood fell onto the centre of the sun charm. As soon as the blood made contact with the charm it started to glow a dull red and everyone craned their necks to see the sight a little better. I watched it curiously before Mother caught my attention with a light squeeze of my shoulder.

It was my turn.

I was reassured with a gentle smile as I gave my hand to the council member. The snowflake pendant was held under my finger and I winced as I was pricked by the same needle. My finger was tilted so my blood dripped onto the pendant but this time it glowed blue instead of red.

The council member held both pieces of jewellery up, almost admiring them as they throbbed red and blue. 'All done.' He said. He gave the snowflake pendant to me and the bracelet to the man. 'Kazama-sama, you may go first. Place the bracelet on Chizuru-sama.' He instructed. Mother gestured for me to hold out my arm as he knelt in front of me. He was looking at me expectantly. I moved closer to him, holding out my hand and he took it softly into his own. His skin was much warmer than mine, or my parents, or anyone else I'd ever touched. This close to him I could smell his scent. He smelled like crushed leaves and spice. It kind of reminded me of autumn.

He clipped the bracelet onto my wrist but remained kneeling. The council member handed me the snowflake pendant and I took it from him as I analysed the blue glow curiously. Moving closer to the man, I placed it around his neck and peeked my head over his broad shoulders to clip it back up again. My hands brushed briefly over his golden threads of hair which were also soft and warm.

When the clasp was fixed and I pulled my hands away, I felt a weird sensation in my wrist. I gasped, clutching my bracelet as it started to pulse.

 _Thump… thump… thump_.

I looked up at my father, eyes wide with shock. He smiled. 'I did warn you this would happen.' He chuckled. I turned back to the man, still gripping the bracelet. He was still kneeling and he himself was holding the snowflake pendant in his hands. My father had indeed told me this would happen. That once our blood had been spilled upon the tokens and worn on our skin, we would be able to feel each other's heartbeats. No matter how far apart we were.

I grinned, giggling at the strange sensation. I looked up at the blond man who was still watching me. 'Can you feel mine?' I asked, continuing to giggle. A flicker of amusement crossed his face. 'I can.' He responded. Forgetting about protocol in my excitement, I parted his cape slightly to press my hand to the front of his yukata, where his heart was. I closed my eyes. His heart thud under my hand, perfectly in time with the pulses in the bracelet. It was strong.

When I opened my eyes, he was looking at me with something close to surprise on his face. Pulling my hand away, I used it to grab his. 'Does yours work too?' I asked, placing his hand over my heart. His heat seeped straight through my kimono to my chest where I could feel my heart pounding against his palm. 'Yes.' He replied, almost softly. I let his hand go, clutching the sun charm again where the pulse was coming from. 'Father, it really does work!' I gasped, tugging at his robes. He laughed, patting my head. 'I told you.'

The man raised from his knees, letting the pendant fall against his chest. The council member bowed to us both. 'Congratulations on your betrothal.'

There were cheers and applause from the crowd around us. Father had told me today was a very important occasion, as Oni pairings of such pure blood were very rare. He had also said this ritual had been practiced for thousands of years as a way to bind a part of an oni to an item which would be given to their betrothed as a sign of their engagement. Apparently it was quite an uncommon event, because there were very few betrothal ceremonies nowadays due to the lack of eligible pairings.

The council member clapped his hands together. 'Now, in order for the ceremony to be complete you must exit through these doors.' He continued. He gestured to the other doors of the hall, the ones that lead outside. The blond man was instructed to take my hand, and he did. I tottered alongside him as we walked towards the exit and I was still holding the beating bracelet to my chest. I was filled with a swirling feeling of excitement and intrigue at what had transpired. I peeked up at the man who held my hand but he was looking in front of us.

The doors were opened and we were greeted by the applause from the rest of the Yukimura village who were crowded around the walls of our estate. There were hundreds of them, all trying to get a glimpse of us. We stood on the top of the stone stairs leading up to the hall door and I examined the scene around us, a little overwhelmed by the noise and attention. When I looked back up at the man beside me he was staring not out at the scene around him but the snow falling from the sky. I watched timidly as a flake landed on his cheek and melted, a tiny drop of water sliding down his face like a tear. He truly was beautiful, maybe even moreso than my father.

Suddenly his eyes flicked to the side to look at me and I held his gaze valiantly, determined to ask him a question. 'Do you like the snow?' I asked quietly. I wondered if he could hear me through the cheering of the village and those behind us, but he did. 'I love the snow.' He answered, looking back up at the sky. His eyes closed peacefully as a second snowflake fell on his cheek. 'It doesn't snow where I live, little one.'

I looked up at the snow too, appreciating the cold of the flakes as they settled on my hot cheeks. I closed my eyes as well. Focusing on the beat of the bracelet, and the heat from his hands.

Maybe, one day we might just be like Mother and Father.

One day, we may be in love.

* * *

 **Ending note**

Yay first chapter! I've actually written about 19 chapters already for this story but I don't post them all in case I want to go back and change something. But please make sure you **add me to your author/story alert list** so you get new chapters when I post them. Also please review my work, I like hearing what you all have to say!

If you want to see what the style of cape she's wearing looks like, I imagine it to look like the one Nanami wore in season 1 episode 13 of Kamisama Kiss when she exorcises the shrine (if you haven't seen Kamisama Kiss yet, I recommend it).

Thanks guys!


	2. Secrets

**Secrets**

I awoke to the sound of birds chirping and the faint trickle of a water feature in the garden outside.

For a while I just lay there in my futon. Unmoving. Like I did every time that memory replayed in my dreams. I'd seen that scene in my sleep many times since I'd fled from my village years ago. The memory of that man. I couldn't quite remember his face, or his features. Just the fact that he was warm like the sun and just as beautiful. The bracelet that he'd given me was the only thing I had left of my childhood and therefore the only solid proof of my life before Edo and the Shinsengumi. I could still feel his fingers on my wrist as he'd placed it on me. But why had he done so? As a gift or something more, I had never managed to find that out from my dreams.

I had been staying with Sen for a few weeks now, preparing to leave by myself for Ezo where the Shinsengumi were rumoured to have gone to. War had broken out recently and in all the panic I'd been separated from them. I hadn't seen them in so long and I was worried but I was grateful for Sen's hospitality while I figured out how I was going to get there. She was concerned for my safety as well but she knew that whether or not she protested I would go anyway.

Finally rolling out of my futon, I packed it up and slid it back into the cupboard. I got dressed into the lavender coloured kimono Sen had given me to wear while I was here. It felt nice to wear a kimono after years of wearing men's clothes in the Shinsengumi but it did still feel a little strange. Putting my hair up into a simple bun, I left my room.

'Chizuru-chan!'

I turned to the side and saw Sen standing there, looking at me with a smile on her face. 'Did you sleep well?' She asked me. I nodded. 'I did, thanks.' I replied. She looped her arm through mine amicably. 'That's good. Will you come help me prepare breakfast? I was just coming to see if you were awake.' She asked. She was in the same high spirits as she always was and her company had kept my mind off wondering about the fates of Hijikata and the Shinsengumi. I smiled back at her. 'Of course.'

She seemed pleased and led me to the kitchen. I admired the garden as we passed it on the way, the same garden that amazed me every time I saw it. Sen really did have a beautiful backyard and a really big house too. As to be expected from an Oni princess.

I breathed in the scent of earth and let her tug me into the kitchen. 'How long have you been awake for?' I asked as we began to prepare the food on the table. She rolled up her sleeves. 'Only about half an hour. I decided today I would have a sleep in since I've been working non-stop doing paperwork and meeting with nobles for the past few weeks. Being an Oni princess is hard work, you know.' She sighed. I nodded. 'I was thinking about going into town today and seeing if I could find some more stuff for my trip. Maybe we could go together?' I offered. She seemed overjoyed at my suggestion but I could still see sadness in her eyes. She didn't want me to leave, at least not alone. 'I would love to, Chizuru-hime.' She said. I blushed at the addition of _hime_ to my name. It was a title she sometimes added to tease me since I was the head of the Yukimura clan. A princess in my own right. 'Don't call me that.' I giggled. She laughed at the blush on my face.

I'd known for a while now that I was the head of the Yukimura clan, the lone survivor. After Kodo my adopted father and Kaoru were killed, I had never felt more alone than I did now. There wasn't much point in being head of a clan if the clan no longer existed. Despite the fact I knew only a little about my village its loss still left a hole in my heart as did the loss of the people in it.

Once we'd prepared the food we put it into serving plates and carried it out of the room, heading towards the common area. Kimigiku was seated there and she smiled at me warmly as I entered. I'd grown quite fond of her due to all the time I'd spent with Sen over the past few years. She was nurturing and motherly, but she also had a serious side to her as well. I placed the tray down in front of her. 'Good morning Kimigiku. Here's your breakfast.' I said warmly. She put away the blade she was polishing. 'Thanks Chizuru-chan. It looks delicious.' She said, picking up her chopsticks and waiting patiently as I poured her tea. I smiled. 'Osen-chan helped me too.' I replied. Sen waved away the comment with her hand. 'Please, everyone knows Chizuru-hime is the real cook around here.' She giggled as I looked at her reproachfully and Kimigiku appeared amused. 'So what's on the agenda today for both of you?' She asked. Sen swallowed the food she had in her mouth. 'Well, Chizuru-chan and I were going to go into town today to do some shopping for her trip to Ezo.'

Kimigiku nodded. She too was concerned for my safety. After all, travelling alone was dangerous enough for anyone, let alone a 20 year old girl. It would help if I could use my Oni powers like they could but no one had taught me yet. In saying that though, I had never asked.

'When are you planning on leaving us, Chizuru-chan?' Kimigiku asked. I shrugged, placing down my bowl of rice. 'I was thinking probably in the next few days. I can't wait too long. I've already been here for two and a half weeks.' I sighed sadly. Both girls noticed the drop in my voice as I talked about leaving. They knew how worried I was for the Shinsengumi. Sen reached across to grab my hand. 'Don't worry. They're strong. And I know you're strong too so don't give up.' Her words gave me comfort and I smiled. 'Thank you.'

As she pulled her hand away from me to continue eating, I noticed a flash of silver on her wrist. She was wearing a bracelet I'd never seen before. Pointing at it, I smiled. 'Where did you get that? It's beautiful.' I said, admiring the little red charms all around the chain. They were shaped like tiny rain drops. I was taken by surprise as Sen's face turned beetroot red. Kimigiku started to giggle and I was a little startled by the strange reaction from both of them. I had only asked about her bracelet. Was something wrong?

Before I could apologise, Sen took in a deep breath. Her voice wavered. 'Umm… well, it was given to me by… Amagiri.' Her voice was barely audible. I resisted the urge to gape. 'Amagiri?'

Did she mean the red-headed oni that travelled with Shiranui and Kazama?

My stomach did a little flip as I thought of that man. Kazama. I hadn't seen him in a while, not since our date, but I didn't need to see him to get that weird feeling in my stomach. He was handsome, yes… but he had also tried to kidnap me numerous times. Still, I couldn't bring myself to hate him.

My thoughts were interrupted when Kimigiku finally started to laugh. 'So, are you going to continue to keep it a secret or are you going to tell Chizuru-chan about it?' She almost chided. Sen went redder and I grinned at her. 'Tell me about what?' I urged. Sen put down her chopsticks, sighing exasperatedly. She looked at her lap for a few more seconds before her weak voice broke the silence. I had never heard her voice sound like that; she was always strong and confident. 'Well… Amagiri and I have… started courting.' She murmured. I really did gape this time. ' _Courting_?' I squeaked. 'Like… dating?' The surprise hit me like a slap across the face. This was indeed some information worthy of my curiosity. She nodded, still refusing to look us in the eye. 'Yeah…' She mumbled. I reached forward to hug her and she accepted my hug with humiliation. I grasped her hands as I pulled away. 'For how long?' I pressed. Sen smiled, her cheeks still rosey. 'A few months now.' She sighed. Seeing her look so flustered was unusual but it made it so much more adorable. Normally I was the one looking mortified and uncomfortable, but the look on her face told me she really did like him. I let her go, settling back into my place. 'Well.' I said. 'That's some exciting news.'

Sen pressed her hands to her hot face. 'I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier.' She apologised. I shook my head. 'It's ok. It's nice to see someone else go red for a change.' I teased. Sen made an unpleasant face.

Amagiri and Sen? For some reason, in my mind they made a good couple. I knew he would treat her as well as she deserved. In all my dealings with him he had been nothing short of respectful and polite. He had even stopped a fight between Hijikata and Kazama and I was excited that she'd found someone she could maybe fall in love with.

Sen and I collected the breakfast dishes when we were done and took them outside of the room. The decking was hot from the rays of the morning sun, so it felt nice on my feet. Spring really was lovely. Sen cleared her throat after we'd walked back into the kitchen. 'So, now that I've answered where my bracelet came from, where did you get yours?' She asked. I looked down at it, taken by surprise by her question. 'Well…' I began, putting the dishes down on the kitchen table so I could fiddle with the sun charm. 'I got it when I was 6. But I can't remember why or who from.' I said quietly. Sen put down her dishes too, fixing me with a look. 'You got it when you were still in the Yukimura village?' She inquired. I nodded and she looked curious. 'So you don't remember anything?' She continued to pry. I bit my lip. 'I do remember a man gave it to me.' I disclosed. She perked up slightly, intrigued. 'A man?' She grilled as she turned to face me front on. She seemed genuinely intrigued and I squinted as I tried to remember enough snippets from my dream so I could piece up enough information to tell her about it. 'Yes. But I don't remember who he was or why he gave it to me. All I remember is that his features were warm and that he was beautiful.' I said wistfully. She looked at me thoughtfully. 'He sounds mysterious.' She said. I smiled, shrugging. 'I guess.' I said. She reached out to take the sun emblem into her own fingers. Her face was unreadable as she analysed it.

After several seconds of staring, she let it go. 'Maybe you'll see him again one day.' She mused.

Before I could ask if she knew anything about it or could find out, she changed the subject. 'You know, I went to your village once.' She said, almost cautiously like she didn't know how I would take the news. I almost dropped the bowl I was holding and my eyes widened. A million things I wanted to ask her popped into my head but I just couldn't speak. When she saw I was too stunned to respond, she laughed. 'Come on. Let's go sit outside where it's warmer.'

I followed her wordlessly out into the garden and she led us over to the giant oak tree, gesturing for me to sit on the grass beneath it. I wanted to ask her so many things about my village. What did it look like? How many people had lived there? Why did she go? But there was one thing I needed to know. One thing I'd always wanted to know.

I swallowed, nervous about what I might hear. 'Do you know anything about my… my parents?' I inquired, trying to keep my voice as level as possible. She looked at me softly then, maybe with pity. She finally nodded. 'I met your mother and father when I went to your village for their marriage ceremony.' She said. Their… marriage ceremony? But I was 20 now, not much older than Sen. She was likely not even born then. I didn't even try to hide the confusion on my face. My thoughts were whirling, barely coherent. I couldn't grasp the knowledge that Sen had seen my parents. Why hadn't she told me earlier?

Sen sighed at my facial expression. 'It seems my relationship with Amagiri wasn't the only thing I've been hiding from you, Chizuru-chan.' She sighed, almost regretfully. I didn't have to wait much longer for her to explain what she meant. 'As you know, Oni live for much longer than humans, as I've told you.' She said. I nodded out of habit, wondering where she was going with this.

She looked at me, smiling softly. 'I'm actually 42 years old.'

I blinked at her. She waited for a response but I gave none. She was… 42 years old? My mind was blank from shock. Sen continued. 'Your parents married when I was about 20 years old and as with all Oni marriages between those of high birth, all the clan leaders are invited. You were born 2 years later along with your twin brother.'

I looked out at the garden, taking my time to process what I'd learned. When I finally spoke, I could no longer hide the weakness in my voice. 'What… what were their names?' I murmured. Sen looked at me, almost sadly. It became clear to both of us in that moment just how little I knew about my past life. I didn't even know the names of my own parents, the parents that had loved me so dearly.

Her tone was just as soft as mine when she replied. 'Kobaru was your father. And your mother's name was Masako.'

I turned their names over in my head, again and again. Kobaru and Masako.

With this knowledge I felt a sense of relief, but also sadness.

Suddenly Sen smiled. 'Do you want me to tell you how they met? It's quite a cute story.' She asked. I nodded, thankful that she would continue talking so I wouldn't have to. I doubted that I could if I tried. Sen picked up a fallen leaf off the ground, playing with it as she talked. 'Before she met your father, your mother's parents had organised her to be betrothed to a man from another clan. On her way to his village though, she ate some poisonous berries by accident and became very ill, so ill that she lost consciousness and wouldn't wake up. When they arrived at her betrothed's clan, it was a complete coincidence that your father was there to see the clan leader and was it was he that cured her poison.'

As she turned to me, she giggled. 'Do you know how he healed her? It's very romantic.' Not waiting for me to respond, she continued. 'He kissed her. And when she woke it was love at first sight. She refused to marry this other man and the two were wed within a year.'

We sat in silence after she'd finished the story. I felt a warmth inside me as I heard Sen speak about my parents. Even though it aggravated the hollow pain inside my heart it also filled it with warmth. I swallowed. 'How did his kiss heal her?' I asked quietly. Sen flicked the leaf back onto the grass. 'Well, he put his blood on his lips first. That's where the Yukimura power of healing lies, in their blood. Your father was quite impressive in his ability even as a young boy and his blood could heal most injuries and illnesses, even terminal ones. Apparently he even brought a man back from the dead.' She stopped speaking then, letting the information sink in.

He brought a man back to life? Was that even possible?

I couldn't shake the feeling though that there was more she was hiding from me. First Amagiri, then her age… and now I find out she knew my parents? I'd never once doubted that I could trust Sen but what she'd told me today made me wonder how much she knew about everything else. Despite this, I wasn't angry or annoyed. I trusted her wholly and I was glad she'd shared what she had. 'Thank you.' I said. She acknowledged my thanks by looping her arm through mine as we sat. 'Would you like to go shopping now?' she asked. 'Ok, sure.' I responded, still feeling a little lightheaded.

She helped me up off the grass and we brushed the dirt off our kimonos. 'Maybe we can get something for Amagiri for you to give to him when you see him next?' I teased. Her cheeks went red and I laughed. 'Unless what you want to give him can't be bought.'

She looked at me with a panicked expression on her face, her cheeks exploding into colour. 'Chizuru-chan!' She squealed, reaching out to slap my arm. I dodged it as I burst out laughing. 'Sorry.'

We both started giggling as we stood, starting to make our way over to the house.

I would miss these times with Sen when I left.

* * *

 **Ending note**

Please note that in this story, Chizuru is 20 because I'm pretty sure she was 16-17 when she first joined the Shinsengumi and she was with them for like 4 years or something. Maybe more? So let's just say she's 20. Also when she refers to the last time she saw Kazama which was during their date, she's referring to the events of my first fanfiction titled **Sun and Moon** which details when he manages to persuade her to go on a date with him. You should check that one out too if you haven't already because I often make reference to that story throughout this one.

Thanks!


	3. Strange request

**Strange request**

I walked out of the bathing area in my bath robe, breathing in the warm afternoon air. It truly was a beautiful day today. The sun was sitting lazily in the sky, casting everything in a bright orange glow. I could hear the buzzing of bees in Sen's flower beds and the heat in the air evaporated the droplets of water still resting on my skin.

Sen and I had stayed up really late last night talking and laughing, so I had slept in quite late this morning. She had assured me that her servants would take care of the cooking and cleaning for today and that I needed to rest up for my departure to Ezo in two days' time. I had finally made up my mind when I was leaving. It was a relief but it was definitely bittersweet. I would miss the quiet tranquillity here and the knowledge that Sen was never far away.

Pulling my towel off my head, my wet hair fell down to the middle of my back. I pushed the cold strands off my neck and plucked the comb out of the pocket of the white bath robe I was wearing, which was tied loosely around my body. I loved how comfortable I felt here. Sen only had female servants so I could be myself and not worry about the prying eyes of pesky men. This feeling of safety would also be something I would miss, not just because I wasn't getting constantly harassed but also because Kimigiku and Sen were always close to me and I knew I was protected. I only wished I could do more for them but I'd made a mental note to repay them somehow once my journey to Ezo was over.

I walked off the decking onto the grass where I sat down in full sunlight to comb the horrendous knots from my hair. I closed my eyes as I did so, listening to the sound of the water feature at the end of her garden.

I was mostly prepared for my journey. Sen had bought me all that I needed and more, which mortified me because I had no way to repay her, but she'd insisted that my company was enough. She had even sourced for me Western attire since I wouldn't be permitted to wear Japanese clothes for at least most of the way to Ezo since I'd be in enemy territory. I had started packing the main things such as clothes and some food but I would leave the majority of the packing until later. I was planning on spending the rest of the day with Sen because tomorrow I would be too busy preparing to leave.

I sighed in frustration as I struggled to brush through a knot. I tugged at it fervently, the movement causing my bathrobe to slide off my shoulder and exposing my pale skin to the sunlight. It felt nice but I was much too preoccupied with trying to brush out the mass of hair I'd created to enjoy the warmth. As I tried once more to comb through it, the comb got stuck which only added to my frustration. I heard Sen talking in the main room to someone so I pulled myself up off the grass. This wouldn't be the first time I'd asked Sen to help me sort out my unruly hair.

With my bathrobe still hanging off one shoulder and a comb hanging limply from my hair, I slid open the door to the common room. 'Osen-chan, can you help me with my hair?'

Five pairs of eyes turned to look at me.

For what seemed like an eternity, we all just stared at each other. Shiranui was the only one who looked amused. Sen, Kimigiku and Amagiri looked shocked.

And Kazama…

He was looking at me like he always did. With that fire in his eyes. I felt the familiar pang in my lower abdomen, the one I had always gotten when he looked at me like that. Slowly, he raised an eyebrow and I felt the burning commence in my cheeks. It was only when I saw his eyes slide down to examine the rest of me that I was snapped from my daze. As quick as lightning I ducked out of the room, practically slamming the door as I left.

What the hell was _he_ doing here? And them, too! I ran as fast as I could down the decking and practically dived into my room.

Still in shock, I replayed the scene back in my head over and over again. There was truly no other scenario I could conceive that was more humiliating than the one that had just occurred. I flopped down on my bed, ignoring the irritating sensation of the comb jutting into my scalp. Kazama's eyes still felt like they were burning me alive; I could feel them on my skin and my heart wasn't slowing down no matter how long I laid there for. I hadn't seen him for so long and to finally see him again… it had definitely put my body into shock.

I lay there for what must have been at least half an hour, praying for the sweet release of death, before the door to my room slid open. When Sen saw me laying on my futon with my hair still in a mess, she burst out laughing. For a minute she was beyond consolation. She was laughing so hard she was shaking and tears were gathering at the corner of her warm brown eyes. Knowing I was the source of her amusement made me groan into the pillow and the noise only made her laugh harder. 'Chizuru-chan…' She practically wheezed, collapsing down next to me and patting my back. 'I'm sorry… I didn't know… they were coming.' She said between bouts of laughter. When she finally calmed down, she wiped the tears off her cheeks. 'Chizuru-chan.' She repeated gentler, her trembling voice letting me know she was still struggling to contain herself. 'I'm sorry. If you sit up, I'll help you with your hair.' She promised. I dragged myself into a sitting position, hiding my red face from her eyes but I knew she could still see it. She continued to giggle as she pried my hair off the comb, managing to pick apart the knot enough to separate my hair into chunks. She brushed each section carefully, being sure not to hurt me.

When I didn't speak after a few more minutes, she sighed with a smile. 'Don't think about it too hard. It could have been worse.' She tried to reassure me, but I'd already decided a while ago that there was nothing more embarrassing than what had happened. I shook my head. 'No, it really couldn't have been.' I mumbled. Sen laughed again, hugging me as I sat. 'Did you see the look on Kazama's face though? Only Chizuru-hime could elicit an expression like that from someone as stony as him.' She giggled. I groaned again and that made her laughter resume full force. Once she'd calmed down again, she made me sit up once more. 'Get dressed. I'll come back in and get you in 10 minutes, so you don't have to walk back into the common room alone. We are having lunch soon.' She said. I nodded unwillingly and she disappeared into thin air, a light breeze cascading over my skin from the speed of her exit. I'd gotten used to Kimigiku and Sen moving like that. It kind of made me jealous.

Dreading the inevitable, I slowly got changed into my lavender kimono and used my towel to dry my hair some more. I looked at myself in the mirror as I did so, noticing my cheeks were still pink.

As promised, Sen came to collect me after a few minutes. I followed her out of my room but I didn't get much time to compose myself because everyone was sitting out on the grass in the sun.

Sen smiled at the tortured look on my face. 'We decided to have lunch outside, since it's such a beautiful day.' She chirped. My skin prickled. I knew he was already looking at me, I could feel it. Even after four years I never got close to understanding how that man could make me feel like this. Even though he'd made clear his intentions to take me and kill my friends, I just couldn't stop the feeling I got when I was near him.

The feeling of temptation.

She sat me down between her and Kimigiku and it was Amagiri who spoke first. 'Hello, Yukimura-sama. I hope you've been well.' He said, bowing to me while seated. I inwardly cringed at what he'd called me but I smiled back. 'I've been good, thank you Amagiri-san. I hope you've also been well.' I said. He was seated on the other side of Sen. I still had so many questions to ask her about their relationship even though I'd interrogated her thoroughly last night. Kazama said nothing and I didn't dare look up at him either. I didn't need to. He was already looking at me. Shiranui grinned impishly. 'I'm pleased to see your hair is all fixed.' He interjected, seizing his opportunity to fluster me. I'd never say it aloud but he reminded me so much of Okita it was almost scary. That same playful demeanour. They both didn't seem to take much seriously. I tried to tame the heat that was entering my cheeks but to no avail. 'Uh… yes.' I murmured. Kimigiku rolled her eyes but she looked like she wanted to laugh.

Sen suddenly sighed. 'Are you going to sit there staring at her like a big creep or are you going to say hi?'

I mentally face-palmed as Sen addressed Kazama. _No… don't make him speak to me…_

He let out one of his famous, irritated sighs. It was no secret that Sen and Kazama had never been amicable. No matter what they were talking about they never seemed to be able to get along or refrain from insulting the other. With a slight pause, I heard him draw a breath. 'It's been a while, Chizuru. You look well. I haven't seen you since our date.' He said.

 _Urgh…_ His voice hit me like a punch to the stomach. Deep and rich. It stung my pride to realise it still had such an effect on me. That _he_ still had such an effect on me. I was forced to look up at him out of politeness and he immediately caught my gaze. I gave him a gentle smile after I managed to gain my bearings. 'Thank you.' I said. My voice sounded so fragile compared to his and I knew everyone had heard eyes locked for a long moment. Neither of us looked away, despite how much I wanted to. He had me caught in his glare like an animal in a trap. I could tell Sen was debating whether or not to interrupt in order to break our eye contact.

However, her intervention wasn't needed. The sound of feet on the decking turned our attention to the food that was being brought out by the servants. I was immensely thankful for the distraction of lunch. If I had have been forced to look at Kazama for any longer, I probably would have melted. 'Thank you Sakura-chan.' I said to the young girl who placed my meal tray down in front of me. 'No problem, Chizuru-chan. How's your ankle?' She piped. My mind flicked back to a few days ago when I'd rolled my ankle jumping from the decking onto the grass. Of course it had healed in no time but she didn't know that. None of the servants knew we were Oni. They didn't even know they existed. 'My ankle is getting better. I think it's almost healed.' I said, smiling at her. She looked relieved and my heart stung a little. In a few days I would have to leave these people. She beamed at me. 'That's good. Well, enjoy your lunch.' She said. I nodded and returned my attention to my meal.

The other girls were still placing down the trays for the others and Sen thanked them collectively. She was kind to her servants and treated them like equals. I had great respect for Sen because of that. The girl serving Kazama, though, looked beyond flustered. Her cheeks were pink and she wouldn't look him in the eye. I'd noticed he had that effect on women. In fact, the girl kind of reminded me of myself. Looking at the scene from a third person view I realised just how humiliating it was. Did I look like that around him?

She bowed her head out of respect and then left promptly, catching up with the other servant girls who were waiting for her at the stairs. I pulled the lid off my soup, hearing them totter away back to the kitchen.

'He's so beautiful.' I heard one of them say, thinking they were out of ears reach. They all agreed, giggling hysterically as they made their way back to the kitchen. 'His hair is like gold. Don't you think so? He must be a prince of some sort.'

Kazama showed no indication that he heard or even cared but no doubt their words fed his already unbearable ego. I resisted to urge to snort. They wouldn't say such things if they knew him. Arrogant and proud, Kazama wasn't an easy person to be around even on one of his good days. Although unfortunately since our date, I hadn't been able to feel as terrified by him as I had been before. Even though it had been a while the events of that day continued to make me blush.

Sen chatted to her Oni companions casually, all except for Kazama, who ate in silence and kept to himself. I noticed curiously that he had pulled all the beans out of his meal and placed them to the side. Did he not like beans? I wouldn't have taken Kazama as a fussy eater but even I had things I wouldn't eat.

'So why are you all here anyway?' Sen finally asked. This was the question I'd been waiting for. Amagiri was the first to speak, as he usually was. 'I wanted to tell you that I would be leaving for Ezo with Kazama-sama and Shiranui. I don't know how long I'll be away for.' He said solemnly. I recoiled a little upon hearing the news. Ezo? Why on earth would they want to go there? Sen frowned, the disappointment obvious on her face. 'Why Ezo?' She asked, maybe as surprised as me. Amagiri opened his mouth to reply but was quickly cut off by Kazama. 'Because I've got a few loose ends to tie up.' He sighed. His disinterest in conversation was apparent even though he'd volunteered an answer. Sen regarded him somewhat sourly. 'Is that so? And you've decided to drag everyone else into it as well?' She snapped. Kazama fixed her with a venomous glare and she returned it with just as much fervour. It was like looking at two snarling dogs ready to jump at each other's throats. Kazama's eyes narrowed at her. 'Technically they both still work for me up until the cessation of the war.' He said dryly. Sen's mouth twisted like she'd tasted something unpleasant. 'And so what are these 'loose ends' you're wanting to take care of?' She pried. Kazama looked to the side, smirking. 'That's really none of your concern.'

Only Kazama would dare speak to an Oni princess like that.

Sen started to rub her temples therapeutically. She already looked exhausted, like she was speaking to a child. 'Well, whatever it is, I'm sure I'll hear about it in due time. You tend to leave a trail of blood wherever you go. You've never been one to be subtle.' She sighed. Kazama looked like he'd taken it as a compliment but he didn't answer her. Sen turned back to Amagiri. 'Do you really have to go with him?' She asked, like Kazama wasn't there. Amagiri nodded and I watched them exchange a short tender look before Sen turned to me. 'Chizuru, would you help me prepare some tea for everyone? We can tell the girls to come collect our dishes.'

I nodded, getting up as she did. We left them all sitting on the grass in silence. The servant girls were giggling and making noise in the kitchen as they cleaned up the dishes from making lunch. When they saw us, they came over. 'Sen-sama!' One exclaimed. Sen already looked uninterested, as she knew what they were going to ask. 'Who was that man? The one with the gold hair?' They trilled. Sen's expression grew even more bored and I struggled not to laugh. She really wasn't the best person to ask about Kazama and her response made that evident. 'He's an arsehole. You needn't worry about him; he will be gone by morning.' She deadpanned. Their eyes widened at her language but they weren't satisfied yet. 'What's his name?' They pressed. Sen brushed off their questions with a flick of her hand. 'Enough. Girls, go and fetch their dishes. If you're so desperate to know his name then ask him yourselves.'

They looked disheartened, but they did what she said. I watched them scurry out of the kitchen. Once they were gone she shook her head in disbelief. 'Honestly.' She sighed. I giggled, starting to boil the water. Sen pulled out the cups from the cupboard and we made the tea in silence.

They were going to Ezo.

I already knew what my mind was trying to suggest to me and I was trying to furiously shut it down. No. There was no way I would ever go with them. Travel with Kazama? There would be no greater torture than spending possibly months trailing from city to city with him as company. I visibly shook my head in disapproval of the thoughts I was having. But I would be safe and I would definitely get there faster. I would be with Amagiri and Shiranui, too. They would never let Kazama do anything to me, especially Amagiri. I mean not that I feared Kazama would do anything to me… maybe. If I had to travel with him to see Hijikata faster, then it would be worth it. There would be nothing worse than finally arriving in Ezo after travelling on my own and finding out I was too late. I would regret it for the rest of my life.

I shifted uncomfortably from side to side as I mulled over my thoughts.

Sen finally stopped me after a few minutes of regarding me with confusion. 'What?' She'd noticed I looked uneasy. I looked at her, opening my mouth to answer but no words came out. How could I ask for her advice on this? I could only imagine the horror that would spread across her face when I told her I was thinking about going with Kazama to Ezo. She might even get angry. There was nothing more terrifying than an angry Sen. After looking at my face flick through ten different expressions still without saying a word, she sighed. 'What?' she asked again. I looked down at my hands, which were putting the tea leaves into the strainer. 'Well…' I squeaked. My voice was so weak. 'Do you think… do you think I could… umm… ?'

I watched her eye twitch. She was slowly catching on to what I was implying but I knew I had to say it with my own mouth before I would get a true reaction. I took in a deep breath, clenching my fists. 'Do you think I could travel with them to Ezo?' I almost whispered. I watched as the cup she was holding fell from her hands, almost in slow motion. It smashed on the ground and she just looked at me with an incredulous look on her face. It was a million times worse than I'd imagined. 'You would travel with _him_?' She suddenly shrieked, pointing in his direction even though there were a few walls in the way. I went red, lowering my eyes. She didn't wait for my answer. 'After everything that arrogant bastard has done you would willingly travel in his company?' She truly looked appalled. I remained silent and she turned away as she tried to calm herself down. 'For Hijikata-san, yes.' I murmured faintly. 'They can protect me and I know I'd get there quicker. Even though it might be a bit weird, I would do that for him.'

'A bit?' she stammered. 'Travelling with that conceited bastard would be akin to the agony of hacking off a limb with a blunt, rusty blade.' She retorted, practically sizzling. My lip twitched in amusement at the accuracy of her analogy. 'I know but… I can deal with it. I could never live with myself if I went alone and arrived too late.' I murmured. She shook her head in utter disbelief, like I'd just told her I was marrying him instead. 'Well.' She finally said, after several moments of painful silence. 'If you want to go with them, I won't stop you. But I swear…' Her voice got dark. '…if he does anything to you, and I mean _anything_ , then you come straight back here and I'll kill him with my own bare hands.' She growled. I would have laughed if it hadn't of been for the glint of bloodlust in her eyes. She really would kill him if he hurt me, I had no doubt. I smiled. 'Thanks Osen-chan.' I said, hugging her. 'But I don't think he'd do anything too drastic. After all, I'm pretty sure he wants me to bear his children so….'

'It's _because_ he wants you to bear his children that I'm worried. Who knows what that animal would do to you.' She was practically bubbling with anger at the thought. I patted her shoulder to calm her down. 'Well, I don't think he would do _that_.' I said, trying to sound confident. Would he…? Surely not. He was pretty cold sometimes but he didn't really seem like the sort of man to rape a woman. Possibly.

Sen was still recovering from the shock of my suggestion when the servants entered carrying all the dishes. They all looked giddy and pink-faced and it was quite amusing to see the stark contrast between their feelings towards him and Sen's. Here she was, pale-faced and practically hyperventilating about the thought of me traveling with him and these girls looked love-drunk. Ignoring their presence Sen straightened and once again assumed her dignified pose. 'I'll say what I said again. If you want to go with him you may. But I'll be laying down some strict ground rules before you leave. If that bastard even _looks_ at you the wrong way, I'll make sure he gets a taste of Hell.' She said sternly. I nodded, taking her hands in mine. I felt the tears burn behind my eyes. To have someone who cared so earnestly for me was such a blessing. 'Thank you Osen-chan.' I said. Her face relaxed as I smiled and then she started to chuckle. 'Never in a thousand years would I have expected this request to come from your lips.'

I giggled too. 'I'm even more surprised than you are.'

She sighed softly. 'Well in a way it's not surprising at all. You'd do anything for those samurai, even travel with that insufferable prick.'

I laughed at the title she gave him, and we left the kitchen with the tea. 'But you're the one who has to ask him, not me.' Sen added. I felt my stomach drop. I already knew that would be the case. It could only go two ways.

Yes or no.


	4. Unlikely alliance

**NyaPowa** \- Thanks for your review! In regards to the questions you asked, I want to reassure you that the answers to these will be revealed in later chapters. In future chapters if you have any burning questions or things don't make sense, the answer will most likely be given later in the story and everything will make sense in time :)

* * *

 **Unlikely alliance**

I pressed my hot forehead to the wall in my room, trying to calm myself down. Who knew asking someone to accompany them on their travels would prove to be such an ordeal?

Night had fallen a few hours ago and everyone had gone to bed. Sen had told me she would wait up until Kazama had given me his answer so I felt relieved that she was awake somewhere in the estate because the thought of going to Kazama's room alone filled me with unease.

 _If you're going to be traveling with him, you need to learn how to be stern_ , she had told me. _If he says no then you need to try and persuade him. I know you can do it_.

She was right but that didn't mean I was any less anxious about speaking to him. If it wasn't for my rising sense of desperation I may have chickened out already but I needed his help to get to Ezo. I needed to do this for Hijikata and the Shinsengumi.

I opened the door to my room and the fresh night air greeted me. The moonlight cast everything in a silver glow but I wasn't in the mood to appreciate the beauty of the garden tonight. I walked down the decking and entered the main part of the building. Sen had told me that Kazama's room was upstairs, the one with the big window in it. Shiranui was placed below on the ground floor and Amagiri…. Well, I'm pretty sure he was in Sen's room tonight. I smiled a little at the thought. I couldn't wait for all the details in the morning.

I started to walk up the stairs as quietly as I could. Thankfully they didn't creak but I knew they didn't need to for Kazama to hear me. As an Oni who knew exactly how to use his powers he probably would have been able to sense me coming as soon as I left my room. I, on the other hand, was essentially a human with Oni blood at the moment; I couldn't, nor had I ever, managed to change into my full Oni form by myself or use any of my powers deliberately.

I swallowed hard as I emerged upstairs. Following Sen's mental instructions I followed the hallway down to the last bedroom, being careful not to step too hard on the floorboards lest I made a sound. My heart was pounding so hard I feared it would break a rib. I came up to the door of his room and I froze, opening my mouth to request permission to enter. But I just couldn't speak.

How long would I wait here before I managed to build up the courage to ask for entry? Probably the whole night.

I clenched my fists as a wave of determination came over me. No. I could do this. I knew nothing could happen to me and he wouldn't dare try anyway. As much as he disliked Sen, not even he would want to incur her wrath by doing something to me. Especially in her own house.

I opened my mouth once more. 'Kazama-san?' I whispered. My voice seemed so loud in the dead silence and I cringed. My whole body tensed in the realisation that I'd finally spoken and I awaited his response with butterflies in my stomach.

However, there was no reply.

I frowned, confused. I bit my lip and knocked softly on the wood of the door frame.

Still no response.

I stood there for a bit longer and wondered if I should open the door myself. What if he was sleeping?

I sighed, crossing my arms. There would be no way I would wake him if he was sleeping. He would probably get startled and kill me. He could, I was sure of it, in less than a second if he wanted too. It wasn't like I was able to defend myself against an Oni who knew how to use his powers.

'Kazama-san!' I whispered a little more forcefully.

Once again, no reply.

I sighed and grasped the door of the room. 'I'm coming in.' I whispered. Once I'd gathered a bit more courage I slowly slid the door open and peered in. This _was_ his room because I could see his things on the desk and the futon on the floor. But he wasn't in there. I frowned and my muscles relaxed as I pushed the door open wider and stepped in. I was amazed at how the room already smelled like him. Warm, like autumn. I shook that thought out of my head, realising how weird it was that I'd recognised his scent so easily.

I looked up at the large window. I'd been in this room before on the first day I had arrived when Sen gave me a full tour of her house. It truly was a big window and it was currently open. From the second floor of Sen's house there was no obstruction between me and the sky. I peered out of his window, resting my hands on the ledge as I looked up at the stars. They were so beautiful, twinkling like gems. I wondered what they were made of, those stars. I had always had a fascination with space and I wondered if when I learned to use my Oni powers fully that my improved sight would let me see them better. I hoped they would.

I sighed, looking down at my hands. I didn't want to stay in his room any longer if he wasn't here. Maybe I could come back a little bit later and talk to Sen in the meantime.

I turned around to walk back to the door and I squealed in fright as I saw a white figure standing there looking at me.

Kazama raised an eyebrow. 'It's dangerous to sneak into a man's bedroom.'

My heart was still pounding and I dropped my hands from my mouth, clutching my chest. He hadn't taken his eyes off me and as I calmed down I noticed he was dressed only in his sleeping yukata. It was tied loosely around his waist, parted just enough so I could see some of his powerful chest. Even though my body was still in shock mode I couldn't help the heat raise to my cheeks. 'You… you scared me.' I managed to splutter. He pushed himself gracefully off the wall he was leaning on. 'Well, did you come here expecting me _not_ to be in my room?' He asked. He fixed me with a sultry gaze as he approached.

Suddenly he was right in front of me and I gasped, taking a step backwards and hitting the window frame.

He was looking down at me, the moonlight hitting his pale skin. It made his hair look silver and his eyes burn brighter. There was no denying that he was beautiful… so frustratingly beautiful. No other man's presence made my legs shake and my lips tremble like his did and the worst part of it by far was that he knew it too.

I could see in the way his eyes were ablaze that he knew what he did to me.

Rendered speechless, I could do nothing as he reached out and ran some of my hair through his fingers. 'If you so desire it, I'd be more than willing to make you mine tonight.' He leaned in close and put his hands on the wall either side of my head, trapping me. He was looking at me like he was expecting an answer but my mind was officially a scrambled mess. I would definitely mentally scold myself tomorrow when I looked back on this moment and reflected on how much I'd let myself be affected by his wicked charm.

My eyes widened when his thumb slid across my lips and I was torn from the spell he'd cast over me. I pushed his hand away, fixing him with as much of a warning glance as I could. 'No. That's not it.' I muttered, straightening myself. He cocked his head to one side. 'Then why _did_ you come?' The way his deep voice rippled under my skin like water made me quiver. 'I wanted to ask you something.' I murmured. He folded his arms. 'Oh?'

I took in a deep breath. 'I want you to take me to Ezo with you.'

He didn't look surprised at all. Instead he regarded me with an apathetic expression. 'And why would that be?'

I was dreading telling him the reason. It was no secret that he had a passionate distaste for all the members of the Shinsengumi, especially Hijikata. I didn't really know how he'd react to me asking him to take me to them. 'Because the Shinsengumi is there.' I responded as evenly as I could. Kazama rolled his eyes, pulling his hands off the wall and folding them against his chest. His expression shifted to one of displeasure. 'Oh yes, your peasant friends. I'm guessing those vermin are there then, squirming half-dead in the mud of the battlefield.' He sighed. His words stung a little but I knew Kazama well enough to have prepared myself for comments such as those. 'They're in Ezo and I want to see them. That's why I would like to accompany you.' I said firmly, letting him know I was determined. He looked to the side and away from me. His expression hardened a little. 'Forget them. They are probably already dead and besides, that whole place is a warzone now. You would die the minute I took you there and left you to fend for yourself.' He said airily. I clenched my fists. 'They're not dead, I know it. And I'd be fine.' I asserted. He looked back at me then, straight into my eyes. 'And what if they are dead? Then what?'

I turned away from him slightly, not wanting to think about it. I couldn't let myself think like that. I couldn't let him plant thoughts like that into my head. 'Then I would want to see for myself.' I murmured. His lips twitched a little and he looked at me with a blank expression. He was for the most-part unreadable.

After a long, agonising silence he finally spoke. 'You'd slow us down.'

It was a simple comment but it pierced my heart nonetheless. What could I say to that? It was probably true. I had no Oni speed, no skills in navigation, I was always getting into trouble and I was reckless. Even the Shinsengumi often made me stay put and out of danger because I was always getting in the way. Kazama moved away from me then, turning his back to me.

He gave me a sidelong glance, his eyes not entirely cold. But his word were. 'I won't take you.'

I bit my lip to stop myself from crying. If I cried in front of him I would never regain my dignity. He was perhaps my only chance at making it in time. Sen was right and she had warned me this would happen. I had to fight. 'Yes, you will.' I said sternly. He paused, turning around slowly to face me. He looked… kind of stunned. Maybe impressed. 'Will I now? Then tell me, what would you give me in return?' He asked. He looked interested to hear what I would say. I looked at him, my lips parting in surprise and he clicked his tongue at my silence. 'You didn't think I would take you for free, did you?'

When I still didn't answer, he shook his head like he couldn't believe I'd even asked. 'Hmph. It would be troublesome to take you. You don't even know how to use a sword properly or your abilities. I don't even need to tell you that you would slow us down because you already know it. So tell me, then, what would you offer that would make the inconvenience worth taking you?'

The look of twisted amusement on his face was making me angry but he was right. I really did have nothing to offer him, not even money. Not that he would even take that. To him, I was just a burden. The only thing that would make him say yes to me was my hand in marriage or the promise of a child and there was no way I would offer either of those things. Sen would have my head and his as well if he accepted.

'I… don't know.' I finally admitted, defeated. He was watching me carefully with a smirk on his face. There was no one on the face of this earth that could smirk more irritatingly than he could. He had perfected it. 'Then I guess that settles it.' He said curtly. I lowered my eyes, my shoulders slumping. The silence between us was becoming uncomfortable as I had nothing else to offer. All my cards were on the table and we had both just confirmed that I was indeed utterly useless.

'Unless…' he added, perking my interest. I looked up at him, half fearful and half hopeful at what he was about to request but I already didn't like the look on his face. He came back over to me and I flinched as his fingertips glided down my jawline. Despite how pale and cold the moonlight made him appear, the reality was his touch burned like fire. 'I never did get that kiss from you when you were dressed as a geisha.' He breathed. His touch made my mind go numb. I knew exactly in that moment what he was requesting and a sense of dread seized my stomach.

I'd never kissed before.

Tenderly, he tilted my head up so I was looking at his face. 'I wish to take that kiss from you, Chizuru.' The way he said my name only coaxed me deeper into the depths of a dark paradise. I was struggling to keep my mind clear, to think rationally. But I still knew what I wanted.

I wanted to go to Ezo.

I swallowed, trying to prevent the quivering in my legs as I stood in front of him. 'Will you take me to Ezo then?' I asked. Perverse satisfaction came over his face as he realised he was winning this persuasion game. 'I will. That's a promise.' For all his flaws, lying was not one of them. I'd already worked that out. As manipulative as he was in this moment I knew if I really did kiss him he would take me to Ezo. He'd just promised me.

My lip trembled and when I looked back into his eyes again, he knew what my answer was.

I resisted the urge to flinch as his second hand came up to slide around the back of my head and into my hair. My heart was pounding. I couldn't believe he would be my first kiss. That _Kazama_ would be my first kiss.

'I'll be gentle.' He purred softly as if he could read my mind. His fingertips massaged the back of my neck as if to illustrate his point. Delicately, he pulled me closer to him. Our bodies pressed together, fitting against one another like puzzle pieces. It was a reflex for my hands to slide around his torso, feeling for the first time exactly how strong he was. The muscles on his back twitched against my palms as my fingers slid over his clothed skin. His heat seared me even through his robe. 'Look at me.' He commanded. His voice sounded somewhat tight, like he was trying to control himself and the thought made my core ache. But I looked at him, my heart beating so strongly I had no doubt he could feel it against his chest.

'Beautiful.' He crooned as he looked upon my face, his eyes hazy with insatiable desire. He stretched the word out like he was savouring its flavour. I couldn't help but tremble against his body, holding him tighter so I wouldn't collapse. His fingers tightened in my hair as he felt me shiver and he leaned down to close the distance between us. I tilted my face, digging my fingers into his yukata as he got closer and closer to capturing my lips with his own. My body strangely knew exactly what to do so I closed my eyes and let it take over. The last thing I saw before the blackness behind my eyelids consumed me was his eyes also close. He had such long lashes.

But before our lips met, I heard the door to his room slam open.

I let go of his yukata that I'd been clutching tightly until that moment, instinctively tearing my body away from him in response to the shock of the loud noise. He let me move away from him and he spun around to face the angry Sen who was positioned in the doorway. He was beyond livid. This was the second time she'd stopped us. ' _You_.' He spat, facing away from me as he glowered at her. His voice dripped with revulsion. 'No, _you_.' She retorted. I could see the gold flickering in her brown eyes. 'You are such a manipulative bastard.'

He recoiled at the directness of her insult. 'Excuse me?' He hissed. Sen pointed one of her petite, nailed fingers at him. 'Her body is _not_ payment. How dare you ask something like that of her? You knew she wouldn't be able to refuse.' Sen spat back at him. His lips were pressed into a hard line. 'She's not a child, despite how you treat her. She understood exactly what I'd asked of her and she accepted. This shouldn't even concern you.' He barked. Sen narrowed her eyes at him. 'Her not understanding is not the issue here, it's her not being able to refuse. You know Chizuru-chan would do anything to see them again. Even kiss someone as nauseating as you.'

Before he could respond, I stepped forward. 'Osen-chan, it's ok.' I said. My voice sounded so small compared to the way they'd been speaking. It was feeble. Despite that, it both got their attention. Sen regarded me incredulously. 'What he asked was unfair to you.' She said, softening her tone. I shook my head. 'I have nothing else to offer him.' I said weakly. She folded her arms and turned abruptly away from me like what I said offended her. 'Your body is _not_ a form of payment. I don't care if he only wanted to hold hands with you. That snake of a man knew exactly what he was doing and that you wouldn't be able to refuse.'

They locked eyes for a long time, staring each other down. If I was asked to pick who would win I wouldn't have been able to choose. Their glares were equally as lethal. Even though they weren't even directed at me the hatred I sensed in them made my skin crawl. I sighed, kind of afraid to speak. 'I made a promise, Osen-chan. So I have to…'

'No you damn don't!' Sen sounded like she was ordering me. 'He's the one who needs to stick by his honour. Which involves not taking advantage of young women!' She snapped, not taking her eyes off him. He made a sound of disgust. 'Don't you _dare_ speak to me about honour. I'd only requested a kiss from her. I wasn't going to take her innocence.' He growled.

I went red, turning away from the both of them. _My innocence_?

Sen put her hands on her hips. 'Of course you would say it's _only_ a kiss, wouldn't you? Things like that have lost their meaning to you. You're disgusting. I can't believe if I'd waited 10 seconds later that someone like you would have been her first kiss. The very thought repulses me to no end.' She snapped. I went even redder. 'Umm…..' I interjected awkwardly, almost shrivelling into a ball of mortification as Kazama spun around to look at me. I felt his judging eyes picking me apart. 'First kiss?' He mused, raising an eyebrow. 'So not even your precious peasant has claimed you yet?'

I didn't get an opportunity to react because Sen appeared in front of me. I blinked in shock but before I could fully recover she was already dragging me towards the door. 'Let's go. This bastard is intolerable.'

'Wait!' I cried, pulling my hand away from Sen and stumbling back a few steps. She appeared shocked but waited for me to speak. I turned back to Kazama and bowed to him. 'Please.' I begged. 'Take me to Ezo with you.'

I remained bowed while they both looked at me in silence. It felt like forever.

Suddenly, Kazama sighed. 'Hmph. Very well, I'll take you with me. Just so tomorrow at daybreak this wench can see you leave with me.' His eyes were smouldering with satisfaction. I raised my head, looking cautiously at Sen beside me. She was just moments off losing whatever control she'd managed to muster over the past few seconds. Her eyes were practically boring through him. Kazama's expression was painfully smug and I inwardly sighed. This would be a long few months. 'Fine.' Sen spat back. 'But I swear, if she comes back to me at any stage and says you even brushed up against her by accident, I will kill you myself.' She vowed. He inclined his head. 'I won't do anything to her.'

I was filled with excitement. My mind swirled with the revelation that I would be finally leaving tomorrow. I had so much to pack, so much to do. Something told me I would get almost no sleep tonight due to my joy.

'Well, nothing she won't want, anyway.' He added. I went red and he smirked at me. Sen's eye twitched and once again she grabbed me, shaking her head. She had well and truly had enough of him. 'Come on. We're leaving.'

I let her tug me out of his room. She was fuming. However much they hated each other before tonight it had increased tenfold. I wasn't sure if it was all because of Kazama or if me defending him and still opting to travel in his company exacerbated her rage. 'What an arsehole.' She muttered, pulling me down the stairs. Her grip was still tight on me and she took me straight to my room and closed the door behind us, sighing as we were finally alone. Now that she was no longer in his presence her anger had faded to fatigue. 'Are you ok?' She suddenly asked me. I blinked at her, stunned. 'Uh… yeah.'

'He didn't do anything else did he?' She interrogated, her eyes narrowing at me. I shook my head. She sighed, relief flitting across her face. 'Were you actually going to kiss him?' She pressed. I blushed. 'I was.' I mumbled. She shook her head, sighing and taking my hands in hers. 'I'm sorry. I should have come sooner.'

'It's ok. I was doing fine. I'm sorry for interrupting your time with Amagiri.' I said. She went red and I giggled. 'You can go back now. I'm ok, I promise. I'm going to start packing since I've got lots to do before dawn.' I assured her. She hadn't recovered from my comment yet but she still seemed concerned. 'Do you need some help?' She asked. I shook my head. 'No, it's fine. I'll see you in the morning, ok?' I promised. She smiled at me, squeezing my hands. 'Ok. See you then, Chizuru-chan.' She let my hands go and disappeared from my room. How I wished I could do that each time I saw her vanish.

Once she'd gone, I collapsed down on my futon.

I exhaled slowly, pressing my hand to my pounding heart. All I could see in my mind was the scene of him in the moonlight. He was ethereal. It was almost pathetic how much his appearance affected me. I could still feel the trails of his fingertips on my skin and the feeling of his hands in my hair. A millisecond later and we would have kissed. In that moment, I'd almost wanted it.

After my heart had steadied I got off my futon and looked around my room. So many things to pack.

I sighed, pushing all thoughts of Kazama out of my mind as I started to organise my belongings.

If I was to get any sleep tonight, I would have to pack quickly.


	5. Break of dawn

**Please read the notes at the ends of my chapters because I often will comment there instead of up the top about stuff that's happened in the story!**

 **Cassiel:** Merci beaucoup! J'adore TROP ce couple et je suis contente que tu aimes mes histoires. J'espere que tu continues de les lire parce que beaucoup de choses interessants vont se passer dans les chapitres prochaines... :o

* * *

 **Break of dawn**

I flung my backpack over my shoulder, looking around the room one last time before I left. It was now completely bare save for the furniture and the things I couldn't take with me which were packed safely into the cupboard.

I was dressed in black pants and boots, a dark red tunic and a white undershirt. I had never worn clothes like these before. It felt awkward to wear pants and a shirt; attire that didn't leave much of my body shape to the imagination. My hair was tied up into a bun on top of my head secured with the red cord I normally wore with a ponytail.

I sighed as I turned around to leave the room for good, sliding the door shut behind me. The sunlight hadn't risen over the horizon yet so the air was still chilly despite the fact it was spring. I could see the sparkle of dew on the plants in the garden. The garden I wouldn't see again for many months.

I was finally leaving for Ezo.

I walked towards the front of Sen's house with a heavy feeling in my stomach as I approached the others waiting outside in the street. I could hear Sen talking to Kimigiku on the pebble path and I took in a deep breath before I walked out of her front door. When Sen saw me, she clasped her hands and grinned. 'Wow, look at those legs.' She cooed, coming right over to me to inspect my outfit. I went red, ignoring the presence of the others who were also looking in my direction. I did my best to dismiss the way Kazama was glaring at me too but it was impossible. Leaning casually against the fence, he was dressed in black pants, a white shirt and a black vest. In his arms he held a thick black cape. Seeing him without his typical white yukata and black haori was bizarre, to say the least but I couldn't deny that the new clothes suited him. The build of his body only worsened my blush as did the image of last night's almost-kiss.

Sen's hug distracted me long enough for the colour to drain a little from my face. 'You look beautiful. I'm kind of jealous of these clothes.' She sighed longingly, gliding her hands over the softness of my tunic. Before I could thank her, Kazama's voice cut me off. 'Let's go. We've got a long way to travel before nightfall.' He said irritably. Sen had her back to him but I saw her jaw tense. Ignoring him, she turned to face Amagiri who was standing next to Kazama. He was wearing black pants and a dark grey coat that fell to the back of his knees. It was unbuttoned, showing the white shirt underneath and his broad chest. Despite his menacing appearance, his sky-blue eyes held more gentleness than most people I'd known. I could definitely see how Sen found him attractive. She took his hands into her own. 'Amagiri, please protect little Chizuru-chan.' She requested. He nodded and I saw his hand tighten around hers. She looked so tiny compared to him. 'Of course.' He replied gently. My mouth fell open as he reached down and gave her a kiss on the lips and her arms slid around his neck. I wasn't quite expecting it but I could tell by the way she kissed him back that he had most definitely stayed in her room last night. I resisted the urge to giggle at the thought but I calmed down pretty quickly when I noticed Kazama was staring at me like I was an immature child.

When they finally broke from their passionate kiss, Sen was already blushing. For a second I thought she was going to stay frozen in that mortified position until she wasted away, however it didn't take long for her to regain her composure. She suddenly turned to face Kazama sourly. 'You already know what I want to say to you. Don't let anything happen to her. Not even a scratch upon her skin.' She snapped. He didn't even look at her as his lips curled upwards. Her words seemed to have injured his pride. 'I've already told you, nothing will happen to her. Now hurry up and finish your pathetic goodbyes.' He sighed. Sen glared at him for a few more seconds, complete disdain on her face.

When I felt a hand rest on my arm, I turned to see Kimigiku. 'You'll be back before you know it. Thank you for keeping Sen-hime company.' She said. I smiled at her. 'You're welcome. And thank you, Kimigiku, for all your help.' I said earnestly to her and I was surprised when she laughed. Pulling me into a warm hug she held me just like a mother would her daughter.

It was Sen herself who confronted me next, a tender look on her face. 'I'll see you soon.' She said, hugging me once more. I returned the embrace, feeling the tears prick the back of my eyes. Part of me didn't want to leave; I had grown fond of staying with Sen and the knowledge that I might not see her again for many months made it even more horrible to part with her. 'See you soon.' I said, closing my eyes and memorising the comfort of her hug. We stayed like that for a long time before she pulled away slightly. She smiled at me and I broke inside as I saw the tears in her eyes. 'Be safe.' She murmured. I bit my lip, nodding as I fought hard to keep my own tears from running down my face. 'I will.'

With my heart breaking inside my chest I moved past her to approach the Oni men who were waiting for me. It was only at this moment that I noticed Shiranui was missing but I didn't really care why at that point in time. I was using all of my focus to stop myself from turning into a blubbering mess. Kazama pushed himself off the fence as I approached, swinging his cape gracefully over his shoulders and tying it up. Amagiri waited for me to be by his side before he started to walk away. He gave me a kind smile. I knew it was also hard for him to leave Sen and the thought of someone knowing how I felt gave me a little comfort.

Turning back around to wave at them, all of my composure broke as I saw Sen with tears on her face. All the memories of the last few years flashed before my eyes, especially those of the past few weeks. All the laughter and fun, all the times we'd cooked together and did each other's hair. She was essentially my sister and I would miss her company dearly. I lowered my face as I started to cry, my vision going blurry. Sen instantly appeared in front of me and hugged me tightly and the quiet street echoed with the sound of our sadness. It took several minutes for both of us to calm down enough to let each other go again and she cleared the moisture off my face with the sleeve of her kimono. 'I'll miss you.' I blubbered, and she gave me a small chuckle as she wiped her own eyes after my face was dry. 'I'll miss you too.' She replied. 'But you're welcome back anytime. If that arsehole becomes even more unbearable than he already is, which is unlikely but no doubt still possible, you are always welcome to return here.'

I blushed, feeling the heat from Kazama's gaze from behind me as he glared at Sen. But he didn't say anything.

I went back to stand with Amagiri, feeling better after shedding some tears and we waved at each other. 'Bye!' Sen called after us as we started to walk away. I waved back at her, smiling. 'Bye!'

And then I turned around, glad that the last memory of her I'd see before my return would be of her smiling at me.

* * *

So this was it. This was the start of the journey.

With Kazama in front, we all walked through the city in complete silence.

The sun was starting to come up over the horizon, painting the sky with a pale pink light. The streets were starting to get slightly busier now that it was closer to trading hours and I could hear the faint thuds from people opening their windows to let in the first rays of daylight. Now that I had calmed down substantially I was beginning to get curious about Shiranui's whereabouts. No one had even mentioned him yet but I knew Kazama and Amagiri knew where he was. Despite my curiosity I didn't ask about him. I'd probably find out soon enough.

We left the city and headed west towards the group of farms that supplied the area with most of its produce and animal products. I thought long and hard about our reasons for visiting a farm before our departure but the only thing I could think of was needing to stock up on food for our trip. That was highly likely, since I'd only packed enough food for me and probably not enough to get too far. Sen had given me some money which I could use to buy some food from the farm if that's what they were planning on doing. I couldn't expect Kazama to pay for my food.

I trudged behind them silently, the scent of animal filling my nose as we got closer to the gates. A man was there, dressed in warm clothes.

'Did you prepare them as asked?' Kazama's rich voice pierced the total silence. I got goosebumps when I heard it, like I always did. The man looked up at us and bowed slightly. 'Yes sir, your companion is with them as we speak.'

 _Them?_

The man opened the gate for us to enter and Kazama walked past him without so much as a look in his direction. The extent of his distaste for humans really was quite remarkable. His look of absolute displeasure when dealing with them seemed to form so effortlessly on his face that he may have been born hating them.

The man slid the barn door open and I resisted the urge to cough from the stench of animal. When I looked inside I was surprised to see Shiranui standing next to the stable section of the barn. 'You took your time.' The blue-haired man sighed. He was dressed in black pants and a white shirt. His coat was flung over one shoulder and as per usual, he looked completely nonchalant. Kazama gave no indication that he was even there and he entered the barn without being invited. Shiranui pointed to the stables. 'Here.' He said. 'All saddled and ready to go.'

I peered in and saw another man, a young one, pulling a horse out of a stable. It was a gorgeous sleek black, with a matching black saddle and reins. I couldn't help a smile spread across my face. I'd never ridden a horse before but I was excited to try. The reins were handed to Amagiri who pat the animal gently on the nose. 'He's so cute.' I laughed, sliding my hands over its neck. The sound of my voice after so long in silence startled me a little. The man who had lead it out turned to face me after I spoke. No older than me, he also had brown hair and brown eyes and I saw him look me up and down with intrigue. It was nowhere near as predatory as the way Kazama looked at me but it still made me feel a bit embarrassed, especially because my body shape was on display. He appeared particularly interested by my legs. I smiled at him when his eyes finally rose to my face and he smiled back awkwardly. We were both as red as each other.

'Hurry up and get the others.' Kazama's sudden growl made the boy jump in fright. He ran off quickly back to the stables, too scared to even apologise. I tried to hide my lingering blush from Kazama but there was nothing I could hide from that man's hawk eyes. Instead I distracted myself from embarrassment by continuing to pat the black horse that Amagiri was holding. Even on this journey I would not be freed from Kazama's possessiveness of me.

The second horse was brought out and promptly given to Shiranui. This one was a chestnut brown with a pale brown mane and tail. I was tempted to go across and pat that one too but that would have involved crossing in front of Kazama and I didn't want to attract his attention more than I already had.

The last horse was snow white with faint grey spots on her flank and legs. The only female, like me. I watched as Kazama snatched the reins out of the boys' hands, fixing him with a withering glare as he bowed. He then hastily left the barn, leaving just us four and the man left. I slid my hands over the white horse's face as Kazama fetched a pouch from under his cape. I could hear the coins inside it. 'Here's your payment, as promised.' He said, tossing it to the man. He caught the pouch in his hands, bowing deeply. 'Thank you.'

Kazama turned to leave, leading the white horse behind him. Amagiri and Shiranui followed suite wordlessly and confusion entered my mind as we exited the barn doors. There were only three horses. Would Kazama really make me follow behind on foot? How could he expect me not to slow them down if he didn't even give me a horse! Slightly hurt, I folded my arms. The horses trotted beside us obediently and I was distracted from my confusion as the black one turned to nuzzle my leg. I laughed involuntarily. 'What?' I giggled, patting him softly on the nose. 'I don't have any carrots!' I ran my fingers through his soft black mane, looking up as I felt eyes on me. I went red as I realised all three men had turned to face me and I bit my lip. I really needed to keep my weird outbursts to a minimum, especially since Kazama already had next to no patience with me. I needed to be almost invisible on this trip.

Once we got to the gates, Shiranui turned to pat his horse. 'Ok, buddy. Let's see what you got.' He slipped his foot into the stirrup, heaving himself up into the saddle. He took the reins in his hands and adjusted his position in the seat. I moved away as Amagiri did the same after he'd hooked his bag to the side of the saddle and mounted. 'Give me your bag.' Kazama said, interrupting my thoughts. I turned to him and fixed him with a vacant stare. 'Huh?'

He sighed, like he was speaking to an idiot. 'I said give me your bag.' He repeated. Too afraid to ask him why, I did what he said and he took it off me. Attaching it to the side of his saddle, he did the same with his own bag but on the other side. Amagiri and Shiranui were waiting patiently as Kazama prepared his horse and I stood there uncomfortably as I wondered what was going on. After he was finished, Kazama pulled himself gracefully up into the saddle. Sitting there looking down at me, with a cape on and the first rays of sunlight reflecting in his hair, he looked just like a prince. I was shocked when he held out his hand to me. 'Get up.' He commanded. I felt heat enter my cheeks as I realised what he was suggesting. Surely I wouldn't have to ride with him. I would have rathered walk behind!

After a second of silence he clicked his fingers impatiently. 'Woman, give me your hand.' He sighed, exasperated. Hesitantly I reached out and he grabbed it, pulling me closer to the horse. 'Put your foot in the stirrup and sit behind me.'

I did what he said and his strong hand helped me heave myself up to sit behind him on the saddle. I was forced to shift closer to him and I placed my hands on my thighs, unsure of where to place them. My cheeks were on fire and I could see out of the corner of my eye that Shiranui was looking at the scene play out with total amusement. 'Let's go.' Kazama said, his tone implying he was already bored of the trip and I watched with intrigue as he kicked the horse's sides gently. She lurched forward in response to the command to move and I squealed as I was almost knocked back from the force. My hands automatically clutched Kazama's sides to steady myself. I could feel the heat of his skin through his cape. He turned around to raise an eyebrow at me and I let go of him hastily. 'Sorry.' I mumbled. He just fixed me with a snide regard, turning back to face the front. 'We need to get at least halfway to the next village by nightfall.' He stated. I wondered just how far away that was. Or more importantly, how fast he expected to go to get there in time. Surely this speed was ok?

Clicking his tongue and flicking the reins, the horse broke into a trot. I gasped in shock as I was almost thrown back once again but my hands quickly latched onto his cape before I fell off. Before I could let go like I did last time, Kazama smirked at me. 'You might want to hold on a little tighter.' He suggested, a hint of pleasure in his voice. I blushed and he inclined his head in a gesture that let the other two oni know we were leaving. Kazama slapped the reins down and dug his heels into her side, and I squealed as she started to gallop.

In a desperate bid to stay on the horse I was forced to wrap my arms around Kazama's torso and press myself against his back. I was so terrified that I couldn't even breathe but the feeling of being on a galloping horse was kind of exhilarating. The wind tore through the loose strands of hair framing my face, stinging my eyes and forcing me to close them. I was only too willing to close them because the sight of such speed was making me dizzy. Amagiri and Shiranui were keeping up effortlessly, not even slightly affected by the pace in which we were going.

Clinging onto Kazama for dear life, we rode further and further away from the city.

* * *

We'd been riding for what seemed like an eternity before we finally slowed down. I didn't dare open my eyes for fear I'd get dizzy and I didn't let go of Kazama either. I knew if I let him go I'd fall off and my fear hadn't quite dissipated yet. I had my cheek pressed hard to his back, like it had been ever since we started riding. I was gripping him just as desperately.

I felt the horse slow down to a walking pace, its chest heaving under my ankles.

'She looked like she enjoyed that.' Shiranui said, the sarcasm audible in his tone. I couldn't even blush to his comment. 'Are you ok, Yukimura-sama?' Amagiri asked with concern. Kazama's voice rumbled in his chest as he spoke before anyone else could and I felt the vibrations run up my arm. 'This won't be the only time you hold onto me that tightly, Chizuru.' He purred. His suggestive comment was what I needed to finally rouse myself. With a disturbed sigh and a grimace on my face, I peeled myself off him. He chuckled as he got the reaction he wanted. 'We will rest for a while, then resume travel.' He slid off the horse effortlessly and I remained there, squinting at the light I hadn't seen for the whole morning we'd been riding. My eyes had been closed so tightly I'd only seen black.

'Come here.' Kazama's voice broke through my daze and I turned to look at him. He was standing right beside the horse, his hands beckoning me to let him help me down. I shook my head, embarrassed even in my dizziness. I swung my leg over to get down myself and I gasped as pain seized my body. Kazama caught me around the waist as I slipped. 'Do I need to carry you?' he teased as he set me on my feet. 'I'm fine.' I mumbled, almost collapsing on the grass beside a tree. My whole body hurt from tensing up for so long and my arse was killing me. Riding was certainly a lot more painful than I expected. Amagiri handed me the water flask from my bag and I took it from him gratefully. 'Thanks.'

I sat against the tree trunk, feeling the bruising already starting to heal. I was dreading having to get back on the horse but the sooner I got used to it the better. It was possible I had many months of this and hopefully I would end up relying less on Kazama's body to keep me anchored. I shuddered with embarrassment, feeling the heat finally return to my cheeks as I reflected on how much my actions would have fed his ego. I could practically feel the smugness radiating off him as he sat down a few metres away from me.

After the pain fully subsided and my dizziness retreated I was able to stomach an apple that I'd packed for today's lunch. I ate three quarters of it then dragged myself to my feet, moving over to our horse who was casually eating some grass. 'Here. This is for all that running.' I said. She lifted her head to eat the remainder of the apple and I pat her affectionately. 'Do you have a name?' I sighed quietly as she chewed. She looked at me blankly and I smiled. 'Well, since you're my horse and you're white, I'll call you Yuki.'

'Come on.' Kazama interrupted, putting my water flask back in my bag. I stroked her mane one more time before I moved around to her side. He held out his hand again and I reluctantly took it, moaning internally as I dreaded the upcoming stint. He helped pull me up behind him again and didn't hesitate in teasing me. 'Hold on tight.'

I blushed, looking violently away from him. When Amagiri and Shiranui had also got on their horses he wasted no time. Only gasping instead of squealing as we started to gallop, I moved closer to him and held on. It wasn't as bad as before because I knew what to expect but there was no way I'd be able to stay on if I let go of his body. Reluctantly I was forced to grip him tightly and wrap my arms around his chest with my cheek pressed to his back. Even with all the wind whipping around me, I could smell his warm scent clearly. It burned in my nose, spicy but calming. Kind of familiar strangely.

Even though he was already unbearable, I was content. He had agreed to take me to Ezo and the fact we had horses would make the journey even quicker. I probably would have walked most of the way and taken carriages when I could but like this, I was filled with even more hope that I'd arrive in time.

 _Please, Hijikata-san…_

 _Please be safe._

* * *

 **Ending note**

As you would have noticed, I did change their attire and Chizuru's hairstyle! I didn't really like Kazama's purple trench coat and I think a cape and shirt suit him much better :) Also Yuki means 'snow' in Japanese (note: -mura of Chizuru's last name means village in Japanese. So Chizuru's last name put together is something equivalent to Snowvillage, possibly reflective of the location of where she grew up as a child). The Kaza of Kazama's name means 'wind', and the –kage of Chikage means 'shadow'. Sorry, I like to pick apart their names. It's interesting!


	6. First day

**Guest** \- Thanks so much for your review! I don't blame you at all for fangirling over Amagiri and Sen because I do EXACTLY the same thing! I love that pairing so much and find them ridiculously adorable 3 Make sure you come back to this story regularly because I post news chapters every few days. Thank you!

* * *

 **First day**

I gazed up at the canopy of leaves above our heads as the light filtered through them, casting shadows over the dirt path.

We had slowed our horses down to a walk as we looked for somewhere to stay the night. I patted Yuki's rump gently as I reached into my bag on the side of the saddle and pulled out a packet of dried apricots; my favourite dried fruit. I opened up the bag and started to eat, sighing as the sweet taste hit my tongue. I was practically starving as I'd only eaten an apple and some rice since I'd left this morning.

Kazama was seated in front of me. We hadn't spoken since lunch which was no surprise because we'd been riding the whole time. The light sneaking past the leaves above us made his hair shine gold and as I reflected back on the day, I realised he hadn't eaten. Shiranui and Amagiri had both packed their lunch and it seemed weird that Kazama would forget something so basic. He didn't seem like the type of person that would forget something as simple as food. I winced as I brought up the courage to speak. 'Do you want some?' I asked, moving the bag of apricots into his field of vision. He didn't even look down at what I was holding. 'Only if you feed them to me.' He said, his lips twitching into a half-smile. I blushed and pulled them back, shoving another one into my mouth. He seemed amused by my reaction but didn't say anything else. I ate one more before I returned them to my bag and flicked the flap shut. As I pulled my arm up my bracelet got caught on a small hook on the saddle and I sighed, carefully unhooking it and bringing it up to my face. I checked to see if the links in the chain were still ok.

'Where did you get that?'

Kazama's interest in my jewellery caught me off guard for a second. 'What, my bracelet?' I clarified. I couldn't see his face but the pause suggested he was making one of his 'what an idiot' expressions. 'Yes, the bracelet.' He finally confirmed. I wondered how I would respond to that. I didn't want to sound crazy by saying a mystery man gave it to me but I obviously had to tell him the truth. 'A man gave it to me when I was living in the Yukimura village. I don't remember much apart from the fact he was the one that put it on my wrist.' I studied it carefully and watched the red charm gleam in the light. I said the next part almost to myself. 'I feel like he was someone important but he wasn't from the village, I know that. His features were too bright. But I remember thinking he was…'

I trailed off, trying to find the right word to use. I pressed my finger to my lip as I thought. 'Hmm…Beautiful, I guess.'

After I finished, I lowered my head. My lack of memories was probably amusing to him. He seemed to like seeing me struggle with things but he didn't say anything this time. None of them did.

We finally found a small clearing located a few hundred metres away from the path where Kazama ordered that we would stay the night. I really didn't need his help to get down this time and refused his smug offer to once again catch me. I tied Yuki up to a tree branch and she immediately started to chew on the grass. I pat her head affectionately as she ate.

'Alright, I'm getting firewood.' Shiranui said loudly. The other two barely acknowledged that he'd spoken, which he'd expected because he was already three feet into the forest and disappearing. Amagiri got to clearing away some grass for the fire pit. Unsure what to do, I just stood there in silence for a while before Kazama's voice split through the tranquillity. 'There's a creek a few hundred metres north. If you wish to bathe you may do so but make yourself useful and take the horses for a drink.'

Relieved I had been given a task, I nodded. Untying each of the horses from their trees I set in the direction that Kazama had lazily pointed too. I trusted his judgement that he knew the creek was indeed this way.

Breathing a sigh of relief as I was released from his stifling presence, I managed to navigate the three horses through the thicket. It was so crazy how I was travelling with him. If you had have told me 4 years ago that this would happen I wouldn't have believed it. That man had tried to kidnap me and kill my friends, yet here I was traveling with him to find the very men he'd sworn to end. Thinking about that reminded me of what he'd said to Sen about having loose ends to tie up. What had he meant? What could possibly be in Ezo that he would need to take care of?

I'd only been walking for less than 10 minutes when I heard the trickling of water. I exited the trees to find a creek as Kazama had promised. It was beautiful, going slightly downhill and edged with smooth grey rocks and moss. I lead the horses over for a drink and as they were busy quenching their thirst I fished around in my bag for my towel and toiletries. I pulled them out and placed them by the edge of the pool, dipping my finger in to test the water. It wasn't exactly warm but it was tolerable. I was a little hesitant to unclothe in case Kazama burst into the clearing but I knew Amagiri would keep him in check. Besides, Kazama was a jerk but I didn't think he would deliberately peek on me while I was bathing. That would definitely warrant for Sen to end his life.

I hung my clothes on a tree branch as I pulled them off. Covering myself just in case, I quickly tiptoed back over to the pool and proceeded to lower myself in and I hissed as the cold water nipped at my skin. After I'd adjusted to the temperature I was able to appreciate the serenity of where I was. Grass came up all the way to the rocks lining the creek and the air smelled like earth and nature. It was a beautiful area.

I was distracted by my thoughts when something brushed up against my leg. I squealed, pulling myself out of the water and peering down at the depths. Just as I managed to persuade myself that it was nothing, I noticed that it had been a fish. I sighed at how I'd reacted and watched it swim around beneath the surface. Suddenly I had a brilliant idea. I hadn't thought of it when Kazama had asked me what I could give them in return but I could definitely cook. And it just so happened I'd filleted and cooked many a fish. Could I stab it with my kodachi? Maybe I could lure it up with bait?

I moved back to my saddlebag and pulled out my apricots, in addition to my kodachi which was sitting sheathed on the grass. It might not have been able to eat these but I was sure the sight of them would lure it up high enough for me to get it with my sword. I moved back over to the water's edge and tore off a chunk of apricot, dropping it in the water. The fish had disappeared but it didn't take long for the sight of a potential meal to coax it back out of the depths. I watched it swallow the sinking chunk of apricot.

Success.

I dropped the second chunk in, poised to strike this time. The fish came back up but before it had time to swallow the apricot piece I had pierced my blade through its side. 'Yeah!' I squealed, holding my sword carefully as I pulled it out of the water so the fish wouldn't slide off and sink. I quickly brought it over on the grass and pulled the sword out. I felt bad as I watched it stop moving but such was the circle of life.

After I got dressed I pulled the horses away from the grass they were eating. 'There's plenty of that back at camp.' I said as I pierced a stick through the fish's tail so I didn't have to carry it with my hands. It was a bit harder to take the horses back because I had one less hand to hold their reins but they all seemed to follow me anyway without much fuss.

When I finally arrived back at the campsite, I was kind of amazed at how much they'd done. The fire was already roaring. How had they managed to get it going so well so quickly?

Brushing aside my confusion, I tied the horses up to the trees. 'I got some fish.' I said timidly as I turned around. They were already looking at me and I blushed as I realised that in my excitement I hadn't even brushed my hair. I didn't need a mirror to know that it looked like a bird's nest. 'You caught that?' Shiranui almost sounded impressed. I smiled, nodding. 'I thought we could eat it for tea.' I said. Amagiri also looked a little stunned. 'Well done, Yukimura-sama.' He congratulated. I blushed. 'Please… call me Chizuru.' I said with red cheeks. He nodded. 'Very well.'

Kazama was the only one who said nothing as I put the fish on the grass and snatched my dagger and hairbrush from my bag. I placed the dagger beside the fish but taming my messy hair came before filleting it. 'Don't get it stuck this time.' Shiranui goaded as he sat down with his back against the tree. He laughed as I went red and I didn't respond to his comment.

I brushed my hair in silence, flicking my eyes to each of the three men. Shiranui looked completely at ease as he rested against the tree with his hands behind his head and his eyes closed. He was quite handsome but there was no way I could ever entertain the thought of becoming interested in him. He was too much like a big brother, always joking around and stirring trouble. Amagiri was looking into the fire pensively, the reflections of the flames visible in his blue eyes. I wondered yet again about him and Sen. I was glad that he'd come with me but also a little sad that their parting would be for so long. Knowing you were leaving someone you had feelings for, probably for months, wasn't easy. I knew how it felt. It had been ages since I saw Hijikata and my heart ached every time I thought about him and how much I missed him. I'd realised a while ago that I'd fallen in love with him.

Then there was Kazama. He seemed to be thinking hard and not really paying attention to anything or anyone around him. He was frowning slightly but it wasn't a malicious frown. With his head lifted to the sky, his fringe had fallen to the side and exposed a little more of his forehead. His hair looked so spiky especially at the back but something told me it was soft and warm.

Once my hair was brushed, I plaited it so it would stay out of my face while I was cooking. I got up to pull out the small assortment of dishes I'd stuffed in my bag. I had made sure I was prepared, not relying on anyone else to bring me what I needed. After all, a lot of the things I'd brought with me were purchased when I thought I'd be traveling alone and I didn't want to rely on Kazama too much because I didn't want to be more of a burden than I already was.

I pulled out a plate and a frying pan and got to work filleting the fish with my dagger. It had been given to me by Sen before I left as a parting present.

 _Feel free to use it to stab that prick in his sleep._ Her words echoed in my mind and I smiled to myself as I remembered them. She looked like she'd been half serious, too.

I squinted in concentration as I picked the tiny bones out. It was tedious work but my father had always congratulated me on how he never found bones in his fish when I did the preparation. My heart stung a little when I thought about him. That was another thing too about how bizarre it was that I was traveling with Kazama. He'd killed both my father and my brother as well.

When I finally finished, the sun had already set and the light from the flames danced across our faces. I placed the fish scraps to the side and pulled out a small bag of salt and mixed herbs. Salt was the key to cooking tasty fish with crispy skin. I moved over to the fire and used a stick to coax some burning wood away from the rest of the mass of flames. When the pan was placed on the burning coals and the fish was cooking, I moved back to my place on the grass.

'There's an extra pan and some vegetables in my bag.' Kazama suddenly said. He was still analysing the sky placidly, like he hadn't even talked. I presumed that meant he wanted me to cook them and I got up without a word. He was so bossy sometimes but I was glad he was giving me stuff to do. If cooking was the only thing I was capable of, then I would make sure I did it well. I got up, feeling a little uncomfortable as I opened up his bag to look inside. I really had no idea what to expect but it all looked pretty boring. He really didn't have much apart from his rolled up yukata, his haori and a book. It was a dark blue colour with a gold spine and I could see that it had no title. Not wanting to pry any longer, I pulled the small sac of food and cookery from his bag and took it back over near the fire. I turned the fish over before I started on the vegetables. It would have been nice to know he wanted vegetables before I started cooking the fish because now they wouldn't both be ready at the same time. I used the small knife inside the sac of cutlery to peel the carrots.

All was going well until I felt something land on my head.

I squealed, my hand reaching up to swat whatever had landed in my hair but my hands touched something warm and soft. It was moving. I picked it up and brought it in front of my face, looking at it in silence. It was a bird. A bird had just landed on my head. Shocked, I put it down on the grass. 'Uh…' It looked up at me as I spoke and I stared blankly at it. I'd never had a bird land on me before. Maybe it was previously owned by someone?

'Shoo it away.' Kazama snapped after a while of silence. I flinched at his voice, resisting the urge to sigh at his tone. I picked the bird up and placed it on the grass again since it had jumped into my lap. I flicked my hand at it. 'Go.' I urged, but it didn't. I clicked my tongue. 'Go on.' But it stayed. I shook my head at its stubbornness. It reminded me of Kazama. 'Ok, here.' I said, handing it a scrap of carrot skin. It took it from me eagerly and Kazama looked beyond annoyed. 'Stop feeding it. It's vermin.' He growled. His expression of annoyance had turned into anger and Shiranui looked back and forth between us with his hand covering his grin. I was forced to look away from his red gaze but he didn't say anything and I tried once again to force the bird to leave. 'I've fed you now. So off you go.'

I was relieved as it finally flew away, leaving me still curious as to why it had come to me in the first place. Kazama's anger hadn't dissipated and my regret was now beginning to get worse. Not even a full day into the trip and he already looked like he wanted to send me back to Sen. He hadn't taken his eyes off me yet and with each passing second of getting scorched by his gaze my cheeks got pinker.

With the food finally ready, I used the extra plates to serve up everyone's dinner. I reached across to Amagiri and he took the plate off me as well as the chopsticks I handed him. Shiranui meandered over as he saw dinner was ready and he thanked me as he took his own plate and sat back down at the base of his tree. I didn't even need to look at Kazama to know he wasn't going to get up and come to me so I put his food on the plate and walked over to where he was. Placing it down on the grass in front of him and putting the chopsticks on the side of his bowl too, I moved back to my own space. I started to eat my own meal. You could tell the fish was fresh and it was cooked perfectly. I found no bones. Amagiri seemed to enjoy it too. 'This is very nice. Thank you.' He said as he ate. Shiranui gave me a casual salute. 'Cheers.' He said. I smiled at their gratitude. 'You're welcome.'

No thanks came from Kazama, of course, but he had started eating.

Once everyone was finished I gathered the dishes and put them in the sac. 'I'm going to wash them at the creek. I'll be back.' I said quietly as I picked up the bag of dishes and went to walk away.

No one stopped me as I walked back into the darkness of the forest, once again relieved to be alone.

* * *

I crawled into my futon, finally.

Today had been a really intense day and I was thoroughly exhausted and eager for some sleep. I could already feel fatigue coaxing my eyelids shut. The other 3 oni were still awake, although they were getting ready for bed. I could hear them unrolling their futons and arranging them on the grass. I was separate to them on the other side of the fire.

I sighed in relief as I closed my eyes, pulling my blanket up to my neck to protect my body from the night air. The sounds of the others preparing for bed didn't stop me from slipping into the darkness of my dreams.

The last thing I heard before I fell asleep was the soft cooing of a bird, somewhere among the trees.

* * *

 **Ending note**

That was quite a domestic chapter, wasn't it? I promise things will get more interesting from here on out so don't worry :D


	7. Saviour

**Cassiel** \- Merci pour avoir dit que tu aimes mon style d'ecriture. Il me faut plusieurs heures pour ecrire et modifier les chapitres. Cest dur, mais je l'adore! Kazama est mon caractere d'anime prefere parce que son personalite est un peu chiant et arrogant… mais au fond, je suis sur qu'il est doux :3 Et si tu n'aimes pas Sen pis t'as de la chance parce qu'elle n'est pas trop presente dans cette histoire... En ce qui concerne Shiranui, je veux developer son caractere et celui d'Amagiri parce qu'on ne decouvert pas trop d'eux dans l'anime/les jeux. J'espere que tu aimes la prochaine chapitre ! Aussi j'espere que mon francais n'est pas trop nulle haha.

* * *

 **Saviour**

No one spoke as we made our way through the village.

We'd arrived just before midday and the streets were bustling. Men, women and children were wandering from stall to stall and making the most of the beautiful weather and the assortments of food and gifts for sale. With so many people out and about it reminded me of Kyoto and if I hadn't have been with Kazama I would have been looking around too. With him in front walking straight and proud, it reminded me of our date last New Years'. Just like that day he still had an aura of superiority about him, present in the way he walked and carried himself. He didn't make an effort to dodge anyone walking in the opposite direction, but he didn't need to because the permanent look of distaste on his visage was enough to send people scattering. It was remarkable how the crowd automatically dispersed as he walked through it, although he _was_ earning quite a number of stares from the females we passed. Despite the potency of the disdain on his face, it was impossible not to stare at his beauty.

Amagiri had stayed back on the outskirts of the village to look after the horses and Shiranui and Kazama were accompanying me. When I stole a glance at the blue haired oni, he appeared entirely bored. I could see this journey was the last thing Shiranui had wanted to do. I knew both he and Amagiri were still under Kazama's command but it seemed a little unfair that they were being dragged all the way to Ezo. What for? Couldn't Kazama look after himself? However, I couldn't say I was complaining because things might have turned out differently if it was just Kazama and I travelling and something told me Sen would have rathered take me herself than let me go alone with him. I had a feeling that Amagiri was the only reason she'd given me permission to go.

Almost like Shiranui had known I'd been thinking about him, he let out a long sigh. 'Only you could make an entire village uneasy. It's like we are poisonous or something with the wide berth everyone is giving us.' He said plainly. Shiranui was the most talkative out of all 3 oni men and definitely the most daring when it came to the way he spoke to Kazama. I had to admit Shiranui was gutsy but it was true that everyone seemed to be avoiding us. It probably had something to do with the fact we were dressed in strange clothes as well as the lethal expression on Kazama's face. All I wanted to do was to get the food we needed and leave before we got attacked or questioned about wearing western clothes.

When Kazama finally spoke, it wasn't directed at Shiranui. 'Go over there and buy the food on this list.' He said dully. I flinched as he stopped in his tracks and I felt proud as I avoided bashing into his back like I'd done so often in the past. He handed me a small piece of paper and a bag of coins. I took the sac of money from him and held it cautiously. 'It's ok, I already have money.' I murmured. I still couldn't quite muster up the courage to speak confidently around him and it was only made worse by the glare he gave me once those words had left my mouth. 'Don't insult me. I don't need your money. Just take what I gave you and go with Shiranui. I'll meet you back here in half an hour and don't be late.' He commanded. I shoved the coin sack into my pocket and nodded, flustered by his tone. 'Ok.'

Without another second delay, he walked away and left us standing in the middle of the street alone.

Once he'd disappeared completely from sight, Shiranui snorted. 'As charming as ever.' He said, gesturing for me to follow him. 'Let's get this over and done with before he gets back.' He sighed, and I followed him wordlessly through the crowd. Opening up the small piece of paper as I walked, I noticed he'd written it himself, his handwriting fluid and legible, and I read through the list. Rice, carrots, potato, apples… nothing too extravagant. Shiranui leaned against the side of a shop with crossed arms and watched me as I sought the things on the list. It was obvious he wasn't going to help but he would keep an eye out on me.

The man behind the counter greeted me with a warm smile as I approached. 'Hello young lady, what can I get you?' He asked me warmly. I smiled back and squinted at the note in my hand. 'Can I please get a bag of rice?' I requested, and the man nodded eagerly. 'Indeed. Which size?' He asked. I pointed to the medium sized one. Too small and it wouldn't last very long but too big and the horses wouldn't be able to carry it. He picked up the one I selected and placed it on the counter as I handed over the money. He bowed to me once I was ready to leave. 'Thank you for your business.' He said gratefully. I bowed back and picked up the rice, waddling over to Shiranui as I tried to keep my balance. He took it from me without being asked, grinning. 'You really are weak.' He said, placing it at his feet. I blushed and he gestured to the note. 'I'll stay here. Go back and get the other things.' He instructed, so I left him. I realised that when Shiranui told me what to do it didn't feel rude or mean. He was simply keeping me on track. But when Kazama ordered me around… it was nothing short of obnoxious.

I was greeted with zeal by the shopkeeper of the next stall I visited. I showed her my list and she managed to source everything except for the carrots. Once I'd thought long and hard about how much of everything Kazama would expect me to buy, I handed over the coins and picked up the sac of vegetables I'd purchased. 'Thank you.' I said kindly. She nodded in acknowledgment of my thanks. 'You're quite welcome, dear.' She said, and I dragged the sac of vegetables along the group of stalls in order to find someone who was selling carrots. I wasn't annoyed that I was being made to do this because I was willing to do the tasks they didn't want to do in order to show my gratitude. It was still a little surreal that I was actually on my way to Ezo with a man who was once, and maybe could still be, my enemy. After the big deal he'd made about me not being able to give him anything in return I was more than happy to do things like this.

I felt a blush enter my cheeks as I thought of that night. We'd been so close to kissing that I'd almost been able to taste him. When I reflected back on that occasion I was ashamed at myself for having been too caught up in the moment to realise exactly what I'd promised him. Of course, if that had truly been the only way to persuade him to take me along then I would have done it, and I almost did, but it would have been beyond insane if he'd been my first kiss. I always thought it would be with Hijikata. I'd always _wanted_ it to be with Hijikata.

Banishing such humiliating thoughts from my head as I started to go redder and redder, I finally managed to find someone who was selling what I needed. 'Hello.' I said as I approached the stall. The woman looked up from washing some vegetables to smile at me. 'Why hello there.' She responded, drying her hands on a nearby towel. 'What can I do for you?' Her eyes were busy analysing my attire as she awaited my answer. 'Would I be able to get 20 carrots?' I asked. She seemed thrilled I'd asked for so many. 'Of course. Are you having people over for dinner tonight?' She asked curiously. I wasn't sure what to say. 'I'm travelling with my… uh… friends.' I said. It felt weird to refer to them as my friends but I wasn't going to stand there and explain our exact relationship to one another because that would have been confusing. I wasn't even sure what my relationship to them _was_. She looked intrigued. 'Oh. Where are you going?' She asked as she bagged up the carrots I'd asked for. I counted them along with her to make sure she got the right amount. 'Umm… just up north a little to see some family.' I lied. I didn't like lying but Kazama hadn't told me exactly what I could and couldn't tell people. I didn't want to get reprimanded later when he'd found out I told everyone we were going to Ezo. She seemed to believe me but her face changed to one of concern as she handed me the carrots. 'Be careful up there. That's where the war has moved too and I've heard it's only getting more dangerous.' She warned. Little did she know that's exactly where I was going. I fished out the gold coins I owed and she took them from me with a bow. 'Thank you.' She said, seemingly unfazed that I hadn't responded to her. 'Be careful and take care.' She chirped as I walked away. I gave her a smile before I turned around to walk back to Shiranui.

He hadn't move an inch since I'd left him and I dropped the sac of vegetables at his feet, exhausted. I wiped the sweat off my forehead and he chuckled. 'Well done. You managed to complete that in under half an hour.' He said. I smiled a little at his compliment and turned back to the stalls. 'Do you think I could go and have a bit of a look? I won't stray too far away.' I promised timidly. Shiranui was much more lenient than Kazama, so he only shrugged. 'Do as you wish. But make sure you're back in 15 minutes before the almighty Kazama-sama returns.' He said. I winced when he referred to him so sarcastically but I still didn't detect any malice. It didn't sound like Shiranui hated Kazama but instead found amusement in making fun of him, both in front of and behind his back. I thanked him and walked back over to the stalls, mingling into the crowd.

Now that I was no longer with Kazama, I wasn't being avoided. The people all walked close beside me and had no problems encroaching on my personal space so I practically had to shove through them to get to the row of shops I was interested in. I got some weird looks from people who noticed my clothes but I was relieved when no one questioned me about them. I walked over to a stall which was selling all sorts of beautiful kimonos and accessories. I sighed as I looked down at what I was wearing; once again, male clothes. Those 2 and a half weeks at Sen's wearing a kimono had been heaven. I'd missed feeling like a girl and the disappointment of having to dress like a man again was a lot more disappointing than I remembered. The lady only smiled at me politely as I analysed the goods she had for sale, leaving me in peace while she continued to embroider butterflies on the bottom of a blue kimono.

I thought back to the one Kazama had bought me, the mauve coloured one. It had been so eye-wateringly beautiful but unfortunately I'd left it behind in Kyoto with Sen because it would have served no purpose for me on this journey. Since that day I hadn't been able to find a kimono more beautiful than that one, nor one with fabric that felt as lush. I should have known Kazama would spare no expense when selecting my outfit for that date, simply because of his pride.

When I'd finished looking, I went to move onto the next stall.

My progress to the next shop was hindered when I heard a loud shout.

Peering over the crowds of people to see better, I tried to look for where the noise was coming from. It sounded like an argument. As I continued to search I finally laid eyes upon a group of men that were harassing one of the shopkeepers. It was just a boy they were talking to, maybe no older than 12, and I could see even from this distance the fear in his eyes. The men looked like the rogue soldiers I'd encountered so many times while on patrol with the Shinsengumi and the kind of men I'd saved Sen from all those years ago.

I pushed through the crowd without a second thought and made my way over to them hastily. I could already pick up on parts of their conversation. '…slave away day and night to protect you people and when we ask for something in return we get nothing!' One of the men jeered. There were 4 of them, typical dirty ronin. My stomach twisted in repulsion as I saw one go to reach for the boy. They grabbed his shirt and tore him from behind the booth. The boy was spluttering in fear. 'I need this money for my family! Please!' He begged. The men feigned pity. 'Oooh, you poor child. We have families to feed too, you know…'

I finally managed to burst from the crowd and into the small clearing around the argument. I couldn't believe no one was helping this poor boy; in fact, they'd only moved away so they wouldn't get involved. I'd done this a few times now but I was still nervous as I approached them. 'Excuse me, do you mind letting that boy go?' I requested. All 4 men turned to look at me and they didn't speak for some time. I was relieved when they finally let go of him and he dropped to the floor, cradling the arm they'd been clutching. One of the men turned to narrow his eyes at me. 'What do you want, woman? Mind your own damn business.' He spat. At the man's words the other three puffed up their chests too and sneered at me. I was scared but there was no way I was going to let that boy be hurt or robbed. 'I want you to stop harassing this boy. What he's earned is not yours, no matter what you claim to do for this village. To me you just seem like a bunch of dirty thieves.' I said sternly. The boy gaped at me in surprise, scurrying over to the foot of his stall where he watched the scene play out with shock.

The men seemed gobsmacked at what I'd said but it didn't take long for their anger to pile up. I tried not to shake in fear as the tallest one got right up in my face, staring down at me. 'Listen here, _woman_. I don't know who you think you are but I'll give you one more chance to get the hell out of our way before I put that sharp mouth of yours to a better use. Disobedient women like you are only good as pets. Now get lost.' He growled. My eyes widened in disgust at what he said and as a reflex I shoved him away from me. I would not stand for being talked to like that and especially threatened in that way. 'You're disgusting, all of you. How can you treat both a child and a lady so appallingly? Don't forget it was a woman that birthed all of you degenerates.' I scolded. He was only getting more livid but I was determined not to back down. I wondered how long Shiranui would wait before he intervened. Could he even see me?

Suddenly the man grabbed me by the front of my cape, pulling me so close to him I could smell the alcohol on his breath. 'I warned you. It's a shame I'm going to have to ruin that pretty face.' He spat.

I winced as he raised his hand to hit me, bracing myself for the impact.

But it never came.

When I opened my eyes cautiously, I saw someone had grabbed the man's hand before it had made contact with my face. But it wasn't Shiranui. As I followed the hand back to the person it belonged to, I gulped in fear as I saw the bloodlust in Kazama's eyes. They were practically glowing with rage.

The howl that filled the air when Kazama snapped the man's wrist was almost as sickening as the sound of his bones breaking.

Kazama promptly let the man go and he fell to his knees, cradling his broken hand. The man glowered up at him with a gleam of madness in his eyes. 'You bastard. I'll kill you for that!' He cursed, going to stand up again. Kazama completely ignored him as he decided his threat wasn't even worth reacting to and he glared at the other 3 men. 'The same fate awaits all of you insects if you don't get out of my sight right now.' He said, low and deadly. His voice seemed to carry through the air. He was petrifying.

I could see the fight in the men's eyes as they decided whether to stay or flee, but they chose the smart option. Dragging their friend off his knees and sending us one last collective death glare, they stalked off down the street.

I didn't get another second to process what had happened because Kazama grabbed my hand and started to pull me away from the scene. He was so angry I could feel it radiating off him and I had a feeling he was going to chastise me heavily for intervening in the argument. I could tell Shiranui was going to get punished too for leaving me alone. The crowd parted effortlessly as Kazama stormed past everyone out of the busy streets and over to where Shiranui was waiting. I bit my lip as I noticed he was sitting on the ground, his hands behind his neck.

He peered up at us lazily as we approached but didn't even get time to speak. 'I can't even entrust her to you for half an hour. This idiot woman almost got beaten to a pulp in the middle of the damn street and here I find you _sleeping_!' He seethed. Shiranui frowned a little and Kazama turned to me. 'And _you_. That self-righteous attitude of yours is going to get you killed one day. If it wasn't for me, they would have done a lot more than that. Don't pick fights you can't win especially if you're as useless as you are.' He snapped, letting my hand go like my touch repulsed him. I cowered a little as his words hurt me but I didn't say anything. I didn't want to run the risk of having Kazama chide me even more.

Shiranui finally got up and looked at me, doing a brilliant job of ignoring Kazama's exasperation. 'Did you almost get yourself killed again?' He sighed. I looked away from him in shame and Kazama writhed a little beside me. 'Pick up the food and let's go. Enough with your jesting.' He snapped. I watched as he spun on his heel and started to walk away from us towards the village exit and Shiranui and I exchanged a glance before we followed him. Neither of us spoke.

My heart was still pounding with adrenaline. I really had been close to getting hit and seeing as though Shiranui wasn't paying attention, I may have been hurt really badly. I was thankful that Kazama had saved me but I knew he'd brood for at least a few days because of what had happened. I suppose what I'd done had been slightly reckless but no one else seemed to have any intent on interceding so I'd had a duty to do what I could. My heart was warmed at the fact that boy would have money to bring back to his family at the end of the day.

We made our way past the gates and out into the edge of the forest lining the village. I could already see Amagiri sitting down under a tree near the horses, which had their reins tied to a tree branch. They were passively eating grass but looked up as they saw us approaching. Amagiri knew as soon as he peered up at us that something had happened. 'Did you get what you needed?' He asked. Kazama made no attempt to answer his question. 'Let's go.' He snapped, his words directed at all three of us. Amagiri didn't press for answers as he raised himself from his sitting position. Shiranui shoved the vegetables into his horse's saddlebags and Amagiri organised the rice.

Swiftly and gracefully, Kazama mounted Yuki. He held out his hand for me to take without even looking at me. 'Hurry up.' He enjoined. I swallowed the lump in my throat and did what he said, hauling myself up behind him and getting comfortable. The other two oni organised themselves as well, slipping on their riding gloves as Kazama put on his. 'Move back. You're taking up the entire saddle.' He snapped. I resisted the urge to sigh, sliding back a little more and giving him as much room as possible.

When he was content with the position, he turned Yuki around. 'Let's go.' He muttered.

He didn't even wait for me to hold on this time before he kicked Yuki into a gallop. I held onto him tightly as we resumed the journey, pressing my chest to his warm back. I wondered how long he'd be angry for about this. I felt bad for inconveniencing him but I didn't regret my choice to intervene.

Riding in the direction of the sunset, we didn't stop until dusk.


	8. Fingertips

**NyaPowa** \- Thanks for your review I must admit in the anime I got so frustrated all the time because Chizuru was always doing stupid things with no regard for her own life. But I kind of realise now that strength doesn't have to be in the body, and Chizuru possesses a strength of heart that I think makes her special in a way. Even though it can be seen as reckless, I think the ability to do the right thing (even when you are weak) is something to be admired. And I definitely aim to explore Amagiri and Shiranui's characters in this fic because we don't really find out too much about them in the anime which is disappointing. Thanks!

 **Guest** \- Thank you! I love that you love this :3

 **ALSO GUESS WHAT EVERYONE**. This isn't really related to my story at all but the voice actor of Kazama Chikage (Kenjiro Tsuda, well known for his smexy AF voice) has been cast as Christian Grey's Japanese dub in 50 shades of Grey so if you would like to hear Kazama's voice talk about lewd things then go and find the Japanese dubbed movie if it's out yet haha :D :D just thought I'd let you all know.

* * *

 **Fingertips**

It was almost nightfall when Kazama decided on a suitable place to stay the night.

He immediately dismounted as he brought Yuki to a stop, not even turning around to give me his usual smug offer to help get me down. He still didn't seem entirely impressed with my earlier show of courage which was understandable. I felt guilty about making him frustrated but I also knew I couldn't have stood there and watched as a child got assaulted and robbed; maybe he'd be able to watch something like that happen but I couldn't. I dismounted by myself and tied Yuki to a tree after I'd stretched my sore, aching legs. Today had been a painful day of riding but we had travelled a fair distance and I was looking forward to crawling into my futon and finally going to sleep with a full stomach.

Amagiri got to clearing a space for the fire pit and Shiranui disappeared into the forest presumably to find firewood. I noticed they had a routine of how they did things. How many times had they travelled together in the past to be able to know what to do without speaking? In fact, I noticed they kind of rarely spoke and yet they seemed to be able to coordinate effortlessly as a group. It was like they were in sync but I supposed that would come naturally after at least 4 years of travelling together. I had a feeling they'd known each other even before that anyway.

I got straight to preparing dinner. I sought some rice from Amagiri's horse's saddlebags and some vegetables from Shiranui's and sat down to get everything ready. I was utterly famished and coupled with my exhaustion it rendered me virtually braindead, but I wasn't so far gone as to be incapable of reflecting on the journey so far. We hadn't been travelling for very long but I was amazed at how quickly I'd grown accustomed to it. I had travelled long distances before such as from Edo to Kyoto in search of my father but I was glad that this time I would have companions. I probably couldn't say I was comfortable around Kazama yet but I knew he wouldn't try to hurt me or kidnap me on this trip because of Amagiri's protection and Sen's orders.

Once Shiranui had returned and the fire was going properly, I did the same thing as last night and scratched some coals away from the fire. I let them sit on the pan to cook through once I'd seasoned them with herbs and salt and the smell was making my mouth water. I didn't know how much longer I could wait until I died from starvation.

'Don't ever do that again.' It was Kazama who'd spoken, finally, after hours of silent brooding. His tone wasn't necessarily harsh but I could hear that he wasn't pleased. I had known his scolding would have to happen at some point and a part of me was relieved when he finally spoke. As terrifying as he was when he was telling me off, it was nothing compared to the agony of his silence. I bit my lip. 'I'm sorry.' I murmured. As I predicted, he didn't find that a valid response. 'I don't care if you're sorry. I'm aware your prone to being reckless but can you refrain from putting your life in danger in my presence, especially because I promised that wench nothing would happen to you.' He chided. I lowered my eyes from his even though he wasn't looking at me. He was staring deep into the flames of the fire with a slight frown on his face. I sighed. 'I just couldn't let that boy get hurt.' I said feebly. As soon as the words left my mouth I knew he wasn't going to listen to any of my excuses no matter how noble they were. He wasn't particularly known for his charitable actions towards humans so there was no way a statement like that was going to ease his irritation. 'And if _you_ got hurt? Then what? Your life is far more precious than those filthy pests'.' He retorted. He finally looked up at me and I shuddered at the exasperation in his eyes. I didn't want to respond because what I would end up saying would make the situation so much worse, so I stayed silent instead. He seemed to have expected that anyway because he didn't press the issue any longer.

I tended to the vegetables as they cooked, trying to ignore Kazama's glare. He seemed irked that I'd endangered my life for a human but his disapproval didn't surprise me in the least. He would never understand that not all humans were greedy and weak. In fact, I knew so many who were kind, gentle and caring and had helped my father and I when we'd lived in Edo. I'd spent my days with my father caring for those who were sick and injured and I'd seen a strength in them that showed me exactly how resilient they could be. My life was worth just as much as theirs.

No one spoke until the food was ready.

When it had finished cooking I started to plate it up. I tried to split it evenly between the 3 men and then gave myself less because I was smaller than them and because they'd paid for it. It felt a little odd to have Kazama buy my food but I should have known that's what he'd do anyway, if only because of his pride. I handed a plate of food to Shiranui and he leaned over to take it from me. 'Thanks.' He said, plucking some chopsticks out from his bag on the way back to his seat. Amagiri took his plate from me with a thanks as well and I handed him his chopsticks. He gave me a small bow and I blushed. It wasn't unusual for Amagiri to treat me so respectfully but it still felt odd. I was entirely unused to being referred to as Chizuru-sama and being bowed to but I guessed that stemmed from being the head of the Yukimura clan, not that there was much of a clan left to be the head of. I didn't even know what it meant to be a clan leader. When I looked at Kazama, I thought about what kind of duties he had. I already knew producing a pureblood heir was one of them since he'd voiced that numerous times. But did he have to do normal things like attend meetings and collect tax from his people? Did they even do that there? I frowned as I plated up Kazama's food. The only way to find out would be to ask and I wasn't quite game enough to pose such questions to him yet.

Once again Kazama made no effort to get up and come to me so I was forced to go to him. I got up off the grass in front of the fire and moved around to him on the other side. 'Here.' I murmured, placing the plate down in front of him. He just watched me as I got up and moved back to my place on the other side of him. I scraped the last of the vegetables onto my plate, sighing as I realised I'd finally be able to eat. One more second and I would have wasted away to nothing.

'I've thought of your punishment.'

The suddenness of his voice made me jump and when I looked up I realised he was staring straight back at me. I blinked a few times before responding. 'My… my _what_?' I clarified. I noticed most of the anger in his face had been replaced by a smirk which made me even more uneasy. 'Your punishment. Do you have any idea how inconvenient it was having to save you? It's your fault I broke that man's wrist too.' He said matter-of-factly. I cringed as I reflected on the sound of his bones breaking. I hadn't been the one to tell him to do that so I didn't think I deserve to be punished for it. 'A punishment? But I didn't do anything wrong. I just…'

'Enough. This is what you get for being a nuisance on this trip when you promised you wouldn't be.' He said. I gulped at his words, picking up my chopsticks and my plate. 'I don't think I deserve a punishment though. That's a bit harsh.' I said quietly. I had no idea what he would do to me but he silenced my next words by a sharp look. 'Just come here, you disobedient woman.' He ordered. I grit my teeth at his insult and didn't move. When I looked at Amagiri and Shiranui, they just looked curious. I was the only one who was fearful but I had a right to be. For a while Kazama and I just glared at each other, before he sighed. 'Fine.'

When he appeared in front of me, the shock made me drop my food. He caught it effortlessly and I noticed he'd brought his plate as well. He placed both dishes down in front of me. 'Feed me.' He said simply. I gasped in surprise. Was he serious? This was my punishment? Now that I was no longer scared of his request, I pouted at him. 'What? I am not feeding you.' I said, turning my body away to face the fire. I went to pick up my plate but he snatched it off the grass. 'You will.' He warned. As he went to toss our plates into the fire, I reacted. 'Kazama-san! What are you doing?' I cried, going to grab the plates but he kept them out of my reach. How could he even joke about wasting food? That was one of the worst things you could do, especially during a war. _Especially_ because I'd cooked that for him! His expression hardened. 'I'll eat only if you feed me.' He finally said. I shook my head in disbelief. 'If you don't eat it then it will go to waste.'

'Then feed me.'

I looked away from his eyes, going red. 'We're in a war and you would waste food?' I muttered. I couldn't believe he was going to make me do this. He really had no shame. I sighed as contentment came over his face. 'Since I didn't get that kiss you promised, you do still owe me for taking you with me.' He said curtly. I blushed, not brave enough to look at Shiranui and Amagiri. I didn't know if they knew that I'd originally promised to kiss him if he took me to Ezo but I suspected Amagiri was aware of it. Sen probably spent the rest of that night fuming in bed next to him.

I finally sighed. 'Fine. But this is the only time this will happen. Ever.' I promised. To that he said nothing and I picked up his chopsticks.

'No.' He said. When I regarded him in shock he had a crooked smile on his face. 'What do you mean _no_? You just asked me to feed you!' I said, exasperated. His eyes were twinkling now and all scraps of his previous irritation had disappeared. He was playing with me and he knew exactly what would press my buttons. 'Use your fingers.'

I heard Amagiri audibly sigh. Shiranui was failing to contain himself against the tree. When I finally looked at them I could see his grin, stretched from ear to ear. I screwed my face up. 'I am not feeding you with my fingers.' I said. He raised an eyebrow at me and I went even redder. 'Let's just hurry up and get this over and done with.' I muttered. I used his chopsticks to pick up a chuck of carrot and I raised it slightly to his face but he turned his head away like a fussy child. I slumped my shoulders. 'Honestly...' I sighed, defeated. I could see why Sen got so annoyed around him.

I picked up the piece of carrot with my fingers, wincing as I realised what I was about to do. I'd never forgive him for making me do something so humiliating. This would be a long, agonising trip with him as company but I guess I'd already known that. Kazama turned back to me as he saw me pick up the food. 'Good girl.' He said patronisingly. I shot him as much of a displeased look as I could before raising it to his lips. He obediently opened his mouth and took it with his teeth. He maintained eye contact the whole time and my muscles tightened as I felt his lips enclose around my fingertips. A weird sensation gripped my gut as I watched his pupils constrict like an animals', the red fibres in his eyes beginning to glow. He may have been able to control his facial expressions but his predatory eyes told me exactly how he felt.

Humiliated, I looked down at his plate of food. So much to go.

'Hurry, it's getting cold.' Kazama instructed as he saw me hesitate. Biting my lip to resist snapping at him, I fed him some more. With each piece of food he stared unrelentingly into my eyes and each time I felt a jolt of electricity shoot through my body at the feeling of his lips against my fingers. They were so soft. I couldn't believe I'd been a second from kissing those lips just a few nights ago. When I went to grab another bit of food, he took his opportunity to speak. 'Even something as bland as pan-fried vegetables tastes delectable when you feed them to me.' He purred. I went red, having no retort to that. My brain was practically mush at this point and it was only made worse by my own hunger. He smirked as I didn't respond. 'I would eat anything if it was served by your fin…'

I shoved a chunk of potato into his mouth to silence him and he recoiled a little as he almost choked on it. He swallowed the potato, coughing a few times, and wasted no time in glaring up at me. He should have been angry but he didn't quite appear to be despite the heat in his eyes. He was maybe a little…impressed.

Shiranui finally started laughing. When I looked in his direction I saw Amagiri seemed amused as well. Whether that was because I'd almost made Kazama inhale a potato chunk or whether the situation as a whole was entertaining, I didn't know. All I knew was that I'd rarely been so embarrassed in my life except maybe for when Kazama had seen me with the comb stuck in my hair at Sen's. That memory still made me shudder to this day.

After several agonising minutes, he had finally eaten everything on his plate. 'There.' I mumbled, snatching my own off the grass and shuffling away from him as soon as I could. I heard him chuckle, a sound that rumbled deep in his chest. 'That was indeed an enjoyable meal.' He purred. I completely ignored him and started to eat my own food. It was cold which was a little disappointing but it still tasted good. Kazama materialised back to where he'd previously been sitting, at the southern end of the fire and he stared into the flames with satisfaction plastered all over his face. He was so infuriating.

Once everyone including myself had finished, I took the plates from them and placed all the dirty dishes in the sac they'd come from. I was relieved that I was one step closer to bed but I couldn't leave dirty dishes sitting overnight. 'I'm going to wash these.' I declared. I watched as Kazama tilted his head slightly. Amagiri got up without a word and I knew he'd just been ordered to escort me.

Amagiri waited until I'd sorted myself out before he went to walk into the forest. I was relieved I was being freed from Kazama's presence for a while and even though I didn't know Amagiri particularly well yet, I still felt comfortable around him. I'd always gotten a peaceful vibe from him and I was glad it was he who Sen had chosen because I knew they'd make a good couple. They were both gentle, caring people who always tried to be respectful to others whether they were oni or human. I thought back to over a year ago when Sen had offered to bear Kazama's child. I had really not expected that because she hated him with a passion, but things would have turned out so differently if he had have agreed. She would already have birthed his child by now probably, so why had Kazama refused her offer? He had said she was not entirely pureblooded but was that all there had been to it? Sen had exclaimed she'd been grateful she hadn't needed to sleep with him and maybe Kazama also felt that such an act would be unbearable, even if it meant he could gain the child he'd been blabbering on about to me for the past 4 years.

I didn't know why I felt relieved though… relieved that he'd refused.

When we arrived at the creek I knelt down by the water. I could see my reflection on the surface, illuminated by the moonlight. Amagiri shifted behind me. 'Do you need some help?' He asked. I pulled myself out of my daze and shook my head. 'No, no. I can do it!' I asserted, embarrassed that he'd offered. I was determined to do all I could do on this journey and I refused to let them help me with something so simple. I scrubbed the dishes clean in the water, enjoying the peace. The crickets were chirping in the grass around us, the wind was whistling through the trees… it was a pleasant night.

After I'd washed a few plates and sat them on the grass to dry, I finally broke the silence. 'Amagiri-san, do you think it was wrong of me to save that boy?' I murmured. I didn't know if Amagiri liked or disliked humans as a species but I needed to know from someone other than Kazama whether or not my actions had indeed been reckless. His face remained tranquil as he spoke. 'I wouldn't say it was wrong, Chizuru-sama. You did what you thought was the right thing to do but I also understand why Kazama-sama got angry. It was not entirely your fault, as Shiranui was not as vigilant as he should have been, but I advise that from now on you insist at least one of us accompany you when you wish to go somewhere.' He said. His words had reassured me that I'd done the right thing but I realised now I hadn't gone about it the right way. I should have made Shiranui come with me but it stung a little to know I was so fragile. I wished I was like the men I was travelling with, capable and skilful. I'd had some training with a sword but my biggest disappointment was my lack of knowledge about my oni powers, although technically I couldn't be blamed for that. After all, I'd been raised as a human.

Once I'd finished all the dishes and placed them back into the sac, Amagiri gestured for us to leave. 'Come. It's getting late.' He said. He waited for me to be by his side before he began to walk. We entered the darkness of the forest and left the moonlight behind us, making our way through the thicket back to the campsite where my comfortable, warm futon was waiting for me. There was nothing I wanted more in that moment than to go to bed. I felt like I'd been depraved of sleep for three days.

When we got back it appeared as though the other two hadn't moved. Only Shiranui turned to look up at us as we stepped into the light of the fire but he didn't say anything as Amagiri sat down and as I put the dishes back into Kazama's saddlebag. It still felt improper being permitted to go through his bag like that but there really was nothing overly interesting in there. I flicked the flap shut and plucked my rolled up futon off the side of Yuki's saddle which had been strapped there for travel convenience. I patted her a few times before shifting over to the grass.

When I collapsed into my futon, I let out an audible sigh of relief. Day 3 was now over. How many more months of this were ahead of us? I didn't know but with each day I was closer and closer to Ezo. Closer and closer to the men of the Shinsengumi. I prayed they were all safe. When Kazama had asked me what I would do if they'd died, I'd tried not to think about it. The answer was that I didn't know. They were all I had now that my brother and my father were gone. I felt a hollow agony in my heart when I thought of their deaths but I refused to allow myself to dwell on such morbid thoughts right before bed.

I didn't even announce to the men that I was turning in for the night. When they saw me lay down and pull the blanket over myself it was pretty self-explanatory that I was going to sleep, so they left me.

I closed my heavy eyes. And sleep came soon after.


	9. Selfless sacrifice

**Selfless sacrifice**

 ** _Two weeks later…_**

It had been a while now since we'd started traveling. We had passed countless miles of forest and a few villages, stocking up on food and fresh water whenever we could. Today marked 14 days exactly since we first began the journey and the beautiful weather continued.

I was eating dried apricots on the back of Yuki, leaning backwards to stretch my spine out a little. For the most part Kazama had been bearable save for the few times he'd teased me or gotten irritated with my clumsiness. It felt weird to admit to myself that I had grown more comfortable around him. I no longer felt a continuous pressing need to be alone in order to recover from the intensity of his presence. I was also more at ease with Shiranui and Amagiri and I could see their behaviour had loosened up a little towards me as well. I was included more in conversation and they asked about more personal things like my childhood in Edo and what exactly I'd done in the Shinsengumi for 4 years. Kazama of course mostly listened to our conversations, only interjecting to add a snide remark or tell us to shut up because we were being too loud.

Lost in thought, I patted Yuki's rump as she walked. I had fallen in love with the horses, I'd realised. They were more intelligent than I'd given them credit for and very responsive to affection. When I took them for drinks down the river on Kazama's command I didn't even need to pull them along using their reins because they followed me willingly, like giant dogs. With Shiranui and Amagiri's permission I'd named the black one Yoru and the brown one Kuri, to reflect their colours. Kazama seemed less than impressed that I was naming the horses but he hadn't stopped me. It occurred to me that I still hadn't asked to ride Yuki myself. In fact, I didn't even know how to ride a horse. I hadn't paid much attention to what Kazama did to make them stop and go, mostly because I was normally so preoccupied with trying not to fall off. I bit my lip as I thought about asking Kazama to teach me. Would he? Something told me he wouldn't, mainly because he would get too frustrated. He didn't seem like a very good teacher and he lacked the patience to sit there and teach someone like me, especially because I was just so clumsy.

I continued to eat my apricots as we approached a bend in the path.

I looked up at the sky like I did every day, enjoying the rays of warmth that streamed through the breaks in the leaves. I loved spring; I loved the lazy heat and the drone of insects, but a part of me would always love winter more. The snow. I had been told the Yukimura village was located in the mountains where it snowed for many months of the year. When I'd learned that, it made sense to me why I'd always desired to live somewhere cold.

When I finally packed my apricots away, I brought up the courage to speak. 'Kazama-san…' I said quietly. 'What?' He answered almost instantly. I swung my legs a little, biting my lip. 'How do you ride a horse?'

I heard him sigh; the first indication that he was already frustrated with my lack of competence. He really wouldn't be a good teacher and I was already regretting my choice to ask him. 'Haven't you been paying attention to what I do?' He asked, but he didn't sound surprised. He was already fully aware of my tendency to not pay attention to what was going on around me. Embarrassed, I didn't answer him. Maybe I'd get Amagiri to tell me how to ride a horse later. I knew he wouldn't judge me. He might even let me ride Yoru! Comforted by my thoughts, I was getting ready to once again embrace silence when Kazama sighed once more. He pulled the reins softly and Yuki stopped. Swinging his leg over, he gracefully dismounted and landed gently on the dirt. Shiranui and Amagiri stopped as well and Kazama looked at them blankly. 'Go ahead. We will catch up soon.' He ordered. Amagiri looked at me and I smiled, letting him know it was ok. I'd learned that when Amagiri looked at me like that he was seeking permission. He was still bound by his promise to Sen to keep me safe and that promise overruled anything that Kazama ordered. If I told him at any point that I wasn't comfortable he wouldn't hesitate to remove me from the situation even if it went against Kazama's commands.

Shiranui shrugged and clicked his tongue at his horse. They started to go, and Amagiri left with him.

'Move forward.' I heard, and I turned down to look at Kazama. He already looked like he'd been trying to teach me unsuccessfully for hours. If there was one thing I'd learned whilst traveling with him it was that when he asked me to do something he wanted it done immediately. I did what he said and he mounted the horse as effortlessly as he descended. I felt the skin on my neck prickle as his body heat seared against my back. 'Stop spacing out and grab the reins.' He sighed. Going red, I did as he instructed but I couldn't get rid of the feeling in my stomach of him so close behind me. 'Press the inside of your legs against its side and it will move.' He directed. Grabbing the reins tighter, I squeezed my thighs against Yuki's side. I could feel her powerful muscles but I didn't get time to appreciate her strength because she started to walk. I giggled in the saddle, excited that she'd done what I wanted. I could feel Kazama's disinterest radiating from behind me but I was determined not to let his lack of enthusiasm ruin mine. Yuki walked steadily forward as I'd asked. 'To make it trot, squeeze your legs slightly harder and move forward in the saddle. If she doesn't, then click your tongue.'

I nodded in acknowledgement of his instructions, bracing myself for increased speed. I didn't have Kazama to hold onto if I was going to fall off, only the reins and the front of the saddle. Taking in a deep breath I did exactly what he'd asked. 'Come on, Yuki.' I encouraged. I wasn't prepared for her sudden movement and I bounced up and down in the saddle as she began to trot. I squealed as I started to slide off but a warm hand pressed itself against my side and pushed me upright again. I tensed as he touched me and he reached forward and grabbed the reins. He stopped her within seconds and I quickly adjusted myself in the seat. 'Relax your muscles and absorb the impact. And sit up straight.' He said, exasperated. I blushed, still trying to shake the feeling of his hands on my side and I got prepared to try again. 'Ok Yuki, go.' I said, squeezing my legs together and rolling my hips forward in the saddle in a gesture for her to move. I resisted the urge to tense as she started trotting again but was disheartened as I felt myself slipping. Kazama once again corrected me but he didn't stop the horse this time. 'Stop slouching.' He commanded. I straightened my back as he took his hand from my side. 'Relax your thighs. You're sending it mixed messages.' He ordered. I'd only been trying for 5 minutes and already he was making me feel like I was hopeless. I relaxed my legs and attempted to keep a straight back and I managed to stay on with minimal support from Kazama. Encouraged by my success, I began to grow used to rhythm of her trot.

It was as if Kazama knew I had grown comfortable and wanted to crush my confidence because he then ordered me to make her go faster. As I followed his next instruction, Yuki did exactly as I'd commanded and broke into a canter. This was obviously too much for me to handle because I instantly lost my balance. I squealed, leaning forward to brace myself as the jolting from her canter cause me to become unstable. 'Don't lean forward.' Kazama growled. I tried to sit up straight but my fear coupled with my lack of balance only made it worse. I felt myself slipping again but faster and Kazama's arm wrapped around my stomach, pulling me back hard against his chest before I fell. The feeling of his body against my back made my mind go blank for a moment. He was so warm, almost like he had a fever. He stopped the horse and let me go. 'I told you to keep your back straight.' He snapped. I bit my lip and went redder. 'Sorry.' I mumbled. 'It's just… more difficult than I thought.'

'It wouldn't be this difficult if you followed my instructions.' He retorted. I played with the reins awkwardly. 'Sorry.' I mumbled. He sighed, shifting back a little. 'Get off.' He ordered. I turned around to look at him desperately. 'But I want to keep trying!' I pleaded. His mouth twisted a little, just like it had when I'd begged him to let me look at the hair combs on our date on New Year's. For a moment he was silent. We were so close. I never thought I'd end up sitting like this on a horse with Kazama, especially as travel companions. And I never thought being so near to him could make my heart beat as fast as it was, like it was trying to escape my chest.

Eventually he gave up. 'Fine, but listen to what I say. I don't say it for fun.' He said dryly. I nodded, relieved that he was giving me another chance. I was resolute on not embarrassing myself anymore or making him angrier. 'Bring it to a trot.'

I did as he said, squeezing my legs against her and moving my hips forward in the saddle. 'Trot, Yuki.' I urged, and she did as I said. I fought the tensing in my body as she started to move. Going with the motions of her movement, I managed to not slide off her this time. However, I was still nervous about the canter. I could feel Kazama waiting for me to fail. Even though he sounded angry and frustrated, I knew he had expected this all along and that only made me feel even more eager to get it right. 'Canter!' I commanded. Yuki sped up a little and I let out a deep breath as I worked on keeping correct posture.

 _Don't slouch. Back straight. Legs relaxed._

I chanted his instructions in my mind, silently pleading with myself not to fall off or freak out. I noticed Shiranui and Amagiri appear in the distance and I grinned. So far I hadn't fallen off or lost my balance. Maybe I could catch up to them without incurring the further wrath of Kazama. I got closer and closer to the men, eventually close enough that I could speak and they'd hear me. 'Look! I did it!' I laughed as I cantered up behind them. Amagiri congratulated me and I pulled Yuki to a stop. 'Now you might have to take the lead.' Shiranui teased. I went red, and Kazama snorted. 'I could walk faster than this woman could ride.' He muttered. I sighed. As if I could ever expect praise from Kazama, or even a 'well done, you didn't kill yourself'.

He moved back slightly, letting me know it was time to swap positions. Satisfied with the progress of today's horse riding, I obliged.

However, when I slid down, I felt something approaching me from in front at a frightening speed. My skin flinched and I gasped, looking in the direction of where the force was coming from. What was that? And how could I feel it?

Just as I looked, I saw something whiz past my face.

Before I could even process what it was I felt an arm wrap around my side and pull me up. 'Get up! Get up!' Kazama commanded. He heaved me up behind him and Amagiri and Shiranui looked positively shocked. 'It's an ambush!' Kazama hissed. I realised then that the thing that had shot past me was an arrow. A few centimetres to the right and it would have pierced my face. I didn't have time to feel the adrenaline reach my limbs before Kazama had spun Yuki around. 'Let's go!' He growled and dug his heels into her side. She broke into a gallop, as did Yoru and Kuri at their riders' command. My heart was pounding as I clung onto Kazama. An ambush? From who?

Before I could think too hard about it, I heard the piercing cry of a horse enter my ears and Yuki's legs buckled underneath us. I shrieked as Kazama and I were thrown forward as her legs collapsed and the force with which I hit the ground would have been enough to break a human's spine. We both rolled for several metres before stopping and the next thing I saw was Yuki on her side, an arrow sticking out of her rump. Her eyes were rolling back in pain and her scream was all I could hear. I wanted to get up and run but I was half unconscious from the impact of hitting the ground.

'Chizuru!'

It was Kazama. He'd moved right there in front of me and he dragged me upwards. He was covered in dirt from the fall but he didn't seem as hurt at me. Still heavily concussed, I gripped onto his cape tightly to keep myself upright. I didn't have time to do anything else before he was hauling me up to Amagiri. 'Take her away. Now.' He barked, and Amagiri nodded. 'No.' I managed to whimper but my plea was interrupted by a gunshot. I looked in its direction, dazed. Shiranui had shot someone. I could already smell the blood but I couldn't feel shock or horror yet. My body was still numb. Kazama drew his sword, bloodlust ablaze in his ruby eyes.

And that's when I felt it. Another strong force, as quick as lightning. The closer it came the more dread I was filled with. But it wasn't aimed at me.

'Kazama-san!' I cried, tearing myself from Amagiri as I felt the arrow getting closer. I practically fell off Yoru and Kazama's eyes widened in surprise as I slammed my body against his. The force of it knocked him backwards, causing him to lose his footing. We fell back against the dirt and his arms encircled me as I landed hard on his chest.

But not before I felt something pierce my shoulder.

The first thing I noticed was the impact. It felt like I'd just been punched… no, worse. It was a force so strong it winded me and it was like nothing I'd felt before. But it didn't wind me enough to distract me from the agony. Nothing could have distracted me from the agony. The pain was so acute from the arrow in my shoulder that the scream that came from my mouth was completely involuntary. I screamed so loudly the earth seemed to shake and it silenced Yuki's cry, and the shouts of the men who had ambushed us. If I hadn't have been in so much pain I would have noticed everyone had turned to look at me in silence, even the enemies who had begun surrounding us.

The heat of my blood poured down my back, soaking Kazama's fingers which were gripping me in shock. I could feel him trembling, shaking underneath me in rage and through the haziness of agony I heard him say my name. When he tried to move me I couldn't help but scream again. He flinched as I did so but still moved me gently off his body and picked me up, passing me off to a new pair of hands. The sensation of being moved around was beyond torture. I felt my eyes roll back in my head, unable to even cradle the wound as I gasped for breath and I heard a male voice talk to me softly as I was carried away from the fight. He was holding me in his arms and the jolting from his movement caused white lights to dance behind my eyelids. His voice attempted to soothe me as I wailed, but I heard no words. I could only feel that arrow in my shoulder and the pain that festered in my body.

After what seemed like an eternity, I was placed face-first down onto something. I could smell earth.

'Chizuru-sama.' Amagiri said. I couldn't respond even if I had have heard him. 'Chizuru-sama.' He said again, a little more urgently. 'I have to stop the bleeding.'

I heard something tear, a piece of clothing and I tried to open my eyes but I couldn't. They were shut so tightly as a reflex to pain that I couldn't override it. I screamed again as I felt pressure on my shoulder, which only intensified the discomfort. I could feel the arrow shifting under my skin, aggravating layers and layers of muscle and causing me to writhe on the grass like a dying animal. Amagiri's voice continued to talk to me gently but I understood none of it. I just wanted to fall asleep, to escape what I was feeling. I would have given anything and everything in that moment to get rid of the unbearable pain I was in. I could feel drool trickling from my mouth and tears streaming from my eyes.

And that was the last thing I felt before my agony consumed me.

* * *

When a little bit of light crept into my vision, the first thing I saw was grass.

I instantly started to cry as the cold numbness inside of me faded and the pain returned full force. I felt a soft, warm hand press against my own. 'Chizuru.'

That deep rich voice.

I fought with myself to stay conscious. I squirmed pathetically, the tears creating streaks through the dirt on my face. I had my eyes open now but I could still barely see anything apart from blurs of colour. 'Chizuru.' He said again, but I couldn't do anything but weep. The shaking of my body as I sobbed caused the pain to flare up. My sob quickly turned into a weak cry and I felt his warm hand slide over my cheek. 'Can you hear me?' He asked. I could, but my body didn't want to listen to me. It only wanted to scream. 'Ka…' I managed to whimper, even the vibrations from my voice causing me pain. I heard him sigh. 'I have to pull the arrow out.'

Those words filled me with so much fear and dismay that I screwed my eyes shut once more.

'Amagiri.' Kazama said, almost tightly. After a second, I felt two hands hold me down.

'Nooooo…..' I moaned as I realised that they really were going to pull it out. I didn't think I could survive any more agony and the feeling of being held down just confirmed that even they knew it might be too much for me to deal with. 'I'll be quick.' He said. I didn't need to see anything to know when Kazama touched the arrow. The wave of agony that shot through my entire body and permeated my bones told me the exact moment that his hands made contact with it. I cried out, trying to kick my legs but Amagiri was holding them down. 'No!' I screamed, as I felt Kazama try to coax it from my flesh. The feeling was worse than when it had pierced me. The sensation of having something moving around inside my body like that was both horrifying and excruciating. 'Stop!' I begged in a long scream.

Suddenly I felt something stir inside of me, something I didn't understand. The feeling made my skin burn, my blood boil in my veins. I felt like something was trying to get out of me, something that had been locked away for a really long time. Panicking, I fought hard to subdue the feeling but the sensation of Kazama trying to dislodge the arrow from my flesh was making it really hard to concentrate. The barbs along the arrows length made it a million times worse and I could feel each one as it was eased out of my skin.

Finally, the last bit was torn from my shoulder and something inside me snapped.

I felt a powerful force burst from my body and the ground beneath me shook. When I opened my eyes, I saw a tornado of gold forming around the four of us, drawing in whatever loose material was on the ground. Dirt, leaves, rocks, sticks...everything. Even Kazama had to grab his sword before it got consumed by it. I noticed that it was dripping with blood. There wasn't an inch of silver left on his blade.

The tornado was pulling the power out of me and although it didn't hurt, the feeling was so alien that I screamed. As soon as the cry left my mouth, the strange whirlwind exploded outwards. The force of it tore all the leaves off the trees as far as I could see and for a split second the pain of my shoulder was masked by my fear. The sky was covered with loose leaves and dirt and it cast a foreboding dark shadow over us as it blocked the light of the sun.

Finally, the force died down and the air went still. I could see the leaves and dirt falling over us like rain and I went instantly limp. It wasn't quite relief that I felt when the bizarre feeling eased because I was still in so much pain. All I could do was pant against the dirt.

The 3 men were silent. I could hear their breathing, but they didn't speak. They were covered in dirt and leaves but they didn't seem to notice. What was that gold I saw? And how did the force of it spreading out tear all those leaves off the trees around us? Surely it hadn't been… me? Before I became once again too exhausted to think, I was reminded of the time when Sannan-san had tried to attack me when he drank the Ochimizu. I had seen a smaller version of that tornado which had thrown him back. Was that what I saw?

All of a sudden, soft hands pulled me forward and my cheek was lifted from the grass and onto something warm. I whimpered, shivering as the cold of shock froze my bones even though I was bathed in the heat of my own blood.

'Chizuru.' His voice sounded maybe a little confused. It was Kazama's lap that my head had been pulled onto but I was much too busy with trying to process what had just happened to feel embarrassed at his touch. My trembling hands clutched at the fabric at his sides and I felt his cape being placed on top of me, warm with his body heat. I closed my eyes and I let my body relax against him even though it was shuddering with agony.

Finally, I let the shadows pull me into a deep slumber.

* * *

 **Ending note**

The tornado I'm referring to in this chapter is the thing in the anime/movies that spins around Kazama when he shows Chizuru her true form and also when Chizuru gets attacked by Sannan-san in the first movie. In this story, I refer to them as 'force fields'. In the anime/movie all onis seem to have blue 'force fields' but in this story each oni has a different colour, and Chizuru's is gold. It was activated because of her pain and stress which is what happened when Sannan-san tried to attack her in the first Hakuoki movie. Also Yoru means 'night' and Kuri means 'chestnut' so that's where I got their names from.


	10. The power of the Yukimura clan

**The power of the Yukimura clan**

I saw the flicker of a fire from behind my closed eyelids.

As I regained my consciousness and the feeling returned to my limbs, I groaned. I tried to move but pain shot through me and left me breathless.

'Don't move.'

It was _his_ voice. I would recognise it anywhere.

I was still unable to open my eyes and my head was resting on something warm. I became aware of a pair of hands on my back. The heat was nice and he was careful not to hurt me as he dressed my wound. 'Kazama-san…'

'Don't talk either.' But his voice wasn't unkind. I finally opened my eyes and saw my head was again in his lap. My sleeves were covered with blood, which had dried to the colour of dark rust and the scent was sickening. Once the confusion of where I was had passed I became painfully aware of the agony in my shoulder. Although not as acute as when the arrow had still been inside me, it was by far the worst pain I'd felt in my life. Even breathing was almost too much to bear.

'Do you want some water?' I heard him sigh as he pulled a blanket up over my shoulders. He'd finished treating my wound. I swallowed, realising how dry my mouth and lips were. 'Yes.' I croaked. Amagiri brought over my flask and handed it to Kazama. It had been Amagiri that carried me into the forest and tried to stop my bleeding and the other two had wiped out the people who ambushed us. I didn't need to ask anyone to know that they were all dead. I remembered Kazama's sword, smothered in blood, and the way he'd quaked with fury underneath me when I'd fallen on top of him. He helped me guide the opening of the flask to my lips and I tried lifting my neck to swallow it but the pain was too intense. I consumed a little at a time with my head on the side, my cheek pressed to his thigh. The water was a relief as it hydrated my mouth and throat which was raw from screaming. He took it from me and screwed the lid back on when I was done.

Shiranui and Amagiri were sitting on the other side of the fire, looking at me. I remembered the way they'd looked at me in the forest when the dirt and leaves had rained down on us. Had I done _that_? I had enough power within me to strip hundreds of metres of trees bare? I recalled even the ground had shook briefly, like there was an earthquake. I wondered what else I was capable of doing and what I could do once I had learned how to use my abilities. Kazama had used his own force field to change me half into my oni form twice. Could he do that as well? Maybe it was normal. I hadn't really been educated on much about the powers of the Oni yet and I was positive there was lots I didn't know. It made me a little sad to think about my lack of knowledge but then again I _had_ believed I was human until I met Kazama. How long would I have gone on thinking I was human? What would I have done when I reached 50 and still looked no older than I was now? I shuddered as I thought about the possibility that I could have gone the rest of my life wondering what exactly I was, watching everyone around me die as I lived on. All these thoughts swirled within me but they were silenced quickly as my shoulder started to throb.

I winced and gripped Kazama's cape. The scent of crushed leaves and spice helped to dilute the stench of my own blood and it was such a comforting smell, like a memory. As I looked at my own arm, grasping at him desperately, I realised something. My bracelet was gone. I shot up, startling the 3 onis. I instantly cried out in pain and clutched my shoulder and Kazama looked at me furiously with wide eyes. 'What the hell are you doing?' He reprimanded. I barely heard what he said and once I'd recovered enough from the pain to speak, I immediately did so. 'My bracelet!' I spluttered, clutching my wrist. 'It's gone!' I could feel the tears behind my eyes. I couldn't lose the only souvenir of my childhood because it was the only clue I had to discovering more about my past. Kazama regarded my frantic expression before sighing. 'Lay back down. I took it off to clean it since it was covered in blood. It's in your bag.'

My panic quickly subsided and the adrenaline drained from my veins. I practically collapsed back onto his lap once I calmed down and he pulled the blanket back over me. 'Who would have thought, something like that could mean so much to you.' He mused. I swallowed, closing my eyes. Of course he wouldn't be able to understand why I was so attached to it. He who had grown up as an oni in his village, completely aware of his heritage. Whatever time I had with my parents in the Yukimura village I only remembered through dreams and they never really made sense anyway. The faces were always blurred, the voices distorted. This bracelet was the only solid proof of my life with my birth parents. 'Can you get it for me?' I requested timidly. I could feel him looking down at me. Amagiri appeared beside us and I heard the familiar clinking sound of my bracelet and I peered up to see Amagiri hand it to Kazama. It twinkled in the firelight. Red like blood.

'Give me your hand.' He demanded. I lifted it to let him place it on me and he took my hand in his. Despite all of his swordfighting, his hands were uncalloused. But then again, Kazama was an oni with fast healing like me. Any damage to his skin due to fighting would have healed before it appeared. He slid the bracelet around my wrist, his long and graceful fingers clipping it up again. When he did so, I got this weird feeling in my chest but it quickly passed when he let me go. I pulled it back down, close to my face. I was relieved I hadn't lost it because I would have definitely marched right back to where we'd been ambushed in an attempt to find it and it would not have been easy with my shoulder. I swallowed. 'Who were they? The people that ambushed us?' I croaked. Kazama sighed as I continued to talk but he answered my question. 'Petty thieves looking for some loot, that's all. They got what they deserved.' He muttered. His voice was tight.

He was silent for a while before he spoke again. 'Do you have many memories of your past?' He asked. His question caught me off-guard. It was rare to see Kazama show an interest in anything I had to say. I would have shaken my head, but I couldn't. 'No, I don't. Only a few things here and there. Like the snow and how ducks would fly in every winter. I remember that I had a white stuffed animal… a horse, I'm pretty sure. It's name was Yuki.' I said wistfully.

Kazama didn't speak.

As I relayed my memories, the events of the ambush flooded my mind. I remembered that Yuki had been injured. When I stirred violently, Kazama sighed again. 'The horse is alive.' He snapped before I got up for the second time. 'Honestly, you've just been shot by an arrow and you're worrying about petty things such as lost bracelets and injured horses.' He sounded beyond irritated. I stopped moving, glad I wouldn't have to get up again because it was painful. 'Is she ok?' I murmured. His lips hardened. 'Well, we can't ride it. It would be pointless to take it with us and we definitely can't sell it in that state. ' He said it so nonchalantly. I felt a stab of pain in the chest and the fact he was calling her an 'it' just made me feel even worse. 'Then where will she go?' I pressed. Kazama sighed. 'Where do you think?'

When I rose for the second time, I looked at him with displeasure. Amagiri and Shiranui were peering at us curiously, keen to hear what I would say. 'You're not going to kill her, are you?' I enquired distastefully. He frowned at me. 'I told you to stop moving around.'

'You _are_ going to kill her! What's wrong with you!?' I cried, wincing as my shoulder flared up. Kazama's eye twitched at my rhetorical question. I was so angry. If I hadn't have asked about Yuki before I'd fallen asleep again I may have woken up to her already gone. I couldn't believe him! He would kill an innocent animal? As I thought that, I realised that killing an animal would be nothing. He killed _people_ all the time. In his mind, humans and animals were no different to each other. I held his gaze as his expression hardened. 'She can barely walk. I'm not dragging her along behind us because you think she's your pet. Would you prefer instead that I leave her tied to a tree to starve to death? I'm being merciful.' He snapped. His words only angered me even more. I could feel the burning of angry tears behind my eyes. 'You can't just go around killing things because you don't find them valuable anymore. You're unbelievable.' I said incredulously. His lip twisted at my words and his eyes flashed.

When he didn't answer, I shook my head and stood up. 'And she's a _girl_. Not an it!'

I got up off the grass, gasping as the world spun around me. Once I'd gained my bearings I stormed over to where Yuki was in the cold, lying on her side. He hadn't even moved her close to heat or stopped her bleeding. Her wound was open and weeping and I was so livid and upset that I could feel tears in my eyes. To think I'd risked my life to save someone like him, someone who would treat an animal like this. Yuki's head turned towards me as I came close and I saw the build-up of moisture around her eyes. The sight broke my heart. I didn't need to know anything about animals to know she was in pain and had been for who knows how many hours. Walking over to the other two horses, I started fishing around in everyone's bags for a bandage, or rubbing alcohol, or something I could use to treat her injury. My shoulder was on fire but I pushed through the pain.

Shiranui and Amagiri looked on as I went through their bags, probably still shocked I'd spoken to Kazama like that and still had my head on my shoulders, but when I flicked Kazama's bag open he reacted instantly. 'What are you doing?' He growled. I spun around to face him. 'Finding a bandage to dress her wound since you wouldn't.' I snapped. When I turned back around to continue to go through his bag I saw a hand come out of nowhere and grab my wrist. Kazama pulled me away from the horse. 'You're being ridiculous. Go back over there and lay down.' He ordered. 'No!' I pouted, pushing him away with my good arm. He tensed up at my reaction. 'It's just a horse and you need to rest. The longer you take to heal, the longer it's going to be until we leave again.'

'In other words I'm burden, right?' I retorted. 'Why don't you kill me as well as the horse? That way you can get to Ezo even quicker!'

He clenched his fists, his mouth pressing into a hard line. 'As utterly incompetent as you are, I promised that I'd take you to Ezo with me even if I have to drag you kicking and screaming. So go and sit down before I take you back to the fire myself. You're acting like a child.' He snapped. The condescending tone of his voice coupled with my pain and distress made me even angrier. 'I'm not utterly incompetent! I just saved your life! You'd be laying in a pool of your own blood right now if it wasn't for me, so how about you take yourself back to the fire!'

I gasped as he grabbed my chin with his fingers, tilting my head up to look at him. He was so angry that for a second I felt my blood freeze. There was only one other man that could make an expression as terrifying as that and it was Hijikata. 'Don't you _ever_ speak to me like that again.' His voice was coated in venom. Even though I was scared, I was also angry too. I quelled the trembling in my limbs and looked him right in the eye, trying to conjure up a look even half as threatening as the one he was giving me. 'Or what? It's not like you'd do anything to me anyway. You're under some illusion that I'll give you children. Now let me go.' I spat, trying to pull his hand off me but it wouldn't budge. If I had have been human, the pressure of his fingers would have bruised my chin. His pupils were mere slits now. 'Watch your tongue, woman. It's painfully obvious you were raised amongst humans. Clearly you have no idea who you're speaking to.' He snarled. His eyes were sizzling and I clenched my fists defiantly. 'Do you have any idea who _you're_ speaking to? If I'm really as important as you keep telling me, then how about you stop calling me 'woman' and start calling me Chizuru!' I retorted. Kazama's spare hand came up and I winced. I prepared myself to get hit across the face, but it didn't come. Instead he slid his hand into my hair, albeit roughly. He yanked my head back to look into his eyes and the movement shot down my neck and into my shoulder, making me suck in a short breath.

'Kazama-sama…' Amagiri went to intervene, but I raised my hand to stop him. 'If he wants to act like a three year old then let him.' I said. Shiranui and Amagiri's mouths fell open but I didn't take my eyes off Kazama. He didn't like that at all. His hand tightened in my hair and his eyes were… actually glowing. They were like two orbs of fire. They seared straight into my brain but if I backed down now then it would convey that I had given up. I may have been timid and quiet, and perhaps a little naive, but I did have my own sense of pride and I would not stand for being treated like this.

For what felt like forever we stared at each other. It got harder and harder to maintain eye contact with him because his gaze was just so petrifying. I'd never felt so scared in my life but also never more determined. I couldn't let him treat me like dirt, especially after I'd saved his life. How ungrateful could he be?

Then I felt it again. That power inside of me, wanting to come out.

I flinched as my walls of determination started to break down from fear. I didn't want anything like what happened before to occur. I didn't want to feel like that again, not until I understood it better.

He watched as my look of stubbornness shifted to panic and he noticed the tears in my eyes. His expression changed a little to mirth. 'Are you going to cry?' He said, feigning concern. I clenched my jaw as he taunted me. 'If you apologise then I'll let you go. I wouldn't want you to shame yourself by crying in my presence like a _three year old_.' His anger was fading quickly as he saw the look on my face change, but it was replaced entirely by a sick sense of amusement. 'I won't cry!' I spat, but my voice wavered. His lips twisted as he heard the weakness in my voice and a full on smirk was now plastered on his face. 'Oh? That's not what your eyes are telling me.' He gripped me tighter, tilting my head up a little more. He really was an arsehole, just like how Sen said. I couldn't believe I had actually started to think he may have been a somewhat decent person. How could I have ever let myself think that? After four years of him being an absolute jerk, trying to kidnap me, killing the only two family members I had left and now treating me like this despite me saving his life, I was kicking myself for ever having doubted his malice.

'You really are useless.' He suddenly sighed. 'Now go and lay down before you hurt yourself even more. As fun as this is, it ends here.'

I felt the power right under my skin. Right there, but it didn't come out. Like it was waiting for permission. I took in a deep breath, ripples of heat washing over me. I thought of the story Sen told me, about the use of blood for healing. I could feel something in my blood, like fire, and I wondered if this was how my father felt before he used his powers. It was almost begging me to let it come out, to show him I wasn't useless. It's whispers echoed in my head, in my ears, and I became so consumed by the sensation that I was trembling.

'I'm not useless.' I spat once more. With my good arm I pulled his katana from the sheath at his hip. He was so stunned for a moment that he loosened his grip on my hair, enough for me to swat his hand away from me. After fixing him with as much of a crippling glare as I could manage, I gripped the blade of his sword with right hand.

'What are you…?' He started to say, raising his hands to pull it away from me. I slid my hands down the blade before he could interrupt, slicing my palm open so deeply I almost cried out. I didn't have much time to process the pain because I was almost instantly blinded by a golden light. The men's mouths fell open as my blood was blazed white-gold, trickling down the length of Kazama's sword and dripping onto the ground. It was scorching hot and it almost burned the skin around my wound as it trickled out of me. The vibrancy of its glow was akin to the light emanating from the fire.

Without another moment of hesitation, I pressed it to the wound as Yuki's side.

The air seemed to shift as my skin made contact with hers. I could feel the tendrils of power within me, bounding down my arm and pouring out in my blood. I let the power escape me willingly and I grit my teeth as I fought hard to remain conscious. I had never done this before but for some reason I knew what to do. The pain of my shoulder and hand coupled with the pressure from the 3 men watching me caused my mind to falter and maybe if I had have been less angry my attempt to use my powers would have failed. But I'd never been more determined to prove anyone wrong in my life.

I wasn't incompetent and I wasn't useless.

I didn't take my hand off her even as I felt my energy fading. The light emanating from my blood bathed my face in a soft glow and I watched in awe as Yuki's flesh started to knit together. No one spoke as the sides of her wound closed and the thin line where her skin had come together blazed white hot. Before the gold in my blood had faded I reached back and slid the hand over my shoulder blade. I whimpered in agony as my muscles twisted and I tore the bandages off my back that Kazama had put there. When I finally pressed my hand against the wound, the heat from my blood almost seared my skin off. It trickled inside the deep cut and into my raw flesh and it was incredibly painful. I gasped in breath and fell to my knees as I felt my injured skin twist and turn, trying to join together again. I forced the last bit of power I could manage into my palm, willing the wound to hurry up and close before I passed out.

Finally, I felt the hole in my shoulder sew itself together. When I slid my fingers over it, the skin was flat and smooth. The pain was gone.

None of them had moved a single centimetre since I'd drawn Kazama's katana. Even though I was on the ground panting and shaking, they were too stunned to speak. If I hadn't have been so tired I would have reacted the same as they had anyway. It took everything I had not to lose consciousness then and there.

Hauling myself to my feet, I picked up Kazama's katana and slid his sword back into its sheath as he stood there motionless. I looked at him dead in the eye, folding my arms as I struggled to calm my breathing down. I was absolutely exhausted and sweat was beginning to form on my face. Now that I could no longer feel the power under my skin, my body felt like it had gone a week without sleep and not even the excitement bubbling inside me over what had transpired could keep me conscious for much longer. I couldn't believe I'd really done it. I'd really used my powers. I was so happy and relieved that I wanted to cry. I wasn't even angry Kazama anymore, not in the slightest. But I still glared at him like I was. 'That's three things you need to thank me for now. Saving your life, mending your horse and healing myself so we can leave tomorrow morning.' I said breathlessly, holding up my hand to his face as I used my fingers to count. The gash on my palm closed right before his eyes and my blood evaporated into thin air. Tiny golden sparks fell down from the wound as it shut.

Without even stopping to see what kind of face he made, I staggered over to my futon and collapsed on my knees. A groan escaped my mouth as I face-planted into my pillow. I didn't even move my face to the side. I couldn't care less that my nose was being squished and drool was trickling from my mouth. Even though I was dressed in clothes covered in blood, sweat and dirt, I'd never been more eager to sleep.

As soon as I was able to relax my body, I swiftly lost consciousness.

* * *

 **Ending note**

In case you didn't get it from the 'Secrets' chapter (Chapter 2), the power of the Yukimuras lies in their blood. Chizuru was able to activate this power due to her anger and stress much like how she activated her force field in the previous chapter but because a lot more energy was required, she is left feeling considerably drained. More about the powers and whatnot will be explained in turn in later chapters so don't fret 3


	11. Snatched from Oblivion

_No, Chizuru did not suddenly turn 7 haha :D This is a flashback chapter._

* * *

 **Snatched from Oblivion**

I could _feel_ him. He was here, in the village.

After almost a year since the ceremony, I couldn't quell the excitement as I realised he'd finally come back. Every night I'd been lulled to sleep by the strong beat of his heart in my bracelet.

It was late at night, long past my bedtime. Kaoru was sleeping beside me and snoring softly. The moonlight streamed in through the glass of our window and bled silver over everything in the room.

I crawled out of bed, careful not to wake my twin brother and crept over to the door. I slid it open just a little, flinching as I saw a maid walk briskly past my room. She was holding blankets. In fact, when I closed my eyes and concentrated, I could feel the energy in our estate. Everyone was bustling around which was unusual at this time of the night. But I didn't really care what was going on. All I wanted to do was see that man again.

Once the maid was well and truly gone I slipped outside my room and into the hallway. I was quiet as I snuck to the end of the corridor and down the stone stairs. I could feel his presence tugging me closer, letting me know where he was. He was in the North wing where the guest rooms were and I winced as I realised I'd have to pass through almost the entire Yukimura mansion to get there. I prayed I wouldn't get caught.

A voice suddenly caught my attention. 'Kobaru-sama is with him now but he looks unlikely to survive the night. He was so pale, and unconscious. I hope that he…' The maid's voice trailed off as she walked further away from me. I frowned. My father was with someone? That would explain why the atmosphere of the estate was so stressed. My father often had visitors arrive begging for him to cure all sorts of things. He was amazing.

I continued down another long hallway, biting my lip as the cold of the stone floor started to freeze my feet. The man's presence was beginning to get stronger and I clutched the bracelet around my wrist. I was confused on why my parents hadn't told me he was coming. Maybe it was meant to be a surprise?

As I rounded the corner, I ran headfirst into a maid. She let out a little cry but her face softened as she recognised me. 'Chizuru-sama, what are you doing? It's way past your bedtime!' She chirped. I stared at her in silence, fretting that I'd been discovered. I thought about whether or not I should tell her what I was doing but I decided to tell the truth. Father had taught me that lying was bad. 'I'm going to see Kazama-sama.' I said. I watched with confusion as her face fell. 'Uh…' She fought for words for a few short seconds, before her face regained its composure. 'You can see him tomorrow. He's tired from his trip. You wouldn't want to disturb him now, would you?' She asked. I looked down at my feet, disappointed. It was true; I didn't want to disturb him but I also knew I couldn't wait until tomorrow. I just wanted to catch a glimpse of him, at least. I was eager to see the gold of his hair again. Such a pretty colour.

She went to turn me around to take me back to my room but I shook her off me. 'It's ok. I won't disturb him, I promise!' I said, dodging past her to continue my journey. She watched me leave in disbelief, debating whether or not she should stop me. But she didn't.

I walked a little faster now before someone else got in my way. I was sure he would want to see me too and at least say hi before he went to bed. The closer I got to the North wing, the busier it got. I could hear voices all around me but I hadn't seen anyone yet. I could hear snippets of conversation echoing through the halls.

'…very ill…'

'...won't stop bleeding…'

'…skin is so pale…'

I'd never seen the estate react like this to the arrival of a sick person before. They must have been important or maybe even a friend of my father. Just as I went to push open the doors leading to the North wing I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. Spinning around, my mother was staring at me disapprovingly with her jade green eyes. 'And what do you think you're doing?' She asked. I pouted, upset that I'd been busted. I didn't answer her and she sighed. 'It's very late and you should already be asleep, Chizuru. What would your father say?' She prompted. I made an annoyed sound. 'But Mother, I want to see him before I go to sleep.' I whined, and she frowned a little. 'See who?' She questioned. 'Kazama-sama!' I cried earnestly. Mother just sighed again. 'You can see him tomorrow. Honestly, you're too perceptive for your own good. How did you know he was here?'

I fidgeted with the cord on my sleeping robe. 'I could feel him.' I murmured. Mother looked at me for a little longer without speaking. She seemed pensive, like she was pondering something. Just as I was about to ask again if I could see him she took my hand in hers. 'You can see him tomorrow, ok?' I felt my shoulders slouch and she laughed as she saw it. 'Who would have thought that my little Chizuru would be so excited to see a boy! Don't you remember when you were younger and you used to squeal and run away from them when they came near?'

That managed to get a smile from me, but I was still saddened as she pulled me away from the North wing door. 'I was only going to look at him.' I mumbled, stomping loudly behind her in defiance. She rolled her eyes. 'You can look at him all you want in the morning. Now stop that stomping.'

I did as she asked and let her tug me back through the mansion.

Another maid jogged past us holding a dish of bandages and she stopped and bowed as she saw us. My mother inclined her head in acknowledgement and once she was gone, I looked up at her. 'Who is Father treating?' I asked. Mother didn't answer straight away. She led me into the South wing, where our bedchambers were. 'A friend of your father's. You needn't worry though, he's in capable hands.'

I nodded. 'Father is very powerful, isn't he?' I asked. Mother laughed at my question. 'He is. And when you're older, you and Kaoru will be exactly like him. That's why you need to get as much sleep as possible because you can't help anyone if you're tired!' She chuckled.

Kaoru and I… like Father? The thought was inconceivable to me. Could Kaoru and I heal people together?

Mother opened the door to my room. 'Go on.' She urged. I hopped inside and got into bed and she kissed my cheek. Kaoru was still fast sleep, unaware that I'd even left his side. 'I'll see you in the morning. I love you.' She whispered, stroking my cheek before parting from me. 'I love you too, Mother.' I whispered back.

Blowing me a kiss, she shut the door and left me once more in the darkness of my room.

* * *

I rolled over for the thousandth time that night.

It had been hours since Mother had said goodnight to me and the moon had continued its course through the night sky. It no longer shone through the window. The room was black.

The buzz of people moving around had ceased and I presumed everyone had gone to bed. Clutching the bracelet with my hand, I screwed my eyes shut. I wanted to go to sleep too so when I woke up I could see that man again. He had looked so serious on the day of our betrothal ceremony but I had sensed a tenderness on the inside that I presumed most people hadn't noticed. Father said he worked hard to protect the ones he loved and that he would work just as hard to protect me as well when I became his bride. Something told me that many things had happened to him. Sad things.

 _Thump… thump… thump…_

Each night for almost a year that sound had soothed me to sleep. I wondered if he held his pendant too sometimes and thought about what I was doing at that moment.

As I mulled over my thoughts, I felt an irregular beat in the bracelet. Opening my eyes again, I looked at it curiously. The irregular beat continued for a little while, perplexing me, until it slowed right down.

 _Thump…..thump…._

It wasn't the normal peaceful beat of relaxation or sleep. I sat up in my bed, stunned.

The heartbeat grew slower and slower and fear filled my chest. My own heart pounded beneath my rib cage. What should I do? Mother had told me to stay in my room. I didn't want her getting angry at me but I couldn't sit here and not know what was happening. Whatever punishment I received would be worth seeing what was happening. Without another second of delay, I sprung from my bed and slid open the door to my room. The hall was dark. The patter of my footsteps resonated over the stone walls as I made my way through the South wing. I never let go of my bracelet, the feeling of dread festering in my chest as his heart refused to speed up again. It was dull too. I had to clutch the sun charm twice as hard just to feel it pulse.

I opened up the doors leading out of the South wing, peeking in to make sure no one was there. Everything was dark and still. I couldn't even hear the sound of the wind outside. I made my way through the large library where Mother, Father, Kaoru and I often spent time in. It was here that we were taught our lessons; how to read and write, the history of our clan and the stories of the human wars. The very thought of humans made me shudder. I'd never seen a real human before, but the stories made them seem like bloodthirsty monsters. Whenever Father treated a human I was kept far away from the North wing.

I walked out of the other side of the room and into another hallway. The beating of his heart slowed down yet again.

Suddenly it all made sense to me and I was stopped dead in my tracks. Everyone's weird behaviour, their refusal to let me see him and why everyone was so restless... Kazama was the one who had been injured. I replayed the voice in my head, the ones I'd heard echoing through the mansion. They said he might not survive. That he wouldn't stop bleeding. Why hadn't my Mother told me he was hurt? Why had they all tried to make me go back to bed?

I pushed aside my anger and concern and broke into a run, not caring anymore if anyone heard me. I wouldn't let them stop me even if I was found. I hadn't quite learned how to use my powers yet, not even my lesser Oni abilities, but if I needed to punch someone instead to make them get out of my way then I would.

But no one stopped me.

Bursting through the door to the North wing, the exact place I'd been stopped last time, I ran to the first room and opened the door. It was empty. I had no idea where he was but I knew he was here. Somewhere here. I opened up the next door, and the next one, but there was still no golden haired oni inside.

I came to the third last door and I pushed it open tentatively.

My heart stopped as I saw him lying on the bed, so pale I could almost see through his skin. I walked in slowly, closing the door behind me and I edged closer to his side. The fire was going so the room was warm but when I pressed my hand softly to his forehead he was deathly cold. My lip trembled as I held my bracelet again. His heart was beating feebly now, the shadow of death across his face. Where was Father? Why was he not trying to help him?

I picked up his hand in my own, holding it to my chest. His skin was sticky with cold sweat. 'Kazama-sama?' I whispered pleadingly. He reacted in no way to my voice. Not even a flinch. I crawled onto the bed beside him and pressed my warm hand once more to his forehead. 'Kazama-sama? Please wake up.' I implored, my voice small and fragile. Once again I got no reaction and I looked down at his chest which was covered by a blanket. There was blood on it and the sight made my skin crawl. Peeling it back, I saw that he was only wearing pants. His chest was completely bare save for the heap of bandages that were wrapped around his torso. They were soaked through with his blood. I covered my mouth in horror, feeling the bile rise to my throat. I'd seen blood before of course, but never this much. I needed to change the dressings. Father had taught me a little so far in medicine, the basics, but it was pretty self explanatory that soaked bandages were no good. I reached into the basket of medical supplies located beside the bed that the last person had used to treat him and I pulled out a fresh roll of bandages. Placing it in my lap, I rolled up the sleeves of my sleeping robe and pushed my hair back behind my ears.

The stench of blood and flesh was sickening. It filled my nose as I pulled his dressings off and I almost dry retched as my hands became wet with his blood. Despite my disgust, I worked quickly. The sooner I dressed his wounds again the better. Dumping the soaked bandages on the floor beside me, I picked up a fresh towel and began to wipe the blood off his chest. I gasped as I finally saw his wound.

The slit of a sword, straight through his heart.

I pressed my hand to it, tears stinging my eyes. My father's voice rang through my ears from half a year ago after an oni man died in our estate after failed treatment.

 _All the body's organs can be treated, Chizuru, if you reach them in time. But a blade through the heart is the only thing that even I'm not guaranteed to be able to treat._

I pressed my hand harder to the wound, my own heart breaking as his faltered beneath my palm. The first tear escaped my eyes. He was about to die in front of me.

No sooner had that thought entered my mind, his heart stopped.

In that moment time seemed to freeze. My tears hit his chest one after the other, mingling with his blood. 'No!' I begged, shaking his shoulders a little. I watched in horror as he still didn't awaken. I shook my head furiously, refusing to believe it. 'Kazama-sama!' My voice broke as I called his name. As I saw the last breath escape his lips, something inside me surged.

A scorching heat.

I clutched my arms and gasped for breath as it threatened to tear me open. The tears continued to stream down my face as I looked down at his paling frame, the cold fingers of death plucking his soul from his body and dragging it towards oblivion. I could feel the last of his life essence leaving him.

I cried out as the burning in my blood intensified. I screwed my eyes shut, trying not to scream as I felt like I was being burned alive. I wanted to cry out to my parents, to anyone, but I couldn't speak. Digging my fingers into my flesh in desperation I opened my eyes once more. The thrashing of whatever was trying to come out of me was becoming unbearable and my fingernails pierced the skin of my arms. The sudden relief I felt was instant. The blood dripping from the crescent cuts my nails had made in my skin was blinding gold. Just like my father's.

It was in the moment I knew exactly what I had to do.

I sunk my teeth as hard as I could into my palm, ignoring the pain and the taste of my own blood as my teeth burst through my flesh. Gold dripped from my lips as I bit through my skin and it was so hot that I almost had to stop. I felt like my flesh was going to blister but I couldn't deny the relief I felt as it poured from my palm. The power coiled inside me had finally found a means to escape through the lesions in my skin and wasting no time, I moved my hand to the wound on his chest. As our skin connected I felt the air implode, the floor shake.

The reaction of my blood against his wound was immediate.

I bit my lip to stop myself from crying out as I felt all of my energy pour into him. I gave it away willingly, determined not to stop until I felt his heart beat once more, even if I had to die in his place.

My determination was interrupted by surprise as I saw my hair begin to float around my shoulders. It changed from dark brown to platinum white and I felt fangs form in my mouth and horns sprout from my head. If I hadn't have been so distraught by the whole situation, I would have been overcome with joy at my first transformation. Mother told me it wouldn't be for a few more years. As I blinked my eyes to clear the fogginess, I noticed everything was so much clearer. I could see things I'd never noticed before, like the particles of dust floating in the air and the tiny beads of sweat on Kazama's face. I didn't have much time to enjoy my newfound senses however, because my energy was fading fast.

I inwardly rejoiced as I saw the wound on his chest was closing but his heart hadn't started to beat yet. Gold tendrils of light began to whip around me like a tornado, getting gradually bigger and bigger until it was strong enough to sweep up anything and everything that wasn't tied down. The noise was almost deafening as vases slammed into walls, chairs were torn from the places on the floor and the glass window smashed into a thousand pieces. But I still didn't stop. I still had energy left to give him and I was going to give it all.

Finally, he drew in a gasp of air, his body jerking violently as his soul was returned to its place in his chest. His eyes snapped open, a beautiful gold with a neon orange hue, but he was still completely unconscious. 'Kazama-sama!' I squealed in joy. His eyes rolled promptly back into his head as he let out a soft groan. I couldn't believe I had done it!

The tornado died down and I flinched as the pieces of glass and furniture were dumped onto the stone floor. I pulled my hand off his chest as his heart started to beat strongly once more. The paleness of his skin was replaced by an ethereal glow, exactly like it had been when I'd seen him for the first time, and a faint blush of pink was dusted over his cheeks. When I pressed my hand to his forehead he was warm again. I couldn't stop more tears flowing from my eyes as I looked down at him. I didn't want to think about what would have happened if I hadn't have been strong enough and I held my bracelet and grinned as his heartbeat pulsed with full fervour in my grasp.

When my excitement dissipated, the adrenaline left my body and was replaced by a crushing sense of exhaustion. Almost instantly the colour drained from my vision and I realised I'd reverted back to my human form. I noticed there was blood dripping from my mouth and eyes and I touched it cautiously, finally feeling to faint to stay upright. I fell forward as my eyes rolled back into my head.

An arm caught me. 'Chizuru?' My father's voice was bewildered. I'd never heard him sound like that. I tried to speak but my words came out slurred and incoherent. I saw a small crowd of people at the door, their bottom jaws almost touching the floor. I wondered how long they'd been standing there for and how much they'd seen.

'Kobaru-sama…. Your daughter… she…' squeaked a maid standing in the doorway. She was as pale as a ghost. I watched the scene play out without moving or speaking. I couldn't do anything but feel the blood drip from the corner of my mouth. My father's arm was the only thing keeping me upright. He pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly as he wiped the blood away. 'I know.' He said. 'She just brought him back from the dead.'

The dead? Of course I'd known his heart and breathing had stopped, but… had I really brought someone back to life? I'd never heard of such a thing before.

'Back from the dead? Surely that's not possible!' Another voice interrupted. He was dressed in dark red, the colour of the Kazama clan representatives. His mahogany eyes were so wide I thought they were going to pop out of his head. Father was still staring down at me in shock. 'Well… that's what we all thought...' He trailed off and I tried to speak but just another slur of words came out. Father hugged me tighter. 'Shh… it's ok. Don't talk, my darling.' He cooed. I finally shut my eyes, calm enough to go to sleep. I felt him pass me on to someone else. My Mother. I could smell her earthy scent, feel her raven black hair tickling my cheek. 'I'll watch over her.' She said tenderly to my father. 'You look after Chikage-sama. Make sure her efforts don't go to waste.'

Holding the sun emblem of my bracelet lazily in my hands and rejoicing in the heartbeats I felt, I finally slipped into a week-long, dreamless sleep.


	12. Power hierarchy

**Power hierarchy**

I felt the grogginess even before I opened my eyes.

I could hear the sound of birds chirping and the faint rustling of the wind through the trees. The noises were so peaceful that I was almost lulled back to sleep, until the scenes of last night's dream flooded into my mind.

For many minutes I just lay in my futon, too stunned too move. I had saved that man. I had used my powers as a child and I'd brought him back from the dead. I remembered what happened when I'd woken up from my exhaustion, too. I had been asleep for an entire week and bedridden for another, barely able to move. I'd been so close to death that the whole village had already gone into grieving and when I'd finally recovered, the celebration festival lasted three whole days and nights. Word had already gotten out about what had happened, spreading even to other clans, but my father had told those in the village to say that _he'd_ been the one to bring that man back from the dead if people came wanting clarification. By keeping my power a secret he was protecting me from those who might want to take advantage of it. The ability to resurrect the dead was not a power that belonged in this world.

So that's why Sen told me my father had brought back someone from the dead. Even she had been told it was him instead of me. Did she know the man that I saved then?

My heart was pounding in my chest as I replayed the memories over and over again. The use of my powers last night had most likely triggered this memory to resurface and as I reflected on yesterday's events, I remembered what had happened. Before I could get too excited about my powers I remembered my argument with Kazama too. I'd been so angry and had said things that he would definitely still be fuming over right now. He was probably around me somewhere waiting for me to awaken so he could chastise me and I would probably receive another mortifying punishment. The thought of Kazama being angry at me made me shudder in my futon. How would I face him today after all the things I'd said? Where had all that attitude come from?

As I went to roll over onto my other side, I groaned as my head throbbed. When I opened one of my eyes slightly I could see Amagiri already coming over to me. 'Chizuru-sama.' He said, concern evident in his tone. I opened my eyes a little wider, blinking as the light blinded me. For a second everything went white and a horrid pain jabbed my brain. I hissed in discomfort and I heard him kneel beside me. 'Chizuru-sama, how are you feeling?' He asked. I took in a deep breath, forming the words before I spoke them so I wouldn't slur. 'Umm… fine.' I mumbled. I felt like I could sleep another hundred years but I wasn't in pain anymore so I _was_ fine, better than I was yesterday at least.

'Do you want some water?' He asked me. I finally managed to drag myself upright, sucking in a few deep breaths and trying not to throw up. 'Uh… no thanks, Amagiri-san.' I mumbled. The blood in my clothes and on my skin flaked off as I moved and I smelt like I'd died and started to rot. I was covered in my own sweat and blood and my shirt was practically in tatters. Kazama obviously hadn't thought about whether or not I wanted to wear this shirt again when he'd hacked the back open to treat my wound but I guess I wouldn't have been able to wear it again anyway. There was no way all this blood was coming out.

'There's still some rice left over from lunch. It's probably a good idea that you eat, at least.' He insisted. I got onto my hands and knees and then I finally stood up. I looked down at Amagiri in panic when what he'd said registered in my brain. 'Wait, did you say lunch?' I asked. He nodded, a little confused. I sighed. I had slept in past noon! I'd even told Kazama that we would be able to leave this morning! Looking around I couldn't see him or Shiranui. 'Where are the others?' I asked as I collapsed down in front of the fire, reaching for the spare rice. I was starving. 'Kazama-sama went to bathe and Shiranui is collecting more firewood. We're staying here until tomorrow morning so you can replenish your energy. Feel free to settle down again and rest.' Amagiri said. This only made my shoulders slouch more. Even after what I said last night, Kazama was still making sure I didn't exhaust myself. He must have felt like he was taking care of a child. 'Is he… angry?' I asked timidly. Amagiri chuckled, sitting back down by the fire in front of me. 'Don't worry, Chizuru-sama. He's fine.'

I shoved the first spoonful of rice into my mouth and swallowed almost without chewing. His constant glares and incessant brooding would be sure to make the next few days a living Hell.

The rice wasn't quite cooked properly but I ate it gratefully, glad to have something already prepared so I didn't have to cook. When I was finished I placed my bowl in the empty pot of rice. 'Where are the horses?' I inquired when I noticed I couldn't see them anywhere. I wanted to inspect the place where Yuki had been wounded to prove to myself that I really had healed her. Amagiri threw the last bit of wood on the fire. 'Kazama-sama took them with him for a drink.' He said. Yet another one of my tasks he was doing. First they were cooking and now they were taking care of the horses! I was dreading the moment he walked back through those trees.

My stomach dropped when I heard the sound of footsteps but it was only Shiranui. 'You're awake.' He exclaimed as he dropped the firewood down beside Amagiri. 'You were so deeply asleep you didn't even flinch when Kazama picked you up and moved you.' He noted. I went red, looking back at my futon. I hadn't even realised it had been moved closer to the fire and a little more south, near where Kazama had been sleeping. Shiranui chuckled at my blush. 'He stayed awake all night making sure you wouldn't die on us.'

He'd stayed awake all night to look after me? Urgh, that made it a million times worse. Here I had been last night gloating about how I wasn't useless and he'd spent the last half a day taking care of me like a baby!

Amagiri sighed. 'You were understandably very exhausted. I'm guessing that was the first time you used your clan power?' He asked. I frowned, looking down at my lap. Splotches of blood covered my thighs. 'Well...' I murmured.

'You're lucky you didn't kill yourself.' A velvety voice interrupted my sentence and I turned automatically to look at Kazama tying the horses up to their trees. He was dressed in his pants and shirt, with the top buttons undone and his cape and vest swung over his shoulder. His feet were bare and his hair was still wet. The sight made my toes curl a little. I didn't respond to his comment and I went red, looking away. He was already unbearable. Just him being there was torture, _especially_ looking like that. I refused to accept that my heart had tripled its pace because of his presence. Surely I had more dignity than to allow him to affect me like this!

Kazama sat down in front of the fire once he was done securing the horses, combing his fingers through his hair. My stomach tightened as I saw the water drip from his skin. 'If you don't learn to control your powers they will drain the life from you. They're not inexhaustible and you're not skilled enough to use them like that. Especially because you've never used them before.' He said after a long period of silence. He didn't sound angry but he hadn't looked at me yet. That was a bad sign, I decided. 'I don't know how to control them.' I mumbled, almost to myself. Kazama's facial expression turned sour. 'Well, that was made clear to us all last night when you refused to wake up even though I was shaking you. I thought your heart was going to stop beating.' Now he was beginning to sound angry but I bit my lip and remained silent. It would be better for the moment if I didn't speak. I didn't want to stir him up if I said something he didn't like but I shivered a little at what he'd said. Did I really almost die? Like I did the very first time I used my powers?

After several minutes of silence and after Shiranui and Amagiri had resumed their tasks, I raised from the grass. I couldn't spend another minute around him or in these horrid clothes. I felt disgusting and was embarrassed that I looked and smelt like I did. 'I'm going to bathe.' I said simply as I went to exit the clearing. Kazama's voice stopped me. 'And then what? Get changed back into those clothes?'

I flinched. Of course, I had no change of clothes. I stood there for a good minute thinking of what I was going to do before I heard Kazama sigh. 'You can wear my yukata until you get some more. It's in my bag.' He said. I went tomato red, my humiliation made even worse due to the fact his suggestion was my only option unless I wanted to come back wearing nothing. Snatching his yukata and my toiletries from his and my bags, I walked into the forest without another glance at him. I could just imagine the smug look he'd give me when I returned dressed in his clothing. I shook my head as I pushed past a collection of dense shrubs and walked deeper into the forest.

I hadn't been walking for very long before Amagiri appeared in front of me. I squealed and jumped back, clutching my chest in fright. 'Amagiri-san.' I panted. 'I'm sorry, Chizuru-sama, but I've been instructed to lead you to the pool. Which is this way.' He said, pointing to the right. I blushed, following him as he started to walk. Of course Kazama had told him to guide me. He'd known as soon as I started walking that I wouldn't know where it was. It seemed like even after what I did last night he still thought I was useless. Nothing would ever change.

We finally broke through the last of the thicket and I saw a small clearing in front of me. There was a waterfall pouring into a deep pool, edged with flat grey stone. It was beautiful. 'If you're not back within an hour I'll come and get you.' Amagiri said. I smiled at him, knowing he meant that I'd get lost. 'Thanks.'

He disappeared right before me, the speed from his exit creating a mini whirlwind on the ground.

As soon as he was gone, I got prepared to bathe.

* * *

I looked down at his yukata with distaste. I really didn't want to wear it but there was no way I would put my old clothes back on again. I picked it up off the ground and it unravelled. The fabric was heavy and I could already tell it was too big for my slender frame. It smelt so agonisingly like him that I had to grimace. How was I supposed to concentrate with his scent fogging up my brain? Who knew how long it would be until I got new clothes! I slipped it on over my shoulders and wrapped it around me. It touched the ground as I stood and I secured it around me using the red strip of cloth I used to tie my kodachi around my waist. The end of his sleeves went just past my hands and the fabric seemed to cling to me. I pressed my toiletries closer to my chest to hide the shape of my breasts and picked up the bottom of his yukata so it wouldn't drag in the dirt.

I groaned aloud and finally started to walk back to the campsite.

I'd only been walking for less than 5 minutes when Amagiri appeared again. It didn't scare me like it did last time because I'd expected he'd come find me since I'd been gone for an hour but my heart still raced a little at the surprise. 'The campsite is this way.' He said, obviously amused as he pointed in the opposite direction I was walking in. I smiled, shaking my head. 'I'm really not good with this directions thing.' I sighed. He chuckled warmly as he walked beside me. 'Sen told me you weren't. She was worried you'd get lost on your way to Ezo if you travelled by yourself.'

I laughed. I missed Sen already. The sound of her singing while she cooked, the echo of our laughter and how we would chat for hours after dinner about anything and everything. I was so excited to tell her about the use of my powers but I hoped I'd be able to use them a lot more before I returned. I at least wanted to learn how to use my oni speed because that had always intrigued me. I turned slightly to Amagiri. 'Amagiri-san… do you know how I could learn more about my powers? About how to use them… and stuff…' I trailed off. He looked like he was thinking hard about it. Scratching his chin, he sighed thoughtfully. 'You could try asking Kazama-sama? In the Kazama village he helps coach the younglings on how to use their clan power.' He said. I raised an eyebrow. 'Kazama-san?' I asked. I couldn't imagine him being very patient with children. Amagiri chuckled. 'He may seem impatient but he's a very good teacher.' He assured me. If how he taught me to ride horses was how he would teach me to use my powers I could see it would be a painful experience. But then again, I had learned in the end.

Our conversation died down as I started to see the campsite.

As soon as I emerged back into the sunlight I put my things away in my bag and pulled out my brush. Kazama was still sitting by the fire and he'd done up his buttons and put on his shoes, vest and cape. I noticed that the black of his clothes contrasted so well with his blond hair and red eyes. My life would have been so much easier if he wasn't so attractive.

I sat down in front of the fire to brush and dry my hair and Amagiri went to sit down underneath a tree. My body seized up as I felt Kazama look up at me. He didn't say anything but there was no denying that he liked what he saw. The heat from his gaze was cooking me. Trying hard to prevent a blush from entering my cheeks, I continued to brush my hair.

Suddenly he sighed. 'I guess I do owe you thanks.' He said. Everyone looked at him, stunned, but no one was more surprised than me. My hands froze mid-brush. He looked completely unaffected by our gazes. 'You did save my life, heal the horse and also yourself. So thank you.' He said. I raked his face for any signs of sarcasm or jest but I found none. He looked back down passively, leaving us all gawking at him. I'd never heard him say thanks and evidently neither had Shiranui and Amagiri and they'd known him for years longer than I had. 'You're… welcome.' I murmured, shifting on the grass. 'I suppose I should thank you too for looking after me last night.'

He looked up at me in acknowledgement, giving me a crooked smile. His alluring eyes were twinkling. 'And for letting you lend my yukata.' He added playfully. I went red. 'And that.' I muttered. He chuckled. 'Who knew the sight of you in my clothing could put me into such a good mood. You may look even better in my yukata than I do.' He purred. My cheeks sizzled as he leaned back on one arm, looking at me with so much seduction in his half-lidded eyes that my breath caught in my throat. I turned away from him quickly, attempting to hide my red cheeks and he only chuckled again. 'And because you're so noisy I couldn't help but hear what you and Amagiri were talking about. I'd be willing to help teach you more about your powers and how to use them but you have to promise me you won't go doing whatever you did last night. You're nowhere near ready for that and in fact, you shouldn't have even been able to do it at all.'

My heart skipped a beat and I gaped at him. 'You'll teach me?' I squeaked, ignoring the rest of his lecture. He sighed in reaction to my surprise. 'I will.' He said. I was overcome with joy at his agreement. 'Can you teach me how to use my oni speed?' I requested, edging closer to him a little. He looked at me with blank eyes for long time, the way he always did when he didn't feel like conveying emotion. I was envious he could control himself like that. 'No.' He said simply. My heart fell and I slumped my shoulders. He regarded me with a deadpan expression as he noticed my disappointment. 'There's a certain order you have to learn these things in and the clan power you used last night is supposed to come last. That's why you lost so much energy. The first thing I will teach you is how to change into your oni form and the rest will follow.' He sighed. I clasped my hands and beamed at him, my cheeks pink from excitement. 'You'll really teach me?' I squealed. He just looked at me like I was an idiot for being so eager but I ignored him. I couldn't wait for when I could do what they could do. Maybe then I wouldn't be such a burden. 'Can you teach me now?' I asked desperately, getting up to move closer to him. He frowned at my approach but his eyes were stern. 'You're in no shape to try anything at the moment. Today you will rest but what I _will_ do is tell you bit more about our abilities since you lack even basic knowledge of them. Now stop bouncing around.' He sounded just as exhausted as he had when he'd started to teach me how to ride a horse. I did as he said, trying desperately to hide my grin. He sighed like he couldn't understand why I was excited. 'Now listen up. I don't want to have to repeat myself unnecessarily because you've zoned out.'

I nodded enthusiastically and he picked a stick up off the ground, drawing a triangle in the dirt. I watched curiously as he separated it into three sections. 'This is the representation of the power hierarchy.' He said. I had no idea what that was and I regarded him quizzically. 'Power hierarchy?' I questioned. I bit my lip as he shot a look my way, telling me to shut up because he was about to explain it. 'Down the bottom are what we call the lesser powers. These are the ones all onis have, such as oni speed and increased strength. Others include telepathic communication through touch, the ability to conjure force fields and fast healing.' Before he could continue, I interjected once more. 'Telepathic communication? Do you mean like psychic powers?' I spluttered. I had never heard of that one. Kazama put down his stick, accepting that I would never just stay silent and listen to him. 'We can communicate memories and thoughts to one or more onis through touch. Honestly, that wench has known you for years and yet you know not even the basics. What on earth has she been doing all this time? Hopeless.' He muttered, rubbing his temples. I didn't need to ask for clarification on who he called a wench. I knew it was Sen. I blushed and he continued without prompting. 'When we link our minds we can share whatever information we want whether that be memories, sights, smells or feelings. In experienced onis and between mates they can even delve deeper to explore the heart and soul of the person they're connected with. Before I teach you how to use this power you'll need to work on your ability to concentrate so when you finally do link minds with someone, your entire life doesn't spill into their head.'

I bubbled with excitement. I had psychic powers? How had Sen not told me any of this? Kazama had been right about that, at least. I'd known her all this time and yet she hadn't shared any of this with me. 'Anyway.' Kazama resumed. 'The section above that one is for the middle powers. These powers are different for all onis and it's a single ability present from birth that is completely random. They can have an offensive or defensive purpose and can come in varying levels of strength. In rare cases, an oni's middle power can be a clan power from another clan but this can only occur if their parents were from two different clans. I've only ever met two onis with this ability.'

He waited a few more seconds before he carried on with the explanation. 'The last section is titled the higher power, which is the clan power. Only those born from the main line of the clan leaders have full access to these powers. The other members of the village have much weaker versions of the clan power and some don't have any. There are 9 clans in total, each who possess a different ability. The Shinobi clan is the head clan and that wench is its clan leader. It is considered the most powerful and possesses a highly trained branch of warriors who are trained from birth to serve as royal bodyguards. Kimigiku is one such bodyguard.' He said. I nodded slowly as I processed what he'd told me. My head was spinning from everything he'd said but I was still hungry for information. 'Were my parents both from the Yukimura clan?' I asked him quietly. He shook his head and I could sense him analysing the shock on my face. 'Your mother was from the Midori clan, located near the southern rainforests. They have the ability to control and communicate with most aspects of nature, such as plant and animal life. In addition to this, your mother could also shapeshift into any animal form she wished. The Midori clan is considered the third most powerful clan after the Shinobi and Yume clans.'

I was a little bit stunned at what he'd told me. 'Could my mother really do all that?' I gasped. He regarded me solemnly, a little like the way Sen looked at me when I'd asked for my parents' names. I thought I saw a little bit of pity in his eyes but he answered my question nonetheless. 'Yes, she could.' He stopped talking then, letting me know he was done with his explanations. He gave it time to sink in. Did he mean that my mother could talk to animals? And what did he mean by control nature?

Suddenly another topic caught my attention. 'How do I find out my middle power?' I asked. He erased the triangle he'd drawn in the dirt. 'You can't. You wait until it shows itself to you but it will likely take many decades.' He replied. I pouted in thought, pressing my finger to my lip and narrowing my eyes. 'What's your clan power?' I asked Kazama curiously. His eyes snapped up to look at me like he'd been waiting for the question his whole life. I watched his expression turn haughty and for a second I thought he wasn't going to answer. 'Let's see if you can guess before we reach Ezo.' He said, his smirk inviting me to accept the challenge. I frowned at him, displeased. 'You won't tell me? Then what about your middle power?' I asked, frowning. It was kind of unfair how he expected me to guess something like that. He grinned. 'If you guess my clan power I'll give you a clue regarding my middle power. But only then.' He said. I sighed, tired already of his little game. How on earth was I supposed to guess either of those?

I looked at my hands in my lap, deciding not to answer him. There was no way I'd be able to guess it and now that he knew I would be watching him for clues he would make sure he wouldn't accidentally use it in front of me. 'So the first thing I'll learn is how to change forms.' I said quietly, mostly to myself. He sighed. 'Don't get ahead of yourself. I won't teach you until you've fully recovered.' He warned. I bit my lip, looking up at him timidly. 'Then… can you show me how _you_ do it?' I felt awkward asking him to change into his oni form in front of me. I'd only seen it once before when he'd fought with Hijikata but the feeling I'd gotten when I'd looked at him was like nothing I'd ever felt. Even though he'd been kind of scary in his anger, seeing him in that form had sparked something inside of me I never thought I could feel.

Kazama recoiled a little in shock like he was almost offended I'd asked him. I immediately averted my gaze, regretting that I'd requested something like that from him. 'Doesn't matter.' I murmured, going red. He was silent and it was getting awkward. Why did I ask him something like that? I didn't even know why I wanted to see it again so badly.

Before I could ponder anything else I heard him sigh. 'Fine. I guess I can fulfil this request since you saved my life.' He said. I gaped at him as he gave in to my wish. Not only was I stunned that he'd actually agreed but I was also excited. My heart was pounding like it already knew what effect the sight of him in his oni form would have on me. 'But make sure you're looking, because I don't do this often. Consider yourself privileged.'

After he'd made sure I'd heard, he closed his eyes.

Almost as soon as his lids shut, his hair and clothes began to float. His cape fluttered softly like a gentle wind was blowing through the campsite and even the fire in front of us was reacting to the power from his transformation. I gasped as the roots of his hair became white, spreading out from his scalp until it reached the tips. It was like moonlight and it glowed like it too. His ears became pointed and four horns sprouted from his head, as pale as ivory. I felt time slow down as I watched him, his skin growing paler and paler until it glowed white just like his hair. I was so much closer than I'd been to him when he fought Hijikata and I could see every detail of his features. There was not a single blemish on his skin, not a mark.

He was otherworldly.

Suddenly, his hair and clothes settled and the world grew still. When he slowly opened his eyes I was rendered speechless. They were strikingly beautiful. His black pupils were like two perfect ink drops on paper, nestled among the volcanic orange-gold of his irises. I could see their white-hot imprint burned into my vision even when I shut my eyes, the same effect I got when I stared at the sun then looked away.

He grinned at me when he saw the expression on my face, flashing his perfect white fangs. The sight of them made my throat go dry and I wondered what it would feel like if he bit me. Something told me it would feel good. 'What's the matter?' He purred. I swallowed as I heard his voice. It seemed to have an undertone to it that hadn't existed before, a deep rumble that I could feel in my bones. Even the birds in the trees had been silenced and the horses were looking this way. I could feel the power radiating from him, a hum in the air that electrified my skin. There was no denying he was an oni and a powerful one at that.

I couldn't even flinch as he reached for my face with a clawed hand, taking my chin in his fingers. My lips parted as he touched me and I relished in the feeling of his skin on mine. He was still just as warm as usual. 'I like this expression on your face.' He breathed. I could feel my resolve melting quickly and I did nothing as he pulled my face closer to his. My body felt so weak. His eyes pierced deeper into me than usual, their luminous glow dusting his eyelashes with gold light and I felt them delving deep into my soul. I'd never, ever experienced this level of captivation before. In this form he was almost irresistible to me.

Before he could do anything else my hands automatically lifted themselves to his face. His eyes widened as I touched him but he let me. I glazed my fingertips over his cheek bones and slowly up to his forehead, in awe of how soft his skin was. Almost tentatively I slid my thumbs around the base of his horns, intrigued by where they came out from his head. He flinched visibly as I traced them and drew in a slight breath as his pupils grew wider and wider until they were like two pools of black. I'd never seen pupils do that so rapidly and the sight mesmerised me. I caressed them with my fingertips and watched curiously as his eyes started to roll back into his head, remarking that I'd never seen him make a face like that before.

When I slid my fingers up to the very end of his horns, feeling their sharp tips, he finally managed to speak albeit with difficulty. 'What are you doing?' He said through clenched teeth but he had put no anger into his voice. He kind of sounded as if he was struggling to control himself and like he'd just wanted to sit there and let me continue. When I showed no signs of replying, he sighed. 'You don't even know what touching me like this means.' He slid his hands around my wrist and plucked my hands off his face which disappointed me more than I cared to admit. As soon as the contact between us was severed his pupils constricted to their normal size and I watched the strain on his face disappear almost instantly. I couldn't help but feel a little disheartened as I saw him revert back to his human form. His horns sunk bank into his forehead, his hair turned back to blond and the delicate claws on his hands sheathed themselves back to a normal length.

I blinked a few times as his hold on me was broken. When I pulled myself from my daze and refocused my vision he was already looking at me with such a satisfied look on his face that I couldn't help but turn bright red. I turned completely away from him, pressing my hands to my hot cheeks and he chuckled haughtily. 'Don't worry too much about it. It won't be the last time you look at me with such desire in your eyes.' His voice interrupted my thoughts. I cringed at his words. 'I didn't look at you… like that.' I retorted. He appeared amused that I was denying it. 'Is that so?' He teased. I crossed my arms angrily. 'Yes that's so.' My heart was still going a million miles an hour and I couldn't get the image of his eyes of out my head. I'd never, ever seen a colour as beautiful as that before; it had been like I'd been staring directly into the core of the sun. He smirked as he noticed I was still having trouble calming myself. 'When we are back in my village and wed, I will gladly stay in that form for the rest of our days if it would please you so. Especially if it means you won't be able to keep your hands off me.' He chortled, cocking his head to one side as he anticipated my reaction. I grit my teeth, hating how his words perturbed me so easily and it was made worse by the fact I knew my behaviour _had_ stemmed from desire. I was so embarrassed and had no reply to his comment. 'I'm going to bed.' I grumbled, getting up and stalking over to my futon.

He let me go, deciding for the moment that his ego had been sated but his eyes didn't leave me until I'd buried myself under my blankets. I was delirious from seeing him in his oni form and my skin felt like it was on fire. He'd been even more beautiful than I remembered, more beautiful than any man I'd seen in my life. I'd never be able to look at him the same again after tonight and it took everything I had not to tremble as I lay there in my futon trying to calm my pounding heart. The attraction I felt to him was much too intense to simply be lust. It was like my very soul was drawn to him.

After a whole 20 minutes of desperately attempting to calm myself, I finally managed to get my heart rate back to normal and eventually the fatigue of the day's events caught up to me.

At long last, I fell into deep, undisturbed sleep.


	13. Trust

**NyaPowa** \- Thanks for reviewing my work again :) I understand you're a little confused about the betrothal thing so I'll clarify it a bit for you and the other readers if they're confused too, hopefully without spoiling anything too drastic! So the tokens that Chikage and Chizuru have ONLY work when they are both worn at the same time (as it says in chapter 1). Chikage is not wearing his token so Chizuru's bracelet doesn't beat. Chikage is well aware that it was Chizuru who he was engaged to in the past (he hasn't lost his memories haha) but why he refuses to tell her about their engagement will be revealed in later chapters. As for his resurrection, Chikage was stabbed and died (as you read in chapter 11) and Chizuru's power managed to bring him back from the dead. Why he was stabbed and by whom, you will also find out later. You're right about the clothing thing haha, but in my mind she was trying to save space. Maybe I'll make her buy a second outfit, that would be a good idea :3 As for why Sen didn't tell Chizuru about her powers and what not, it boils down to a mix of things that will be explained later as well. There's only more secrets to come…. *gasp*.This will be a long story, so there will be lots of suspense, but rest assured all your questions will hopefully be answered eventually haha :D

 **Cassiel** \- Haha merci :D Je suis super heureuse que tu continues de lire et aimer mon histoire. Je n'aime pas laisser longtemps entre les chapitres parce que c'est mechant et je suis desolee et pas desolee en meme temps pour avoir occupé ta matinee avec mon histoire. Ca veut dire que tu l'aime bien et je suis contente. T'inquiete pas, on decouvra la verite en ce qui concerne les cornes bientot! Merci encore :D

* * *

 **Trust**

I clung tightly to Kazama as we rode down the dirt path.

We had been riding for a long time now and my arse and legs felt bruised all over. There was not an inch of my body that wasn't in pain and it wasn't helped by the fact that I was still a little tired from the use of my clan power two days ago.

Kazama had said that we needed to arrive at the next village by nightfall and it was already getting pretty dark. I blamed myself partially because if I hadn't have been so tired then we would have arrived hours ago. I could tell he was displeased because if he was late then that would reflect badly upon him and that was something his pride wouldn't allow. I didn't know much apart from he was going there to meet with some humans about something. He hadn't told me the details, either believing I was too stupid to understand them or he thought it was something I didn't need to know. Either way it didn't bother me as I wouldn't be expected to attend. He said I would have to wait outside while the three of them tended to their business. It was better like that anyway as politics bored me and it would give me some time to myself.

The relief I felt was instant when he finally pulled Yuki to a stop.

I screwed up my face in pain as I plucked myself off his back, tugging the cord around my waist to tighten his yukata against my body. That was another thing we had to do before he went to his meeting; find me some new clothes. I couldn't stand another minute wearing his clothing as the expression on his face every time he looked at me made me want to throw something at him.

The horses were panting and I patted Yuki's rump. 'Good girl.' I cooed. Kazama turned to Amagiri and Shiranui who had also just stopped their horses. 'There's a creek a little to the East. We will take the horses there for a drink and then continue.' He said. They nodded, and Kazama made Yuki resume walking. The other two men followed suit. 'Will we make it in time?' I asked, but I kept my eyes averted from the back of his head. Even though he couldn't see me or I him, I still couldn't bring myself to look in his direction because of last night. The memory of him in his Oni form plagued my brain as did the look he gave me when he'd reverted.

 _It won't be the last time you look at me with such desire in your eyes._

I pouted. As if I would look at him with desire. There was no way any woman who knew what he was really like would desire him. I couldn't help but blush though when I thought about the feeling of his horns on my fingertips. They were so smooth, like marble. My hands had had a mind of their own. It occurred to me then that he hadn't answered my question. I frowned, looking up at him to repeat it but he was already fixing me with an irritated stare. 'Did you hear me?' He asked. I looked away from his molten eyes. 'Uh… no.' I mumbled. He sighed, turning back to the front and releasing me from his gaze. 'I said we will make it if we hurry. I then asked you if you needed to rest and turned around to find you spacing out as usual.' He said curtly. My panicked brain was a mess as he repeated his question. 'Uh… I guess I'm fine.' I said.

'You guess?'

'I mean I am.' I said quickly. He just sighed, and we continued along the dirt path to the small creek. 'Don't push yourself. I don't need you being more of an inconvenience than you already are. Drink some water.' He commanded. I wasn't thirsty in the least but I was forced to oblige. I pulled my flask from my bag and swallowed a mouthful. I was aware he knew if I didn't regain my energy then I would drag everyone down and it stung to know that what he had said in Sen's house was coming true, that I would slow them down. I was determined not to let myself hinder their progress any longer but I couldn't help but feel a little upset. I was only tired because I'd saved his life. He _had_ thanked me but I felt like he still thought I was useless. Indeed I had used my clan power but it wasn't like I could control it. I was back to being basically a human. I couldn't wait for when I could use my abilities like they could but that day seemed so far away and all I could do now was rely on the others to protect me. Would I have to wait long to be able to change into my oni form? And would I look like Kazama? I thought about the long, sharp nails on his hands and the golden fire in his eyes. I'd never known a man could be so beautiful.

'Woman!' I heard a sharp voice interrupt my thoughts and I realised he was glaring at me again. I went red. 'Huh?' I stammered. He frowned at me. 'I asked you a question. What are you thinking about that has you so preoccupied?' He interrogated. I bit my lip, refusing to look him in the eye. 'Uh… nothing.' I mumbled. He grunted. 'That's not surprising in the least.'

I lowered my head as his words hurt me. He was in a particularly bad mood today and I felt like it was all my fault. Suddenly he sighed and his face softened just a little. 'I asked you if you wanted to try riding again. Just until we get to the creek.' He said a little gentler. My face lit up and all my disappointment disappeared. 'Really?' I asked. He took my reaction as my answer and instantly dismounted. I moved forward in my seat, already familiar with the routine of switching places. He slid effortlessly behind me and once again the feeling of him against my back made my skin prickle. When he spoke, his rich voice made me grip the reins tighter. 'Let's go.' Without hesitation I made Yuki walk and we promptly caught up to the others. I'd never expected he would let me try riding again. Maybe he was tired? It was weird to think of Kazama being tired since he seemed to always be in full vigour but we _had_ been riding for hours. I felt his body relax behind me. 'What _were_ you thinking about?' He asked suddenly. I blushed, looking down at the reins in my hands. 'Just about the things you told me last night. About our abilities.' I said quietly. I felt him grow smug behind me. 'You're not still thinking about seeing my oni form are you?' He goaded. I stiffened in my seat, going bright red. 'No.' I said defensively.

 _Dammit_. How could he read my mind like that?

He just chuckled haughtily behind me and I pressed my lips together in frustration.

We finally made it to the creek and the horses were only too eager to drink. Kazama and I dismounted Yuki and I instantly collapsed against a tree. My legs hurt from being parted for so long and my back was killing me. Kazama seemed utterly unphased. He walked over to the creek to fill up his water bottle and I blushed as I realised he was filling up mine as well.

'Argh, it feels good to get off that horse.' Shiranui moaned, stretching upwards. Amagiri came and sit down a few metres from me. He leaned back against a tree, taking a swig from his flask. When he screwed the lid back on, I couldn't help but ask him a question. 'What's your clan's power?' I asked. He didn't seem phased that I'd asked him, like he'd expected it sooner or later. 'Our clan possess higher levels of endurance, strength and invulnerability.' He said. Unlike Kazama, I didn't need to prompt him for more information. 'My clan for hundreds of years has been one of warriors. My eldest brother is the current leader; no sword can pierce his flesh.' He said. I made an impressed sound. 'So he's invincible?' I gasped. Amagiri smiled. 'More or less.'

I turned back to look at my feet. So the Amagiri clan had higher skill levels than other clans. A group of natural warriors, just like the Shinsengumi.

Shiranui came over curiously as he heard the conversation. 'Aren't you going to ask about mine?' He said, like he was disappointed in the lack of attention. I smiled. 'Sorry, what's your clan's power?' I asked. He looked at me smugly even though it had been him that requested I ask. 'Our powers lie in stealth.' He disclosed, almost mysteriously. I frowned as I was still no closer to understanding what his clan could do. 'Stealth?' I questioned. He sat down beside Amagiri. 'Invisibility, camouflage, night vision…' he trailed off as he listed them. 'These are some of the powers the leader of the Shiranui clan possesses.' He said. I thought about it for a minute. They seemed like pretty amazing abilities. 'So who's the leader?' I questioned. He had started to clean his gun which I'd noticed he did most days when we'd stopped to rest. It seemed like a habit for him now. 'My uncle.' He said.

So both Amagiri and Shiranui were related to clan royalty. I was surprised that they had also been made to delve into human affairs, like Kazama had. It was in that moment though that I wondered why Kazama of all people had been sent. Surely as a clan leader he was too valuable to be sent into the human world? Was there really no one else that could have taken his place?

It was as if Kazama knew I was thinking about him because he came right over to interrupt our conversation. 'Let's go. We have a while to travel yet. You can chat about such pointless things later.' He muttered. I got straight up off the grass as he mounted Yuki. Holding out his hand for me to take it, I did. He pulled me up behind him and I settled into the saddle against his back and Shiranui and Amagiri appeared beside their horses, also mounting.

Kazama whirled Yuki around all of a sudden and I squealed, clinging to him. He smirked like he always did when I clung onto him. 'Ready?' He purred. I quickly looked away from his eyes and he looked to the other two and inclined his head, communicating that he was ready to leave.

Without another moment's hesitation, we resumed our journey.

* * *

I gasped as I saw the landscape in front of me. We had reached a bend in the path but in front of us was a giant cliff. The view was stunning and I could see the village below nestled among the forest trees. It was a medium sized village, big enough that I could see its lights twinkling in the fading daylight. It was pretty but I couldn't get rid of the horrid feeling in my gut of being up so high. I'd been scared of heights for as long as I could remember.

We trotted slightly closer and finally stopped. Everyone just looked for a while before Kazama's voice split through the silence. 'That's the village.' He said. I realised he was talking to me but he wasn't expecting a response. I looked up at the sky. The sun was setting but as breathtaking as it was, it let us know that time was running out. The path that wound down the mountain side would take at least another hour to follow until we finally came to the village and there was probably only half an hour of daylight left.

'Chizuru and I will take the shortcut. You two continue on your way down the mountain path with the horses.' Kazama suddenly commanded. I had to blink a few times at him to make sure I wasn't seeing things. The red rays of the fading sun bathed him in a golden aura as he was seated in front of me. It instantly reminded me of when we'd watched the sunset together all those months ago when he'd taken me out on that date. The scene once again took my breath away.

Kazama turned to look at me as if he knew I was admiring him. 'Let's go.' He said. I nodded, ready for him to make Yuki start walking again or at least turn her around but he didn't. I frowned as he dismounted. 'What are you doing?' I asked timidly. His red eyes reflected the light as he looked up at me. 'We are taking a shortcut. Now let's go. If you want to get new clothes we need to make it before the shops close.' He said. I still didn't understand but I got off Yuki. 'Won't it be slower if we go on foot?' I inquired. He fixed me with a cheeky grin. 'Quite the opposite.' He said. I watched him tie Yuki's reins to Amagiri's saddle and he took off his black riding gloves, slipping them into his saddlebag.

And then it hit me.

I pulled myself away from him as he turned towards me. 'No!' I said, shaking my head. I crossed my arms and his lips broke into a crooked smile as he realised that I'd clicked. I continued to back away from him. 'You're insane. There's no way in hell I'm going down that way.' I snapped. He appeared in front of me, grabbing my hand in his own and I couldn't even blush as he pulled me closer to his body. 'I won't let anything happen to you.' He promised, but his eyes were gleaming sadistically. He was enjoying this. I pulled my hand from him. 'No!' I said again, running over to Yuki. I went to mount her but I felt two hands grab my waist and I squealed as he plucked me off her as easy as if he was picking up a child. He placed me on the ground again but I wasn't there for very long. Before I knew it he had scooped me up into his arms. I cried out, trying to squirm my way out of his grasp. 'No! Put me down!' I implored. He only grinned, gripping me tighter. 'Don't you want new clothes?' He teased, walking closer to the cliff. I started to tremble from fear. 'I can wait a little longer. I'll go with the others and get new clothes tomorrow.' I begged. He looked down at me in his arms, chuckling. 'You would rather wear my yukata for an extra day?' He asked. I gripped his cape tightly in my hands. 'Please, Kazama-san. I'm scared of heights.' I said, my voice breaking.

For a second I saw guilt flicker in his eyes but it was gone so quickly it might not have been there at all. 'Don't you trust me, Chizuru?' He sighed, almost insulted. I was stunned for a second by his question. Did I… trust him? Not even I knew the answer to that. But whatever the answer was, it wouldn't have changed the fact that I didn't want to do this.

I cried out again as he stepped closer to the drop, so close I could feel the updraft of the wind rustle my fringe. He was right on the edge now. If I hadn't have been so petrified I would have noticed that the view was incredible. 'Kazama-san! Please!' I begged him, and he sighed. 'I promise you'll be fine.' He said, giving me a twisted smile. 'I'll show you right now that you can trust me.'

Just as I looked over Kazama's shoulder to beg Amagiri to save me, Kazama stepped off the edge.

I screamed as I felt the tug of gravity. The ground rushed up to meet me at a frightening speed and I screwed my eyes shut tightly, throwing my arms around his neck and burying my face into his cape. I'd never held on to him as tightly as I did as we fell, not even when we were horse riding. I knew when we landed on the ground I'd be livid with him, probably even more livid than I'd been the other night when he'd implied he was going to kill Yuki. But in this moment he was the only thing keeping me alive so I clung to him so hard I thought our bodies would fuse together.

Suddenly I saw shadows flicker across my eyelids and I opened them slightly. We had fallen past the canopy of the trees below. The world rushed past me so quickly I began to feel dizzy and I clung onto him tighter as I saw how high up we still were.

No sooner after I thought that, we landed on the ground. With a dull thud from the impact clouds of dirt billowed around us from the force of our landing and Kazama raised slowly from his crouching position to stand. He was still holding me securely in his arms, his warmth seeping through my clothes. I was nowhere near composed enough to let go of him yet; I was still fighting to stay conscious from the fear.

He stood still for a while without speaking as I held onto him motionlessly. His grip loosened on me a little now that we were safely back on the ground but he made no effort to let go of me entirely. 'Chizuru.'

I didn't lift my face, which was pressed firmly against his neck. When I didn't respond he sat down on a rock. My nails were almost piercing through the fabric of his cape and I didn't need to look to know my knuckles had gone white. We stayed like that for a while and I felt one of his hands slide over my hair. 'Look at me.' He sighed. I let out the breath I'd been holding since we'd jumped but I still couldn't speak or move. My heart was still pounding. He tilted my head up to look at him but I wouldn't open my eyes. I felt one of his fingers brush the tears from my face and the action was so tender that under literally any other circumstance my heart would have skipped a beat but I was in no way able to feel anything other than shock in that moment.

After a few minutes of silence and after all my tears had been cleared by his fingers, he pulled me tighter against him. The movement caused me to stir and I finally opened my eyes. He was already looking at me with that same, satisfied look. I realised I was still clinging to him and I screwed up my face and managed to tug myself out of his arms, falling back onto the dirt. I was so angry I didn't even need to know what to say to him.

He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He cocked his head to the side as he looked at me, his eyes hazy with perverse amusement. 'If I had have known you would hold on to me like that I would have jumped off that cliff with you after our date.' He purred. I was in no mood for his jokes. I picked up my shoe, which had fallen off, and I threw it at him as hard as I could. It missed him completely but it made him raise an eyebrow. 'I hate you!' I cried, picking myself up off the dirt and storming into the forest.

I clenched my fists. It was a mistake traveling to Ezo with him. He was as bad as he was when I first met him. He knew on top of the cliff how scared I was and he still chose to jump despite my pleading. He was selfish and cruel and everything I couldn't stand.

I was fuming as I walked briskly though the forest. I had no idea where I was going but anywhere was better than with him.

Suddenly he appeared in front of me and I dodged him effortlessly and kept walking. 'Go away! I'm going to Ezo on my own!' I yelled. His hand grabbed mine and he tugged me back. I went to turn around to slap it away from me but he pulled me against his chest. 'I don't appreciate you telling me that you hate me.' He said, but he didn't sound angry. I scowled, shoving his chest. 'And I don't appreciate being thrown off cliffs!' I retorted hotly. He tried to hide his grin, but he couldn't. 'I didn't _throw_ you off. I held you safely in my arms.' He said with glittering eyes. I clenched my teeth at his infuriating response and made a sound of disgust. 'You don't even care about what you just did! It's just fun for you to torture me like that, isn't it? Now go away to your stupid meeting. I don't want to see your face again!' I snapped, going to turn around but he stopped me again. 'But you have my yukata.' He sighed, playing along with me. I pursed my lips, trying to control myself. 'I wouldn't care even if I had your soul! I'm going and whatever I have with me is what I'm taking!'

He was chuckling, such a frustratingly pleasant sound, but he wouldn't pull his arm away from around my waist no matter how hard I tried to get him off me. 'If you tell me you don't hate me then I'll let you go.' He promised. I turned my face to the side defiantly. 'That would be a lie if I said that. I thought you hated lies!' I hissed. He sighed, the pleasure he got from my irritation as plain as day on his face. 'Would it really be a lie?' He cooed, giving me a charming smile. I tensed in his grip. 'Let me go.' I commanded. He lifted my head up to stare directly into his eyes. The delirious expression on his face made my insides churn with a forbidden yearning, and he just held me tighter. 'Has anyone ever told you that you're irresistible when you're angry?' He breathed. I finally managed to shove him off me and I couldn't even think of anything to say to him before I stormed off again because I was so furious. The fact that the pressure in my core was still lingering due to sight of his fiery eyes and the sound of his breath made me even more enraged. No matter what he did to me I would have to accept that my body would never be immune to him.

'You forgot something.' He called out to me. I spun around, narrowing my eyes at him. He hadn't moved from where he was but he was holding something in his hands. I gasped, clutching my wrist. How had I not felt him take my bracelet off? 'Give it back!' I said. He smiled, leaning against a tree calmly. 'Tell me you don't hate me.' He said. I gritted my teeth. The day I was free from his presence would be the best day of my life. When I didn't answer, he sighed and began twirling the bracelet in his fingers. 'Does that mean I can keep it?' He questioned. I didn't think I'd ever been angrier than I was in that moment. This was one thing I couldn't live without. I could have left any one of my belongings with him and felt no regret but this bracelet was the one thing I couldn't leave behind and he knew it too. I walked briskly back over to him and he looked at me. 'Say you don't hate me. Then it's yours.' He repeated. I crossed my arms. 'You're the most infuriating person I've met in my life.' I muttered. He frowned at me, but he still didn't look angry. 'That didn't sound very much like 'I don't hate you, Kazama-san'.' He sighed. I closed my eyes before the sight of his smugness caused me to flip out. 'I…' I swallowed as the first word left my mouth. I heard him stop swirling the bracelet and I didn't open my eyes because I knew if I saw his satisfied expression I'd be forced to slap him across the face. 'I…don't…' I felt my lips twist. The words tasted disgusting in my mouth. 'I don't hate you.' I grumbled, still refusing to open my eyes.

'Kazama-san. You forgot my name at the end.'

I grinded my teeth together. 'I don't hate you, Kazama-san.' I spat quickly, getting it over and done with. I gasped as he pulled me close to him and when I opened my eyes he was on his knees in front of me. His eyes didn't leave mine as he put the bracelet back on my wrist again and I got the same weird feeling I got last time. It felt like the scene was familiar but no memories came to mind.

I was distracted from my confusion when he kissed my hand, closing his eyes like he was enjoying the taste of my skin. I tore it away from him and he chuckled as I wiped it animatedly against his yukata, ridding myself of the annoyingly pleasant feeling of his lips on me. 'Was that so hard?' he teased, standing up. I didn't answer him; I just started walking again. I couldn't deal with anymore of him today.

I felt him appear next to me. 'Come on. Let's go get you some new clothes.' He said. I frowned at him. 'I said I don't want to go with you anymore.' I snapped and he sighed. 'You don't have any of your things, no maps, no food. You're even missing a shoe.' He said, holding up my boot which was now in his hand. I turned away from him and he continued. 'Now we have even less time before the shops shut.' He chided. I crossed my arms as I walked, still infuriated by what had occurred. He was right. I had nothing on me, not even clothes that fit me properly. I had no choice but to stay with him and besides, I knew that once I'd calmed down I'd once again realise that traveling with him to Ezo was the best option. I was just so mad with him in that moment that I couldn't think straight.

We walked in silence for a long time, snaking through the trees. They got sparser and sparser the closer we got to the village and I felt my anger slowly draining. I was still in shock from jumping off such a high cliff but I couldn't deny it was kind of amazing that he could fall from that height and survive. He still seemed a little haughty as he walked beside me and I resisted the urge to shake my head. He only seemed to have three emotions, smug, angry and irritated, but something told me that underneath his tough exterior was a very complex and multifaceted man. Even after travelling with him for a few weeks I still knew next to nothing about him and I wondered if I would know him better by the end of our journey.

I turned away quickly as he shifted his eyes to look at me, sensing I'd been peeking at him. 'Is there something on my face?' He asked. I went red at his question, feeling my anger swell again. 'Only arrogance.' I muttered, folding my arms crossly. He chuckled lightly and his smirk intensified. 'Feisty.' Was all he said. I had a feeling he meant it as a compliment.

He didn't say anything as we continued and eventually we broke through the last of the trees. I saw the village gates before us, open to let people in and out, and Kazama gestured for me to follow him as he started to approach them. 'We will get you some new clothes from a contact I have here who sells western attire and then wait for Shiranui and Amagiri at the meeting place.' He said. When I turned to look at him his face had gone serious. I nodded and ignored the curious regards I got from the people who passed me. Not only was I wearing a man's yukata but boots as well. It was painfully obvious something had happened to my old clothes and my face turned scarlet as I heard people whispering. I was definitely making sure I got a second change of clothes this time.

Kazama ignored everyone's stares as we walked through the village. We didn't talk to one another nor did we make an effort to but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. It was kind of peaceful and it was made even clearer to me in that moment that I was beginning to get used to him. The first week had been utter torture but it hadn't taken me as long as I'd thought it would to become accustomed to him being around me. But that didn't mean he didn't have his intolerable days. He could truly be a pain in the butt when he wanted to be; like today, for example.

I only hoped that travelling with him would get me to the Shinsengumi faster. If so then it would be worth the pain of being in his company.

Watching the red of the sunset fade from the sky, we continued down the street in silence.


	14. On one condition

**On one condition**

I wrapped my cape tighter around my body, trying to stay as invisible as possible.

I felt so out of place here. I was dressed in Western clothes now, black high-waisted pants and boots, a white long sleeve shirt with a dark blue tunic. I also had a navy cape which went down to the back of my knees, much like the one Kazama wore. He had gotten these clothes for me before he went to the meeting, which he was currently in.

As I looked around, I doubted it was just a geisha house. Some of the women were dressed a little too exotically to just pour sake. Kazama had told me to sit exactly where I was and not move until he was finished. He had warned me that he might be a while and he'd already been gone for an hour and I was getting bored. Thankfully no one had tried talking to me but I doubted they'd seen me. I was huddled right against the corner on a cushioned seat beside a pot plant. The light was dim and everyone was so drunk that they probably didn't care I was here anyway.

How much longer would he be? And did he really need to take Shiranui and Amagiri with him?

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't notice a man approaching until he was already speaking. 'Why hello there, girly.' He slurred. I looked up, stunned. He was extremely drunk and I could tell this would be a repeat of what happened during Kazama and I's date. 'Uh… hey.' I murmured. He looked pleased with himself when I answered. 'What's a girl dressed like a soldier doing here?' He asked, swaying to the side to lean against the wall beside me. I huddled up closer into the corner, hiding my body with my cape. 'Just… passing through.' I said. I was unsure what to say or how much to tell anyone. Kazama didn't tell me what to say if someone asked me why I was here. The drunk man nodded but I could see he was already pondering something else. 'The name's Takumi. What's yours?' He said, bowing to me drunkenly. I averted my eyes from his hazy gaze. 'Uh… Chizuru.' I murmured. He made an impressed sound. 'That's a pretty name. It suits you.' He said. Suddenly he sat down beside me on the bench and I flinched as he put his arm around me. He reeked of sake and cigarettes. 'I'm not going to lie.' He said, looking at me with half lidded eyes. 'You could make any hot blooded man lose his mind. You're a beauty.' He said it like it was meant as a compliment but it made my mouth go dry. I didn't respond to him and his arm tightened around me. 'Say… I'm a soldier, you know. I get paid good money. I'd be willing to share some with you. What do you say?'

I didn't need to ask to know what he meant. I felt cold fear grip my insides and I tried to push him away. 'No, it's ok.' I insisted, but he wasn't letting go. He shook his head like I was an idiot for refusing his offer. 'I'm offering to pay you for just a little of your time. It will be fun, I promise.' He said. I gasped as his sweaty fingers reached up to take my chin. It reminded me of how Kazama did it but this man's grip was more threatening. At least I knew deep down inside that Kazama would never hurt me.

I let out a little whimper as the man pulled my face closer to his, closing his eyes for a kiss. Just before I went to slap him across the face and run, someone else did it for me.

The man instantly let me go, clutching his head. 'What the hell?' He grumbled, looking up at the woman who had hit him over the head. She was beautiful, dressed in a short emerald green dress. Her hair was blond and her eyes green. 'Get your grubby fingers off this young girl.' She snapped. She wasn't much older than me. He winced up at her, like he was having trouble seeing. 'I was going to pay her for it.' He argued. That only seemed to anger her even more and I gasped as she reached down to grab a fistful of his shirt. Pulling him up off the seat, she brought his face close to hers. 'Get lost, you disgusting lecher.' She warned, before she pushed him away. He staggered back a few steps but remarkably maintained his balance. He spat at her feet once he'd steadied himself. 'Dirty whore.' But he finally left us.

I was so stunned by what had happened that I didn't know she was talking to me until I felt her hand on mine. She'd sat down beside me already. 'Are you ok?' She asked. I nodded, looking at her after I'd watched the man leave the geisha house. 'Thank you.' I said, bowing to her slightly. She dismissed my gratitude with a wave of her graceful hand. 'Girls gotta look after girls, ya know.' She said. When I smiled at her, her face was warm. Her beauty was kind of mesmerising. 'My name's Lily. What's yours?' She asked. 'Chizuru.' I replied. She stood up, pulling me up with her. 'Chizuru, then. I'm just about to have some dinner with my friends. Would you like to accompany us? It's not safe out here for a young girl on her own as you just found out.'

I kind of wanted to go with her but Kazama had told me I wasn't allowed to move. 'I can't. I promised my companions I'd stay here.' I said, somewhat sadly. She raised an eyebrow at me. 'Are your companions men? Honestly, it doesn't surprise me. Going off on their own to indulge themselves while leaving a young girl to fend for herself.' She rolled her eyes like it was more common than one would think. 'Uh…well, I thank you for the offer but I must stay here.' I repeated again, bowing deeper to her now that I was standing up. 'Thank you for saving me before.'

She looked at me pensively for a second, before she sighed. 'Wait here.' I watched as she walked over to a group of geisha's gathered around the entrance to the house. She talked with them for a little bit and they all looked over at me and nodded. Thanking them with a bow, Lily came back over to me and took my hands. 'I told them to watch out for your companions. If they ask for you by name they will send them to us. Now, let's go.' She said, tugging me from the main foyer and out the back. I shut my mouth as I went to protest. It was obvious she wasn't taking no for an answer. 'Are you hungry?' She suddenly asked me. I was forced to nod. I hadn't eaten for hours and I hadn't had time to anyway since we'd been traveling non-stop. She smiled. 'Good, because we have lots of food. My friends all work here and it will be just us so you don't need to worry about any pesky drunkards.' She laughed. Her teeth were so perfect and white. I smiled. 'Thank you.'

She led me down the side of the rooms, a giant garden in the centre. It was beautiful but the setup reminded me of the time I'd been dressed as a geisha in Shimabara. That was the night Kazama had almost kissed me. I shuddered as I thought about it. The look of hunger in his eyes when he'd leaned in to press our lips together still made my skin tingle.

Finally we opened a door and three young girls turned to look at me curiously. They were all so beautiful, dressed in the same short capped sleeve dress as Lily, except they were wearing different colours. 'Oooh, who's this?' One of them chirped. She was dressed in red and had light brown hair. Lily looked proud as she sat me down. 'This is Chizuru. I just saved her from a drunk arsehole so she's staying here with us for a bit until her companions finish spoiling themselves.'

Spoiling themselves? I didn't want to tell her they were in a meeting but I wondered if Kazama had ever visited a place like this before. I got an unpleasant feeling in my stomach and I pushed it to the side. As if I should care where he'd been before. It was none of my business.

I bowed to them. 'Nice to meet you all.' I said. They came a little closer to me. 'Nice to meet you too, Chizuru.' One said. She was dressed in a blue dress and had raven black hair. Her eyes were a piercing grey. I felt the jealously swirl as I looked at them. I could never compete with girls like these. 'I'm Haruka.' The last one said, dressed in purple. 'And this is Rika, in red, and Yuzuki, in blue.' They waved at me, grinning as they were introduced. Lily sat down too once we'd all been introduced. 'Where's dinner?' She asked the girls. 'Coming. We are just having some pre-food drinks to celebrate Rika's success today.' Yuzuki chimed, holding up her glass. The liquid inside looked like blood but it had a pleasant smell. Lily clasped her hands. 'Oh, that's right! How did it go?' She asked. Rika was blushing. 'Well… it was interesting. I guess I'm just lucky he wasn't too old.'

I was really confused what they were talking about but I was too shy to ask for clarification. The girls chatted for a little more amongst themselves before Haruka regarded me curiously. 'So what's with the clothes?' She asked. I blushed. 'Well… I'm traveling at the moment. These clothes are just easier to get around in.' I said. Technically it wasn't untrue. It was a lot more comfortable horse riding with pants on than a kimono. Lily reached out to touch the fabric of my cape. 'This looks expensive. Did your companion buy it for you?' She asked. My thoughts flicked to Kazama. 'He did.' I said. I watched all four girls' expressions grow intrigued. 'Is this 'he' a special someone?' Lily teased. I went even redder and they giggled in unison but before I could answer, the door opened. It was a geisha dressed in the traditional decorative kimono and face paint. 'I have your dinner, girls.' She said. Lily got up and helped bring the food in. It was a small banquet. Whatever Rika's 'success' had been it was surely an important occasion. Lily thanked the geisha and set to serving up my food once she'd left. She piled it on my plate and my mouth watered as the smell reached my nose. The other three girls had begun serving their own food. I thanked Lily as she handed me a pair of chopsticks.

Just as Rika went to put a piece of chicken in her mouth, Lily interrupted. 'Wait!'

I was a little stunned and so were the other girls as Lily raised her cup. 'We should do a toast to Rika.' She suggested eagerly. The other girls lit up and picked up their glasses. Suddenly Rika gasped. 'Chizuru doesn't have a cup!' She said. Lily grinned, plucking a clean one off the tray. 'She does now.' She said as she filled it with the red liquid. I regarded her blankly as she handed it to me. 'What's this?' I asked. Haruka filled up her own cup. 'It's called wine. The soldiers brought it over from France and it's delicious. Apparently it's made from grapes.' She said. I peered into the cup, the colour transfixing me. It was the colour of Kazama's eyes. Lily was buzzing as she lifted her cup again. 'Ok, here's to Rika!' She laughed. 'Kanpai!' The others chanted and they brought their cups up to their lips. I did the same. The flavour was really strong and I swallowed it with a wince. It burned a little as it settled in my stomach but I liked the way it made me feel warm inside. The taste, although rich, wasn't unpleasant.

Once everyone had put their cups down, Lily regarded me. 'Did you like it?' She asked. I nodded. 'It tastes nice.' I replied, and she filled my cup up again. 'We have heaps so drink as much as you like.'

I nodded, taking another mouthful as everyone started to eat.

I was no longer concerned about what Kazama would do when he realised I'd move from the spot in the foyer. It was better I stayed here anyway with these girls where I was safe. I poured myself another glass of wine as Lily kept on talking. I blinked as I felt my vision blur slightly but I quickly brushed it aside as fatigue. I was still tired from using my clan power and we _had_ gotten up early this morning. I tuned back into their conversation, enjoying the feeling of being surrounded by other girls. It reminded me of when I was with Sen.

A whole half hour had passed before I realised what I was drinking might not be just juice.

I finished the cup in front of me and Lily started to laugh. I noticed her eyes were going a little glassy and her smile was giddy. 'Wow, Chizuru. What is that, your sixth cup?' She laughed. The others joined in too with laughter and I put down my empty glass. 'It tastes really good.' I said, surprising myself when a giggle slipped passed my lips. That made them laugh even harder. 'You're already drunk.' Haruka chuckled, finishing her own cup and filling it up again. I frowned at them, my thoughts becoming hazier by the second. ' _Drunk_?' I gasped. Rika reached over to tap on the side of the wine bottle. 'This is alcohol. Did you not know?'

I covered my mouth in shock. I'd never had alcohol before. The shock didn't last long because the fuzziness in my brain was becoming undeniable now. My gasp turned into another giggle and I felt my body swaying slightly from side to side. The feeling was so alien but it wasn't disagreeable. I was just concerned with how bad Kazama would scold me when he realised I'd been drinking. Would he scold me? I didn't know, but my hands automatically brought the filled cup back up to my mouth.

* * *

'Kazama-san's probably missing me now.' I sighed, leaning against the door as I swayed.

Kazama! It had been so long since I'd seen him, at least 3 hours. Would he be angry at me for running away and doing exactly what he'd asked me not to do? Lily smiled drunkenly. 'Kazama-san? Is that the name of your companion?' She asked. I nodded and she gaped at me. 'Hey, he had a meeting booked tonight! That's him?' she inquired. I nodded again, wrapping my arms around her neck. 'Yes. Do you know where he is?' I slurred. Lily laid back on the floor of the room. 'I can't quite remember but I think it's near the foyer. Do you remember where that is?' She asked dreamily. She was very drunk too, as were the other girls. Rika had passed out 15 minutes ago. I nodded vaguely. 'I'm going! I'll be back soon.' I promised. They nodded collectively. 'Just scream if you get in trouble.' Lily giggled. I put my hand over my mouth as I laughed. 'Ok, sure thing.'

I slid the door open and the fresh night air greeted me but it did nothing to soothe the heat of my skin. I stumbled down the hallway and headed to where I thought the foyer was. I couldn't really keep my eyes on anything for too long because everything was spinning but I'd never felt happier in my entire life. I felt like I could jump around and sing at the top of my lungs. Who knew alcohol could make me feel like this.

I came to a door near the end of the hall and opened it abruptly. A group of men turned to look at me and they gawked. I frowned at them. 'You aren't Kazama-san.' I muttered, shutting the door. I kept walking down to the end and came face to face with the last door. Just as I was about to open it, it opened itself. A man stood there, looking at me in shock. He didn't look dangerous and my hazy judgement didn't mind it when he took my hand in his. 'Are you lost?' He asked me. He didn't sound drunk. He sounded nice. I smiled up at him, patting his chest affectionately. 'Yes. I'm looking for someone.' I said. He smiled. 'Well, would you like to keep me company while you look for them?' He asked. I giggled, nodding eagerly. 'Yes!'

I didn't argue with him as he led me down the hallway. His hand was nice and warm and it kept me from swaying around too much. 'What's your name, sweetheart?' He asked me as we walked. I looped my arm through his. If I hadn't have been so drunk, I would have noticed that look in his eye was indeed dangerous. 'My name's Chizuru. You?' I replied. 'You can call me Kirihito.' He said. I pressed beamed up at him. 'Nice to meet you. You have pretty eyes.' I said. He laughed modestly. 'Why thank you, Chizuru. So do you.'

He kept leading me down the hallway and was just about to speak again when I heard something very familiar.

I spun around in astonishment, looking everywhere but I couldn't see him.

But I could hear his voice.

'What are you doing?' The man suddenly asked. I didn't answer him. I pulled him over with me as I opened the door closest to me. He wasn't inside but a group of men was. They reacted similarly to the first group I'd walked in on but I shut the door quickly before they could speak. I came up to the next door and pressed my ear to it. 'Hey, let's go.' He urged gently, trying to tug me away from the door. I hooked my arm through the man's again and shook my head. 'Hang on! There's something I have to say to someone first.' I giggled. I pushed the door open quickly and their eyes snapped up to see who had entered. Relief flooded me as I saw him there, mouth open mid-sentence as he glared at me in the doorway. There were only the 3 oni men inside and Kazama was packing up all the documents in front of him. They had just finished.

'Kazama-san!' I squealed, breaking away from the man as I ran inside. Amagiri and Shiranui were there too. They looked even more astonished than Kazama. He didn't speak as I knelt down in front of him. 'I'm sorry I ran away from the foyer but I was just coming to tell you I'm going with this man to keep him company.' I giggled, going to get back up again. I had only started to rise when he grabbed my hand and pulled me back down. 'Get lost, vermin.' He growled. But he wasn't talking to me. The man at the door backed away as Kazama addressed him. The fear was plain on his face as he stared into Kazama's scorching eyes. He didn't need to be told twice and he quickly left, not even shutting the door in his haste.

I clicked my tongue as he ran away and I turned back to Kazama. 'You scared him off.' I scolded. Kazama made me look at him and he analysed my face. 'Have you been _drinking_?' He asked with a slight frown. I giggled, covering my mouth coyly with my hands. 'Drinking? _Me_?' I giggled. When he saw my reaction he sighed. I'd just answered his question with my ridiculous behaviour. 'I told you not to leave the foyer.' He chided, but he didn't look angry. He was still analysing my drunk face with something close to curiosity. I poked his forehead and he blinked at my action. 'A man tried to take me away to do lewd things with him and Lily saved me. It's _your_ fault for leaving me alone.' I reprimanded, crossing my arms. I frowned as he turned my face back to look at him. 'It's _your_ fault for being so irresistible.' He sighed. His eyes were boring into me but the alcohol in my system numbed the effect of his gaze on me. I didn't even blush. I pushed his hand away from my skin. 'That's what _he_ said too. He said I could make any hot blooded man lose his mind. You're just like him.' I said matter-of-factly.

Shiranui finally started laughing too. 'You better be careful, Chizuru. Kazama's already about to lose his cool because of how that meeting went.' He said. I giggled, playing with the hem of my cape as Kazama eyeballed me unrelentingly. 'Oh yeah, how was it?' I asked. Before he could respond, Kazama's hand clamped down on mine. He dragged me closer to him to inspect my face. 'How much alcohol did you have? You're swaying and your eyes keep on lolling back into your head. You could have gotten yourself kidnapped walking around this intoxicated.' He suddenly snapped. I snorted, tugging myself away from him, legs folded to the side. 'You would know all about kidnapping wouldn't you? I've had to go through your abduction attempts on more than one occasion. And don't scold me for drinking so much because you practically _live_ off sake.' I retorted. His eyes were so bright they were almost pink and his pupils were tiny. 'Who were you with?' He asked, ignoring my statement. I presumed I'd hit the nail right on the head. I pouted, shrugging a little. 'You know, just people.' I sighed. His lips pressed into a thin line. ' _Who_?' He pressed. I rolled my eyes at his irritation. He was so overprotective. 'Some girls. Geez.' He went rigid as I moved forward to slide my hands around his neck, falling into his lap. I looked at him with sultry eyes. 'Jealous, are we?' I sighed. I was so drunk I couldn't even see him properly except for his burning, ruby orbs.

He tried to look at me sternly but I could sense he was faltering under my touch. My teasing was working better than I thought it would. He put his hands on my shoulders and peeled me off his body. 'Stop that.' He griped. I reached for him again, giggling as my fingers secured themselves in the folds of his black haori. He had donned his traditional clothing for the meeting. 'Stop what?' I teased. He growled a little, deep in his throat. It was the first time I'd heard such a sound from him. It sounded so primal, like an animal, and the vibrations of it gave me goosebumps. He was warning me that I was testing his limits. I grinned slyly and drew his face close to mine as I put my arms around his neck again. I watched the firm expression on his face melt away and his lips part slightly at the proximity of our faces. I looked into his eyes for a long while, testing how much he could take before he broke.

But he didn't.

I sighed, dropping my playful demeanour. 'You know, there's some things I've been meaning to ask you.' I said, sitting back down before him. His startled expression turned somewhat curious. 'About what?' He asked. I looked at him through hazy eyes. 'About marrying you.' I said simply. Not even he could hide his astonishment. I smiled, patting his knee. 'You know, I have some questions about that.' I said. His impatience showed through his expression. 'Yes, you just told me. So what are they?' He mumbled. I ignored his tone and rolled my eyes exaggeratedly. 'First of all, Mr. Bossy Boots, if we marry will you promise I'll be the only one? The only woman?' I sighed. The question obviously caught him off guard. He appeared repulsed that I'd even asked him. 'Of course you'll be the only one. What kind of man do you think I am?' He sighed. My mind went blank as he reached out to slide his thumb over my chin. I realised in that moment that his touch was like alcohol and I couldn't help but smile giddily. 'Really?' I clarified, and he frowned at me a little. 'Of course. I'm not an animal.' He sighed. I clasped my hands together. 'Ok, you pass! Next question!' I chirped. He waited expectantly for the next one and I picked up his sake cup, examining it in my fingers. There was alcohol still in it and I watched it sparkle in the light, becoming utterly transfixed. It glittered like stars.

'Chizuru, concentrate.' His voice interrupted my trance. I looked at him and giggled. 'Sorry.' I said, bringing his cup to my lips and drinking the rest of his sake. It tasted nothing like wine. It was completely abhorrent. I screwed up my face and choked out my next question as he regarded me with a raised eyebrow. 'Am I permitted to work? You know, earn my keep or even do chores? I don't want to sit around in your village and do nothing.' I asked. Once he'd recovered from his amusement of having me drink his sake he appeared insulted by my question. 'Your duties will lie in taking care of our children. You need not concern yourself with other trivial things. I'll provide our family with everything we need and you can leave the chores for the servants.' He said. I didn't like that answer and I crossed my arms. 'So I can't even cook? Not even for our kids?' I let out a frustrated sigh. 'Not being able to cook for our children is a deal breaker. Cooking is how you show your family that you love them. I'd even cook for you if we were married, you know.' I huffed. Those words made his scowl soften a little but he quickly regained his composure. 'Fine. If it makes you that happy doing peasant tasks then I'll allow you to prepare our meals. But you needn't do anything else.' He sighed. I smiled, happy that I'd be able to cook. I'd always enjoyed cooking. 'Good. I think I have two more questions.' I said. He waited for them. 'And what is the next one?'

I felt the heat of a blush enter my cheeks and I quickly put my hands over them. 'Well...' I murmured, squirming a little as I sat. He watched me suffering for a little while before he raised my chin to look at him again. 'What?' He encouraged. I blushed and looked down again. 'Have you… have you… ever… uh…?' I trailed off, fiddling with my clothes. '…been with a woman before?'

He looked at me in silence. He didn't speak for a while, and I could feel Amagiri and Shiranui looking at us kind of stunned. Obviously this whole conversation had left them speechless, especially my latest question.

'I have.' He said, after what felt like an eternity.

I felt my shoulders slump. I didn't know why it made me feel so bad. It put an uncomfortable, heavy feeling in my stomach when I thought of him with other girls and I wasn't sure why.

'Does that bother you?' He asked me all of a sudden. I just sighed. 'I suppose I expected it but I guess it means I really would be just like any other girl.' I sighed airily. I went to roll over onto the floor in defeat but he grabbed my shoulders before I hit the ground and straightened me again. 'There is no other girl like you, Chizuru.' He purred. His eyes were twinkling now, recovered from the unexpectedness of my question. I rolled my eyes at him. 'Yeah, yeah. Because I'm a pureblood, I know.' I sighed. I lazily tugged myself out of his grip. 'I don't care though and it doesn't bother me.' I pouted, crossing my arms. He only chuckled. 'Even when you're drunk you're an appalling liar.' He remarked, shaking his head a little.

When I finally took my hands off my burning cheeks, he sighed. 'If you're satisfied with my response then perhaps you would like to ask the last question?' He suggested. I folded my arms grumpily. 'Well… you've spent the last 4 years trying to get me to have your children so I guess you should tell me how many you want.' I said, peeking a look at him. He grinned at me, bringing his sake cup to his lips which he'd refilled. 'You're asking me how many children I want?' He purred. I pursed my lips. 'I guess I am.'

He paused for a long time, watching me almost pensively. I had no idea what number he would say but I had a feeling it would be some ridiculous one. He sat there looking at me with mediative eyes for what felt like forever.

'As many as possible.' He said finally. I looked up at him timidly. 'But how many do you _want_?' I questioned. He reached out again to slide his fingers over my face. The soothing touch of his skin made my eyes close for a few seconds and I felt myself swaying slightly from side to side, struggling to stay upright. He spoke after he'd finished watching me swoon underneath his touch. 'At least 5. Absolutely no less.' He said. I went red when I opened my eyes again and I pushed his hand away. 'Do you think I'm indestructible or something?' I grilled, narrowing my eyes at him. He chuckled and downed his sake in one gulp. 'Well, it will be mostly your fault. I can imagine you won't be able to keep your hands off me.' He goaded. I cringed again. 'Urgh. You really do have no shame.' I muttered. He grinned, but he didn't speak.

After a few seconds of comfortable, pensive silence I decided I better elucidate the situation before he got any crazy ideas. 'Just so you know, I didn't just agree to marry you. I was just wanting to clarify some things.' I said. He immediately raised his burning eyes to look at me. 'Clarify some things because you're _considering_ marrying me?' He teased. I frowned. 'I won't consider anything yet.' I snapped. He ignored my tone but I could see on his face that I'd perked his interest. ' _Yet_? Is there anything that would make you consider it?' He inquired. I played with the strand of hair that had fallen from the bun on my head. 'Well, there is one thing.' I mused. His body tensed up and the jest disappeared from his voice. 'And that is…?' He prompted, a little too quickly. He was trying hard to hide the intensity of his curiosity.

I looked into his eyes and he drew in a sharp breath when I took his hands into mine. I slowly ran my nails over his skin as I captured his gaze with my own. 'If you tell me you love me and mean it, then I'll think about it. I will only marry for love.'

He said nothing to me after that. His hands were still in mine, our eyes still locked together. All traces of amusement had disappeared from his visage. The look between us became so contemplative that even in my drunkenness I was lost in it and for a millisecond I thought I felt a flicker of his emotion pass through me from our touch.

When no one spoke even after a few minutes, I dragged myself up off the floor. 'I need to go back to my friends.' I said suddenly, all the tenderness from the previous few seconds being replaced with a drunken urgency to leave. Kazama was still busy mulling over what I told him but he responded. 'No you're not. I'm taking you to bed. I've rented a few rooms here for the night.' He said sternly. I frowned, flicking his hands away as he went to reach for me. 'Just because you're a clan leader doesn't mean you can order me around, Kazama- _sama_. And _this_ …,' I said, gesturing down to my body, '…is not yours.' I chided. I went to walk out of the room but I misjudged the entrance and walked into the door frame. Kazama caught me as collapsed and he picked me up in his arms with an entertained smirk on his face. 'Kazama-sama? I'm not opposed to you calling me that from now on.' He purred, an eyebrow raised. I shot him a sour glare. 'Your ego doesn't need to get any bigger than it already is. And put me down.' I grumbled. 'No. I'm taking you to bed.' He said curtly, pulling me tighter against him to emphasise the fact he wasn't going to let me have my way. I folded my arms. 'At least make sure it's my bed, not yours.' I ordered. He chuckled, a deep sound that rumbled in his chest. When he looked at me his eyes were swirling. 'One day I will take you to my bed. And one day _this_ …,' he said, jolting me a little in his arms, '… _will_ be mine. Entirely.'

I grumbled incoherently as he led me out of the room and away from Shiranui and Amagiri. They had said nothing as he took me away.

I groaned as my head spun and I rested it against his chest. The movement of his walking was slowly lulling me to sleep. In the space of the last few minutes, my fatigue had become crushing. My vision had become even more blurred.

'You are unlike any woman I've ever met.' He suddenly sighed. I could feel him looking down at me. I didn't respond to his comment and he didn't elaborate. We left the busy business section and entered the sleeping quarters. Gently, he used his foot to slide open one of the doors. It was nice and warm inside.

'Kazama-san?' I slurred. Now that I hadn't spoken for a while, it was so much harder for me to form my words correctly. He placed me down on the bed, sitting down beside me. If I wasn't so drunk I would have been nervous to be laying down on a bed beside Kazama like this but I was already half asleep. 'What?' He sighed. I squirmed a little, trying to sit up but he gave me a sharp look. I rolled over onto my side, deciding that it was better for me to stay lying down anyway. 'I'm sorry about earlier.' I murmured. 'I don't hate you.' I peered up at him gingerly and he chuckled. 'I know.'

His fingers traced my cheek and I let out the breath I was holding, giving in to the feeling of his skin on mine. I could have let him to this to me for hours on end. It was incredibly soothing. His hands slid over my hair, combing the stray hairs back and he pulled the cord from my bun so that my hair was freed. I closed my eyes and let out a soft sigh as he caressed my hair, the rhythm of his strokes making sleep inevitable.

I didn't know at what point he left.

All I knew was the last thing I felt before I lost conscious was the calming strokes of his fingers in my hair.


	15. Hidden longing

**Hidden longing**

I awoke to a hand patting my face softly.

I groaned, trying to roll over but they started to shake me. 'Chizuru!' It was a girl's voice. A familiar girl's voice.

I opened my sleepy eyes and glared at the person who was trying to rise me. She was smiling and I sat up quickly. 'Lily?' I gasped. She laughed. 'So this is where you were? I was worried when you left us, but it seems you managed to make it to the room your companion booked.' She said.

I stared out at the window. Daylight.

'I'm sorry for leaving you like that last night. I was… uh…' I trailed off, trying to find the right word. She just laughed again. 'Really drunk?' She offered, sitting beside me. 'Did you end up finding your companion?' She asked. I nodded, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. 'Yeah…' I murmured, going bright red as I knew he would have seen me severely drunk. I didn't remember much from last night and my memories got fuzzy straight after I went searching for the room he had his meeting in. I remembered opening the door and seeing Kazama, and Shiranui laughing at something, then the next memory is him picking me up and taking me somewhere. I presume it was to this room.

Lily sighed, like she was remembering a good dream. 'Last night was fun. It's a shame you can't stay here with us.' She sighed. I smiled, flattered. It was only when I was travelling with men did I realise how much I missed the company of girls. 'I know. But I might come back and visit you on my way back from Ezo.' I said. I bit my lip as I realised I'd told her where I was going and she perked up. 'You're going to Ezo? Why's that?' She inquired. I sighed. I might as well just tell the truth. 'There's someone there I'm searching for.' I admitted. She appeared confused. 'Who?' She pressed. I pondered what I would call him. 'A…friend. He looked after me for many years when I went to Kyoto.' I said. She seemed to be pondering what I'd told her, until her eyes twinkled a little. 'A friend, hey? What kind of friend is this?' She teased. I went red, unsure what to say. 'Just a… friend.' I mumbled.

Suddenly the door to my room slid open. Of course, he hadn't knocked. Kazama obviously felt he was above such a polite gesture. 'Get ready. We are leaving soon.' He ordered me. Lily's mouth was open as she gazed at him, love hearts in her eyes. 'Is this Kazama-san?' She said quietly, but it was horrendously obvious he could hear her. He was, after all, standing right in front of us. He turned to glare at her condescendingly. 'Get out of here.'

For once in my entire life, I didn't see the person he'd spoken to shrivel into a ball of fear. Lily just kept ogling, but she'd closed her mouth. 'Chizuru told me about you. She didn't say you were so handsome.' She said, matter-of-factly. I could tell the sentence wasn't actually directed at him; it was meant for me, as a way of teasing. I was still in awe of her boldness, so it was only when she turned to me and wriggled her eyebrows that I was snapped back into reality. 'Chizuru, how dare you hide such a man from us?'

'Get out, filthy harlot.' He said again. He wasn't having a bar of anything out of a human's mouth today, even if it came from a beautiful woman such as Lily but I was still appalled he'd called her such an insulting name. 'Kazama-san!' I scolded, and his ruby eyes turned to narrow themselves at me. 'You shouldn't be in such company. If I come back and she's still in here and you're not ready, it's not going to end pleasantly.' He snapped. Without another word, he had closed the door and I heard him storm down the hallway. He didn't seem like he was in a good mood today, but when was he ever.

Lily stopped me as I went to apologise on his behalf for what he'd called her. 'I've been called worse so don't worry. But you didn't tell me your companion was so handsome! His eyes are kind of unusual, but beautiful too.' She gasped. I rubbed my temples. 'He may look… uh… nice, but inside he's just an arrogant pain in the butt.' I sighed. Lily giggled. 'I could still put up with a man like that if he was that angelic.'

I grimaced. Unfortunately, I realised with distaste that the word 'angelic' was the perfect way to describe his appearance.

She got up then, pulling me up with her and holding my hands in hers. 'Anyway, it was nice to meet you Chizuru. I'll hold you to that promise of seeing me on your way back.' She giggled. I nodded, smiling at her. 'Thanks for your help last night.' I said. She squeezed my hands. 'No problem. I look forward to seeing you again.'

I smiled once more and with that she left me in my room alone to get ready.

* * *

We'd left the inn 20 minutes ago but we were still in town searching for a place to eat before we resumed our journey.

Kazama was in front, as usual. His back was to me like it always was whenever we walked anywhere. It was almost like a ritual now. The 2 other oni men were walking beside me and Shiranui appeared bored out of his brains. Amagiri looked as he did all the time; solemn, maybe scary to another but I could see in the blue of his eyes that he harboured no evil.

Shiranui kicked a rock and it rolled into the foot of a table as we passed a shopfront. 'How do you feel anyway? Not hungover, are you?' He asked cheekily. I blushed, shaking my head. 'Uh… no. I'm fine.' I mumbled. Shiranui chuckled. 'Do you remember much?' He interrogated. I was forced to shake my head. 'Almost nothing.' I sighed. He didn't speak after that, but the smirk on his face made me want to press for details. Had I actually done something bad last night? To Kazama? He certainly looked less than impressed but then again, he almost always did. I played with my cape as we walked, admiring how the dark navy seemed to glint in the sunlight. I really didn't deserve the clothes he bought me, any of them. Not the mauve kimono he had made for our date, nor the expensive western clothes I was wearing now. Did he really have all this money laying around that he could waste on buying clothes like these? I noticed when I'd worn his yukata that it also had the same rich, elegant feel.

My thoughts were interrupted by the murmurs around us. I was used to them, going into villages with Kazama. I had grown accustomed to the faint giggles from women as we passed and the envious stares I got from being in his company. It was almost amusing how I seemed to be the only woman that didn't desire him. How ironic that it was also me that he wanted.

After some time of walking, Shiranui finally spoke again. 'That's the fifth restaurant we've passed.' He said neutrally. Kazama didn't say anything, which I knew he wouldn't as soon as Shiranui had opened his mouth. I could tell Kazama wasn't in a talking mood, not even to scold someone.

My mouth watered as we passed a dango stall. I hadn't eaten since last night's meal with the girls. If Kazama noticed I wanted some, he didn't show it.

Silently he walked in front of us and silently we followed.

'Chizuru Yukimura?' I heard a woman squeak. We all turned to stare at the young woman walking the opposite way to us, a basket of vegetables in her hand. I pressed my hand to my mouth as I recognised her. 'Asuka-san!' I squealed, breaking away from the men to hug the woman whose husband my father treated when he'd broken his leg in Edo. I'd sat with her often when we visited their house. They were newlyweds at the time and when her husband couldn't work anymore she started to sell clothes at the markets. I'd never seen embroidery as beautiful as hers.

'What on earth are you doing here?' She asked me, her gaze drifting to look at my companions. Her eyes settled on Kazama for a while, before his lethal glare forced her to turn back. She awaited my answer with the slightest red tinge to her cheeks. 'I'm just passing through. Do you live here now? I haven't seen you since you moved from Edo!' I said. She nodded, adjusting the basket of vegetables to the other arm. 'Hito and I moved once his leg healed. There are more opportunities for us here.' She said. She looked healthy and happy. 'Anyway.' She interrupted. 'Are you leaving the city or just arriving?'

I was aware of Kazama's glare becoming exceptionally more heated the longer he stared at me. He was urging me to cut the conversation short and I could feel any moment he was going to interrupt with something obnoxious. 'We will leave after we find somewhere to eat.' I said. Asuka grinned at me. 'Why don't you come eat with my husband and I? There's plenty of food and it will save you having to pay for it!' She suggested eagerly. I really wanted to. It had been at least 5 years since I'd seen her but I could feel the disdain radiating from Kazama. I turned towards him timidly and when our eyes locked I saw a surge of irritation. He was almost daring me to ask him so he could flip out.

I swallowed. 'Kazama-san…' I murmured. When I said his name, I saw his eye twitch. Despite him knowing exactly what I wanted he waited for me to ask him. 'Can we please have lunch with Asuka-san?' I said. Shiranui and Amagiri were watching the scene play out curiously and Asuka was looking at us like she was missing an inside joke. She obviously didn't know why it appeared such a big deal that I eat at her house. If only Kazama saw it that way too. It wasn't like I was asking him to drink a bottle of Ochimizu.

I blinked up at him again, edging a little closer. His lips tightened as I did so. 'Please, Kazama-san?' I begged quietly. He glared down at me. I could see the fight in his eyes. He was trying so hard not to give in, I could see, but he finally let out a frustrated sigh. 'Fine.' He muttered. Excitement swelled within me and I clasped my hands. 'Thank you!' I almost squealed, beaming up at him. I couldn't believe he'd said yes. I really expected him to say no given his current bad mood.

I turned back to Asuka and she was already grinning. 'Alright, that settles it. Hito is going to be ecstatic when he sees you.' She laughed. I nodded, following her as she started to walk in the opposite direction to where we'd been heading. I could still feel Kazama glaring at me like he wanted me to feel _exactly_ how disagreeable this whole situation was for him. I felt a little guilty dragging them along like this but I knew Asuka would make something delicious.

We chatted lightly as we walked. 'So what are you doing here?' I asked curiously. She smiled, like she was already excited to tell me. 'I decided that I would continue what I did in Edo. I'm now a seamstress so I make all sorts of beautiful clothes for people.' She said. I was happy she'd found something she liked doing because she had hated selling vegetables in the market, which is what she did before her husband broke his leg. I noticed she kept looking at my outfit curiously. 'Speaking of clothes, why are you wearing a soldier's uniform?' She asked. I blushed. 'Long story.' I chuckled, and her eyes gleamed in amusement as she saw I wanted to leave it at that.

After a while we came to a small side street where the houses were slightly less dense. It was peaceful. 'Well. Here we are.' She said, opening the gate to her residence. She had a tiny front garden, but she took care of it. It reminded me of Sen's garden. We walked through the gate and up to her front door. I pushed it open because she had her hands full and I walked in first. Kazama was at the back for once, but even though he was behind me I could still feel him brooding. No doubt I'd be scolded for this day for weeks to come.

'Hito! I'm back!' She trilled, gesturing for us to follow her into the main room. It was comfortably furnished, with beautiful cushions and a luscious dark wooden table in the centre. When Hito looked up from reading and saw me, his face was blank for a few seconds. Asuka laughed as he stared motionless and she went over to kiss her husband's head. He was quite a handsome man, with chestnut hair and eyes. They had only been maybe 18 or 19 when they married but I could see he had matured quite a bit since then. 'Chizuru?' He suddenly stammered, his eyes widening by the second. I laughed as he gave me a big hug, which I could sense Kazama didn't approve of but I chose to ignore him for the moment. 'What are you doing here?' He gasped. I laughed, telling him what I told Asuka. After he'd calmed down he turned to face his guests. 'I'm Hito. Nice to meet you.' He said, his eyes sliding over them cautiously but not unkindly. Hito had never been one to judge by appearances. Amagiri bowed to him politely and Shiranui smiled, inclining his head. Kazama of course wasn't even looking at anyone. He had turned his smouldering gaze to the side.

'Please. Have a seat.' He instructed. My companions immediately did so but he stopped me when I went to join them. 'Has Asuka told you about our two little surprises?' He asked me with a delirious grin on his face. I'd finally noticed she'd left us and I frowned at him. 'Surprises?'

No sooner had he said that did I hear Asuka cooing as she walked back into the room. My jaw dropped and I put my hands over my mouth. 'What?!' I laughed, going over cautiously to the two toddlers in Asuka's arms. Both girls, with wispy brown hair and giant brown eyes. They were so adorable I felt like crying. They probably weren't much past 2 years old. 'Twins?' I questioned, noticing uncomfortably as they blinked at the same time. They both had their hands in their mouths, regarding me somewhat curiously. 'You bet. Here, take Megumi.' She said. I was so excited that I took her straight from her arms without a second thought. Megumi, dressed in a sweet green kimono, came to me without much fuss. I resisted to urge to break down into tears of moe as she put her little arms around my neck and stared into my eyes. I felt like I was going to melt into a puddle and cease to exist. I was in love with them already. 'Hey.' I cooed softly, placing her on my hip. She just looked at me as I sat down and I held her to me tightly. Hito took off into the kitchen after kissing his wife's cheek. 'And this here is Naiko. Say hello, sweetheart.' Asuka said once her husband was gone, encouraging her with a little jolt. Dressed in a pink kimono, she was staring at Kazama with a slobbery fist in her mouth. 'Oh, do you like his pretty hair?' Asuka crooned, coming over to me to sit down.

I took a peek at Kazama to gauge his reaction. He was looking at me so intensely I couldn't help but blush but he no longer appeared angry. This was a different kind of gaze, but it bore holes into me nonetheless. I looked down at Megumi again to distract myself. She was growing a little bit more comfortable and had finally started to move against my body and I placed her in my lap. 'They're so adorable.' I sighed, and Asuka laughed. 'Aren't they? Such good girls too. They sleep through the night, keep each other company… they're perfect children.' She laughed. Naiko was still looking at Kazama and Asuka set her on the floor to wander. 'Anyway I'm going to get a start on lunch.' She said, getting up off the cushion. I started to rise too and she frowned at me, gesturing for me to stay down. 'It's ok, it won't take me long. Keep my babies occupied.' She giggled. I nodded, turning back to the two twins as she left the room.

Kazama was still glaring at me but I didn't want to think about the reason behind his stare while I was holding a child. For a split second I thought about if… if I did have his children. I wondered what kind of father he would be. I honestly didn't know. I imagined holding a little blond haired brown eyed boy in my arms, but it didn't take me long to dismiss the image. What was wrong with me, fantasising about weird things like that? I'd never tell him of course because he'd start pestering me but I'd always wanted children ever since I could remember. Whether it was because of the lack of my own family or just the fact I felt like a child would complete me I didn't know, but what I _did_ know that I was crazy for even imagining a scenario where we'd had a child together. But still… I couldn't help the warm feeling enter my chest of holding my own child in my arms even if he was its father. I had a feeling he would make beautiful children.

Turning my attention back to the toddlers as I began to get flustered, I noticed that Naiko was trying to crawl onto the table. I laughed, plucking her off the side with one arm. 'Come on.' I urged, pulling her close to me with Megumi who was now strewn across my lap and playing with the hilt of my kodachi. Hito entered the room shortly after I'd wrestled his daughter off the table. He had tea on a tray for us and he placed it down. I set the twins to the side. 'I'll do it.' I offered as he went to pour the tea. He smiled at me gratefully, settling down on a cushion. 'Thank you.' He said. I poured us each a cup, pushing it to the corners of the table closest to where everyone was sitting. Hito didn't wait until I'd finished before he asked me a question. 'So what brings you here, anyway? It's a long way from Edo.' He asked. I brought my own tea close to me. 'I left from Kyoto where I've been staying for the last four years.' I said. Hito frowned. 'I never would have thought Kodo would move to Kyoto.' He mused. I lowered my eyes. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to tell them that he had died, because they would question me. And I didn't want to be questioned about my dead father.

But I didn't have time to answer because a deep voice interrupted. 'Careful.' He said. The tone I heard in his voice was weird, like it was almost… concerned. When I looked up, I was gobsmacked at the scene before me. Kazama had grabbed Naiko's hand softly as she went to reach for the open teapot. I never thought I'd see the day where he willingly touched a human, especially to protect them. The scene left me a little dumbfounded but it ended as quickly as it began. Hito sighed, unaware of the gravity of what had occurred. 'Silly girl.' He sighed, placing a lid on the teapot and pushing it further into the middle of the table. 'Thank you… uh…' Hito frowned as he realised then that he knew none of their names. Sparing Kazama the agony of introducing himself to a human, I did it for him. 'I'm sorry, Hito-san. I forgot to introduce my companions. This is Kazama, Shiranui and Amagiri.' I said, gesturing to them in turn. Hito nodded, thanking me with a relieved glance. 'Only their last names? Why the formality?' He chuckled. I went red, unable to give an answer. Hito hadn't looked like he was expecting one anyway and he turned back to Kazama. 'Thank you again. This little one is indeed the most reckless out of the two.' He chuckled, picking Naiko up. I smiled as she giggled. He kissed her forehead lovingly before setting her back down. 'When can we expect some little ones from you, Chizuru? You must be almost 21 now right?' He teased. I went red, wishing that joke had not come out of his mouth in front of Kazama. If we had have been alone I wouldn't have even blushed over it. 'Yes, almost. But no little ones from me anytime soon.' I mumbled. Hito's laugh was slightly impish as he saw how the question had flustered me. I resisted the urge to squirm uncomfortably as Kazama's gaze returned full force. I knew exactly what he was thinking about and it was disconcerting. I didn't like these thoughts entering my head of what it would be like to have his children and it was even worse than they were making me feel so clucky.

Suddenly I heard something crash in the kitchen. Hito twisted around curiously. 'You ok, honey?' He asked. 'Yes!' Was her enthusiastic reply. He chuckled, watching Naiko softly as she played with the hem of his yukata. I heard a quiet noise come from Megumi who had grown bored of my kodachi. She was now trying to stand up, holding onto me for support. I smiled at her. 'Can you walk yet?' I cooed, taking her hands in mine as she stood. She wobbled a little but seemed determined to stay upright. 'They can walk a little bit.' Hito said, taking a sip of his tea. I turned back to Megumi and softly let go of her hands, giggling as she tottered over to me and grabbed onto my cape again. 'Good girl.' I said, picking her up and holding her to my chest. She made soft cooing sounds as I held her. 'Mmm… mama.' She babbled. I gasped, turning to face Hito. 'She talks!' I giggled. Hito laughed too, taking a sip of his tea. 'They normally talk their heads off but I think they're a little shy.' He said, reaching over to tickle Megumi's feet. She giggled, squirming against my chest.

Asuka entered not long after, drying her hands with a kitchen towel. 'Ok it won't be long.' She said, coming over to sit beside her husband. She laughed as she saw Megumi in my arms. 'She's taken a liking to you. Megumi is normally the shyer one. Unlike little Naiko here.' She said, plucking her off the ground and she went to crawl towards Kazama, who she'd seemed to have developed a fascination for. Once again I pondered why he didn't seem overcome with disgust when he watched them. It may have been the first time I'd seen him regard a human without appearing like he wanted them dead.

Naiko wriggled back out of her mother's arms and crawled quickly over to Kazama. When she grabbed onto his cape and tried to crawl into his lap, I panicked. He may have not looked at them with scorn but I knew that them touching him would have been going a little too far. He tensed a little as she crawled into his lap and I saw that as my sign to move. 'Naiko!' I called nervously, getting up to move beside Kazama. 'Come here.' I said, as she reached up to tug on the cord of his cape. When I went to grab her she made a noise of disapproval and clung to his shirt tightly. Kazama didn't move as I tried to pull her off him but she was holding on so firmly that she wouldn't come off. Asuka was laughing, as was her husband. 'She's a stubborn one, that girl.' He chuckled. I laughed a little as I saw she wasn't going to budge and Kazama sighed. 'Just leave her.' He said. He was wearing a tepid expression but didn't seem angered, so I did what he said and let her go. Naiko knew I'd given up because she released his shirt and resumed pulling on his clothing.

I was really confused by his behaviour. I never thought I'd see the day where he let a human child crawl all over him. I knew that above all he hated it when human's touched him. Even in the street if one brushed against him I could see the struggle in his eyes not to turn around and cut them open. I decided to sit beside him instead of moving back to my previous spot because if he _did_ lose patience with them, I wanted to be there to take them away quickly before he lost his cool. I didn't think he'd do anything to a child, even a human child… but the more irritated he got here the more I would cop it when we left.

'Honey, could you help me bring lunch in?' Asuka asked her husband. He nodded. 'Of course.' Hito responded, getting up from his place on the floor and pulling his wife up gently with him. She giggled and they disappeared into the kitchen together. I was overjoyed that they both seemed just as in love as they had been 5 years ago, if not moreso. It was amazing what a few children could do. I turned back to peer at Naiko who was now reaching for Kazama's fringe. She was making little noises of desperation and I couldn't help but laugh, reaching across to push her own fringe from her eyes. 'You are a troublesome one, aren't you?' I giggled. She completely ignored me, pouting as her little fingers failed to reach the golden strands of his hair. Kazama sighed as he dipped his head, lowering his fringe into her reach. Naiko immediately grabbed a fistful of it in both hands, squeezing like she expected it to feel different to her own. My lips parted slightly as he let her play.

Shiranui and Amagiri were watching too, Shiranui slightly more confused. Amagiri didn't really look surprised and I wondered if that's because this didn't shock him. He had known Kazama for a long time, I presumed, so perhaps this behaviour with children was something he had seen before. For the first time I pondered if there was something other than duty behind his desire for a child. Watching him now my instincts as a woman told me that it was indeed something else. I could see something when I watched him, a hidden longing in the way his eyes rested on Naiko as she tugged on the strands of his hair. The sight made my skin flush.

Did Kazama want children because he was… lonely?

I'd never really thought too hard about that possibility. After all, he never really seemed to express many emotions apart from anger and displeasure and that made it hard to get to know what he was really thinking. In addition, every time he'd voiced his want for a child he always paired it with how it was essential for his clan. He made it sound like it was just obligation but I could see now it may have been a little more than that. The revelation hit me harder than I ever thought it would and I didn't know why the possibility of him being lonely made me feel so sad. In that moment I knew there was a lot more to Kazama than I'd ever thought, a whole other side to him that he'd never shown me.

Naiko made sounds at him like he was expecting him to understand and I had to laugh at the desperation in her eyes as she tried to communicate. It was just too adorable for words. She let go of his fringe and plonked herself down in his lap, reaching for the hilt of his katana like Megumi had reached for mine. She made soft sounds to herself, almost singing, as she tried desperately to pull it from its sheath. Kazama stopped her promptly as she pulled an inch of blade out. 'You really are fearless.' He sighed. I felt the red enter my cheeks as he picked her up and placed her back in his lap. She reached her arms up to him, clenching and unclenching her fingers in an attempt to convey that she wanted to be held again. 'Pick up!' She urged. I was shocked that she'd spoken to him, but it was so cute I had to smile a little. He did what she asked, holding him to her chest as she continued to play with his hair. Seeing him act so tenderly with a child was doing weird things to me.

Naiko finally removed her fingers from his hair as her parents entered with lunch. They placed it down on the table and my mouth watered as I saw what they'd brought out. 'That looks so good.' I said yearningly. I was so hungry I was practically wasting away. Asuka placed down the bowls and chopsticks. 'Ok everyone, help yourselves. There's plenty here.' She said as she sat down in her own place. I didn't need to be asked twice. I poured soup into my bowl and chicken and vegetables into the other. 'I'm so hungry.' I said aloud. Asuka laughed. 'It's a good thing there's so much here then. You look like you could eat at least half by yourself.' She laughed. I blushed, picking up my chopsticks as I watched Amagiri and Shiranui gather food into their bowls. I looked at Kazama, who was preoccupied with Naiko and hadn't even touched his empty bowl yet. I sighed, going red as I prepared myself to speak. 'What do you want?' I asked him quietly as I picked up his bowl. He peered up at me, a smirk playing on his lips. 'Whatever you want to give me.' He answered. I noticed the twinge of amusement in his eyes and that combined with the sight of a child in his arms caused my stomach to tie in knots.

I turned abruptly back to the table and gave him a bit of everything, except for the beans. I'd noticed that at Sen's house a few weeks ago before we left for Ezo he hadn't eaten the beans she'd served for dinner that night. I supposed it was better to leave them out in case he didn't like them.

I put his bowl on the edge of the table close to him and he sent me a mischievous smile as I handed him his chopsticks. Managing to shift Naiko a little to the side, he started to eat.

I did the same once he'd released me from his gaze.

* * *

Amagiri bowed slightly while sitting. 'Thank you for the food.' He said politely as Asuka started to clear the dishes. She smiled at him. 'You're very welcome. I hope the meal was to your liking.' She said. He nodded. 'Very much so.' Amagiri was so well-mannered. I'd figured that out years ago. Shiranui thanked them too, as did Kazama with a slight tilt of the head.

As Asuka went to walk off, I stopped her. 'I'll help with the dishes.' I said. I got up off the floor, placing Megumi to the side as I rose. It was the least I could do for them. She led me into the kitchen and placed the bowls down on the table. 'Did you like it?' She asked me. I grinned. 'It was delicious, thank you. I hadn't eaten since early last night.' I said. She gestured for me to bring the dishes over to the tub of water she'd prepared to wash them in. 'You were here last night? Where did you stay?' She asked me. I couldn't remember the name of the inn. 'Umm… well I stayed at the place located in the middle of the main street. The one with the red banners and lanterns out the front.' I said. She frowned. 'You stayed at the brothel?' She asked. I gaped at her a little, before regaining my composure. 'Uh… I guess. Kazama-san had a meeting there with some people.' I said. She nodded, although still slightly surprised. 'Who is he exactly?' She asked. I knew that question would come up at some stage. There was no way I could sum up the complexity of our relationship into one title, so I said the first word that came to mind. 'He's a friend.' I said. She raised an eyebrow. 'I see. A friend, or a _friend_?' She stretched the last word out to ensure I understood that she was implying something. I instantly went red. 'Just a friend.' I said, maybe a little too forcefully. She watched my reaction with entertainment. 'Well, that's disappointing. The way he looked at you that whole time suggested otherwise.' She sighed. Before I could splutter out a response, she'd changed the subject. 'So what's the real reason you're passing through? Especially in the company of 3 men? They all seem so serious which is not at all like you.' She noted, pulling up the sleeves of her kimono. I dried the dishes as she washed them. 'Uh… well.' I bit my lip as I wondered what I should tell her. 'I'm going to Ezo because Kazama-san has a few things to take care of.' I said. Asuka looked like she had at least a thousand more questions to ask me. 'Is he your guardian now? Where is your father?' She asked. I could tell that now we were alone, she was going to press for an answer until she got one.

I wanted to lie to her. I really did, but I couldn't. As the words formed on my tongue I felt the tears burn behind my eyes. 'He… he passed away.' I murmured. Asuka put down her washing cloth to regard me softly. There was such pain and pity in her eyes, as well as guilt for asking the question. 'Chizuru-chan…' She said softly. As I saw the look on her face, the pain of losing my father surfaced afresh. Even though he wasn't my real father, and even after all the bad things he'd done, he had still cared for me for 10 years. In those years I never lacked love or attention. He had treated me like I was his own daughter.

'I'm so sorry.' She said as she pulled me into a tight hug. She stroked my hair like I imagined a mother would and I fought back the tears with all my might. 'How did he pass on?' She asked. I definitely couldn't tell her the truth about that one. I couldn't say that the very man who I was travelling with killed him as that would force me to explain a lot more than I was willing to disclose. 'He died from an illness.' I said, trying to keep my voice level. I wasn't angry with Kazama for killing my father; after all, he had refused to change his ways and Kazama had warned me what would happened if I couldn't persuade him. Even still, some part of me still believed he hadn't needed to die. He'd been the last of my family left.

Asuka let me go tenderly. 'I'm sorry. I never should have pried into it. I could sense you didn't want to say anything.' She sighed. I shook my head. 'It's ok. It was a while ago so I'm coping alright.' I said. She closed her eyes, as if it pained her to hear me say that. 'I don't mean it as a pity present but I have something that I want you to have. I made them a while ago but have never had someone to give them to.' She said. I felt the tears recede as I grew curious. 'What's that?' I asked. She grinned. 'Wait here.' She said, patting my shoulders. I watched her leave the room and I was left in the silence by myself.

I didn't want to admit it, but speaking about my father just then had put me into a sombre mood. I'd noticed since his death that my grief manifested itself in waves. One day I'd be fine, then the next it would hit me so hard I couldn't breathe. It had been like this once the shock had calmed down and I'd had a few months to process the fact he wasn't here anymore.

I started to wash the dishes that she'd abandoned but I didn't get very far until she returned. She had something hidden behind her back and she gestured for me to dry my hands. 'I made these last year but they were just so pretty I couldn't bear to sell them. But since you're travelling, you look like you could use them.' She said, pulling her hands out from behind her back. It was a pair of beautiful gloves, cobalt blue with silver and sky blue embroidery. The pattern was so intricate I had to squint to make sure I was seeing things correctly. It was covered with butterflies.

I took them from her and slid my fingers over the cloth. The underside of the gloves were thicker, with darker blue fabric. They seemed to be extremely high quality. 'They're durable since I used quality material. You can use them for warmth or to protect your hands when riding. Make sure you wash them in cold water though and don't use any soaps or the colours might fade. But they won't split or fray, I promise.' She said as she watched me admire them. I hugged her. 'Thank you, they're beautiful. I will definitely use them.' I said. She seemed pleased that they would serve a purpose for me. 'I'm glad. Go on, try them on.' She urged. I smiled as I slipped them onto my hands. The inside was so soft and warm and they fit surprisingly well. 'They're perfect.' I laughed, flipping my hands over to examine the darker fabric. I noticed that this side wasn't embroidered but the colour shimmered in the light similar to the way my coat did.

I took them off and slid them into the pocket on my pants. 'Thank you.' I said again, and she took my hand. 'You're welcome. Now let's finish washing so we can relax.' She said.

I nodded, and we chatted pleasantly as we finished the rest of the dishes.

* * *

Asuka hugged me as I went to leave.

We were standing out the front of their house, ready to resume our journey. 'Thank you for the food and the gloves, too.' I said to her as she let me go. She smiled warmly, much like how Sen did. 'That's ok. Be safe on your travels.' She advised and I nodded. 'I will. On my way back I'll be sure to drop in and say hi.' I laughed. Asuka laughed too and picked up Megumi, who was tugging at the bottom of her kimono. 'Please do. I'm sure these little rascals would enjoy it.'

Hito gave me a hug too. 'You're welcome back anytime, as are your companions.' He said. I smiled at the kindness in his eyes. 'Thank you.'

I turned to walk back to the 3 oni men who were waiting for me at the gate. Amagiri bowed to them as I waved goodbye, shutting their front gate as we exited onto the street.

They waved back, and I gave them a warm smile before I turned my back to them.

I wished I could have stayed a little longer, but I couldn't afford to waste anymore days. Kazama didn't speak, even as we found our way back onto the main street. He didn't seem to be in a foul mood anymore but I didn't want to risk him snapping at me by talking. The fact that he let us eat there was good enough for me.

We left the city without speaking, ready for the next part of our journey.


	16. Practice makes perfect

**NyaPowa-** haha I'm glad you liked the chapter.. apart from the last part. I agree she didn't do anything wrong but I put it in there because it does fit her character and also reflects how she's not yet 100% comfortable with Kazama yet to speak to him in such a way and not apologise (even though he'd been a total prick to her and jumped with her off a cliff). That chapter was so fun to write though and it will definitely serve as a fun story for Amagiri and Kyo to share around :D

 **Guest 3446-** Thank you so much! I'm very happy you like my story to that extent. I post a new chapter (sometimes multiple) every 3-4 days so keep a look out :)

* * *

 **Practice makes perfect**

I yawned as I entered our campsite, thoroughly exhausted. For the past 3 days we had left at dawn and stopped at dusk, making up for the collective time that we'd lost so far on our journey.

I had just come back from bathing in nearby river where I'd washed off 3 days' worth of sweat and grime. Shiranui was laying on the branch of a tree and appeared to be asleep among the leaves, one leg dangling down. Amagiri was sitting at the base of another with his eyes closed. I could tell he wasn't asleep but in quiet, contemplative thought. Kazama was sitting in front of the fire as he often was, looking pensively into the flames. The reflection of the fire in his eyes made them seem even redder than they were, molten like the inside of a volcano. The golden light illuminated his pale skin and the awe I felt from his appearance caused me to blush. I should have known by now not to look at him for too long.

I shoved my things back into my bag and brought myself over to the fire to brush my hair like I always did on the nights I bathed. I started to brush my hair, closing my eyes as the warmth of the fire almost lulled me to sleep. I was always at peace at night. The crisp air and the chirping of insects was something I'd always loved about night-time. When I'd been younger, my father and I would often go for short walks in the cool night air just because it was tranquil. We'd look up at the stars and he'd point out the constellations, telling me that some people could use them to navigate. That was an idea so extraordinary to me since I couldn't even find my way around with a map. The thought that people could do it using the stars seemed almost impossible.

When I'd finishing brushing my hair, I packed it away into my bag and went to sit back down near the fire. I'd only been sitting for a few minutes when I felt Kazama's eyes lift to look at me. I got tingles as I thought about how he'd stared at me in Asuka's house when I'd been holding Megumi. There had been a different kind of hunger in his eyes.

He shifted a little on the grass, not taking his gaze off me. 'Are you fully recovered from the irresponsible use of your clan power last week?' He asked. I peeked up at him, surprised at his question. 'Uh… yeah.' I responded. It had been a few days now since my energy had returned to normal. I no longer felt that strange, crushing tiredness. However, I was still having trouble coming to terms that I was actually capable of that. Even though it had been a week I still couldn't believe I'd used my powers, even though I'd been relatively unable to control them.

He put down the blade of grass I noticed he'd been twirling around in his graceful fingers. When he looked at me finally, his ruby gaze gave me goosebumps. 'Then tonight I will teach you how to switch to your oni form.'

I gaped at him, getting up on my knees in excitement. 'Really? Now?' I spluttered. Amagiri had opened one eye to look at us both but he shut it lazily when Kazama gave his answer. 'Yes, tonight. Now calm down. You won't be able to do anything if you let your mind be distracted by petty things.' He sighed. I shut my mouth but could still barely contain myself. I was ridiculously excited. He beckoned me to come closer to him and I got to my feet and walked around to him hesitantly. Now that the time had finally come, I didn't know if I was truly ready to see myself with horns and gold eyes. What would I look like? Would it be easy to change? Would I be able to change back? All these questions were buzzing in my head but my mind was too boggled to ask them.

Kazama turned to face me as I sat down beside him. 'Normally you would have had your first transition at about 15 years of age, so it may be a little bit more difficult for you to transform because you're older.' He warned. I frowned. '15?' I questioned. In the dream I'd had the other night, where I'd resurrected that man, I'd changed at the age of 7. 'Is it possible to transition earlier?' I inquired. He seemed confused why I'd asked the question but he answered anyway. 'It's possible but rare. Generally it only occurs when the child is under great stress. Now listen up and concentrate on what I tell you.' He ordered, and I nodded. Kazama let out a deep breath. 'You must have felt the power inside of you when you healed yourself and the horse that night. That same power will allow you to change; you just need to learn how to direct it.' He explained. 'If you know how to channel it where you want, then you can learn how to use the rest of your oni abilities as it is this power that fuels them. However, if you use too much power and allow it to drain from you, you'll die.' He deadpanned. I bit my lip as I heard the accusation in his voice. Not being aware of this last week, I had tried to force all of my power into Yuki and my shoulder on that night. I had thought the more the better, but the reality was I could have healed us both with much less power. I had almost killed myself because of my lack of knowledge.

Once he'd confirmed that I realised he was reprimanding me, he gave me my next instruction. 'Close your eyes and try to find that power. You will feel the buzz of its energy when you retreat into meditation and when you do, take a little of it and push it outwards to your skin. It might feel a little odd but don't shy away from that sensation. You will eventually have to learn to mould it so you can use all your abilities.' He said. I nodded, and he gestured for me to begin.

It was awkward to do this in front of him, especially because I could _feel_ him looking at me, but I closed my eyes anyway. I feared that he already knew I wouldn't be able to do it. I sat there without moving and tried to slow down my breathing, to focus on trying to search for the power I knew I had but it was proving more difficult than I thought. All I could focus on was my own hectic, excited thoughts; I could get nowhere near close to successful meditation. After a few minutes of nothing, sitting there squirming in front of him, I knew my oni form wouldn't be awoken without a fight. He saw me struggling and sighed. 'I told you to concentrate.' He sighed. I tensed up a little but kept my eyes closed as I resumed trying to calm myself down. I tried to breathe deeply and relax my muscles but I couldn't shake the feeling of his eyes on my skin. I couldn't calm my thoughts down long enough to look deep within myself. When I attempted to find the power inside of me there was nothing but emptiness. Not a single spark of energy I could use to summon the powers that had manifested themselves so easily last week.

'Stop fidgeting and concentrate.' He said again, a little bit more irritated than last time. I opened my eyes and gave him a frustrated look. 'I can't when you keep talking.' I said, instantly regretting talking back to him when he raised an eyebrow at me. However, he seemed amused. 'I wasn't aware my presence proved so distracting to you.' He purred. I clenched my teeth at his response. 'Fine. I'll try again.' I muttered, closing my eyes just in time to miss his vexing smirk. I tried once more to soothe myself, taking in deep breaths and trying to focus on relaxing both my mind and body. Kazama didn't speak or move, but the knowledge that he was right in front of me regarding me with his disparaging eyes unnerved me more than I cared to admit.

After a few more unsuccessful minutes, Kazama interrupted me again. 'I can tell your mind is much too busy.' He sighed. I regarded him with annoyance. 'That's not _my_ fault.' I said, crossing my arms. He appeared to be in the mood to toy with me so he continued to jest. 'You don't want me to demonstrate it myself again do you?' He teased. I went red, turning away. He chuckled at my reaction. 'Something tells me that would make it harder for you to concentrate anyway.'

I pouted as he provoked me. I knew if I kept going, he was going to get more and more insufferable. He had a quick wit and could read me like a book so irking me was an easy feat. However, I couldn't let his comments slide. I was too frustrated with my inability to focus to let him get away with irritating me, especially because it _was_ his fault. 'I was merely curious.' I retorted bluntly. He seemed to find great pleasure in the fact I'd chosen to continue disputing him. He leaned back on one arm, looking at me in such a way that I felt my self-control start to evaporate. 'I saw more than curiosity in your eyes. But don't feel ashamed. It's only normal for you to be drawn to me. The oni woman in the market said we are destined to be together, after all.' He purred, eyes twinkling. I winced at his self-indulging words, hating how they got under my skin so easily. 'That woman was obviously delusional. And I am in no way drawn to you.' I asserted, shaking my head to reinforce my words.

The more I spoke, the haughtier he grew. He was so unbearable when he got like this because every word he said managed to push my buttons and he knew it. He'd always known what to say to get the reaction he wanted. 'The way you touched me in my oni form begs to differ.' He goaded. I regarded him sharply, trying unsuccessfully to hide my humiliation. 'Well I only did it to see how your horns felt, that's all.' I countered. He regarded me smugly. It was evident he didn't believe me which was no surprise. I was a terrible liar and always had been and my red cheeks were giving me away as well. 'That was more than just curiosity. You're not even aware of what that action symbolises, but since you're so drawn to me you would have probably still touched me even if you did know what it meant.' He said. He had managed to gain my real curiosity with that statement. I frowned up at him. 'What do you mean?' I asked. He grinned at me, the way he had the night he'd changed. 'I don't blame you for not knowing because you were raised amongst peasants. But if you ask me nicely I'll tell you what it means.' He said, almost as a challenge. I was still confused but I wasn't sure if I wanted to know. It could have meant anything. 'It doesn't matter what it meant to you. I'm telling you that I only did it because I wanted to see what they felt like.' I muttered. He shrugged then, closing his eyes and chuckling. 'Good thing Sen didn't see you do it. I would have gotten slapped again with that irritating fan of hers for letting you touch me like that.' He sighed reflectively.

Shiranui was peering down at us now, a cheeky smile on his face. Amagiri appeared amused as well. Was this some kind of twisted inside joke that I wasn't privy to? I was getting more and more annoyed and embarrassed that there seemed to be an ulterior meaning to how I'd touched him. I frowned. 'Well whatever it means I don't care. You can't blame me for anything because I didn't know.' I said, getting frustrated by everyone's all-knowing glares. Kazama just shrugged again non-committedly. 'I almost _want_ to tell you, just to see your reaction. But I think it's much too amusing that you don't know.'

I finally had enough. 'Well then tell me what it means so I can tell you that you're wrong.' I said gallingly. That seemed to be the request he was waiting for and he pursed his lips slightly. 'Hmm… I don't know. I do enjoy seeing you so flustered.'

I pressed my hand to my forehead, sighing. I'd already had enough of him for one day. 'Suit yourself. I'm going to be over there concentrating since you won't let me do it here.' I said, standing up. He watched me leave with a grin. 'You need my help, remember?' He said. I shook my head. 'No I don't. You've told me what I need to do and I can't do it when I can feel your eyes on me all the time.' I said, sitting down on my futon and turning my back to him. He wasn't giving up yet, though. 'That's entirely your fault.' He said playfully. I sighed again, regarding him with frustration. 'It's _not_ my fault! You're…'

Suddenly he was right in front of me.

Before I could even blink from surprise, he'd pressed a finger to my lips. 'It _is_ your fault.' He said in a low voice, so richly that I quivered in my skin. He smirked as I didn't respond. 'How could I not look at you? Even when you wake up in the morning with your hair in a mess, I can't help but be transfixed by you. You don't even know what you do to me.' His words made my cheeks burn and coupled with the heat of his gaze I was rendered mute. He lifted his finger off my lips, smirking, but didn't make an effort to move further away from me. He was sitting on my futon and leaning in so close I could feel the heat radiating off his skin. 'It's also your fault because of your provocative behaviour at the inn. You're not making it easy for me to control myself.' He sighed, flicking a strand of my drying hair out of my face. With his humiliating comment I was finally roused from my silence. I went bright red as I pushed his hand from me. 'I did not act provocatively! And even if I did, I would never have done that if I was sober.' I scolded. I remembered virtually nothing from that night but I was certain I would never act that way towards him. No matter how drunk I had gotten, surely I hadn't crossed that line. His lips twisted in amusement at my retort. 'You wouldn't have done half the things you did that night if you were sober. Like call me Kazama-sama, for example.'

I gaped at him. 'I did not call you Kazama-sama!' I squeaked. He chuckled. 'Did you also not ask me how many children I wanted, or tell me that you would cook for me when we got married? You even asked me if I'd been with other women. Such a jealous girl.' He teased. I really couldn't hide my shock at that comment. It was beyond ridiculous that a question like that would leave my mouth, even if I was drunk. I folded my arms and moved away from him a little. 'You're making things up now.' I said defensively. He grinned and reached out to tug me back to him. 'You should know by now I don't lie.' He brushed his fingers down my jaw. 'But at least I know how to get you to marry me.' He breathed. His words confused me but I snorted anyway. 'There's nothing that could get me to marry you.'

When I went to push his hand away again, he dodged it. I frowned, about to scold him when he slipped his hand behind my head and pulled me closer to his face. 'Are you sure about that? That's not what you said to me as you held my hands that night.' My blush worsened at his words. 'Whatever I said and did is void because I wasn't thinking clearly.' I retorted. He sighed, feigning disappointment. 'So you won't marry me?' I blinked as he pulled me a little closer. I tried half-heartedly to push him further away, the scene reminding me of when I'd been dressed as a geisha and he'd tried to kiss me. Unfortunately I realised our proximity didn't bother me as much now as it had in the past. 'Never. Now let me go.' I mumbled. He chuckled as his other hand came up to slide into my hair. He tilted my head back softly and looked down at me, eyes swirling.

It appeared as though he was going to kiss me, but he didn't. 'Not even if I fall in love with you?'

My mouth fell open and I scuttled out of his grasp, standing up and glaring down at him. Where had that come from? I was furious at myself as my heart pounded in my chest. Those words made me feel uncomfortable but not because they repulsed me. Because they didn't.

For a second all I could do was gawk at him.

After I'd managed to gather my brain cells I put my hands on my hips. 'Don't even joke.' I reproached. He chuckled as I finally spoke. 'Didn't you hear that woman in the market? Apparently you and I are to fall in love and spend the rest of our lives together. Does the idea of falling for me scare you?' He asked. His words seemed to come out of nowhere. I wanted to speak but I couldn't. Thinking about falling in love with Kazama was as absurd as it was last New Years' when we had gone on that date. Scared of falling in love with him? More like I just understood it would never happen. I gazed at him indignantly. 'I don't need to be scared because it won't happen. Oni or not, that lady had no idea what she was talking about. Now I'm going to go over there and concentrate since you insist on distracting me here with such absurd statements.' I snapped, storming away from the campsite and entering the forest. He let me go and I was relieved. I wouldn't have been able to take anymore of such talk. My skin was on fire, my heart was beating so furiously behind my breast I thought it would jump right out. How could he say that so calmly? Was he not ashamed to talk so openly about such things? And in front of Shiranui and Amagiri as well!

I pouted as I went deeper into the forest, sitting down on the ground beside a tree. I could still hear the fire burning but the forest was so dense I couldn't see any of them. It felt good to be out of his presence where I knew I could think better but it would take at least a few more minutes before I was calm enough to start meditating again. I couldn't stop thinking about the feel of his fingers on my face and the burning of his eyes as he spoke.

 _Does the idea of falling for me scare you?_

I went rigid as his voice chanted the question in my mind over and over again. I wasn't scared. I already had feelings for Hijikata and to fall in love with Kazama would be unthinkable. He was so arrogant and broody. How could I be bound in matrimony to a man like that for the rest of my life?

But I'd seen other sides of him too. He had shown his capacity to be caring, thoughtful even. The way he'd tended to my wound and stayed up all night making sure I didn't die after I used my clan power was proof of that. He would fill up my water flask for me without being asked, stop often while travelling to make sure I didn't exhaust myself and no matter what sorts of things came from his mouth, I knew he would never, ever hurt me. No matter how angry he got or what I did.

I realised I did have an answer to the question he'd asked me a few days ago, whether or not I trusted him. The answer was that I did. Kazama was the only person who I was certain would never lie to me or break a promise. In some cases, I would trust him over people I'd known for years.

Realising I was making it harder for myself to concentrate, I banished all thoughts of him out of my head. I needed to focus so I could find the power inside me needed to transform.

I closed my eyes and let out the deep breath I was holding. I let my shoulders sink, my hands relax. The sounds of the night insects soothed me as did the crisp air that brushed over my skin and through my drying hair. Alone, I was surprised how easy it was to calm myself. Without the heat of his eyes on my skin or the curious gazes from Shiranui and Amagiri, it required almost no effort to slip within my own consciousness and search for the sparks of power within me.

After I'd managed to block out all the sensations from the outside world, I was able to access a part of me I hadn't known existed. My mind was like a dark cave… but I could _feel_ something there. I could feel the dull hum of power in my body but it didn't seem to want to come to me readily like it had in the past. Gold tendrils of light were hiding deep within me, I could see their glow and I knew it was them that I needed to harness in order to transform. However, it was like they were shying away from me and I couldn't quite pry them away from the depths of my mind to be able to use them. Instead of getting frustrated like I normally would, I kept trying. I picked at it patiently as it struggled to stay glued to the sides of my mind. It seemed as though my power didn't want to be roused from its slumber but I was not going to give up until I had completely under my control.

I had no idea how long I'd been sitting there for but I was managing to unravel the coils of golden light one at a time. Being in such deep thought for so long was such an alien feeling but I was determined not to come back to reality until I'd gotten what I wanted. I wanted to transform. I wanted to use my powers by myself, without being encouraged by rage or sorrow like I had in the past. I needed to do this for myself, _as_ myself, in order for me to make any real progress. I couldn't rely on my emotions anymore to summon my abilities.

I clutched on tightly to the vines of gold within me, tightening my grasp as they fought viciously to stay within the crevices of my consciousness. I only grabbed half of them because I remembered Kazama telling me that I could die if I used them all, and I pulled them all up higher and higher out of the darkness. The higher up I pulled them, the hotter I could feel my skin becoming. I felt the familiar burning in my blood, the goosebumps on my skin. I struggled to stay calm as I realised I was succeeding and that I was starting to feel like how I did when I'd used my clan power. I was scared, it was true. I was filled with fear at the foreign sensation of having a power inside me that I hadn't known I possessed until recently and I could feel in the way it was thrashing against my mind's grip that it was completely untamed. In my 20 years of life, it had never been purposely sought. It was unused to the feeling of being summoned without the accompaniment of powerful emotions.

I dragged it upwards and started to work on what Kazama had told me. _Push it outwards to your skin._

I did as he'd told me, heaving the power upwards and lining the underside of my flesh with it. I felt the panic rise within me as I sensed my cells changing. My skin felt like it was contorting, unused to the process of transformation. I desperately tried to guard my serenity as I realised I was doing it right but combined with the burning in my body and the fear of losing control it was a difficult task.

The energy bubbling inside me was now spilling into the air around me, washing over the nature surrounding my body. I could feel the buzz of my own power, like I'd felt it from Kazama when he'd changed. It was almost choking me. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Suddenly, I felt warm hands shaking me from my concentration. 'Chizuru!' A deep voice called urgently.

The distraction caused me to let go off the coils of gold I'd fought so hard to find and they scattered instantly, disappearing into the darkness that they'd come from. I'd been so absorbed in meditation that it took a few more vigorous shakes to wrench me from the depth of my thought.

I realised when I awakened from my trance that I was shaking. Sweat had plastered my fringe to my forehead.

When Kazama had successfully torn me from meditation, I felt like I'd been pulled out from under water. I panted for breath as I gripped him, looking around frantically as I tried to figure out what had gone wrong. Kazama's blazing eyes were wide as they beheld me. 'What were you doing?' He almost yelled. He lifted my face up to look into my panicked eyes. I felt his hands sweep my fringe off my forehead. 'Chizuru! Answer me!'

My distress was only numbed by my exhaustion. I kept my fingers buried into his cape as I fought to stay awake. I was so scared of what was happening. I had no idea what had occurred. One minute I'd been perfectly calm, almost at the point of transforming and the next I'd woken up shaking and bathed in my own sweat. Kazama's warm hands returned to cup my face. 'Look at me. Now.' He ordered. He was distressed, I could hear it in his voice. I was looking up at him but his face was just a blur of white with two searing orbs of red in the middle.

I did nothing but shake as he picked me up into his arms and carried me back to the campsite. Placing me down on what I presumed was my futon, I realised I felt like I'd been roasting over a fire for the past few hours. My heart was pounding in my chest as Kazama pulled my cape and shoes off and the relief of cold air was so welcome that I felt tears in my eyes. I was still shaking as I felt him sit me up. 'Open your mouth and drink.' He snapped, pulling me against his body. I felt my flask press against my lips and when the water hit my tongue, I had to groan. The cold felt so nice cascading down my burning throat. I drank eagerly until there was no more water left and another flask was given to me promptly afterwards. As I cooled down a little and the fire in my skin started to die down, I was able to see a little clearer.

Kazama was looking down at me already, his lips pressed into a hard line. As he saw my shaking cease and the alertness return to my face he wasted no time in lecturing me. 'Are you an idiot?' He snapped. I peered down demurely at my body, noticing the patches of sweat. When I didn't answer he clicked his tongue to get my attention. 'Look at me! Up here!' He commanded. I was forced to shift my eyes back to him. 'What were you doing?' He repeated. I could tell he wouldn't stop yelling until I gave him an answer. I felt the tears fill my eyes as the events of the past few minutes hit me. What _had_ I been doing? What on earth had gone wrong? I swallowed the lump in my throat. 'I was trying to change.' I managed to whimper. His pupils were tiny slits now. 'Really? Because it looked to me like you were trying to kill yourself! Do you not have any regard for your own life?'

My lip quivered as the tears spilled from my eyes. 'I don't know what happened! I didn't do it deliberately!' I suddenly cried as all the feeling returned to my body. I tried to roll out of his grip but he wouldn't let me go. His anger started to deteriorate as he saw my tears but he hadn't finished interrogating me yet. 'I told you. You're not experienced enough to use your powers like that.' He growled. I wiped the tears from my face furiously. 'I didn't try to do anything other than transform! I did exactly as you said!' I argued. I didn't know what he thought I was doing but to me it had felt like I was only trying to change. I felt like I had almost done it, too. His face mellowed a little and he looked away from me. 'This is the third time you've almost died in my company on this trip.' He sighed. I blinked at the gentle tone of his voice as he lay me back down on my futon. The softness in his eyes wasn't there for long and soon he resumed scolding me. 'You obviously require constant supervision. I can't even trust you with something as simple as meditation. Do you know how long you were sitting there for, unresponsive?' He questioned incredulously. I bit my lip. 'Uh… 20 minutes?' I guessed, sitting up and hugging my knees. His lips twisted. 'You'd been sitting there for an hour.'

He narrowed his eyes at me when I gaped at him. 'Tell me what you were doing.' He ordered. It was no longer a question. I turned away from his scorching eyes. 'I did what you said. I was trying to find the power within me and when I found it I pushed it out to my skin. I felt like I was almost transforming, too, until you shook me.' I mumbled. His eye twitched. 'I was shaking you because any longer and you would have died of heat stroke.' He snapped. I frowned at him defensively. 'Then why did it happen? In my mind nothing was wrong.' I said. He pressed his hand to his forehead, like I was an idiot. 'You don't need to summon that much power to change. How much did you try to use?' He accused. I licked my dry lips. 'Well, I didn't use it all if that's what you think I did. I only used about half of the power I could see…' I trailed off as he sighed. He ran his fingers through his hair like he always did when he was frustrated with me. 'You only need a little bit to activate your lesser abilities and to transform, only a spark. I've already told you that using all your power like that will kill you. Do you even listen to me?' He chastised. I blushed, crossing my arms as I felt the anger build up within me. 'You didn't tell me how much I needed to use, you only said don't use it all. And I didn't. So forgive me for making an honest mistake.' I muttered. Warm hands cupped my face and I peered up at him in surprise. The look on his face was placid and tender, definitely not an expression I'd seen too often from him. The way he was looking at me made my heart flutter. 'A mistake that almost killed you. I swear, you'll be the death of me as well if you keep doing things like this.' He sighed. My lips parted as he regarded me with gentle eyes, his eyebrows slightly creased.

For a few seconds we just looked at each other, and his thumb slid across my cheeks to collect the tears on my face. It was so silent I could hear his breathing, soft and soothing. The expression on his face was melting away all the walls I'd built up to prevent him from getting to me. For a millisecond I thought he might have leaned in to kiss me if we had more time alone.

But our moment was promptly interrupted.

He pulled his hands away from me abruptly when Shiranui and Amagiri appeared with firewood in their arms, ruining the moment between us. They stopped in their tracks as they noticed I was covered in sweat and we were both on top of my futon. I blushed darker and hastily swung the cape over my shoulders which probably made the scene seem even more suspicious. They appeared as if they were unsure whether to stay or leave us alone.

Kazama's irritated sigh broke through the awkward silence. 'Don't stare at us like that. She merely almost killed herself again, that's all.' He snapped. He rose up off my futon and sighed, glaring down at me. 'You stay there.' He ordered. I opened my mouth to protest but he glared at me. I swallowed my words and remained seated. Kazama snatched our flasks off the ground and disappeared instantly, leaving Amagiri and Shiranui to stare at me from the edge of the campsite. I sighed, lowering my face. I was embarrassed and also hurt that Kazama was so angry with me. I knew some of his anger stemmed from concern but he always made me sound so stupid when he talked about me to others. I wasn't stupid, I just hadn't done this before. I had done exactly as he said by not using all of my power but he'd failed to specify how much I actually needed to use… but I _should_ have stayed where he could see me, even if his presence was both distracting and unbearable.

'Chizuru-sama, are you ok?' Amagiri asked once he recovered from his surprise. He appeared beside me, a respectful distance away from my futon. I nodded. 'I'm fine now.' I murmured. He looked at me sensitively. 'What happened?' Even Shiranui looked curious as he placed the firewood down by the fire. I sighed, my shoulders slumping. 'I tried to change but I used too much power and almost died again, apparently.' I murmured. Amagiri analysed my facial expression for a bit before he replied. 'Don't dwell too much on Kazama's anger.' He said, like he could read my mind. I peered up at him with a slight frown on my face, pulling the cape around me tighter.

Amagiri got up from kneeling in front of me and I realised a second later it was because Kazama was approaching.

When he appeared once more in our campsite, he came straight over to me. I prepared myself to get yelled at again but it didn't happen. He tossed my flask down beside me and walked back to the fire to sit down and I watched him leave timidly. He looked angry and it made me feel both guilty and frustrated. What had occurred hadn't been my fault. I had never transformed before on my own but I should have stayed with him to let him help me. Even though his gaze was distracting there was a reason why he wanted to supervise me while I used my powers. It was to prevent things like this from happening.

'Kazama-san...' I murmured, wrapping the blanket around myself. I couldn't look at him because I was humiliated and also because his gaze was terrifying. When he didn't answer me after a few seconds, I laid down on my futon. He was too mad to even acknowledge me or at least continue to yell. I'd realised that sometimes it was more petrifying when Kazama was silent.

'There'll be no idle days with you as my wife, that's for sure.' He sighed. He was looking at me blankly, his angry expression now no longer there. I turned away frantically, the unexpectedness of his comment making me go redder than usual. He smirked a little before returning his gaze to the fire. Even after something like that happened, I would never be spared from his provoking statements. The worst thing was that every time he referred to me as his wife I felt something stir within me.

He threw a block of wood into the fire. 'I should have been more specific with how much power you needed to use… but the next time you try to change do it in front of me where I can keep an eye on you.' He said. I nodded, still red from his wife comment. He analysed me for a few more seconds before he continued. 'At least you know that you can summon your power by yourself. Be content that in the future you should be able to transform with relative ease.'

I nodded once more and he said nothing else.

Settling down onto my futon, I let myself be absorbed into my thoughts. I knew I had almost done it. I had felt the changes happening within me just before he shook me awake. I knew that now I was aware on how to at least find and summon the threads of power within me, changing wouldn't be as difficult. Would I look like Kazama? Would I appear that… unearthly? I didn't know, but I got embarrassed thinking about it. No matter what I looked like in my oni form I could never be as ethereal as Kazama. The memory of him in that form still made me shudder. I had indeed been drawn to him, no matter how many times I tried to deny it.

I hoped he would let me try again tomorrow but I highly doubted it. He would want me to wait until I'd fully recovered. I sighed aloud without realising. Kazama was so snappy the last time I'd exhausted myself from the use of my clan power but he _had_ made sure I was taken care of. This time probably wouldn't be any different but the knowledge that I'd have to deal with his overprotectiveness until my recovery made me sigh again. Some part of me appreciated that he was concerned for me and the image of his tender expression entered my thoughts once again. The heat it had sparked inside me was something I never thought he could make me feel.

Staring up at the stars as I rolled onto my back, I decided I best get as much sleep before tomorrow morning. I was nowhere near as exhausted as I had been the first time I used my clan power but I didn't want to risk being too tired tomorrow lest Kazama resume his chiding.

Closing my eyes and surrendering myself to the stillness of night, I let the crackling of the fire coax me into my dreams.

* * *

 **Ending note**

I tried hard to make the meditation scene as easy to follow as possible, in regards to the power within her. When I imagine it I see her power as tendrils of light inside her and that's what I tried to convey so... sorry if it was confusing haha


	17. Behind the dragon's fangs

**Cassiel-** Merci beaucoup pour ton review! Je suis toujours contente que tu aimes mon histoire :) j'aime bien tes reviews, je les trouve vraiment sympa et drole haha. J'adore aussi que Chizuru est une 'tsundere' avec Kazama... c'est vraiment interessant d'ecrire les interactions entre les deux a cause de ca haha! J'espere que tu aimes les chapitres suivantes!

 **Oshiet** \- Thank you! I'm glad to hear you like the way I write their characters :) I work hard on trying to make sure their actions and dialogue reflect their personalities. I hope you enjoy the upcoming chapters and thanks for your review :)

* * *

 **Behind the dragon's fangs**

'It's going to take us forever to get to Ezo.' Kazama sighed.

I resisted the urge to sigh back at him. He'd been the one that had offered to let me ride Yuki again. Why was he complaining about how slow we were going?

Shiranui and Amagiri followed patiently behind us, not really paying attention to the bickering between Kazama and I. It was probably a good thing that I'd taken over riding because the poor horses had been running for hours. They were going to die if he kept working them like this. When I didn't respond I felt Kazama shift behind me. 'Well I suppose that wouldn't be a bad thing.' He said airily. 'The longer we take, the more likely it is that your precious peasant will die. Then I can have you all to myself.'

I tensed up at his cruel joke. I didn't understand how he could say things like that, especially when he knew how much it hurt me. The longer we travelled for the more worried I got about the members of the Shinsengumi. I'd received no news about them for months and I feared that I was running out of time. Kazama didn't seem to care about how stressed I was despite the fact he knew I was concerned. He was doing a really poor job of trying to persuade me to be his wife.

He chuckled when I didn't respond. 'Did I hit a nerve?' He inquired.

I kicked Yuki's side abruptly and she lurched forward into a sudden canter. I heard Kazama gasp as he was thrown back a little but he was quick to steady himself.

When I brought her back down to a walk I could sense his annoyance. 'Get down. I'm riding again.' He said, but I could tell in his voice that he wasn't angry. He was maybe a little amazed at my show of defiance. I turned back to glare at him. 'But I want to keep riding. And besides, you deserved that.' I deadpanned. He frowned at my response and raised a perfect eyebrow. 'Well, hasn't your tongue loosened considerably since we first met. There once was a time you wouldn't have talked to me like that.' He remarked. I turned away from him to pout at the path in front, trying to fight the embarrassment. 'Well…' I mumbled. 'That was before I realised you weren't actually scary.'

I could sense his grin from behind me. 'You don't find me scary anymore?' He questioned. I held my tongue and hoped that he would drop it but of course he didn't. I felt his fingers brush the back of my neck and I resisted the urge to tremble. 'I wasn't aware I'd become so meek in your eyes. Do you want to be scared of me again? Because that can be easily arranged.' He teased. I got goosebumps at his words. I had no doubt he could make me fear him, maybe even worse than before if he wanted to. 'Why would you want me to be scared of you? And stop touching me.' I muttered as he tried once again to caress the back of my neck. Kazama disregarded my request and shrugged. 'I asked if you _wanted_ to be scared of me. But I suppose it's good that you aren't. What good would a wife be if she cowered from her husband's touch?' He said. I scowled as he implied once more that I would marry him. 'I will always cower from your touch because it's irritating and unwanted.' I muttered under my breath as I pushed his fingers off my neck for the third time.

Suddenly, he pulled me back hard against his chest, almost winding me. Leaning in close to my ear, the sound of him drawing in a breath to speak made my legs quiver. 'They'll come a time where my touch is all you want.' He purred. His husky voice travelled straight through my body like a current and I went rigid in an effort to stop my limbs from shaking. I yanked myself from his grip and shot him a scowl as I spun around. The smirk on his lips looked so devilish that for a moment I was too infuriated to speak. 'There will never come a time like that.' I assured him as I turned back around to take the reins in my hand.

I heard him chuckle behind me but he dropped the issue.

We'd left early this morning at the break of dawn. We were currently on our way to the next village which Kazama said we would reach tomorrow evening. I was feeling remarkably well after last night's failed attempt at transforming and I was relieved I wasn't too exhausted because it meant we could resume the journey without any problems. He hadn't mentioned anything about it and neither had anyone else which I was relieved about but I was still too scared to ask when we could try again. Now that I knew I was capable of finding the power within me all I wanted to do was transform. I was confident that the next time I tried I would succeed.

'I suppose I should tell you that we will be visiting the Yume clan on our way to Ezo.' Kazama's voice interrupted my train of thought. I turned around to regard him in confusion and he gestured for me to get off. 'It's my turn.' He said. I went to protest but he frowned at me. I sighed and did as he said and he slid forward once I was on the ground, helping me back up again to sit behind him. 'The Yume clan?' I questioned as he took the reins and we started to move. He nodded. 'They're located amongst the rocky mountains a month's travel this side of Aomori, almost at the summit. They are only a few days detour from the normal route.' He said. I had so many things I wanted to ask him. This would be my first trip to an oni village since the destruction of my own and my mind became so boggled that I couldn't pick which question to ask first.

I was relieved when he started to speak again. 'You heard me talk about them the other night when I said they were one of the most powerful clans. Their power is the gift of foresight.' He revealed. I frowned. 'Like fortune telling?' I asked. He nodded. 'More or less. The clan leader's name is Hanami. She's the youngest clan leader in all 9 clans, at just 13 years of age.'

I pressed my finger to my lip as I thought about what he'd told me. Only 13? How could such a young girl be responsible for an entire clan? Kazama waited patiently for me to ask a question. 'What are their clan colours?' I asked. He kept facing forward as he responded. 'White.' He replied. I nodded, peering up at him meekly. 'What are yours?' I had a feeling he wouldn't tell me because he seemed to like being shrouded in mystery and as I predicted, he only grinned and made no effort to answer. After a few more seconds, I sighed irritably. 'You're not going to make me guess that as well, are you?' I asked. He finally smirked, entertained by my frustration. 'I suppose that would be rather cruel of me. My clan has two colours. If you guess one, I'll tell you the other. But you only get one guess.' He said, smirking as he toyed with me.

I thought long and hard. What colour would Kazama's clan be?

'Gold.' I said.

He turned around to frown at me. I piped up as I realised I'd guessed correctly. 'Really? I got it right?' I laughed. He watched me laugh for a little bit before he continued to press for my reasoning. 'Do you have any explanation behind your guess? Or was it pure chance?' He asked sceptically. I smiled at his curiosity. 'I can't imagine someone as arrogant as you wearing anything less than gold.' I giggled. I heard Shiranui snort. Amagiri was grinning too, but Kazama didn't seem angered by my comment at all. It seemed he found a level of pleasure in my candid words. 'Well, I guess I have to tell you the second colour.' He sighed. 'It's red. Burgundy, if you want to get specific.'

Red and gold. They suited him perfectly.

I smiled in satisfaction, proud that I'd managed to fluster him a little. 'So can I get a clue on your clan power then too?' I prodded, trying my luck. He pondered this for a little while before he gave into his fondness for game playing. 'Perhaps it was a little harsh of me to expect you would guess something like that on your own.' He said. I tensed up behind him, peering around to look at the side of his face. He flicked his eyes towards me, amusement playing on his lips, but he didn't speak. I frowned. 'So was that a yes?'

He finally sighed. 'I will give you a clue if you can guess within 5 years of my real age.'

I stared at him blankly. Kazama's real age? I had known deep-down he was older than he looked but I had no idea on how old to guess. If Sen looked my age and was 42, how old would that make him then? He looked at least to be in his mid-twenties.

'Uhh….' I started to say. I squinted at his face like it would help me deduce the truth but all I saw was a 24 year old. 'Are you…55?' I asked. Self-satisfaction flooded his face as I was incorrect. 'What an appalling guess.' He sighed. I frowned, moving back to sit behind him properly so I couldn't see his smug face anymore. 'Was I at least close?' I asked. He knew exactly what I was playing at and he humoured me. 'No. Older.' He said simply. My eyes flew open. ' _Older_?' I squeaked. I gawked at him in incredulity and his grin betrayed how much my stupor pleased him. 'I'll give you one more guess. After that, I promise no more.' He said. He wasn't even trying to hide his pleasure at the astounded expression on my face. I pressed my hand to my forehead as I thought. He was older than 55? How much older? I turned to Shiranui and Amagiri and they were both waiting patiently for my answer. Did _they_ know how old he was?

Turning back to face Kazama I narrowed my eyes at him. 'Are you… you…?' I didn't want to say the number I was thinking of in case I was correct. It was unfathomable that I could be talking with someone so old with an appearance such as his.

'Are you 75?' I almost whispered.

He turned around for the second time to glare at me. For a moment he didn't speak, only narrowed his eyes until they were almost slits. I waited for confirmation or denial but he gave me neither; just the same, suspicious look I'd received when I'd guessed his clan colours.

'You have remarkable luck.' He said after a whole minute of silence. I gaped at him. 'You're 75 years old?' I almost cried. His suspicion morphed into pleasure. 'Well, I didn't say I was. But I will disclose I am within 5 years either side of that age.' My mouth didn't close the whole time he spoke. I could do nothing but squint at him through my disbelief. He reached back to push my bottom jaw up to close my mouth. 'Careful. You're inviting me to kiss you with your mouth open like that.' He purred. I completely disregarded what he'd said, unable to feel even slightly embarrassed by his comment or the touch of his fingers on my chin. 'You're so old!' I exclaimed. The disappointment showed on his face as he realised he wasn't going to get a reaction to his provocative comment and I earned a sharp look. 'I'm not old. I'm simply not as young as you.' He grumbled. He didn't seem to appreciate being called old; just like an old person wouldn't.

My confusion turned into amusement and I started to giggle. Now I knew why Kazama was so grouchy all the time; because he was technically an old man. It blew my mind to think he'd lived so many decades longer than me, longer than most people I'd known. I suppose you would get a little irritated if you lived as long as he had and knew you still had a while to go. I resisted the urge to voice that last thought and he watched impatiently as I tittered. 'What's so funny?' He snapped. Even at his tone I couldn't stop the humour from showing on my face. 'Nothing.' I said, covering my mouth. He beheld me with displeasure as we made our way down to a small clearing for lunch. 'Do you want your clue or not?' He asked as he brought Yuki to a stop beside the shallow creek we'd chosen to rest at. I nodded eagerly. 'Yes please.'

He dismounted the horse and looked up at me, his fringe fluttering in the wind. 'My clan power lies behind the fangs of a dragon.' He said, almost poetically. He moved away from me then to fill our flasks up at the creek and I got off as well, no closer to discovering his clan power. 'What's that supposed to mean?' I asked begrudgingly. He just shrugged, smirking. 'That's the clue I've given you. It's your job to decipher it.' He said. My frowned deepened. Behind the fangs of a dragon?

I peered back down at him on his knees beside the water and he still had the remnants of a smirk on his face. 'I don't want to hear you guessing randomly either.' He said as I opened my mouth to list a bunch of possibilities. His ability to know exactly what I was thinking was irksome to say the least. 'Well, you didn't give me a very good clue.' I muttered. He got up and screwed the lid on my flask, handing it to me. 'My clue was more than appropriate. If you can't figure it out then that's your problem not mine.' He sighed. I gave up, plonking myself down underneath a tree after I'd snatched some fruit from my bag. Dragons weren't even real. His clue was far from appropriate.

'Kazama-san…?' I started to say, trailing off as I waited for him to react. He just regarded me vacantly. 'What?' He said. I took a bite from my apple. 'Can you tell me about the other clans and their abilities? And about their leaders too?' I asked.

Thankfully for me, he seemed to be in a chatty mood.

He sat cross legged on the grass. 'Very well. It's nice to see you taking an interest in our kind even though you remain so infatuated with the human race. I'll start with that wench's clan.' He sighed. I waited patiently after he'd settled himself down to talk, very much accustomed by now to him calling Sen a wench. 'Her clan is the Shinobi clan, the royal bloodline whose clan colour is orange. They are in charge of all 8 other clans and is responsible for ensuring peace exists between them. Their power is the gift of mind-control and hypnotism.' He said. I gaped at him again. I'd been doing that a lot lately. 'Mind control? Really?' I questioned. He nodded. 'Although it only works at close range, Sen can make both humans and onis do as she wishes. Kimigiku and others unrelated to the main family can only influence people's behaviour, not control it.' He sighed. He didn't wait for me to ask any more questions. He seemed repulsed that he was being made to talk about her. 'The next clan is the Yume clan who I mentioned just a few moments ago. Hanami is one of the strongest clan leaders to be born in decades and she is also the youngest current leader. She has prophetic visions and can see the past and future of a man just by looking into his eyes. Her parents both died about 10 years ago from exhaustion of their powers.'

He looked up at me and watched the confusion on my face, waiting patiently for me to question him. 'What do you mean by exhaustion of their powers?' I asked. He looked back down at the ground. 'Hanami's mother had visions so often that she was in a constant state of prophecy. Eventually she could barely eat and died from her exhaustion. Her husband died on that same day as oni mates cannot live long after the death of their spouse.' He said solemnly. I lowered my head as I tried to wrap my head around what he'd told me. 'So Hanami's father was fine but he died because his wife died?' The thought was such a strange one, that a bond could be so strong that the person couldn't live without their partner. Kazama looked at me then but I was confused why he was smirking. 'Oni mates share a bond which humans cannot even fathom, a connection borne through love which links both their minds and their bodies for all eternity. You and I shall possess such a bond once we are wed.' He purred. I went red, turning away from his molten eyes. The notion of being connected to someone like that was kind of romantic, but to be linked to Kazama in that way…

He chuckled, deciding that my expression had been a suitable response. 'You've already been informed about the Shiranui and Amagiri clans so I'll proceed to the next one; the Hoshi clan. Their clan colours are silver and white and their clan powers are rather intellectual based. They are extremely adept strategists, artists, linguists and poets and they have exceptional skills in navigation. The clan leader is Fumio who can learn a language just by hearing a single word of it spoken, always knows which way is North and possesses an intellect sharper than any oni or human in the country. They are the only clan out of all 9 that have not been at war in some way, either with other onis or with humans.' He said. I took my time to process all that he'd said. So far their clan powers sounded pretty amazing.

He continued without further prompting. 'The Nagumo clan, whose clan colour is grey, is the one your brother was adopted into. They have the ability to control the weather and influence the seasons. Their clan leader is Goro who can change the weather on command and he can also shift the seasons in particular areas to speed up plant growth. They are exceptional agriculturalists because of their abilities and have high yields of annual produce that they sell to human markets nearby.'

Kaoru. So that's where he'd grown up. My heart ached as I thought about him even though I had next to no memories of our times together. 'And the last one? The clan that my mother came from?' I encouraged. I couldn't deny I was dying to hear more about my parents. He nodded in acknowledgment. 'The Midori clan's power lies within nature and their clan colour is emerald green. They can talk to and control plant and animal life and shapeshift into any animal form they wish. Technically they can mimic other oni and human forms as well because we are all biologically animals but this ability takes many, many decades to master. The clan leader, your grandmother, has only learned this recently and she is almost two centuries old.'

His words hit me like a strike of lightning. 'Grandmother?' I gasped, shooting up to kneel beside him. I had never thought about the possibility of family outside of the Yukimura bloodline although when I reflected on it, Kazama _had_ told me that my mother was not from my father's clan. Out of everything he'd ever told me, this was the thing that shocked me the most. 'I have a grandmother? Where is she?' I begged, shuffling so close to him we were almost touching. Kazama gestured for me to calm down as he regarded me with confusion. 'She's in the Midori clan, along with all the rest of your family on your mother's side. Her name is Jeido. Did you not know?'

'The rest of my family? There's more?' I cried, not answering his question. When I went to get to my feet, Kazama stopped me. 'Calm down. Of course there's more. If you ask nicely then I'll take you once we finish in Ezo but…'

'You'll take me?' I clarified desperately, clasping my hands. He blinked at the emotion in my voice and didn't say anything. My heart was pounding. I could feel hot tears of relief flooding my eyes. After the death of my father, I had been made to live with a perpetual sense of grief in my heart. Grief for the family I'd lost and would never find again.

Without another second of delay, I'd burst into tears.

They watched me for a long time in stunned silence, startled by the sudden shift in my emotion. I wiped my tears away as they streamed down my face but I was so shaken by the realisation that I wasn't alone that I couldn't stop them from pouring. I took in a deep breath to try and calm myself down and a warm hand came out of nowhere to press against my cheek. With a thumb, Kazama cleared the tears from my face like he had done after we'd jumped off the cliff. I calmed down a little from his touch but the tears wouldn't cease and I gave in to letting him comfort me.

After a few minutes when I still couldn't stop crying, I pressed a hand to my face to hide my swollen eyes. 'I'm sorry…it's just I thought I was the only one left.' I sobbed, slightly embarrassed at how I was crying like this in front of them. Kazama looked uncomfortable as I wept and when he noticed that the tears weren't stopping his hand moved to tilt my chin up. I beheld him with red, puffy eyes and his ruby ones stared right back. 'I will take you to the Midori clan after this journey is over and I've gone back to my own clan to see my people. Our villages are not too far apart. Either you wait for me or you persuade Sen to take you. She owes you that much at least for allowing you to suffer like this for so long.' He said. I was so happy at his words that a fresh round of tears fell from my eyes. He regarded me quietly as he watched them trickle off my chin. 'Stop crying. I don't like how it makes me feel.' He sighed, his lips twisting slightly in distaste. His face wore a pained expression and I felt a strange warmth swirl inside me at his words, like a tiny fire was ignited in my heart. 'Will you really take me?' I blubbered. He hadn't let my face go yet and he watched me cry, a mix of displeasure and pity on his face. 'I don't break my promises.' He sighed. I sniffed, averting my eyes from his after it became too much for me. 'Thank you.' I murmured as the tears started to slow down and I felt my composure returning. He sighed, letting my face go when he was sure I'd stopped. His fingertips were wet with my tears. 'Enough of that. You'll soon learn I'll do anything for you.' He sighed. I peered at him meekly through the blurriness of my vision, too moved to even blush at his words. He smirked at me. 'That's quite a placid look you're giving me. If only you looked at me that tenderly all the time.' He said, cupping my cheek with a warm hand and stroking the soft skin under my eyes with his thumb. I finally went red and he chuckled. 'Have you finished crying, or do I need to lend you my fingers again? If you're done then you may ask questions.' He teased lightly. I turned away from him. 'I'm fine now.' I mumbled as his hand dropped from my face.

I swallowed the last piece of my apple and tossed the core to Yuki, who ate it happily. Kazama's eyes followed the apple and he looked up at me then, letting me know he was finished with his explanations and that I could ask him questions if I wished.

My throat was still slick from crying but I was determined to ask him what I wanted to know. 'What about my clan? I mean… do you know anything that I might not?' I asked. He peered down at the grass he was lazily pulling at. I'd noticed it was a habit for him to play with grass. It was strange, but somewhat… cute. 'The Yukimura clan's colour is cobalt blue. Your father was the clan leader and could heal both physical injuries as well as poison and illness. People used to come from all over the country to seek his aid, both humans and oni alike. He even brought a man back from the dead many years ago.'

'No he didn't.' I said before I had time to think. I bit my lip as Kazama's eyes snapped to look at me. It had left my mouth without permission. I knew he wasn't going to let me get away with such a statement without justification but I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell him the truth, since my father had fought so hard to keep it a secret. His frown deepened after a few seconds. 'And what makes you say that?' He demanded. I sighed, looking down at my bracelet. I fidgeted with the sun emblem dangling off the chain. 'It was the man that gave me this, wasn't it?' I murmured. Kazama's expression changed to one of alarm. His lips parted for a split second, before his face hardened again. 'Why does it matter who it was?' He snapped. I didn't know why he was getting so worked up but it wasn't the first time his emotions had shifted so rapidly so I thought nothing of it. I sighed, peering up at him. 'I was 7 when he came to our village. I remembered he'd been stabbed through the chest and no one could stop the bleeding.' Not even Kazama spoke as I continued. 'I found him in a guest room and his heart stopped beating so… uh…' I bit my lip, hoping he would understand without me having to say it. But his expression was blank.

I hugged my knees timidly. 'It was me that brought him back from the dead that night. Father told everyone to say it was him so no one came to take advantage of my power. He was keeping me safe.'

Everyone froze and I blushed as I felt their attention boring into me. Shiranui had stopped halfway through his apple, his mouth open mid-chew. Amagiri was looking at me like I was a ghost. When I looked at Kazama, his mouth was slightly open. That only made me even more self-conscious. Was the news really that shocking?

Kazama finally reacted once he'd processed my words, recoiling a little. 'Don't be ridiculous. You were 7 years old.' He spat. I frowned at him, slightly insulted that he didn't believe me. 'So? What does that have to do with anything? I remember it clearly. When I saw him die in front of me I was so upset that my powers activated; it was the first time I changed into my oni form as well. I almost _died_ bringing his soul back. I was bedridden for two weeks afterwards and it took a month on top of that until I was back to normal.' I explained, making sure Kazama could see the resolve in my eyes. He didn't have to believe me but it was the truth. Just because I was a child didn't mean I hadn't done something like that.

Kazama didn't speak for a really long time. Such a long time, in fact, that I thought a little harder about why he seemed so afflicted. Did he know the man?

Before I could ask him anything, he got up off the grass and gestured for me to get up. 'Let's go. We've got a way to travel before nightfall.' He said, all emotion lacking in his tone. Shiranui and Amagiri got up slowly, still regarding me in disbelief.

Did they all think I was lying?

I was slightly hurt as I mounted the horse. 'Don't you believe me?' I murmured. He replied instantly. 'No. I don't believe you. A 7 year old can't bring a man back from the dead. Your father shouldn't have even been able to do that.' He snapped. I was upset that he thought I was lying but I settled behind him and let the silence envelop us. It wasn't like I cared if he didn't believe me. After all, it was probably a good thing he didn't because if he knew I possessed such power, especially so young, his efforts to marry me would renew full force. Besides, I had much more pressing matters to think about at that moment.

I had a family.

I was so overwhelmed by the news that I was beginning to go numb. All these years of believing I had no other relatives and then I find out I have a grandmother in the Midori clan, in addition to possible aunties, uncles and cousins… the thought almost made me start crying again. All these questions were swirling in my head but just the knowledge they existed was enough to satisfy me for now. To think it would be Kazama that would tell me this. To think it would be Kazama who would offer to take me there once he'd gone back to see his own people. Did he miss his family too? After all, he had been in the human world for at least 4 years, since that's how long since I'd first met him. It was possible he'd been gone from his village even before then. How many years since he'd last seen them? Even though he hadn't said much at all about it and even though he was difficult to read, I still sensed something from him when he'd talked about 'his people'. A sort of tenderness, maybe even yearning. It was no secret he hated the human world, but was he homesick? The possibility made me feel uneasy for some reason, like how I'd felt when I I'd pondered if he was lonely. It must have been harder than I ever thought for him to be away from his clan in a world where he knew he didn't belong.

No one spoke as we emerged back onto the dirt path. Kazama sat in front of me, straight-backed and seemingly devoid of all emotion. We continued like that for a while, not a single person interrupting the silence. We didn't need to. There was nothing to talk about. I'd learned that silence in the company of oni was often peaceful; humans always had a need to fill the silence, to speak or make noise. But I'd learned that all three of them went silent when they were thinking.

So I didn't talk. I sat behind him and focused on the chirping of the birds around me and the feeling of the spring breeze on my skin.

* * *

 **Ending note**

OK SO some of you might think it was a big step in giving Chizuru family, because in the anime all her blood relatives were killed. But as I made her mother come from the Midori clan, it made sense that she would have relatives on that side of the family. When you think about it her history is quite depressing so giving her some relatives made me feel a little better too... I also made up most of the clans myself because they don't feature in the anime. I tried to give them interesting clan powers and I'm so excited to write about Chizuru's trip to the Yume clan later on in the story :3


	18. Flashback

**Flashback**

The sun was scraping against the horizon when Kazama declared we had almost arrived at the village.

We'd stayed in the forest last night and left early this morning in order to arrive at the village by nightfall. It appeared as though we might arrive just after sunset but Kazama had told me that the inns would still be open and we wouldn't miss out on accommodation or a hot meal. I was looking forward to sleeping inside a house. Even though the evenings were pleasant it still was a little uncomfortable camping out in the elements and our food supplies were getting low as well so we were practically eating rice every night.

I watched the blazing sun disappear, the rays of light streaming through the trees. Red and gold, just like Kazama's clan colours. When I looked at him, he was facing straight ahead with an uninterested expression on his face. Neither of us had mentioned how I'd brought back that man from the dead. I still wasn't sure he believed me but I didn't mind. If he needed proof one day then I would be happy to show him my memories once I'd learned how to use my oni telepathy but I was content in the meantime with him believing I wasn't capable of such a feat. I pondered too what the Shinsengumi would think if they found out I could do all of this stuff. What would they say once they realised I'd used my clan power? Did they really even know what that meant? Probably not, but I still felt like they'd be proud of me.

I felt a twinge of sadness as I thought about them. I knew it would take many more months to reach Ezo and I prayed it wouldn't be too late when I finally got there. Now that I knew a little bit more about my powers I could heal them if they were injured. I would no longer be as useless as I once was as I could serve a valuable purpose. I knew they were capable warriors and possessed high levels of skill but they were up against western weapons. I was especially worried for Hijikata. I suspected he had feelings for me too but I really didn't know because he was similar to Kazama in the way that he'd put up an impenetrable shield over his emotions but I'd seen many other sides to him in the 4 years living with the Shinsengumi. He was compassionate, caring and loyal. There was no other man I'd met that possessed such strong qualities and it was these qualities that I admired. I was determined to tell him how I felt when I saw him again.

I turned my attention back to my surroundings before I became too upset. With every passing day, my worry grew tenfold. I didn't know how much more I could take before I broke.

'Kazama-sama.' Amagiri's voice pierced the silence.

'I know.' He replied.

I frowned, confused by their bizarre discourse. I peered around to look at the side of Kazama's face. I was stunned to see his displeased expression. It was the expression he wore when he was about to kill something. When I turned to see what he was looking at, my mouth fell open. I could see plumes of smoke in the distance, reaching for the sky like long black fingers. As I stared at the smoke in shock I felt a wave of dread come over me.

'Hold on to me.' Kazama said suddenly. I did it without hesitation, knowing exactly what was going to happen and he wasted no time in breaking into a gallop. I had grown accustomed to travelling at this speed so I could ride with my eyes open without feeling sick. Amagiri and Shiranui were racing beside us, morbid looks on their faces and I knew in that instant that whatever we were about to see wouldn't be a pleasant sight. I presumed the smoke was coming from the village and judging by its thickness and colour I could tell there was more than a single building on fire. I hoped that everyone had managed to escape without injury.

It was a few minutes until we finally slowed down. The sun had disappeared now and its light was quickly draining from the sky. Soon there would only be the moon and stars to guide us.

I could smell the smoke now. It was almost choking me.

'Chizuru.' Kazama's voice awakened me from my thoughts. I peered up at him again but he wasn't looking at me. 'What?' I asked. His mouth hardened a little. 'I want you to stay here with Shiranui.' He said as he dismounted Yuki. I frowned as I moved forward in the saddle, not understanding. 'Why's that?' He still wouldn't look at me and he shoved his riding gloves into his bag. 'Because you might not like what you see.' His voice was foreboding and it chilled me a little to think of what he meant but there was no way I was going to stay here while they went in. 'I want to come too.' I said. He watched me in silence as I dismounted as well, tying Yuki up to a tree. He didn't look like he approved of my defiance but he didn't protest it either. He turned to Shiranui. 'Stay here and guard the horses.' He ordered. Shiranui looked a little disappointed he would miss out on the fun, but he nodded.

Kazama's voice caught my attention. 'If you're that keen to see the extent of human cruelty then let's go. Don't stray from my side no matter what happens.' He ordered. I nodded, moving to his side as Amagiri got down from Yoru. Kazama inclined his head and I gave Shiranui a parting smile before we started to walk in the direction of the smoke.

My heart was beating furiously in my chest as my brain shuffled through all the possibilities of what lay ahead. I knew I would see confronting things but I'd seen a lot of that in the past while staying with the Shinsengumi. Before going to Kyoto, I'd never seen a man die before. Now I'd seen people beheaded, cut open and stabbed through the guts as well as the horrors of the Rasetsu.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as we came closer to the village and I saw the first pool of red. There was no body but judging by the size of it the person had most definitely died. My vision was becoming blurry due to the smoke wafting through the trees, bringing with it the stench of blood.

I stuck to Kazama's side like glue.

As we emerged from the forest path and into the main gates of the village that's when I could truly see the extent of the damage. There was not one building that wasn't burnt down or on fire and blood had turned the dirt in the streets to mud. I had no idea what had happened here but I could tell it had been no accident. They had been attacked.

'Let's go.' Kazama said as he walked though the village gates. I followed him wordlessly and Amagiri trailed behind.

When we'd moved a few metres into the village, that's when I saw the first body. He was laying face-first down in the dirt with a wooden spike speared right through his back. I felt my stomach twist at the sight but I was able to keep my lunch down. Kazama appeared as indifferent as ever as we continued. Dead bodies littered the streets like scattered pebbles and I could see people hanging out of windows like they'd been trying to escape but had either been stabbed before they reached freedom or burned to death. Many had severe burns to their faces or other parts of their body. The scent of burning flesh was by far the most revolting thing I'd smelled in my life.

Suddenly Kazama stopped, looking around him like he was taking in a beautiful view rather than the massacre of a village. 'Behold what your beloved humans are capable of.' He said sourly. I felt the bite in his voice but he didn't look at me, not even as he continued. 'It seems there are absolutely no survivors.'

I looked around too. He seemed to be right. I could see no signs of life around us. Even though the fires were still crackling and houses were collapsing one after the other, it seemed to be utterly silent. Not even the wind was blowing anymore.

We continued without talking and I stayed close to Kazama as we came to the centre of the village.

My stomach fell at the sight before me.

Hundreds of people had been piled up in the village courtyard, stabbed, burned or decapitated. I had to turn away as my worst fear was realised; there were children among the dead, some no older than 3. There was severed heads stuck to the fences lining the houses, displayed almost like trophies. It was so inconceivable that someone could do this to another person. Even after all the years I'd spent in the midst of violence and death, nothing could have prepared me for the sight of those bodies.

I felt Kazama's warm hand encircle around my wrist as my legs trembled. 'This way.' He said. His voice wasn't kind, perse, probably because I'd opted to come even after he'd warned me. He was frustrated with my stubbornness but I could tell he was still worried about me.

Kazama led me gently through the next streets and over to a building. 'Look around and see if you can find food. Don't touch anything with blood or dirt on it.' He ordered, letting my wrist go once he'd pulled us inside. The roof had collapsed but the walls were relatively intact. I felt a little guilty ransacking a house like this but we were really low on food. I could tell Kazama's pride was injured having to steal food from a burnt down village but even he understood we had little choice unless we wanted to die ourselves. I searched the pantry and cupboards, pulling out a few bags of salt and rice as well as some carrots and beans. I stared at the beans for a while and wondered if I should take them. I knew Kazama didn't like beans.

'We can't afford to be fussy.' His voice interrupted my thoughts. It was bizarre how he seemed to be able to read my mind. I nodded, putting them into the bag he'd given me. I saw he'd found some things as well.

We moved onto the next house after that. It wasn't as intact as the last one but the pantry and cupboards had been left unharmed. I found some more rice as well as some potatoes and after we'd gathered what we needed, Kazama quickly urged us to leave. We met out in the street again and he looked around distastefully before he spoke. 'I've seen enough. Let's go.' He brushed past me to head back the way we came. Amagiri gestured for me to come along too and I did. I was eager to get out of the village as soon as possible.

I walked closely beside him as he passed the village centre. His body shielded the sight of the body pile from me but knowing it was still there made my skin crawl. I wanted to know who had done this and why but my throat was so swollen with horror that I couldn't speak. I wasn't even sure if Kazama knew why either but he didn't need to know for his hatred for humans to seethe. It had hurt when he'd told me this was what they were 'capable of', like he was angry at me for sympathising with them. I would never sympathise with people who slaughtered innocents like this. I only understood that not all humans were vile and greedy like he made them out to be.

When the village gates came into view, that's when he all heard it.

A scream.

Kazama frowned at the noise and I spun around, raking the streets for the source. It had sounded like a child.

Before I knew it I was making my way back down the street. Kazama's hand grabbed my wrist and he tugged me back to him. 'I told you not to go off alone.' He hissed, but he started walking in the direction of the scream as well.

'Mother!' The voice screamed again.

It wasn't a scream of pain, but of anguish. I felt the colour drain from my face as I heard the torture in the child's voice. I tore my hand out of Kazama's and ran towards the noise. I heard urgency and I couldn't wait any longer. I peered into every house along the street but couldn't see the owner of the voice. Kazama's hand once again stopped me. 'The child is further up.' He said impatiently, pulling me out of the front yard. I started to pull on him this time. 'Then let's go.' I said urgently.

The next sound wasn't a scream, but a long wail. 'Nooooo. Mother! Wake up!'

I knew now what was happening and I couldn't wait any longer while Kazama's distaste for humans slowed us down. I broke from his grasp once more and ran up to the house where I was sure I heard the wail.

My heart stopped in my chest as I saw it. A girl of about 6 was crouching over a body in the lounge of their house. I could tell they'd previously been hiding and had come out to see if it was safe. The woman had been injured and her face was pale but I could see she was still alive. Barely. I watched in silence, unable to move as the child tried to shake her mother awake. 'Mother!' She screamed again. I swore I could feel the vibrations of it on my skin. But no matter how long I watched for, I couldn't move. Something about the scene was so familiar. The child was sobbing as she shook her mother's shoulders, her eyes flicking from her pale face to the blood spreading through her kimono.

My skin started to grow hot and I gasped as I felt a jab of pain in my head. An image flashed into my mind but it was gone as soon as it appeared. I fell to my knees suddenly as my vision started to fade and Kazama's strong arms held me up. I could hear him whispering my name urgently but I couldn't respond.

As my eyes rolled back in my head, I lost consciousness.

* * *

' _Come quickly, my children.' Father said as he grabbed onto mine and Kaoru's hands tightly and ran with us down the end of the hallway._

 _I could hear the sounds of screaming and yelling outside but I was still half asleep and had no idea what was going on. 'Where's Mother?' I asked as he brought us into the library. He didn't answer me; I could tell he was much too preoccupied with something. Kaoru was just as confused as I was as Father brought us through the library and to the door as the back which lead to a spiral staircase. My heart was pounding violently against my ribs as we bounded down the steps. My kodachi and Kaoru's katana made clinking sounds as they hit our legs as we ran, the presents we'd been given to celebrate our 7th birthdays; a matching set. I could see my father was flustered but he was not giving us any clues as to what was happening. When we emerged through the door at the bottom and into another hallway, that's when I saw it._

 _Blood._

 _Father kept pulling us along and didn't even make an attempt to step over the pool of red at our feet. I felt fear creep into my chest. 'Father, what's going on?' Kaoru asked._

 _Once again he didn't answer._

 _When he came to the door of the main hall, he opened it a little and peeked in. There was no one there. He pulled us inside and over to the door that lead into the garden but before he opened it he knelt down and hugged us both tightly. 'I love you so much, my beautiful children.' He said, kissing us both on the foreheads. 'When I tell you to run, I want you to run as fast as you can into the forest. No matter what you see or hear I don't want you to stop running until you reach the wheat fields. When you get there I want you to hide and I will come and find you. No matter what don't leave those fields. Do you promise?' He said urgently. It was unusual seeing my father so distressed. Kaoru and I looked at each other in alarm, but we nodded our heads. He kissed us once more before raising himself off the floor._

 _Then he looked down at us, like he was committing our faces to memory, memorising our dark hair and large eyes like it was the last time he'd see them. I wanted to ask him again what was going on but the look on his face silenced me. I could see so much love in his eyes, so much love my heart ached._

 _Then, he pushed open the doors and the sounds of yelling and screaming intensified. I was too petrified to ask any more questions after that._

 _He pulled us around the side of our estate and heaved us up onto the top of the stone fence. 'Remember what I said! Don't stop until you reach the wheat fields. I love you both, more than anything in this world.' He whispered as we were perched up there. I looked down at him hesitantly, wondering why he sounded like this was our last goodbye, but I trusted my father. If he said he was going to come and get us later then he would._

 _As soon as I was ready to jump down the other side, a high pitched whiz caught my attention._

 _I didn't even have enough time to scream before the arrow had pierced through my father's back. His eyes rolled back in his head and his blood sprayed across the dirt and up the stone wall, splattering up our bodies and onto our faces. I couldn't even cry out before his body fell lifeless to the ground in front of us with a dull thud as the arrow head plunged into his heart from behind._

 _We threw ourselves back off the fence to his side just as the blood started spreading though his yukata. I patted my father's back as I felt the tears burn behind my eyes. 'Father!' I begged, my voice breaking. I could taste his blood in my mouth. I felt like my world was falling to pieces right in front of me. Kaoru was silent and pale, his eyes as wide as the moon. I could see gold flickering in them, but he didn't change. None of us had been able to use our powers since this morning. 'Father!' I cried louder. But he didn't respond to me. I felt for his heartbeat but I couldn't find it. I felt like I was going to throw up. This had to be a nightmare. It couldn't be real._

 _That's when Kaoru screamed, the first sound he'd made since Father had been hit by the arrow. The sound was horrible. It seemed to cut right through the night like a knife, overpowering the distant wails I could hear from outside the walls of our estate. For the first time I noticed how much smoke there was. The village was on fire._

 _I continued to shake my father, urging him to wake up but he didn't. I couldn't see anything anymore through my tears, couldn't focus on anything but the crushing anguish in my soul as I watched my father's skin grow paler and paler as his blood drained from his body. We were kneeling in it, the heat seeping through our clothes to our knees. The feeling was sickly._

 _Suddenly I felt warm hands secure around my waist and pull me up. 'Chizuru-hime.' The maid gasped. I hadn't even noticed her approaching us. I hit her away from me viciously. 'Don't touch me!' I screamed, throwing myself back down to my father's side. Her eyes were filled with tears and she looked dishevelled but her mind was a lot clearer than ours. 'You both need to go! Please! Someone will come and get you soon, I promise.' She implored, trying to pick me up again. I fought her violently as she tried to pluck me off my father's body and I screamed louder as she succeeded. She pushed me over the top of the wall and I fell onto the dirt below. 'No!' I howled, just as Kaoru was thrown over too._

 _'Run! I promise it will be ok!' The maid begged from behind it. I didn't want to leave my father's body. Some part of me still believed he was alive, that he could be saved. As I tried desperately to scramble back up the stone wall I prayed for the power to save his life. I willed it to awaken in me like it had when I'd saved the man I was betrothed to. But nothing happened. I felt no fire in my blood, no scorching heat. My power had been silenced, as had everyone else's in the village._

 _Kaoru watched me emptily as I tried to climb back up. He was silent, unmoving. He appeared to be nothing more than an empty shell. If I had have been slightly less hysterical in trying to get to my father I would have noticed the look on his face was darker than any emotion I'd seen on his face before._

 _All of a sudden, I heard a sinister chuckle beside us. I pulled my hands off the wall and span around and I felt fear seize my heart as I saw a man standing there, covered in blood. He was grinning at us madly, his blade dripping with red, and I noticed I couldn't see a white glow from underneath his skin; the source of light which told me if he was an oni._

 _He was human._

 _My blood froze as his grin grew wider. 'Look at what we have here. Two little filthy demon spawn. I'll be praised for presenting your heads to our leader.' He jeered, moving his sword in front of his body like he was poised to strike. The blade was slick with blood. The tears stopped flowing momentarily as fear gripped my heart like icy fingers. He seemed to approach us slowly like he knew we were too scared to run away. I'd heard so many stories from the history books in our library about the vileness of the human race and as I looked into his gleaming, emotionless eyes I saw exactly what I had read about._

 _Suddenly I heard the sound of a blade being drawn beside me. Flinching, I turned to Kaoru. He wasn't looking at me as he drew his katana from his sheathe; in fact, he didn't even seem to be looking at the man. His eyes were staring blankly into nothing and for the first time in my life I was scared of him. His face was clouded with an emotion so bitter, so malicious that I backed away a little. 'Kaoru…?' I whimpered as he brought the blade out in front of him. With his face and body covered in blood, he looked like he was born to kill._

 _He didn't speak to me even after I called his name again and I turned back to the man as I heard him approach us. 'Oh? What you ganna do, boy? Kill me?' He jeered. Kaoru said nothing. I knew what he wanted to do and I didn't want him to. I couldn't lose another member of my family if he lost this battle. I went to grab onto Kaoru's arm. 'No. Don't fight.' I begged. 'Let's go!' I tried to tug him away but he tore his arm from me. His gaze grew even darker and I quivered, silenced. I could see a level of bloodlust in his eyes that I'd never seen before._

 _The man chuckled harshly. 'You're challenging me?' He spat incredulously. 'Very well. Prepare to die.'_

 _I gasped as he lunged at Kaoru and I staggered back and hit the wall in order to avoid the swing of the man's blade. Kaoru blocked the man's sword as it came down but quaked under the force of it._

 _I could do nothing but shiver against the wall as my brother and the human fought._

 _Kaoru sidestepped the man's second attack, going for a stab to the ribs but it was promptly blocked. 'Well aren't you a sneaky one.' The man growled, pushing him back with his blade. Kaoru staggered back a little but was quick to regain his balance, gritting his teeth and glaring at the human man. Their blades collided again, their faces illuminated for a few seconds by the sparks that flew from the contact between the two swords, before the shadows of the forest once again consumed them. I clutched the bracelet around my wrist, feeling Kazama's heartbeat pulse in my hands. It was calm and strong. Could he feel mine? Could he feel how hard my heart was beating? I wished he was here. I remembered what my father had said, that he would protect me no matter what, and I wanted nothing more in that moment for someone to come to save us._

 _I was torn from my thoughts as the man let out a twisted cry. Kaoru had managed to dig the tip of his blade into his shoulder. The blood spurted from it as the blade was torn out. 'You little bastard! For that I'll kill your filthy sister first!' He growled threateningly. When he raised his blade again, it wasn't aimed for Kaoru. I screamed as the man ran at me, his face contorted with rage. I pushed my back harder against the wall and tried to draw my kodachi but my fingers were too frozen from fear and the cold to move properly._

 _However, I didn't need to defend myself. I gasped as a thin blade burst through his chest, his blood spraying over my body and mixing with that of my father. I had never seen anyone get stabbed like that before but I was so wrought with grief and fear that the sight didn't register in my mind._

 _The blade was pulled from his chest and the man fell to his knees. As he fell to the floor, gurgling as he died, I saw Kaoru standing behind him. His eyes were filled with a virulent glint of hatred. He was shaking with adrenaline and fury as he watched the man at my feet die. I cried out as Kaoru plunged his katana once more though the man's back even though he was already dead, lifting it out again and stabbing it back into another part of his torso. Each stab brought forth more blood._

 _'Stop!' I begged, getting up and tearing him away from the man's body. Kaoru let me pull him away and his face remained hollow as I dragged him away from the bloody scene. 'Let's go.' I said. My voice was shaking so hard that I could barely understand myself. I was filled with so much horror that my mind hadn't fully comprehended what had happened, that my brother had just killed someone. He was covered from head to toe in blood and I knew if I didn't get him out of there quickly he was going to break._

 _I tore him into the forest and blinked the tears from my eyes as I broke into a run. I dragged him behind me and eventually he started to run too. He hadn't yet cleaned or sheathed his katana and was gripping it in his hand like his life depended on it._

 _We ran so fast into the forest that the world became a blur. We ran faster than we ever had before, managing to dodge the trees even though our vision was clouded with tears. We ran so fast that the agony almost caused us to collapse._

 _But only one of us made it to the wheat fields._

* * *

When my eyes finally opened again, I realised I was on the ground still. Kazama had obviously been trying to rouse me but stopped when I shot up off the floor.

My grief hit me like a ton of bricks in that moment. I remembered that whole scene perfectly; the death of my father, the separation from Kaoru and the three days of torture waiting alone in the wheat fields before Kodo finally came to collect me. I remembered I'd cried endlessly when he'd arrived. I'd clung to him for 8 hours before he finally persuaded me to sleep.

And when I finally did, I'd woken up without my memories.

I stared into the window at the girl and her mother, who still hadn't seen us. I saw myself in that child's eyes, trying to shake my father awake. The tears on her face dripped from her chin like mine had, her fingertips were coated in blood like mine had been. I was sure, too, that if I had have seen my face as I looked up the lifeless body of my father that our expressions would have been the same as well.

Like an explosion, the power inside of me filled each and every vein in my body. It happened so forcefully that I almost fell once again to my knees. I felt the air vibrate with the surge of my power, my vision cloud with pain as my blood boiled with energy. It was so painful but… I could sense just how strong I was.

As the burning in my blood threatened to cook me alive, I went to step inside.

But a hand stopped me.

When I turned around to look at Kazama, his expression told me exactly what he wanted to say. He wanted me to leave them. He would have rathered the woman die than have me use my powers in front of a human and expose our existence. For a moment I was overcome with so much anger I could have punched him right there in the face. His grip was tight on me but there was no way I was going to live with this for the rest of my life. I would rather die than know I could have saved this girl's mother and didn't.

I tore my arm from his with all the strength I could muster and broke from his grasp, flashing him a disgusted look before I walked into the house. I knew I would get severely reprimanded after but in that moment I couldn't have cared less.

The creaking of the floorboards announced my entry.

The girl paused her crying to jump at the noise and she threw herself back so hard against the wall in fear when she saw me that I was surprised it didn't collapse. Even though I was torn inside from my own flashback, I still found the strength to speak. 'It's ok. I can help your mother.' I said softly. I watched her eyes shift from pure fear to relief. 'You can?' She cried, tears renewing afresh. I knelt down beside her, moaning audibly as the fire in my blood doubled its temperature. It was excruciating. My power was thrashing in my veins, dying to come out. 'I can.' I said with a shaky voice, pulling my dagger out from under my tunic. The girl held her mother's hand as she saw me pull out the blade. She looked fearful again now and I swallowed, cutting open her mother's kimono to expose the wound. She'd been stabbed through the stomach. I took in a deep breath. 'Can you close your eyes?' I requested. She looked at me suspiciously but she was so desperate she did exactly as I said. Even with her eyes closed she was crying. The tears dripped from her face, each filled with so much anguish I could sense it.

I bit my lip as I sliced my palm open. The blood was blinding gold when it started to pour from my hand. Its light almost blinded me and I squinted as it trickled onto the floor like drops of liquid sunlight. It was so hot that I almost cried out but I knew what I had to do.

I pressed it without hesitation to her mother's wound. In reaction to my power I felt the floor shook a little, rattling the pots and pans on the stove and causing the bracelet on my wrist to vibrate. I bit my lip as I concentrated on not letting too much of my power drain into her but it was more difficult than I thought it would be to control my power willingly. Just like the other night when I'd tried to transform, it seemed too feral to be controlled without a fight.

After a few minutes of silence save for the gentle drone of my power in the air, her wound started to close. The gold light from the injury reflected on every surface in the room as the flesh sewed itself together. The girl had now opened her eyes to look at what I was doing, her eyes as wide as Kaoru's had been when he'd seen our father laying on the dirt. We both watched in awe as layers of muscle and organ were restored to wholeness right in front of our eyes. It was incredible to see a wound heal so quickly and I was filled with both pride and relief as I realised I was doing it right. I would have done this a hundred times over if it meant saving a child from being an orphan like me.

Finally, the wound sealed itself shut.

The line of where the two sides of flesh had connected was blazing white hot but it quickly faded, as did the hum in the air from my power. I pulled my hand off her skin and directed my power to heal my own wound, watching the golden sparks fall from the cut as my flesh knitted back together.

I slumped my shoulders in fatigue as I put my hands into my lap. The colour was slowing returning to her mother's face and I pressed my fingers to her pulse, overjoyed when I felt it start to beat faster. When I looked at the girl she was gaping at me. She wasn't crying anymore but her eyes were still red. I smiled a little at her, but she spoke before I could. 'Are you an angel?' She asked. The expression on her face told me she was serious. I lowered my eyes, shaking my head. 'No. I'm not.' I murmured, unsure of what I would say if she pressed for answers. But she didn't; she only turned back to her mother and took her hand again, pressing it to her face. I wiped my own tears off my cheeks. 'She will wake up soon, I promise. Take this and go into the forest when she does.' I said, handing her the sac of food that I'd found. 'If you follow that path west for a few hours you'll find a river there where you can find water.'

I watched the girl look up at me again, her forehead creased. Her lips started to tremble at my words and before I knew it, she'd thrown herself onto me. I felt all my composure melt as she started to sob. She held me so tightly around the chest I thought she was going to break my ribs and I knew without her having to speak that she was saying thank you. I hugged her back, stroking her ash-filled hair. I could say nothing as she cried into my tunic because I was so overcome with emotion. I felt like I was a few seconds from breaking down myself.

After a whole two minutes of sobbing incessantly, she finally let me go to turn to her mother who was now flushed with pink and breathing normally. I could see the rise and fall of her chest. It was only a matter of time before she awoke.

'Chizuru.'

Kazama's voice was steely. I could tell he was livid and I knew exactly why. But I didn't care in the slightest what he thought about what I'd just done. I would have used my powers in front of a thousand humans if it meant saving this girl's mother. I focused my attention back on the girl and smiled at her. 'I have to go now.' I said softly as I got to my feet. I swayed a little as I shoved my dagger back underneath my tunic. It appeared that even though I'd succeeded in restricting the amount of energy I'd given the woman, it had still been too much to allow my own body to function properly. I could feel the exhaustion clouding my mind. She peered up at me. 'Thank you.' She said, eyes brimming with sparkly tears. I smiled at her. 'Take care of her.' I requested, and with that I turned around to walk back to Kazama.

Amagiri took my hand and helped me step over the debris on the ground. I could barely lift my feet to walk and each moment it was getting worse. Amagiri didn't let me go as we emerged back onto the street.

I could sense Kazama was just seconds off flipping out. He had his back to me and was already walking back to the village gates. But I wasn't scared of him. No matter how many times he reprimanded me for this, no matter how many days he would brood for I knew I would never regret it. Even if he abandoned me at this very moment and I had to walk to Ezo myself I knew I would be content. Knowing I had saved that girl from being an orphan would be worth whatever Hell Kazama would unleash.

I trailed along behind him with my arm resting on Amagiri's for support but I could tell I was only moments away from losing consciousness. The colour was beginning to fade from my vision, my limbs were growing numb and it was getting progressively more difficult to coordinate myself.

With a small groan, I fell forward onto my knees and I felt Amagiri catch me.

Kazama's back was the last thing I saw before I was swallowed by darkness.

* * *

 **Ending note**

This was a depressing chapter to write but important in order to shed some light on what happened the night her village was massacred. You will find out later on what happened to her mother, so don't worry; I haven't left that out.


	19. Guilt

**WARNING** \- this chapter contains a naughty word

* * *

 **Guilt**

I groaned as I awoke.

My muscles were stiff as I rolled over but I wasn't tired anymore. I could feel the warmth of the fire on my face and I opened my eyes just as all the memories of last night came to me. The village, the girl… my flashback. I bit my lip as my throat tightened. The scenes of my father's death would haunt me for a long time after this day. It had been my first ever flashback whilst awake. Generally my memories came in the form of dreams.

It seemed to be around midday. We were out in the forest again and I could hear the rush of water not too far off. Judging by the density of the trees and their rich green colour, we were right near a river.

When I sat up, the first thing I saw was Amagiri. When he noticed me get up he appeared before me. 'Chizuru-sama. Are you feeling ok?' He asked. I nodded, wiping the sleep from my eyes. 'I feel fine. Just a little sore, that's all.' I assured him. He seemed relieved. 'That's good. Are you hungry?' He asked. I thought for a few seconds before I answered. 'Not at the moment. I'll eat when I've woken up a little bit more. Have you all eaten?' I asked. He nodded as he adjusted his kneeling position. 'Yes, we have. Here's your water.' He said, handing me my flask. I thanked him and he moved back over to the tree he had been sitting under. When I looked around, I noticed Shiranui was sitting on a branch lazily like he almost always was when we stopped for breaks.

I turned away from him to search for Kazama.

And I found him. Sitting underneath a tree in the shade away from us with his back to me. He was tense from head to toe and I could tell the expression he had on his face was akin to one he reserved for humans. He hadn't calmed down a single bit.

I laid back down on my futon and stared at the pale blue sky. The truth was I was angry too. I was furious with him for attempting to stop me from saving that girl's mother. It was unfathomable how he could have watched that scene play out with a complete lack of emotion. Whatever he said to me I knew I would argue it until he backed down because there was no way I was going to let him try and chastise me for doing what I did.

I took a sip from my flask and placed it beside me, closing my eyes. With last night's events, my flashback, Kazama's anger and the use of my clan power I just wanted to go back to sleep to forget it all.

I opened my eyes as a shadow passed over my face. I sat up to see Kazama standing by the fire with his back to me. He was putting more wood on it and I watched him meekly as he tended to the flames. Had he looked after me last night too? Had I even needed looking after last night? After all, I'd managed to control my powers somewhat. I'd only fainted because I'd needed a substantial amount of energy to heal that woman because she'd been so close to death. But I felt fine now.

'We're leaving as soon as you're ready.' His voice startled me a little because I hadn't expected he would talk to me so soon. 'Ok.' I murmured. I kicked the blanket off my legs and got to rolling up my futon. His tone hadn't sounded particularly angry but I could tell from his body language that he was furious. I'd never seen Kazama completely lose his cool before but something was telling me this might be the first time.

'Bathe yourself first. You smell like human.' He said tightly. He still wasn't looking at me. I felt a little bit of frustration well up at his words but I needed to bathe anyway so I obliged. I stood up and sighed, going to walk over to Yuki where my toiletries were. She greeted me with a little snort and a shake of the head and I pat her face softly. My eyes shifted to where the arrow wound had been. There was no evidence that she'd ever been injured, just like how my palm bore no scars. If I could heal people so immaculately and even bring them back from the dead then maybe I was more powerful than what I was giving myself credit for. In my mind power was equated to the ability to help other people. If I could do all this then I knew I could save hundreds of those who would die otherwise and I felt warmth in my heart knowing I had the ability to follow in my father's footsteps of healing those who needed it. All these years of being nothing but a burden to the Shinsengumi and now I had something to offer them. All I had ever wanted was to be useful to the men who'd cared for me for so long.

I was deep in my thought, stroking Yuki's neck when Kazama interrupted me again. 'Hurry up.' He barked. I jumped a little at his words but I only sighed, pressing my lips together. I didn't know how long I could take of him like this before I reacted unpleasantly. I knew if I snapped though, he would snap even worse and I didn't particularly want that. So I did as he asked, snatching my toiletries from my bag.

When I turned around to walk off, I realised he'd turned to me. Our eyes met and I felt the blood in my veins turn to ice. He was glaring at me with so much anger that I froze in place. His eyes were almost on fire. They were so red that fear plastered my feet to the ground.

When he didn't look away from me for a few seconds, I felt my own anger rise to the surface. I could tell what he wanted to say to me and I cared naught for it. I knew in that moment that it would take a while for me to forgive him for trying to stop me last night. He hadn't even tried to hide how little he cared for the life of that woman or the childhood of that girl and I shuddered to think what he would have done if I had indeed stayed back with Shiranui. What would he have done with the child? Left her to wander off into the woods to die, or killed her to put her out of her misery? It would only have been one of the two options and the very thought of either made my blood boil.

I squared my shoulders and pouted at him. 'What?' I said.

I didn't say it particularly snappily but it was all that was needed for him to flip out.

'What do you mean what?' He exploded, fists clenching. When he yelled the fire surged, rising up a few metres higher than it should have been. I gasped at it in surprise before it dwindled down to its normal size and started to spit and crackle again. When I turned back to him his eyes flickered gold but it was gone in an instant. Amagiri and Shiranui turned to gape at him in surprise. I'd never heard him yell like that before but I didn't want to yell back because I knew I wouldn't be able to stop.

If he noticed, he didn't care. He seemed intent on trying to break me. 'You do realise you may have just jeopardised our existence? For centuries we've slaved away at trying to hide ourselves from humans and your little act last night may have just undone all our efforts!'

Normally by this stage Amagiri would have intervened but I pondered if even he may have been too scared to. I looked away from him as I clenched my fists. I was begging myself not to be affected by his words lest I start to yell as well but it was incredibly difficult when he was speaking to me so condescendingly.

When I didn't speak again, he materialised right in front of me. His sudden appearance made me flinch a little but his proximity didn't make me blush like it normally would. He wasn't trying to be charming or seductive; he was livid. He looked down at me menacingly. 'How _dare_ you.' He growled, pointing at me to emphasise his words. His voice was low and threatening and I could see the anger seething in his eyes.

That was the last straw.

I threw my toiletries on the ground as he successfully managed to break the last of my self-control. 'Are you serious right now?' I cried up at him. Normally he would act shocked at my tone but today nothing could shake him out of his rage. He hissed a little in fury but I didn't give him time to continue. 'Are you that cold hearted that you could watch a child scream over her dying mother and not do anything?' I shouted. His lips curled upwards at my words like I was nothing but a dirty worm. 'If it was to protect my clan then I would do anything, even let a woman die. Do you understand what happened to your own village? Have you forgotten the fate of your parents because the secret of our existence got out? We've spent _years_ trying to rebuild our secrecy and your act of ill-placed pity last night may have just destroyed all that!' He yelled straight back. That hit me right where it hurt. I recoiled a little at his words as they caused the images of my flashback last night to return to the forefront of my mind. How could he speak so cynically about what happened to my parents and my clan? It felt like he was blaming me.

I pushed him away as hard as I could and he staggered back a little. 'I remember _exactly_ what happened to my parents! I saw myself in that child crying over her dying mother, just like how I did when I watched my father die! If I had not have saved that woman when I knew I could I wouldn't have been able to live with myself knowing I made that child an orphan like me. How _dare_ you try and push that guilt on me! You know exactly what befell my village and the grief it's caused me and you still have the audacity to stand there and call me stupid for saving that child from being an orphan! What the fuck is wrong with you?' I cried up at him, taking a few steps back from him as I tried desperately to salvage some composure.

His eyes widened a little at my language and he didn't speak as he watched me fight for tranquillity. I'd never said words like those before but all my emotions were boiling over and bringing up all the pain and suffering of my parents' deaths. I couldn't get the picture of my father's face out of my mind, laying down on the dirt in front of us with blood spreading all over the ground. And it was his death that pushed my brother to murder another person; it made sense now why he'd seemed so cold and callous. It was because of his pain. It was because of his grief and hopelessness, and the feeling of being alone because we'd been separated that night. If I had have grown up knowing what happen to my clan like he had, it was likely I would have been driven mad too.

Kazama narrowed his eyes when he recovered from his surprise. 'You may have just condemned a whole _village_ to being orphans. You let your emotions cloud your judgement. The reality is that a human now knows of our powers and if word gets out then we could see a repeat of the events that led to the extinction of your clan. That's why I tried to stop you.' He spat, crossing his arms. I shook my head as his words entered my ears. I couldn't stand him any longer, not if he was going to come up with arguments like that. How was a young child going to bring about our extinction? Even if she was to tell someone, who would believe her anyway?

I crossed my arms tightly. 'I would have still done it even if I was surrounded by all the humans in the country! Maybe I am incapable of seeing the consequences of my actions but my father would never have let that woman die. He healed all those that came to him, even humans. What's the point of possessing this power if I can't use it to do exactly what it's meant to do? I'm not as heartless as you! Human or not, no one deserves to suffer like that.' I spat. He looked at me incredulously. ' _Heartless_?' He growled. 'Looking after my kin is not heartless. Ensuring our secrecy is preserved in order to prevent the further massacre of our people is not heartless. For centuries we've been the victims of slaughter, hunted like animals, and by doing what you did you've just exposed our existence to yet another pathetic human. I have a duty to protect my people, as do you.' He snapped. My lips twisted at his words and I pressed my hand to my forehead in an effort to calm the pounding ache in my head. His words were like needles in my brain. 'I have a duty to do what I feel is right! I have these powers for a reason and it's not to pretend I don't have them when people need my help. Maybe if humans saw less onis like you going around killing people and trying to kidnap women then they might not be so desperate to wipe out our race. No wonder they liken us to animals! And while we are on this topic, you don't hesitate to use your abilities when fighting humans so honestly you're being such a damn hypocrite right now!' I shouted.

His eyes really did go gold then. His black pupils went so tiny I could barely see them and I gasped as he gripped my shoulders, his fingers clamping down like the jaws of a bear. 'What I do out there is for my people. The whole reason I'm here is in order to fulfil my debt to the Satsuma clan so we can live in peace without human interference. I kill to repay that debt and it doesn't matter if I use my powers in front of them because they die promptly after. And in regards to my efforts to kidnap you, I was only trying to return you back to where you belong, with me and your kin. I wanted you as my wife so you could bear offspring powerful enough to protect the future of my clan even after I am gone. Everything I have ever done is to protect the ones I care about so have some dignity for yourself and stop running your treacherous mouth.'

I made a sound of disgust. 'You really do think of me as a broodmare, don't you? It would bring me shame to give someone like you the gift of innocent children! You speak about your own kids like they're just tools, things to control and manipulate to do what you want! The poor things would be condemned to a life of sadness and misery having you as a father so if you think I'd willingly bring your children into the world, then you're in for disappointment. And quite frankly I'd rather kill myself than sleep with you anyway!' I cried, trying to pull myself from his grasp.

But he wasn't letting go.

He was so enraged by my words that he couldn't even speak for a few seconds. I could see his hair fading to white and he was moments off losing the rest of his control. He clenched his teeth as he held me tighter. 'Just because my duty is to give pureblood children to my clan doesn't mean I would not care for them like a normal father would. The same also applies to you as my wife. Your assumptions of me show exactly how shallow you are.' He spat. I grit my teeth, finally managing to get his hands off me. 'My assumptions of you are not based on shallowness but on your behaviour. When you talk about me it's like I'm not even a person; to you my only worth lies in my fertility. Now _that's_ downright insulting! You can't honestly stand there in front of me and say you've nothing to cause me to believe what I do about you. Are you blind or is your arrogance so profound that you can't put yourself in my shoes and see how perfectly justifiable it is that I thought you were a monster?' I cried. I was trembling with so much anger and pain that I didn't even notice the look of horror in his face. 'I am _not_ a monster. I was trying to…'

'No!' I cried. I glared up at him with resolution. 'You weren't thinking about my wellbeing at all! You were only thinking about yourself and your 'duty'. Have you ever considered that you aren't married yet because no woman can tolerate you? I could never marry a man who cares so little for other people. When you have power and influence you have to be charitable to others, not look down at them. You've been given a gift and you choose to spend those precious years of immortality wallowing in hatred for a race you claim to understand but don't. I've lived among humans for years and I've seen them show more humility as simple citizens than you!' I yelled. I was beginning to feel lightheaded and dizzy from all my anger. I'd never, ever talked to someone like this before but I just couldn't stop. I felt like I was letting out 4 years of frustration against not only him but everything else that had happened in my life.

He didn't speak but I could tell he was angry. When he chose not to say anything, I shook my throbbing head and sighed. 'You say you'd care for me as your wife but why did you treat me like that? I spent every night in the Shinsengumi headquarters petrified that you'd come along and take me away to be your personal whore. I was…'

'Chizuru!' He snapped, cutting me off mid-sentence.

I jumped at the suddenness of his tone, waiting for him to continue but he just turned away from me to glare at the ground. 'Is that what you think? That I want you to be my personal whore?' He said after a few seconds of painful silence. The words didn't seem to come from his mouth with ease. When I didn't answer he turned his head to look at me sharply. 'Is that what you think of me?' He demanded louder. I wasn't going to get away with not giving him an answer. I licked my dry lips, lowering my eyes from his gaze. 'Can't you see how your behaviour lead me to believe that?' I murmured.

He turned away from me again then. The silence this time was even more agonising. It appeared he was… hurt. I didn't need to be able to read him very well to know that. I feel a little bit guilty but it wasn't like what I'd said was unjustified. After all those years of ordering me to marry him and bear his children, it kind of shocked me to see that he hadn't known that's how he'd made me feel.

His voice startled me from my thoughts. 'As my wife you'd be my companion. Whether we wed as strangers or lovers I would treat you with respect. I admit how I conducted myself in the past wasn't particularly courteous but it angered me that you wanted to stay with those humans and that I couldn't persuade you to come with me. You are aware that those bastards would have killed you if you hadn't have mentioned Kodo was your father? They only kept you alive because they thought they could get information from you. You left me with no choice but to take you by force because not only had you lost your memories of your oni heritage, but you were so infatuated with those rabid dogs that you couldn't see that they were just using you.' He muttered, shaking his head like he couldn't believe what I'd said. 'To hear you say you thought I would have made you my personal whore…' He trailed off, his voice quiet but by no means void of disgust. He shook his head again. 'Go and bathe. I've heard enough from you.'

Hearing those words come from his mouth sobered me up a little but I was still irritated. I pursed my lips as he continued to glare at the ground. 'It wasn't up to you to decide what was best for me. It would have been far more appropriate for you to try and get to know me and teach me about our race so when the time came I could decide for myself which path I wanted to follow. I didn't even understand what you _were_. Why would I go with someone who not only I didn't understand, but sounded like he only wanted me as a breeding slave?' I scoffed incredulously, putting my hands on my hips.

He stared at me then, the gleam of rage dancing in his eyes. 'Then let's clear this up now.' He spat. He turned to face me front on, folding his arms and locking our eyes together. He appeared to be both disgusted and angry. 'As my wife you will _not_ be my breeding slave. You will be my equal in both my eyes and the eyes of my clan and you will want for nothing as long as you are by my side. Even after marriage I will wait until you are ready to be one with me and I will cherish the children you give me like any other father would. I will do my duties as your husband not because I am being forced to but because I will care for you and in time, I also have no doubt that we will grow to love each other. You will be cared for and appreciated, as will our children, because you will be my family. I may have been brazen in the past but I am not the cold-hearted, soulless beast that you seem to believe I am. Do you understand this now, or would you like even more clarification?'

I stared at him blankly, shocked at what he'd said. Could he really be like that? Could he really be such a husband and father?

He clicked his tongue as I said nothing. 'I don't want to hear you accusing me ever again of thinking of you as a personal whore. I have never thought of you like that despite what my behaviour supposedly led you to believe. I just didn't know what else I could have done to make you come with me especially because you were so enamoured with that Shinsengumi dog. I maybe should have gone about gaining your attention in a slightly more valiant way but I've never been good at co…cour…' He trailed off as the word got caught in his throat and I blinked as I saw him shift awkwardly.

When he finally said it, he couldn't look me in the eye. 'Courtship.'

A strange silence came over the campsite.

My mouth fell open as I looked at him. He looked entirely pained that the word had even left his mouth and I found my cheeks becoming hot. I wasn't exactly angry anymore and neither was he. It was an awkward emotion between guilt, frustration and embarrassment. It was a rare day indeed to hear Kazama talking about his weaknesses, courtship apparently being one of them, and to hear such tender exclamations of how he would care for me as his wife extinguished my last spark of anger.

After I didn't speak yet again, he spun on his heel and marched off towards the forest.

I was utterly confused. 'Kazama-san…' I went to call after him. He raised his hand to silence me and not a second later he'd disappeared.

Now that Kazama was gone, Amagiri and Shiranui's gazes had turned to me. They didn't speak or move but I could tell they were a dumbfounded by what had just happened. I didn't want to look at them because I was so ashamed. I didn't know who they thought was more at fault, Kazama or I, but I didn't need to know in order to feel humiliated.

I just wanted to disappear.

Amagiri and Shiranui watched me go without protest as I picked up my toiletries and stormed off towards the river.

I followed the sound of the water rushing downstream and I couldn't wait to jump headfirst into the cold. I felt like I needed a freezing bath to calm myself down. My heart was pounding with the adrenaline of the argument but I could feel I was only moments from breaking down. I could already feel the tears stinging behind my eyes and sadness replacing the anger that had now fizzled away to almost nothing.

I was relieved when I came to the river and I threw myself down on the grass beside the river bank. I finally started to cry as I huddled there, hugging my knees and pressing my face into the crook of my elbow. I was upset because of all the emotions swirling inside of me and because of what he'd said to me. I was disappointed in him for defending the fact he tried to stop me from saving that woman and I was exasperated that he'd flipped out on me so severely for saving someone's life and protecting a child from being orphaned. But now I was guilty too. Guilty for having assumed those things about him even though it had been justified, especially because of how much it seemed to have hurt him.

I quickly stripped off my clothes and got into the water, the coldness sobering me up. I washed the tears from my face and the sweat from my body as I struggled to get the fight out of my mind. I couldn't help but feel like I'd overstepped a little by saying all those things about how disgusting it would be giving birth to his children and how he'd be a bad father too, especially after hearing him explain so clearly that he'd care for his family. I mean, he was arrogant but I really had no idea what type of husband and father he'd be. I'd even told him I would rather die than sleep with him!

I continued to cry softly as I leaned against the river bank and rested my head on the edge, feeling the water swish around my shoulders.

After a few minutes I began to feel numb, both inside and out, and the tears stopped promptly after. I just rested against the river bank absentmindedly as the burning in my eyes ceased and my anger faded. I realised I had needed to yell. Not necessarily at him, even though he'd been the cause of my anger, but I'd needed a way to vent all my frustration about everything that had built up. I was stressed about the Shinsengumi, traumatised because of what I'd seen in the village and above all I was grieving afresh for the death of my father. I'd never known what happened to him before yesterday when I'd seen the flashback. I was in some way relieved I knew but it would take a long time before the hollow agony in my chest retreated.

Some time had passed before I thought about getting out. Now that I had calmed down considerably, I didn't want to go back. I was embarrassed that I'd yelled like that in front of Shiranui and Amagiri and I didn't want to face them. Worst of all was the possibility that Kazama had returned. I knew I wouldn't be able to look him in the eye for days, not just because of my anger but because of my guilt as well. Even though I was trying so hard to stay angry at him I couldn't ignore the fact I'd hurt his feelings.

He'd had such trouble saying that word. Did he mean he'd wanted to… _court_ me?

I finally dragged myself from the water and dried myself lethargically. It felt nice to be clean but each second I got closer to being clothed was a second closer to having to go back. When I'd dressed myself fully I just lay on the grass and languished. I tried to muster up the courage to return but I felt like I was too weak to walk. So I just stayed there.

It had been at least an hour in total before Amagiri came to find me.

When he saw me lying on the grass, he approached. 'Chizuru-sama?' He asked. I cringed at the sound of his voice. I couldn't look at him just yet. 'Mmm?' I questioned, hoping he wouldn't tell me Kazama had returned and that we were leaving. When he heard my non-committal answer I felt him sit down a few metres from me. 'Are you feeling better?' He asked. I didn't know. I didn't feel angry anymore but it had been replaced with numbness. I sighed. 'I'm not sure.' I didn't want to talk about it anymore so I changed the subject. 'Are we leaving?' I inquired softly, still not rising from my place on the grass. Amagiri was a little slow to answer, almost like he was choosing his words wisely. 'We are once you've come back. I was sent to find you.'

I winced.

 _I was sent to find you._

I knew he meant by Kazama. I would have given anything in that moment to have died so I never had to face him again but I knew I couldn't lay there forever, especially now that I knew they were definitely all waiting for me.

I rolled over onto my back and sat up. Amagiri watched me in silence as I hugged my knees. My hair was soaking through my shirt and freezing my back but I didn't care. It was a welcome distraction to the agony I was about to endure. All these fears were swirling around in my head and Amagiri was silent as he watched hundreds of emotions flicker across my face. 'Kazama-sama may have acted out of turn but his anger doesn't last for as long as you might think. He will be back to normal soon enough.' Amagiri tried to console me, but it wasn't his anger that I was worried about. After all, I'd dealt with his anger on numerous occasions. Seeing him hurt, on the other hand… I'd never seen that before. I grimaced. 'I think I may have upset him.' I mumbled. He watched me pensively for a while without speaking. It seemed like he agreed but I couldn't discern anything else from the silence between us.

'Come on. We've only got a few hours to go.' He said all of a sudden, getting up off the grass. I groaned inwardly as I pulled myself up as well and started to follow him back to the campsite.

My stomach was knotted with butterflies.

When we got back, I felt a wave of crushing regret come over me as I saw Kazama packing his things back into the saddlebag. He knew I was there but he appeared not to care. He flipped the lid of the bag shut and roughly pulled on his riding gloves. Amagiri shot me an encouraging look and I sighed, shuffling over to Kazama as he prepared to mount.

I couldn't bear to look at him out of shame. Before I could speak I saw his fingers unclipping my bag from Yuki's saddle. The sight made my stomach drop. He tossed it to me lazily without even looking at my direction. 'Go with Amagiri.'

The words felt like a dagger to my heart. When I took a peek at his face, his eyes looked empty.

I really _had_ hurt him.

My guilt returned full force and I turned around to head towards Amagiri. He took my bag from me sympathetically and hooked it up to Yoru's saddle. I was trying my hardest not to cry. I would have rathered he was angry with me because I knew how to handle that. I'd seen his anger so many times, either directed at me or someone else so it was easy to figure out how to manage him. But I'd never seen Kazama like this. I had no idea why it made me feel so terrible.

Amagiri helped me up to sit behind him. Once we were all on our horses, the jerk of Kazama's head told us that we were leaving.

We followed him out of the small clearing and back into the thicket.

He rode in front of us with a straight back. It was weird seeing him from the back of Yoru and not from the back of Yuki. I'd grown used to the way we kind of moulded together automatically when we were both riding. He no longer needed to tell me to shift backwards to give him more space or complain about how my legs were in the way of his because with almost 2 months of riding together we'd grown used to being on the same horse.

I averted my eyes from Kazama's back as we broke through the thicket and onto the dirt path and once we were all safely out of the forest and into the clear, Kazama didn't hesitate to order everyone around. 'Let's go.' He commanded. Amagiri shifted a little in his saddle, tilting his head to look at me. 'Ready?' He asked. I nodded, wrapping my arms around his torso.

He turned back to the front kicked Yoru into a gallop after both Kazama and Shiranui had done the same.

* * *

 **Ending note**

Wow that was an intense chapter but sooooo fun to write! This chapter was Kazama's opportunity to put at ease Chizuru's fears that he only wants her because she can give him powerful babies. It's an important part of the development between the two. Let's hope Chizuru believes him… :o


	20. Dried blood

**Cassiel-** Haha voila, la prochaine chapitre ! J'espere que tu l'aimes :3 merci de tes reviews

 **Oshiet** \- Thank you! I'm glad you liked it; I hope you enjoy this chapter as well haha

 **Aonami96** \- Thanks for your review :) Chapter 19 was definitely one of my favourite chapters to write because of the drama. I appreciate that you like the way I depict their personalities; for me, Kazama and Chizuru are a perfect match because of who they are as people and I think they balance themselves out very well as a couple. I hope you keep reading :)

 **Umi amano** \- Aww thank you! It means so much to hear that you like it that much :3 I really do work hard on this story and I honestly love writing it. It makes me happy that others appreciate it as well. I hope you like this chapter :3

 **NyaPowa** \- Thanks for the review :) I know I did it again haha but I think it's very much like Chizuru to be sensitive to other people's hurt even if she wasn't in the wrong! She is still adamant though that she won't apologise for the use of her clan power, because she got to save someone's life. And Chikage is not stupid but he's slightly impatient haha (more than slightly). So kidnapping was the fastest option! I hope you like this chapter and please continue to review my work :)

 **Guest 3446** \- Thank youuu! I so agree with you, I hated how she was so useless in the anime (even if she had good intentions) so when I started to plan this story I made SURE that she would be more capable than she was in the series :D it made me so mad that we didn't learn more about the onis and their powers so that's why that's a big theme of my story because to me, its fascinating! I also try to have a mix of themes, like the ones you said; action, drama and humour, among others. I think that keeps a story engaging. Thank you again!

* * *

 **Dried blood**

The fading streaks of daylight caressed our skin as we made our way through the forest to find somewhere to sleep for the night.

We'd been travelling since daybreak, stopping only to rest and water the horses. It had been pleasant riding with Amagiri; now that I was fully used to riding on the back of a galloping horse, the travel was becoming far less taxing on my body. I realised how much longer it would have taken to get to Ezo if I had have chosen to go on my own and I was grateful that the 3 oni arrived at Sen's house when they did. Even though it had been bizarre at first to travel with them, I had to admit to myself that it was somewhat agreeable travelling in their company. I wondered what the Shinsengumi would say when they discovered I'd travelled to Ezo with Kazama. No doubt they would be no less shocked than Sen was.

The weather was beautiful for late evening. The sun was scraping the horizon, the drone of insects echoed throughout the air and there was not a single cloud in the sky.

It would have been a perfect day actually, if not for the fact Kazama still refused to look at me.

More than a full day had passed since our nasty argument. He was riding in front of us, manoeuvring through the trees gracefully. I coyly admired the way his body moved so fluidly along with the jolts of Yuki's movement, his hips rocking back and forth in his saddle. From behind he appeared even more regal on horseback and it was only exacerbated by his long cape and the dancing of the sunlight in his hair. He hadn't spoken a single word to me since he'd told me to go with Amagiri and the only words I'd heard him say to the others were orders.

I averted my eyes from Kazama's back before I worked myself up again. I didn't know what to do. How long would this go on for? Would it fix itself or would I have to apologise? My stomach twisted a little bit at the thought. If I was to apologise it would be for what I'd said and not for saving that child's mother. He was probably still dwelling on how I'd used my powers in public but I knew I'd never say sorry for that, because I wasn't. I'd never be sorry no matter how many days he was like this for.

Eventually we came to a spot that was suitable for the night.

I dismounted after Amagiri had and watched out of the corner of my eye as Kazama got down from Yuki. His face was like stone, unreadable and expressionless, but his eyes were an odd colour. They had darkened to the colour of dried blood and the sight only filled me with even more remorse. I'd never seen his eyes go so dark before, almost like he was empty.

No one spoke as we started to set out the campsite. Everyone had their own task. Amagiri cleared some grass for a fire pit, Shiranui went off to find firewood, Kazama left to scout and I stayed back to get dinner ready.

Once Kazama and Shiranui had disappeared, only Amagiri and I remained at the campsite. My shoulders slouched in relief as I saw Kazama leave and I pulled out all the cooking utensils and food from Yoru's saddlebag. I'd been looking forward to cooking all day because it always managed to help me get my mind off things. I was never happier than when I was cooking and it made me feel proud that I could create something for others to enjoy. Tonight we were having vegetable soup.

Amagiri had finished making the fire pit when I started peeling the carrots. He moved all the grass he'd pulled up into the bushes and went back to the horses to unclip their saddles and take them off. Once he'd finished he sat back down near the fire pit, like there was a real fire there. I felt his eyes shift to me and I began to feel self-conscious, but he didn't let me wallow in embarrassment for too long before he spoke. 'You've been very quiet today.' He noted. He knew why that was but he was giving me an opportunity to talk about it. He was always so thoughtful. I sighed. 'I guess.' I murmured, not looking up as I continued to prepare the vegetables. Amagiri watched me pensively for a few more seconds. 'I can see you're dwelling on what happened between you and Kazama-sama. I must admit I've rarely seen him get so worked up but I've known him for a long time and he will calm down in due time.' He promised. His words only reassured me a little. 'I said some really horrible things to him. I mean, everything that I thought had been based on how he treated me but…' I trailed off. My memories were on a loop in my head, replaying all the things I said about how he would be a horrible father and husband. After what he'd said about not being very good at courtship, I could kind of understand how he might have believed his behaviour was justifiable. His social skills were appalling and therefore it was plausible that inside his head kidnapping me was the only way to get me to come with him. Maybe he really had had my best intentions at heart even if he showed it in a really horrible way. By trying to take me away from the humans he was only trying to protect me from further harm and from being used like our race had been so many times in the past. The thought was mind-blowing especially after so many years of believing his actions stemmed from selfishness.

'How many years have you known Kazama-san for?' I asked, wanting to get off the topic. Amagiri seemed to understand my intention and he released me from talking about it. He brushed some dirt of his knees. 'I've known him since he was a toddler. Our parents were very good friends.' He said. I had to pause peeling for a moment. I couldn't imagine Kazama as a child. I wondered what his childhood had been like and whether he'd been happy. 'Have you ever been to the Kazama village?' I asked him. Amagiri nodded. 'Many times, both for personal and business reasons. His clan is one of the largest clans of all 9. His people are very well cared for.' He said. I thought back to yesterday when he'd told me he'd care for me, too. For a split second I pictured myself by his side. I imagined lazy days sitting outside on the decking of our house, enjoying the warmth of the sun and enjoying each other's company. I'd cook him his favourite food, make sure all his clothes were washed for the next day, kiss him on the cheek when he came through the door… such domestic scenes but there was something so beautiful in imagining a simple life. I wondered if he could promise me a life like that because that's the one I wanted.

I went red as I realised just been fantasising about a future with him. Every time I'd pictured married life it had been with Hijikata but I didn't understand or even want to think about why it was becoming easier and easier to imagine a life like that with Kazama too. Out of desperation to distract myself, I blurted out another question. 'What does his village look like?' I asked. I could see Amagiri was slightly perplexed on why I seemed so flustered but he put aside his confusion to answer. 'It's very beautiful. His village is situated around a giant lake in the middle of a valley only a few kilometres from the sea. His village is known by other oni clans as the Village of Eternal Autumn, as the trees are red and orange all year round and the weather is quite pleasant; very fitting considering Kazama-sama celebrates his birthday on the first day of fall.' Amagiri said. My eyes widened. 'Kazama-san's birthday is the 1st of September?' I gasped. The date had no particular significance to me but I was just surprised to find out something so personal about him. Would we still be travelling in September? It was only coming into June now, the start of summer. Amagiri surprised me by laughing. 'Don't tell him I told you. He likes to keep personal details secret.' He said. I smiled and nodded. 'I promise. So…what was he like as a child?' I asked. I had no idea why I was so curious about him. Well, I did kind of know. It was because he was always so secretive and mysterious and I knew he wouldn't tell me anything like this by himself. Any information I could find out about him was welcome.

Amagiri chuckled, shaking his head slightly. 'Well… Young Kazama-sama was virtually a smaller version of himself now. He was very fortunate to be raised by parents that loved him above all else and ensured he was happy but being both a pureblood and a clan leader the burden of responsibility on his shoulders was heavy even when he still crawling. But… there's also a side to him that's sensitive. He's always been gentle on the inside despite all the walls he puts up to hide it. I'm sure you've seen snippets of that.' Amagiri said. I thought about his words as I filtered through my memories. He was right, I had seen examples of his gentleness; through how he touched me whenever I was hurt and comforted me in his own way when I was sad. I was pleased to hear he'd been loved as a child. 'So why was he chosen to repay the debt rather than someone else from the clan?' I asked as I chopped up the carrots and put them in the pot. He smiled. 'He was not chosen. He volunteered.' He said simply. I frowned at him suspiciously. 'Kazama-san _volunteered_ to go into the human world?' I scoffed in disbelief and Amagiri only chuckled. 'It was _because_ he was clan leader that he chose to go. He knew it would be a long and dangerous process and he did not wish to put any of his people in such a situation.' He said. I paused my cutting for a second. He sacrificed himself to protect those in his clan? There was once a time I never would have thought Kazama capable of doing something so selfless. I really did know nothing about him and I wondered what other parts to him he'd been hiding. After telling me he would treat me and our children well and now finding out he'd volunteered to repay the debt he could have easily gotten someone else to do, I was shocked. This wasn't the bloodthirsty, cold hearted killer that I'd believed him to be while I was in the Shinsengumi. He was indeed complicated.

I resumed cutting as I managed to compose myself. 'So how long has it been since you have been in the human world?' I questioned. He sighed, like it pained him to say. 'This will be the sixth year.' He said. I gaped at him in shock. 'Six years? Have you been back to your clan at all since then?' I gasped. I couldn't believe it. That was such a ridiculously long time. Amagiri's expression only turned even more morbid. 'No. Our villages are simply too far away to warrant visits. I am very much looking forward to the end of the war when I can go back and I presume Kazama-sama is too. Shiranui on the other hand… he's more of a nomad. He was raised in a loving family in the Shiranui clan but he's too much of an adventurer to enjoy a docile life stuck in one place. He also volunteered to fulfil the debt his people had, just so he could sightsee.' He sighed. That didn't really surprise me as Shiranui didn't seem like he could be tied down very easily. I let out a deep breath. 'Wow. That's a long time. But at least you met Osen-chan, right?' I said. I was surprised when I felt him tense. When I looked at him I swore I could see the faintest pink to his cheeks and the sight almost caused a grin to split across my face. I fought down the giggle that wanted to come out of my mouth and he reluctantly answered. 'Yes. That's true.' He murmured. I bit my lip to stop myself from smiling. Who would have thought such a comment could fluster such a serious looking man. Maybe Sen and him were an even better match than I thought. She was also tough on the outside but deep down she was sensitive and mushy.

Deciding to spare him from his embarrassment, I asked a more bitter question. 'Amagiri-san… did Osen-chan know about my family in the Midori clan?' I asked cautiously. I was kind of afraid to find out the answer. If she did know then I would want to know why she didn't tell me. I'd known her for so long and she hadn't mentioned anything about my heritage or what it meant to be an oni. How ironic that it was Kazama who was teaching me all of this. Amagiri was slow to answer like he was dreading my reaction. 'She did.' He said. My shock showed on my face. 'Then why didn't she tell me?' I pressed, putting down the vegetables I was peeling to face him. I knew Amagiri wouldn't lie to me but I couldn't think of any reason good enough to hide the fact I had a family. He sighed, just as solemn as I was. 'Sen was… a little unsure on how you'd react. You'd only recently discovered you were an oni and that Kodo wasn't your real father. In addition, Kazama-sama was still trying to take you away. She didn't want to place more stress on you than there already was, especially when at that point in time she wouldn't have been able to escort you to the Midori clan to see them. In fact… none of us really know where the Midori clan is situated. About 20 years ago they relocated to the south because the location of their village was compromised by humans but their exact whereabouts is unknown. Please don't be angry at Sen. She was only trying to do what she felt was right.' He said. I couldn't even speak. I was so stunned that she'd known all this time, that everyone had known all this time, that I found no words to say. What would I have done if I had have known they existed? Would I have left the Shinsengumi to find them? I would have been torn between finding my father and searching for my lost family, in addition to the pain of leaving the men I'd come to care for. My mind was a mess.

After a few minutes of silence I managed to speak again. 'And my powers? Did she keep that from me for a reason too?' I asked him hesitantly. Amagiri pursed his lips a little. He seemed to calculate his response just as much as the last one. 'She was waiting for you to say something, as she was unsure if you were ready. After all, it took you many months to come to terms with the fact you weren't human and she didn't know if you would fear the power you had. In addition, learning how to use your abilities is not an overnight thing. It takes many months to master, maybe even longer for you because you were raised as human, and at that time both you and Sen were very busy. Also, the Shinsengumi trusted you but…she feared that they might have had mixed reactions to you learning your oni abilities. She didn't want to create tension between you.' He finished. What he'd said made sense but… if I had have least expressed interest then I might have known more about myself. I could understand the reasoning behind her secrecy but I still couldn't help but feel a little bitter, especially about my family in the Midori clan. I wanted nothing more than to go see them. Would I have cousins and uncles? Aunties and nieces? I couldn't wait to find out and I wondered just who would take me there. Would it be Sen or Kazama? Amagiri had said that no one knew where they were but Kazama had said their villages weren't far from each other. How did he know where they were?

I sighed, trying not to brood over what could have been. 'I can't believe I never knew all this time. If I had have gone to live in the Midori clan with my blood relatives then maybe I would have known a bit more about who I am. I didn't even know I was an oni until Kazama told me.' I murmured. Well, he'd done a little more than tell me. He'd _showed_ me. His blue force field had somehow managed to start to change me into my oni form. I'd never felt such fear as I'd watched my hair turn white. I looked up at Amagiri as a question came to mind. He was already looking at me like he knew I was going to keep questioning him. 'Why is my force field gold and Kazama-san's is blue?' I asked. He smiled a little. 'Each oni has a different colour for their force field.' He said. I didn't feel uncomfortable asking questions of Amagiri like I did Kazama so I didn't hold back. 'What colour is yours?' I asked. He replied instantly. 'Red.'

I mulled over what he'd told me for a while. There was still so much I needed to know but I was determined to make the most of my time with other onis to learn to truth about my race. I narrowed my eyes a little as I thought of a new question, a question that Kazama had refused to answer. 'What does touching an onis horns mean?' I asked. I was surprised when he started laughing. I'd only heard him laugh a few times like that but it surprised me how warm and friendly it sounded. 'Unfortunately Kazama-sama ordered me not to tell you.' He said. I frowned deeply. 'What?' I complained. Amagiri was starting to calm down now. 'I'm sure he will tell you soon.' He reassured me, but I became even more curious. 'Can you give me a clue? Or even tell me if it was bad or good?' I asked. He shrugged, chuckling a little. 'Kazama-sama warned me you'd ask for a clue. He told me to tell you that he'll give the answer when you change into your oni form for the first time.'

I pouted. Well, who knew how long I'd have to wait for that to happen! I wished Sen was here because she would tell me without hesitation. Kazama just liked to see me suffer from my own lack of knowledge. I huffed as I got back to preparing the soup. 'Honestly. He complains about me not knowing anything and yet he refuses to tell me when I ask.' I grumbled, shaking my head. Amagiri appeared amused at my mumbling. 'He takes great pleasure in teasing you.' He chuckled. I snorted, getting started on the potatoes. 'I am well aware of that.' I said. He'd always found it amusing when I got flustered. This was only another one of his games, something to keep him entertained during the dullness of travel. Although this particular journey had been anything less than dull. I'd gotten drunk, almost died 3 times, saved Kazama's life, used my clan power twice and learned I had a family in another clan… and only two months had passed! What other exciting events were lined up for this journey?

I finally finished preparing the vegetables and I stood up. 'Ok. I need some water for the soup.' I said. I would normally use my water flask if I needed water for cooking but there wasn't enough in there. Amagiri nodded, handing me his larger flask. 'Take this to the creek just south of here. It won't take long to walk there. You'll probably see Shiranui on your way because I can sense him in that direction.' He said, pointing through the trees. I nodded. 'Ok. I'll be back soon.' I said, taking his flask off him and my own and heading off in the direction of where he pointed.

I made my way through the dense forest. I watched my footing so I avoided the sticks and bushes because I knew that I would definitely trip over something on the ground if I wasn't careful. I thought back to what Amagiri said about him being ordered by Kazama not to tell me about what it meant to touch another onis horns. It probably wasn't that bad but Kazama had made it seem like a big deal just to stir me up. That wouldn't surprise me in the slightest. I reflected back on that night, when he'd been in his oni form. I was disappointed in myself as I shuddered a little. It was more than just humiliating how he'd affected me. I remembered how captivating it had been watching his pupils dilate so wide and I curiously replayed the memory of his eyes almost rolling back in his head.

In my concentration I stopped looking where I was going and I wasted no time in tripping over an exposed tree root. I landed face first into the dirt and grunted from the impact. Just as I went to pull myself up, I heard someone laughing. 'You really are uncoordinated.' Shiranui remarked and I went red, embarrassed that he'd seen me. I didn't answer him and he came over with an arm filled with firewood. 'Looking for the creek?' He asked. I nodded and he pointed slightly left of where I'd been walking. 'Go that way. You're almost there.' He said. I brushed the dirt of my pants and averted my eyes from his. 'Thanks.' I mumbled. He grinned, eyes twinkling with amusement. He really was like Okita. A blue haired, oni version of Okita. Somehow it was kind of refreshing.

He gave me a casual salute as he started to walk off. 'Don't let lost.' He teased and I watched him retreat into the bushes back to the campsite.

I turned back to the trees in front of me and sighed. I'd picked the worst time to fall over. I'd always been a clumsy person which was definitely the opposite of the three men I was travelling with. No matter where we went they always seemed to know where to go and it occurred to me then that I hadn't seen a single one of them pull out a map yet. Here we were, traversing the whole of Japan and they seemed completely at ease with their lack of directions. I sighed as I realised how unlike that I was.

I continued to walk in the direction he'd pointed to and was relieved when I finally heard the sound of running water. When I broke through the trees, I couldn't help but admire the beauty of the scene before me. The creek was deep enough that a person wouldn't be able to touch the bottom and its depths were a dark, murky blue. The trees were still quite numerous around it so not much sunlight was coming through the canopy but the coolness made the air feel fresher.

I walked out to the creek and followed it down idly, looking into the depths. I wish I had have brought my bathing stuff because it would have been a perfect time to wash. Eventually I came to a part where the water slowed down a little and the edges were surrounded my large smooth rocks, some taller than me. They were in such a peculiar position but I kind of liked how they'd formed there. The water continued to cascade downwards, bending at some point beyond my field of vision.

I walked to the water's edge, opening Amagiri's flask. I put it into the water and watched it fill up. I was so hungry I was practically salivating as I thought about the vegetable soup we'd be eating that night. It had been Sen who had taught me how to make it.

Once I'd filled up the water flask I scrambled onto a medium sized rock. I smiled to myself as I used it to get on top of a taller one, peering down at the water below with intrigue. I stood up on it, being careful not to fall as I jumped from rock to rock along the water's edge. The water flowed beside me as if it was challenging me to a race but it was going much too fast for me to win. I tried my hardest to keep up with a leaf that was floating on the water's surface, cascading down the stream with determination and I was proud as I managed to keep level with it. Thankfully the top of the rocks were dry so my feet had good grip and they were large which meant I was unlikely to lose balance unless my clumsiness kicked in. I clicked my tongue as the leaf started to move past me. I focused on my feet as I hopped as fast as I could between stones, making sure I didn't lose my balance.

However, when I looked back at the leaf to check my progress it had disappeared.

I instantly stopped, putting my hands on my hips. I couldn't hide my disappointment as my game was ruined and I was left staring into the water's depth with confusion.

I sighed. Amagiri was probably wondering why I was taking so long and I didn't want to inconvenience him by getting lost or making him come and find me. I went to turn around to jump off the stone, but my ankle slipped. I squealed and landed on my stomach facing the water, winding myself. I lay there for a while, spluttering in pain. How ironic that I hurt myself _after_ I'd finished jumping recklessly over rocks along the creek. I felt like I'd almost broken a rib too and I groaned as I peeled myself off the stone.

Just as I was getting up, I lifted my gaze to the water and I saw a familiar face looking at me, his pale skin dripping.

The squeal I made this time was louder as I threw myself back in fright, landing on my back on the grass.

Kazama looked at me with a raised eyebrow. 'Looking for something?' He said, twirling around a leaf between his thumb and forefinger. I couldn't even speak to him as I regarded him in surprise. The water trickled from his hair and onto his bare shoulders but everything from there down was submerged in the water. I felt my cheeks explode into colour as I realised he was wearing absolutely no clothing. He sighed as I didn't respond. 'Here I was trying to enjoy a peaceful bath and then all of a sudden I see a loud, inelegant woman frolicking around like a child. You're incredibly noisy.' He sighed. I managed to swallow the saliva that was pooling in my mouth from the sight of his naked flesh. 'I didn't know you were here.' I said quietly, eyes still wide. He moved back a little bit, the water swirling around his shoulders. 'I could tell. So what are you doing here? You haven't come to insult me again, have you?' He said dryly. Despite the trance he'd put me in, I felt the guilt renew stronger than ever. I finally shifted my eyes from him and looked at the grass. When I didn't answer he flicked the leaf back onto the water's surface. We both watched it float downstream and finally disappear.

I swallowed as the silence grew even more awkward.

'You really let me have it, you know.' He deadpanned. I bit my lip as he spoke and tried not to think about how right he was. I really _had_ let him have it. I'd practically torn shreds off him and my language had been less that feminine too. 'I know.' I murmured. I couldn't look him in the eye. He just pursed his lips. 'Did you believe me when I said I only tried to kidnap you because I believed it was the only way? Do you understand now that I don't want you as a breeding slave?' He asked. I kept my eyes lowered from his, unsure what to say. I did believe him. After 4 years of thinking he did it because he was a monster, I finally believed he thought he was doing the right thing.

I swallowed. 'Yes.'

'Yes what?' He urged. I sighed, embarrassed that he was making me say it aloud. 'I can see how you tried to kidnap me because you thought it was the only option. And I know now that if I married you then… I wouldn't be a breeding slave.' I murmured. I never thought those words would ever come out of my mouth. He paused at what I'd said and observed me closely like he was trying to pick up on a lie. He took in a breath. 'And what about our children? Do you still think I'll treat them like tools?' I grit my teeth as I heard his voice tense up when he said that. Obviously that had angered him quite a bit. 'No.' I murmured. He kept his eyes on me, almost criticisingly. 'So you admit I'm not a monster?' He asked. Every word he said managed to increase my guilt. I swallowed the lump in my throat. 'You're not a monster.'

Kazama looked away from me and for a long time none of us said anything. I could sense when he'd spoken that what I'd said had cut him deep. I never thought that the stoic, stern man in front of me could be injured so easily with words but I supposed it was understandable. I shouldn't have said he would be incapable of caring for his children especially when I'd noticed the way he'd looked at Megumi and Naiko, and even me. I'd seen that yearning in his eyes; perhaps, it was the very same yearning that I felt when I thought of having a family. He had put up such a thick, guarded wall around himself that I hadn't been able to see it before.

I was snapped from my momentary daze as he finally spoke again. 'I know that how I acted wasn't very chivalrous, Chizuru. But I am not stonehearted. I am just as capable of caring for another as you are. So I'm promising you now that a marriage with me will not bring you misery or pain, nor will you be mistreated. I don't wish for you to continue to view me as the man you once thought I was.'

The breath caught in my throat when he'd finished speaking. One by one, he was managing to break down all the previous misconceptions I'd had about him. Although I'd thought I knew what he was like, the truth was I knew nothing at all. Here he was in front of me promising that I would be treated well by his side and for the first time I really did believe him. This was far from the man I thought I'd known. I couldn't believe that someone I'd feared so strongly, someone I'd once thought of as cold and unfeeling, was laying out his heart so plainly for me to see. As I stared into his eyes, it felt so intimate that for a second I was swept away from reality. He didn't smirk, or grimace or make any unpleasant, arrogant expressions. It was as if he was letting me glimpse into his soul through his eyes just for a while. They were so much more mesmerising in this raw, vulnerable state.

Who _was_ this man in front of me?

When I remained silent he lowered his eyes, breaking our eye contact. Some part of me was relieved to be released from the intensity of his gaze but another part of me began to crave it. I wanted to see _more_ of that side of him, more of his vulnerability. I wanted him to show me parts of himself that no one had seen before.

Before I knew it, I'd opened my mouth to speak. 'I believe you, Kazama-san.' I murmured. It took everything I had in me not to look away when his eyes raised to stare into mine again. The way they pierced into me made me feel like I was burning alive. I saw something in them that sent ripples of fire under my skin. Something that left me breathless.

He was silent for a really long time before he sighed heavily. 'Look, Chizuru…' He trailed off, his facial expression becoming pained. 'I shouldn't have chastised you so harshly for saving that woman as I understand you did it because you didn't want to see a repeat of what happened to you. And I regret that I got so angry and yelled at you in the way that I did... so I apologise.'

I was stunned as he finished speaking. I'd never imagined that he would apologise to me, especially first. I was impressed with his show of humility especially because I could see just how hard it had been to say sorry. Someone as proud as him didn't admit they were wrong very often and I could see it on the uncomfortable look on his face. He seemed like he wanted to turn over a new leaf, a thought which was so mind-blowing I couldn't speak.

I flinched when he looked up at me again. 'Do you forgive me?' He asked, frowning. I was a little astonished at his question and lowered my eyes. 'Yes.' I murmured. He kept his eyes fixed on me for a moment. 'Good.'

After a moment of silence, I sighed. 'I am sorry too.' I murmured. 'For speaking to you like I did. But I'm not sorry about using my powers on that woman. I don't regret saving that lady's life and I don't entirely think I was wrong in assuming those things about you either because it was how you acted that made me think that way….' I trailed off, feeling more awkward the longer I spoke.

His facial expression didn't even change. He acted like he didn't hear me, but I knew he had. 'So really you're not sorry for anything then?' He said. I bit my lip and turned away from him. I hadn't worded my apology very well. I shifted a little on the stone. 'I was wrong in assuming you would be a bad father and husband. I shouldn't have said those things… and stuff…'

'And stuff?' He questioned, turning to me. I blushed. 'Well… and saying that you would treat me badly if we got married. And that you would think of your children as tools.' I mumbled. He sighed, moving back to the rock closer to me. I flinched as he raised himself up to lean on it, pulling his arms out of the water and propping himself up on the rock's surface. I'd seen shirtless men all the time in the Shinsengumi but seeing Kazama's naked form was for some reason completely different. He was eye wateringly beautiful. His skin was creamy white, paler even than mine. He analysed the course of my eyes over his body before he responded. 'And what about when you said you'd rather kill yourself than sleep with me?' He asked. Normally he would say something like that to tease me but his face showed no signs of mirth. I grit my teeth guiltily as I found it all too easy to imagine the weight of his body on mine. I'd never thought of myself as a lustful person but Kazama was making me doubt my dignity.

When I didn't answer he pursed his lips. 'You won't take that back?' He inquired. I went redder and pouted harder, determined not to give in. He clicked his tongue when I said nothing. 'I know I don't repulse you to that extent because your eyes are practically begging me to taint you right now.' He sighed, running his hands through his wet hair. I wanted to die then and there of humiliation at what he said. I sighed exasperatedly. 'Well, I know for a fact that I do not want you to… to taint…uh…' I cut my sentence short as my throat swelled up. He was making me say such embarrassing things. He rested his chin on his arms, gazing at me as he watched the fight in my eyes. I saw he wasn't going to let me stay silent. 'Do you have no shame, making a woman say something so mortifying?' I grumbled, turning even more away from him so he could only see the side of my face. 'I refuse to say something like that.'

When he gave me a savage glare, I crossed my arms. 'Urgh. Fine. I wouldn't go so far as to _kill_ myself….' I said. He frowned at me like I was an idiot. I bit my lip as he narrowed his eyes at me a little. 'Was that a joke?' He said almost coldly. I glared at him irritably, putting my hand on my hip whilst sitting. 'Well what do you expect, that I'd come right out and admit that I _do_ want to sleep with you?' I retorted sharply.

As soon as the words left my mouth I bit my lip and turned away from him. _Dammit_.

His eyes were blazing now, back to their usual vibrancy. I could hear the rumbling of a chuckle forming in his throat, a pleasant noise that gave me goosebumps. I almost spluttered the words as I spoke them. 'I didn't mean it in that way. I was just accusing you of expecting me to say it as embarrassingly as that. But it's not true.' I asserted, but I could tell by the way he was looking at me that he was ignoring everything that was coming out of my mouth. He just shrugged, a sly grin gracing his face. 'If you want it that badly then I guess I can't deny you of it any longer.'

He reached for me as quick as lighting and tugged me closer to him. I landed on my stomach, our faces just inches apart and I went red. 'Kazama-san!' I squeaked, going to get up but his wet hand slid down my face. 'I forgive you by the way. I couldn't stay mad at my beautiful bride for too long.' He breathed. I blushed at his compliments and froze as a wet thumb slid over my lips. Almost tentatively he pushed the tip of his thumb past my teeth. His eyes were smouldering and I had to force myself to pay attention because the feeling of his finger in my mouth was causing me to see stars.

His lips twitched as he saw the cloudiness in my eyes and he watched me for a long time. 'Do you like that?' His voice was low when he finally spoke. It stirred something carnal within me. He collected the water droplets off his lips with his tongue, slowly, and I watched as he did so. Such beautiful lips… I didn't understand why they filled me with such longing. To think there once was a time the thought of kissing him repulsed me and now… I wasn't so sure.

When he slid his spare hand around the back of my neck, the water from his hands soaked through my collar and broke me from my trance. I squirmed a little on the rock in discomfort and he pulled his finger from my mouth. 'Stop it! You're getting me wet!' I chided, trying to wiggle away from him but I couldn't escape. He made a deep sound in his throat and I got chills as I heard the noise. 'That was quick.' He teased. I gaped at his lewd joke and finally managed to pull myself away from him and sit up. 'Kazama-san!' I chided. I watched him incredulously as he started to chuckle. 'It's addictive seeing your facial expressions when I tease you.' He said, peering up at me with half-lidded eyes and a lazy smile. I turned away entirely from him. I could still feel his finger in my mouth and I was horrified at how it'd made me feel.

I fumed on the grass, flustered beyond all reason. 'Well… I'm going back now. I have to get dinner ready.' I said sharply, getting up to storm back off into the trees. I heard him shift in the water. 'I'll come back with you.' He interrupted, stopping me in my tracks. I spun around to narrow my eyes at him. 'I am perfectly capable of taking myself back, thank you.' I said, but he didn't seem to be fazed by my tone. All traces of his previous brooding had disappeared and he was leaning against the rock with blazing eyes and a crooked smile. 'I'm sure you are, but I don't particularly care. Now unless you want to watch me dress myself I suggest you turn around.' He said playfully. I did what he said, walking over to stand by a tree. I heard him lift himself out of the water and it was strange knowing he was completely naked just metres behind me.

I was still humiliated at what had come out of my mouth before. I hadn't meant that I _wanted_ to sleep with him. I said it as an example of what he expected me to say and he'd deliberately taken it the wrong way but I couldn't deny I was filled relief at how he'd returned back to normal. Even though his normal self was vexing, obnoxious and provocative, it was better than how he'd been before. It seemed like my comment and apology had caused him to do a full personality flip. He was so confusing sometimes.

I felt a hand push the loose strands of hair off my neck that never quite made it into my bun. 'I'm dressed.' He said, dodging my hand as I went to slap his off me. I fixed him with a chastising look as he moved to my side and he only grinned. He had his cape draped over his shoulder and was carrying his boots in his hand. 'Let's go.' He said, going to walk off into the trees. I sighed and followed him wordlessly.

We walked for a long time in a peaceful silence. He no longer had a poisonous aura about him. As embarrassing as what I'd said had been it was worth his forgiveness because I couldn't have gone too much longer with him upset with me. I was too sensitive to be able to feel no remorse about hurting someone's feelings even if Kazama hurt mine all the time and even if he'd kind of deserved it. The worst comments he made were about the deaths of the Shinsengumi because that was what I feared had happened. He could be so cruel sometimes but… kind as well, in his own way.

'I pray it wasn't too unpleasant riding with Amagiri?' He suddenly said. Once I'd recovered from the shock of him speaking I shook my head. 'No… it was fine.' I said softly. Kazama didn't look at me as he spoke. 'Well. Unfortunately even if you did find it pleasant, you will be riding with me again from this moment on. It was getting lonely by myself.' He sighed, his hand resting on the hilt of his katana as he walked.

When I was certain he couldn't see me, I had to smile.

We arrived at the campsite just as the sun was setting. The air was beginning to get chilly and I felt bad as I realised I should have had dinner already cooking. I didn't hesitate to move over to the pot of vegetables by the fire which had now been lit. Kazama went and sat over near it and quickly retreated into the depth of his thoughts as he stared into the flames.

I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I never thought I would have craved his clemency so desperately and I noticed also that Amagiri and Shiranui had relaxed as they must have realised we'd made up. The fight between Kazama and I had caused them discomfort too and I could tell they were relieved they wouldn't have to walk on eggshells around him anymore.

As I prepared to boil the water, I reflected back on his apology. Kazama had surprised me when he'd said sorry because I hadn't been expecting it. There was once I time I would never have thought him capable of such humility… was it possible that he'd also felt guilty for hurting my feelings and arguing with me? I wasn't sure but I appreciated his apology nonetheless.

As my thoughts trailed off, I let myself be absorbed into cooking.

* * *

I pulled the blankets higher up to cover my neck from the slightly chilly night air.

Everyone had gone to bed, tucked under their blankets. The fire was becoming mere coals now but still managed to cast everything in a dull glow. The air was silent, the campsite still and my eyelids were getting heavier by the second.

When I looked at Kazama laying in his futon, he had his back to me. The golden threads of his hair seemed to glitter in the low firelight. I was relieved that we were no longer on edge around each other. I'd never say it to him aloud but I was looking forward to riding with him again. When we'd first started the journey two months ago it had been painful riding together, not only because I wasn't used to horse riding but because I felt so uncomfortable being that close to him. Now it didn't bother me, nor did I feel embarrassed when I had to wrap my arms around him.

I sighed aloud as I reflected on the journey. How long did we have to go? I knew it would be a while and I hoped Hijikata was safe. When I thought about him, I got this horrible aching in my chest. I was worried for him. I was worried for them all.

But I couldn't help but think about what Kazama had said yesterday.

I knew deep down in my heart that they would have killed me that night if I hadn't have told them that Kodo was my father. It made me feel a little sour to think about it but I was certain they all cared for me now. It had been almost 5 years since when I'd first joined them and we'd been through so much together. They may have 'used' me in the past but now I knew they considered me one of them. I wondered if they missed me, too.

I closed my eyes as they finally grew too heavy to keep open.

I thought about what they would do when they saw me. I could just imagine the shock on their faces, their mouths falling open… I knew I would cry. What would Hijikata do when he saw me? I predicted he would gape for a single second then quickly regain his composure, his face adopting his usual stern frown. He would ask me how I got there, who I came with and why I came. Then he would tell me not to leave their camp so I wouldn't get hurt. He'd always protected me and I had always sensed he'd cared even though he hadn't shown it overtly. He seemed severe and hostile but deep down he was such a loyal and caring man. He put up a front to hide who he was, just like Kazama. They were more similar than I think either of them knew or cared to admit.

I let myself relax after I'd finished thinking. I was so ready to sleep.

And when I finally did, I dreamed of Ezo and the men I wanted to see again.

* * *

 **Ending note**

For some reason, my chapters are getting longer and longer haha so I apologise if it takes a million years to read them... at least there's more for you guys to read!

And yay, a bit of fanservice in here with Kazama wearing no clothes! 3


	21. Rose-gold

**Trinity456-** Thank you so much :) I love Kazama's personality and I've tried to put my own spin on it too haha. I hope you like this chapter :3

 **Umi amano** \- Haha yuuuuss sexual tension! Shiranui and Amagiri are only going to get even more frustrated with the two of them from here on out haha. I hope you enjoy this new chapter :)

 **Oshiet** \- Thank you so much for your art! And i'm glad you don't mind longer chapters because this is the longest one yet... 11,000 words and 17 pages on Microsoft word to be precise... but it was SOOO fun to write. I hope you enjoy it, and tell me what you think :3

* * *

 **Rose-gold**

We had stopped a couple of hours ago to settle down for the night after a full day of travel. A few days had passed since Kazama and I apologised to one another and the weather remained pleasant and warm. We had managed to stock up on some more food on our way through a village yesterday so we were no longer relying on the supplies we'd gotten from the burnt down village, which was good because I'd felt a little odd eating food sourced from the site of a massacre. We had already eaten the vegetable stew that I'd cooked for tea, a meal which I'd been most thankful for since I'd been starving to death.

With nothing else to do but rest for the night, everyone was sitting down enjoying the cool night air. Kazama was seated closest to the fire, his half-lidded eyes watching the flames dance with the same pensive look on his face he always adopted when he was thinking. Shiranui and Amagiri were sitting down further away from him, towards the shadows of the trees almost in the darkness. I could see the glint of Amagiri blue eyes, reflecting the light from the fire even across the distance.

I wondered what the Shinsengumi were doing at this moment. I thought back to our days at Headquarters, where normally at this time everyone would be fighting over food or getting ready to head out to the drinking house. Even though I was a relatively quiet person I had thoroughly enjoyed the hustle and bustle of living with them because there was never a dull day. My heart stung a little as I reflected on my times with them. I didn't know what would happen to the Shinsengumi as a group once the war was over but I hoped we could all stay together and resume as much of our normal lives as possible. Even if the war was lost I prayed we'd still be able to live as happily as we had during the past 4 years and I pondered also what Kazama would do after the war. I was pretty sure he'd mentioned that he would go back to his own clan. After all, once his debt to the Satsuma domain had been repaid he no longer had to deal with humans. He always complained about having to stay in the human world but if he hadn't have come here then he would have never have met me and chances are I would still think I was human. How many years could I have lived for before I started to question what I was? If it wasn't for Kazama I might have gone hundreds of years not knowing why I couldn't die. The thought gave me chills.

'Chizuru.'

I was snapped from my musing by Kazama's voice. When I looked up at him he had raised his eyes to peer back at me. 'Yes?' I asked. He didn't appear agitated so I presumed that had been the first time he'd called my name. 'I would like to tell you a little more about our heritage, if it would please you to hear it.' He said. I felt excitement bubble up within me like it always did when I was going to learn more about our race. I nodded. 'Ok.' I said, and he gestured for me to approach him. There was once a time where I would never have gone near him of my own accord. It was true I'd feared him but now he no longer scared me.

I sat down on the grass a short distance away from him. We weren't facing each other but both staring into the flames in a comfortable silence. I knew he'd start speaking when he wanted to so I didn't pressure him, but he didn't make me wait long. 'I'm going to tell you the story of how we originated.' He sighed, starting to pull at the grass. I watched his graceful fingers pluck blade after blade from the soil, twirling it around his fingers before discarding it and selecting a new one.

'It is not known exactly how we came to be, although there are many stories speculating how it occurred, but it is known that the first oni was called Ishi. He had chosen to live far away from other human settlements near the Northern mountains where he remained undisturbed by war or famine. He was completely unaware of his true nature until his 21st birthday when he reached maturation and upon receiving his premonition marking, his powers began to manifest. He began to predict events and had prophetic dreams, and his lesser powers also started to surface. He lived for many hundreds of years after that, mastering his abilities in seclusion and eventually leaving the mountain where he settled in a small human village a few months travel from where he'd originally lived. It was there that he fell in love with a human girl whom he fathered 5 children with, all 5 being pureblood oni. His power was so great that his wife's human blood was completely erased in his children. His offspring went on to breed, also producing pureblood children with their human partners and this cycle continued for many hundreds of years before the power gradually faded from their bloodlines and they were no longer able to produce pureblood heirs with humans. This is when they started mating with other purebloods in order to prevent the further dilution of their power but unfortunately our discrepancies in fertility meant the birth-rate dwindled considerably as did the male-to-female ratio. Thousands of years have passed since then and due to continuations in breeding with humans there are few true purebloods left.'

My head was reeling when he finished speaking. It had been so much information to take in at once and Kazama seemed to notice as well because he waited patiently for me to process what I'd heard before he said anything else. I sat there in silence for many minutes, mulling over the story. I'd never thought about how we'd came into existence.

After a while I took in a breath. 'So because of the power in his blood he was only able to father pureblood offspring with humans, but after years and years the power gradually got weaker as it passed down through his children and their children in turn?' I clarified. Kazama nodded. 'Just like a river that starts from the sea. The further it travels in mainland, the smaller it becomes until it's a creek, then a stream and then a mere puddle. The only way to keep the power from fading entirely is to ensure we don't continue to mix with humans. Nowadays purebloods are quite rare and I fear they will only get rarer still the more we ignore that rule. There may come a time when there are none of us left.' He said. I was silent after that. I realised then why Kazama was so desperate to have a pureblood wife because as a pureblood himself it would only weaken the oni as a race if he procreated with a human. He was protecting his species from extinction. 'So when you say purebloods are rare, how rare is that?' I asked. He finally looked at me then, fixing me with a thoughtful stare. 'The Yukimura and Kazama bloodlines have remained pure throughout history. All the others have had at least one clan leader or relative to the clan leader mate with humans and poison our genepool. The Yume clan for example, has pureblood clan leaders but many of Hanami's aunts and cousins have chosen to marry humans.' He said. He turned back to the fire and released me from his gaze, although it hadn't been unpleasant.

'Hmm.' I said, thinking deeply about what he'd told me. If all the purebloods were lost, then we would have no choice but to mate with humans which would lead to the gradual dilution of oni genes. Even though I hadn't known who I was for very long I got an uncomfortable feeling in my chest when I thought of our potential extinction. If we continued to breed with humans then we would die out as a species. It kind of horrified me that we seemed already so close to that by what Kazama had told me. Technically my clan didn't exist anymore which left only Kazama's clan as the last true pureblood clan. I didn't hesitate in asking the next question that came into my head. 'So how did the clans originate then?' I asked curiously. Kazama had obviously known the question would arise at some point because he didn't even need to ponder his answer. 'All pureblood oni's born from Ishi and his descendants had one of 9 main powers. Ishi was the first Yume clan leader and his first born son also possessed foresight, but his second son and three daughters were the first ancestors of the Shinobi, Kazama, Midori and Hoshi clans. They in turn gave birth to the first ancestors of the Nagumo, Yukimura, Shiranui and Amagiri clans. Once they realised that only children with these 9 main powers were born, that's when they naturally started to form groups based on them.' He said, leaving me once more to process what I'd heard. 'So if the Yume clan was the first clan to exist, why isn't it the royal clan?' I questioned. This brought a smile to Kazama's lips. 'Hmph. Hundreds of years ago, that wench's clan decided it wasn't happy with how things were being run so they declared war on the Yume clan. They ended up winning because of their ability to control the minds of others, so they took over as royalty and things haven't changed since.'

So there _was_ war between onis. I bit my tongue as I felt the need to bring up the fact that onis also had fought because of the need for power, just like humans did. All the times he'd chastised the humans for their pettiness and greed and then I find out in the past we'd done exactly the same!

I threw a bit of grass in the fire and watched curiously as it burned. 'You mentioned he received a premonition marking. What's that?' I asked finally, after a few minutes of silence. Kazama watched the grass burn too with a stoic glare. 'It's a sort of tattoo we receive upon our skin when we become of age, a phenomenon passed down from Ishi as a reminder of our origin from the Yume clan. The image we get is a representation of our future. Many oni go their whole lives with their marking and not know what it means but Yume clan leaders and other highly trained oni from that clan have the ability to uncover their meaning.' He said. I frowned at him. 'So why don't I have one?' I asked. Kazama surprised me by smirking. 'You have not get come of age.' He said simply. I pouted a little. 'What do you mean? I'm almost 21.' I said defensively. The way I saw Kazama's eyes shimmer let me know he was entertained by my lack of knowledge. 'For onis this occurs later than for humans at around 19-25 years. In essence, we have two periods of maturation. The first occurs like that of humans where we change from a child into an adult. The second is characterised by many further changes to our bodies, behaviour and hormones and ends when we get our premonition marking. In other words, you'll become so overrun with desire that my very presence will make you get on your knees and beg me for release.' He said smugly. I gaped at his words. 'Kazama-san!' I scolded, going red as I turned away from his fiery eyes. He seemed proud that he'd gotten such a reaction from me. 'You'll say my name much louder than that when the time comes.'

I covered my cheeks with my hands as they threatened to burst into flame. He always took me by surprise when he said things like that. It was even more irritating when they seemed to come out of the blue because I hadn't had time to prepare myself. He only chuckled, turning his eyes back to the fire. 'I can't deny I find your modesty intriguing.' He sighed as he reached over and grabbed a log of firewood. I didn't speak as he threw it on the fire, golden sparks raising up into the air and disappearing into the darkness.

He let me sit in silence until I'd recovered from my embarrassment. I wish I had Sen with me so I could ask her about this. I didn't know if Kazama was exaggerating or, God forbid, he was telling the truth. There would be no way a sane me would ever beg him for something like that. I quivered as his words chorused through my head, over and over again. I didn't want to think of such a topic especially after seeing him without clothes on a few days ago. That hadn't been good for my composure at all. I slowly regained my ability to speak. 'Have you got your premonition marking?' I asked meekly. He seemed maybe a little relieved that I'd started talking again, not because he feared he'd scared me off but because he appeared to be in a chatty mood. 'Yes, I have.' He said. I watched him for a little longer, waiting for him to elaborate but it became evident he wasn't going to. 'Is it like, a secret or something? Is it taboo to ask about another oni's marking?' I inquired. He smirked. 'No, it's not. Are you asking because you want to see mine?'

The truth was that I did but I couldn't tell him that without feeding his ego so I stayed silent instead. When I said nothing he chuckled. 'If you would like to see it then just say so.' He encouraged, but I only pouted harder. 'Well… you can just tell me what it is, if you want. You don't have to show me.' I murmured. He appeared amused at my avoidance of seeing his bare skin again. 'I won't tell you about it because it's better to show it to you.' He said. It was so difficult to get anything from him when he was this way. 'No, it's ok.' I grumbled. He looked like he'd been expecting that answer anyway so he didn't say anything.

I peeked at him out of the corner of my eye. I could tell he was in a pleasant mood and I couldn't deny that I liked it when he was talkative. Shiranui and Amagiri were now fully absorbed in their repose and I pondered if Shiranui was sleeping. His breathing was deep and steady, much like someone who was asleep. I analysed the tattoo on his arm. Was that his premonition marking?

I turned away from everyone to look into the fire. I was curious to find out what mine was and when I would get it. Kazama had said I would 'come of age' before I was 25 which was only 4 years away. If I had have been with Sen, I would have gotten her to show me hers. I'd never seen a tattoo on her skin but then again I'd never seen her unclothed, unlike I had Kazama. His marking definitely wasn't on his shoulders or his arms, or his pectorals. I wondered what it was and if he'd gotten it analysed by Hanami or Yume clan member yet.

Lost in thought, I wasn't aware Kazama had turned to stare at me. It took me longer than usual to notice the burning trail his eyes left on my skin and I looked at him awkwardly when I finally did. 'What?' I mumbled. He only turned back to the fire, sighing. 'If you feel you're up to it, you may try to change into your oni form again. I will watch you.' He said. My skin got goosebumps. I felt the familiar swell of excitement inside of me when I thought about using my powers but now also a bit of fear. I was scared that I would lose control again but felt reassured that Kazama would make sure he supervised me this time. However, I was still a little unnerved about transforming in front of him. I had a feeling I would still have difficulty concentrating with him around.

He saw the hesitation in my eyes and smirked. 'You may sit wherever you want as long as you remain within my field of vision. I'm aware you find it hard to concentrate in my presence so you may sit over there, if you wish, where you can meditate in peace.' He said, his lips twitching upwards into a faint smile at his last sentence. I cringed inwardly at his words and looked at where he was pointing to, at the edge of the clearing.

I looked down at my lap, feeling uneasy with the thought of transforming. 'Don't worry. You won't lose control again.' He said. When I looked at him, he was staring back so resolvedly that I was forced to believe him. 'Ok. I'll try.' I said, getting up off the grass. Before I could get up he caught my attention again. 'Remember. Only a single spark is needed to transform. It might take some effort to summon it but don't back down until it's under your control.' He said. I bit my lip. 'Ok.' I responded, moving hesitantly away from the fire and over to the outskirts. I took my bag and futon with me and I slipped my cape back on over my shoulders, flipping up my hood because I was outside the range of the fire's warmth. The night air nipped at my skin.

I rolled out my futon, my heart pounding in my chest. What if I succeeded? Was I ready to see myself in my oni form? It still seemed so surreal that my true form wasn't human. Even though I'd seen my hair change to white before it still hadn't registered in my brain that the normal, human looking Chizuru wasn't the real me.

I sat down on the futon with my back to the others. I was submerged fully in the shadows, probably barely visible to a human because of my dark cape but I knew Kazama could see me perfectly. I sat there with a strange feeling in my stomach as I prepared myself, finally feeling his eyes retreat to focus on something else. I was nervous but I let out a deep breath and shut my eyes.

The first thing I tried to do was simply to calm myself. I drew in a breath, then let it out. I repeated this over and over again until I felt my heartbeat start to slow down. I attempted to calm my nerves and the slight trembling of my limbs, letting my mind let go of all the fear and worry that had been festering in my head just moments ago. It was a very slow process to withdraw into myself and to be able to find the power I knew I possessed, even slower than the first time I'd tried. I didn't want to lose control and I didn't want Kazama getting angry with me but I trusted that he would stir me the second he knew something was wrong. I could sense his alertness which let me know he was there to intervene if needed. That reassured me more than I ever thought it would.

I relaxed my shoulders, trying to be as still as possible. Eventually the sounds around me faded; the crackling of the fire, the insects in the bushes and the soft cooing of roosting birds. As I retreated into the darkness of my own mind I heard nothing but the echoing drones of my power, but exactly like last time, they didn't want to be roused from their slumber.

Whenever I tried to pry around to find them they shied away from me entirely, fighting to stay hidden. I could see their faint glows from their hiding places and I called to them with my consciousness, begging them to reveal themselves so I could use them to fulfil their purpose. I dove deeper and deeper into myself until I no longer felt any connection to the outside world nor any awareness of what was going on around me. I couldn't even feel myself breathing anymore. They struggled against my command, thrashing in defiance to my order but Kazama's words chanted in my head.

 _Don't stop until it's under your control._

So I didn't stop. I keep calling until I uncovered them one by one. Golden tendrils of power, buzzing louder and louder the more of them I exposed, writhing like a massive nest of yellow snakes. I tried to grab one but it recoiled from me like I was dangerous. But I keep trying. I tried to snatch at them but they avoided me and I knew I was getting frustrated.

 _Come to me,_ I implored. _Please_.

One froze momentarily as it heard my call and without hesitation I clamped down on it. I dragged it up as quickly as I could but in my desperation I lost focus and it escaped from me effortlessly. It took a few more seconds after that for me to slip back into peace and I tried again. This time when I selected one, I made sure I took my time. It was thrashing in my mind's grip so viciously that I was impressed that I hadn't lost it yet. The harder it fought, the harder I grasped it and I pulled it right out of the darkness after several slow, agonising moments.

When my blood started to run hot in my veins, that's when I panicked. I stopped hauling it up to regain my composure as I realised whatever I was doing was working. If I had have been more aware of myself I would have realised I was breathing quickly, although not gasping for air that I'd done last time. I was concentrating so hard on not letting the tendril go because I knew if I lost it I would have to do the whole thing all over again.

Just like I did last time, I pressed it softly to the underside of my flesh. It seemed to bind to my cells like glue and I pushed it into my veins, circulating the power through my body in my blood. Each patch of skin it ran through tingled and sizzled. I resisted the urge to tear myself from meditation as I felt my skin vibrating, the sensation passing from one cell to the other like a disease. My skin was changing and I could feel it but I didn't want to stop no matter how odd it felt. I gasped as I felt a sharp pain in my fingers, a tingling in my scalp and a prickling in my ears. As weird as it was, it also felt… good. I felt my body strengthen and my senses sharpen and now that my power had been utilised properly I was slowly coming back to reality. I began to hear the breathing of the men behind me, the fluttering heartbeats of the roosting birds above my head. I could smell a thousands scents in the air, one of those being Kazama. I could not only smell the scent of his clothes but of his skin and hair. The same went for the other two.

As I pulled my focus from inside my mind and back into the real world, I knew for certain that I had done it.

Finally, I opened my groggy eyes.

What I saw took my breath away. I scrambled to my knees in surprise as I saw I could see everything in excruciating detail. The greens and browns of nature were vibrant and shimmering and I could see colours I'd never knew existed. It appeared as though it was only just past twilight due to my improved vision, but the silver needles of moonlight which were now _visible_ to me let me know it was late at night. I trailed my eyes down the trunk of a tree in front of me, remarking how I could see every groove with ease, every ant marching up and down its length. I could see their tiny legs working to keep themselves attached to the wood and as I shifted my attention to the soil, admiring how I could see hundreds more shades of brown, I finally came to my hands resting in my lap. For a second what I saw prevented me from recognising them as my own. My nails had morphed into claws, longer and thinner than Kazama's but also daintier. I reached up to touch my face with them, noticing how my skin was warm and smooth and that I could no longer feel the dryness of my complexion. My heart pounded in my chest as I ran my fingers over my cheekbones and to my ears and caressed their pointed tips with a mix of curiosity and awe.

My body didn't feel like my own, and yet… it felt like this was how I'd always been.

When I dropped my hands to prepare to sit there and process the changes, my nail caught on a strand of hair and pulled it out from the shadows of my hood. It glowed silver and was so soft I could barely feel it against my fingers, like thin ribbons of moonlight. I swear I could see the vaguest tinge of pink to it but I wasn't sure.

I felt like I was in a dream. This had to be a dream.

Slowly, I reached for my bag and my trembling hand slipped in to grab the handle of my mirror. I was petrified as I raised it to my face and I held it with two hands because I was shaking so much. I gasped as I saw a startled, white haired girl staring back at me.

My eyes were the first things I'd noticed… they were _exquisite_. My irises were huge with two tiny black pupils at their centre and their colour was a glittery rose-gold, flecks of pink and silver scattered throughout the golden base. They were so beautiful that for a second I just sat there, unable to feel anything but empty shock. The glow they cast dyed my long, white eyelashes a rosy pink and the longer I stared at them, the smaller my pupils got until they almost disappeared. They were perhaps even more mesmerising than Kazama's eyes.

My attention shifted to my lips which were parted in astonishment. They were no longer flesh coloured but a pale mauve, matching the natural blush on my cheeks and the rosey hue in my eyes. When I opened my mouth a little more I saw tiny fangs had replaced four of my normal teeth; two on the bottom and two on the top. They were so sharp I had no doubt they could even pierce metal.

Then finally, I laid eyes upon my horns. They were peeking out from behind my fringe, all four ivory coloured and petite. They were much smaller than Kazama's but they were there nonetheless. I reached up to touch them and noticed they were just as smooth as Kazama's had been.

After I'd finished my inspection, I let the mirror fall onto my futon.

I had done it. I had actually done it.

I was numb from head to toe in shock at both my success and my appearance. Now that I had seen myself in this form, it only solidified the fact I was not human. This was even more ground-breaking to me than the use of my clan power. I couldn't say myself if I was as beautiful as Kazama but I admitted I had that same glow to my skin as he had. If I had have been alone I would have picked up the mirror again and tentatively resumed inspecting myself until I at least didn't feel so dazed. I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience.

'Chizuru…'

I didn't react to his voice when I heard it. I was still off in dreamland, trying to quell my own disbelief which was causing my limbs to shake. I heard him raise up off the grass, slowly, but he didn't approach me. I could hear their stunned breathing from behind me and all 3 pairs of eyes glaring in my direction. They could see none of me yet, not even my hair as it was hidden by my hood but they could feel me. Even _I_ could feel me. I could almost see my own power, filling every spare pocket of air within a few hundred metres. But the most surprising thing was that I could feel them too. I could sense their presence like a heat on my back and a chill down my spine that told me exactly where they were and how far away from me. Kazama's presence alone was so overpowering I almost passed out. I could probably still sense him from a mile away.

'Chizuru.' He said again.

I blinked a few times in reaction to his voice, finally shifting on my futon. I didn't know if I should speak, or what to even say. I already knew that my mouth would have been incapable of talking anyway. I couldn't even think properly yet so words were out of the question.

'Look at me.'

At his request I finally felt the blood return to my skin, fighting away the numbness of shock. I didn't want to look at him. I hadn't had time to process my own appearance yet and I didn't want anyone to see me until I had. Even though I had known I would get claws, horns and sharp teeth I still felt odd about showing them to others. They didn't look ugly, perse, but to me who had lived as a human for most of my life they looked… peculiar.

I panicked as I felt him approach me and I tore my hood further down over my face. 'No!' I cried. My voice sounded slightly different, clean and clear like a bell.

He stopped in his tracks. I could hear his heart beating behind his ribs and the soothing rush of air in and out of his lungs but I was much too frantic to focus on how incredible my new senses were. In that moment I would have died for him to have left me alone so I could work on coming to terms with my new appearance on my own. I didn't want him to see me like this, at least not while I was so stunned.

I pulled my cape tighter around my body. 'Please… not yet…' I begged softly. He didn't come closer but he didn't retreat either. 'Why?' He asked. His voice sounded unlike I'd ever heard it. Gentle and mystified. I was unable to answer him and I resumed covering myself as tightly with my cape as I could. For a second the only sound was of us breathing and it stayed like that for what felt like forever.

Kazama was fighting a real battle within himself between whether he respected my wishes or if he tore the cape off me and I didn't want to lower my guard lest he give in to the latter. The thought of him seeing me like this made me feel slightly uncomfortable.

Would he think I was… pretty?

I screwed my eyes shut, prepared to sit there wrapped up in my cape for a whole eternity if need be, until I heard Kazama draw in a slow breath. 'I want to see your face.' He said slowly. I felt the dread rise up in me and I swallowed. 'Not yet… I…' I whimpered, unable to finish. Kazama recovered much quicker from his shock this time. 'I know you must think you look strange but I want to see you. Just once.' He said softly. His voice kind of sounded like a plea, just a little. I'd never, ever heard him beg before but it showed exactly how much he wanted me to turn around.

When I didn't answer again he took a step towards me and I cowered away from his presence. He drew closer and closer until I felt him kneel behind me. 'Please.' He coaxed. My heart pounded. The word sounded so delectable coming from his mouth but it still wasn't enough to force me into capitulation. When his hand rested on my shoulder, I shook it off. 'No.' I gasped. I felt him shift on my futon behind me and he drew in a breath. 'If you show me I'll tell you my clan power.' He said slowly, trying his best to persuade me into surrendering. I paused. I really did want to know that and I would probably regret refusing his offer in the future but in that moment I might have refused all of his deals. 'No.' I said weakly. He sighed. 'Then what do you want?'

'I want nothing. I just need… some time.' I begged, my voice muffled from the cape pressed so firmly over my face. I froze once more as his hand skimmed over my shoulder blades. 'Whether you say yes or no, I'm still going to see before the end of the night so it would be wise of you to take something from me while you can.' He said. It was almost a threat.

I quickly moved to lay down on my futon and scrambled under the blankets so he could see nothing but the bulge of my body. I buried my face into the pillow. My heart was pounding in my chest as I waited for his reaction but he only stared down at me. 'I'll give you one more chance to propose a deal before I pull all the blankets off you and make you look at me. I've waited almost 5 years to see you in this form and as quaint as it is seeing you so self-conscious, I won't let that stop me from seeing the extent of my bride's beauty.' He said bluntly.

I only pulled the blankets tighter over me and he took that as my final answer.

Without warning, I felt him straddle me, weighing me down so I couldn't thrash. 'Kazama-san!' I cried as he grabbed a fistful of blanket and tried to pry it from my grip. He was much too strong for me to resist but I still fought desperately to keep myself hidden. He yanked the layers of blanket back until he was looking down at me on my stomach with my cape still covering my body. I was desperate for him not to see my face but I also knew deep down I could never hide it from him, not when he was this desperate. As he pinned me down and unclipped the cape from my neck I realised just how easily he could have subdued me all those years ago. If he'd been as determined back then as he was now, he could have done so very easily.

I screeched and kicked my legs as he hauled the cape off my body, the white strands of my hair becoming freed from the shelter of the hood. He paused his movement to stare and I felt him run some through his fingers. 'Just like silk.' He crooned, letting it fall from his grip. Before I could even process what he said, he flipped me over onto my back. My hands instantly raised to cover my face before he could see. 'Don't look at me!' I cried. I felt a warm hand trail down the part of my cheek that was exposed. 'Don't hide your face from me, Chizuru.' He sighed. The touch of his bare skin on mine and the allure of his words were twice as potent in this form and I bit my lip as I started to quiver underneath him. He slid his hands over my own and tried to pry my fingers off my face as I protested desperately. I whimpered as I felt him succeeding. 'Please. Don't!' I gasped, but as soon as those words left my mouth he pulled my hands from my skin.

For a really, really long time we just stared at each other in complete silence.

With my new vision I noticed a thousand things about him that I'd never seen before, such as the brown tint to his eyelashes and the tiny drops of moisture on his lips. His hair picked up the light from the fire even from so far away and it was appeared to sparkle, as did his beautiful, ruby eyes. I could see their very fibres knitted together and the hundreds of other shades of red I'd never been able to see. The thing that struck me the most, however, was that he was _glowing_. The light was coming out from under his skin like there was a fire inside of him and for a second I forgot all about the fact I was in my oni form.

He was breathtaking.

When he finally looked like he wanted to speak, he couldn't. I felt the heat rise in my cheeks as I watched him open and close his mouth a little, struggling to articulate himself and the fact he couldn't find any words to say made it a rarer sight still. He realised after a few seconds that he couldn't talk so he just shut his mouth and gave up. He appeared to be spellbound.

Finally, I averted my eyes from his as his gaze became too intense. 'Uh…'

'No!' He said. I jumped in surprise at the suddenness of his voice and looked back up at him. He blinked a few times at me. 'Don't look away from me.' Despite his plea, I just couldn't bear to stare into his eyes anymore so I turned my head away. 'Kazama-san…' I mumbled. His fingers came down to capture my chin and he turned my head back to face his. His eyes were swirling, even more beautiful with my new vision. 'Not once in my 79 years of life have I seen such beauty.' He breathed. If he hadn't have said it with a voice laced with so much passion I would have gaped at his admission of his real age but I just couldn't concentrate on anything besides his fingers on my skin.

He ran his thumb over my lips and my eyes widened as he slipped it into my mouth like he'd done a few days ago but this time it was to feel my fangs. They were so incredibly sensitive and his heat seeped straight into them, shooting up into my skull. I fought with all I had not to give in to the multitude of new sensations his touch brought me but I couldn't help but whimper. I heard him swallow. 'Such beautiful, large eyes… and so emotive. I like how your pupils tell me exactly how you feel.' He said softly, continuing to stroke my fangs. It was leaving me more and more breathless the longer he touched them. His heat travelled up into my head and coursed throughout my body like it was being fed into my blood. He pulled his thumb from my mouth suddenly and glazed it back down my chin, leaving a trail of moisture down my face. I felt like I was going to explode if I kept on looking at him. Everything about him was driving me wild in this form; his scent, his words, his touch… I was going insane. And evidently, so was he.

When I turned my head to avoid his eyes, I saw Amagiri and Shiranui still sitting by the fire watching us. They both looked stunned and I went even redder as I realised they'd seen Kazama put his fingers in my mouth. I would have given anything just to disappear then and there knowing that they'd seen such a sight and it was made worse by the fact that I'd whimpered while he was doing it too. Not to mention he was saying such embarrassing things in front of them.

Suddenly he slowly got off me, never taking his eyes off my face. I gasped as he took my hands into his own and pulled me up off the futon into a standing position. I felt my cheeks becoming heated the more I sensed his awe and I looked away from him frantically as he brought my hand up to his lips and kissed it. 'You are more than worthy of being my queen.' He said almost breathlessly. When I peered up at him meekly, I saw a surge of delirious fervour cross his face as our eyes met. I gasped again as he fell to one knee in front of me, tugging me closer and pressing his lips to my hand again. 'This is the type of beauty that starts _wars_ , Chizuru. You are truly the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes upon.' He purred, looking me up and down. His eyes were half-lidded, almost drunk. I could see my reflection in the black of his pupils. My lips were parted, showing my small fangs, and my large rose-gold eyes were beholding the man in front of me with both shock and embarrassment.

As I saw the expression on my face, I pulled myself away from his grasp. I turned around to face away from him as my cheeks sizzled. 'Kazama-san…' I stammered, humiliated. He had definitely complemented me on my appearance in the past but never statements as gracious as those ones. I'd never felt so much attention on me before and I felt like my skin was on fire. When I pressed my hands to my cheeks to cool them down I could feel my long, sharp nails resting on them, cool to the touch.

Before I could think too much about how they felt, two hands slid into my hair and tilted my face up. My heart was beating so hard in my chest from the way he was gazing at me. 'In this form, I have no doubt I would give you the stars in the sky if you so desired them. You are flawless, Chizuru. Even more beautiful than I thought you would be, and you have always been beautiful. This form is truly befitting of you.' He breathed, trailing his fingertips down my cheek. Before he slid his fingers back into my mouth to caress my fangs again, I pushed his hands away urgently. 'Kazama-san… really. Saying things like that… it's not necessary.' I whimpered. I was gobsmacked at his compliments; never did I think such lavish words would leave his mouth. He didn't seem to be listening to me, however. His eyes were sailing over my skin; from my hair, to my eyes, to my pointed ears. I lowered my face as I felt him looking at my mouth and the tiny fangs he could see through my parted lips. He still had his hands in my hair, holding my head still softly.

I gave up and let him analyse me but I couldn't look him in the eye. I fixed my gaze instead on his vest. I could almost see the threads sewn together to make the fabric he was wearing. I could see the lines of muscle behind his shirt, smell the scent of his skin. It was such a pleasing odour, exotic and spicy. My heightened senses made it a million times harder to resist him, especially when I noticed so much more about him. He filled the space around me with his scent, the feeling of his warmth. I could feel his presence pulsing all around me.

I quivered as his fingertips ghosted over the tips of my ears, sending a bolt of pleasure through my body. I blushed darker, putting my hands up to cover them as they tingled. 'Kazama-san…' I murmured, peeking him up at him tamely. His eyes flushed with potent desire and he bit his lip like he was trying not to lose control. 'It would be dangerous if you looked at me that coyly all the time, Chizuru. That docile expression drives me wild.' He half groaned. The sound of his voice like that made my skin prickle and I squeaked as he stepped into me, pulling me against him. I pressed my hands to his chest to half-heartedly attempt to push him away but he wouldn't budge.

When he tilted my chin up to look at him I gasped as I saw how close his face was to mine. He drew in a slow breath as our eyes met once more. 'I wish to speak with you alone, Chizuru.' He said. I blinked at him in shock, his words not registering in my head. 'What?' I gasped. He sighed, turning to the side to narrow his eyes at the men with us. 'Leave us.' He ordered. Amagiri looked at me once Kazama had given his command but I wasn't sure what look to send him. I could either pick a 'save me' look or an 'its ok' look. Kazama sighed at my apprehension. 'I won't hurt you, if that's what you're scared of. I only wish to talk.'

I knew if he'd promised then he wouldn't hurt me, not even after how he'd reacted to my oni form. Well, I wasn't scared he'd _hurt_ me. I was moreso unprepared for the awkwardness of being alone with him when he appeared to be so mesmerised with me. But I did trust him and I was curious to know what he wanted to speak about even though the uncertainty made my heart thud in my chest.

I turned back to Amagiri, drawing in a breath. 'It's ok.' I murmured to him. When he heard me say the words, he nodded. 'Very well.' Despite how I'd given him permission to leave, I still felt nervous as I watched him do so. Shiranui followed suite directly after and soon enough it was only Kazama and I.

When I turned back to him he was finally beginning to find his composure. 'So you _do_ trust me. Even after all the things I just said you would willingly be in my company alone?' He chuckled. I frowned at him. 'If you do anything bad to me and Osen-chan finds out then that's your head on the chopping block not mine.' I said, pulling myself from his grip. He only chuckled, never taking his eyes off me even though I tried again to hide my face from him self-consciously. 'I know. But I won't hurt you, I promise.'

A few moments of silence passed between us before I brought up the courage to speak. 'So… what did you want to talk about?'

I was surprised when he started to move back to the fire. 'Bring your stuff back in closer. There's no need for you to hide in the shadows anymore.' He said, not answering my question. I had butterflies in my stomach but I did what he said and dragged my dishevelled futon back over to the fire. It still had tiny blood drops on it from when my shoulder had been pierced by the arrow. I sat back down on it and he sat close to me. He looked at me pensively, then trailed his eyes down my body and back up again. 'I said I would give you a clue about what it means to touch an onis horns when you transformed so that's what I'm going to do.'

I felt a little bit of relief as I realised it wasn't something mortifying he wanted to speak about. 'Oh, ok. Why didn't you just let the guys stay here then?' I asked. I watched a grin spread across his face and he started to chuckle. 'Well, I didn't think you'd want them to see your reaction.' He purred, obviously amused at my naivety. I tried to think of all the possible reactions I could have to whatever he was going to tell me. I had already figured it was something embarrassing so I had somewhat prepared for such an answer but I doubted it was necessary to send the others away. 'Is it really that bad?' I asked. He only shrugged, sliding his eyes all over my face. 'Well… it depends on how you look at it. But I'm not going to tell you, I'm going to _show_ you.'

I went red as he moved onto my futon with me. 'Uh… you can just tell me.' I murmured, but he brushed aside my comment with a smirk. 'You did it to me so I figured I'd return the favour.' He ordered as he sat cross legged in front of me. I was still a little sceptical but I sighed. 'Fine.' I muttered, turning to face him as well.

Once he'd assured he'd gotten permission, he reached up to skim his fingertips across my cheekbones, tracing the pinkness that my blush had left. I tried to keep my heart beat steady as they slid further up to run over my long eyelashes, feeling the soft skin of my eyelids and eventually moving past my eyebrows. The touch of my skin seemed to be drugging him but I let him continue despite the growing hunger in his eyes. 'Such perfect beauty.' He sighed, almost to himself. I went red and turned my eyes away from him. It seemed he was just using this as an excuse to touch me but… I couldn't deny that I enjoyed how his warm skin felt on mine. In this form, his fingertips seemed to send sparks of electricity through my body. I could only imagine how much more intense it would be if he was in his oni form too.

When the pads of his thumbs touched near the base of my horns I felt the most peculiar feeling shoot down my spine. I gasped as I felt my muscles turn to jelly and when I looked up Kazama's eyes were alight with flame. 'Keep looking at me.' He said, the resonance of his voice making my insides churn. He continued to dance around my horns, not yet touching them and I was getting more and more confused about why it felt like he was teasing me. When he saw the irritation on my face he smirked again. 'It seems your body knows what I'm doing even if you don't.' He said. I pouted, but for some reason I couldn't speak. My throat swelled up as soon as I tried to and Kazama's lip twitched upwards as he noticed. His fingertips got closer to the base of my horns but just before he touched them he went back to doing large circles again. The deprivation was beyond irritating and I regarded him hotly. 'Kazama-san!' I scolded. I instantly regretted it because the grin he gave me was painfully haughty. His eyes flashed. 'Well aren't you getting all flustered by my denial?' He purred. Just as I opened my mouth to scold him again, his fingers closed in and pressed down firmly at the base. I grit my teeth as my legs started to tremble and my eyes flickered back into my head for a split second. What on earth was he doing to me? I felt like I was on the way to losing my mind.

I heard him draw in a breath, a sound which turned my brain to mush immediately. 'I have no doubt that if I kept on doing this that you would end up begging me but I'll save the sweetness of your pleading for after we are wed.' He sighed. I didn't even have it in me to blush anymore. All my efforts were being used to keep my sanity. I grit my teeth harder as he got closer and closer to touching my horns. 'What… are you doing?' I asked. He didn't answer me but the crazy look in his eyes told me he was thoroughly enjoying it.

Then without warning, I felt him take my horns into his fingertips.

I couldn't help but fall forward as the bliss hit me like a landslide. My eyes rolled promptly back into my head as my vision was replaced by a blinding white light. I was overcome by the strangest feeling, like my mind just opened up and encapsulated him. It feel like his heart was beating in my chest instead of his, that my lungs were breathing in the air he was. It was such an unusual sensation but somewhat… passionate. Kazama caught me against his chest as I lost all control over my muscles but he didn't take his fingers off my horns even as I began to shudder against him. He continued to work them between his fingers, slowly and expertly, like he was savouring my reaction. My whole body felt like it was ablaze with such a powerful feeling of ecstasy I could feel it in my soul, reaching its fingers deep into my being and seizing my very essence. I felt the first moan slip from my mouth as he slid his fingers to the very tips of my horns and the unexpectedness of the sound made my eyes roll open again. The world was a blur but I could see my cheek pressed against his chest, my hands trembling as they clung to his shirt as if to anchor me to earth.

My lips trembled as he tilted my face up to his. Through my fuzzy vision I could only make out his molten ones and he watched my face as his fingers continued to touch me. 'Now _this_ is my new favourite expression.' He breathed, the huskiness of his voice making me shrivel against his body and clutch his clothing tighter. He chuckled at my reaction and lifted my head up to his again, staring deep into my cloudy eyes. He just watched me as I swooned under his touch and my mind was utterly incapable of focusing on anything other than the waves of euphoria that washed over me with every stroke of his fingers on my horns. Despite how incredible it felt it wasn't a sexual kind of pleasure… something much, much deeper. Fervidly swirling within my soul, it was a rich intimacy that set my heart on fire. I could feel the waves of his emotion washing through me, giving me an insight into how this interaction made him feel. He was satisfied at my reaction, in awe of me almost. As he looked upon my face I could sense just how beautiful he thought I was.

When I moaned for the second time, it seemed he'd managed to satisfy himself.

He let my horns go and I gasped in breath as my vision returned to normal. The open feeling of my mind quickly retreated and I could no longer sense his presence within my head, which for some reason left me feeling slightly unfulfilled. When I snapped my eyes back to him after I'd recovered enough to speak I saw him biting his bottom lip like he was trying not to laugh. He used his finger to wipe off the trail of drool that had spilled from my lips at some stage.

'Well.' Was all he said.

I tore myself from him animatedly, scrambling to my feet. 'What the hell was that!?' I exploded, putting my hands on my hips. I was so embarrassed at my behaviour that it had instantly converted to rage but he didn't seem the least bit affected by my outburst. He smirked, still not removing himself from my futon. 'Don't get angry with me, Chizuru.' He sighed. It took all I had not to slap him across his smug face. I was so livid with him that I could already feel the power boiling in my blood. 'What do you mean, don't get angry? Did you know I would do that?' I shrieked and he chuckled once he'd dried my drool off his fingers. 'I didn't know you would be that sensitive. But I knew it would be pleasurable for you. After all, it is a form of foreplay.'

' _Foreplay_?' I screeched. 'That was foreplay?'

Before I knew it he was standing in front of me and I took a step back in surprise. I hissed as he pulled me against him. 'I admit it was a little deceitful of me, but it's not the kind of foreplay you're thinking of.' He assured me, brushing a strand of hair from my face. I tried to batt him away from me but he only held me tighter. I clenched my fists. 'What other kind of foreplay is there? I can't believe you would do something like that to me! I'm telling Osen-chan about this and I'm going to make _sure_ you get punished!' I chided. He frowned at me then, but didn't look mad. 'Trust me, its punishment enough that she exists. I don't like it when you yell at me so can you calm down enough to let me explain?' He asked. He raised an eyebrow and I turned my face from him. The pleasantness of being pressed against his chest only fuelled my rage. Once he saw I was going to let him speak, he continued. 'It's a type of emotional foreplay, one that links our minds. You must have felt a connection to me as I touched you. Am I right?' He asked. I thought distastefully back to when I'd felt like I'd been almost inside his head. When he saw the look on my face, it was confirmation that I knew what he was talking about. 'When two onis touch each other's horns it creates a mind link similar to one during normal telepathy, but it's a little bit more…' He paused, watching me as he thought of an appropriate word. ' _Intimate_. It's a means for mates to share their affection for one another. If you had have touched my horns as well then the connection would have been stronger and I would have been able to feel your emotions too. Just like how I did when you touched them the first time.' He finished. I went even redder and he chuckled as he noticed the realisation dawning upon my face. 'Who would have thought you found me so irresistible? You say you aren't drawn to me but… that's not what I felt from you. Our attraction to each other does indeed run deeper than lust, just like how you remarked. It's because we are one of the same, two halves to a whole. You felt that way towards me because it's hardwired into our souls to be together. It's _destiny,_ Chizuru.'

He smirked as my eyes flew open. He'd felt what I felt? He'd read my mind? I wanted to die as I thought about all the things I'd pondered while I was touching him. I was so utterly mortified that I felt tears stinging the back of my eyes. I didn't even know what to say to him. I couldn't even deny my attraction anymore.

He noticed my desperation and chuckled, making sure he held me tighter when I tried once more to pull away. 'Stop fretting. No matter what your reaction now, the end result will be the same. You will be my wife, my mate. You can't escape it.' He sighed. I screwed up my face. 'I am not your mate, nor will I ever be!' I spat. He grinned a little as he pulled me tighter. 'Is that why you had such a strong reaction to our connection?'

I finally pushed him away from me, ignoring his question so I wouldn't lose it. 'What about you? You didn't act like that when I touched your horns!' I accused, crossing my arms. He pulled me back to him for the thousandth time, this time just as distracting as the last. 'I was hiding it because we had company. But inside… I was an absolute mess.' He breathed, running his fingers down my cheek. I clicked my tongue and tugged myself from his grip. 'Urgh. You know I would never have agreed to let you touch me if I had have known what it did. You've just lost some of my trust and considering it took so long to develop, it's not going to be easy to regain!' I snapped. He almost pouted a little at my words and folded his arms across his chest. 'Now, now, don't be like that. I promise I won't touch your horns again without your permission. If it makes you feel better, you were the first person to touch mine. Is that good enough?' He asked. I snorted. ' _Good enough_? You'll need to do a lot better than that if you want me to forgive you and I don't particularly care if I was the first or not. Honestly. Every time I think you're not as intolerable as I thought, you do something like _that_!' I retorted. His frown was only getting deeper and deeper but he wasn't angered by my words. I could still see sparks of awe in his eyes as he analysed my luminous skin and rosey eyes. 'Then… I'm sorry.'

I shut my mouth as he lowered his gaze from me. He looked very much uncomfortable and I knew that was because those words rarely came out of his mouth. Who would have thought he would apologise to me twice in the space of only a few days. I doubted he'd ever said sorry this much in his life.

I slowly unclenched my fists as my anger faded and when I had sobered up, I realised I didn't like being angry with him. After our last fight I'd sworn I never wanted to fight like that again, not only because it made me feel terrible but I had seen how much it'd affected him too. 'Well… I guess I accept your apology but don't touch me like that again unless I say so. And I won't.' I muttered, looking away as his mellow eyes shifted up to me. His discomfort was replaced with a smug smile. 'Well, you will. But until that day I will uphold my promise.' He said. I just shook my head at his remark and sighed. It was impossible to win against him.

I sat back down on my futon. I didn't quite understand what he'd done to me but the memory of how it felt filled me with a weird sense of longing. I'd felt his presence and his emotions within me. It made me blush to remember how I'd sensed how pretty he thought I was. He'd meant every compliment he'd given me and the knowledge made me even more humiliated. Who knew such a connection to him would feel so… heavenly.

I scrunched up my face and banned those thoughts from my head as Kazama sat down beside me by the fire. 'Do you want me to teach you how to revert?' He asked, his voice piercing the silence. I thought about it for a while. I was getting quite exhausted and all I wanted to do was sleep. The weight of everything that had happened was really sapping my energy and I also wanted to escape him in order to forget how I'd reacted to what he'd done to me. 'Alright.' I said. I was a little disheartened as I thought about transforming back, especially because I wanted to explore my senses even more but I couldn't stay like this forever. Kazama didn't turn to me as he spoke. 'Go back into meditation and pull the power from your skin. Fortunately the more you practice switching back and forth between forms, the easier it will become. Soon enough you won't even need to meditate to do it.' He said. I nodded, relieved at that. Meditation was exhausting.

Just as I went to turn my back to him, he reached out and stopped me. 'Wait. Let me savour your beauty for a few seconds longer.' He requested. I blushed and slapped his hand off me. 'You got to savour a lot more than that tonight so I think you've had enough.' I muttered, cringing as I thought about all the embarrassing things he'd made me do. He partially seemed to agree with me so he shifted back to his spot. 'Touché. You _did_ make such beautiful noises. I thought I'd need to wait for our wedding night to hear such sweet sounds come from your mouth so I guess I can grant you this.' He sighed, giving me a sidelong glance as he anticipated my reaction. I grit my teeth and spun away from his obnoxious expression. He always knew what to say to irk me.

Once I'd calmed down from his comment, I slipped back into my consciousness with relative ease. I could see the power there against my flesh, pulsing and glowing as it maintained my oni form. I felt disappointed as I plucked it from my cells and released it back into the darkness. It went straight into hiding again where the others were nestled safely. The power in my skin faded slowly, my claws and horns retreated.

When I opened my eyes again, I sighed. My senses seemed much duller than I remembered. The colours were now so plain that I might as well have been viewing the world in black and white. When I peered down at my hands they were pink and clawless. My hair no longer shone and my skin had lost the glow I'd found so stunning. Kazama noticed my displeasure. 'Now that you've done it once it won't be as difficult. When I teach you telepathy you will be able to change back again, and I am looking forward to that even more now.' He purred. I grimaced at his comment and shifted my now boring coloured eyes to meet his. He looked duller as well with my human vision but it flustered me to realise I still found him beautiful. 'When will we do that?' I asked. He shrugged. 'Soon. Technically you don't need to be in your oni form to do it but it will definitely be easier for you. Once you are more experienced then we will be able to communicate as we are now, in our human forms.' He said. I nodded, overjoyed that I was making solid progress. My disappointment at reverting slowly faded and I was left filled with pride. I really had done it. I wasn't a useless oni, after all. Maybe by the end of the journey I could do everything Kazama could do.

The thought filled me with warmth.

After several minutes of silence, I began to feel really tired. Kazama sighed as I swayed. 'Go to bed. We are leaving early tomorrow and a lot has happened. You'll need your rest.' He advised. When I took a peek at him, he was staring at me but not in a foreboding way. Kind of…placidly. I blushed and nodded. 'Ok.' I said, as I got up to arrange my futon. Kazama turned away from me as I took off my boots and got into bed.

As soon as my head hit the pillow, my eyes grew heavy. Slowly the buzz of my excitement faded and I was left feeling nothing but desperate to fall asleep.

And with the knowledge that Kazama was around to keep me safe, I did just that.

* * *

 **Ending note**

WOW THAT WAS A FRECKING LONG CHAPTER. I hope you guys liked it, let me know what you thought. I loved writing this one haha


	22. First name basis

**Oshiet-** Thank you! I wanted to make sure I got those scenes right because I think it's an important part of her development. It always surprised me how other fics didn't really go much into the process of transformation, or how she felt or looked, and for me I wanted to write them in as much detail as possible. And if you want to draw her, don't hold back haha! I hope you enjoy this chapter despite the fact it's much shorter :)

 **Cassiel-** Merci beaucoup :D tes reviews sont toujours tellement sympa. Je suis contente que tu as aime les chapitres, et je vais continuer d'essayer de les poster rapidement. Jespere que tu aime cet chapitre aussi malgre le fait que c'est moins longs :D

 **Rei Eien** \- Thanks for you review! I love Kazama too, he's definitely my favourite anime character. As for if she finds out she's betrothed to Kazama... you'll have to wait and see hehehe :D

 **Gembokkunci47** \- I'm glad you like what i've written so far. The pacing of the story is really important to me because i don't want things to be rushed and i want events to develop at a natural pace and not seem forced. It did take quite a lot of thought to develop the plot and the details about the onis but I loved it; it's so fun to create something like this, and in some ways it's good that Hakuoki didn't go much into the oni stuff because it means I can tweak a lot of stuff. Chapter 19 (the fight chapter) and chapter 21 (when Chizuru changes into her oni form) were my favourite chapters to write. They were so much fun and i'm glad that you liked them as well. Please continue to read my work! :D

 **Guest 3446** \- Aww thank you :3 i was so happy to hear you compliment my writing because i really do work hard on this story. It takes many hours of writing and editing to produce and i love hearing when you guys like it :) i especially loved writing that scene, where Kazama goes crazy with compliments. He's really such a sweet talker :D

* * *

 **First name basis**

We'd gotten up at dawn and set off after we'd eaten.

Kazama had graciously let me take the lead in riding. He hadn't taken his eyes off me since I woke up this morning and I knew it was because of last night. Every time I thought of my transformation I was filled with so much pride and excitement that I could barely contain it but it was always quickly distinguished by the memory of him touching my horns. I was trying so hard not to let the scene replay in my mind but it was proving increasingly more difficult the harder I tried to push it away. I was still having trouble believing I'd reacted so… _humiliatingly_ to his touch. I knew he'd never let me live that down.

I disregarded the thought and turned my attention back to the path in front of us. Now that I knew what it was like to have oni vision I couldn't help but feel disheartened as I looked around at the scenery. I'd seen hundreds of new colours in the nature around me and now my surroundings seemed so bland. I had been able to smell the dirt, feel the life all around me. I'd been able to sense the presence of the 3 men as well and I had no doubt they'd been able to sense mine. I wanted to change back again and inspect myself a little more thoroughly and to explore my senses but I was embarrassed to do it in front of Kazama after how he'd reacted to my oni form. I had to admit I was flattered he thought I was so beautiful but it didn't mean I wanted that level of attention on me again. I'd thought he was going to pick me up right there and take me back to his village with no regard for Sen's orders.

I flinched as I felt soft fingers skim the back of my neck. I supressed the shudder that went down my spine just as Kazama sighed. I knew what he was thinking about. That was the thousandth time this morning that he'd sighed and touched my neck like that.

When he touched me again a few seconds later, I was the one to sigh. 'Can you stop that?' I grumbled, the first to speak in at least an hour. I couldn't see his face but I could tell he was amused. He'd obviously been testing how much I could take before I snapped. 'It's _your_ fault that I'm touching you.' He said lazily. I grit my teeth. That was his favourite phrase, I could tell. He seemed to like telling me things were my fault when they weren't. 'No, it's not.' I muttered, pushing his fingers off me again. He gave up trying to caress my skin but he continued to talk. 'Yes, it is.' He said simply. 'I can't stop thinking of those beautiful, rosey eyes gazing up at me. Such an exquisite hue.'

I frowned as he reached around to turn my head to look up at him. His eyes were burning hotter than I'd predicted and I was forced to lower my gaze. The way he was looking at me gave me a weird feeling in my stomach. 'Just like the colour of dusk, my favourite colour. You were truly made for me, my dear bride.' He purred. I went red as he let me go and I spun back around to face the front before my cheeks caught fire. I had no idea how to react to him when he said things like that. I remembered him telling me on our date that he loved the pink colour in the sky after the sunset and unfortunately for me that was a similar colour to the pink in my eyes. He'd always made comments about how he found me beautiful but the compliments he'd smothered me with last night had been much bolder than usual. I thought back to when I'd looked at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes truly had been breathtaking. I was definitely not a vain person but even I couldn't resist the feeling of pride I felt when I thought about how incredible they were. Pink and gold was such a beautiful combination.

'You did well, though.' His voice interrupted my thoughts, startling me. He didn't wait for me to acknowledge him before he continued to speak. 'You managed to transform relatively quickly last night and you didn't lose control, just like how I promised you wouldn't. I must admit you have impressed me, Chizuru, especially with how you are learning to control your clan power too despite never being taught. It surprises me how someone who has such a natural talent with their powers never knew they were an oni.' He said simply. I blushed again. Yet another compliment, a very polite one at that. Maybe I underestimated the good mood that my oni form had put him in. 'Thank you, Kazama-san.' I murmured. I felt him chuckle behind me. 'I am content that my wife is both beautiful _and_ gifted. I knew when I saw you at the Ikedaya inn that you would be deserving of me.' He chortled. I should have known there'd be a catch to his flattery. Maybe when he was complimenting me he was really just gratifying himself because he believed one day I'd be his wife. I guess having a 'beautiful and gifted' wife would earn him the respect he craved from his people. In other words, I was just something he could show off. But even though that's what I feared, I knew his praise was genuine. He really was impressed with my skill, and he really did think I was beautiful.

I sighed, ignoring the stream of compliments that had left his mouth. I'd never seen him in such good spirits before but his words were making it hard for my cheeks to return back to their normal colour. I looked down at my hands, clothed in the blue riding gloves that Asuka had given me. 'Did you see pink in my eyes when you changed me using your force field at the inn?' I murmured, pretending I didn't hear his flattery. I instantly regretted speaking when I felt his warm hands slide over my head, stroking once over my hair. 'I did not change you fully hence why the hue of your eyes didn't show. This is also why you didn't grow horns, fangs and claws. If I had have seen back then the true extent of your beauty then you would have been coming with me on that very night.' He purred behind me. I flicked his hand off my head and straightened my bun. 'Why _do_ my eyes have pink in them?' I asked, hoping if I kept talking then it would distract him from touching and complimenting me. I flinched as he plucked a leaf off my shoulder that had fallen from the trees above us. 'Oni eyes can have one of four hues; green, white, orange and pink. The colours have no meaning and are hereditary, just like how human eyes vary in colour. It is likely one or more of your ancestors had pink hued eyes.' He said, tossing the leaf onto the ground. I watched it twirl down from the height, finally hitting the dirt.

When I turned around to pose even more questions, he already had his mouth open to ask me something. 'So have you figured out what my clan power is yet?' He inquired. I frowned at his change of topic but answered anyway. 'Well no, because the clue you gave me was less than helpful. Dragons don't even exist.' I said. Last night he'd offered to tell me his clan power if I showed him my oni form but I'd refused. There was no way I would have done in that moment because I was in too much shock… but I did kind of regret it now. Because of the horrid clue he gave me, it would probably be a whole eternity before I figured out what his clan power was. I was surprised when he chuckled. 'You thought onis didn't exist either until recently.' He countered. My frown deepened. 'Well, are they real?' I asked. He shrugged as he opened his bag and pulled out his water flask. 'Maybe once.' He said. I wanted to press for answers but got distracted by the sound of water going down his throat. I could hear him swallowing it. When he put the lid back on again and packed it back into his saddlebag, I decided to try my luck once more. 'Can I get another clue?' I asked. I felt him grin behind me like he'd known I would ask. Just like last time, he thought a bit about it before he finally answered. 'Hmm…I think I will let you suffer for a little more until I part with another clue.' He said simply. I sighed, subconsciously slouching my shoulders. I could tell it fed his ego that I wanted something from him. Maybe he was keeping himself shrouded in mystery because he loved watching me struggle for information.

I sighed irritably. 'Honestly. You want me to be your wife but you won't tell me anything about yourself. It's so hard to get anything from you.' I mumbled. My comment seemed to perk him up strangely. 'You're interested in getting to know me?' He questioned. I went red at his comment and didn't answer. I _did_ want to find out more about him but my pride would never allow me to admit it. He chuckled at my silence. 'I'm surprised you think it's that difficult to get me to do what you want. I would have thought all the times I've given in to your requests already that you would have noticed I can't help but yield when I see those pleading honey eyes.'

I went red and fiddled with the reins in my hands. Now that he'd mentioned it, there had been a few occasions where he'd given me what I wanted when I'd begged him. When I'd wanted to see the hair combs on our date, when I'd tried horse riding for the first time and wanted to continue, when I'd asked to have lunch with Asuka… I'd thought I'd only gotten lucky but I didn't know he'd been affected by my pleading. The realisation that I could have control over someone as austere as Kazama made me flush a darker red. He maintained the grin on his face. 'Well, it doesn't surprise me you didn't notice because you are completely oblivious to everything going on around you, especially your effects on men. But from now on, if you request something of me using my first name then I will give it to you. Think of it as a gift from a husband to his wife.'

That made me turn around and stare at him. ' _Anything_?' I questioned. He narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously. 'Well, as long as it's not something that would result in harm being done to you or I. But if there's something you desire then you need only call me Chikage.' He said, brushing his fingers down my face. I turned away from him as he touched me. I subconsciously pressed my hand to my cheek where his fingers had been, wincing as the warmth of his skin still lingered.

Would he give me _anything_?

I somehow felt a slight feeling of power. Did that mean he would do anything I asked? I knew he wouldn't break his promise so if I used his name and requested something from him, would he give it to me? Why would he even promise something like that knowing that one day I could use it again him? Maybe he trusted me, too. Or maybe he knew I'd never be able to bring up the courage to do it. I hadn't even called any of the Shinsengumi by their first names, save for Heisuke and that's because we were similar in age. The thought of calling Kazama anything other than Kazama-san made me feel slightly uncomfortable. But I was tempted to try it out, to see exactly what I could make him do. It was possible this would be the only way to get him to tell me things considering he was so secretive. The first thing I would ask of him would be another clue to his clan power.

And yet… I still couldn't say it.

We went silent then. I was glad that I'd managed to distract him; or rather, that he'd allowed himself to get distracted. If his attention had been diverted from me then he'd permitted it himself, for whatever reason.

When the sun was directly above our heads, announcing midday, we stopped to rest a few hundred metres off the side of the path in the forest.

Kazama slipped down off Yuki before me and I ignored his playful offer to help get me down, swinging my leg over her side and landing safely on the dirt. I could see him every now and then turn to look at me and I wondered what he was thinking about whenever he did so.

I flopped down beneath a tree with my flask and a bag of dried apricots. I felt so good to get off the horse even though we'd only been going at a walking pace, but at least now I didn't have Kazama behind me trying to stroke my neck. I thought back to last night and how he'd touched my horns and I instantly went red. Even though it had been mortifying, the truth was that it'd felt amazing. I had no doubt such an acute level of pleasure could not be felt by humans. I'd been able to read his mind too, almost. He'd said it was similar to a normal telepathic link so did that mean I would be able to feel his emotions again? Would he be able to feel mine? I was really eager to try even though I had no idea what to expect. With each new thing I discovered about myself, I became hungrier and hungrier for information. Now that I had successfully managed to change into my oni form all I wanted to do was explore more of my powers. It was addictive. It was so surreal that I was capable of all these things and I hadn't even known. Deep down, I was grateful to Kazama for teaching me. Amagiri was correct when he'd told me that Kazama would be a good teacher. Sure, he was rather impatient and demanding but I'd managed to learn rather quickly under his tutelage. He may have meant it when he said I had natural talent, but all the natural talent in the world wouldn't have allowed me to change into my oni form and control my clan power on my own.

I looked down at the kodachi at my waist. Would he teach me swordsmanship too if I asked? I wasn't entirely useless with a blade but I would be hopeless against any of the Shinsengumi and even Kazama himself. His sword skills weren't as refined as Saitou's and Okita's but I could tell he'd had extensive training; he also possessed much more strength than the average human which made his blows even deadlier. If I requested it of him, would he teach me how to better use my sword? I'd had a few lessons with Saitou when he'd trained the new recruits but that was a long time ago and I hadn't done it enough to improve. I had always been busy with housework, and the others with patrolling. If I could learn how to use protect myself with my kodachi then I wouldn't need to rely on everyone's help and I would feel more comfortable with going places on my own. Even if I learned how to use my oni powers I knew I wouldn't be able to use them to defend myself; at least not unless it was an emergency. This wasn't because they wouldn't be good enough but because Kazama would probably reprimand me, and I never, ever wanted to fight with him again about using my oni powers in public. I still got shudders when I thought about how intense that argument had been and how horrible it had made us both feel. Who would have thought that fighting with each other would affect us both in the way it did. I hadn't known I could hurt him like that and I guess he'd never expected he could make me so angry. I'd never sworn before and I'd said at least a few crude words during the peak of my anger and I still felt embarrassed when I thought about it. But he'd accepted my apology, and I'd accepted his. There was no point in dwelling on it anymore.

When I snuck a look at him, he was plucking at some grass from the soil with a pensive frown on his face. His fringe had fallen forward, the thin beams of light filtering through the trees above causing his hair to shine gold. I followed the curve of his neck down to his shoulders, admiring their broadness, before shifting my vision to his chest. I could see him breathing but I couldn't hear it like I had last night in my oni form. I reflected back on when I'd looked at him last night with my oni vision. I remembered the brilliance of his scarlet eyes, the radiant glow of his porcelain skin. He was so beautiful. So incredibly beautiful…

When I looked back up at his face, I blushed. He was staring straight back at me and I realised he must have seen me appraising him. He wasted no time in teasing me. 'That was quite a thorough examination, Chizuru. Did you find on my body what you were searching so vigorously for?' He asked. I could already hear a chuckle rumbling in his chest and it only made me go redder. When I didn't answer he finally started to chortle. 'By all means, continue if you wish. It's only natural that a wife admires her husband.' He said smugly. I turned away from him as my face heated up. I couldn't even deny that I was staring at him because he'd seen me. The fact that he'd read my mind last night when I'd touched his horns made it a million times worse as well. He knew now for sure that I found him attractive; he'd heard it from my own mind!

When I still didn't say anything, he smirked irritatingly and then turned back to the grass he was picking at. 'Tonight we will try to communicate telepathically. Once you are comfortable with the process then we will try in our humans forms.' He said. My humiliation instantly drained at the news and I turned to face him once again. His face was blank as he looked up to see the excitement on my visage. 'How does it work?' I asked. He looked at me neutrally as he spoke. 'A telepathic link can be established through skin-to-skin contact of any kind. There are a number of things we will be able to communicate to each other, such as thoughts, memories, smells and feelings but we will start off by exchanging words; talking normally, as you will. It is possible to have conversations exactly like the one we are having in this moment but inside our minds. When you get better at it, we will be able to add memories and feelings to our discourse which will add a level of richness that normal conversation cannot provide. If you are that enthralled with changing into your oni form, I believe this will be even more intriguing to you.'

I could feel the excitement buzzing within me. Kazama looked as stoic as ever as he watched a giddy smile come across my face. 'You appear to be excited.' He noted. I lowered my face, slightly embarrassed. To someone who already knew how to do all of this stuff, maybe my eagerness was a little unusual. All I wanted to do was try it right now. I nodded. 'I am. And I'm eager to change back into my oni form as well.' I admitted. He leaned back on one arm and gazed at me with half-lidded eyes, an action which told me he was going to spout something obnoxious or provocative. 'I too am eager for you to change back, so I may gaze upon the intoxicating beauty of my wife. To think one day every inch of you will belong to me. I may just lose my mind before then, if you make me wait too long.' He purred. I blushed, folding my arms as I lowered my face from his. 'Well, get prepared to wait an eternity because it will never happen.' I retorted. He shrugged, cocking his head to one side as his eyes grew even hazier. 'I would wait a thousand eternities if it meant I would have you, Chizuru. I have already waited 5 years. I am prepared to wait longer, if need be.'

I shook my head slightly at his response and decided I wasn't going to argue with him anymore. He was too quick-witted and much too infuriating to bicker with for more than a few minutes. I knew if I kept on going then I would just make things worse for myself. He was always so confident in himself. Couldn't he see that I was in love with another man? In fact, I was certain he could. He obviously just didn't care. Either that or he was so convinced I would fall for him by the end of the trip that my feelings for Hijikata wouldn't matter anymore. I almost snorted at the thought. But now that I knew he wasn't after me anymore only because he wanted a child, now that I knew I would not be mistreated as his wife… I no longer had any excuses for not falling in love with him, too.

'Alright, enough fun. We have a way to travel before nightfall.' His baritone voice pierced through my frantic thoughts. When I looked up at him he was already on his feet, peering down at me expectantly.

 _Could_ I fall for this man?

The thought horrified me. I couldn't. I wouldn't allow myself to. I loved Hijikata and I had for a long time. I wanted to be with _him_. I would be happy by his side, wouldn't I be? An oni with a human...

A human who would be gone before my life had even began.

Kazama held out his hand for me to take. 'Do you need help getting up, or are you deliberately staring up at me like I'm a ghost?' He sighed, raising a perfect eyebrow. I dismissed the disturbing thoughts from my head and stood up myself, maybe a little too quickly. Kazama frowned slightly but didn't say anything, moving over to Yuki to mount her.

I felt a little bit ill as I mulled over my previous thoughts. Kazama had told me I'd live for a long time, much longer than any human. Hijikata was at least 10 years older than me. He had probably 50 years of life left if he stayed healthy, 50 years of life as my husband until he turned to ash. The thought instilled such a sharp ache in my heart that I almost gasped for breath.

But Kazama… we would age together, live together, and we would die together too.

Kazama's words echoed in my head. _Oni mates share a bond which humans cannot even fathom, a connection borne through love which links both their minds and their bodies for all eternity. You and I shall possess such a bond once we are wed..._

I tried desperately to reel in my thoughts, to stop thinking about my fate with either man but I just couldn't. I wanted to be with Hijikata, but as his wife I was destined to be a widow. I would only be abandoned. No matter how strong our love I couldn't follow him to death.

When Kazama offered his hand to me, I took it and he pulled me up behind him. When he told me to hold on, I did. And as I pressed my cheek to his back I closed my eyes. This man was rough around the edges. He was arrogant and broody, but I knew he would care for me. After all, I believed what he'd said during our fight. That I would be his equal. That he would care for me and our offspring because we would be his family.

But I didn't want to fall in love with him.

Not because the idea disgusted me, or that I thought a life with him would only bring me misery. But because I was scared. I was scared of how easy it would be to if I would only let my guards down. I was scared of loving someone to the point where we had such a bond, one that would unite us in life and in death. I was scared to realise that a life with another oni, a man who understood me, might just be better than a life with a human after all.

And for the first time ever, I felt a bit of fear creep into me when I thought of it.

Fear that my heart would falter.

After a few minutes I managed to find my composure. I couldn't think of this now, not while travelling. If I was going to ponder such deep subjects I would need to wait until I was alone and at peace. And quite frankly, it was a topic I didn't want to dwell on too much. If it did occur then I would cross that bridge as I came to it.

I decided to think about tonight. I couldn't deny that I was excited to try to talk telepathically. Even though I had a feeling it would take some getting used to, I knew I would enjoy it. Kazama had said we would be able to have normal conversations in our minds. Would I be able to hear his voice, or would I just _picture_ the words he was saying? I had so many questions but I was comforted by the fact I knew Kazama would answer them all tonight.

We rode for many hours after that. Kazama had a stern look on his face but it wasn't anger; he was planning, concentrating, thinking about things. I could see on his face that he was deep in thought. He was indeed more like Hijikata than he realised, always assessing and thinking no matter what time of the day or night, no matter what he was doing.

I kept my arms wrapped around his torso, his scent enveloping me as my face was buried into his back. The cold of the wind rushing through my hair and clothes didn't bother me much as Kazama's body heat was warming me through to the bone. He was always so hot. I jokingly pondered if that was his clan power.

Eventually, the sun disappeared and inch by inch I watched it set until all the colours of dusk had faded from the sky.

Signalling the end of yet another day.

* * *

 **Ending note**

This was a shorter chapter... but I guess they're all short when you compare them to chapter 21 (rose-gold) haha. I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless, especially the fact that Chizuru is slowly beginning to let her guard down.


	23. Lost in thought

**Oshiet** \- Thank you! I completely agree with you about Hij x Chi. I must admit when I watched the anime series I didn't really ship her with anyone. It was only when I watched the two movies that I realised how much more suited Kazama was to her than anyone else and was pretty devos that they didn't explore his character a lot more. As for chapters, this will be a long story; I have about 45 chapters planned already (including the ones I've already written) and I haven't finished planning. I also plan to have at least 2 more sequels to this story after I finish this one. As you can probably guess I don't like to rush things so that's why the story is so long haha! And yes I do have my own works, all with original plots. I've been writing since I was about 10, some stories are almost 400 pages long and have taken years to write but are not intended to be released haha. I write them for myself because I like writing :D I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's another long one

 **Gembokkunci47** \- Thanks for your review! Chizuru and Kazama really are the best match in my opinion because they are both onis and I think their personalities go well together. As for you question, the answer is yes. In this story the men of the Shinsengumi are rasetsus (Okita, Sannan, Heisuke, Hijikata and Saito… Harada and Shinpachi didn't drink the Ochimizu, I'm pretty sure). Thanks for your review and I hope you like this new chapter.

* * *

 **Lost in thought**

Night had fallen an hour ago and we'd settled in the forest for the night.

The men were seated around the fire, waiting patiently for dinner to be ready. Tonight I was cooking soup with noodles and vegetable dumplings. It had taken some preparation but it was one of my favourite meals so it would be well worth it. I was so happy to be cooking after a full day of travel; an exhausting one at that. There was something about travelling such long distances that was so tiring. I felt like I was always short on sleep and it didn't help that we often awoke and set off before the sun had fully risen. It was interesting to study the 3 men around me though, as they always looked full of energy and seemed to be comfortable with waking up at daybreak. I'd usually woken up early in the Shinsengumi but even I had my limits. When this trip was over I was planning on sleeping for 2 weeks straight.

I peered into the pot of soup and stirred it. The noodles were swelling, the dumplings were staying intact and it smelt so good that I had to sigh. Dipping a small spoon into the broth, I collected some and brought it up to my mouth. The taste hit my tongue and I smiled contently as I realised it was perfect. I was always hungry due to travel but I had to make sure I didn't eat too much because I didn't want to go through all the food before we reached the next village. Besides, the men with me needed much more food than I did so I was willing to sacrifice some of my rations. I owed them that much at least for letting me accompany them.

I pulled out some bowls from the sack of cooking utensils and placed them in a row, ready to serve dinner. The men remained silent but not even Amagiri and Shiranui could hide the impatience in their eyes as they watched me serve their food. However hungry I was, I knew without doubt they were even moreso. I spooned the soup into our bowls, splitting the dumplings between them and giving myself only two. I put my own bowl to the side and picked up the pot, pouring the last of the broth evenly into the men's bowls. Shiranui and Amagiri's gazes had become even more intense as they waited for me to finish and I resisted the urge to smile at the eagerness in their eyes.

Shiranui already had his hands raised to take the bowl off me when I picked it up. 'Thanks.' He said, and I handed him a spoon and some chopsticks which he took only too readily. I picked up Amagiri's bowl and blushed when I saw he was already bowing when I looked up. 'Thank you, Chizuru-sama.' He said, raising himself and taking his bowl of soup from my hands. 'You're welcome.' I said, humbled at his politeness. I gave him his spoon and chopsticks and I saw Shiranui had already started eating. I smiled slightly and looked down at Kazama's bowl, gathering his cutlery. He was gazing up at the sky, the flames from the fire casting dancing shadows across his visage. He had the blank expression on his face that he adopted when he was at peace. We'd been travelling for more than 2 months and he'd never come and got his own food, so I knew tonight would be no different. I stood up and brought his bowl over to him. 'Here you are, Kazama-san.' I said. He inclined his head to say thanks and I moved back over to my side of the fire.

When everyone had their dinner, I sat back down in my spot and pulled my bowl closer to me.

I was just about to raise a dumpling to my lips when Kazama interrupted. 'Come and sit next to me.' He ordered. When I looked at him he appeared serious. He'd never asked me to eat next to him before but I nodded. 'Uh… ok.' I said, getting up and moving closer to him. We sat next to one another, facing the fire, but it wasn't uncomfortable. A long time had passed since I last feel uneasy being close to him.

Just as I went to start eating again, I saw a graceful hand come out of nowhere and pick up my bowl. I opened my mouth to protest as he took it wordlessly away from me and brought it closer to his own. 'Kazama-san?' I inquired cautiously when I saw him pick up his chopsticks, and I watched in horror as he moved one of his dumplings into my bowl. 'Kazama-san, no! Those are yours!' I said desperately, trying to take it away but he turned to look at me sharply. I was silenced when I saw the stern look on his face.

When he saw that I'd removed my hands from the scene, he gave me another one his dumplings and finally pushed it back to me. 'I won't have you starve yourself in my company.' He said curtly. I could tell he wasn't happy but I couldn't deny I was a little moved by his action. I peered down to see he'd split them equally between us. I lowered my eyes. 'Thank you, Kazama-san. But I don't need as much food as you do. I'm fine with just 2 dumplings, really.' I asserted, but I could already tell he wasn't listening to me. He picked up his bowl and started to eat, not even sparing me a side glance. I watched him for a few more seconds before I sighed and gave up. Once again he'd managed to surprise me. If there was one thing I'd learned on this trip it was that he wasn't as selfish as I once thought.

As I ate the dumplings he'd given me, I flicked my eyes to him. He was eating tranquilly, soundlessly. I'd noticed he was such a neat eater. I of course tried to be as well but the amount of times I'd split food on myself was countless. I tried not to notice the way his lips enclosed around the spoon, just like they had around my fingers when I'd fed him all those weeks ago, but the more I attempted to avoid the thought the harder it became. He had this way of making me think and feel things that no other man could. There was just something about him that tested my self-restraint.

I turned away before he caught me looking at him. I didn't want to encourage these feelings inside me, not after what I'd thought about earlier today. I was being ridiculous. I couldn't let him get to me. But some part of me knew exactly why I was trying so hard; because if I really did let him get to me, I knew I couldn't stop myself from being affected by his charm. I'd seen parts of him that had shown me he definitely wasn't evil. He wasn't a monster. He was just a little… capricious. Just like Hijikata.

I raised the bowl up and drank the rest of the broth, trying not to think any more about it. The truth was it made me feel guilty. I was already in love with one man so why was I entertaining the thought of falling in love with another? And what would the Shinsengumi think of me if I was to fall in love with the very man that had spent 4 years trying to kill them? They'd think I was insane.

And _Sen_ , too.

I shuddered.

I didn't even want to think about how she would react if I told her I wanted to be with him. She would have the worst reaction by far, worse than the reactions of the Shinsengumi combined. If she'd reacted so hysterically to me asking if I could travel with him then I could only imagine what she would do if I told her that I wanted to _marry_ him. She would definitely kill us both.

When I looked at him again, I felt the heat enter my cheeks. He didn't even need to do anything to make my heart beat faster, to cause my palms to grow sweaty.

What was he doing to me? Why was I thinking of these things, _and_ _why couldn't I stop_!?

Almost on cue, his eyes shifted to meet mine. He raised an eyebrow as I looked away hurriedly, inwardly cursing myself for my recklessness. I flinched as I heard him draw in a breath. 'You seem to have taken great interest in me today, Chizuru. Although I'm not complaining.' He said. He hadn't _sounded_ like he was teasing me but I knew for sure that he was. I pouted, refusing to answer him as I gathered up all the dirty dishes from around me and put them in the sack. As I came to him, I plucked his dishes off the grass and put them inside the bag.

I was just about to move away when warm fingers secured my chin. He lifted my face up to meet his. 'Chizuru.' He said, narrowing his eyes at me. I lowered my own and he tapped my chin with his finger, signalling for me not to avert my eyes. He slid his thumb once over my lips and captured my eyes with his own. I could feel myself getting lost in their swirling cerise depths. I couldn't believe once I'd been so scared of them and now I truly felt they were the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen.

They narrowed even more and I could feel him raking my face for any clues as to what was going on. My heart was pounding in my chest. I was begging that he wouldn't pick up on anything, that he would hurry up and let me go. I was melting so close to him. As I looked upon his face, I didn't need my oni vision to see just how beautiful he was.

Suddenly, he softly released my chin. 'If you wish to admire me then you need not hide it. I am yours, after all, as much as you are mine.' He said casually, watching with amusement as I became even more flustered. I frowned at him as I picked the sack up off the grass. 'I'm not admiring you.' I mumbled, reddening even more as I turned away from his snooty expression. I heard him chuckle. 'Your willingness to lie just proves you were raised among humans. But the fact that you're so appalling at it reminds me that you are indeed an oni.' He teased lightly, continuing to chuckle as I moved back to my spot.

I ignored what he'd said, albeit with difficulty. 'I'm going to wash these.' I announced. Kazama's haughtiness immediately evaporated. 'No, you're not. You're going to stay here. Shiranui will take care of them.' He said, not even turning to examine the expression of horror that crossed Shiranui's face. He looked like he'd just been asked to sever his own limbs. I bit my lip guiltily. 'It's ok. I can…'

'No.' He turned to face Shiranui finally and didn't even seem to care about his companion's injured look. 'Go.'

Shiranui slumped his shoulders and appeared beside me, hauling the sack of dishes over his shoulder. He let out an exaggerated sigh, much like a child who'd been told to do housework, and disappeared from the campsite. I felt really bad that he'd been made to do my job but what Kazama ordered was final.

Kazama turned back to me and his gaze commanded my total attention. 'Are you ready?' He asked, all traces of his previous impatience gone. I didn't need clarification on what he meant. My own embarrassment and guilt had also vanished and I nodded eagerly. 'I am.' I said. I was so excited. Not only would I be able to change back into my oni form but I was going to test out another one of my powers. Kazama watched me buzz for a little while before he sighed, like he did every time he was about to teach me something new. I'd once thought that sigh was because he wasn't looking forward to teaching me but I suspected now he only did it to mask how much he actually enjoyed it. He raised his eyes to me. 'Very well. Then, the first thing you need to do is transform. It will be easier this time but you will still need to meditate. You may once again do this elsewhere as long as I can still see you.' He said. I nodded, unable to wipe the giddy grin off my face as I stood. I didn't think I needed to go as far away this time so I simply unravelled my futon and laid it down on the grass where I'd been sitting.

Facing away from him, I flicked the hood up over my head. Amagiri watched me for a few more seconds before his attention retreated, as did Kazama's. I suspected they were aware I would find it harder if I knew they were watching me; and they were right.

When I was sure my hood was covering all my hair, I closed my eyes.

Once again it took some effort to calm myself down. I was so excited I could feel my muscles shaking but I wasn't scared this time nor was I filled with uncertainty. I knew I could do it and I knew how to as well. It almost made me laugh how I could feel so enthusiastic about something that must have seemed so simple and natural to them.

I let out a deep breath, trying to relax all my muscles. When I opened up my mind, I noticed once more that it was like a dark cave. I instantly sensed my power, seething in the shadows like they knew that I was about to use them, but were moving slower this time. They didn't seem as wild and the thought encouraged me to reach out and try to pry them out of hiding. I tried again and again to latch onto one and pull it up but they were desperately trying to get away from me.

Eventually I managed to catch a tendril. I forced myself to pause so I could calm down enough to haul it upwards, feeling the excitement rise within me as I realised I had managed to secure one much quicker than last night. I kept a firm grip on it as I heaved it up out of the shadows, feeling my blood grow hotter and hotter the higher I brought it. I was faintly aware of my breathing, fast and shallow, but I wouldn't let anything distract me from changing. I may not have been as nervous as I was last time but that didn't mean I didn't need to concentrate.

I gently pressed it to my flesh. It bound to me instantly, infiltrating my veins and pushing the power through my blood. My skin prickled as I started to change. I felt my body grow stronger and my skin tingling.

But this time I opened my eyes.

I gasped as I saw my cape flowing around my body, just like Kazama's had done the night he'd showed me his oni form. I slowed my breathing as I realised I'd almost been panting and I lifted up my hands to watch claws sprout from them. It wasn't painless, but it wasn't unbearable either. Before I could wince at the discomfort I felt my horns emerge. Reaching up to caress them, I noticed a strand of white hair had come loose and was drifting around my face.

When I blinked to clear my foggy vision, I knew the transformation had been completed.

My clothes settled and almost instantly I noticed the new colours I'd seen last night, just as beautiful as before. I couldn't help but smile as I peered into the forest and realised I could see many metres into the darkness. The moon seemed hundreds of times brighter so it illuminated everything around me, its sparking rays streaming through the canopy of the trees. I'd never seen moonlight manifest itself so visibly before. The silver beams seemed to sparkle, just like my skin and hair.

I reached up to touch my pointed ears, to feel my fangs inside my mouth. Everything was there, as it should be.

I was aware Kazama and Amagiri were staring at me. I could smell their skin and hear their heartbeats, and I blushed as I realised Kazama's was beating much faster than Amagiri's. I could already guess why that was.

After mustering up enough courage to do so, I bit my lip and slowly shifted round to face them. I couldn't bring myself to see their faces, not yet, so I looked at the fire. It almost blinded me because it was so bright but its heat was nice on my skin. The reds and yellows of the flames appeared even more vibrant and I was reminded once more just how similar Kazama's eyes were to fire. It was like they were _made_ of it.

When no one spoke still, I drew in a deep breath and raised my eyes meekly to look at them.

Amagiri's facial expression was rather neutral but I couldn't really detect what emotion he was feeling. Maybe he was impressed with how quickly I'd transformed this time, maybe it was something else. I noticed he had a similar glow to his skin as Kazama had but his wasn't as bright. As I flicked my vision to him, I instantly went red. He looked just as transfixed as last time, with parted lips and drunk, half-lidded eyes.

I wrapped my cape tightly around my body and frowned at him. 'What?' I muttered, self-conscious.

As soon as I spoke he blinked at me, managing to snap somewhat out of his daze at the sound of my voice. When I saw desire flood his eyes, I braced myself for embarrassment. 'Come over here.' He ordered. I sighed, unsure whether to obey, but I found myself standing up anyway. He didn't take his eyes off me as I moved closer to him. He was looking at me like he wanted to eat me.

As soon as I was within arm's reach he wasted no time in extending a hand out to tilt my face up. 'I thought maybe I'd be able to contain myself after seeing you once already but never have I been so wrong.' He breathed, the warmth of his skin seeping straight through my own. I squirmed a little as I saw the scorching heat in his eyes. 'Kazama-san.' I warned, trying to push him away but he grabbed my hand using his spare one and tugged me closer so I was almost against him. When I looked past him at Amagiri he had an unimpressed look on his face. Obviously he was less than pleased with his master's lack of self-control, although something told me he'd expected it.

Kazama caught my attention when he slid his thumb over my wrist. 'Seeing you in this form awakens something carnal within me, Chizuru. You do things to me that no other woman ever has.' He purred, making me gape at his forwardness. I had no doubt I made him feel that way. I could _see_ it, and it was awakening something similar within me as well.

He demanded my full attention as he pulled me swiftly into his lap and I went rigid as I felt his body heat envelop me. He softly kissed my hand, closing his smouldering eyes as he relished in the taste of my skin.

This was very quickly turning into a repeat of last night. Being so close to him was drugging me and I knew if I didn't escape his clutches soon then I might give in to his appeal and that was the last thing I wanted. He was glowing just as brightly as he had the first time, his crimson eyes searing into every inch of skin on my body. His gaze was filled with desire and as I cautiously peered into his hypnotic eyes I could feel how much he wanted me, how much he yearned for me to be his.

Kazama dropped his hand from mine to push the hood off my head. He collected it in his fingers, pulling it gently over one shoulder and I went red as I watched him inspect it placidly, holding it up so it collected a stream of moonlight. It glittered like stars and with my oni vision I could see that when held a certain way it had a slight pale pink sheen. 'You truly do possess rare beauty, Chizuru.' He mused, letting my hair go softly. When his eyes shifted to my own I almost liquefied. His slightly slitted pupils were almost fully dilated and his irises were as red as flames. Once again I could see my own reflection in them and I picked up on the burning glow of my own eyes. A pale pinky gold with silver specks scattered randomly within; just like tiny diamonds. My eyes were so beautiful, especially when seen through his.

Suddenly he took his hand in mine again but it wasn't an action meant to control or restrain me. It was almost like he was just simply holding my hand. 'Are you ready to try?' He asked. I flinched as his voice snapped me out of my transfixion and back into reality. I frowned at him and pulled my hand away. 'Well, yes. But I'm not doing it in your lap.' I mumbled. I tried not to notice how well I fit against him. It was almost like I was born to sit against his body like this but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of having me stay there.

I scrambled out of his lap and he released a sigh of undisguised disappointment. 'What a shame. I could have sworn the expression on your face just then suggested you were enjoying it.' He said. When his mischievous eyes raised to see my reaction I was already blushing. 'I did _not_ enjoy it.' I refuted, folding my arms. He rolled his eyes exaggeratedly and leaned back on one arm. 'You really do lie a lot, don't you?' He accused, words which caused my blush to deepen. I pouted. 'I'm not…'

'Lying? You even lie about lying.' He finished for me, raising an eyebrow. I shut my open mouth and regarded him irritably. 'Can we just get this over and done with?' I asked sharply. I knew if I kept on talking I was just going to dig myself into a deeper hole and eventually I'd be so flustered I'd either not want to try anymore or I would end up saying something I regretted. I could tell Kazama was aiming for the latter, but this time he released me. It appeared as though my desperation to change the topic only proved his point anyway. 'Very well. Sit directly in front of me. I wish to talk to you a little about it before we commence.'

I hesitantly did what he said, sitting cross-legged in front of him. As I watched his ruby eyes pick me apart I couldn't help but blush. 'I spoke to you a bit about telepathy earlier today but I will go over what I said again.' He told me, watching carefully as my embarrassment slowly phased back to excitement. 'A telepathic link can only be established through touch; therefore, it does not work through clothing. Through such a link we will be able to exchange almost all parts of ourselves; memories, feelings, senses and words. Most oni start to practice this ability at about 10 years old when they are better at concentrating but since you are older you will probably find it more difficult. If you are not careful, not only can the thoughts you share with the other person be blurry or warped but you can also accidentally show them things you don't want to be seen. I will teach you some exercises on how to improve your focus to prevent this from happening. As I mentioned on the night I showed you my oni form, oni mates and those with exceptional skill can explore a deeper part of the person they're connected to, a place which the person themselves may not even be aware of; but they can also forcefully uncover things that the other doesn't want them too. This is why another purpose of practicing your concentration is to strengthen your mind barrier so other onis cannot infiltrate your thoughts to expose things you don't want them to know. I must also note that it is possible to maintain a telepathic link during sleep; we call this dream sharing. If two onis fall asleep without severing their telepathic connection then they will enter the same dream. This is usually practiced by mates although it can happen between anyone, even those of the same sex. It can be very helpful when two onis wish to speak entirely in private. Tonight we will simply practice the exchange of words and dialogue, in addition to getting you familiar with the feeling of having another mind inside your own.' He said, letting me know he was done by lifting his eyes to meet mine. He watched me think hard about what I'd told him before he continued. 'Do you have any questions before we begin?'

I pressed my finger to my lip. It certainly did sound interesting. I especially found the thought of dream sharing intriguing. 'Can onis talk to humans telepathically?' I asked. I watched a flicker of disgust cross his face. 'Of course they can't.' He said dryly. I bit my lip at his sharp answer, pushing my silky hair behind my pointed ear. My claws scraped across my soft skin but it didn't hurt. I was just unused to having such long nails, and he watched me as I peered down at my hands and inspected them idly. 'About this mind barrier… what is it exactly?'

He surprised me by reaching out both his hands for me to take. 'I will show you shortly. Now, take my hands. We will begin.'

I suspiciously analysed the blankness on his face before I sighed. 'Ok.' I said, reaching out timidly to let him hold my hands in his. He pulled me a little closer until our knees were almost touching and we were sitting comfortably face-to-face. His skin was so warm and even just the contact from his hands heated my whole body up from head to toe. 'This will feel a little odd but you will grow accustomed to it soon enough. Close your eyes.' He ordered. I nervously did as he said, sealing off the world around me as my eyelids shut. All I could focus on was the warmth of his hands and the sound of his heartbeat. I realised I loved listening to it. That deep, strong thumping noise… it sounded so familiar for some reason. It was almost enough to lull me to sleep.

I felt his hands tighten around mine. 'Keep your eyes closed.'

I nodded, taking in a deep breath as I readied myself. I had no idea to expect but if it felt as weird as he was telling me it would then I wanted to be somewhat prepared. He'd said I needed to focus. So I did what I had when I was meditating; I focused on calming my heart and my breathing and hoped the rest would follow.

No sooner had I thought that, I felt a feeling of pressure inside my head. The sensation was so weird that I had to open my eyes and when I did so Kazama was already glaring at me. 'I said keep them closed.' He said without a second of delay. I bit my lip and did as he instructed and he waited a few more seconds for me to compose myself before he tried again.

When I felt the pressure for the second time, I sat frozen in place. The strange force slid around my brain, almost caressing it. The longer he did it for though, the more I noticed it was not my brain he was exploring but almost like… the casing of my mind. I was just about to pause and ask what was happening but it seemed he'd already planned on telling me. 'Do you feel that?' He asked. I still had my eyes closed but I responded. 'Yes but… what is it?' I murmured, my frown growing deeper as the sensation continued to perplex me. He didn't stop what he was doing and the feeling was getting stronger and more unusual. 'Our minds are covered by something called a barrier. Some oni have weak barriers and some have strong ones, depending on how much they've been trained. Your mind barrier is very weak, I can feel, because you have never practiced strengthening it. What I am doing now is an act which involves touching my mind barrier to yours. This is what we do when we are requesting entry into another person's head and if the person was willing then they would lower their barrier to let them in. You of course are not aware how to lower your barrier, which is not a problem because it is so delicate that I will have no trouble breaking through it.'

I stayed paralysed as he continued his exploration, moving his presence over my barrier until not even an inch had been left untraversed. It was such a foreign feeling. I couldn't even reply because I was so enthralled by what he was doing to me. The pressure of his mind pressing against my own was unusual but it wasn't painful or uncomfortable. It was just… strange.

Kazama continued to talk as I kept my eyes shut. 'Soon you will also be able to use your barrier to request entry into other people's minds, just like I am doing to you. We will practice that once you're familiar with basic discourse. But for now, I will attempt to enter your head. Don't be alarmed at the sensation.' He warned. I swallowed. 'Ok.' I murmured weakly. I was a little nervous because I didn't know what to expect but I was excited as well. Even though the feeling of his mind sliding over mine was weird I still kind of liked it.

Suddenly the pressure intensified. My muscles seized up and I clenched my teeth as I felt it trying to almost get inside me, attempting to worm past the feeble casing that was covering my thoughts.

 _That_ was a feeling I didn't like.

I pulled my hands away from his and opened my eyes to regard him morosely. He sighed at my apprehension. 'I told you it would feel strange.' He said. I pressed my fingers to my temples. 'What was that?' I asked, reflecting on the oddness of having someone try and invade my thoughts. 'I was trying to get past your barrier. As peculiar as it feels, I promise it will not hurt nor will I pry around once I'm inside. Do you wish to try again?' He asked, holding out his hands for me to take once more.

After a slight pause, I nodded. Taking my hands into his once more he gestured for me to close my eyes with a tilt of his head, and I did as I was told.

When the pressure resumed, I sat in complete silence. It was a feeling that no matter how much he'd warned me about I would never have been able to prepare myself for. Even though I had no prior experience with telepathic communication I understood what he meant about my mind barrier. I could feel it even better now, like a large bubble surrounding my mind and keeping all of my thoughts together.

The pressure got even stronger. I could feel a force trying to break through the barricade around my consciousness. He was applying pressure to one spot only, like a pin trying to pop a balloon, and even though it felt a little bizarre it wasn't painful in the slightest. I didn't move or open my eyes even when I felt my barrier weakening bit by bit.

All of a sudden, I felt him break through.

My eyes flew open in panic. Kazama was already looking at me. 'It's ok.' He assured me. I kept my eyes fixed on his, my heart pounding in my chest. There was something _inside_ of my mind. A force that shouldn't be there. He sighed at my frantic expression. 'What you're feeling is me resting inside your mind. Like this I can't see any of your thoughts even though I have gotten past your mind barrier. To communicate with each other, we need to _push_ our thoughts to the other person. I would try right now but I can see by the expression on your face that you need a bit more time to grow accustomed to me being inside your head.'

I couldn't respond to him because I was too busy trying to process what I was feeling.

His mind was without texture, neither hot or cold. It was a strong presence that I could feel hovering above the cloud of my thoughts, lingering just above the surface of a place that no one had ever been before. I realised that it was indeed similar to when he'd touched my horns but with no pleasure and without the waves of his emotion flowing through me. I still felt the same openness, however, and a similar mental connection to him. I wondered if that's how it felt for him as well.

'Are you ok?' His voice disturbed my musings. It was only when I'd opened my eyes that I realised I'd had them shut again. I swallowed the lump in my throat. 'Uh… yeah. I'm fine.' I said shakily. He noticed the wavering in my voice and sighed. 'Do you want to stop?'

I was surprised he was being so considerate. He wasn't making fun of me for my hesitation nor was he pressuring me to continue when he could see so easily the concern on my face. As I looked down at my hands in his, I finally felt some heat return to my face. 'No.' I murmured.

He smirked a little as I gave my answer. 'Finally, some pink on your cheeks. I feared you were going to stay as white as bone forever. It wouldn't be as fun teasing you if you couldn't go red anymore.' He said, his lips tweaking up in amusement. I managed to frown at him with displeasure before I had to resume processing the sensation of being linked to him.

He permitted me to continue my pondering and he didn't interrupt me after that.

I let out a deep breath after a few minutes had passed. 'Ok. I think… I think it may be fine now.' I murmured. He examined my face almost suspiciously, and then he sighed. 'Very well. I will attempt to talk to you. Once again it will feel strange.' He cautioned, holding my hands a little tighter. The touch of his skin was pleasant against my colder, trembling fingers. 'Ok.'

I closed my eyes again and focused on his presence within my head.

This was the part I was most curious about. I wondered if I'd be able to hear his voice or if it would be just like images or writing inside my head that told me what he wanted to say. I was tense from head to toe as I waited for him to communicate with me.

Suddenly, I _felt_ him smirk.

 _In my head_. I felt him smirk!

When I opened my eyes to gape at him, he was smirking in reality too.

My gape only grew wider and I had no doubt my eyes were as large as the moon shining down on us.

 _Chizuru_.

I scrambled to my knees in bewilderment, gripping his hands tightly. His smirk grew even haughtier as he saw the alarm in my expression.

I'd heard his voice! Like a deep echo within my mind. It wasn't as concrete as it was when I heard him talk in real life but there was no denying he'd spoken. Not only could I sense the words but his tone too. I could feel the amusement in the way he'd said my name, just like I'd hear it if he spoke with his mouth.

I spluttered incoherently for a few seconds before I finally managed to say something. 'Kazama-san!' I squealed. His smirk grew even more mischievous. _I told you that you'd find this intriguing._

His words chorused through my head. I didn't know how but I could sense the playfulness behind them, just like how I'd felt the amusement when he'd said my name. I tore one hand from his to cover my mouth in shock, rendered speechless due to the astonishment of hearing someone talk to me without moving their lips.

Kazama chuckled. In my head. _It would seem you are surprised. Rest assured that there will be plenty of times in the future that you will make such a delighted face for me._

Once I'd recovered from the amazement of knowing I could definitely hear him, I settled back down to sit on my calves and frowned. 'Great. Now I can hear you talk nonsense both inside _and_ outside my head.' I deadpanned, shooting him as much of an unenthusiastic glare as I could but I couldn't help but smile a little in my excitement. He grinned, amused by the frankness of my retort. _Try to speak like I am, without words. Enough of boring human speech_ : he directed. I was just about to tell him I didn't know how, when he continued. _Think of what you want to say and actively push it to my presence. Try a simple word first, like my name_.

I sighed. Of course, his ego would require that his name be the first word I spoke.

Shaking my head slightly, I took his other hand back into my own and closed my eyes.

I pictured his name in my head.

 _Kazama-san…_

When I said it, my voice didn't echo like his had. When I opened my eyes Kazama's facial expression hadn't changed and I realised promptly that it hadn't worked. Closing my eyes again, I tried once more.

I isolated the feeling of his psyche and tried to reach for it with my own. I wasn't able to recognise if what I was doing was right or wrong but when I pushed my mind forward to reach out to his I was surprised when it just happened automatically, like it was natural and innate. As I tentatively pushed my mind shakily against his mind barrier, I could feel how solid it was. It was the complete opposite of mine. There was not a single crevice on its smooth surface, not even a crack. His mind was virtually impenetrable.

I reflected on what he'd done to get into my head and I tried to do the same thing. I pressed my presence harder against his mind barrier, trying to communicate that I wanted to be allowed in.

And he let me.

Layer by layer, he removed the walls around his thoughts and permitted me to enter.

His mind was dark. It was completely unlike mine, full of shadows and obscurity. I could sense a hazy mist covering his thoughts and feelings, preventing me from seeing anything he didn't want me to, but I could feel there was something else there that was veiled by the fog. Something twisted and melancholy, a hollowness that not even he could hide from me.

But I was there, nonetheless. I was inside his head, in a place more private than anywhere I'd been before.

He let me sit there for a bit, like he'd rested in mine. He must have known what I could feel but he said nothing, and neither did I. I respected him enough not to pry into things that weren't my business, even if the what I could feel inside him filled me with heartache. I didn't really know what the darkness was or what had caused it, but it wasn't sinister.

Just… lonely.

I refocused myself and took in a deep breath.

 _Kazama-san?_

I flinched as my voice echoed a little bit. I resisted the urge to open my eyes and waited for confirmation of whether or not I'd succeeded.

 _Ah, you impress me yet again, Chizuru. You are indeed a fast learner._

When I opened my eyes, he was smirking at me but I'd already sensed he had been. I couldn't help but grin. 'I did it?' I clarified hysterically, edging closer to him in excitement. He gave me a withering glare and I realised he was chastising me for speaking aloud.

I bit my lip, pushing my words out to him as I chose to speak again. _Uh… sorry_.

He ignored my apology. _Your voice is a little distorted although still audible, but that will fix itself as your confidence grows_ : he assured me. Our eyes were open now, our faces still making the expressions we would as if we were talking normally. I couldn't wipe the crazy smile off my face and I pulled one hand away from his to cover my mouth as I laughed. _I just… this is so weird_ : I giggled, and he responded by intensifying his smirk. _You did well. I have no doubt that if we practice every day you will be almost as efficient as me at this by the end of the month_ : he predicted.

My cheeks were turning pink from thrill and I forced myself to take in a few deep breaths to calm down. I couldn't believe I'd actually done it! Here we both were, having a conversation entirely within our minds! It was certainly a lot more complex than I'd previously thought but many times more amazing. However, it was requiring some serious concentration to talk to him and I had to carefully push each word. _So what now?_ : I asked. He shrugged in real life, but answered me in my mind. _After you are a little bit more comfortable with talking, then I will withdraw my mind from yours and then you may have a try initiating a conversation_ : he replied. I nodded, still unable to wipe the smile off my face.

When I looked at Amagiri, he was watching Kazama and I with mild curiosity. It was insane to think Kazama and I were conversing and yet he had no idea what was being said. All he could see was the exchange of body language and nothing else; a smile from me, then a smirk from Kazama, a shrug of his shoulders, and then me nodding. The knowledge that I was having a secret conversation made me laugh again.

This time, Kazama reacted to my glee. I felt one of his hands part from my own and he reached up to take my chin in his fingers. I instantly went red as he pulled me closer, gazing into my rose-gold eyes. _As much as I like it when you're flustered, the sight of your smile is also satisfying, Chizuru_ : he purred into my head. His sultry tone was even more potent than normal when delivered directly into my brain. I blushed even darker and went to bat his hand away out of habit, but he grinned wickedly. _Now, now. If you push me away then our mind link will break_ : he warned. I frowned. 'You're just using this as an excuse to touch me, aren't you?' I accused. He frowned slightly as I spoke aloud, and I bit my lip. In my embarrassment I'd forgotten that I could have replied mentally but I could tell it wouldn't be the last time I forgot. It would take a while to get used to this, but now that it no longer felt as unusual I noticed with displeasure that I'd kind of liked him inside my mind.

Our connection was immediately broken as he pulled both his hands from me.

I blinked a few times as the pressure left my head and I felt my mind barrier reform. His absence had made me feel a little emptier and I scolded myself for being disappointed at his departure. Kazama sighed. 'Now it's your turn.' He said. His voice seemed so much louder than usual but that was only because it had been so gentle in my head. I nodded, wiping my sweaty palms on my pants. 'Ok.' I mumbled, looking up at him timidly as he held out his hands for me to take again.

I rested my hands in his, sending him a punishing glare as he curled his fingers around them and held them tightly. He gave me a cheeky smirk. He really was using this as an excuse to touch me. I sighed, shaking my head and getting ready to establish a link myself.

I closed my eyes and reached for the surface of his mind. I noticed once again how vast his presence was; there was so much inside his head, I could feel it just by the size of his barrier. I pressed my mind to it tenderly, trying to slide it over the surface like Kazama had done to my own.

When he sensed me tapping on the walls of his mind, he broke them down. I smiled to myself as I realised I'd succeeded. _Did I do it properly?_ : I inquired. He nodded, which I moreso sensed rather than saw considering my eyes were closed. _You did, although the touch of your mind is shaky. That will also improve with time_ : he said, pleased.

When we both opened our eyes, he didn't hesitate in pulling one hand away and using it to take my chin. _You really are a wonder, Chizuru. Talented and beautiful, you alone are deserving of every part of me, everything I have to give_ : he cooed, drawing my face even closer to his. I blushed, growing uncomfortable as his fine words threatened to creep past the defence surrounding my heart. _Kazama-san_ …: I mumbled into his head, averting my gaze from his. Unfortunately due to the nature of the telepathic link I couldn't escape his smirk even when I looked away from him. _It sounds even better when you call my name like this_ : he teased, pulling me nearer.

When I turned back to glare at him, he chuckled inside my head. _Today's lesson is over. You may now do as you wish_ : he chortled, deciding to spare me from further taunts. I instantly plucked myself from his grasp but couldn't deny I was a little disappointed as I felt our mind link evaporate.

I turned away from his infuriating smirk and got up off the grass, moving back to my futon and sitting down.

I realised I loved it. I loved the feeling of communicating like that. It really was more intimate than normal talking and so much more interesting too. I was excited for when we could try again and even add feelings and memories to our conversation, just like he'd told me we'd be able to do.

I was still bubbling with excitement when Shiranui entered the clearing a few minutes later. He shot Kazama a dejected stare before he placed the sack of now clean dishes onto the grass. 'How did you go?' He asked me when he saw I was in my oni form. I beamed at him, trying to reign in my glee because Kazama was there.

However, I wasn't given a chance to reply. 'There is room for improvement but she certainly has a gift for her powers. In other words, she's the perfect candidate for the mistress of the Kazama clan. There is surely no other woman more fitting to be my bride.' He said obnoxiously. I sighed, pressing my clawed hand to my forehead. My cheeks were sizzling at his comment and I heard him chuckle. 'Don't act so disparaged, dear wife. We both know you want me just as much as I want you.' He goaded, tilting his head to the side as he waited for the desired reaction. I tried not to give it to him but I couldn't stop myself from going redder. 'That really isn't true.' I muttered, although I wasn't so sure anymore.

He chuckled. 'I'm sure.' But he let me go after that.

I settled on my futon and fumed for a little bit. I hated it when he teased me and it was made worse because it was always in front of Shiranui and Amagiri. He didn't even have the decency to tease me when we were alone so no one else could hear all the humiliating things he said.

As I calmed down, I thought about what exactly I would do now that dinner had been eaten, the dishes were clean and my lesson with Kazama was over. I decided one thing I needed to do, one thing I hadn't have been able to do last night because of my shock, was to inspect myself a little more. I wanted to become as familiar with this form as I was with my human-looking one, as this new body was no less mine than the other.

I reached into the bag of my futon and pulled out my mirror, turning to the side away from the men so I wasn't facing them while I examined my new features. I closed my eyes to compose myself, then I raised the mirror to look at my face.

I swallowed as I was confronted yet again with a face I didn't recognise.

I pushed my hair back so I could see my ears properly, running a sharp nail over their pointed tips. They were so petite and stuck out from my hair a little. I caressed them both softly, memorising how they felt and processing how different it was that they were pointed. I trailed my nails back down my ears to my lips, admiring their mauve pink colour. They glittered a little in the firelight and the glow of the flames created the illusion that they had an orange tinge. They still had the same shape as my normal lips but they were perfectly smooth and without cracks or flaking. I ran the pad of my thumb over them, noticing they were even softer than before.

I opened my mouth slowly and tilted my face to the side, pushing up my top lip with a finger. My gums were paler, as was my tongue, but my teeth definitely commanded my attention. My fangs were needle sharp, thin and almost translucent at the tips. I gently poked the end of one with my fingertip, wincing as it pierced my skin. The wound had healed before I'd even pulled it away to inspect it.

I sighed and lifted the mirror again, aware that the 3 onis were watching me, but I'd become so engrossed in my analysis that I didn't really mind.

The next thing I inspected was my hair. I brought it up to my face and watched it shine. It emitted a soft, pale glow and felt lighter and thinner than when it was brown. I ran my fingers through it, pushing my fringe away from my forehead so I could see my horns better. I kept one hand raised to keep my fringe back and the other to touch them and I remarked that the two outer ones were much bigger than the two inner ones although still nowhere as near as big as Kazama's. They had no nerve supply as they were just bone but I'd been able to feel every detail of Kazama's fingertips last night, every stroke and caress. It hurt my pride to realise that I craved that feeling.

Once I was finished, I finally studied my eyes. I couldn't help but let out a small sigh. They were by far my most striking feature on my face and I instantly got goosebumps as I stared into their rosey depths. The pink throughout them almost overpowered the gold and my white eyelashes were much longer and fuller than they were in my human form. The mix of dusky pink and gold kind of looked like a sunset, with the specks of silver being stars of an approaching night. They even sparkled like stars, too.

I brought the mirror in closer and watched my pupils constrict to tiny dots. My irises were bigger than my human ones and larger than Kazama's eyes had been in his oni form. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, submerging my vision in darkness, and then I snapped them open. My pupils had opened halfway to full dilation but when they were exposed once more to light they constricted quickly back to tiny dots. I did this again and again, intrigued by how small they were going and how quickly they adjusted to the differing light levels.

'You are beautiful.' Kazama's words split through my concentration.

I felt the huskiness of his voice travel down my spine and turned my legs to mush, but I was unable to react straight away because of what I saw in the mirror. I gasped as my pupils instantly dilated to full size, taking over my irises with inky blackness. By the time I'd blinked a few times my eyes were back to normal but I'd noticed they'd started to glow. The sight was so stunning that I forgot he'd even spoke to me and I gaped at my reflection as they began to blaze a burnished rose-gold. They burned similar to the way Kazama's eyes did when he looked at me.

Had they done that in reaction to _him_?

I heard him chuckle and this time I turned to look in his direction.

The edge of my vision was tinged with pink and I could feel my eyes sizzling as I stared at him. He glowed just as radiantly as my eyes albeit white instead of pink. He seemed to have a halo of light around his head, the shine cast by his golden hair. A crown of light.

I lowered my eyes before I lost my mind. My heart was beating furiously in my chest. He was impeccably beautiful, even with such a self-satisfied smirk on his face but I was beginning to think though that was half his appeal. No matter what happened I knew his smug personality and devious charm would always keep things interesting.

I instantly went red as I thought of it and Kazama chuckled again. 'Something the matter?' He asked. I shook my head. 'No.' I retorted, maybe a little too fast. I shoved my mirror back in my bag and turned back to face the fire front on, wrapping my cape tighter around myself and hoping he wouldn't say anything more.

And surprisingly, he didn't.

I was mentally scolding myself for entertaining such thoughts. I really didn't want to start opening admitting to myself that I found him incredibly attractive because I knew if I willingly dwelled on it once, I wouldn't be able to stop.

Once I'd calmed down I closed my eyes as I bathed in the warmth of the fire. It was so comfortable here, even though I knew Kazama was watching me. I was right in front of the flames where it was the warmest and the heat was enveloping every inch of my body.

Kazama interrupted my thoughts once again. 'You should change back and get some sleep, Chizuru. We will be leaving early tomorrow, as always.' He instructed.

I let out a sigh. I enjoyed being in this form even if it attracted unwanted attention from a certain red eyed oni. I wasn't sure if I was ready to change back yet. 'What happens if you fall asleep in your oni form?' I asked, lifting my rosey eyes to peer at him. The fire decorated his skin with orange light and flickering shadows. 'Nothing happens. But if someone walks by and finds us then they will see you.' He said. I sighed. I wasn't sure why someone would be trudging through a forest in the dead of night but I supposed it was possible.

'Do you not want to change back?' He questioned. I blushed, feeling self-conscious as I felt his eyes scouring me. 'I..I kind of like it.' I murmured. He chuckled. 'You can assume this form again tomorrow when we practice again.' He promised, but I was still a little disheartened when I thought about changing back. I liked having all these stronger senses. I liked being able to see the threads of my cape, smell the dirt and nature around me and I liked listening to their heartbeats too. It should have resulted in a sensory overload but my brain somehow managed to cope. It was truly incredible.

Kazama appeared on my futon beside me and his smell washed over my body from the speed of his movement. I flinched as he turned my face to look at him. 'If you don't wish to change back or sleep, then let me admire you, Chizuru.' He purred. I frowned at him, trying to act mad that he had his hands on me but my resolve was dissolving by the second. His touch was divine, especially on my new, sensitive skin.

He pretended like he didn't see the irritation in my gaze and he raised the other hand to slide over my cheek. His touch was so warm and just as soothing as the fire, if not moreso. I tried to open my mouth to protest, to tell him to stop but I just couldn't. Every part of me was begging for me to give in, to let him caress me how he wanted, and I kicked myself for realising that I desired it. I wanted him to touch me.

His soft fingers slid up my jaw and over my ears. I couldn't look him in the eye because I was embarrassed that I was giving in to him and I was scared at what expression would be on his face. So I kept my eyes downcast, even as his fingertips caused sparks of pleasure to course down my body.

My ears were particularly sensitive. As he traced their tips with his finger, I shifted a little on the futon. He pushed my hair back behind them so he could see them better, resuming his soft ministrations. He seemed to know exactly what parts of me would be most receptive to his massaging and he made sure he exploited every single one. He trailed his fingertips back down the side of my face, leaving my ears and coming to my cheeks. With his thumbs he gently stroked the soft skin under my eyes, what he normally did once I'd finished crying, but I realised it felt good like this too.

He left no inch of my face untouched like he was burning into memory the curves and dips of my skin. My eyes were half closed now and my heart was beating slower but my cheeks were still pink from the embarrassment of having him touch me like this. I had to admit it was absurdly soothing. I knew if he kept on doing it then I would go to sleep. I could already feel fatigue trying to coax my eyelids shut, and in that moment I thought maybe it wouldn't have been too bad to let him entice me to sleep. He was so warm and gentle that it was becoming inevitable anyway.

However, before I could be swept away by my dreams, I felt a strange vibration in my throat.

I instantly shot to my knees and clutched my neck, staring wide eyed at him as the sensation continued. Amagiri jumped a little as I jerked and Shiranui turned to behold me with stunned eyes at the suddenness of my movement. But Kazama..

He just grinned.

I regarded him with a hurt look as he found enjoyment in my confusion and terror. 'Kazama-san…' I choked, the vibration stopping while I spoke but resuming immediately after I'd closed my mouth. I could feel tears of fear burning behind my eyes.

When he saw how scared I was, he reached out to take my hands off my throat. 'Calm down.' He said, a grin still plastered on his face. He stroked my neck a little with his thumbs which only made the vibration stronger and I instantly pushed him away from me. I sent him an admonishing look. 'What's going on?' I whimpered, my hands automatically wrapping around my throat again. He sighed. 'You're just purring, Chizuru.' He almost laughed. I gave him a furious look as I saw how much pleasure he gained from my fright. 'Don't joke.' I warned, my voice breaking. The vibration was only getting more intense the longer he touched me for. He sighed, chuckling as he noticed I was being serious. 'I should have warned you about it. I didn't know it would happen so soon after you'd changed.' He said, biting his lip to try and contain his snicker. I glared at him contemptuously but didn't say anything. I didn't know if he was being serious or not.

Either way, the 'purring' continued.

He chuckled as he remarked the horror on my face wasn't retreating. 'Sit back down.' He ordered. I sat back down properly on my futon and tried to take a deep breath but it only made the sensation worse. I made a small sound of fear and screwed my eyes shut, gritting my teeth and praying for it to stop. Purring or not, the sheer unexpectedness of it petrified me. I clutched my neck tighter to quench the vibration but it did nothing.

Kazama sighed. 'Onis purr when they're content. Normally we can control it somewhat but because this is only the second time you've been in your oni form, it will be harder for you to control. But it's normal. Don't look so troubled.' He said. He'd managed to erase the majority of his pleasure but I could still see some dancing in his eyes and he finally persuaded me to drop my hands.

I sat there for a minute with him beside me, trying to acclimatise to the feeling. It wasn't painful but it kind of tickled. It send tiny vibrations though my neck and chest. When I concentrated, I could hear it really did sound like purring. Exactly like a cat.

I flinched when a warm hand came to tilt my head up. 'It sounds sweet.' He teased, his lips quivering madly as he tried desperately to mask his mirth. I reached up and tore his hands off me, flipping my hood over my head. 'It's not… funny.' I growled, the purring resuming after I'd finished talking. He just chuckled, the closest to laughing I'd ever seen him. 'Come now, kitten. I know I should have told you about it but I assure you it's nothing to be frightened about.' He said.

His words might have soothed me if he hadn't have called me that.

When he saw the level of rage in my eyes, he bit his lip again to contain himself. I was so angry I couldn't even chastise him for it but it was him that spoke first anyway. 'I'm honoured that you seemed to enjoy my touch that much. Even in your shock you still can't stop purring.' He noted, chuckling as my eyes got even more incensed.

He pulled me a little closer to him and slid his hands back over my cheeks. 'Let me continue.' He requested, but there was no way that was going to happen. I moved away to the edge of my futon. 'No. I'm changing back.' I snapped, turning my back to him and closing my eyes in preparation for meditation. He sighed, dissatisfied. 'That's a pity. You were being such a good girl for me before. I hadn't finished touching you, Chizuru, and I know you didn't want me to stop.'

He tried half-heartedly to persuade me but he was definitely not going about it the right way. I screwed up my face. 'I _said_ I'm changing back now.' I grumbled, infuriated that the purring seemed to have gotten more intense when he'd touched my cheeks.

He sighed again, heavier this time, but he could see there was no changing my mind.

After I'd calmed down, I slipped into my own head. Once again I could see the golden light pulsing in my skin, keeping me in my oni form and giving me the new power I could feel in my bones. I was hesitant to remove it because I wanted to stay as I was, but I also wanted to stop purring and for Kazama to leave me alone. Of course, he was still irritatingly persistent in my human form too but much less so. My oni form really did chip away at his self-control.

I plucked the gold tendril of energy from my skin and felt the heat in my blood retreat. My horns sunk back into my forehead, I felt my hair become drier and heavier, and the glow fade from my skin.

When I opened my eyes I was back to being human-looking.

The stark difference I noticed in my senses was even worse than I remembered and I let out an even more disenchanted sigh. My human sight really was so plain as were the rest of my senses. All I could smell now was the smoke from the fire and I could no longer hear any heartbeats.

I slumped my shoulders, pouting briefly in disappointment, before I remembered why exactly I'd changed back. Thankfully, the purring had stopped.

When I turned back around I realised his eyes hadn't left me. I frowned at his supercilious expression. 'I'm going to bed.' I announced dryly, wasting no time in getting to my feet. He chuckled. 'Would you like me to join you? I could probably make you purr even in this form too, Chizu…'

'No!' I snapped, shaking my head as I dragged my futon a bit further away from the fire so I wouldn't roast in my sleep.

My cheeks were sizzling as I kicked off my boots and got into bed, facing the opposite way to the 3 men so they couldn't see my red face. I didn't understand what went through his head sometimes. He always knew what to say to really get under my skin and he truly had no filter. It was a wonder how he could say such suggestive comments without missing a beat and it was irritating how they made me feel. A mixture of embarrassment and temptation.

I reflected on the events of the night. As soon as I remembered the telepathy I felt some of my humiliation and anger fade away. I couldn't wait to try it again even if I had to endure Kazama's teasing whilst in my oni form. It had been amazing, an experience unlike any other I'd had. But I couldn't help but think about what I'd felt there in his head. Such darkness and torment… I wondered what it had been caused by and why his mind seemed so broken. I'd never, ever suspected he could be like that deep down. In fact, I hadn't even known that being inside his mind would allow me to feel that. Something told me it hadn't meant to be seen, but he hadn't been able to hide all of it.

All I knew is that it made me feel sad.

I sighed, pulling the blankets up higher. I knew if I kept on dwelling on it then I really wouldn't be able to sleep, so I closed my eyes.

Sleep was nowhere near ready to come to me but I just lay there until it was.

* * *

 **Ending note**

Ok another really long chapter :D You guys must be raking up quite the hours reading my story but hopefully it hasn't been a complete waste of time haha. Let me know what you think with a review !


	24. A thousand times over

I'm really sorry this chapter took so long! I've been travelling interstate visiting family and Uni's kicked up a notch so I was very busy!

 **Gembokkuunci47** \- Thank you :D Kazama really is a tease haha and that's why I LOVE writing his character. Yes it will be no less than 45 chapters so get prepared for the exciting events I have lined up haha

 **Manu** \- I LOVE HIM TOO! Every time I write a cute scene I wish I was in her place as well haha. Thanks for reading :)

 **Oshiet** \- I know right! I bought Chikage's route for the game and I wished they had have made it longer. There was no much potential for us to get to know him better through the route since the anime mainly focuses on the Shinsengumi and their characters. And I'm so happy you think my writing would be popular, maybe I will work on another story to be made available to the public…. If that ever happens I'll credit you as the person who encouraged me haha :D I'm glad you like what I've written so far, including the purring scene, and how I describe the things I write. I hope you enjoy this new chapter as well :D

 **RoxyandherProxy** \- AWWW 3 thank you so much for such a nice review! Just out of curiosity, how long did it take you to read all 23 chapters in total? I hope you like this new chapter :D

 **Rei Eien-** Yeah I thought Chikage was a bit too arrogant until I watched the movies; it was then that I started to ship him with Chizuru because I hadn't really gotten into her with Hijikata. I agree with you totally when you say that they were kind of filling in for the loss of her father, and I also think it's a bit of Stockholm Syndrome too in a way. The Shinsengumi guys are really good characters but I mean… they kidnapped her haha :D Anyway, the purring scene was so fun to write. Please continue to read and review; I really appreciate it :D

 **Guest 3446** \- Haha sorry, I've been travelling and had so much uni work to do so that's why this chapter took so long! Unfortunately I haven't written the future chapters yet, only planned them so I can't post them all at once. I have a table in a word document where I write a summary of the future chapters, what they're going to have in them and also their chapter title and I've done that for about 45 chapters so far. Also in regards to your questions, I often shuffle the chapters around when I plan them so I can't say exactly how many chapters away all those things are but I can assure you that you'll find out soon enough :D the answer to one of your questions may even be in this very chapter….. :o *gasp*. Thanks for reviewing :D

 **MissMinnie08** \- Thanks so much for your review (extra thanks because you don't do them often haha) :D. I am happy to hear you like the way I write and the pace that I've set for the story. I try to get the pacing and characters right but of course there's some OOC-ness where I feel is necessary haha. Also thanks for your feedback on paragraphs; I looked back on some chapters and I could see what you were talking about! I will try to break up my paragraphs a little more so they're smaller, unless I feel a long paragraph is needed :D Thank you and I hope you enjoy this new chapter!

 **Aonami96** \- Thank you! I'm sooooo happy that you like my story that much haha :D It makes me so happy when you guys say such nice things! And I'm sorry for keeping you waiting for the next chapter, I think this is the longest it's been so far between postings :O Hopefully this new chapter will keep you sated until the next one :D

 **TO EVERYONE, YES THAT MEANS YOU** \- I just want to thank everyone for reading my story, favouriting it, reviewing it and following it as well. Thanks in particular for all the lovely reviews, they really do make my day. I was lying in bed the other night and got a really kind review at 1am and I got straight out of bed and started writing again haha. That's also the reason it's 5.30am right now and I'm posting this story! It really does make it so much easier to write when you know people appreciate what you create. I hope you continue to get as much enjoyment out of reading my work as I do writing it! Ok mushy rant over :D back to the fun stuff

* * *

 **A thousand times over**

I awoke as per usual to Amagiri's soft shaking.

'Chizuru, it's time to get up. ' He said quietly, being respectful of the fact I was still half asleep and barely responsive. When I opened my eyes I saw the soft blush of sunrise on the horizon and I suppressed a groan. It never got easier waking up this early. Even after 2 months of travel I still felt braindead every time they woke me at dawn.

I mumbled a response that probably didn't consist of real words and dragged myself unwillingly from the warmth of my futon. Kazama and Shiranui were already properly dressed and wandering around the campsite like they always were when I got up. Amagiri had already moved over to the coals of last night's fire and stamped out the ones that had survived the night, kicking dirt back over the pit to fill it in. They did this every morning, another one of their routines.

Once I'd finished watching them I rolled up my futon and dragged myself up off the cold grass. I swung my cape over my shoulders and tied it up before taking my bag and futon over to strap to Yuki's saddle. I gave her a good morning pat. 'Hey girl.' I sighed, lazily enjoying the heat of her side on my palms. She appeared utterly unfazed by the cold despite the fact she slept without any blankets every night. She shook her mane a little as I pat her and I gave her a half smile, my eyes flicking to where her wound had been. I was sure my parents would be proud of how I'd used my powers. I wondered what I would have been capable of doing if I had have been raised in my village like a normal oni girl. I may have been as powerful as my father.

Kazama came over to rummage around in his bag, his warmth radiating onto me even though there was a metre between us. I turned to look up at him tiredly, noticing he was wearing the same stony expression he always was this early in the morning. Even though he must have only gotten out of bed not too long ago he still appeared awake and alert; in other words, the complete opposite of me.

He flicked his eyes to my face when he noticed I was staring but didn't say anything. I blushed and looked down hurriedly, embarrassed that once again he'd caught me gazing at him. Unfortunately it was kind of hard not to.

'Here.'

When I looked back at him he was holding out an apple for me to take. 'Maybe this might wake up my sleepy bride.' He said, a twinge of mirth in his eyes even though his face remained neutral. I took it from him without giving him the usual unenthused look. 'Thanks.' I mumbled, instantly biting into it as I one-handedly fished out my toiletries. He turned back to flick his bag shut and walked off, leaving me to gather what I needed to get ready.

Once I had everything I walked off into the forest and trudged through the bushes.

Now that I was a little bit more awake, the events of last night hit me hard. So many embarrassing things had happened, like me purring for one, but I was still amazed at how Kazama and I had talked telepathically. I couldn't quite wrap my head around it and I already couldn't wait for when we could try once more. Would I really have to be in my oni form or could I try like this? I didn't mind either way as long as I got to do it again.

Once I'd relieved myself and brushed my teeth, I sat down under a tree to brush my hair. It always got matted at night when I slept and it didn't help that I often tossed and turned too. I'd been a restless sleeper since I could remember. Kodo used to prepare special herbal teas for me to drink before bed to calm me down because it would normally take me hours to fall asleep.

When I was done I picked up my things and returned to the campsite.

The sky was finally lighting up a bit more. It was the beginning of summer now so the mornings were getting even more pleasant but they still carried with them the cold of night. This morning wasn't too bad but even summer mornings felt cold when you'd been torn from the comforting warmth of a soft bed.

Kazama was adjusting the saddle when I got back. He looked just like a prince preparing his horse and as soon as that thought passed through my head he mounted Yuki and waited patiently for me to approach him. I quickly shoved my things into my saddlebag and watched out of the corner of my eye as Shiranui and Amagiri mounted as well. Shiranui was patting Kuri enthusiastically. I was pretty sure he liked the horses as I often caught him feeding apples to all three of them, trying his best to hide the act from Kazama but I presumed he already knew. There was not a lot of things anyone could hide from the man in front of me.

Kazama reached out his hand for me to take and I did so without hesitation, letting him haul me up behind him. No longer embarrassed by being on a horse with him I adjusted myself in the seat and let my body ease closer to his. He was burning up, as usual, but the warmth was more than welcome. His body heat for the past few months had helped me survive the brutal chill of galloping at high speeds and it also dampened the effect of the crisp morning air. I didn't know why he was always so hot but I wasn't complaining.

When we were all seated on our horses and comfortable, Kazama urged Yuki into a walk. She did so obediently and we continued through the forest in order to rejoin the path we'd left last night.

I sighed and flicked the hood over my hair to protect the back of my neck from the cold. No one really spoke in the mornings which I didn't mind because I would have been unable to maintain an intelligent conversation anyway. Shiranui was idly watching the trees sway in the wind, Amagiri had his eyes fixed on nothing in particular. When I looked up at the back of Kazama's head he was facing dead straight.

We came to the path a few minutes later and Kazama spoke as soon as all 4 of Yuki's hooves were on the dirt. 'Chizuru.' He said. He didn't say anything else but I already knew what he meant anyway. I wrapped my arms around his torso and shifted closer to him, pressing my chest against his back. His warmth immediately seeped through to me, causing to me sigh inwardly with relief.

'Let's go.' He said to the others. They nodded in response to his demand.

When he kicked Yuki's sides, I gripped onto him tighter.

Bit by bit we gained speed until we were at full gallop. The jolt from her movement used to be painful but now it was somewhat soothing and the speed had stopped bothering me too. The wind was cold going so fast but I was like a sponge to Kazama's warmth. It leaked through my clothes to my skin and heated me from head to toe.

I pressed my cheek to his back and watched the world stream past us in a blur of colour.

* * *

By the time we'd started to slow down everyone was wide awake.

I let go of Kazama as we slowly approached a creek where the horses could drink. I was also looking forward to a break because we'd been riding for hours and I was beginning to get hungry. The morning had been largely uneventful with no other travellers on the road as the path we'd chosen to go on went through the forest and avoided the main trade routes. Of course we sometimes saw the odd person here and there, mainly farmers moving their cattle or people visiting the neighbouring villages, but it was probably a good thing these roads were rarely used because we always got suspicious looks from those passing. These clothes were both a curse and a blessing.

Kazama got off Yuki once she'd stopped near the creek. The warning look I gave him silenced his offer to help me down and he smirked, knowing anyway that I would have refused it. I dismounted as he pulled out my flask from my bag and walked over to the creek to fill it up, something that he'd done ever since the first week of our travel.

I yawned as I walked over to a tree beside Shiranui and sat down with my lunch.

As I ate it thought of the Shinsengumi. Lunch time was always boisterous back at headquarters, with men fighting left, right and centre for food. It didn't matter how much I cooked there would always be a fight, especially between Shinpachi and Heisuke. The others would usually watch and laugh, myself included, except for Hijikata who would glare at everyone in turn with a condemning scowl on his face. Even though he put up a stern front something told me he found it amusing as well. As long as no one tried to go for his own food, that was.

Shiranui caught my attention when he put his hands behind his head and leaned back against a tree. 'What are you going to cook us for dinner tonight, Chizuru?' He asked. I noted that he called me neither Chizuru-sama or Chizuru-chan but I didn't mind. It would have sounded weird for either of those to come from Shiranui's mouth and I supposed he didn't use honorifics for the same reason he didn't for the other two.

I shrugged. 'I'm not sure. We still have plenty of vegetables left so it will be something nice, I hope.' I mused, almost to myself as I ran through the mental list of the food that remained in our bags. I knew we had an adequate amount of rations left and the next village was only a day away so we could afford to be a little greedy tonight.

Shiranui seemed pleased. 'Well, the vegetable stew with rice that you made last week was reasonably satisfying. You should cook that.' He said pertly, looking at me in the way that Okita used to. I smiled, glad that he'd seemed to like it that much. It was the first time any of them had made a dinner request but I took it as a compliment that he had enjoyed one of my meals enough to ask for it again.

But before I could answer, Kazama interrupted. 'Don't order my wife around.' He said rather impersonally as he marched over to me from the creek. I took my flask from him with a frown on my face as he gave it to me. How could he say that when he ordered me around all the time? He was so hypocritical sometimes.

I sighed. 'Vegetable stew sounds good.' I said, ignoring the disapproving regard I got from Kazama as he sat down a few metres in front of me. In addition to how I was comfortable being in close proximity to him, the fact I could say things like that proved he longer scared me. I would never have been able to talk back like that a few months ago but I'd decided Kazama was more than deserving of a little sass sometimes. After all, I had to endure it from him on a daily basis.

Shiranui appeared amused by our exchange and chuckled a bit before Kazama shifted his condemning gaze in his direction. He made no attempt to wipe the grin off his face and gave me an exaggerated eye-roll most definitely intended for Kazama's viewing instead of mine, reassuming his restful pose against the tree.

When I turned back to gauge Kazama's reaction he appeared unimpressed. 'It appears you no longer need to be drunk in order to talk to me so impudently.' He said, raising an eyebrow. My blush immediately darkened as he brought up the night where I'd met Lily. I hadn't intended to get drunk and I _still_ had no clue what I'd done. He continued when I didn't answer. 'Of course you're still completely unaware of how you spoke to me that night anyway. That's what you get for drinking irresponsibly.' He said, reminding me that I'd gotten so drunk I'd lost my memory. I sighed as I realised he was probably going to bring up something embarrassing but I didn't speak. He knew I had no memories and he relished in the fact I couldn't remember anything. It was like he lived to tease me.

His expression immediately shifted from displeased to sardonic when he realised I wasn't going to reply. 'I guess now that we have started to practice your telepathy, the option is there for me to give you _my_ memories. If you want them, of course.'

I snapped my eyes up to look at him, unsure what to say. Did I want them? Would I want to know? At least then I wouldn't be stuck wondering whether or not everything he'd said was true or not.

I narrowed my eyes as I saw his facial expression. 'I'm guessing you'd want something from me then.' I deadpanned, and his subsequent smirk was proof of that, although it quickly faded which surprised me. 'Indeed.' He said, starting to pick at the grass in front of him. He seemed unaware he was doing it. 'I will give you the memories of that night if you wish. But in exchange you must show me the memories of when you resurrected that man, the one who gave you that bracelet.'

I was slightly stunned that he seemed so curious about it. Right from the start he'd expressed an interest in the piece of jewellery around my wrist, sometimes asking me questions here and there. He'd even taken it off my wrist and cleaned the blood off it when I'd been hit with the arrow. I frowned at him. 'I thought you said you didn't believe me?' I accused. He looked up at me and tilted his head to the side, an action which I found strangely endearing, and then he shrugged. 'Maybe I still don't. This is your opportunity to prove it, however.'

I eyed him suspiciously as I considered his proposal.

I really did want to know what happened that night but I needed to consider whether it would do more harm than good showing him my memories. I knew without doubt that I had brought that man back to life, but what would Kazama do if I proved it to him? Would he become even more obsessed with trying to make me his wife, knowing that I had such power? Not only that but showing Kazama the truth would most likely be going against what my father tried so hard to do; keep my ability a secret. If too many people knew about it then I presumed it would only create problems for me.

When I'd made up my mind, I sighed. 'Fine. But you have to promise me something.' I said, sealing off my bag of apricots and placing them to the side. He raised an eyebrow and leaned back against a tree. 'And what would that be?' He inquired curiously. I could tell he wasn't used to me proposing the deals. It wasn't every day that I had something that he wanted, save for my hand in marriage. I swallowed. 'You have to promise not to tell anyone else unless I give permission. My father didn't want anyone knowing about it in order to protect me. It was supposed to be a secret.' I murmured.

He seemed pensive as he thought about my request. 'Very well.'

Once he'd accepted my condition, I was left wondering why he appeared so eager to know. If he really was 79 years old then it was likely he at least knew the man I'd saved and at the very least, he would be capable of finding out. I already knew he wasn't from my village, he wasn't a relative and he had bright features but whenever I tried to picture his face all I saw was a blur. I must have been important to him and I already knew he'd been important to me, even if I didn't know why. I was dying to know who that man was and why he'd given me the bracelet but some part of me was afraid. What if I found out he was dead? What if he wasn't interested in seeing me?

Suddenly Kazama got up off the grass and gestured for me to rise. 'Come on, let's go.' He said, as if he knew I was going to start questioning him. He moved over to the horses standing indolently by the water and coaxed Yuki away from the grass.

I watched him with mild scepticism as I pulled myself off the ground and made my way over to him. Kazama had a remarkable ability to know when I was about to ask him an unfavourable question and therefore he knew when to cut a conversation short. It was not only irritating but incredibly suspicious too.

The other two men got up as well, Shiranui slightly more disappointed that our break had been shortened. He was still chewing his apple as he mounted his horse.

Kazama turned to regard me with a blank face. 'Get up. You're riding.' He ordered, holding her reins loosely. My suspicion immediately evaporated and I didn't need to be told twice. I put my foot into the stirrup and hauled myself up, considerably less gracefully than Kazama always did. I grunted as I floundered in the saddle briefly before I managed to stabilise myself, instantly reaching into my saddlebag to pull out my riding gloves. After I'd shifted forward Kazama elegantly hauled himself up to sit behind me. It never got less exhilarating with him behind me, his voice in my ear and his warmth on my back. His effect on my body both disturbed and intrigued me.

When Shiranui and Amagiri were on their own horses he ordered me to take the reins and lead Yuki back to the path. I followed his instructions and soon enough we were back on the dirt path heading north.

I suspected that Kazama had so abruptly interrupted our lunch break because he knew I was going to ask something about the bracelet or about the man I saved. He'd seemed pretty determined to persuade me to show him my memories of that occasion even though he'd claimed that he didn't believe me. Was it really that unbelievable that a 7 year old could do something like that? I hadn't exactly been taught what was normal and not normal in regards to the amount of power onis had and how early they could use it. Kazama had said that my first transformation should have been at 15 years old and that I shouldn't have even been able to use my clan power without being taught.

But even though I had all this power, there was still the issue of my lack of sword skills. I was yet to ask him if he would be willing to teach me. If I was learning how to use my powers then why couldn't I learn how to use a sword as well? After all, I couldn't use my oni abilities for self-defence and doing so would only get me in trouble with Kazama. At least if he taught me swordsmanship then I wouldn't have to hear him complaining about having to rescue me all the time because I'd be able to defend myself.

Before I could ask him to teach me, however, Kazama spoke. 'We will arrive at the next village tomorrow. However, we will be staying for two days instead of one.' He announced.

I was slightly confused. We'd never stayed more than overnight at any villages we'd been to.

I frowned. 'Why?' I asked inquisitively. I flinched as he trailed a warm hand over my neck. 'Do I need a reason?' He asked coolly, to which the immediate answer in my head was _yes_. Kazama never did anything unnecessary and staying for two days would prolong the journey. Although I supposed it would be nice to stay in a village for a bit longer, especially because my birthday was in two days. I hadn't told any of them because I didn't want to make a big deal out of it.

I had to admit I was a little sad though that this time I wouldn't be able to celebrate it with the Shinsengumi. Every year they would go out of their way to make my birthday as enjoyable as possible for me. Heisuke and Harada would attempt to cook dinner with varying levels of success and Okita would make it his personal mission to humiliate me as much as possible with pranks and jokes at my expense. When we sat down to eat the evening meal together they would surprise me with presents, either things they bought or items they'd made. Shinpachi had made me a thumb-sized wooden doll 2 years ago that he'd carved and painted himself. Saito bought me a sword cleaning kit one year and taught me how to take care of my kodachi, probably because it had pained him to see how little I'd cleaned it. I knew the kit he'd bought hadn't been cheap either. Kazama may have been right when he said they'd only kept me alive for information but that was only at the start and I knew without a doubt that they cared for me now. He'd never be able to understand the bond I had with those men and I knew it was futile trying to explain it to him. How such a relationship could exist between an oni and a group of human men was something he'd never be able to comprehend.

As if he knew I was thinking of him, he spoke again. 'There will be a festival at the village on the second day of our visit. If you wish to attend it then I'll permit us to stay until it's over.' He said suddenly, interrupting my thoughts. I turned around to face him and he was already looking at me. His scent filled my nose and I had to gather my wits before I spoke. 'A festival? For what?' I inquired. He raised to slide a hand over my face to brush some hair from my eyes. I went bright red as he answered. 'To celebrate the beginning of summer.' He said simply.

I was surprised that Kazama was allowing us to rest for a bit and not forcing us to move on. He probably wasn't doing it out of charity but it was appreciated nonetheless. It would be nice to attend a festival after 2 months of endless travel and I was eager for a long, warm bath at the inn. We'd travelled through quite the number of villages but the majority of them we'd only bought supplies at and left. We'd only stayed overnight in a few of them, arriving at dusk and leaving at dawn. I was excited to finally get some well-needed rest and a festival sounded nice.

I thought back to the first village we'd visited, where I'd almost gotten punched by a ronin. That was a perfect example of how I needed to be able to defend myself. There was no point in having a kodachi if I didn't know how to use it very well. At the moment I could probably fend off a normal citizen but definitely not a soldier or a rasetsu which were unfortunately the ones I came across the most.

I realised even more now that I wanted Kazama to train me in swordsmanship. It would probably be a painful experience due to his impatience and his authoritative personality but everything he'd taught me so far I'd learned relatively quickly. He may have had an indifferent attitude to teaching but I couldn't deny he was good at it.

I drew in a small breath as I mustered up the courage to speak. 'Kazama-san…?'

He immediately sighed behind me. 'What? He asked. He sounded uninterested but I presumed his bored tone served to conceal how much he actually enjoyed answering my questions. I swallowed. 'I was just wondering if maybe you… you would consider teaching me swordsmanship?' I murmured, feeling my cheeks grow hot as I anticipated his response.

I went silent then and even Amagiri and Shiranui had turned slightly to see Kazama's reaction.

He didn't even listen to my reasoning before he gave an answer.

'No.'

I twisted around to look at him with a frown and his ruby eyes met mine. 'Why not?' I asked, more disappointed than I thought I would be at his refusal. His lips twisted and his expression grew even more severe. 'Because I know exactly what will happen if I do. You'll become even more reckless and get yourself into trouble by believing you're capable of defending yourself when you aren't and I'll be the one inconvenienced by having to save you.' He said blandly, ignoring the injured look on my face.

I couldn't deny I was dissatisfied. I hadn't expected him to refuse so immediately and he hadn't even given me a chance to explain why I wanted to improve my skills or why I believed it was important. At the moment it was everyone else who was saving me so it was _less_ likely he'd have to intervene if I could fight like he could.

I sighed. 'Well I'll never be able to defend myself if I don't learn. And seeing as though I won't be able to use my oni powers in self-defence, I only have my sword.' I argued, looking up at him indignantly. He appeared unmoved by the expression on my face. 'The fact still remains that you'll overestimate your ability and end up engaging in fights you can't win. Focus on learning your oni powers before anything else. Swordsmanship is unnecessary when I am here to protect you anyway.'

I turned back around when I recognised the look in his eye. That was the look that told me he wouldn't budge no matter what I said, no matter how right I was.

I didn't want to spend the rest of this journey incapable of doing anything to protect myself. With the amount of rogue soldiers, bandits, rasetsu and ronin around it was more than warranted for me to improve my sword skills. After this journey was over I would no longer be in his care anyway so it wouldn't matter how capable he was of protecting me. Regardless of his reasoning, it was feasible for me to learn self-defence.

It was evident that he wasn't going to be persuaded, but there was one thing I could still try. Something that he himself had promised would give me anything I wanted. I felt marginally guilty for what I was about to do, especially because he'd already said he didn't want to teach me, but I knew what I wanted.

I closed my eyes as I gathered my courage, gripping the reins tighter. 'Uh…' I murmured, biting my lip. I felt everyone turn their attention to me without actually moving. I fought the blush that was trying to enter my cheeks.

I swallowed hard. 'Will you please teach me how to use a sword…Chi…?'

I went even redder as Shiranui and Amagiri turned around to face me with giant eyes. I could see on their faces that they hadn't believed I would do it, at least not so soon; not even I'd thought myself capable of attempting to call Kazama by his first name.

He went rigid behind me.

I licked my dry lips and took in another cautious breath. 'Chi… Chikage.'

I let out a small sigh of relief as I finally managed to force it out. His name tasted so delicious as it fell from my lips but I was much too humiliated to focus on anything but the fact I'd actually said it. Calling him Chikage sounded much too intimate and I definitely wouldn't have been able to call him that when we'd first started the journey.

His fingers appeared in my field of vision and grasped my chin. His fingers rested softly on my chin and I tried to ignore the impassioned expression on his face as he made me look at him. His voice gave me goosebumps when he spoke.

'Say it again.'

I swallowed, lowering my eyes. It had been hard enough saying it once and I definitely couldn't look him in the eye. My face was on fire as I repeated the word that was so strangely pleasurable to say.

'Ch… Chikage…' I managed to stammer.

He instantly let my face go and I was surprised when he sighed heavily. 'This could be a problem.' He said, shaking his head a little. I looked away from him in embarrassment as he raised his eyes to regard me. 'I have no doubt you could make me do whatever you wanted by saying my name like that. I may come to regret giving such power to you but hearing my name come from your mouth is most worth it. But very well. Even though you so selfishly asked me to do something I originally refused to, a promise is a promise.'

I couldn't look at him anymore, not after saying his name, but I was undeniably delighted that he'd agreed. I knew when my embarrassment faded I would be ecstatic to start and I hoped I would learn fast like I was doing with my oni powers.

Before I could get too excited, however, he suddenly tugged my head back to rest on his shoulder and he pressed his agonisingly soft lips to my ear. 'But as punishment for such a greedy request, I'm not going to go easy on you.' He purred. I gasped as the sound of his husky voice travelled down my body and turned my limbs to mush. There was something about it that made me lose my mind and when I spun around to glare at him, I could see he knew it too.

He chuckled at the expression on my face. 'We will begin training soon.' He said, ignoring my glare. 'Maybe I might schedule your lessons for before sunrise just to chastise you for abusing the gift I gave you. I'm sure you would enjoy that considering you're so lively when you wake up.' He chortled, reaching out to pull me back into the saddle because I'd almost wrenched myself out of it in an effort to get away from the sound of his voice.

I really, really hoped he wouldn't but I could see in his eyes that he seemed to be considering it seriously. He grinned when he saw the twinge of panic cross my face. 'What's the matter, kitten?' He teased. My anxiety was automatically replaced with humiliation and I went red. 'Don't call me that.' I mumbled, being reminded of how I'd purred last night. It had felt odd but not uncomfortable. I presumed it would take some getting used to but I hoped I never purred again in his presence or I would never hear the end of it. It was bad enough that it had started because he'd been touching me. I could only imagine how much that had fed his ego.

He chuckled and he raised a hand to glide over my chin. 'If I didn't know any better, I would think that you _liked_ the way I caressed you last night. You're not beginning to submit to me are you?' He taunted, reaching for my ear with graceful fingers. I pushed his hand away before he made contact with it and scowled. 'No...' I grumbled, pulling my hood over my head and facing the front so he didn't have access to any bare skin. He chuckled again. 'You _will_ submit to me one day, Chizuru, and you'll enjoy it too. I'll make sure of that.' He purred, skimming his fingers over my shoulder blades.

I cringed at his words, cursing myself for being affected by them. It never got less mortifying hearing him talk about such suggestive things but it was becoming more and more difficult to tell myself that I found them distasteful. I was beginning to think something was wrong with me.

When I'd calmed down from his comment, Kazama spoke again. 'That aside, if you truly desire that I teach you how to use your sword then know that I won't show you mercy. We will start after we leave the village and will continue training until I feel you would be able to adequately defend yourself. And judging by how inept your sword skills are at the moment, our lessons may just continue right up until we reach Ezo.' He said. I resisted the urge to sigh at his subtle insult, but he was right after all.

I nodded and he spoke no more.

I had no doubt he would be a brutal instructor and I would probably wish on multiple occasions that I'd never asked him to teach me, but for the moment I was content. I was learning about my oni powers and I was also about to start instruction in swordsmanship. It seemed I was getting a lot more out of this trip than I ever thought I would. I'd never even imagined that I would be using my powers on this journey and even more unlikely in my head was that Kazama would be the one to teach me.

But it was happening, and the truth was I was grateful for it.

I shifted nervously in the saddle. 'Thank you, Kazama-san.' I murmured, going red as I felt his eyes shift to bore into the back of my head.

I fiddled with the reins as I tried to assess whether he was going to respond or not but I didn't mind either way. As long as he knew I was appreciative then I didn't mind if he chose not to say anything and in fact I'd realised he often didn't. Not because he hadn't heard or he didn't care but… just that he understood words weren't necessary.

But on this occasion, he did respond. 'Your gratitude is appreciated but unnecessary. You will repay me a thousand times over in the years of our marriage with just your simple company, Chizuru. How lucky I will be to have such an entertaining and doting wife by my side.' He said, chuckling as he saw me tense up.

My cheeks sizzled as I processed what he'd said. I never knew what to say to things like that but I probably didn't need to give a response anyway. It was unusual though that he hadn't thrown in something provocative and had instead chosen to talk about company, about spending his years with someone beside him. I couldn't imagine being 79 without a family of my own as I'd always wanted to get married and have children.

Did he look at me and think I could make him happy?

I went even redder. He'd told me hundreds of times that I was the only woman for him and the only one he wanted. I used to think that's because I was a pureblood but now that I'd spent more time with him I really did believe he wanted a family, that he wanted someone by his side for the same reasons I did. Someone to come home to every night, someone to confide in and trust and maybe he believed I was the one who could give him that. Now that he'd laid to rest my fears that he only wanted me for breeding, the reason why I fought so hard not to let my guard down was no longer because I was afraid of being his broodmare. There was no more uncertainty about his motives, no more fear of him. In fact, my hesitation to let him get to me didn't even have anything to do with him anymore.

The only thing between Kazama and I was Hijikata.

I realised _that's_ why I couldn't let my guard down. If I allowed the walls around my heart to crumble then I probably _would_ fall in love with Kazama, no matter how many times in the past I'd told myself how impossible that was. Despite his flaws he wasn't evil nor was he a bad person. He had so many good qualities to make up for the bad and in fact that's what made him so much like Hijikata. And if I ended up falling in love with both men then…

All I knew was that choosing between them would be one of the hardest decisions I would ever have to make.

I snapped myself from my thoughts as I began to get too shaken up. I didn't have to worry about this yet. I was not at that stage and I was willing to do anything to ensure it never came to that. I couldn't fall in love with Kazama; not because I wasincapableof it but because I didn't _want_ to. I was already in love with Hijikata and I didn't want to be one day faced with the dilemma of choosing between them. I didn't need that heartbreak, and not even I could predict who I would choose.

An oni like me, or a human?

Kazama and I didn't speak for a long time after that. We sat in a comfortable, amicable silence as the afternoon heat faded from the air.

When we finally switched positions, he didn't hesitate in bringing Yuki to a gallop. I clung to him like I always did, but this time I closed my eyes and enjoyed his heat.

And slowly, day faded to night.

* * *

 **Ending note**

Woo chapter done. I decided I better start a chapter with her waking up for once since they almost always start with them having lunch breaks :D Just letting you know I have no idea when the next chapter will be posted, hopefully within a week. I have some brutal University assignments coming up which is why this chapter took a bit longer to post as well. I won't make you wait too long though because I feel guilty haha. Let me know what you thought of this chapter :D keep in mind I edited this at 5.30am so it probably might be a bit shoddy in some areas haha


	25. Candlelight

Wow I'm sorry guys, it's been a few days since I last updated (longer than I would have liked) but that's only because this chapter is so long (16,000 words and 26 pages to be precise). I hope you've set aside at least 5 million hours to read it haha. There some awesome things happening in this chapter so enjoy and let me know what you think!

Also you've probs noticed that I changed the cover image for the story. I love doing art but I haven't been formally instructed so it's not 100% how I envisage her eyes but close enough.

 **Riri** \- Haha thanks for your kind words! I hope you continue to enjoy my story

 **Gembokkunci47** \- Thanks for you review :D Yes there have been lots of exciting developments so far, but there will only be more ! I hope you enjoy this very, very long chapter :D

 **Oshiet** \- Thanks for the review :D I'm hoping I'm turning them into good, well rounded characters :o enjoy this chapters (a nice long one haha)

 **ImpracticalDemon** \- Thank you (for your review of chapter one)! When you've caught up let me know what you reckon, and enjoy this chapter when you get up to it haha :D

* * *

 **Candlelight**

By time we were drawing close to the village, the sun was low in the sky.

We'd been riding since this morning, stopping only for the occasional break to let the horses rest. Unfortunately Kazama hadn't let me ride today because we'd needed to get to the village by sundown but I wasn't particularly disappointed. I was too busy thinking about how desperate I was for a warm bath and a meal. If there was one thing I'd realised from this journey it was to never take small things for granted. I'd learned that all I needed to keep me happy was a house, hot food and a bath.

Kazama hadn't spoken to me much today but I'd learned long ago it didn't mean he was mad or angry. He often dwelled in silence, no doubt thinking about things in the future I hadn't even conceived yet but I didn't mind the silence anymore now that I understood the meaning behind it. However, I couldn't deny I liked it when he was talkative too because I learned something new about him every time he spoke. He was kind of like the puzzle that we had assembled together on our date; each time I found out something about him I got a new puzzle piece that I could use to put together an image of who he really was. I'd gotten a few so far but there were many, many more to go. I wondered if I would ever manage to collect all the pieces. If he would ever let me complete the puzzle.

When we came up over the crest of the hill I could see the village laid out in front of me, the lights from the houses glowing dimly in the twilight like coals. It was a small village as Kazama had warned but it was big enough for me to know it would have everything I needed. It was probably another 20 minutes away but I knew we would make it just before the sun disappeared from the sky. I peered past Kazama's shoulder to keep looking at the scene of the village before us, in awe of how beautiful it appeared when doused in the colours of dusk. I was so excited I was practically bouncing up and down in the saddle. After so long of bathing in cold streams and dirty rivers I had good reason to be eager about finally washing in hot water and I was planning on making the most of these simple pleasures before the harshness of travel once again denied me of them.

Suddenly Kazama stopped the horse, shifting my attention to him. I instantly peered around to search for something that had caused him to bring Yuki to a stop but I found nothing.

He sighed when he noticed me raking the forest for clues. 'This is where we part ways.' He said.

It took a few seconds for what he'd said to register. 'What do you mean _part ways_?' I asked, staring up at the side of his face. His milky skin had a pale gold sheen in the light and I caught the flicker of smile. 'Don't worry, kitten, I'm not going to abandon you. Amagiri and I will take the horses to a stable where they will stay for the next few nights, as it is evident we can't take them into town with us or leave them on the outskirts of the village. You and Shiranui will proceed to the inn where you will organise accommodation.' He said, letting the reins slip from his hands as he dismounted Yuki. He gestured for me to get off the horse and I did, flicking his hand away as he went to help me. It didn't matter how many times I rejected his offer, he always kept on trying like one day I would finally accept his aid.

I straightened out my cape as I landed on the dirt and Kazama turned to watch me sort myself out. His eyes were burning, as usual, but it wasn't predatory. 'Make sure you book your room next to mine. No exceptions.' He said, breaking our eye contact to pull my saddlebag off Yuki. He gave it to me as Shiranui got off Kuri, reaching into his cape and pulling out a small sac of coins. He tossed it to Shiranui and said nothing but I presumed it was for lodging.

He turned back to me immediately afterwards, making me flinch as I saw the intensity in his gaze. 'Do you understand?' He asked sternly. I quickly nodded in hope that the heat in his eyes would dissipate but it only grew worse. 'Good. Although I won't complain if you wish to book us a room to share. I just can't promise I'll be capable of behaving myself, however.' He purred, relishing in the alarm in my expression. I turned away to deny him of the satisfaction of seeing me blush. 'I'll be sure _not_ to do that.' I muttered, drawing another chuckle from him. He sighed like he'd really expected I would agree. 'What a shame. Anyway, try not to get into trouble before I return. I will see you soon.' He said, reaching out to cup my cheek. I went even redder as his thumb glazed over my cheekbone and I felt a mixture of relief and disappointment as he pulled himself away promptly afterwards.

With a slight smirk, he got back onto Yuki and secured Kuri's reins to the saddle.

When I looked at Shiranui he gestured for me to follow him. 'Alright then, let's be on our way before your obnoxious husband gives us any more tasks.' He sighed. I gaped at the shock of his words but quickly regained my composure. 'Shiranui-san!' I scolded, earning a laugh from him. He ignored me and turned to face the path without saying anything but the expression on his face told me he was pleased with my reaction.

After a brief glance up at Kazama, who was smirking approvingly, I quickly hurried to catch up to him.

I could feel Kazama watching me leave as Shiranui and I walked away. I didn't know how long it would take him to deliver the horses to the stables but I was irritated with myself for feeling reluctant to leave him. I hadn't actually believed that Kazama would abandon me but I hadn't been able to quench the fear in my chest when he'd said we were parting ways. I never imagined that the thought of him deserting me would cause me to feel that way and I didn't want to think about if it was because I was beginning to like his companionship.

Once Kazama and Amagiri were well behind us, Shiranui shoved his hands into his pockets. 'It's worked out better than I thought taking you with us. Kazama isn't the usual slave driver when you're around and I guess I have you to thank for the fact I'll have a proper bed for the next few days.' He said wryly, giving me sidelong glance. I blushed, being reminded once again of how Kazama treated me differently to the others. 'There's no need to thank me...' I mumbled, peering down at my feet as I attempted to avoid the stones. He laughed. 'Now that I know you can get what you want from him I'll be sure to put in a few requests the next time you plan on saying his name. I'm dying for some new boots.' He teased, observing me gleefully as I went bright red. I didn't know how well Kazama would take to me asking him for new boots on Shiranui's behalf but I think at that point he would definitely withdraw the power from me to order him around using his name. I found it interesting though how he'd given me such a gift, something that could make him do whatever I wanted even if he was against it which is _exactly_ what had happened yesterday. Perhaps he knew when he'd given me that power that I would never make him do anything too horrible, or maybe he'd thought I'd never use it. I didn't know, but I never thought that he'd wanted me so desperately to call him by his first name.

Shiranui was walking casually beside me, hands in his pockets and a puckish expression on his face. I had to admit I'd once found his dry wit slightly intimidating but in saying that I had felt the same way about Okita's sense of humour too when we'd first met. The first few months of living in the Shinsengumi headquarters was spent trying to work out whether or not he would _actually_ follow through on his threats to kill me. Shiranui's humour was slightly less twisted in a way but no less humiliating and I was still trying to recover from him calling Kazama my husband.

When we'd reached the bottom of the hill and I could no longer see the village, I decided to ask a question. 'Shiranui-san, how long have you known Kazama-san?' I asked. I'd posed the same thing to Amagiri as well but I'd already known that it had been for a long time. Shiranui on the other hand… I couldn't even guess how long Kazama and him had been acquainted for. He sighed heavily. 'Technically just for the duration of the war but that guy makes it feel like an eternity. If I had have known I was going to be under the authority of someone so unbearable then I would have rathered stay back in my village.' He groaned, making an unpleasant face. I had to laugh at that, finding it perfectly believable. Kazama had this way of making even death seem like a more appealing option than being in his company, although it was nowhere near as bad as it used to be. He was very slowly becoming tolerable.

I played with the hilt of my kodachi as we walked. 'Did you like your village?' I questioned, hoping it wasn't too much of a personal question. He didn't seem insulted or uncomfortable when he answered so I assumed it had been fine. 'I liked it when I was growing up but I've never been one to enjoy staying in one place. Plus it was too dark and glum. And I don't like bats.' He said simply like it explained everything, but I only had more questions. What had bats got to do with anything? And why was it dark and glum?

He saw the confusion on my face and laughed. 'My clan is one of stealth right? It would only make sense that our village was hidden inside a cave.'

I turned to face him fully now, no longer trying to hide my curiosity. 'A cave? So how do you see with no sunlight?' I gasped. He looked like he was trying to work out how to answer. 'We can all see in the dark but the fungi and plants that grow in the damp soil emit a bit of light. On the odd occasion we get a visitor and need to light up the place we have large fire pits scattered throughout the village. It wasn't an insufferable place to live but bats are _everywhere_.' He emphasised the last word, and I smiled as I saw the grimace of disgust on his face.

Shiranui was only getting chirpier the longer I asked him questions and I thought for the first time that maybe it was hard for him to travel with the others, not just because of Kazama but because no one was really that talkative. Shiranui seemed like the sort of person who craved social contact, despite being a nomad, and I decided I would make an effort from now on to talk to him more. Besides, I liked talking to him too.

Our conversation ended as we came up to the village.

There were actually more people than I thought there would be, moving around carrying bags of shopping and trying to get home before the sunlight faded. Shiranui led me through the busy streets as if he knew exactly where to go, doing a brilliant job of ignoring the stares we got from everyone around us. I could hear their whispers, see them pointing in my peripheral vision. I lowered my face to hide my blush but kept my eyes trained on the back of his shoes so I could follow. These clothes attracted attention wherever we went.

Shiranui stopped suddenly and I almost bashed into him like I'd done to Kazama so many times before. 'Ok, this is the one.' He said. When I looked up I saw a large inn that people were flowing steadily in and out of. It was a pretty big building and 2 stories high but all that consumed me was my need for a bath. Shiranui seemed to sense my desperation and he chuckled. 'Come on.'

I followed him obediently as we entered.

We had to push through the people in order to get to the front counter and I presumed there were so many because of the festival the day after tomorrow, which just so happened to be my 21st birthday. I hoped that we would be able to find lodgings or we might have had to stay in the forest again. There would have been nothing more disappointing than that and I didn't want to spend my birthday sleeping on the dirt.

The man staffing the counter raised his eyes to us as we approached. 'Hello, how may I help you?' He asked, all smiles. Shiranui assumed a casual leaning position against the bench. 'Just wondering if we could book 4 rooms for a few nights.' He asked informally, his eyes shifting down to scrutinise the piles of paper the man had been staring at moments prior. It was a record of all the people staying and how many rooms were left. I couldn't see much but it looked like it was pretty full. The man spread out his papers a little more. 'Yes, we have a few rooms left. May I ask under what name?' He asked, picking up his brush and dipping it in the ink ready to write. 'Kazama.' Shiranui replied, and the man instantly wrote the name down in four empty slots.

When I saw the numbers of the rooms, I remembered something. 'Shiranui-san!' I whispered, and he turned to me. 'Kazama-san said to book his and I's room next to each other.' I reminded him. Shiranui just rolled his eyes and turned back to the man. 'Would it be possible to book two of those rooms next to each other?' He asked. The man appeared confused but began flicking through the files to see if there were two rooms available side-by-side.

I waited anxiously for his answer as he raised his head. 'I'm sorry. The only rooms available are all located in different halls, as we are quite full for the festival.' He said regretfully. I bit my lip as I anticipated Kazama's irritation. He wouldn't be pleased when he found that out. If he had have been here he would have ordered him to free up a room so he could be next to me. This would be the first time our rooms hadn't been next to each other.

Shiranui shrugged. 'Can't be helped. We will take what you have. How much for three nights?' He asked nonchalantingly as he pulled out the coin sac and placed it on the front counter. The man eyed the money briefly before he responded. 'Altogether it will be 45 gold coins.' He responded. Shiranui handed over the money as the man gave him a sheet of paper. 'On that are the numbers of your rooms and their locations. You are free to each take the room you want. Let us know if you have any trouble finding anything.' He said warmly as Shiranui shoved the spare coins back into his coat pocket.

I took the sheet of paper off Shiranui as he handed it to me lazily and I turned back to the man. 'Are there any baths here?' I asked, dreading an unfavourable answer. However, the man smiled. 'Of course. There are heated baths for both men and woman located out the back. Feel free to use them at any time.' He said kindly. I resisted the urge to grin. 'Thank you.' I said, pulling myself away from the bench as I noticed Shiranui had already turned to leave. I smiled at the man before I left.

Yes! A bath! That was all I wanted at the moment. Sleep and food could wait.

Shiranui's voice wrenched me from thought. 'Ok, so where are we going?' He asked, craning his neck to see the piece of paper I was holding. I peered down at it too and skimmed over the words. 'There are two upstairs and two downstairs and each in different halls.' I relayed. Shiranui sighed, pressing his hand to his forehead. 'This isn't going to go down well with the boss. You and him can go upstairs, Amagiri and I will take the rooms down here. I will walk you to your room now and then you can do what you like.' He said, gesturing to the large staircase located to the right. I nodded and followed him as he began to climb them.

As we emerged at the top we were faced with a small common area. We continued down one of the hallways branching off until we came to where the rooms started. I mentally repeated their numbers in my head as I searched for the ones we'd booked upstairs: 9 and 27. Shiranui had been right when he'd said Kazama wouldn't take the news very well but I hoped he wouldn't go too hard on him because the reality was it wasn't his fault. We were lucky we even got rooms considering how full they already seemed to be.

We stopped in front of room number 9. 'Looks like this one is yours.' He said, unlocking it and sliding open the door to have a look. I peered in past his shoulder and observed the plain, small space inside. It only had a tall cupboard, a table and a mat but it was luxury to me now that I'd spent months sleeping on the dirt.

Shiranui opened the door wider to let me in. 'Not the worst room I've ever seen.' He noted. I nodded, moving in to dump my bags on the floor. Shiranui watched me with mild interest as I went through all the drawers. There was a futon and blankets stored in the cupboard.

Once I'd gone through everything, he turned to go. 'I'll leave you to yourself now. Just make sure you're back down at the front counter in an hour for when we head to the inn's restaurant for dinner.' He said as he placed the key to my room on the table near the door. I nodded enthusiastically, no longer able to hide the grin on my face. 'Ok.'

As soon as he was gone, I let out a long, relieved sigh.

The room smelled slightly like dust but I couldn't have cared less. I was happy to be alone, to have my own privacy for once but most of all I was glad I knew I could have these next few days to rest.

I decided an hour was more than enough time to have a bath, so I picked up my bag again and headed out.

Shiranui was long gone, no doubt off to find his own room, so once I'd locked the door behind me I decided to continue down my hallway to see where it lead. The hallway was actually in the shape of a square horseshoe with the other side exiting back into another area of the common room. I continued my promenade down the dimly lit hall and around the corner until I came to the room that Kazama would be staying in. In reality our rooms weren't actually that far from each other but I already knew it would be too much of a distance for his liking. He would make sure I locked my door at night and didn't leave unless I came and told him where I was going. Would he be slightly more lenient with my protection if I learned how to use a sword? Probably not. He had always been protective of me.

I dismissed that thought and walked past his room and out into the common area again. There really wasn't much there apart from some chairs and a table and I walked past it to head to the staircase. I got some confused looks from the people who noticed my unusual attire but apart from that everyone left me alone, which I was immensely grateful for. I didn't want to speak to anyone. I just wanted to bathe.

I emerged onto the bottom floor in the main part of the inn where all the people were. There were a mix of men, women and families and I wondered where exactly they had all come from. I had heard Kazama say something about how the smaller settlements around the area would come to the larger towns for food and resources and I supposed this was similar, although this time it was the festival that had drawn them here. The village looked like it had at least a few thousand people in it but was obviously hundreds of times smaller than Kyoto.

I pushed past everyone and headed to the back where the man said the baths were. It wasn't long until I saw a sign directing me and I followed a narrow hallway until I came to two doors: male and female. I entered the female one and walked over to a bench in the dressing area, hanging my bag on a hook on the wall above it and pulling a clean bath robe from the rack. There were 3 other women there, just chatting to themselves as they got dressed and I hoped there wouldn't be anyone in the actual bathing pool because I didn't want anyone to see me unclothed.

Pulling my hair from its bun, I unlatched my cape and started to get undressed. I folded my clothes up and placed them on the seat as I took each layer off, speedily getting unchanged the rest of the way and throwing on my bathrobe. The women paid me no mind which I was glad for and they left just as I began picking up my toiletries ready to take into the bathing area.

I opened the door and the hot steam almost seared my face off. Unfortunately there were people in there but they didn't look much older than me and they didn't even turn to me as I entered. I made my way over to the furthest corner and dumped my soap and towel at the edge of the water before hastily disrobing and sinking into the bath.

I supressed a groan of relief as the water enveloped me.

I sunk in right up to my chin and closed my eyes, no longer caring about the presence of the girls on the other side. The warm water was exactly what I needed, even better than I'd imagined it would be.

I washed my hair and face, scrubbing the dirt from my body that had accumulated and lathering myself thrice with soap. I scrubbed every inch of my skin and watched with glee as it returned once more to cleanliness. I had always been pale and I attributed it to the fact I didn't go out much but I'd noticed that oni tended to have fairer skin than the rest of the population. I wasn't as pale as Kazama but I definitely had a light complexion.

I went rigid as I thought about how I'd caught him bathing the day after our fight. He'd been so beautiful, every curve and plane of his skin without flaw, and with the thin streams of light filtering through the trees and onto his body the water droplets had looked like diamonds. There was something about the soft pallor of his skin that made me want to touch him, to trace the lines of his muscles. I'd never been one to have such thoughts before but he'd always made me think things no other man could. Whenever he fixed those garnet eyes on me I could feel the threads of my sanity coming undone. He was the very embodiment of temptation, a dark forbidden fantasy.

I cringed as I became aware of the content of my thoughts. Even when I wasn't in his presence I would never be freed from him.

When I was finished and had sat there for an extra 30 minutes, I reluctantly dragged myself from the water so I wouldn't be late for dinner. I wanted to at least set out my futon before I went downstairs so when I got back I could just go to bed without having to worry about organising my room. I could already feel the haziness of exhaustion taking over my vision and now that I was washed all I wanted to do was crawl into bed.

I dried and dressed myself quickly while there was still no one around and left the bathing area. The air seemed so cold now that I was no longer surrounded by steam but I had been starting to get a headache anyway. I wiped the beads of sweat from my face and ascended the stairs.

When I strolled into my room I dumped everything on the floor and let out a sigh. My hair was still soaking wet so I dried it a little before sitting down on the floor to brush it. I was planning on growing it longer again after this whole journey was over. I hoped that even if I stayed with the Shinsengumi after the war that I wouldn't have to pretend to be a boy. I probably wasn't as ladylike as the majority of other girls but I did miss wearing women's clothing and it had been harder than I thought trying to hide my femininity for 4 years. I would still dress as a male if it was required but… I hoped I wouldn't have to.

Once my hair was brushed I rose up off the floor to sort my bed out.

I moved over to the cupboard and opened it wide, pulling out the rolled up futon and some blankets. I left the doors open as I walked over to a corner of the small room to set everything up and as I unrolled the bed I was pleased to see it was clean. I flattened it and shook the blankets out too, laying them on my bed and placing the pillow at one end.

When I was done I looked down at my handy work, smiling to myself. If I had have been alone on this journey I probably would have skipped dinner and gone straight to bed but I knew I might as well eat with the others. I wouldn't turn down free food.

I had only just walked back over to the cupboard and closed the doors when I felt a shiver go up my spine.

Before I could process what had caused it, two graceful hands came out of nowhere and pressed themselves either side of my head on the cupboard doors. It was the exact same action he'd done in Sen's house to lock me in place when I'd gone into his room although this time I wasn't facing him. I swallowed, going to turn around but I felt something soft brush against my ear. I seized up, trying to stop my legs from trembling as I realised he'd pressed his lips to me like he'd done yesterday.

He drew in a slow, deliberate breath. 'You disobeyed me, Chizuru.'

I tried to guard my serenity as his rich voice threatened to tear apart my self-control. He still had his lips pressed to my ear, the sound of his breath making me feel weak at the knees. I was so caught up in what he was doing to my body that I didn't even hear the words he said.

When I didn't answer he pulled away from me a bit, encouraging me to turn around so he could roast me with his gaze. When I didn't he grasped my chin and turned my face to him, forcing my whole body to rotate as well. My heart was pounding in my chest as our eyes met and I saw the expression on his face. 'Here I was, expecting to come back to the inn and have a room next to my wife, and yet when I arrive I find out I'm on the _other_ side of the second floor.' He said in a low voice, narrowing his eyes slightly.

I managed to compose myself somewhat and I pressed my hands to his chest to push him off me but he wouldn't budge. His eyes were on fire, blazing like the sun, as he pressed us both firmly up against the cupboard door in response to my resistance. His body fit perfectly against mine and I could feel the firmness of the mucles I'd been fantasising about only moments before.

I gasped as he tilted my face up, so close I could have pouted and our lips would have met. 'What sort of punishment do you think you deserve for that?'

In the end, it was the threat of chastisement that roused my silence. I was not about to be dealt another one of his ridiculous punishments. I frowned at him. 'There weren't two spare rooms next to each other so it couldn't be helped.' I muttered, trying to push him off me but he didn't move.

When I finally said something he smirked, dropping his broody demeanour. 'Maybe your punishment should be for me to call you kittenfrom now on instead of Chizuru. I must admit I am growing quite fond of the nickname.' He chuckled, ignoring my excuse and pulling himself away from me. I was blushing furiously as he folded his arms. 'As for the booking issue, I guess it means I will have to sleep in here tonight.' He said, looking around as if he was already trying to find a place to put his futon. I screwed up my face at the suggestion. 'That is _not_ going to happen.' I asserted. I'd have to be out of my mind to let him sleep in my room alone with me. There was no doubt he would have trouble behaving, just like he'd warned me earlier.

He chuckled. 'I guess there will be plenty of time for that once we are wed, although I can't imagine much sleep will be had anyway.' He said, his statement causing me to screw up my face. Yet another provocative comment that left me questioning what I wanted.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

I looked at Kazama and he sighed, appearing over next to it and pushing it open. I was expecting it to be Shiranui or Amagiri but it wasn't. There were three people standing there, holding an assortment of furniture.

One of the men spoke up when he'd finished assessing Kazama's bored expression. 'Hello, we were asked to deliver these to this room?' He said, lifting up the small round table he was struggling to hold. When I peered past him I saw two young girls, one holding a collection of embroidered cushions and the other carrying a tray of bowls and cutlery.

I was just about to interrupt and say that they had the wrong room, when Kazama sighed. 'Place them down and leave.' He ordered, stepping out of the way so they could enter. They cowered from the irritation on his face and quickly scurried inside, putting down the items and arranging them on the floor of my room.

When I turned away from the bizarre scene to stare at Kazama he was eyeing the girls criticisingly as they laid the crockery neatly onto the table. 'That's fine. Now go.' He said tersely, unafflicted by how they all seemed to be so scared of him. They immediately let go of what they'd been holding and made their way to the door, practically bowling each other over to get out.

They bowed then left hurriedly, rendering me even more confused than before.

Kazama shook his head once the door was closed. 'Such jittery, pathetic creatures.' He mumbled. Normally I would have told him off for such a comment but I was still trying to process why there was a dinner setup in my room.

I stared at it unblinkingly until Kazama sat down on one of the cushions. 'Sit down.' He ordered, gesturing to the other assemblage of cushions across the table from him. I did so hesitantly as I found my voice. 'What's going on?' I asked, picking up the painted teacup in front of me and examining the pattern on its surface. Kazama sighed. 'Tonight we will dine together, just you and I. I am not in the mood to be in the presence of humans. What I desire is to be in the company of my wife.' He said airily, closing his eyes like he was in pain. I analysed his exhausted facial expression, blushing as it dawned on me what he meant.

We were going to eat in _here_? _Alone_?

I shifted on the cushions awkwardly. 'What about Amagiri and Shiranui?' I questioned, recalling that Shiranui had said earlier that we would all be eating together. Kazama opened his eyes to give me an uninterested look. 'I told them my plans for the night and so they have gone off to secure their own meal. They are more than capable of feeding themselves.' He said as he raised a hand to pick up his empty sake cup. I nodded. 'Uh… ok.' I murmured.

He played with his cup idly as he watched me analyse the tableware. 'And after we finish eating we will have another lesson on your oni powers.' He added, making sure he didn't take his eyes off me so he caught the eagerness that flooded my face.

All my nerves immediately dissolved and I peered up at him. 'Really? What will we do?' I inquired. He seemed pleased that he'd attracted my undivided attention. 'Tonight I will teach you how to selectively choose which oni senses to activate so you don't need to transform fully into your oni form to use them.' He said, relishing in my curiosity. I thought about what he meant for a bit before I asked. 'What do you mean by _selectively choose_?' I questioned.

He only grinned, closing his eyes. 'I mean _this_.'

When he slowly opened them again, my heart melted. Two orange-gold irises had replaced his red ones, burning brightly in the mild darkness of my room. They were just as striking as I remembered and I found myself mesmerised by them yet again. They were exquisitely beautiful.

He smirked at my facial expression. 'Onis can choose which of their senses to activate, whether that be their improved sight, hearing, taste, smell or touch. This also applies for physical features.' He said, raising his hand. I noticed he had unsheathed his claws and yet the rest of him remained in human form. 'This is what I'll teach you tonight. If you wish, we can also try some telepathy as well.' He added.

I couldn't help but smile as I felt my excitement building. I was looking forward to practicing my telepathy again and learning a new skill. I hadn't known we were capable of activating only one sense at a time and it just reminded me much I still didn't know about myself. However, that made it extra exciting. Who knew what else I was capable of.

Kazama sheathed the claws on his hands and faded his eyes back to red just as someone knocked on the door.

He instantly got up off the cushions and strolled over to the doorway, opening it just as the girl started to speak. 'I have your… oh, good evening… sir.' She stammered, her eyes going as wide as dinner plates as she glanced up and saw Kazama there. She was carrying a large tray of food and the sight made my mouth water. It was only after seeing and smelling food that I realised how starving I was.

Kazama ignored her greeting and plucked the tray from her grasp. 'Did you bring sake?' He demanded. She took a while to gain her bearings but when she did, she nodded. 'Yes sir. It's in the bottle on the tray. Did you need me to pou…?'

'No.' Kazama interrupted. 'My wife will pour it for me.' And without another second of hesitation he used his foot to slide the door shut.

When Kazama turned around I was already frowning at him. 'Do you have to be so rude all the time?' I demanded as he placed the tray on the table and sat back down on the cushions. He shot me a glare as I got to my knees and automatically started to move the food from the tray to the table. 'I merely treat them how they deserve to be treated.' He sighed, eyes twinkling as he hoped I would challenge him. I just sighed irritably and pulled the empty tray off the table and onto the floor. His distaste for humans was by far one of the most irritating things about him, right after his obsession with teasing me.

Kazama smirked at my silence. 'Does it truly bother you that much?' He asked, picking up his chopsticks. I glared up at him as I grabbed my own and reached for an empty bowl. 'Yes it does. Human or not you should be kind to everyone, or at least not treat them so disrespectfully.' I rebuked.

He shrugged, watching me serve my own food. 'Respect must be earned.' And with that he started to eat.

I fumed for a while as I filled my bowl up. For someone who was so desperate for me to be his wife he certainly was doing a poor job of showcasing his good qualities. I knew he had them but they were always concealed beneath his impoliteness and arrogance. Maybe if he wasn't so discourteous then he would have a better chance of winning me over.

My anger quickly faded as I started to eat.

I grinned as I spooned some chicken into my mouth, savouring the tenderness of the meat, and I was so absorbed in eating that I didn't realise Kazama had watched me for a whole minute before he resumed consuming his own food. We had a few different dishes to choose from and I'd sampled them all, from the chicken to the fish and everything in between. I was planning on eating as much meat as I possibly could while I was here as we couldn't take it with us while travelling because it would go off. I'd been living off vegetables for what felt like forever.

I thought about how eager I was to learn what he was going to teach me later on. I was desperate to practice my telepathy again and maybe even do it without being in my oni form as that meant we could even talk to one another while riding. I pondered whether he would try and teach me how to exchange memories, since I'd promised I'd give him my memories of when I resurrected that man from the dead in return for him showing me the scenes of when I was drunk. I really didn't know what to expect to see because I couldn't remember a single thing nor how much wine I'd had, but it had been at _least_ six large glasses.

'Chizuru.' He suddenly said, snapping me from my concentration. When I peeked up he was holding up his empty sake cup and looking at me expectantly. I frowned, knowing instantly what he wanted me to do. I considered telling him I wasn't his slave and refusing to do it but I didn't want to argue with him right now. Not when my food was waiting for me.

I picked up the small bottle of sake and poured it steadily into his glass, ignoring the self-satisfied smirk he was sporting. 'Isn't this nostalgic. The last time you poured me sake was at Shimabara all those years ago. Wasn't that an amusing night.' He sighed as I placed the bottle back down on the table. 'Maybe for you.' I said simply, picking up my bowl and chopsticks again. He chuckled. 'You were certainly beautiful enough to pass as a geisha but you couldn't have fooled anyone with that horrendous attempt at an accent. I'm surprised no one else pulled you up on it. You're fortunate I was the guest you ended up serving.' He joked, downing his sake in one mouthful.

I went bright red as I remembered how I'd tried desperately to find excuse after excuse for my poor accent. Kimigiku had given me a few lessons in how to be a proper geisha but I hadn't quite nailed their manner of speaking and he'd been quick to bring it to my attention that night. He was too clever for his own good as none of the other men I'd served had picked up on it, although they had been quite drunk.

I poured him another glass of sake when he held his cup out to me again. 'No one else had noticed, and even if they did I don't think they would have cared. You're the only one that would bring up something like that. And while we are on this topic, it was your fault that the night went downhill.' I blamed, quickly swallowing another mouthful of food before he expected me to talk again. He raised both eyebrows, obviously surprised at my accusation. ' _Me_? Even a pen full of chickens could have coordinated a better operation than that. And did you forget it was I who saved you from those bad men? Honestly. You attract trouble everywhere you go.' He sighed. I ignored his chicken comment and quickly swallowed the food in my mouth. 'Well I wouldn't have gone outside and come across those men if you… you hadn't have… uh…' I trailed off, going red as I realised what I was about to say.

He perked up, grinning at me. 'If I hadn't have tried to kiss you?' He offered, chuckling as he saw me blush darker. He immediately continued. 'I would have done it too if that wench had have minded her own business. Even the second time we were so rudely interrupted.' He sighed, eyes burning as he leaned back on one arm and waited for my reply. I couldn't meet his gaze when he was staring at me like that, like he was trying to undress me with his eyes. 'Well… you definitely deserved her disapproval on both occasions.' I muttered, a statement which I knew he would challenge.

And he did.

He cocked his head to the side. ' _Both_ times? Do you forget it was _you_ who agreed to kiss me on the second account in exchange for accompanying me on this trip?' He said incredulously. I put down my bowl, unable to eat while he was talking about such humiliating things. I'd hoped he would never bring it up but of course I could never be so lucky. 'Quite frankly it was very underhanded of you to request it in the first place. Osen-chan was right when she said you were being manipulative.' I shot back, trying to sound composed but I kept on thinking of how close we'd been. He gave me a crooked smile and shrugged. 'Maybe it was devious of me, but I would not have followed through with it if I'd sensed you were truly scared or uncomfortable; which if I'm honest, I had expected you to be. But no, instead you wrapped your arms around me and were quaking with so much yearning that I was having to hold you up. I can only imagine what would have happened if we _hadn't_ have been interrupted. You probably wouldn't have wanted to leave with just a kiss.'

'K..Kazama-san!' I gasped, mortified beyond belief. He drank in the panic on my face and chuckled. 'There's no need to be so virtuous, Chizuru. You act like it's a sin to feel like that way about a man, especially when it comes to me; you should be more honest with yourself. Maybe then you will see how well we are suited to one another.' He sighed, closing his eyes and smirking so conceitedly that I wanted to reach across and smack it off his face.

I couldn't even conceive a reply because I was so flustered. It was like he could ready my mind! What made it worse was that he _had_ noticed my trembling on the night we'd almost kissed, in addition to the rest of the things that gave away that I wasn't as unwilling as we both once thought.

His perceptiveness was infuriating!

I resumed eating as I realised I was incapable of coming up with a retort and he watched me haughtily as I shovelled food into my mouth to distract myself from his penetrating gaze. He knew without a doubt that what he'd said was accurate and the expression on my face told him I knew it too. It was times like this where I would have rathered torture than to sit in front of him. I didn't even have anyone else I could turn to and initiate a conversation with in order to drain the awkwardness from the room. After all the times I'd wished that Kazama and I were alone when he was teasing me, I realised now that it was worse like this. With just him and I, there was no escape.

Once he'd finished eating he placed his empty bowl onto the table and waited patiently for me to finish. I tried to eat slower to avoid when I would have to talk to him again but the uneasiness of having him watch me subconsciously made me eat faster. Before I knew it I had also placed my empty bowl on the bench and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, lowering my head almost in shame as I waited for him to speak.

When he saw I'd finished, he sighed. 'Now that your cheeks have paled a little more, do you want to start the lesson?' He questioned. I couldn't look up at him but I was glad he hadn't let us sit there for too long in silence because I could not have beared the discomfort. I nodded slightly. 'Yes.'

As I gave permission he got up off the cushions he was sitting on, picking up the crockery covered table and moving it into the corner of the room. I watched his tall figure move back to me, pushing his cushions nearer to where I was positioned. He was so close to me when he sat down that I could smell him. 'Tonight I will tell you what to do and once I have finished explaining you may try to execute my instructions. When I feel you have at least grasped the basics, we may practice our telepathy.' He said, assuming his usual stern expression. He no longer had the mirth in his eyes from what had happened but I knew it would return at some point.

He started to talk without waiting for my encouragement. 'As I demonstrated to you earlier, it is possible to mobilise your oni senses without taking on your oni form. This will prove immensely useful for you in the future when carrying out everyday tasks and detecting enemies. We can activate one sense or multiple at once, as well as summon singular features of our form as we please. Just before you saw me unsheathe all my claws, but it's possible to summon however many you want, even if it be just one. This also applies to all your other physical characteristics; hair, eyes, horns, pointed ears and even the luminosity of your skin all without changing fully.' He said, watching my face carefully to ensure I understood everything he was telling me.

After he'd noticed I was still concentrating, he continued. 'As for the process, it is exactly the same as transformation but you direct it not to your skin but to the features themselves. I should also note this can occur in reverse, when you are in your oni form and you wish to withdraw a feature but we will practice this later. For now you should attempt to summon your claws.' He instructed, gesturing for me to begin.

I didn't feel the need to turn away like I normally would but I still lowered my head so my hair fell over my face and shielded it from his view. When I'd last changed into my oni form it had been much easier to slip into meditation than the first time and I hoped it would be even easier now, even though Kazama was staring at me.

I drew in a slow breath and closed my eyes.

I withdrew inside of my mind like how I'd done so many other times. The power was already buzzing, shying away from my mind's touch but I could sense it was even less defiant than before. I was pretty sure the tendrils of energy were very slowly getting used to being handled and the knowledge that I was learning how to apply them made me smile.

When I'd finished analysing how placid they'd become, I reached for one. It tried to bury back into the darkness but I grabbed it and started to pull it upwards, resisting against its attempts to break free. Even though they were a lot calmer than they'd been previously it by no means meant I didn't need to fight to control them, and as always it required much concentration to do so.

I clamped down on it firmer as it started to slip and pulled it upwards to the point where I'd normally press it against my skin. I waited there a for bit, holding the contorting string of energy and trying to figure out what to do next. Kazama had said to direct it to my features and in order to summon my claws I presumed he meant my hands. I could kind of feel where I needed to take it, down through my veins instead of letting it go at my skin. So that's what I did. I pushed it into my blood but I didn't release it; instead I weaved it through the network of capillaries in my body until I reached my arms. It felt so bizarre that I knew kind of what to do and where exactly everything was, like it was natural.

As I reached my hands I managed to direct it into my fingers and when I was pleased with its location, I let it go. I instantly felt the similar burning sensation as I did when I transformed fully but this time it was localised to my hands. I winced as I felt a sharp pain in my fingertips like they were being pricked with needles and that was the cue to open my eyes.

A grin split across my face as I saw that I'd succeeded.

I raised a clawed hand to my mouth to muffle my giggle as I inspected the other with amazement. They appeared exactly as they did when I was in my oni form, long and delicate, and I dragged their tips over my palm to remind myself of their sharpness

As I raised my eyes to peer at Kazama he was watching me inspect myself with satisfaction. 'It pleases me that you are no longer disconcerted by your features. I can see you are beginning to get used to your oni form.' He remarked, undeniably satisfied. I smiled, pushing some hair behind my ear. 'It's certainly different but I don't dislike it. Actually it's… pretty amazing.' I said, unable to contain my excitement. I stared back down at my hands to study my nails, memorising as much of their shape and colour before the lesson came to an end and I would be forced to become 'human' again.

Kazama's graceful fingers came out of nowhere and I blushed as he picked up one of my hands into his own. He turned it over gently and ran his fingertips over my palm, giving me goosebumps, and I let him examine my nails even though every few seconds his eyes would raise to meet mine and consequently set my cheeks on fire. His touch was just as elating as it had been when we were practicing our telepathy the night before.

I only realised my eyes had drifted closed when his voice caused me to open them. 'Try to summon another feature now, whichever one you want.' He said, the velvety smoothness of his voice making my stomach tighten. I nodded softly and closed my eyes again, and he didn't let me go.

The sensation of his fingers on my skin faded slowly as I retreated back into meditation.

My power was there, as it always was, swirling like an ocean of gold thread. I singled one out from the others and tugged it from the depths, grasping it harder the more it writhed, and I heaved it up out of the shadows and near my skin. It took some concentration to work out where exactly I needed to take it but I eventually managed to feel around for the veins I knew would take the energy to my head.

I pushed the power into my blood but maintained my hold on it, leading it through my body until it reached my skull. I could feel I had the option of where I wanted to apply it to; my eyes, my horns, my ears… but I chose my hair. I pushed it against my scalp and let it go, anticipating the same burning sensation I felt when I'd unsheathed my claws.

And I felt it, sizzling and slightly uncomfortable as I allowed the change to occur.

My eyes opened cautiously just in time to see the last of my hair turn white. It was glowing like it did in my oni form, just as beautiful and glossy. I pulled my hand from Kazama's to caress it, dragging my fingers though my hair to the ends and relishing in the fact it didn't seem to knot easily. When I let it go it fell against my shoulders, the strands so thin it almost appeared to be made of spiderweb.

I had already expected Kazama to touch it, but when he actually did it still surprised me. He shifted a few inches closer so he could pull my hair over one shoulder with one hand and use to the other to pick up my own. It felt better than it should have for him to play with my hair and his gentleness combined with my exhaustion was lulling me to sleep. He was so tender when he touched me that I couldn't help but close my eyes again, even though there was a persistent voice in my head telling me that it was dangerous to be so vulnerable around him.

When I felt a soft pressure against my mind, I snapped my eyes open and glared at him, wondering if it was what I thought it was. He hadn't taken his eyes off me nor his hands and his eyes were twinkling.

When the sensation didn't retreat I knew that he was trying to establish a telepathic link. His mind barrier wasn't as firm as it had been when I'd been in my oni form but it was definitely noticeable. I found myself edging closer to him so he didn't have to reach over so much to hold my hands as he tried to communicate with me.

As I shifted closer he spoke. 'Do you want to try telepathy again?' He asked, watching me carefully as he pulled me even closer until our knees were almost touching. 'I do.' I replied, barely able to contain my excitement. Kazama smirked at my enthusiasm. 'Then request entry into my head. It will be a bit harder because you aren't in your oni form but it should be still possible. You will quickly become accustomed to it.' He exclaimed, his eyes shifting to my hair every few seconds.

I nodded, closing my eyes and trying to remember what I'd done the other night. I know I'd pressed my mind against his and he'd lowered his barrier, so I decided I was going to work on doing that first before anything else.

It required much more effort in this form than in my other but I still managed to locate the presence of his mind.

I shakily slid my mind over his, my frown getting deeper and deeper the harder I concentrated. His barrier was still so concrete and smooth, but its presence wasn't as strong as it had been the other night; probably due to the fact I was in my human form.

Kazama identified my mind moving unsteadily against his own and he reacted accordingly. The shell around his psyche dissolved until there was nothing between our minds, resulting in an overwhelming feeling of openness in my head. As soon as the walls between us has been broken down I felt the gloomy cloud looming over his thoughts and shielding all of his memories and emotions. I also sensed that same darkness I'd felt the other night; something forlorn, desolate even, but I didn't want to dwell too much on it in case he could sense I was thinking about it.

When I opened my eyes, Kazama raised an eyebrow at me and I recognised that as my cue to talk.

I looked away from him so I could focus on pushing what I wanted to say into his head.

 _Kazama-san…_

My voice echoed like it had done the first time and I'd worked out that meant it had done it correctly. I didn't even need to look back at him to know he was smirking and I could feel a twinge of pleasure come from him as I said his name.

Just as I went red, he chuckled inside my head _. In this form it takes more concentration to use all your oni abilities, telepathy included. You took longer than last time to communicate with me but that's normal because you are in your human form. Fortunately with practice it will become much easier_ : he explained, his voice echoing through my mind melodiously. It was kind of pleasant to hear his voice inside of my head but it made it so much harder to concentrate.

I felt my focus wavering as I replied. _Will my clan power get easier to control in this form too?_ : I asked curiously. He nodded, which I both saw and felt. _It will, but you will find it much easier to manipulate in your oni form. Not only would your blood heal the wounds heal quicker but you would require less energy. However, I am unfamiliar with the specifics of your clan power. You would normally have been taught as a child how to use it and what exactly you were capable of doing_ : he said contritely.

I lowered my head in dismay. I knew there was no one left to teach me, not a single person from my clan who could tell me what exactly I could do. The realisation that I'd never know the full extent of my powers unless I discovered them myself made me feel disheartened. I knew I could heal and bring people back from the dead but were there other parts to my clan power I didn't know about? I thought about the story Sen had told me about how my father had cured my mother's poison. I'd never tried to cure someone's poison but at least I knew it was possible, even if through a kiss. She said my father could heal illness too, so if I was like my him then I would also be capable of that. However, I couldn't know that for certain.

I sighed when I was ready to talk again. _Are all the clan powers controlled in the same way?:_ I asked. He adopted a pensive expression. _In some ways, yes, but there are differences. The way I was taught to use my clan power would not be the same as the way you would have been taught to use yours, but the lessons on concentration might be similar. But rest assured that although it may take much longer for you to master your clan power, it's evident that it has come to you naturally. This is proof of your pure blood. Other lesser onis are incapable of using their powers unless taught from a young age._

So it was because I was a pureblood that my powers came to me innately. I guess I would have to be fortunate that I was of high birth or I might never have been able to use them.

Kazama narrowed his eyes a little when I looked up at him. He must have felt something from me that suggested I was going to ask an interesting question. _Will you really not give me another clue to your clan power?_ : I murmured, testing the water. He relaxed as I asked and assumed a haughty expression. _I'm honoured that you're so eager to know more about me_ : He purred, fixing me with a pleased regard. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. _Well it has been weeks since you gave me the first clue and it's evident it didn't help me in any way_ : I retorted, trying to diffuse his satisfaction. I could see clearly that he enjoyed my curiosity.

After a while, he shrugged. _You know what you need to do_ : he said simply.

I instantly blushed. I knew exactly what he was inferring. I didn't think I'd need to say his first name again so quickly but with the way he was looking at me I knew it would be the only way I'd persuade him to part with another clue. I could feel my face getting hotter and hotter the more I thought about it but it really had been so long since the last clue and I was dying for another. I knew nothing about his clan and my curiosity was eating away at me. I'd tried so hard to think of possibilities but nothing came to mind, especially because I knew it could be anything.

When I looked up at Kazama again, I blushed. We were not only holding hands alone together in my bedroom, but we were in the dark as well. It was now well past sundown and the sunlight from the sky had faded but I didn't have anything to light the candle on the table next to the door. I could see his eyes sailing over my face, their red fibres beginning to glow in response to the low light.

Kazama waited patiently for a few seconds before he sighed. _Such a pity. I thought you would say it for the sake of another clue, especially since you've already said it once. It seems your boldness comes from asking me to do things I don't want to do_ : he accused lightly, raising an eyebrow at me as I blushed darker.

He was right in a way. I'd managed to muster the courage to ask him to teach me swordsmanship even though he'd originally said no. There really shouldn't have been a reason for me not to be able to call his name again for a clue to his clan power, especially because I already knew he would give me one if I requested it; there was no doubt there. It occurred me too that he'd promised to give me a hint about his middle power if I correctly guessed his clan power.

I closed my eyes, taking in a small breath. I couldn't believe I was going to do this again but I was planning on saying it as quick as possible. 'Can I please have a cl…?'

I was interrupted mid-sentence by a finger to my lips.

Opening my eyes in shock, I saw an irritated Kazama staring back at me. _We have established a mind link for a reason. Don't speak with your voice_ : he ordered, just as annoyed as the first time I'd accidentally spoke aloud. I pushed his finger off me, subconsciously licking my lips to extinguish the lingering warmth of his touch. His skin had a sweet taste but that was the last thing I wanted to be thinking of just when I was about to call his name.

I sighed. _Fine._

Gathering up my courage once more, I found I couldn't meet his eyes. _Can I please have another clue to your clan power, Ch… Chikage?_

I almost gasped as a wave of his satisfaction flowed through me as forcefully as a slap across the face. He didn't even try to mask it and it made it a million times embarrassing knowing exactly how much it pleased him. I doubted I'd ever be able to do it again no matter what I wanted, knowing that it gave him that much gratification.

He started to chuckle in my head. _I doubt it will ever become less exhilarating hearing you call me Chikage, especially when I can sense how it makes you feel as well_ : he purred, a grin spreading across his face.

When I turned away from him abruptly to hide my flaming cheeks, I still couldn't escape his mirth. He was grinning in my head too.

I sighed after I'd calmed down but my heart was still pounding. He pulled one of his hands from mine to reach out and touch my face, securing my chin with his fingers. His eyes were blazing blood red, sending chills up and down my spine, but not from fear; their eerie colour didn't scare me anymore. His lips twitched in amusement. _Would you like the next clue now?:_ he asked, knowing the answer already. I frowned, trying to feign irritation in response to his touch but it was difficult. _Yes. That_ is _why I said your name_ : I mumbled.

He smirked, ignoring my retort, but he didn't take his hand off me when he replied. _Look up at the stars with your oni vision. It is there you will find your next clue._

Once he'd finished speaking, he watched me quietly.

I automatically looked out the window to the navy sky. We were on the second floor so there were no buildings obstructing the view and it occurred to me then that I hadn't looked at the sky both times I'd been in my oni form; there had been a much more intense distraction at that stage, a distraction with piercing red eyes. I had always wondered if I'd be able to see the stars clearer with my new senses and I couldn't believe I hadn't thought about testing my theory out prior to tonight.

I guess now I had an excuse to.

I turned back to Kazama and he was almost daring me to do it. I frowned at him, my cheeks still red as his thumb slid across my chin. _This isn't going to be another vague clue, is it?:_ I deadpanned. He sighed and pulled me even closer to him so he could have comfortably wrapped his arms around me.

His heat was baking one side of my body. _Why don't you find out?_

I gazed back out the window again, feeling the soft night air wafting over my hot cheeks. He'd already taught me how to activate my claws and hair so I supposed it would work for my sight as well. He chuckled as he watched me assess my situation. _Go on, but don't move too close to the window lest someone see your eyes_ : he warned, letting go of me entirely so I could move away from him.

I felt our mind link dissolve, once again filling me with disappointment, but I was quick to recover as I crawled over to the window and knelt before the ledge. I didn't want to stand because once I had activated my oni vision I presumed I would have glowing pink eyes and I didn't want anyone to see me. I couldn't imagine it would go down too well with Kazama if someone noticed me in the window, providing how he'd reacted to me the last time I'd used my oni powers in front of a human.

I paused my thinking to concentrate on meditation.

I rested my chin softly on the window ledge and closed my eyes, letting out a deep breath. I could feel Kazama eyeballing me from behind but now that I'd done this a few times in his presence it wasn't as hard to focus, especially because he couldn't see my face.

My power manifested itself instantly. Slowly squirming in the shadows, the golden tendrils were glowing just as brightly as they always were. I selected one as soon as I'd grown comfortable with my level of concentration, tearing it away from the others and bringing it up where I could use it. It contested my grip but didn't break free.

Where I would normally press it to my skin, I instead forced it into my blood. I lead it through my body and up into my head, making each patch of skin it passed under vibrate. It was exactly what I'd done to activate my hair but this time I brought it down a different path to my eyes.

I winced as I felt them burn in their sockets but I didn't mind the discomfort because I knew it meant I'd succeeded.

I opened my eyes slowly, bracing myself for the new colours.

When my eyes were fully open I was so overwhelmed by the vast change in my vision that I forgot to even look up at the sky. I rotated a bit to peer back into the room and noticed I could see everything even though it was dark; the wooden grain of the floor, the veins under my skin and the collection of moisture my lips had left on my teacup. I noticed my eyes were glowing so brightly they were casting a pale pink light over everything I turned to.

'Chizuru, move back from the window.' His voice interrupted my fascination immediately.

As I turned to look at him, I noticed the specks of dust floating in the air around his body. He was glowing in the midst of them like a white sun, bathing everything within a 2 metre radius of him a pale silver. Every time I looked at him with these new eyes I was reminded just how beautiful he was. I felt my face softening as I examined him from head to toe, wondering how on earth such a man could exist.

Before I could admire him any longer, he appeared in front of me. The speed of his movement caused the dust particles in the air to swirl around our bodies like tiny snowflakes, dyed white from the glow he emitted. He picked up my hand softly and ran his thumb over it. 'I'm dying to know what that expression means, Chizuru. You make that face each time you look at me with those rosey eyes.' He purred, tilting my chin up so he could see them better. I couldn't look away despite how much my brain was telling me to. He was simply much too captivating.

After he realised I was too stunned to speak, he ran his spare hand through my white hair. 'I'm sure every time I see you with these features I make a similar expression, however. Now turn around and look at the sky before I lose my mind. It tests my control when you behold me like that.' He teased, pulling my face even closer to his. I swallowed as he got nearer than I'd normally let him, but he let me go before it became too intimate.

When his hands had fully retreated, he gestured for me to turn around. I went red as I managed to compose myself and I flashed him a glare before I did as he'd instructed. I pressed my cold hands to my cheeks just as I lifted my eyes to the sky.

My mouth fell open as I registered the sight before me.

The sky was no longer navy, but a rich cobalt blue. I could see so many thousands more stars than usual there were so many of them that they almost overpowered the sky. They came in all shapes and sizes, some even blazing faint blues and greens, and my mouth only gaped wider the longer I stared for.

However, after the shock of the sight had worn off, I noticed something curious about them. Not only could I see their colour better, their size and shape, but their texture too. I'd always wondered what stars were made of and I never thought I'd find out, but the longer I analysed them for the more I could see the details of their surface. They were so far away that even with my vision I couldn't see them as well as I would have liked, but it was definitely enough to distinguish they weren't simply shiny specks.

When I studied them closely I could see that they were burning. The flames covering their surface appeared hotter than anything I'd ever gazed upon, save for the sun and Kazama's eyes when he looked at me. In fact, they seemed to almost be made of…

 _Fire._

I spun around to narrow my eyes at him. He was waiting for me to say something, the same expression on his face he wore when anticipating a reaction to a provocative comment. I could see the beginning of a grin but he would wait until I'd guessed until he let it show fully.

Before I could even speak, Kazama's first clue rung through my head.

 _My clan power lies behind the fangs of a dragon._

I tried to match up what I'd seen to his clue, to decipher what he meant. What did dragons have to do with stars? Or maybe, what did dragons have to do with… fire.

Everything hit me in that moment.

Dragons breathed fire. The fire came from inside of them, from behind their fangs!

As soon as I realised this, my mind was automatically flooded with things I'd noticed but never thought twice about. The heat of his body, the time when the fire had surged when we'd fought, how every time I went to bathe and came back the fire would already be roaring. There was a reason why whenever I looked into his eyes I was reminded of flames, why he seemed to blaze in the sunlight. There was a reason why his clan colours were red and gold too.

Kazama could no longer hide his grin when I scurried to my feet and gawked at him even more intensely. 'You… it's… is it…?' I stammered, so overcome with shock and astonishment I could barely string a legible sentence together in my head let alone speak it aloud.

I stood there spluttering for a few more seconds before Kazama did something I never thought it'd see him do.

He started _laughing_.

It was even more shocking than the discovery of his clan power and I shut my mouth in order to watch. It was such a melodious sound, warmer than I thought it would be considering the usual harshness of the words that left his mouth. It completely erased the arrogance and sternness from his face, making him even more handsome than I'd thought possible.

His eyes were glowing brightly as he composed himself, his laughter fading to a smile. 'Your facial expressions never get any less amusing, Chizuru.' He chuckled, sitting back down on the cushions on the floor. He gestured for me to join him with a flick of his hand, gazing up at me with jovial eyes.

I was so stunned I barely remembered walking there and sitting down. He was watching me expectantly for half a minute before he sighed. 'Would you mind sharing the revelation that almost caused your jaw to hit the floor? I take it you have a guess for me to confirm or deny, or at least I would presume. Surely such a reaction is not just because you find me attractive.' He purred, laughter still dancing in his eyes.

I gawped at him for a few more seconds before I managed to say something. 'Well. No. Yes. Uh…I think I.. I have a guess.' I mumbled, unwilling to break our eye contact for once. I didn't want to miss this look on his face. I'd always wished he'd be merrier but now that I'd finally seen it I knew there would be no way I could stay strong for long if he was permanently like this. I would last a week at most before he'd have me wrapped around not only his little finger, but _all_ of them. I'd be at his complete mercy, in the palm of his hand, and there'd be no way I could escape once he'd caught me.

He raised an eyebrow at my very poorly executed sentence. 'You have a guess, do you now? The suspense is killing me.' He said, milking my stupor for what it was worth. I couldn't even glare at him as he teased me for being incoherent.

I sighed, frowning at him reproachfully but I wasn't angry at his joshing. 'My guess is… can you do something with… _fire_?'

He let out an amused chuckle, closing his eyes as he basked in satisfaction. 'Indeed. Although quite imprecise, you are correct.' He said, lifting his eyes to absorb the intrigue on my face.

I had about a million questions to ask him but there was so much going on in my head that I couldn't process it all. Tonight had just been one surprise after another; first I used my powers, practiced telepathy, said Kazama's first name, discovered his clan power _and_ seen him laugh. I was just about ready for bed, but I doubted I'd get any sleep anyway after all that'd happened.

I spoke once I'd gathered my brain cells. 'So what exactly can you do?' I asked, unsure on whether or not he'd answer truthfully or in riddles.

He only grew even haughtier. 'Finally, a coherent sentence.' He congratulated, earning himself a sharp glance from me. He brushed it off with a chuckle and shrugged. 'I suppose there's no reason for me to hide it from now on, is there? It was getting quite vexing having to watch the others start fires by hand.' He sighed.

I reflected back on all the times I'd seen Amagiri start the fire with flint. It must have been frustrating for Kazama to watch him do that when he knew he could start it with even less effort, and frustrating for Amagiri knowing Kazama could do it too, but I was moreso irked that he'd gone to such lengths to hide it from me. 'So you would rather light a fire from scratch than use your powers with me there?' I clarified, folding my arms. He sighed at my response but didn't seem to feel the slightest hint of remorse. 'Your reaction moments ago was worth it, but I can't deny I'm relieved you know. ' He said impishly, taking pleasure in the irritation on my face.

Before I could respond, he answered my original question. 'Members of the Kazama clan have the ability to conjure and control fire. As clan leader, I am also impervious to extreme heat, can regulate my body temperature and am capable of replenishing energy by absorbing warmth from objects and people; this includes sunlight.' He tied off his explanation with a smug smirk. I would have sighed at his arrogance if I hadn't have actually been impressed.

He allowed me a few minutes to think about everything.

I had no idea he'd been capable of all of that, but I'd expected he'd be powerful. The energy I had felt from him in his oni form had made me aware of that. It was interesting to hear all the things he could do and I was eager to see an example of his power but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of having me ask just yet. His ego had probably been sated one hundred times over tonight and I didn't need to get teased more than I knew I would over the next coming days. Not only had I let him touch me without protest on numerous occasions but I'd also reacted pretty _entertainingly_ , as Kazama would put it, to his clan power.

Suddenly Kazama's voice interrupted my thoughts. 'Now that you've guessed my clan power, I suppose I should fulfil my promise of giving you a clue to my middle power then?' He offered. I perked up immediately, although I was slightly disheartened that I would have to go through the painful process of guessing all over again.

He sighed when he saw the eagerness return to my face. 'Listen up. I need to explain a few things to you in order for this clue to make sense.' He warned. I nodded, but I wasn't sure if my brain could handle any more information today. I would try my hardest to concentrate, however, because it wasn't every day that Kazama told me something about himself.

He continued when our eyes met. 'I'm unsure if you remember, but on the night I showed you my oni form I told you that middle powers were randomly allocated at birth. Therefore, there are no limits to what you can and can't have as a middle power. Some are helpful, others virtually useless, and some can be as powerful as clan powers. But I also told you that if a child's parents are not from the same clan then they have a chance of possessing the clan powers of both parents. I'm going to explain to you how that works.'

He didn't wait for my approval before he carried on. 'As this is a very complex process, I will use you as an example as your parents did not yield from the same clan. When an oni child is born, normally it has an equal chance of inheriting either parent's clan power. You possess the Yukimura power of healing instead of your mother's clan power because of a special ritual conducted during their wedding ceremony, a procedure carried out in all weddings between onis from different clans. The reason that this ritual is practiced is to ensure that any offspring born can only inherit the clan power of the clan leader, which is your father in this case. If you had have been born with your mother's clan power then you would not have been eligible to be clan leader of the Yukimura clan. The actual process of the ritual is not necessary for you to understand my clue, but I will explain it for you anyway. Your mother would have had to drink your father's blood from his flesh at the ceremony, an act which would have made it impossible for her to bear children with the Midori clan power. Consequently, all children born of their union would only possess the power of healing gained from your father. It is important to note that it is only during the ritual that blood drinking has these effects; under any other circumstance, onis bite and drink the blood of other onis as a way of bonding. Anyway, under extremely rare circumstances it is possible for a child born from parents who have undergone this ritual to have _both_ powers. This means that for you, your middle power would be the Midori clan power and your clan power would be the Yukimura clan power. A middle power inherited this way is just as potent as a normal clan power, and so onis who inherit the clan powers of both parents are extremely formidable. As I told you on the night I changed I have only met 2 such oni.' He said, leaving my head reeling with all I processed.

I squinted at him for a while as I tried to grasp what he'd told me. So there was a ritual that made it only possible for me to have the Yukimura clan power? And it was possible I could have the Midori power too, but only as my middle power? What he said was both confusing and clear at the same time.

Once I believed I had my head wrapped around it, I prompted him further. 'So who are the two onis then?' I asked. His lips twitched into a smile. 'The first is Sen's grandmother who possesses mind control from the Shinobi clan as her clan power and stealth abilities from the Shiranui clan as her middle power. As for the second oni… well…'

Without a second of delay he had assumed the most egotistical facial expression I'd seen from him yet. The haughtiness cascaded off him in waves, almost drowning me in it, and it was so torturously narcissistic that I didn't even need to ponder what it meant.

' _You_?' I gasped.

Kazama leaned back on one arm, closing his eyes and smirking like he was being showered with praise from Heaven itself. 'You should be grateful that a man such as I am interested in taking you as my wife, Chizuru. I am one of two born in over 500 years with such a gift. If you truly knew what that meant you would already be on your knees begging me to marry you lest another woman get to me first.' He sighed dramatically, opening his eyes to bask in the knowledge that I hadn't yet shut my gaping mouth.

I would never have thought there might have actually been a genuine reason behind why he acted so superior to everyone else but it was likely because he probably _was_. He'd almost certainly raised as someone akin to royalty, and in some ways he _might_ have been if this phenomenon was as rare as he was telling me.

I remained gobsmacked as I continued to question him. 'So what clan does your middle power come from then?' I asked. He'd been waiting for this question. 'That's where you have to guess. And as there are only 8 possibilities, I will not confirm or deny your guesses until you present me with enough evidence as to why you've chosen a particular clan.' He answered immediately.

I slumped my shoulders as he'd officially initiated the guessing game. I knew he would try and hide the usage of his middle power from me even more than he probably already was in an effort to make my life as painful as possible. Why couldn't he be like a normal person and just _tell_ me these things?

Before I could think about an answer to my question, he appeared in front of me.

I squeaked as he drew me closer, tilting my head up and gazing deep into my eyes. 'Are you content that you have such a powerful and talented husband?' He purred, sliding his hand down my face. I instantly went bright red at the touch of his skin, my cheeks sweltering with heat at his proximity. He appeared amused by my embarrassment and continued to jest. 'I won't always need to resort to such comments to make your body feel this hot, Chizuru, and it won't have anything to do with my clan power either.' He said alluringly, brushing his fingers over my blazing cheeks.

I instantly pushed him away, shooting him a scathing glare, but I couldn't say anything. The humiliation from his comment coupled with the shock of what he'd told me rendered me speechless.

After a long time, he sighed. 'You look like you need some time to absorb everything that's happened tonight. Return fully to your human form, and then I will leave you to sleep.' He said, eyes smouldering.

It took a while for me to register that he'd spoken, but when he did I nodded. Slipping back into meditation, I pulled the energy from my hair, eyes and claws, and felt myself return back to normal.

I squinted as I reopened my eyes, noting I could see virtually nothing apart from the two glowing orbs in front of me.

He knew I couldn't see anything and he chuckled, reaching over to take both of my hands in his. I gasped as he pulled me off the floor to a standing position. 'You're getting faster at meditation. Soon you won't even have to do it to summon your senses.' He purred, pulling me against his body. His heat enveloped me and it was strange knowing where it came from now. If he could regulate his body temperature then I understood why he never felt cold to the touch.

I tried to spiritlessly push him away but he wouldn't budge. 'Remember, if anything happens come to my room. Do you know where it is?' He asked, acting like he couldn't feel me struggling feebly to get away. I frowned as I replied. 'Yes I do. Now let g…'

'Good.' He said, interrupting me obnoxiously. His scent was making it hard for me to think properly and I did nothing as he pressed me to him more firmly.

My heart was beating so violently that I had no doubt he could feel it against his chest. The truth was I liked being against him like this and our bodies fit so well together that it seemed natural. I didn't understand how his presence could make me feel so weak and hopeless, and yet put such a fiery heat inside me. With each passing day it grew more difficult to preserve my resolve.

After a few minutes of being held against him in silence, he pulled me away from him a little to look down at my face. I instantly blushed as I saw his smirk, but it wasn't as smug as usual. I could see scraps of authentic amusement in his eyes just like I'd seen when he'd laughed. The thought made me go even redder as I remembered how handsome he'd appeared with a sincere smile on his face. It had been remarkable how it had transformed his features, although I was relieved he wasn't like that all the time. He probably would have already stolen my heart if that was the case.

But even so, I _did_ want to see it again. I wanted to see him smile for me once more.

He trailed his soft fingers down my face, sliding them behind my head. 'I will see you in the morning. We have nothing planned for tomorrow so don't hurry to get up, as I can understand you'll still be recovering from the delight of knowing your husband is virtually royalty. When you are up and ready, come to my room.' He instructed.

I ignored his arrogant comment and nodded. 'Ok.' I said, trying not to be sucked in by the pleasant warmth of his fingers in my hair.

He smirked once more before he released me, leaving my body feeling incomplete without him against it. 'Goodnight, kitten.' He purred, moving swiftly over to the door.

I felt slightly disappointed as he opened it, taking one step into the hallway. Some part of me didn't want him to go just yet. Sure, I was so tired I was about to pass out but I didn't mind spending time with him even though he was nigh on unbearable sometimes.

Suddenly, the candle on the table beside the door ignited itself with a slight _whoosh_ sound.

I shrieked as my room was filled with a soft orange light, taking a step away from the table and almost falling over my futon and landing on my arse. I glared it in horror as I confirmed I hadn't been imagining it. My candle had just lit itself.

Kazama stepped into the hallway, turning back to grin at me superciliously. 'I wouldn't want my clumsy wife falling over anything in the dark now, would I?'

And with one last entertained regard he shut my door, leaving me alone in my room.

I was still gawking at the candle a whole minute after he'd left. I could never have prepared myself for such a sight even if he'd warned me he was going to do it. Watching fire start by itself was both petrifying and incredible, and I could tell he'd done it knowing I would have such a reaction.

When I sensed I could move, I turned hesitantly away from the candle to sort myself out. I got ready for bed quickly, getting undressed down to my underwear and brushing my hair. I was beginning to get a headache from all the crazy things that had happened today. I just couldn't wait to get into bed.

I approached the candle hesitantly and quickly blew it out, watching it for a few more seconds to make sure it wasn't going to ignite itself again, before I crawled into the futon and buried myself under the blankets.

The moonlight was streaming in through the window as I closed my eyes and tried to process the night. It would take me at least a few days to organise my thoughts. I'd learned so many new things, about both myself _and_ him.

After many minutes the exhaustion finally caught up to me.

The last thing remembered before I fell asleep was the lingering smell of his scent and the bitterness of candle smoke.


	26. Down the dark path

**Gembokkunci47** \- Thank you :D I'm happy that you enjoyed that chapter (and especially because you like long chapters). I'm always scared that some people might complain that they're too wordy and take too long read! Thank you for continuing to review my story and enjoy this new chapter :D

 **RoxyandherProxy** \- Thanks for you review :D I'm sooooo glad that you thought it was that good, it definitely contained some interesting developments! I also love this pairing (it's my favourite anime pairing everrrr)! And 4-5 hours… that's not bad. I thought it would have taken longer haha :o enjoy this new chapter :D

 **Oshiet** \- Thanks for yet another kind review, I'm glad you're still enjoying my story! Ages and ages ago when I was planning this story, the idea of fire came to me almost straight away; it definitely suits him, I agree :D I hope you enjoy this new chapter :D

* * *

 **Down the dark path**

 _When I opened my eyes, I was standing up._

 _It was dark. All I could see around me was a black forest and a winding, narrow path in front of me. There was no wind, no sounds, no people. The trees were so close together that not even grass grew at their bases. In this strange, unfamiliar world there was only silence._

 _At that stage I didn't wonder how I had got there. I was unable to even turn around to see if the path stretched out behind me as well; I just knew I had to go forward, to follow the trail until it came to an end._

 _So I did._

 _My footsteps made no sound as I started to move. The only light source was a sullen moon above my head, its yellowish glow tinting the soil a sickly shade of cream. It was smaller than the moon I was used to seeing and definitely not as bright, and it sent shivers of unease through my body. Even the trees fringing the path seemed cold and hollow, their leafless branches reaching out as if to snatch me off the track and drag me into the darkness._

 _I had no idea how long I'd been walking for when I came to a bend in the path._

 _It wasn't a large bend, but sharp. I followed it around until I was back on a straight again, expecting to be faced with yet another stretch of endless blackness, but instead I saw a faint light in the distance. It wasn't a pallid, nauseating light like the one from the moon, but pure and full of radiance._

 _Before I knew it I had started running._

 _I could feel the light calling me, beckoning me closer to it. I had no clue what it was but I didn't care. I could feel its warmth already even though it remained so far away and it was only at that moment that I realised how cold I was, how much I needed that heat. My desperation to reach it only encouraged me to run faster._

 _As I came closer, I was forced to slow down. I noticed that the path had split in two from that point on, two roads identical in size and shape. They both had trees framing their sides and were narrow, but one was filled with light and the other with shadows. I noticed that in the brighter path, the one on the left, the trees were beginning to grow leaves. In this world of colourlessness, that green was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen._

 _As I drew closer to the two paths, I noticed what the radiant light had been._

 _It was a sun. There was a sun hanging in the sky above the path to my left, blazing ardently and casting a soft warm light over the path beneath it. I sighed as I soaked it in, unable to resist the peace that it instilled deep within my heart. There was something so comforting in its heat, in the way that the light seemed to envelop me._

 _The moon was drooping over the path on my right, devoid of anything even resembling warmth and harmony. As I stared into the darkness at the end of that path I felt hopelessness. I sensed that if I went that way I couldn't come back._

 _Flicking my eyes between paths, I realised I was faced with a choice._

 _I was automatically drawn to the path of light. Not only was it warm and bright, but when I looked at it I was no longer scared and confused about where I was anymore, no longer filled with a desire to return to wherever I'd come from. The sun was blazing brighter now as if it was trying to coax me to take the first step and I didn't even give the dark path a second glace as I readied myself to move forward._

 _However, before I lifted my foot off the ground to start walking I saw something rush past my ankle._

 _When I looked up in shock, I saw a dark shape come to a stop before the moonlit path. It sat there placidly for a while, the darkness of its fur melting into the shadows behind it. It didn't move, nor could I make out exactly what shape it had, but I could sense it wanted me to follow. It was only when it turned to face me that I realised what it was._

 _A wolf._

 _It raised from its sitting position to stand on all four legs, its eyes gleaming, and then it turned to enter._

' _Wait!' I called out, my voice a lot quieter than I remembered. My words seemed to drop like stones, not carrying very far in the density of the air around me, but the wolf seemed to hear anyway. It turned back around to regard me with curiosity but seemed virtually unmoved by my plea._

 _Without another moment of hesitation, it had turned to run down the dark path._

' _Stop!' I called again, this time pursuing it. I broke into a run after the animal, watching with a strange feeling of pain in my heart as I saw the light of the other path fade from view. I didn't know why it hurt me so much to leave it behind. I felt like I had made a mistake, but I sensed it was already too late. It had been too late as soon as I'd taken the first step._

 _The blurry form of the wolf remained out of my reach even though I was running at full speed. Its form was slowly disappearing into the murky horizon, moving much too fast for me to keep up. I didn't even know why I was chasing after it. I had done so blindly, almost instinctually._

 _My lungs were burning as it finally disappeared from my sight but I continued to run after it. There was only one way it could have gone, down the path I was on, and I was going to pursue it until I caught up._

 _The longer I ran for, the more I noticed the trail was getting narrower. Soon enough I was having to dodge the branches actively as they started to encroach on my space. They got caught in my hair and clothes as I pushed past them, their twigs like thin fingers. I brought up my forearms to shield my face from their sharp ends as the path converged even more and slowed me right down to a brisk walk. Most of the moon's rays had been blocked out by the thickness of the forest but I could still feel the soft dirt of the trail under my feet._

 _After a few minutes, I was having to push the branches out of my way in order to continue. I questioned why I was still trying to progress even though I was now having to climb my way through the boughs, but the truth was I didn't know. It was like my body had a mind of its own. If I had have been thinking clearly then I wouldn't have gone down this path in the first place._

 _I forcefully shoved myself out of the last of the forest and landed face first onto the dirt._

 _When I had gotten to my knees I saw that I had arrived at a small clearing on the edge of a giant cliff._

 _I hesitantly stood up, not thinking to brush the dirt off my body, and I edged closer to the fall. There appeared to be a giant ocean of black ink stretching out as far as the eye could see, the crests of the waves outlined with the light of the sombre moon. The sight filled me with such a potent feeling of terror that I was frozen in place as I stared into its obsidian depths. It was many, many metres below but it seemed to already be engulfing me. I felt like I couldn't breathe._

 _No sooner had I thought that when I heard a low, guttural growl._

 _I spun around, turning to face the noise, and the sight caused my skin to crawl._

 _There were wolves spilling out from the forest, one by one. Their callous eyes were hazy with bloodlust and saliva dripped from their jaws at the anticipation of a kill, making my whole body tremble with fear. They were coming closer to me, stalking low to the ground and I knew in that moment that I could do one of two things._

 _I could allow myself to be taken by them, or I could jump._

 _My heart was pounding in my chest as I mulled over both options, finding neither one better than the other. I was running out of time to decide for myself, however, because there wasn't much space separating me from the wolf at the front of the pack. I found myself subconsciously moving backwards to put as much distance between us as possible, too terrified to even scream._

 _As I took another step back, I felt the edge of the cliff crumbling under my weight._

 _I cried out as I tried to regain my balance but the wolf at the front had decided to take advantage of my wavering concentration. It snapped at my shins and I twisted back from it, losing my footing in the process._

 _I screamed as I slipped off the cliff, feeling the cold air whistle through my clothes as the wolves and the forest disappeared from my view. I fell deeper and deeper into the blackness, seeing the moon above me even though dread was clouding my vision. It was now the only thing I could see._

 _Sallow and vile, it almost seemed to be laughing at me as I descended into the darkness._

* * *

I shot out of bed, flicking the blankets in all directions as I rose.

I was drenched in my own sweat. My heart was pounding, my throat tight from fear. I was panting as I looked around the room, trying to work out where I was. I was staring at strange walls, an unfamiliar roof above my head and a different view outside my window. I could feel the panic rising with me and the tears stinging in my eyes, and I wasn't even sure whose name to call out.

After a few minutes when my fear had subsided, it hit me; I was travelling to Ezo with Kazama and we were staying in an inn for a few nights.

I let out a relieved sigh, but was still heavily disturbed by what I'd seen. I wasn't a stranger to vivid dreams but that one had been particularly realistic. I could still feel the twigs scraping against my skin and see that strange, ominous moon when I closed my eyes. The last time I'd had such frightening nightmares was when I'd first entered the Shinsengumi. For almost three months after my arrival at the compound I'd been plagued with dreams of monsters with red eyes and bloodstained uniforms, but I'd had dreams about Hijikata and the others too. The most common ones had involved me running through the endless maze of Kyoto's streets in an effort to escape them because they were going to kill me. Sometimes they caught me, sometimes they didn't, but it was the fear of the chase that had been the most terrifying part.

I took my hand off my chest and let out a deep breath, getting up to gather my blankets. I put them all back on my bed but couldn't lay down again because they were too drenched in my sweat to be comfortable.

Kodo used to tell me that all dreams had meanings. I always questioned him as a child as to why I got nightmares all the time and he'd never answer me, only tell me not to worry and that maybe the answer would come to me in time. Eventually I stopped asking him about them because not only would his answers be non-committal but the dreams themselves were often perplexing and traumatic. As I'd grown older, I realised that the scenes of fire and blood were snippets of faded memories.

However, I still believed him when he said that there were meaning behind dreams; after all, it was the person's mind that created them. But when I thought about possible reasons for the nightmare I'd just had my mind was blank. I remembered everything so clearly. Running down the gloomy path at the start, the option between the two trails, and the choice I'd made to follow the wolf down the dark path. What _had_ that dream meant?

Deciding I wasn't going to be sleeping anytime soon, I pulled myself up off my futon and wandered over to the window ledge once I'd wrapped my cape around my body.

It seemed to be about 4am. The sky was still quite dark and the moon was shining brightly, immersing the rooves of the buildings around me in silver light. The moon in my dream had been the complete opposite of this one and I immediately ran my hands over my bare arms to get rid of the dreadful shiver that went down my spine as I remembered it. I didn't want to think of that dream anymore, at least not at this time of the night.

As I mulled over another topic to keep my mind busy, the events of last night came rushing into my head.

Even now I was having trouble believing I'd finally figured out Kazama's clan power. Fire was such a suitable ability for him given his bright features and capricious nature and I was definitely looking forward to seeing more examples of it after what I'd seen last night. It was true it had scared me at first when he'd lit that candle but I had to admit it was pretty impressive. He'd must have known the hint he gave would be the one to give me the answer, as the way he'd grinned at me when I'd turned back from the sky to gape at him suggested he knew I'd figured it out.

I was glad his clue allowed me to use my oni vision. If it hadn't have been for his presence, I would have gladly stargazed all night. The stars had been more beautiful than I'd imagined, and I knew from now on that whenever I saw them I would be reminded of Kazama.

As I gazed up at them longingly, I realised I needed to see them again. I needed to see them burning.

I didn't know what Kazama would do if he found out I was going to use my powers unsupervised but I supposed it was ok. I hadn't used any of my powers without his guidance since my failed attempt at transforming but I knew how to somewhat manage them now. I knew I wouldn't lose control, nor was I afraid I would, but I did feel a little bit… rebellious.

I pushed aside my guilt and closed my eyes.

When I'd calmed down, I was able to see my power there. The threads of light seemed to be moving more lethargically than ever, as if they were just as unimpressed as me to be awake at this time. It was amusing to thing about the possibility that even my power wasn't pleased to be up early.

I tentatively reached out to select a golden tendril. It fought me ineffectually as I picked it up but definitely not enough to escape, and I drew it out of the darkness and closer to the lining of my flesh. I remained calm as I did it, finding it both harder and easier to do it without Kazama watching me. On one hand I was relieved that he wasn't here scrutinising my every move but there was still some fear that something could go wrong and he wouldn't be here to help me. I trusted my abilities now more than ever but the fact remained that there was still so much I didn't understand.

I grew more at ease as I pushed the power through my blood and up into my head. I could feel the smooth arterial lining of my veins as I coaxed the power through into my skull and composed myself before I continued down the pathway to my eyes. I pushed the tendril into the optic nerve and let it go, sighing in relief as my eyes started to burn.

I had done it. I had done it by myself.

When I opened my eyes, I was swamped with both awe and pride. Everything was how it had been last night; sharper, brighter and so much more stunning.

I peered down at myself to make sure I hadn't initiated any unpleasant side effects and upon seeing I was intact, I couldn't prevent a giddy smile from spreading across my face. I moved back from the window to sit on the floor so no one could see, although I doubted anyone would be walking around at this time of the night anyway.

After I'd arranged myself, I turned my gaze to the sky and rested my head softly against the window frame as I drank in the view.

Once again the sight transfixed me. The sky appeared to be a deep blue ocean filled with silver orbs, a sea of stars. I could see white flames lapping over their surfaces and the slight differences in their colours. Some were tinged with blues and purples, others were slightly redder. They were so tiny that I couldn't see as much as I would have liked but I could tell just how far away they were. Possibly thousands, maybe millions of kilometres away. It was almost too much for my brain to process.

I sighed gently as I observed them.

I was grateful to Kazama for teaching me how to use my abilities. I really was. All the new things I'd experienced and all the confidence I'd gained had come from him. In the Shinsengumi I hadn't been allowed to do anything other than clean, cook and stay put. At first it was because they didn't trust me and then it was because they didn't want me to get hurt. They hadn't taught me how to use a sword other than the few lessons I'd had with Saito, they hadn't let me go outside the compound unescorted even when they knew I would no longer run away and they'd rarely let me run errands in the city for them because I was either too slow or I might become a liability. I hadn't even been allowed to see Sen without one of them hanging around keeping a watchful eye on me. Sure, they were only doing it to keep me safe but… I realised I'd almost been suppressed.

But here with Kazama, he'd done nothing but support me. He was helping me to become more competent. He was allowing me to grow closer to reaching my full potential. He was just as protective of me as they were, if not more, but he wasn't using that as an excuse to prevent me from developing myself and my abilities.

What _would_ the Shinsengumi have done if I had have started learning about my abilities whilst living with them? Amagiri said that Sen had been hesitant to teach me because she feared it would create strain between the men and I. I didn't want to believe that, but I wondered if deep down it unnerved them that I was an oni.

That I was like Kazama.

I didn't like that thought. I doubted they were so shallow as to dislike me because of something like that, especially because most of them weren't human themselves anymore. Even Hijikata had drank the Ochimizu and sealed his fate as a rasetsu.

But possibly it was disconcerting for them to know I was like the very man who'd tried to kidnap me so many times. What would they do when they found out that Kazama and I had travelled together for so long and that he'd taught me more about who I truly was? I was very slowly becoming less like them and more like… well, who I was _supposed_ to be.

I knew I could never again see Kazama as a cold-hearted monster. In fact, the knowledge that I once had thought of him like that made me feel guilty. There was no doubt he had his intolerable moments but he wasn't evil or cold, even though he may have been less than sympathetic to the human race. The things that had disturbed me in the past had only done so because I hadn't understood him; like his common bouts of silence, for example. I'd used to think it was because he didn't want to talk to me or because he was mad but I'd come to realise he did that when he was thinking. It was only a reflection of his intelligence.

Of course there were the other parts of him that proved to me he wasn't all bad. He knew more about how I was feeling than I did most of the time. He could always pick up when I was sad and he did his best to comfort me in his own way. He had shown me he wasn't entirely selfish through giving me his dumplings and filling up my flask every day, he always cleared the tears off my face when I cried… he'd even stopped calling me 'woman'. There were so many other examples that I couldn't list them all even if I tried, and I just knew there was so much more to him than I'd already seen. I knew that he would continue to surprise me, to prove to me over and over again that my initial judgement of him was wrong. Even when he'd laughed last night… I'd never seen that before and the truth was it had rattled me a bit. Maybe that just showed he was becoming more comfortable with me too.

Perhaps just as I was opening up to him, he was opening up to me.

I had only been thinking deeply for a few extra minutes when out of nowhere I heard a soft scratching noise.

I spun around and shot to my feet, almost falling back out the window in shock. I stared around the room to search for the source but I found nothing. My room was as empty as it had been when I'd woken up.

I stood there frozen for a while before I heard it again; a gentle scraping, coming from inside my cupboard. I was so terrified that I was completely immobile for a few seconds just like I'd been in my dream when the wolves were closing in on me. I couldn't speak or think about what I wanted to do. I was having an internal battle with myself to try and snap my mind out of panic mode.

When the sound occurred once more, I stared at my cupboard doors. I was half expecting something to burst out and attack me. I was petrified and it was made worse by all the possibilities my mind was conjuring up.

Was there someone in my cupboard?

The thought only made it harder for me to breathe. I'd been scarred for life after all the things that had happened to me in the past with the rasetsus. I knew they could be anywhere, and they were more likely to be in this village than anywhere we'd been before because we were getting closer to Aomori, where we would board the boat to Ezo. Kazama had said the closer we got to the war the more of them there would be and it was probable that we would start to see them even on the roads in a few weeks.

I gasped as I heard a tiny creak, like something was shifting behind the doors waiting to pounce.

Before I knew it I'd pulled my pants and singlet off the ground, letting my cape fall to floor. I bound past the cupboard doors quickly and threw open the door to my room, leaving it like that as I bolted down the hallway.

My heart was pounding.

How did someone get into my room?

Well, it wasn't a question of how since my window had been left open all night, but _why_. I couldn't believe I'd been so stupid as to leave my window like that! A few minutes later and I would have paid the price, maybe with my life.

I pulled my pants on in the hallway and slipped my singlet on too, not caring that I could have been caught in just my underwear about 5 seconds ago. My heart hadn't slowed down since I'd left and I could feel the heat dissipating from my face the more terrified I became. I didn't want to think about what would have happened to me if I hadn't have been awake and heard them. All I knew was that Kazama wouldn't go easy on the person when they were found.

I came up to the door of his room, almost skidding to a stop, and I wasted no time in trying to attract his attention.

'Kazama-san.' I said, trying to keep my voice quiet but it was hard when I was panting so hard. When he didn't answer I turned to look behind me to make sure I wasn't being followed.

I didn't know whether to wait for his approval or to barge in, but it was taking all of my self-control not to do the latter. I felt like the walls were closing in on me and I knew my dream had made this situation a whole lot worse. This was not something I wanted to happen after such a horrible nightmare.

I knocked on the doorframe. 'Kazama-san. Can I come in?' I whispered, taking another quick look over my shoulder. I had never needed to go into his room while travelling before because nothing happened but I was too scared at the moment to be embarrassed about it.

When he didn't answer again, I couldn't wait any longer. I pushed the door open and practically leapt inside, shutting it behind me as I let out a deep breath.

I refocused in order to search the room for him, and I found him sleeping soundly in his futon. I was surprised he'd managed to stay asleep after I'd made such a racket running down the hallway, knocking on his door and calling his name. His window was closed and locked, his belongings in a neat pile beside his bed and his western clothes neatly folded on the table beside the door. The setup of his room was exactly like mine, except for the fact it didn't smell like dust. It was filled with the scent of autumn; his scent. It was remarkable how his odour infected any room no matter how long he'd been in there for.

I made my way over to him and knelt down beside his body. He was so beautiful when he slept that I almost didn't want to disturb him. Just like when he laughed last night, he had no traces of displeasure on his face and I found my muscles relaxing, enthralled by the resplendence of his glow.

It was then that I realised I hadn't deactivated my oni vision.

Quickly retreating back into meditation, I pulled the tendril of energy out of my eye sockets and released it amongst the others. I felt the power in my eyes fade, relieved that I'd noticed before he'd seen. I would have definitely gotten scolded for that.

As soon as I'd come back from meditation I pressed my hand to his arm as I tried to rouse him. 'Kazama-san.' I murmured.

He frowned a little but didn't do much apart from that, so I shook him gently. 'Kazama-san!'

When I said his name again, his blazing ruby eyes rolled open to stare up at me. He showed no signs of recognition or alarm so I presumed he was still very much half asleep. He was strangely attractive with this dazed, groggy expression on his face. His hair was sticking out more than usual as he rolled over properly onto his back to gaze up at me.

He blinked his tired eyes a few times before he finally spoke. 'Chizuru?' He mumbled, his voice huskier than I'd ever heard it. I cringed as it caused me to shudder and I found my face growing hot even though I should have still been afraid. I blushed as he reached out to run his hands down my face. 'To what do I owe the pleasure? Were you lonely sleeping by yourself?' He asked hoarsely, once again sending cascades of tingles down my body from his voice. He was slowly adopting a sly, tired smile and I couldn't believe that only mere seconds after waking up he could say things like that.

I turned away from him as I saw the impish, drowsy look on his face. 'No. I came to…'

'I know _exactly_ why you came here.' He suddenly purred, not letting me finish before he sat up, running his hands though his messy hair before he fixed me with a wicked smile. 'I can't promise I'll be gentle, though. You've certainly made me wait a long time.'

I went even redder as I realised what he was implying but I was quick to dismiss it. 'Kazama-san. I'm being serious. There…'

Before I could finish, two strong arms wrapped themselves around my body and pulled me down beside him.

I let out a small squeal as he dragged me under the blankets before I could fight him off. 'Kazama-san!' I gasped as he pulled me harder against his torso. I forgot all about my fear as his warmth enveloped me and he wrapped his arms around me tighter, grinning devilishly. 'I'm being serious too, Chizuru. This is punishment for interrupting a good dream, although it's not unlike what's happening now. Maybe we should continue from where we left off?' He suggested, the seductive tone of his voice even more potent than normal.

I went red, about to reply, but he pressed a finger to my lips. 'At least let me entertain the fantasy for a while, kitten.' He chuckled, leaning over me and grinning as he shifted my body more underneath his. I squeaked as he lowered himself down, but our chests had only just touched when I pressed my hands to his shoulders to stop him from progressing. 'Kazama-san… there's someone in my room.' I practically spluttered, finding it harder by the second to find the determination to resist. It was impossible to concentrate underneath him no matter what had just happened.

He stopped instantly, all smugness disappearing from his face as his eyes acquired a dangerous glint. 'Are you sure?' He asked, frowning down at me. I nodded, glancing away as I noticed his eyes flicker down to my lips briefly. 'Yes, in my cupboard.' I murmured, finding it hard to meet his gaze in this position.

Sighing, he pushed the blankets off us and got up.

My body felt a lot colder without him on top of me but at least it was easier to concentrate. It would take a long time for me to recover from this embarrassment, and possibly even longer to work out why I'd been so disappointed when he'd pulled away.

As he stood, he seemed to be displeased. 'Here I was thinking you'd come to me because you were craving my company. I will be sure to unleash my disappointment on whoever is stupid enough to enter my wife's bedroom.' He muttered, reaching down to pick up his sword and securing it to his waist. I could see his yukata had come undone to expose some of his pale chest and I looked away demurely as he straightened it. He beheld me as he tightened the cord, smirking slightly as he noticed the colour of my cheeks.

Once he'd finished, he started to head for the door. 'Stay here and don't move. I'll be back soon.' He commanded.

I wasn't pleased with his request and I got up off his futon too, giving him a steadfast look. 'I want to come with you. I won't get in the way.' I promised, putting my arms up to my chest to cover myself as I remembered I was only wearing a singlet.

He watched me try to shield myself for a while before he sighed. 'Very well. But stick close to me.'

I nodded and he strolled over to his door. I followed him out into the hallway, my heart pounding. I had no idea who was there but they would definitely regret sneaking into my room when he found them. They might have fled after I'd left which would have been the smart thing to do, but I knew Kazama would be able to track them down by their scent.

We continued down the hallway, rounding the corner which led to my room.

He was walking in front of me as regally as ever, his bare feet making no sound on the floorboards. He didn't seem on edge about the situation, only a little annoyed that the one time I'd come to his room it had been because someone had been in mine. If I hadn't have had a legitimate reason for going there I knew he would not have let me leave, but even so he wouldn't have done anything to me. He might have just trapped me in his futon for the rest of the night which would have been humiliating enough.

Finally we came to the door of my room.

Kazama gave me a frown that told me to stay put at the doorway and I nodded as he entered. I was anxious as I watched him approach the cupboard cautiously, tilting his head slightly. That was the cue that told me he'd activated his oni hearing to listen for what might have been inside, but even after a few seconds he didn't draw his sword. In fact he didn't even appear to be concerned.

I watched with curiosity as his frown grew deeper and deeper.

All of a sudden, he turned to raise an eyebrow at me. 'Come here.' He said.

I flinched at his command but crept inside my room, quickly moving over to stand behind him. 'Can you hear them?' I whispered, peering up at him in the darkness. He didn't answer me as he reached out to grab the handle of the left cupboard door.

My whole body tensed up as he opened it. I expected to see a rasetsu, a soldier… but there was no one.

Kazama pulled the door open wider just as a small ball of grey fur raced out of the darkness and headed straight for exit of my room. We both watched the mouse scurry off into the hallway and not one of us spoke. I could feel the heat entering my cheeks at an alarming rate, the reality of the situation hitting me all at once.

I had woken him up just to save me from a _mouse_?

Just as I thought that, he turned his whole body to face me. He didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. I could sense the amusement rolling off him in waves and I knew the only reason why he hadn't spoken yet was because he was trying to figure out what comment would mortify me the most.

I closed my eyes, deciding it would be too painful for him to have the first word.

I swallowed. 'You can go now.' I said, almost a whisper.

Kazama instantly broke his silence, a wide grin splitting across his face. 'I don't think it's safe yet, Chizuru. That mouse looked pretty dangerous.' He said, putting his hand on his hip. I sighed, keeping my eyes closed so I would be spared from his expression. I was beyond embarrassed that I'd gotten so worked up over a mouse and had even gotten Kazama to come sort it out.

Kazama started chuckling. 'I think it's best if I stay with you tonight just in case it decides to come back. Who knows what horrible things it would do to you if I left you alone. I'm just glad you're safe.' He said humorously, reaching out to slide his hands over my cheek. As soon as he touched me I pushed him away, turning my head to the side so he couldn't see my red face. 'Very funny. But you can really go now.' I muttered, crossing my arms. This was the worst night ever. First a nightmare, and now this.

His chuckling got more intense until I thought he was going to start laughing again. It seemed for a while he was incapable of speaking and I pressed my hands to my face as he attempted to find composure. I was _never_ going to live this down. Not now, not in 100 years. Of all the people to have been with me, I couldn't believe it had been Kazama. No doubt he would make sure to bring it up at least 3 times a week for the rest of time.

He let out a deep sigh when he'd finished tittering. 'You're lucky you have such a competent husband here to save you, Chizuru. This room reeks of fear. You must have been truly petrified.' He teased. I grit my teeth, pushing his hand off me as he tried to touch me again. 'I'm fine now, so you can leave. I'm going to bed.' I muttered, taking a step back from him. It was likely the nightmare was the majority of what he was sensing, but I hadn't known he could _smell_ fear; unless he was just making it up.

He tilted my chin up to stare directly at his face. 'I'm very much unwilling to leave you by yourself after that, I must admit. To think such a vicious creature was in the same room as my precious bride; the thought gives me chills. Lay down, and I will stay until you've fallen asleep.' He ordered, letting me go so I could move back to my futon on my own. However, I just stared at him. 'I… I don't need you to stay.' I asserted, embarrassed that he'd even suggested it. I already knew his presence would only make it harder for me to sleep anyway.

He wasn't taking no for an answer it seemed, and he quickly scooped me into his arms.

I squealed as he held me tightly against his chest like how he'd done when we'd been about to jump off the cliff. 'You don't need to act brave for me, kitten. I understand that after such an ordeal you would have trouble getting back to sleep, so I will stay to protect you.' He said valiantly, like he was doing me a favour.

I was having a hard time figuring out if he was being serious. Surely he wouldn't actually stay until I'd gone back to sleep? I would have _more_ trouble with him in my room!

Softly, he laid me down on my futon. His eyes were brimming with mirth as he went to tuck me in, but I impulsively recoiled from his gesture. 'Really, you can go. I am more than capable of falling asleep on my own.' I attested, pulling my blankets away from him and hugging them to my chest. He only chuckled, and as quick as lightning my blankets were plucked from my hands and back into his. 'Nonsense. Now lay down.' He directed, not giving me much choice now that he was in possession of my blankets. I knew he wouldn't surrender them without a fight and it would be a fight I couldn't win.

I sighed, flopping down in my futon and turning away from him in mortification.

He was chuckling softly as he lay the blankets over my body. He pulled them right up to my neck and made sure all of me was covered before he sat cross legged beside me. I was so humiliated that not only had I been petrified by such a harmless creature, but that Kazama was in my room while I was trying to sleep. His presence was far from sleep inducing.

Almost as if to prove me wrong, his warm hand slid over my hair.

I bit my tongue in order not to scold him as he ran it through his fingers, from the scalp to the ends. He was always so gentle when he touched me and I was frustrated that it made me feel like this. My brain shut off every time he put his hands on my skin. It felt like I was melting inside.

His graceful fingers slowly moved to my face and he started to caress my cheek, following a similar path as he had when I'd let him touch me in my oni form. Even in this body he knew exactly what to do to make it hard for me to keep a level head and I found my eyes closing after a few minutes, allowing myself to surrender for just a few seconds.

I would stop him soon, I told myself, but as the minutes went on I became less and less determined to stand firm.

He didn't speak even though my compliance must have pleased him, but I was grateful for the silence. The truth was it hurt my pride that he affected me like this. I was in a continuous state of quandary, reluctant to fully submit but unable to resist either. I could feel the fight in me every time we interacted, the internal battle between what I wanted and what I thought was right. It _shouldn't_ have been right to do this, so then why did it feel that way? Was I tempting fate by letting him get to me like this? Not only did I fear my heart was wavering, but I was scared that by the time we reached Ezo I wouldn't be able to fight it anymore. Already I was crumbling under the heat of his touch and I had no idea how much longer I could keep this up before I conceded.

Not only that, but the fact that I was in love with Hijikata only made it so much worse. I loved him just as much as I did the last time I saw him, I knew that for sure, but if I ended up developing feelings for Kazama too then I would have to choose between them. If I loved them both the same then I would have to base my decision on not just love, but on compatibility, and that would bring me to the question I found myself asking more and more; would I be happy with a human?

I hated thinking about it, because deep down I already knew the answer.

When Kazama moved his fingers from my cheeks to my hair it was a welcome distraction. He was as gentle as ever as his fingertips made circles on my scalp, softly at first and then becoming firmer. I opened my eyes briefly at the change and noticed my vision was becoming blurry. Despite what I'd originally thought I _was_ falling asleep.

I pouted a little before I shut my eyes again and decided not to think anymore. The sooner I slept, the sooner he would leave. I knew he wouldn't take advantage of me in my sleep even if we were alone. I had once questioned whether or not he'd be the type of man to force himself upon a woman but I knew now that he wasn't like that at all, and I had no doubt if I told him that's what I'd thought in the past he would definitely be as insulted as he had during our fight. He was both persistent and suggestive, but he would never, _ever_ do that to me.

I let out a subconscious sigh as I felt reality slipping away slowly as each minute passed. The ebb and flow of his caresses was coaxing me closer and closer to my dreams, and all that had happened that night caught up to me. It was now nearing 5am and I was exhausted from the fear of my nightmare and of the mouse incident.

All I wanted to do was sleep, even if it was by Kazama's touch that I was able to.

And just as his fingertips slid across my cheekbones, I did just that.


	27. Part 1- Just you and I

**EVERYONE, ONCE YOU'VE READ THIS CHAPTER CAN YOU PLEASE READ THE NOTES AT THE END OF IT. BUT ONLY AFTER YOU'VE READ IT. Also I'm sorry this chapter took so long #unilife**

 **Gembokkunci47-** Ooooh very perceptive! I was hoping you guys would try and decipher what the dream meant as well as all the little clues I put inside of it. Who knows, maybe the dream might be brought up in a future chapter… :o I'm happy you found that chapter funny :D I was trying to chuck a little bit of humour into it to make it a well rounded story rather than totally serious haha. You'll find out Kazama's reasoning for why he didn't wake up straight away in this chapter. As for what will happen in regards to Sun vs Moon well… you'll just have to wait and see! Thanks once again for your review :D

 **Manu** \- Haha it reminds me of that scene too! I had to go and watch the scene again when you mentioned it :D Kazama's certainly Chizuru's hero, that's for sure :D Thanks for the review

 **RoxyandherProxy** \- Thank you endlessly for your continuous kind reviews, they really make my day :D I'm so happy that you find my story so engaging, and I hope from here on out it only gets moreso :D enjoy this new chapter

 **OniPrincess** \- Thanks for your review haha, definitely the longest one I've had :D I'll go through what you said one at a time haha. First of all, thanks for liking my story! I gave Chizuru 4 horns because **in this story** that means she's a pureblood; this is also why Kazama has 4 horns. Sen will have 3 because her great grandmother mated with a human. I don't actually know why in the otome games she has 2.

I am planning on writing no less than 45 chapters for this story BUT I will also have at least 4 stories in total with this pairing. So not everything (including their marriage, etc) will occur in this story because I'll have separate stories for that. Also, I doubt I will do the _whole_ story in Kazama's point of view because it would take a long, long, long time to rewrite them all so maybe at the end when I've finished I will do a few chapters from his point of view at the end. I'll probably create a poll so people can vote for the chapters they want to be rewritten in his perspective.

And don't stress, I don't plan on stopping this fanfic until it's finished because 1. I also hate it when authors do that and 2. Because I've already planned everything out and am passionate about this story! As for your points on how far you want me to go after their marriage, I'm unsure at the moment how far I will go but you will find out when I actually write the stories haha

Also, thanks for all your suggestions regarding my fic! I will keep them in mind. Also it's important to note that Chizuru ONLY has the Yukimura clan power of healing, not her mother's. This means she is unable to do everything her mother could do, which includes shapeshifting (so unfortunately she can't turn into a cat haha).

As for Kazama's premonition marking/dragon thing, in addition to how many Shinsengumi are alive (if any), etc, I'm keeping that a secret deliberately and you will find out these things as the story progresses but I can say he doesn't have a dragon marking, nor does he have a dragon aura. You'll find out his marking within the next few chapters… heheheehhehe

And yes, my native language is English and I've been writing stories for a really long time, as long as I can remember (so I've had lots of practice haha). Unfortunately I'm not doing story requests though because I'm working on this story and also because I need to have a passion for what I write or I find it really difficult to create things like this. I love Hakuoki and Kazama/Chizuru which is why I make sure I write them well.

Thanks for your review and I hope you like this new chapter!

 **Cassiel** \- Haha ca fait longtemps ! Tes reviews me manquaient! Jespere que tes etudes vont bien, et ne stresse pas si tu n'as pas le temps de le lire ou laisser les reviews. Prends ton temps, je continue l'histoire en tout cas :D En ce qui concerne l'histoire, je voudrais bien ecrire leur marriage, les bebes, bien sur! Il y aura au moins 4 histoires avec ce couple que j'ecrira, dont lequel No Longer Strangers est le premier. Merci de tes gentils mots - ca me fait plaisir que tu aimes les caracteres et l'histoire :D jespere aussi que tu aimes cet nouvel chapitre !

 **Thenamemercy** \- Awww :D Thank you for such a nice review, it really makes it so much easier to write this story when I know people enjoy it so much! I hope you like this new chapter (keep in mind it will be split into two parts, the next part will be uploaded soon). Thanks again :D

* * *

 **Part 1- Just you and I**

I rolled over onto my back, stretching in my futon as I awoke.

The first thing I noticed was how good I felt. It appeared as though a long sleep and a roof above my head was exactly what my body had been craving. I'd been dying for a sleep in for what felt like forever and it was better than I remembered to be allowed to stay in bed past the break of dawn. Normally by now we would have already been travelling for a good few hours.

Once I'd woken up a little more, the memory of last night was quick to dampen my good mood. I groaned aloud as I remembered the humiliation I'd endured not only from my fear of a mouse but also how I'd let myself fall asleep to Kazama's caresses. No doubt he would be even more smug than usual and I was sure to pay the price for my lack of resistance. I wondered exactly what he had planned for us today, if anything at all, but he may have just decided that he would spend the entire afternoon amusing himself by teasing me. He would be unrelenting with his mortifying comments, I could just feel it.

I sighed and dragged myself enthusiastically from my futon, trudging over to the window. There were so many people on the streets below and it was kind of amazing how an event like the festival tomorrow could transform a town. I'd obviously never been here before but I predicted that at any other time of the year it was a tranquil place. I always liked the peace and quiet but I was excited that my birthday would fall on a day where there would be lots going on. I'd decided I wasn't going to tell any of them about it as I'm sure they probably wouldn't have cared, but I was disappointed that I wouldn't be able to celebrate such an occasion with the Shinsengumi. Tomorrow would be the first birthday in 5 years that I hadn't spent in their company.

When I looked up at the sky, I noticed it was almost midday. I bit my lip and turned away from the window to start getting ready. I hadn't intended to sleep in so late but I'd really needed it. Besides, Kazama had told me there was no rush and to go to his room when I was ready.

I turned to scour the floor for my cape, tunic and shirt. I frowned as I couldn't see them where I'd left them, and checked under my futon and through my blankets but they were nowhere to be seen. As I spun around on the spot looking for my evasive clothes I noticed that the table Kazama and I had used for dining last night had also been removed from my room.

Maybe when he'd left last night he'd cleared my room out and put my clothes away in the process?

I sighed and opened my cupboard, checking it quickly for mice, before I started to search for my clothes. To my dismay, there was nothing there that resembled a cape, tunic and shirt. Not even my boots were inside.

I was just about to close the doors when I saw a piece of clothing I didn't recognise on the top shelf. Curious, I pulled it out and into the light. It was smooth and soft, with an expensive feel.

As I let it fall open, I realised it was a kimono.

Its fabric was mottled with red and oranges, the colours of autumn, and it was so beautiful that for a few seconds I couldn't even ponder where it had come from. It was trimmed with black and had a black obi to go with it, embroidered with Koi fish in golden thread. I noticed too that there were two black slip-on shoes hidden in its folds, also stitched with the same pattern as the obi.

I laid it out on my futon just as the reality hit me.

This was Kazama's doing.

I pressed a hand to my forehead in frustration. I had no idea where he'd gotten such a beautiful kimono from in such short notice but I shouldn't have put it past him to do something like this. He was so irritatingly efficient at planning that he might have found a way to order it even before the _others_ had known we would pass through this village. He would have stolen my clothes because he knew I wouldn't have worn it otherwise; proof that he knew me better than I realised. If I was quick I could run to his room in just pants and a singlet and try and get my clothes back but I already knew he wouldn't give them to me, and to be honest I wasn't that keen on the idea of running out into a busy inn wearing something so revealing. It had been bad enough that Kazama had seen me in just a singlet last night.

I immediately blushed as I remembered him pulling me into his futon. I was trying desperately not to romanticise about the suppleness and warmth of his skin but every day it was getting harder not to. His body was always so hot, no matter where we were, and I was kind of shocked how I didn't figure out his clan power earlier. There was no way someone could be so hot-blooded and have eyes that scorching just by coincidence.

Letting out an unladylike sigh, I decided I would just put it on.

I stripped down to my underwear and placed my clothes on the floor as I leant down to prepare the kimono. I slipped the fabric onto my body and admired the delicacy of the cloth before I wrapped it around myself, tying it in place at my waist and under my breasts with the two white cords provided. I arranged it slightly before I wrapped my obi around my torso and tied the bow at the front before spinning it around to the back. I could never remember who had taught me how to dress myself as I didn't recall Kodo teaching me, but I presumed now that it had been my mother.

I smoothed out the fabric when I was finished, slipping on my shoes.

When I'd rolled up my futon and placed it back in the cupboard, I brushed my hair and put it up into a bun and secured it with my red cord. I couldn't help but appreciate how it felt to wear a kimono again. The last time I'd worn one was when I was staying with Sen, and before that it was for Kazama and I's date. I missed the feeling of these clothes, of being dressed as a woman.

I took in a deep breath before I opened my door, mentally preparing myself for the upcoming agony.

When I'd exited my room and locked my door, I became aware of the loud drone of people talking downstairs and in the other rooms around me. It seemed to be a pretty busy day and the corridors were already heated by the warmth of the early summer sun diffusing through the roof.

I walked down the hallway as slow as socially acceptable and turned the corner, earning some looks from a few men who passed me. They weren't the usual confused, weary looks I normally got from wearing western clothes but ones which told me they liked what they saw. I watched their eyes trace my shape before moving to my face, but I of course avoided their gazes. I already had one man who would appraise me thoroughly today; I didn't want to encourage any others.

I approached his door silently so I could have a few seconds to compose myself before I entered, and then I knocked on the door frame. My heart was thumping behind my ribs and I knew he'd be able to hear that too if he'd activated his oni hearing in order to detect my approach.

I heard a rustling of fabric before he gave his reply. 'Come in.' He said.

I bit my lip, letting out a shallow breath, before I slid the door to his room open.

His scent almost knocked me out as I stepped inside his room, as did the light. He'd opened his window fully to let the sunshine in and it doused him in golden rays as he folded up his futon. The sight of him in his traditional clothes took me by surprise but I couldn't deny it was strangely pleasing. Although his western outfit suited him impeccably, there was just something about him in a haori and yukata that rendered him even more attractive.

He turned to face me as I entered, pausing his folding to rake my body up and down.

I blushed as he finally spoke. 'You look beautiful in orange, just as I predicted.' He purred, shifting his eyes upwards to absorb my reaction. I tried to keep as much of a stony face as I could but I couldn't stop myself from blushing. 'Where are my clothes?' I asked without hesitation, shutting the door behind me as I walked deeper into his room to stand a few metres away from him.

He only chuckled, amused that I'd chosen to ignore his compliment. Raising himself from the floor without answering, he moved over to his own cupboard to put his futon away.

I went bright red as he cautiously opened both doors, peering inside, then sighing in relief. 'Not a mouse in sight.' He said airily, guarding a serious face as he stashed his futon in it, but I could see the unbridled humour in his eyes.

When he'd closed the doors and turned to me, he relished in the mortified expression on my face. 'I will give them back when we leave the village, but while we are here we shouldn't attract unnecessary attention by dressing in our western attire. Besides, I will never pass up an opportunity to see you in women's clothing.' He said simply, eyes twinkling as he watched me struggle to maintain my serenity after his mouse joke.

I sighed, accepting I was fighting a losing battle. Deep down I knew it would be smarter for me to dress like this but it would be so much easier to be comfortable if he didn't look at me so… _ravenously_. Even now I could sense his ruby eyes scouring my body and it would probably only get worse the longer the day went on.

I fiddled with the folds of my kimono. 'Very well. But what do I do with it once we have to start travelling again? I can't bring it with me.' I said earnestly. Such a large amount of fabric wouldn't fit in my bag. He just sighed. 'Don't worry about that. I will sort it out. Now, are you ready?' He asked me as he picked up his sword. I nodded. 'Yes.' I murmured as I watched him lazily tie it around his waist, trying to figure out how he could act so nonchalant and be so graceful at the same time.

As soon as he was done, he appeared in front of me.

I flinched in shock as he reached out to grab my chin, drawing my body so close to his that our chests touched like they had last night when he'd been on top of me. 'Today I intend to spend every minute with you, just you and I, and I will enjoy it even more knowing we aren't going to be interrupted by a fan-wielding witch or a pack of peasant samurai.' He sighed, flashing me a mischievous regard before letting me go.

I absentmindedly pressed my fingers to my chin as his warmth left a pleasant tingling sensation. 'What are Amagiri and Shiranui doing then?' I murmured, blushing even deeper at the realisation that we would be alone. He gave me a harsh look in response to my question. 'I don't care what they're doing as I am not their babysitter; and whatever they choose to do, it doesn't warrant your concern. You should be paying attention to _me_ today.' He stated blatantly, displeasure written all over his face. It was very much like Kazama to get annoyed over a question like that. He didn't take too well to me showing interest in _any_ men, even if they were they posed no threat to his progress with me.

When he saw I had no retort, he slid open the door to his room and gestured for me to exit.

We walked down the hallway together after he'd locked his door, side by side. The closer we got to the stairs the more I sensed him recovering from the displeasure of my question, until his expression once again became blank and indifferent. He could switch though emotions so quickly which sometimes made him confusing, but he'd had a similar response when I'd asked him last night what they were doing for dinner.

We continued down the stairs and I followed him closely as we entered the foyer. I was certain the inn was full now, judging by the minor argument occurring at the counter between the owner and a couple who were obviously trying to barter for accommodation. I couldn't hear what they were talking about but it was getting pretty heated. There was a few other people watching it play out but the majority were bustling around, talking in groups and making sure that they had everything they needed for the day. I spotted a young couple holding a toddler that looked beyond overwhelmed with all the noise. I smiled at his wide eyes and stunned expression, amused as the mother patted his back soothingly to calm him.

I squeezed out the doorway and Kazama turned around to make sure I was still by his side. I peered up at him sheepishly as he analysed me for a bit longer than he probably needed to, but he turned around before my blush could fully form. 'Let's go.' He said plainly.

It occurred to me then that I had no idea where we were going.

I followed him regardless as he started to move. 'What are we doing today?' I asked curiously, peeking up at the side of his face. He seemed to glow in the sunlight like he always did, but now at least I knew why. He sighed. 'We are going to have lunch at a restaurant and then afterwards we will simply enjoy each other's company. Unless you have another suggestion?' He asked with a raised eyebrow. I blushed at the prospect of spending a whole day alone with him, but it didn't make me nervous in the way that it used to. The first time we'd been alone like this, which was on our date, I was nervous because I didn't trust him. Now I was nervous because… well, he was a _man_. Being alone with him made me feel like we really _were_ a couple.

I distracted myself by trying to come up with some suggestions for what we could do. I wasn't familiar with this town or the activities it had available, nor did I know what Kazama would find fun. If I suggested something I wanted him to enjoy it too, mostly so I wouldn't have to listen to his incessant complaining.

Kazama seemed intrigued that I was actually trying to think of something so he let me mull over the possibilities without interruption. When I was ready, I couldn't look him in the eye. 'Well… we could try… uh…'

I cut myself off, looking at all the people around me. I didn't want to tell him in front of a crowd that I felt like practicing more of my oni powers. Saying such a thing in public was not only foolish but would get me in trouble with Kazama.

Suddenly, I felt a soft hand enclose around my own.

I instantly went red and glared up at him disapprovingly. He was smiling wickedly at my reaction, but even though I knew he was only smiling to tease me it still made my heart flutter. He was so indescribably beautiful, especially when illuminated by the sunlight. Most of the people around us were also staring at him with the same dazed, captivated expression.

He chuckled. 'If you wish to tell me something in private, then…' He trailed off, and I knew exactly what he was implying. How ironic it was that in order to ask if I could practice my oni powers, I would need to _use_ my oni powers.

I sighed, turning away from him as I attempted to concentrate.

It was strangely difficult to focus while walking and I found my pace slowing down. Kazama didn't mention it or whinge about the speed we were now going, which was significantly slower than everyone around us. He waited patiently while I tried to locate his mind and I found it was also hard to do with my eyes open. I subconsciously held his hand tighter the more desperate I became.

I could sense it now, slightly, but it was remarkably more difficult in this form than in my oni one. It was a bit discouraging but I was comforted by the knowledge I'd done it last night. All I needed was to keep trying.

Eventually I was able to very unsteadily brush my mind against his to request entry. He immediately brought down the walls around his psyche to let me in, drawing me deeper inside as if to prevent me from slipping out. I couldn't talk for a while not only because I was trying to keep my focus, but because I was adjusting to the strange openness I always felt when we established a telepathic link.

However, the more I did it, the more I realised I adored the feeling. The sensation of being linked to another person was incredible, as was the knowledge that I could actually _do_ this. Even though I'd done it a few times now it never got any less amazing, especially because I knew there was so much more we could share with each other than just words.

 _That's_ why I wanted to practice. I wanted to learn to share everything with him.

 _Chizuru_.

I jumped visibly as he said my name, like thunder in my head.

When I looked up at him, he was waiting patiently for a response of some kind, even if just through a facial expression.

He raised an eyebrow as I remained silent. _Is it difficult for you in this form?_ : he asked me, his voice not as strong as it had been all the other times we'd talked telepathically. I didn't know if it would always be like this or if I needed just to practice in order to hear it better.

I licked my dry lips. _It's harder than it was last night. I think it's because we're walking_ : I replied, pushing each word slowly and carefully. He was patient with the speed of my communication and made sure when he responded that he was slow and clear as well. _Naturally. It's because you're having to multitask. As telepathy is based on concentration, it's only normal that it would become harder when you're doing other things. This difficulty occurs with all oni abilities but with practice it will become much easier_ : he assured me.

It was nice to hear that this wouldn't always require so much effort but at the moment I was really struggling. I hadn't stopped frowning since the moment I'd entered his mind and we were walking so sluggishly it was almost irritating.

I nodded slowly. _Will your voice always be so quiet in this form?_ : I asked, noting that the outside sounds were causing my concentration to waver and his voice to distort. He lead me around a group of people talking in the middle of the street, flashing them a scathing glare at having to alter his walking path, before he replied. _No, not always. But it will never be as clear as in your oni form_.

After I'd acknowledged his response, I looked at the crowd. It was so bizarre to think none of them knew that we were having a telepathic conversation. No one knew we weren't human, that we weren't like them. Five years ago that would have been me; completely oblivious to the truth and going about my business with only my narrow view of the world to guide me. I gripped his hand tighter as I got the same odd feeling in my chest I always did when I wondered what would have happened if I'd never discovered I was an oni. Would Kodo have eventually told me about my true heritage? Not until I started asking questions about my immortality, probably.

Kazama's voice snapped me out of thoughts. _So… what was your initial suggestion? The one that was too embarrassing to say in public? If it's what I'm hoping, we might as well turn around and head back to my room_ : he purred, once again amazing me with his ability to accurately select the most humiliating thing to say. I went red and gave him a chastising scowl before I sighed. _No… well, I was just going to ask if we could practice more of my abilities. But it seems that's what we're already doing_ : I mumbled. He squeezed my hand once before he chuckled in my head. _Shame. But now that you're getting much more confident with how to use your powers, there's little reason for me to prevent you from practicing every day. It pleases me that you are so curious_.

Even after his earlier lewd comment I was still excited at his agreement. He watched me beam up at him for a while before he continued, not taking his eyes off my face. _I was planning on teaching you a new skill today anyway, as I have booked us a private room at the restaurant we're going to. Now that you're familiar with exchanging words, I will begin to teach you how to exchange senses. This comes as a precursor to exchanging memories, which is even more difficult_ : he told me.

I blushed as his eyes continued to rest on smiling face, sliding over my features like he was memorising my appearance. I thought I saw a twinge of docility in them as he beheld me, and the thought gave me butterflies. I turned away abruptly to push my fringe from my eyes, becoming painfully aware in that moment that we were actually holding hands. Everyone who saw us _definitely_ thought we were a couple.

I swallowed. _What senses are able to be exchanged?_ : I asked, desperate to keep talking so I would be distracted from the heat in my cheeks and the pounding of my heart. He seemed unaware of my strange behaviour and replied without delay. _All of them. Touch, taste, smell, hearing and sight. Taste is what I will teach you today:_ he promised.

Despite myself, I couldn't help but grin again. There was so much to learn, so much about myself to discover, and the thought was fascinating.

I didn't even notice that we'd started to walk faster as I carried on questioning him. _How does it work? Exchanging taste, that is_ : I asked, peeking back up at him. He was already looking at me, studying the elated smile on my face, and he lifted the hand he was holding to his lips and kissed it gently. _I will show you soon. Be patient, kitten_ : he chastised, although I could sense the humour in his words.

I went beetroot red as he lowered my hand from his lips, the moisture of kiss lingering on my skin. I feared the whole village could hear my heartbeat and I barely registered that he was leading me up to the door of a restaurant.

When he led me inside and into the dimly lit building, the smell of food reminded me just how hungry I was.

Momentarily I forgot all about what had just happened as I looked around to see people sitting at tables with banquets in front of them. I saw all sorts of dishes made from an assortment of ingredients and I watched them longingly as Kazama led me to the front counter. We were still holding hands, but he made no effort to talk to me telepathically or pull away.

A waitress came over to greet us, her mouth practically falling open as she laid eyes on the man beside me. Her eyes flooded with awe and something a little more sour when she saw us holding hands, but she managed to regain her composure when Kazama narrowed his unforgiving eyes at her. 'I have a room booked.' He said brusquely, causing her to jump a little. She did a brilliant job at maintaining her smile even when faced with such a snarky looking customer. 'Sure. What name was that under, Sir?'

Kazama sighed heavily, like she was asking him to go to the kitchen and cook his own meal. 'Kazama.' He replied. I resisted the urge to frown at his lack of manners, but I didn't scold him. I would only scold him if he did something _really_ bad or it got to the point I just couldn't take it anymore.

She nodded, averting her eyes to preserve some of her sanity, before she gestured for us to follow her. Kazama sighed in my head, but he didn't say anything. He didn't need to use words to convey how much the human race riled him.

The woman led us down a short corridor and to one of the private meeting rooms, opening the door and permitting us to enter. It was a small area but comfortably furnished, with cushions and a beautiful round banquet table in the centre. The girl moved back over to the door once we were inside. 'Lunch will be brought to you soon.' She said, before she bowed and left us in peace.

Kazama turned instantly to smirk at me, and I very quickly realised it was because I was still holding his hand. I frowned at him before pulling my hand away reflexively, feeling our telepathic link dissolve. Each time his mind departed from my own I was left feeling emptier and emptier and I didn't want to think about what that meant.

Kazama only chuckled, sitting down on a collection of cushions on the floor. 'Sit.' He commanded.

I sighed at his authoritative tone and went to sit down exactly as he'd instructed, but he stopped me by raising a hand. 'Bring your cushions next to me and sit by my side.' He said, placing the hand he just rose to the floor beside him, letting me know where he wanted me to go. I blushed, regarding him uncertainly, before I did as he'd asked. I pushed my cushions close to him, his scent getting more intense the nearer I got. It was such an intoxicating smell that messed with my brain. In fact, _all_ of him messed with my brain.

He only smirked at me for a while, obviously enjoying our proximity, before he reached out to take my hand again. My blush got darker but I let him touch me without protest. I presumed he wanted to reinstate our telepathic link and even though I was embarrassed about holding his hand, I found myself pleased by the thought.

I looked at him expectantly, but he surprised me by talking aloud. 'Before we start anything else, I will teach you how to break down your own mind barrier. That way you will be able to respond to _other_ people's requests to enter your head, rather than always being the one who has to initiate the link.' He said, shifting to face me slightly more. I remembered him telling me when we'd first practiced telepathy that touching mind barriers was a way to ask to be let inside someone's head. He'd also told me that I was incapable of lowering mine because I'd never practiced it before, which meant at the moment he was the one having to lower his mind barrier all the time.

After I'd nodded, he began his instruction. 'If you concentrate you will notice your mind barrier is powered by the same energy you use for your oni abilities. You will have to take that power away and put it back again when you wish to reseal your mind. Do you understand?' He asked me, narrowing his eyes to examine my face for confusion. I squinted as I processed what he'd said. 'So my power is already maintaining my mind barrier? And all I have to do is take it away?' I clarified. He nodded. 'Correct. When you wish to close your mind again, just lead the power back.'

I nodded, glad that Kazama was good at explaining things. There was just something about the way he taught that made everything sound logical. Although I admitted I originally hadn't believed that Kazama could be a good teacher, I knew now I'd been wrong. According to Amagiri, Kazama was responsible for teaching the children in the Kazama clan about their clan power and I found that more likely than ever now given the way he was teaching me. He was powerful, intelligent and very proficient at tutelage so it made perfect sense that he had such a role. I would have liked to have seen him during one of those lessons though, just to see how he interacted with the children and how they interacted with him.

When I shifted my eyes to Kazama to study him curiously, I realised he was already looking at me with a raised eyebrow. 'Are you ready?' He asked. I immediately blushed and peered down at my hands. 'Yes.' I said. He only smirked, but didn't say anything.

I closed my eyes and turned away from him a bit so I would find it easier to meditate. I really hoped the process of lowering it was as straightforward as Kazama was making it sound.

I closed off my thoughts as I searched for the casing of my mind.

I could sense my power as I usually could, but I needed to go higher up, into my head to search for the energy keeping my mind barrier intact. On the night I'd first practiced my telepathy I remembered being able to feel it, but I'd been much too overcome with shock to ponder what it had been made of or what had powered it. It had been easy to sense it then because Kazama had been touching it with his own mind but it was a bit more difficult finding it without his help.

After a few minutes, I began to sense the energy located around my thoughts.

I followed the buzzing of the power, my pride growing as I knew I was getting closer, until finally I felt it there before me; a large, glowing bubble. It was a dull yellow, many times fainter than the dazzling gold of the tendrils I used to activate my oni form and abilities. I could see its surface flickering as if it was about to extinguish at any moment but I presumed that was just because it was weak. Kazama had told me he was able to break through it with ease due to its fragility and I could see now that it wouldn't have been hard at all.

I reached out and touched the surface curiously, noticing it felt as brittle as glass and just as unstable. I gathered the sparks of energy fuelling the barrier, watching with intrigue as it disintegrated. I didn't feel the openness that I thought I might feel, but a sense of insecurity. Kazama had told me that another oni could forcefully infiltrate the mind of another oni if they had a weak barrier, and now that I'd taken the walls away my thoughts were there for the taking.

I pulled the sparks of power back deeper within me and released them amongst the more radiant coils of golden light. They floated shyly in the darkness, as dim as embers, just above where the others were hiding.

When I opened my eyes, I already had a frown on my face.

Kazama was observing me carefully and only spoke when he'd figured out why I was making such an unpleasant face. 'You may feel vulnerable at the moment, but I promise it will be fine.' He assured me, noticing that acting displeased with having a completely unguarded mind.

I peered up at him sceptically, trying to wrap my head around what I was feeling. 'If you touched me, would you see what I'm thinking?' I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. He just chuckled at my question, understanding that some of my fear came from the belief he'd take advantage of my exposed thoughts. He shook his head. 'Only if I actively tried to. When we touch, everything will be the same as it normally is when we talk telepathically and the unease will quickly fade. Now take my hand.' He ordered, holding it out for me and giving me an expectant look.

I regarded him doubtfully but I softly placed my hand in his, flinching as his fingers curled around mine.

As soon as we touched, he reached out with his mind. The familiar openness instantly encapsulated me and I took in a slight breath as I became aware of his strong presence within my head.

I looked up at him cautiously and he was smirking. _Keep your barrier down until we have finished today's lesson. I will let you resummon it afterwards_ : he said. I nodded, but I remained rather hesitant. _Isn't that dangerous though? To leave your mind unguarded?_ : I asked, my eyes trailing over the room briefly as if another oni was hiding just waiting for the opportunity to steal my memories.

Kazama sighed at my suspicion _. It could be, but not here. There are no other onis in this village or I would be able to sense them and it doesn't happen very often anyway because it's a serious offence. We call this crime_ subversion _, and such cases are treated with little mercy from the High Council_ : he explained.

I was consoled by knowing it was a rare occurrence and punished severely, but there was still something I hadn't understood. _What's the High Council?_ : I inquired, squinting in my curiosity. He closed his eyes as if he was thinking about how to answer it. _There are many levels of authority for our people, much like in the human world, but I won't delve into politics for the moment. I will teach you everything you need to know about us in time, including our laws, traditions and customs, but not today. I do not wish to discuss such heavy topics when we finally have some time alone together_ : he sighed, lifting his eyes up to watch me go bright red.

Just as he went to continue teasing me, there was a soft knock on the door.

A woman spoke. 'Your food is ready. May I enter?' She asked, her voice muffled from behind the screen.

Kazama sighed in the usual uninterested way he did when addressed by a human. 'Yes. And hurry.' He said distastefully. I was still blushing from his earlier comment and it was becoming worse when I knew the woman would be able to see us holding hands. He shot me a sharp look when I went to pull my hand away from his and I pouted at him when he wouldn't let me.

She entered swiftly just as I'd finished struggling against his grip and pushed the door open as wide as it would go. There was one another girl behind her carrying tea and sake, maybe 16 years old, and they approached the banquet table in front of us.

As expected, they both immediately laid eyes upon Kazama and became transfixed. They had pink cheeks as they placed the food and drink down on the table, arranging our crockery and making sure everything was in order before the raised themselves. I didn't know if Kazama expected me to eat here beside him but I couldn't think of anything more embarrassing. It was unpleasant enough eating with him at all let alone directly at his side.

When the girls had set everything up, the older one went to pick up the sake bottle. 'Do y…?'

'No.' Kazama interrupted.

Both women looked stunned at the quick rejection, and he continued despite their stupor. 'My wife will do it. Now hurry up and get out.'

I saw both of the girls go red, the younger one becoming visibly afflicted by his severe tone. They kind of stood there for a second as if in shock, and Kazama narrowed his eyes at them as they didn't move. 'Did you hear me?' He repeated.

I turned to frown at him, deciding that I'd finally had enough.

He turned to look at me as he sensed I was going to say something and I gave him the closest thing to a death glare I could conjure. _That isn't how you should speak to people who have done nothing wrong to you, Kazama-san_ : I lectured. Even though I'd told him off lots of times it still felt weird to do, like a child scolding an adult.

He raised an eyebrow at me and I tried not to let my blush get worse. I could tell he wasn't angry at me, but his reply was curt. _I told you. Respect needs to be earned_ : he shot back. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at his generic excuse and my glare intensified. _Respect should be there to start with, and these girls have done nothing to warrant your disrespect. And for the record, I would appreciate it if you stopped calling me your wife. Not only is it a lie, which you claim you don't like, but it implies that I would tolerate you enough to marry you and at this point in time that's very far from the truth_ : I snapped, tugging my hand away from his so he couldn't reply.

When I turned back to the girls, their distress had faded slightly to confusion as they'd watched the weird exchange of facial expressions between us.

I sighed. 'I'm sorry, girls. Thank you for the food. You may leave now.' I said, giving them a small bow in gratitude. They immediately got flustered and bowed in return, although deeper. 'Thank you, Ojou-san. We hope you enjoy the meal.' The older one said, raising herself from her bow and giving me an appreciative smile. I smiled back at her, pleased my apology had alleviated some of their shame, and I watched them as they left the room and shut the door behind them.

The very millisecond after they were gone, I could feel the full brunt of Kazama's glare on the side of my face.

I didn't regret scolding him, of course, but that didn't mean I was completely comfortable with it. I only chastised him so bluntly on rare occasions and every time I did it was always unbearably awkward afterwards. The fact that Kazama was obviously unused to being reproved only made it worse because I never really knew how he would take it.

I flinched as I heard him draw a breath. 'You're lucky I don't mind being reprimanded by you, Chizuru. You might be the only one who can do so and get away with it.' He said, his tone surprisingly mild. I frowned as I he reached out to take some of my hair into his fingers, and when I looked at him he was smirking. I pushed his hand away. 'I'm serious. Addressing someone like that is uncalled for, especially two innocent girls. You have no chance of getting me to be your wife if you continue to act like that.' I retorted, but this time I was unable to maintain eye contact. I turned away from him and pouted, dreading his eventual reaction.

However, he didn't say anything and I decided I would just start eating.

I picked up my bowl and started to pile food into it. It looked so good and smelt even better and very slowly the awkwardness was overpowered by the excitement of eating. I left no meal untouched as I spooned it all into my dish, taking everything from the meat to the vegetables. I was so hungry and it was getting worse the longer it took to gather my food, and when I was done I wasted no time in raising myself off the ground to go eat on the other side of the table.

Kazama immediately grabbed my arm and pulled me down, almost causing me to drop my food. 'You're staying here because we haven't finished the lesson yet.' He said, not mentioning how I'd just lectured him.

I frowned at his hand on my arm as I felt him slip into my mind.

Before he could speak, I did. _I'm going to sit on the other side of the table_ : I told him. He looked at me sternly in disapproval of my resistance. _No you're not. First of all, consider this your punishment for the way you spoke to me. Secondly, I told you that this lesson hasn't finished yet so you're staying where you are until we're done_ : he retorted, moving his fingers from my arm to my hand. He held it in a way that told me he wasn't going to be letting go. I sighed. _I don't deserve punishment because you were in the wrong. And…_

He cut me off instantly. _You really are quite brave today considering last night you interrupted my sleep to save you from a mouse_.

I sighed.

I knew this would come up sooner or later, but I just wish it hadn't have been right when I was trying to eat. I was so starving I was about to waste away and I knew Kazama would drag this on for as long as he deemed satisfactory.

I closed my eyes to compose myself before I replied. _Well, it was you who said to go to your room if I thought something was wrong. And let me remind you that even after running down the hall, knocking on the doorframe and calling your name a thousand times you still didn't wake up. So don't tease me about my lack of keen senses because it's evident yours aren't as acute as you claim them to be._

I was surprised when his frown immediately morphed into a grin and he craned his neck to look at my face since I'd turned it away. _Might I bring to your attention that my senses are alert when there is_ danger _, Chizuru. I didn't even need to go into your room to detect that whatever was in there wasn't going to do any harm. Also, you can't blame me for being reluctant to awaken since I was having quite the pleasant dream when you interrupted. You ruined the rare opportunity I get to hear you call me Chikage to beg for things I am actually willing to give you._

I immediately plucked my hand out of his and sent him a very frustrated and mortified look. 'Kazama-san.' I mumbled, blushing profusely as I caught his meaning. As always, he seemed to savour the expression of embarrassment on my face and it didn't help when a wave of heat travelled down my body at the knowledge he had those kinds of dreams about me.

He chuckled, eyes twinkling. 'Surely by now it's no secret how you make me feel, Chizuru, and in due time you will feel the same. If you don't already that is.' He purred, continuing to chuckle as he saw me getting redder and redder. The colour was beginning to spread to my ears and I turned away so I didn't turn into an _actual_ tomato, stalk and all. 'I assure you I don't feel that way.' I mumbled, although I wasn't so sure anymore.

After he'd satisfied himself with teasing me, he smirked. 'Lies aside, I wish to instruct you on how to exchange taste while you have a clean palette. You will understand why that is when I start teaching you.' He explained. I cringed when he implied that I'd been lying and I waited for a few seconds until the blush had retreated back to my cheeks before I nodded. 'Fine.' I muttered, placing down my bowl back onto the table with an unhappy sigh.

He seemed unperturbed by my displeasure and commenced serving his own food, filling up his dish just as I had. I noticed that he placed it in his bowl in a way that ensured nothing mixed together and I watched him with a slight frown on my face as he very carefully kept the chicken, fish, vegetables and rice separate from one another.

Once he'd finished, he looked up at me and extended his hand. I sighed as I understood what he wanted and I placed my own in his, ignoring the smugness that flooded his face as we touched.

I closed my eyes briefly as I felt our mind link form, once again smitten with the sensation, and he pulled me slightly closer to him. _I wanted you to have eaten nothing prior to this exercise because the untrained mind can easily confuse the taste in your mouth with the taste that the person is sending you. I will let you experience it first before I expect you to try for yourself_. _Are you ready?_ :He asked.

It sounded so amazing that I nodded a little more eagerly than I'd wanted to. Kazama smirked at my enthusiasm. _Very well._

Without delay, he picked up his chopsticks with his free hand.

I had even less idea what to expect for this than I did with telepathy, and my curiosity only grew as he picked up a piece of chicken and put it in his mouth. As soon as it was passed his lips I braced myself for a taste or a thought to enter my head, but nothing happened. Instead I watched with disappointment as he just kept eating. It was like he was doing this to torture me, but his face remained neutral.

Suddenly I felt something enter my head, a small speck of pressure.

I frowned, unsure what to make of the strange sensation. I couldn't taste anything yet and I wasn't even sure if it was because of him. It could have just been my anticipation that was making me feel things that weren't happening. I reached out to touch it and gasped audibly as it seemed to unfold.

As soon as it did, and the taste of chicken filled my mouth.

I let out a little squeak as the flavour grew stronger. My tongue automatically swept around my mouth to locate the food it was tasting but there was nothing there; my mouth was empty.

My eyes snapped to Kazama who was still contently chewing on his meal, fixing me with a pert smile as he remarked my expression. _You taste it, I presume?_ : he asked me. I was unable to respond for a few seconds because I was so shocked. I couldn't even gape either because my mind was telling me that if I opened my mouth then the food would fall out. It was having some serious trouble processing that there was actually nothing in there _to_ fall out.

Kazama swallowed his food and the taste grew weaker. _Notice how you can't feel the temperature of what I'm eating, nor the texture or consistency; only the flavour. It is possible also to exchange the taste of foods that you have previously eaten, if you can easily visualise their taste or if you have been trained:_ he said.

After he'd finished, the chicken flavour left my mouth.

I was trying not to give away how amazed I was since I was still irritated with how he'd spoken to those girls, but I had to smile. It was insane that we were capable of sharing these sorts of things and that there was even more we could do. I was speechless.

Kazama smirked at me. _I'm going to share another taste with you, one I think you will enjoy_ : he announced. I didn't like the look on his face and I had no clue what it was going to be but I nodded anyway.

I had even finished nodding when the most abhorrent, repulsive flavour filled my mouth.

I reached up to clutch my throat, making a choking noise as the taste of sake flooded my tongue. _Kazama-san!_ : I shrieked into his head. He was already chuckling, face lit up with mirth, and he spared me the torture once a few more seconds had passed. _You reacted similarly when you drank my sake all those weeks ago. I personally am fond of its taste, but the sweetness your lips left on my cup definitely eased the burn_ : he said, grinning as I flashed him a panicked, humiliated look. I couldn't believe he was still going on about how I'd gotten drunk, even to this day, and that he was even talking about my _lips_!

When I'd settled back down and wiped the grimace off my face, he continued. _As you just found out, it is possible to exchange tastes that you're very familiar with. Something that you've tasted only once or twice would be very difficult to transfer to another person, purely because you cannot visualise its flavour very well._ _This applies to all the senses. If you can envisage them easily, you can share any sights, scents and tastes you've experienced as well as things you've physically felt or heard_ : he ended his explanation by inattentively lifting his spare hand to brush some hair from my eyes. He seemed to have done it as a reflex and that made me go even redder. My stomach did little flips when he did things like that to me, especially so unexpectedly.

He pulled his hand back, analysing the blush on my face. _Do you wish to try for yourself?_ : he asked, smirking at how flustered his touch had made me. I nodded. 'Ok.' I mumbled, glad for the distraction.

Before I could say anything else he frowned at me, and I bit my lip as I realised why that was. _Sorry_ : I murmured, embarrassed that I'd forgotten to reply inside his mind again just like I had on the night we'd first practiced. He sighed. _Soon this method of speaking will become the norm for you, I will make sure of that. From this day forward we will converse like this as much as possible, even on horseback_ : he said. It should have unnerved me that I would have to spend more time mentally connected to him but it didn't. The truth was I was relieved that he'd ordered us to talk like this more often because I loved it.

He gestured for me to pick up my bowl and I did, readying my chopsticks as well. He watched me carefully. _Exchanging senses is exactly like exchanging words. You have to push it to the other person, so think of the taste in your mouth and try to send it to me. You will understand better what I mean when you try_ : he assured me, his eyes flicking from my eyes to my lips as I started to chew.

I blushed as he watched me. _Ok_.

Once he'd given me permission to start, I put a bit of chicken into my mouth and lowered my head shyly as I began to concentrate.

I was already inside of his mind so all I needed to do was work out where to go from there. I focused on the taste of the chicken in my mouth; the saltiness, the flavour of the broth it was cooked in… everything about its taste that I wanted him to experience. I bottled it up into a thought, hoping I was doing it right, and I tried to push it into his mind.

I felt him take it from me and open it, just like an envelope. I sensed when he'd received my thought and I could feel whatever I'd sent him seep deeper into his consciousness so he could experience it too. I swallowed the food and waited for him to say something before I spoke just in case I hadn't done it correctly.

After a few more seconds, he chuckled. _Well done_. _Although the flavour is a little dull, I can easily discern what it is_.

I opened my eyes from meditation and grinned at him. 'I did it? Really?' I laughed, finding it unbelievable how I'd had no idea what I'd been doing but it had still worked. Maybe he really had been right when he said my powers came to me naturally because I was a pureblood. I could only imagine how much harder it would be for those with human in them, or onis who weren't born to clan leaders.

Kazama sighed at me when I spoke aloud again. _Yes, you did it. Now try again. This time I will not watch what you select, and I will see if I can guess what it is_ : he said, turning away from me but continuing to hold my hand.

When I saw he wasn't watching me, I turned to the table of food and thought seriously about what I would choose. I wished I was good enough to transfer something I'd tasted previously because he deserved something awful too after forcing me to taste sake. I might have sent him something like dried fish or pickled olives, things which were definitely an acquired taste.

However, when I scanned the meals briefly I realised I didn't need to send him something from memory. I was originally just going to eat some beef noodles but when I swept once more over what else was available I noticed there was the perfect option right in front of me, something I knew he would definitely disapprove of.

I grinned impishly, making sure he wasn't watching as I reached into the plate of vegetables and selected some bean sprouts. He hadn't explicitly told me that he didn't like beans, but he'd avoided them at Sen's house and given me an approving look when I hadn't put them in his bowl at Asuka's house. I decided this would be the perfect punishment for not only imposing the taste of sake upon me, but being so rude to those girls as well.

I shovelled the bean sprouts into my mouth and started to chew, closing my eyes once more.

I hoped the flavour would be more intense the more beans I ate, so I kept filling my mouth with them until there was room for no more. I personally loved bean sprouts as they seemed to soak up the flavour of whatever they were cooked with and they were also cheap and widely available. They could be placed in noodles, dumplings and stir frys, all of which my father had loved when we'd lived in Edo. It was strange to me that someone could dislike them, but I supposed everyone had something they didn't like the taste of.

When I was satisfied with the potency of the flavour, I made sure when I sent it to him that I left no bean sprout untasted.

I bit my lip as I waited for the unusual feeling that let me know he'd opened up my thought. It really was like delivering a letter into his head, a letter that he could receive and open when he was ready to.

I swallowed the beans as I felt him take the thought unsuspectingly, and without delay he spun around to give me the most disappointed, condemning glare I'd ever seen.

I instantly covered my mouth as I tried not to start laughing. He was staring at me like I'd just betrayed his trust and the fact that someone as powerful as Kazama could be so traumatised by a simple vegetable made it even more hilarious. He looked like he was in physical pain from the taste in his mouth.

Finally, I couldn't hold it in anymore. I started laughing as the dejection on his face grew stronger and he said nothing as he watched me struggling to contain myself. I wiped the tears away as they collected at the corner of my eyes, finding it odd yet natural to laugh so genuinely like this in front of him. It was the first time I'd done so, and it was ironic he'd done the same last night when I'd guessed his clan power.

I took in a deep breath once I'd calmed down but I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. Kazama hadn't turned his gaze away from me but I was too amused to be scared or regretful at the moment and I was pretty sure he knew it too.

There was a moment of strange silence before he spoke. _Are you done?_ : he deadpanned.

I fought hard not to start laughing again, and even the mental reply I gave was shaky due to my wavering composure. _Yes, I think I'm done now_ : I said, but I couldn't help but giggle into his head. He sighed, his face smoothing out as I allowed the thought to dissipate and the flavour I'd given him faded from his mouth. _Never do that again_ : he warned, but for some reason he didn't sound angry. His voice had been somewhat meek despite what I'd done to him and I didn't dare to ponder if his irritation had been mellowed by the sound of my laughter.

I was unable to stop smiling as I replied. _Well, that was your punishment for the sake. That was a million times worse than a few harmless beans_ : I goaded, recognising I was risking irking him for real but I just couldn't help myself. I hoped he understood now how it felt when he teased _me_.

Kazama's expression became even more uninspired. _This lesson is over. You may eat your meal now_ : he muttered, pulling his hand away from me to pick up his own bowl.

I sighed at the grumpy look on his face and did what he'd said, but I didn't move back over to the other side of the table. With what had just happened I knew he wouldn't pester me if I stayed here and I also had grown accustomed to sitting so close to him.

There was no more conversation between us, and we ate our meal in silence.

* * *

 **Ending note**

There is a reason why this chapter ends so abruptly! As the 'Part 1' in this chapter's title suggests, this will be the first part of two. I was originally going to write everything in one chapter but I had to split it so the chapter wasn't a billion words long. The next one will be uploaded soon (but I'm not exactly sure when) because I've already written some of it.

 **Also I'm making a poll to see what clan you guys predict that his middle power comes from, the clan of his mother. I've never made one before but I will do it as soon as this chapter is posted. You can find the poll on my profile page, Fleur Lilas.**


	28. Part 2- Just you and I

**IM VERY SORRY I took so long posting D: I'm actually coming up to exam period now of my last semester before I graduate so it might only get more sporadic from here but I promise to keep posting somewhat regularly for the next few weeks until Uni is over. Then I'll have 3 months of homeworkless, peaceful holidays in which I can write to my heart's content :D yay! ALSO PLEASE READ THE NOTES AT THE END ONCE YOU'VE READ THE CHAPTER**

 **Gembokkunci47** \- Haha sorry about the battles, I get so carried away with their powers that I forget to add in action scenes. There's kind of one in this chapter… kind of haha :D I'm pretty glad I decided to split them into two chapters because this one alone is 10,000 words :o anyway thanks for your review (and your feedback). I'll go through my chapter planning and try to add some more action scenes!

 **ImpracticalDemon** \- Thank you :D the oni side of things has always intrigued me and I love that I get to create it in my own way through writing as the anime didn't really go much into it unfortunately, which was kind of disappointing. Please continue to read :)

 **OniPrincess** \- Thanks for the review again :D I'll just do what I did last time when I replied haha. First of Chizuru does have a middle power, I just haven't told you all what it is yet but you will find it out in this story so don't stress. Shiranui's arm tattoo is his mark thing although I haven't specified that in the story yet. And thanks for pointing out the grammar error, I'll try not to do it in the future!

Kazama doesn't like bean sprouts because he just doesn't like them, there's nothing more to it than that :D As for how I discovered Hakuoki- it's a pretty weird story. I was just looking up anime pictures one day and I saw a screenshot of Chizuru giving Hijikata her blood through a kiss and I was like 'cool I'm going to watch that anime' so I did, and I watched both seasons in one night. I was so depressed by the ending that I couldn't watch another anime for like ages :D I tried to read manga after I finished the anime Kaichou wa maid-sama but I just couldn't get into it unfortunately. I've watched sooooo much anime that it will be hard to condense it down to ten of my favourites, but I love romance/fantasy anime and that's mostly what I watch. Some I'll suggest for you are Kamisama Kiss, Kaichou wa maid sama and Akatsuki no Yona (definitely watch that one).

Also, I know exactly why my story isn't coming up! It's because the filter for the site automatically excludes M rated fanfics (and mine is rated M) so in order to see it you have to go to the top of the page, click on FILTERS button and change the rating filter to ALL RATINGS. I hope that helps. In regards to my name, I love the name Fleur and my favourite colour is lilac purple (lilas, in French) so I decided to put them together. Also about the 4 stories; it's going to be 4 stories in total for this pairing, going through events like their engagement, marriage children etc, not 4 stories just retelling this one.

Thanks for your suggestions on the Kazama point of view thing. I've got a while to go before I finish it so lots of time to work out what I'm going to do but I will keep what you've said in mind. Also I could write the betrothal ceremony from Kazama's perceptive at some stage but I really can't say yet. About the dream chapters, I have a style where if the whole chapter is a dream (like for Snatched from Oblivion) then I write it as a normal chapter with no italics as I'm not a fan of when people write whole chapters in italics especially when they're as long as mine are. I put in the author notes at the top warning everyone that it was going to be a dream chapter anyway. And to answer your question about the force fields, it's pure coincidence haha.

Thanks for your review :)

 **Guest3446** \- Omg you can't even imagine how good the timing was of your review haha :D :D I literally just put my phone down after stressing about all my homework and all the reviews I'd been getting and I was like OMG and then I get your review telling me to chill and it made me feel so much better haha, so thank you :D sorry this one took so long though, I'm close to graduating uni and I've got so much to do! Hope you enjoy this chapter :D

 **Yona0** \- Thank You! I'm glad so many people picked up on the meaning of the dream and all the symbols in it :D here is the next chapter (sorry that it took so long)

* * *

 **Part 2- You and I**

'Thank you!' I said to the serving girls at the door as I left the restaurant.

They waved back at me as we left although their eyes were focused entirely on Kazama. He most definitely noticed their ogling but didn't care, actively ignoring them as we walked back onto the street.

Now that I had a full stomach I was feeling much more content. Just like on our date, I realised that it was… _nice_ spending time with him. It felt so bizarre for me to think that, but I had to admit that over the span of the journey he had become less irritable with me and slightly more playful. The more I saw of that side of him the easier it was to be comfortable in his presence.

I stared up at the bright sun in the sky, following its rays downwards and remarking how they seemed to set his skin ablaze. He really did have a noble glow about him and it didn't surprise me that some people thought he was royalty. Even the servant girls at Sen's house had thought he was a prince. I didn't know anyone with hair as gold as his and I'd certainly never seen someone with red eyes before, save for the rasetsu. However, Kazama's eyes were very much the opposite of the cold, emotionless eyes of those who'd drank the Ochimizu. They were like deep-set rubies, filled with swirls of cerise and scarlet. I couldn't believe I'd once found them frightening.

We seemed to be heading out of the village towards the exit, passing all the festival preparations on our way. There were people erecting decorative poles, setting up pop-up shops and hanging red and orange lanterns. There were so many people around that it really did remind me of our first date, surrounded by everyone in Kyoto as we had walked the streets. They were bustling around carrying bags and baskets filled with a range of things, gathering the items and food they needed for the festival. I could see now that tomorrow's event was a significant occasion in this town.

As we came up to the village gate, I frowned. I could see no reason for us to leave the village and Kazama still hadn't told me where we were going. He was walking with a purpose though so I assumed that meant he knew our destination, but my curiosity was becoming undeniable now.

I peered up at the side of his stoic face. 'Why are we leaving the village?' I asked quietly. I wasn't sure if he'd give me a proper response but I decided to try my luck. He sighed at my question but thankfully answered. 'You really are an impatient woman, Chizuru.' He said, flashing me a quick glare before he turned his eyes forwards again. 'If you must know, I'm taking us somewhere we won't be disturbed. I don't wish to spend our time together wading through crowds of peasants. We might catch a disease.'

I trudged along beside him, deciding not to react to his derogatory comment. 'So where are we going then?' I prompted, pouting slightly. I wasn't scared he'd do anything to me of course but I was hesitant to be totally alone with him. It sounded like he was taking us somewhere secluded.

Kazama kept his eyes fixed on the dirt road as we walked. 'Why? Is there something else you need to take care of?' He asked rather irately, like he thought I was interrogating him because I was sceptical of his intentions. I sighed, not bothering to answer his rhetorical question. 'I was just wondering.' I murmured. I presumed his responses were so curt and sarcastic because he was still displeased by what I'd done in the restaurant, but I knew he wasn't angry. Even though he'd barely spoken to me since then I could see he was only…irked.

Just as the words left my mouth, we came to the edge of the forest.

He went to step inside and I paused, hesitant to follow him. Why was he taking me all the way out here? There was nothing but trees and dirt for miles in every direction and I'd already spent way too much time trampling through forests.

He noticed my lack of movement and turned around, sending me a disapproving glare. 'Don't give me that look, Chizuru. You should know by now I won't hurt you. Let's go.' He urged, spinning around to disappear into the foliage.

I gave up and stepped in after him, walking briskly to catch up as I noticed he'd strolled off a few metres in front of me. I'd seen nothing on the way that would suggest there were things to do or see around this region. I was dying to know where we were going and who knew how long he'd make us walk for before we got there.

I bit my lip, bracing myself for his retaliation. 'What are we doing?' I asked cautiously.

When he suddenly stopped, my forehead hit his shoulder blade. He turned around to look at me with a raised eyebrow and I thought I saw some amusement in his eyes which confused me a bit, but it had probably been because I'd bumped into him. 'Need we _do_ anything, Chizuru? I for one know that I can obtain all the enjoyment I desire just from you alone. But because you are so persistent in questioning me, I will disclose that I have a place I want you to see.' He said. My embarrassment faded quickly as I tried to think of where on earth he was talking about. 'How far away is it?' I asked warily, and he narrowed his eyes at my never-ending curiosity. 'You will see very soon if you stop hindering our progress with your incessant questioning. Now come here.' He ordered, gesturing for me to approach him. I blinked at him vacantly for a while as I tried to work out why he'd asked me to get closer, earning myself a severe glare from him at my lack of cooperation.

He reached over and took my hand after I didn't move, tugging me close to his body. 'To answer your previous question, if you wish to walk at this snail pace then where I want to take you is years away. Now stop being so uncooperative.' He chastised, frowning at me severely as I dodged his arm as it went to snake out and grab me around my waist.

I stumbled away from his grasp as he attempted unsuccessfully to secure me. 'What are you doing?' I rebuked, scowling as he tried to pick me up. 'I can walk on my…'

Without another moment's hesitation, he'd appeared directly in front of me and swept me up into his arms.

I squealed at the shock but only started to struggle when he held me tighter to his body. 'I… I can walk on my own.' I finished, but he disregarded my statement. 'Good for you, but we aren't walking. Now hold on to me.' He sighed.

I clenched my teeth at his obnoxious reply and stopped squirming, permitting him to pull me harder against his chest as I realised why he'd picked me up. The last time he'd used his oni speed with me in his arms had been during our date and my heart was pounding as I thought about travelling so fast again. The sensation had definitely taken some getting used to and I was praying it wouldn't make me as sick anymore, but hopefully because I was used to going fast on horseback it wouldn't affect me as much. Not that the speeds were comparable, of course.

I closed my eyes and clutched his haori, preparing myself for the discomfort.

When nothing happened even after a few seconds, I instantly opened my eyes. He was watching me cling to him like I'd done during our date and he didn't even need to speak to let me know that it fed his ego to have me in his arms like this.

I frowned. 'If you aren't going to move then let me walk.' I mumbled, my face going red as his smirk became even more smug.

He took a step forward and began to walk normally, holding me just as tightly as before. 'Although it would be faster to use my oni speed, I don't mind walking with you like this either.' He teased. I only frowned at him, my mind too clouded from the pleasantness of his warmth to think of a suitable retort, and he chuckled at the frustration on my face. 'How unusual. The very first time I held you this way you were much tenser than this. Is it because you've grown to like being in my arms?' He harassed, struggling to mask his enjoyment as my cheeks turned bright red. I didn't want to admit it but I did feel more at ease here now than during previous occasions, not only because I trusted him but because… well, it _did_ feel nice.

As soon as I cringed at that thought, he chuckled again. 'Enough teasing. We should hurry since we only have a few hours left before it starts to get dark. I don't blame you for sleeping until lunch time because of the frightening ordeal you went through last night but we should at least attempt to get to this place before twilight.' He joshed, eyes twinkling. I was only too willing to lower my face so I would be spared from his vexatious expression. 'Fine.' I mumbled, holding onto him again and hoping he would move this time.

Thankfully as soon as I was settled, the world immediately turned into a blur of colour.

I felt an immense pressure pummel over my whole body but I didn't want to close my eyes because I was too intrigued by the speed we were going. I didn't know how he could go this fast and yet dodge every tree without exception and I wondered if it was because what he was seeing was different to what I was seeing. I liked to think I was ready to start learning how to use my oni speed too but I knew Kazama would believe otherwise. It had always been something I was desperate to learn and I was disappointed that it might come last, but I made a mental note to ask him about it later.

No sooner had I thought that, we came to an abrupt stop.

I lurched forward in his arms from the momentum and he held me tightly to his body, even after the wind caused by the speed of his travel had caught up to us and stirred the dust at his feet. When I looked around I noticed the forest was thinning slightly and I let out a deep breath as I worked on recovering from my dizziness.

Kazama started to walk towards the light streaming from the break in the trees in front of us. 'We are almost there.' He said, his deep voice strangely compatible with the chirping birds above our heads and the wind coursing through the leaves. I didn't know where we were but I could tell in the short time we'd been running for we'd travelled a fair distance, far away from where we'd come from. The trees remained too close for me to see very much in front of us but I could smell a sweet scent, a scent that reminded me of Sen's garden. I was too curious for a second to register he was still carrying me until I looked up and saw the expression on his face. He seemed pleased that I hadn't opted to leave him yet and was seeing how long he could hold me for before I realised what I was doing.

Without hesitation I started to squirm. 'Ok, you can let me go.' I asserted, frowning up at him as his arms only tightened around me. He chuckled at my desperation but made no effort to do as I'd asked. Instead he continued on his way, stepping over a branch and heading towards the light ahead of us. I continued to struggle against him, but when he showed no inclination of relinquishing me I was forced to give up.

Through the blinding light filtering through the trees I couldn't really see much apart from a splash of pale green. It was lighter than the colour of the leaves around us and softer too, and I could see flecks of white amongst it. The strange scent was growing stronger too, calming and rich.

Kazama stopped just before the trees ended. 'We're here now.' He announced, letting me slide from his grip and smirking as I automatically started to fix my twisted kimono. I shifted my gaze from him to the curtain of leaves blocking from view whatever he wanted to show me. My suspicion had now morphed into full-blown curiosity. 'Where are we?' I asked. I could feel him looking at me but I was too confused to blush. 'Wait until you see it before you ask me such a question. Your impatience truly knows no bounds today.' He sighed, shaking his head.

Without waiting for my reply, he reached out to part the leaves.

I covered my eyes as the light blinded me. Kazama didn't appear to be fazed by the brightness and he grabbed my arm as he saw I was too sightless to move. I became aware of grass beneath my shoes as he pulled me along behind him, and I lowered the hand shielding my eyes to squint at my surroundings.

Bit by bit, I began to see colours and shapes as my eyes adjusted. We were standing in a massive clearing in the middle of the forest, the largest one I'd ever seen. It was covered in pale grass that reached past our ankles and its thin blades caressed my feet as Kazama led me further towards its centre. There were white and yellow wildflowers scattered in patches and a thin creek running straight through the middle, framed with charcoal grey rocks. There was no noise, save for the quiet sounds of birds in the forest and the trickling of water.

I'd never seen such a tranquil looking place. It was possible no one had been here before; at least not in a few years.

When I turned to face him, he was soaking up the amazement on my face. It took me a few seconds to find my words. 'How did you find this place?' I demanded. He grinned, proud he'd managed to surprise me, and he resumed walking. The clearing was so large that it would take a while to walk across to where the forest began on the other side, but I knew that wasn't where Kazama was walking to anyway. We were heading towards the creek running through the centre.

He spoke as soon as I'd caught up with him. 'It's a secret, of course. But know that this is only a small taste of what I would do for you as my wife. You should be grateful that I found this place for you.' He sighed, feigning inconvenience. I lowered my eyes, blushing as I noticed that even though he'd made it sound as if locating this meadow had been a nuisance, those words had made my heart beat faster.

 _I found this place for you._

It made my skin grow hot to think that Kazama had done something just for me. I'd learned that even though he was a bit harsh sometimes he was more than capable of being thoughtful and I dared to imagine that even if I married him he would continue to dote on me. I feared he would stop being attentive if were wed.

After a few more minutes of silent walking, we came to the creek.

The water was clear and untainted but very shallow, probably only a metre deep, and I could see the flat rocks lining the creek bed below. The deep green moss on the surface of the rocks above water were sprouting miniscule white flowers that despite their small size gave off a strong perfume. However, the source of the pleasant smell was from the ones growing in the field, clumped in large groups throughout the grass.

This place was like something from a dream.

Suddenly, Kazama sighed. 'We will spend the afternoon here.' He announced, moving away from the water once he'd finished inspecting it.

I snapped myself out of my daze and turned around just in time to see him sit down, sinking into the grass next to a small patch of wildflowers. His skin was glowing from the sunlight, as was his hair and eyes, and I very shakily walked over to him as my legs threatened to give way. It was unusual knowing that we were truly all alone, but it was a relief too. Although I valued Amagiri and Shiranui's watchful gaze it was no secret that their supervision did nothing to prevent Kazama from making advances towards me. At least here I felt more at peace knowing that if he did do something embarrassing then no one else would see it, although this seclusion also had the potential to work against me.

But when I slanted my head to sneak a peek at him, he wasn't looking in my direction. He was gazing up at the sky like he could see something I couldn't, not even a flicker of complacency on his features. He appeared to be almost at peace and I revelled in this rare sight, as it wasn't every day that I saw him make such an expression.

He turned to me all of a sudden and I quickly looked away, scared he'd caught me staring, but it seemed as though he was going to speak anyway. 'I suppose I should warn you that we are drawing closer to Aomori. We will no doubt reach it in about 2 months if we don't come across any problems but I can't guarantee we will be able to find a boat to Hakodate as soon as we arrive.' He said out of the blue.

Instantaneously, the feeling of dread hit me deep in the stomach.

I'd often thought about how long it would take until we got to Aomori, the last town before we reached Ezo. Even though I was glad to have a prediction of how far away we were it also made it feel like a death sentence. The date had been set for when I could find out the fate of my friends, be it good or bad, and if it be the latter then in 2 months I might be looking down at their graves. My stomach twisted in horror and I shifted as I thought about it. I didn't want to think about that possibility. There was no way they could die, not after everything they'd already been through. After turning into rasetsus, fighting Kazama a million times, battling against ronin and opposing soldiers, there was no way they could die, _right_? They'd endured so much and come out alive, so why would this be any different?

At least that's what I tried to tell myself.

Kazama noticed my discomfort but continued anyway. 'By extension, Chizuru, this also means we are drawing closer to Yamamura. We will arrive there probably within the fortnight and will stay for anywhere up to a week. I have no doubt you will find it to your liking.' He said, beginning to lazily pick at the grass like he often did when seated for more than a few minutes at a time. If I hadn't have been so perplexed by that unfamiliar word I would have admired this oddly endearing behaviour like I always did. 'What's that?' I questioned, panicking for a second that I didn't recognise the name. I may not have had a keen sense of direction but I liked to think I knew at least most of the cities in Japan, and I'd never heard of Yamamura before.

Kazama dismissed my confusion with a wave of his hand. 'It's the name given to the Yume clan. All oni villages have names, just like normal towns. Yamamura is derived from their location at the summit of a mountain and it just so happens your clan village was called Yukimura because you lived in a region that snowed all winter.' He said, watching the surprise flit across my face. He observed me silently as I thought about it, not saying anything more until I'd responded.

I nodded slowly. 'So do all clan village names end in _mura_?' I asked as I noticed both Yamamura and Yukimura ended in the word for _village_. He smiled a little, leaning back on both arms. 'Indeed. They have had these names for many centuries, created by the first clan leaders. Yamamura lies on the tallest mountain in the Gin alpine ranges. Have you heard of them?' He asked me, to which I responded with a nod. 'I have, but I didn't think they were habitable.' I said, struggling to believe anyone could live in such a barren landscape. He shrugged. 'Maybe not for humans.' He answered simply.

I'd learned about the Gin mountains in school, the region which stretched across the North-West side of Japan. It was still some distance from Aomori but now that I knew we were only two weeks away from the ranges I was able to visualise where exactly in the country we were. We had already travelled so far and it was disheartening that we had so long to go, but I knew if I'd decided to travel on my own I would probably still be on the other side of Japan. It was times like this that I was truly grateful for Kazama's help.

Once I'd processed what he'd said, I realised he hadn't really told me much about the Yume clan apart from where it was situated. 'Have you been to Yamamura before?' I asked, tilting my head as I waited for his answer. As always, I feared he wouldn't answer me but thankfully now he'd fully recovered from the bean sprout incident he had become rather open to conversation. 'I have, but only a few times.' He revealed, picking some more grass and consequently widening the dirtless patch he'd created in front of his crossed legs.

I was pleased he had answered me and I tried my luck with some more questions. 'Why did you go?'

I blushed as he smirked, conveying he was pleased I was showing interest in him. I wished he didn't make my curiosity into such a big deal but thankfully he didn't mention it this time. 'I went to get my premonition marking read when I was younger and to attend Hanami's parents' wedding two decades ago, both on separate occasions.' He sighed, brushing the dirt off his fingertips and leaning back on his arms.

I grew suspicious as he brought up his premonition marking. I didn't know where his was but it wasn't on his chest or shoulders, I knew that for sure after seeing him bathing. I cringed as the image of his shirtless torso entered my mind and boggled my thoughts for a few seconds before I regained my bearings. I'd seen so many shirtless men in the Shinsengumi, but I'd seen a softness to Kazama's body that I hadn't noticed in the others. He had such mesmerising skin, pale and unblemished.

Kazama watched me blankly as I blushed and I could feel him analysing me for clues as to why that was. I swallowed, clearing my throat before he could figure it out. 'If Hanami's parents' marriage was 20 years ago then why did they wait so long to have a child?' I clarified, attempting to distract him from examining me, although I was genuinely confused as to why there was 7 years between their ceremony and Hanami's birth. Kazama seemed amused by my lack of understanding. 'I've told you before that the birth rate of onis is much lower than humans. Some oni couples are childless for decades and it is likely the same situation will occur for us as well, although definitely not for lack of trying.' He purred. I went red at his suggestive comment, but not even the embarrassment could save me from feeling a little discouraged too. I'd never imagined I'd need to wait that long to become a mother. I'd always wanted children and the possibility that it could take so many years was troubling.

I sighed, looking away from him to hide my face. 'Are you sure it's alright for us just to show up? Will they have enough room for us?' I asked, changing the subject. He chuckled as if I'd said something humorous. 'Chizuru, it is likely Hanami has known of our arrival before we even left Kyoto. Due to her powers of foresight she can find out whatever she wants to, whenever she wants to, and that includes anything will affect her clan. At 13 years of age her ability is almost unparalleled.' He said. He sounded almost in awe of her power and I couldn't deny it made me feel somewhat uncertain. He may have promised he didn't want me for my power but at the end of the day he wouldn't be seeking my hand in marriage if I wasn't a pureblood. It wasn't as if he was chasing me because he liked me.

I went red at the notion, but the butterflies I got from that thought were quickly squashed when I reminded myself how impossible that was. If he'd gone 79 years without a wife it wouldn't have solely been due to an absence of eligible partners, surely. He didn't seem like the kind of man to be so easily taken by a woman given how picky he was and I wasn't exactly what I imagined Kazama to go for under normal circumstances. Thinking about it made me feel oddly… miserable.

I sighed without realising, unaware that Kazama was watching my fluctuating emotions with narrowed eyes. 'What?' He asked.

I jumped as he addressed me, startled from my concentration and embarrassed that he'd caught me thinking. 'What do you mean?' I murmured, trying to sound like I had no idea what he was talking about.

He wasn't buying it, however, and persisted with his questioning. 'Would you mind explaining to me why such a dejected expression came across your face just moments ago?' He pressed, reaching out to turn my head to him. I kept my eyes downcast lest he see right through me. 'It was nothing. I was just… thinking about how I don't want to come across as rude for showing up uninvited at the Yume clan.' I said. It wasn't entirely untrue which was maybe why Kazama only narrowed his eyes instead of continuing to pester me about it.

After a solid minute of being burned alive by his gaze, he finally sighed. 'I see. Well rest assured that even if we truly did arrive without prior warning, we would always be welcome. It is a very rare event when a clan leader visits another village, especially when one such leader is the long lost Yukimura princess.' He said casually. I blushed at the title but was relieved he'd seemed to have forgotten about my white lie.

Before I could dwell on anything else, Kazama resumed speaking. 'There is something else I need to warn you about as well, Chizuru.' He said, turning his head to face me. I blushed as our eyes met, tingles shooting down my spine as they ensnared me. He looked serious now and it kind of made me feel a bit uneasy. 'What's that?' I asked awkwardly, slightly nervous.

He didn't speak straight away, his eyes instead trailing over my face, and it only made my blush more intense. 'It is customary for Hanami to give a gift to the clan leaders that visit her. You will be allowed to ask her one question, any question, to which she will give the answer. I decided I would tell you now so you had some time to mull over what you wanted to ask. Of course, it's not obligatory. You may choose to save this gift for a time when you really need it.' He suggested. I instantly thought about all the things that I wanted to know more about; my family, my past, my heritage… there was so much I needed to discover about myself that I'd never had the opportunity to.

I looked up at Kazama as I couldn't come to a decision. 'Anything?' I clarified. He nodded, resuming his grass picking. 'Yes. But think seriously about what you choose as Hanami only gives this gift once. If at any time you need to know anything else she will expect you to give her something in return.' He answered. I nodded in reply, taking his warning seriously.

I would be sure not to ask anything I would regret, but I couldn't help but think about how strange it was that she would give that sort of gift. I could only imagine how much power it would take to be able to find out whatever you wanted on command and I pondered if with that sort of ability she might have been more powerful than Sen. It was crazy to think that someone was capable of prophecy, just like that lady in the market on New Year's.

I froze as I thought about it.

Could she… could she have been from the Yume clan too?

I supressed my panic for long enough to stammer a question. 'Kazama-san, you know that woman in Kyoto, the one that supposedly told our future?' I asked him quietly. He turned to give me a conceited expression, one that told me he knew exactly what I was about to ask him. 'How could I forget? She said such pleasant things about us. I remember every word of her prediction.' He sighed, his eyes sizzling as he beheld me. I had to lower my own as I spoke. 'Was she… from the Yume clan?' I mumbled, dreading the answer.

The massive grin that split across his face suggested I'd guessed correctly. 'Is that a problem?'

As he gave his answer, I reflected on what she'd said.

 _Sun and moon. Day and night. Starkly opposing, yet one could not exist without the other. They are complete equals despite their difference, complementing each other perfectly. There is no stronger pairing than that of the sun and moon. I can sense that you both will share many hundreds of years in a peaceful love that few have yet experienced. A love that burns like fire…_

So the lady was actually…. actually predicting our _real_ future? Did that mean everything she'd said was true?

I watched in humiliation as Kazama's expression became even more arrogant as he grasped the reason for my pallid complexion. 'What's the matter? You look like you've just heard something shocking, my dear bride. Is it really that surprising that such a passionate love could exist between us?' He questioned. I had no answer for him straight away and he only grew more amused the longer he watched me for.

I refused to believe it. That woman had said we would be happy with one another but I'd thought she'd been making it up, as the thought of falling in love with him had once repulsed me. But knowing she might have had some merit to her words… it _terrified_ me. I was already so afraid my heart was mellowing and this was the last thing I needed to hear right now.

After watching me gape like a fish for a few more seconds, he smirked. 'In order to curtail your alarm I'm going to explain to you how prophecy works. Are you going to listen to me or do I need to wait until you've closed your mouth?' He asked, tilting his head to the side as he watched me trying to salvage some composure. I blushed and shut my mouth, nodding even though I almost hadn't heard him. I was too preoccupied with trying to wrestle with my incredulity.

He shook his head as my face remained pale and vacant. 'The future is like a web of possibilities that is always changing. All that woman did was look into a future where you chose to be with me. This doesn't mean it's going to happen, even though I know it will, but it means that if you and I are wed then that is the future that awaits us. Surely you didn't need someone to tell you that though, Chizuru? Even you should know that an eternity with another oni is better than a few short years with a human. How you are even considering such a life I will never understand.'

Despite how harsh his words sounded they were nothing new to me. It was no secret that the lifespans of Hijikata and I were completely different and that he would leave me well before I'd really starting living. I didn't want to live with the agony of being a widow for the hundreds of years that followed his death. I was beginning to think immortality was a curse rather than a blessing.

I chose not to say anything, nor did I react to how intently he was staring at me. He wanted me to retort, to say something to challenge him, but I didn't feel like I could right now. Learning that I would be happier with him than I once thought felt strangely bittersweet and the worst part by far was that he was right about the dangers of being with a human. I _would_ suffer an unfortunate fate if I chose to be Hijikata, but the thought of letting him go was just too painful. Who knew love could be so harrowing.

All of a sudden, he slipped his hand into my hair and lifted my face to his.

As I looked up at him in shock, his scarlet eyes captured mine. They were burning as hot as the sun above our heads and I could feel my heartbeat quickening as he studied me, his eyes coursing over each feature of my face and trying to detect anything that might let him know how I was feeling. He often examined me like this but it never grew any less embarrassing.

Just before I was about to say something, he pressed his thumb to my lips as if to silence the words before I spoke them. 'You really are afraid of falling in love with me, aren't you?'

I tensed up, feeling the colour drain from my face. He'd asked the same question before I'd tried to change into my oni form for the first time, after we'd left the village where I'd met Lily. At that time I'd been so flustered I'd reacted to his question by denying it, and when I'd gone off to meditate I'd told myself that I wasn't scared at all.

But I _was_ scared. I was scared that I was closer to that reality than I realised.

The sensation of Kazama ghosting his thumb back down my cheek brought me back from my daydream. 'You seem quite dazed, dear wife. I presume the answer to my question is a 'yes' although that's not particularly surprising. Your youth and innocence is where your fear of intimacy originates from, but I assure you that very soon you will begin to yearn for it; and when that time comes, remember it is only I who can give it to you.' He said coolly, tilting his head to one side to observe the awareness return to my face. His embarrassing words were all I needed to rouse me from silence but they did nothing for my sanity. As usual, it stirred something within me when he said things like that, as if some part of me already knew it was true.

I lowered my eyes, raising an arm to try and push him off me. 'Kazama-san, really...' I mumbled, my cheeks starting to burn. He chuckled, smirking as he noticed my astonishment thawing. 'Ah, a response at last. I thought you were going to stay speechless forever. Wouldn't that be boring.' He said, letting my chin slip from his grasp. He leaned back a bit to put more distance between us but it wasn't enough to stop my heart from pounding.

As I lifted my eyes to his face, he was giving me an amused smile. It was a smile that had more meaning than just to tease me, I was certain, although I wasn't really sure what that meaning was. But it captured me nonetheless, just like all the other times, leaving me wondering how this man could make me feel this way. Something deep inside me had been trying for a while now to tell me exactly how that was so but I'd been so desperate to keep the voice suppressed that I hadn't listened.

But it wasn't just whispering now; it was shouting. As I sat there beside Kazama it was screaming at me, telling me something that I'd been certain was impossible. I had been dancing on the edge of a line I swore I would never cross, playing russian roulette with each step I took. Just a single misplaced foot was all that was needed before I lost my balance, and somewhere along that line that was exactly what happened. For weeks I'd been fighting a battle I'd already lost.

A battle to protect my heart.

The blood completely drained from my face as it hit me.

He was no longer just a stranger, not even a travel companion. In fact I didn't really know what he was to me yet but it wasn't what he _should_ have been. It was much too early to discern how deep my partiality was, although I knew it wasn't close to what I felt for Hijikata, but at this stage _any_ degree of affection for him filled me with disgrace.

How the hell could I have let this happen? I cursed myself a thousand times over and then more again at how feeble my heart was if it had allowed me to develop feelings for someone like Kazama. I already had enough problems in my life and I didn't need potentially falling in love with a narcissistic, temperamental oni to be added to the list, as not only would that complicate this journey but my affection for Hijikata too.

When he attracted my attention with a click of his tongue, his smile had transformed into a frown. 'Are you going to tell me why you're going green or do you expect me to guess?' He asked, unimpressed. Now that I'd admitted my feelings to myself it made it so much harder for me to keep my lucidity intact, so I avoided his gaze. I knew if I spoke now I'd end up stuttering and making an absolute fool of myself.

Kazama's frown grew deeper and was shortly accompanied by narrowing eyes. 'I must admit your behaviour today is slightly unusual. I doubt you're ill, given your clan power. Is it because of what happened last night? Are you still stricken with terror from the horrid creature we found in your cupboard?' He said, his frown smoothing out as he teased me. I started to turn red instead of green and I took in a deep breath. 'I'm fine.' I mumbled, proud that I'd managed to get those two words out without spluttering.

He sighed at my denial, refusing to peel his eyes off my face. 'If you insist on telling me everything is fine then at least pretend like it is. I'm not indifferent to your emotions despite what you think, so if something is distressing you then I deserve to know what it is.' He said curtly. I pressed my hands to my cheeks to cool the fire in them, begging him silently to drop the issue, but I knew him well enough to know he wouldn't. If I kept denying it he would only continue to hound me.

I took in a deep breath. 'I don't want to talk about it.' I murmured.

As he heard those words, he almost seemed to freeze. By default I had just let him know there actually _was_ something wrong, but if I didn't refuse so sternly then I had no doubt that he'd trick me into telling the truth, and this was one secret I couldn't afford to spill.

After a few seconds of unbroken silence, he finally gave up. 'I will respect your wish for now, but if at any point I see it becoming more of a problem then I won't back down so easily. Do you understand?' He demanded. I sighed at his persistent attitude but nodded to appease him.

We sat in mild awkwardness for a while, watching a few bees collecting pollen from the wildflowers next to us. They ignored us completely and carried on with their tasks, the drone of their wings so loud in the serenity that I could almost feel the vibration on my skin. I felt a bit guilty because he appeared to be marginally worried about me, but it was necessary because if he found out then he would torment me day and night. I resisted the urge to put my head in my hands as I mulled over how insane this whole situation was. I couldn't believe it had taken me so long to realise. I'd always been a bit naïve but I didn't think it could apply even to my _own_ feelings.

After what felt like an eternity, it was him that broke the uncomfortable silence 'Seeing as though we have quite a bit of daylight left, are you in the mood to begin instruction?' He asked, keeping his gaze trained on my face. I was torn momentarily from my distress by his question. 'Instruction? As in swordplay?' I gasped. I saw a spark of relief on his face as I perked up but he quenched it instantly. 'Yes, but since you don't have your kodachi and are dressed in a kimono I will only assess your skills. The real instruction shall begin once we leave the village.' He said. I was relieved we were going to be doing something other than sitting idly on the grass for the rest of the afternoon and I nodded. 'Ok, but what will we use instead of swords?'

Before he answered, he rose up of the ground and flicked a few blades of grass off his haori. 'I will go source some sticks from the forest. Wait here until I return.' He said. He was towering above me, the light of the sun so bright behind him that he appeared to be a silhouette. I could see the feathery strands of his hair shifting with the wind.

I nodded, blushing and looking back down at the grass. 'Ok.'

No sooner had I spoken did he leave.

Now that he was gone I really did put my head in my hands. Thankfully he was allowing us to begin swordsmanship today because it prevented me from dwelling too much on my earlier epiphany. I had really screwed up this time. It was much too surreal for me to process now so I would have to wait until I was alone to untangle my thoughts, but I still couldn't get it out of my head.

 _Kazama_? _Really_?

Of all the men in the world, why _him_?

And what would the Shinsengumi do if they found out about this? What would _Sen_ do?

She would have the most trouble believing it, probably even moreso than _me_. To her, Kazama was the pinnacle of exasperation and I really didn't blame her for thinking that because he was less than pleasant towards her. I wasn't sure if there was a reason his distaste or if it had always been this way, but it didn't matter in any case. Whether there was a legitimate cause of their animosity or not, it was a given that Sen would lose it if she could see me right now. I hoped this was just a silly phase that I would grow out of before it became utter infatuation.

Kazama came back a few minutes later, his rapid appearance causing me to jump.

He smirked at my surprise, holding two long sticks in his hand. He seemed proud of himself just like a dog that had fetched something his master had thrown, and I went red at the fulfilled smile on his face.

How could I survive 2 more months of this? I could already feel my clarity eroding.

He gestured for me to get up. 'Today I will see how good you are. Your level of skill will determine how I train you, so make sure you impress me.' He challenged. I dragged myself up off the grass and blushed as he didn't take his eyes off me, accepting a stick from him. It was a suitable length and slightly crooked, not that I was expecting a stick would be perfectly straight anyway, but he'd done a pretty good job at finding something appropriate for practice.

When he'd taken his position across from me, he didn't even raise his stick to get ready or even assume proper fighting stance. He just stood still and looked at me expectantly, just as Saito had done when he'd asked to test out my ability. It seemed he doubted I was any good which hurt me a little bit but I supposed it was true. That _was_ the reason why I had asked him to teach me in the first place.

Kazama raised an eyebrow. 'When you're ready.' He urged.

I nodded and brought my stick up, getting into stance. It had been many years since I'd learned self-defence so my skills were most likely rusty. I just hoped I wouldn't make a _total_ fool of myself.

Inhaling a sharp breath, I leapt at him.

I raised my stick and brought it down, but he sidestepped my attack before I'd even made it. As quick as lightning he'd flicked my weapon out of my hands with his own, causing it to fall to the ground beside my feet.

When I turned to him, he was trying desperately not to grin. 'That was appalling.' He remarked simply, pointing at my stick with the end of his to communicate he wanted me to pick it up again. I sighed, embarrassed. 'Well I'm sorry I haven't had as much practice as you.' I said defensively. He chuckled, moving away from me again. 'Your movements are painfully easy to read, Chizuru, and you're too slow. Try again and this time after you strike at me I will strike back. Be prepared to block it.'

I turned away from his obnoxious face, moving into position.

When he gestured for me to begin, I did so straight away.

I bounded forward to strike at him, swinging the stick down towards his shoulder, but just before it made contact he lazily raised his own to block it. I'd often admired how nonchalant he was when fighting but now that he was using such bored tactics with me it was no longer entertaining.

Before I could dwell on my frustration for too long, he swung his stick towards my neck. It made a whistling sound as it arched through the air, reminding me to raise my own stick to block him, but I hadn't even brought it up halfway before I felt the coolness of wood press to my throat. He held the position for a second before he lowered it, his smirk even more agonising than before. 'How you are still alive with these sword skills, I will never know. No wonder those dogs caged you up.' He sighed. I scowled as he continued to titter to himself, pointing to the patch of grass he wanted me to stand in. 'This time I will go first. If you manage to block it, try and strike me yourself.' He ordered.

I had an inkling that he was getting more amusement out of this than he anticipated. I wouldn't be surprised if he made us practice every day from now on just so he could obtain his daily dose of enjoyment from watching me fail pathetically.

I did as he asked, bringing my stick up in readiness to block him.

When he saw I was prepared, he wasted no time in attacking.

I let out a soft squeal of surprise as he launched in my direction, bringing his stick down like I'd done to him. I raised it quickly to block his attack and surprisingly succeeded, but the force of his hit sent jolts of vibrations down my arm. I winced as I cowered under what would have been nowhere near his full strength and slipped my stick away from his to try to hit his side. However, I was so panicked that when I swung it upwards the tip of it got caught in the long grass and the friction tore it from my hands. Due to the force of my swing, my hand continued upwards by the time it dawned on me what was happening I'd already hit him in the ribs.

I gasped, my hands flying to cover my mouth as I realised I'd technically just punched him.

He sucked in a sharp breath, clutching at his side with his right hand. 'Oww.' He hissed. My guilt tripled as I saw him double over and I moved closer to him, biting my lip. 'Are you ok, Kazama-san? I'm sorry.' I gasped, instinctively reaching out to press my hand to his arm.

However, when I saw the expression on his face I immediately dropped my hands.

He straightened himself without hesitation, a wide grin splitting his face as I fell for his ploy. I went red as he started laughing, picking up my stick and passing it back to me. I was so angry that he'd tricked me that I couldn't even chastise him or put my hands on my hips.

When he looked up to gauge my reaction, it only made it harder for him to control himself. 'Careful, Chizuru. With that strength you could really hurt someone. You're lucky I'm still alive.' He goaded, eyes squinting as he laughed. If I hadn't have been so mad I would have melted into a puddle on the grass. He was torturously handsome, but I was not in the mood to appreciate his appearance right now.

I glowered at him. 'Kazama-san, that's not funny. I thought I'd hurt you.' I snapped, unable to reign in my displeasure. My irritation had the opposite effect I'd intended and his grin grew wider. 'If I had to liken the pain of that punch to something, it would probably be on par with a butterfly's bite. You don't need to worry about hurting me, although I'm flattered you were so concerned.' He said, lifting a hand to push a strand of hair from my face. I instantly went red, my heart beginning to pound harder in my chest. Every time he did things like that I grew even more vulnerable.

Kazama looked at me for a bit longer which made me blush darker, and then he tossed our sticks onto the grass. 'Your speed, aim and power need lots of work but your stance and technique are adequate. I am indeed looking forward to training you mercilessly.' He said sadistically, his eyes glinting as he gave me a sidelong glance. I had no doubt he would do exactly that, but I was looking forward to getting started anyway.

When he sat back down on the grass it became evident that he had finished his assessment. 'Unless you wish to try and hurt me some more, we are done for the day.' He said. I sat down beside him and folded my legs, aware he was watching me adjust myself on the grass. I could feel his eyes boring into every inch of my face and I pondered whether he was still thinking about why I'd been so enigmatic before. No matter how many times in the future he nagged me for the cause of my secrecy I would never disclose the answer. Guarding how I felt about him was now my main priority.

We sat there in silence for a really long time, none of us needing to break the peace. There was a while to go before sundown but I predicted we would probably leave before then to get dinner. I was dying for another hot bath and a nice meal and to finally get into my warm bed, and I prayed tonight would be less eventful than the last. What were the chances that I would have a nightmare _and_ something hiding in my room in one night. I really was not having much luck lately especially when today was taken into consideration.

We watched the sun make its arch in the sky until the blue faded to orange, and the orange to pink. The clearing looked maybe even more beautiful at dusk, when I could see the reflection of the rose tinted clouds in the water and feel the crisp chill in the air of an approaching night.

When it was finally time to go, I made sure I burned the meadow into my memory.

* * *

I dragged myself into my room, my eyes practically sealed shut with fatigue.

I was finally ready for bed; dinner eaten, bath had, teeth brushed and hair tamed. I'd folded up my kimono and placed it back in the cupboard where I'd found it, making sure it was ready for tomorrow as well. I'd already rolled my futon out on the floor and arranged the blankets but I'd forgotten to ask for something which could light the candle on the table beside my door, so I was fumbling around in the dark. Not even the moonlight could enter my room as I'd closed and locked my windows.

I practically collapsed into my futon, wriggling under the blankets and immediately closing my eyes.

Kazama and I had parted ways about an hour ago to get ready for bed. He'd said goodnight with his usual smirk and a quick cup of my cheek before he'd left. I was still very much shaken up by today's revelation as the one thing I swore I would never do, I had done. It was like the whole universe was against me; as if losing my friends wasn't bad enough, but now I had to deal with the shame of knowing I was beginning to develop feelings for someone who was once my enemy.

I screwed my eyes shut tighter, curling into a ball under my blankets.

I should have known this would happen. I should have seen the writing on the wall every time I got tingles when he looked at me or how he made my heart beat faster when we touched. Despite all my resistance I'd been powerless against him, almost like it _was_ destiny, and it was petrifying. Everyone would be so disappointed in me for this, for allowing him to get to me. Sen, the Shinsengumi… Hijikata. I had to make sure I stopped this before it got worse, but how would I do that? The time for prevention had passed, long gone before I'd even realised I was starting to like him. He would need to do something unforgivable if this was to end.

I rolled over in my futon and hugged my pillow, imploring the thoughts to leave my head. I didn't want to think of it anymore. It made me feel too guilty. Instead I thought of the festival tomorrow, which just happened to be my birthday. It didn't quite bring with it the joy it normally did because I would have no one to celebrate it with, but I was sure that wherever the Shinsengumi were they would remember. I smiled a little as I thought of it, but I couldn't shake the dark cloud of misery that hung over me.

Kazama had said it would take two months to get to Ezo. Anything could go wrong in two months and the war was only getting worse. It was becoming even more dire up north and we were running out of time, but I just had to remain thankful that I had Kazama, Shiranui and Amagiri with me or the journey would have been a very slow and lonely one. It reminded me to think of something I could do to repay them, a gift to give them at the end of this trip.

After a while my thoughts got cloudy and my muscles began to relax. I let repose take me without a fight, desperate to be released from reality. I didn't want to think about anything anymore. All I wanted to do was sleep.

And eventually, I did.

* * *

 **Ending note**

Wooo! How exciting, they're coming up to the Yume clan. Just letting you know you won't have to wait a billion chapters for that haha, it's actually coming up relatively soon after they leave the village (yay). Just a reminder about the poll on my profile page! If you can please vote for what you think is Kazama's middle power!

ALSO I NOW HAVE AN INSTAGRAM PAGE FOR MY ART. It's **fleurlilas_art**

I've only got 2 pics up so far and I'm not a super amazing artist but I love drawing so check it out. I'll draw things and characters in this story, and maybe some other images as well. I made some art for something that happens in one of Yume chapters which I'm absolutely dying to post but I can't because it has to remain a surprise ):

Also another reminder that it's my exam period really soon so I don't know how often I'll post until it's over but you won't have to wait a ridiculous amount of because I can't go that long without writing haha. It's like an addiction, especially because there's some super interesting chapters coming up :o

Also (don't read this part if you haven't read this chapter yet) but omg yass Chizuru has finally realised her true feelings. This was a pretty difficult chapter to write because I wanted her to react to her feelings in a semi-believable way. Sigh. I hope I didn't just ruin the story with this chapter haha.


	29. Day and Night

**Hey guys, sorry it's been so long. I haven't finished my exams yet but I wanted to post a chapter because it's been two weeks, so here's a long one.**

 **I don't know when I'll post the next one but hopefully it won't be too long!**

 **Enjoy! :D**

 **Aonami96** \- Yaay! I'm happy too she realised her feelings haha because it means the story can get even more interesting! Thanks for wishing me luck with my exams, the majority of them have passed but I've still got two more :o thanks for the review

 **Gembokkunci47** \- Heeey ! Thanks for the review! Sorry about the long wait for this one, but it is a long chapter so I hope you enjoy it. I tried to make it sweet haha, so let me know what you think! Thanks :D

 **ImpracticalDemon** \- Thank you :3 I'm really excited to describe their sword fights in the future, and there will be plenty of occasions for Chizuru to get revenge haha. Hope you like this new chapter!

 **Kuronoageha** \- Hello, thanks for reviewing! Thanks for all the comments on my story, I too am grateful Chizuru has realised her feelings as it means the story can get more interesting from here (yass). I hope you like this chapter too :D

 **OniPrincess** \- Hey!

Because your review is really long I'll just go over the main points briefly. I can't say I have 1000 suggestions, but If you like white haired guys I suggest looking into Vampire Knight, Snow White with the Red Hair, Inu x Boku SS, Kamisama Kiss, Fruits Basket, Inuyasha and Death Parade. Most are romance but their genres vary. Most of those animes have manga equivalents but I haven't read them because I haven't gotten into manga.

About the rating, there are many implied mentions of sex (thanks to Kazama), and Chizuru actually _did_ say the F word, and the scenes of violence I have written (such as in the town with the heads on the fences, Kaoru's fight, etc) I decided I would classify as M just to be safe. Also keep in mind the story isn't _actually_ finished yet so a lot more things can happen. About the action, I will try to add some in when possible but I don't want to do too much of the done-to-death Chizuru gets kidnapped and then Kazama saves her because the whole anime was about people saving Chizuru, and this story has a strong focus on powers because we didn't see much of that in the anime. That's also why I chose not to add the rogue onis into this chapter; I also feel as if I'd need to have Kazama mention their existence or something before I introduced them or it might seem too sudden, as the oni race is supposedly peaceful.

About the mura thing, what I meant is that their village names end in mura (which Yukimura already does). So her village name is Yukimura, the same as her last name. For Yamamura, 'yama' means mountain and the Yume clan is located on a mountain. Kazama's village name and those of the others will be disclosed later on, but they aren't Kazamamura or Shiranuimura because that does sound weird haha. As for everything else you asked including why Kazama doesn't wear his necklace, where the necklace is and why Chizuru has a lack of memories, etc, I won't disclose anything at this point that you will find out later in the story. That goes for ALL questions regarding the story. If I know you're going to find stuff out later, then I won't answer them because then I'll ruin the surprise!

Also if you go onto the Hakuoki page where all the fanfics are and look above where you can select which page you want to jump to, you will see a grey FILTERS button. It's there that you can change the rating, and you don't have to be signed in. Keep in mind you have to keep changing it every time you visit the page as it doesn't stay like that (which is really irritating haha).

Thanks for your review

 **Guest** \- Saluuut! Merci de tes gentils mots; je suis vraiment contente que tu aime mon histoire. Et t'inquiete pas a cause de ton anglais, je parle le francais donc si tu prefere on peut parler en francais (mais cest pas ma langue maternelle donc je ferais des erreurs haha). Jespere que tu aimes cet nouvel chapitre :D

 **MayuoftheMoon** \- Naww, thank you for such a nice review :3 I hope you like this chapter and continue to read my story, as it's only going to get more interesting from here (I hope) :D thanks

* * *

 **Day and Night**

I groaned as I rolled over onto my side, frowning slightly as I awoke to the loud drone of conversation.

It was coming from below my window; people shouting, laughing and talking. I could hear the sound of music too, in addition to the squeals of children. I couldn't see what time of day it was because my windows were closed but I had a feeling I'd slept in longer than I'd wanted to.

When I sat up in my futon, I remembered what day it was.

My birthday.

On this day 21 years ago I'd been born to loving parents in an oni village, along with my twin brother Kaoru. It would have been his birthday too if he was still here. All my life I'd thought I was an only child and only a few years after finding out that wasn't the case, my brother had been taken from me. It was perhaps a fresher sadness than the loss of our parents as I couldn't remember them very well, but I'd met Kaoru several times and his death had left me distraught despite how little I'd known him. Even though he'd told me he hated me, all I'd seen when he said that was pain. I would have given anything for us to have become more acquainted and for him to have lived long enough to heal from his bitterness.

Shaking my head vigorously to dismiss such depressing thoughts, I raised myself out of bed. I was planning on enjoying myself today as much as possible since I'd been looking forward to this festival for a while. Besides, I knew I wouldn't be alone anyway. I would have Kazama with me.

As soon as his face entered my mind, my stomach fell.

 _Kazama_.

After yesterday's revelation it was a double-edged sword that I would have another whole day alone with him. On one hand I was grateful for the company but it also meant I would have to face my feelings again. Every second I spent with him from now on was a second that risked me falling deeper and I couldn't allow this to progress any more than it had. I refused to entertain the thought of a romance between us.

When I'd mentally prepared myself, I dragged myself from my futon. I folded it up, tying it so it couldn't unravel, and I brought it over to my cupboard. I shoved the futon at the bottom of the cupboard next to my bags and reached up to pull my kimono off the top shelf.

However, when I raised my eyes to look at it I noticed something peculiar.

It was a _different_ kimono.

I sighed like I had yesterday morning, making a mental note to scold him later for buying a new one when there was nothing wrong with the other. He was wasting both fabric and someone's time, but some part of me was grateful for this new piece of clothing. I would consider it as my unintended birthday present.

I pulled the silky kimono off the shelf and out into the light. It was a deep purple with a black obi, embroidered with large blooming flowers and tiny birds in silver thread. I studied the intricacy of the sewing and the expensive material it was made from, remarking that it definitely rivalled yesterday's kimono and the pink one he'd bought for our first date, particularly because purple was my favourite colour.

When I let it unfold entirely, a pair of shoes fell out onto the floor. They were black just like the ones I'd worn yesterday with a pattern matching the kimono, but when I looked closer I noticed there was something hidden in one of the shoes, shoved right down near the toes. I swung the kimono over my shoulder and bent down to pick the shoe up, plucking the piece of cloth from it. It was a dark purple hair ribbon, made of thick material with tiny flowers decorating the edges, but it was wrapped around something small and hard.

I uncoiled the length of ribbon from whatever it was and pulled out a tiny dome made of silver and engraved with leaves and flowers. Bringing it closer to my face to try and figure out what it was, I examined it thoroughly to see if it could be opened. It was much too small to have anything of much value inside of it. Why had he given me something like this?

I curiously lifted the lid with my fingernail, tilting the interior so I could see inside, and I was faced with a small dish of burgundy lipstick.

I hadn't worn makeup since our date and my cheeks were getting hotter the more I thought about having to put it on. Wearing makeup would not only draw attention to myself but it would encourage Kazama to become even more assertive with his advances as he had a history of intensifying his seduction whenever I was even marginally dolled up.

Closing the lid and placing it on the floor, I started to get dressed. I pulled on the kimono after I'd gotten unchanged and wrapped the obi around my torso. Once I was happy with the bow I slid it around to the back and picked the ribbon off the floor. It was meant to hold hair in a low ponytail as it would be too flimsy to secure a bun, so I brushed my hair and pulled it back. I decided I wouldn't wear the makeup because the kimono alone would attract enough of his attention; more attention than I needed.

When I was ready, I slipped on the shoes and made sure my kimono was in order before I left.

It was loud and busy in the inn and even from the second floor I could make out the music being played in the streets. Locking the door and tucking the key in my obi, I felt my anxiety dissipate to make way for excitement as I considered all the things I would be able to do today. I was praying there would be a dango stall as two months without it had left me virtually incapacitated. I hadn't had dessert in ages.

As I turned the corner, I was too overcome with delight to notice someone was walking my way.

I let out a soft squeal as I bumped into their chest, staggering back a little, and I peered up to see a man maybe Hijikata's age. He was sporting a scowl that suggested he was displeased at being ran into but when he saw who had hit him his irritation soothed rapidly.

I bowed quickly, flustered at my clumsiness. 'I'm sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going.' I stammered, maintaining the bow until I'd finished talking. I was so embarrassed that my cheeks were on fire already. As I looked up, he no longer looked mad; in fact he was beginning to look flustered too as he ran his fingers through his feathery brown hair. 'No, no. That's quite alright. Are you ok? You bumped into me pretty hard.' He chuckled lightly, giving me a small smile which only served to make me blush deeper. 'Uh… I'm fine, thanks.' I replied, bowing once more. I was desperate to get away, not because I feared he was dangerous but because I was feeling awkward at the way he was gazing at me.

I gave him a small smile as I went to step past him, but before I could proceed he started speaking again. 'What's your name?' He asked, reaching out to stop me from walking off. The gesture was only intended to attract my attention but he quickly pulled his hand back when I faced him with surprise. He appeared slightly guilty that he'd startled me and my brain turned to mush as I saw his cheeks were going pink too. 'Chizuru.' I said timidly, fiddling with the sleeves of my kimono. He bowed at me politely, raising before he spoke. 'I'm Akio. Nice to meet you.' He said, giving me another bashful smile.

We kind of stood there for a while, both of us not sure what to say. He wasn't giving off a precarious aura so I wasn't afraid of his intentions but the truth was I'd never been good at speaking to men. When I'd first met the Shinsengumi it had taken me a very, very long time to grow accustomed to their presence and not just because I'd feared they were going to kill me.

Suddenly he let out a breath that sounded like he'd been holding this whole time. 'Uh... I know this might sound a bit sudden but I was wondering if you would be interested in maybe getting some food with me? I mean, if you're busy then that's fine but…uh…' He trailed off, the red of his cheeks beginning to spread to his whole face. It was like watching a male version of me.

I was freaking out as he finished speaking. I knew I couldn't accept because of a certain overprotective oni, but I was too stunned to respond.

But I didn't need to.

When I spotted a tall blond storm out of his room a few doors down, my face paled. Kazama already had his eyes trained on the poor, unsuspecting man in front of me as he started stalking towards us and I knew if I didn't leave him right now then blood was going to be shed.

I rapidly turned back to Akio and bowed respectfully. 'I'm sorry but there are other things I need to take care of today. It was nice to meet you.' I said quickly, going to walk off but he stopped me again by taking my arm gently. I almost had a heart attack as I flicked my eyes past him to see Kazama getting closer, his rage doubling as the man touched me.

Akio lowered his head in the shame of rejection, unaware of the Hell that was about to be unleashed upon him. 'Oh...that's ok. Well if you change your mind then…'

'She won't change her mind.'

Kazama's growl seemed to echo all around us. His eyes were sizzling as Akio turned around to frown at who had spoken, and I immediately noticed him cower as he was confronted with a pair of angry crimson eyes.

Kazama's lips pressed into a thin line as he stopped in front of him, his gaze so incensed I was surprised Akio's skin didn't peel off from the heat. 'I don't take well to people asking my wife on dates, so if you value your worthless existence then get out of my sight.' He snarled, eyes brimming with bloodlust. I bit my lip as I watched him have a mild panic attack where he stood, his eyes widening in irrepressible fear.

After he'd managed to contain his astonishment, he slipped away from us without being told twice. I gasped as he pushed past me in a wild desperation to escape, practically sprinting down the corridor with his face a mottled shade of white and red as if he didn't know whether to be terrified or embarrassed. I watched him disappear around the corner, the sound of his frantic footsteps eventually fading to silence.

As soon as he was gone, I turned to face Kazama guiltily. He was giving me an exasperated glare and clutching the hilt of his katana as if he wanted to snap it off. He only ever got close to this angry when he was interacting with Hijikata.

When I chose to remain silent, he narrowed his eyes. 'I hope you weren't going to accept his offer, Chizuru.' He muttered, releasing the hilt of his katana to let the blood flow back to his white knuckles. I blushed, shaking my head animatedly to abate his anger. 'No.' I murmured, lowering my eyes and beginning to fidget with my nails. I highly doubted he actually thought I would have said yes but I could tell in the way his eyes were twitching that there were few things on this planet that irked him more than other men showing interest in me.

After a short but heavy pause, he seemed to relax a little. 'This is what I get for having such a beautiful wife. Honestly, you attract nothing but trouble. Even letting you outside is a gamble.' He sighed. His features softened as he regained composure but his expression remained uninspired, and I went bright red at his comment. Some part of me had always liked it when he called me beautiful.

When I said nothing, he continued. 'I presume you're ready, given how you were on your way to my room. But I must admit there is something wrong with what I'm seeing.' He said, the sudden sharpness of his tone causing me to stare up at him in shock. I started to get self-conscious as I noticed he was scowling at me. 'What?' I peeped, demurely averting my eyes again as I grew fearful of the answer.

As I went to turn my body away from him self-consciously, he moved closer. I gasped as he grasped my chin and tilted my face up to meet his. 'Did you not receive the silver dome I wrapped in your hair ribbon? The lack of red on your lips suggests that is so.' He accused, refusing to release me even when I lifted my hands to try and pluck his fingers off my chin. I couldn't look at him when he was this close to my face. My legs were already starting to tremble from his proximity, cruelly reminding me of my newly discovered feelings for him.

The thought only made it harder for me to articulate myself. 'I received it but… I don't need to wear makeup.' I mumbled, adopting a frown when he tilted my face up higher. His gaze encapsulated me, causing my mouth to dry out as I saw the shades of red in his eyes swirling like a deep, waveless ocean. Even though his face was so close I couldn't see a single thing that would taint his perfection, not even a stray eyelash. He was so painfully flawless.

Before I had time to become overly traumatised by the gravity of his effect on me, he let me go to pull my hair over one shoulder. 'While you do possess a natural beauty I've seldom seen, I do miss the sight of you with painted lips. The memories of you dressed as a geisha continue to follow me to my dreams.' He purred, permitting my hair to fall from his slender fingers. He then stepped back to watch proudly as I reddened from his comment, his eyes gleaming brightly in the gloominess of the hall.

I gave him a disapproving glare before I turned my burning face away from him. I hoped there would come a time when he could say things like that and I wouldn't get so flustered. I knew the reason that such comments left his mouth was because he loved the reaction I gave him, and the sooner I learned how to control myself the better. At least if I stopped going so red; that would be a good start.

When I said nothing he chuckled. 'Now that that's settled, go back to your room and put it on. I went through all the trouble of sourcing it for you so the least you can do is wear it.' He ordered lightly, tilting his head towards the direction of my room. I lowered my eyes from his, biting my lip as I realised I'd come to a dilemma. I really didn't want to wear the lipstick but now that he'd brought up how he'd bought it for me I felt guilty not putting it on. It wasn't as if I disliked the colour, only that he would be the one to see me wear it.

But he was right. Not only had he bought me this kimono and the one from yesterday, but shoes and a hair ribbon too. Unfortunately this _was_ the least I could do for him.

Sighing in defeat, I hung my shoulders and turned to make my way back down the hall. He followed behind me casually, exuding triumph at his success, and remained silent as we trekked the short distance to my room. I could tell he was pleased with himself and it only made it more nerve-wracking. The last thing I wanted was to encourage him by putting makeup on.

I plucked the key out from my obi, opening the door and stepping inside without giving him a second glance. I was relieved to be out of the scope of his vision even though it would be only for a few seconds, and I combed the floor with my eyes for the silver dome. It was on the floor where I'd left it, sitting at the base of the cupboard.

I picked it up and flicked it open, determined to get this over and done with as soon as possible. Dipping my finger in the dark red paste, I gathered some on the end and brought it up to my lips. Normally every time I wore makeup it had been done by someone else as my cosmetic skills were appalling, but thankfully I wasn't so incapable as to mess up the application of something so simple.

My cheeks were already as red as the lipstick as I inspected myself in the tiny mirror behind the top lid. The colour complemented my dark features and once again I was forced to admit Kazama knew what would suit me better than I did. It made me wonder if he really had chosen all these clothes and accessories himself or if he'd gotten help, although I couldn't imagine him asking Amagiri or Shiranui for advice.

I flicked the lid shut and placed the container on the table next to my door as I left, deliberately facing away from Kazama as he stood patiently beside the entrance. I placed the key back into my obi after I'd locked the door, keeping my head down as his glare doubled its intensity as he tried to peek past the curtain of my hair.

When everything was locked, I went to turn to start walking down the hall but a hand stopped me.

Kazama tugged me around to face him and grabbed my chin out of nowhere. I was mortified beyond belief as I sensed him appraising me and I tried to push him away. 'Kazama-san…' I mumbled, grabbing his wrist and trying to tug his hand off my chin. He reacted in no way to my defiance apart from a soft sigh. 'As I expected, this colour suits you well. Maybe too well. I can't guarantee I won't try again what I did at Shimabara as your lips look no less sweeter than they did then.' He remarked, releasing my chin to smirk.

Panic filled every vein in my body as he gave me his warning. Who knew how I would react to his attempt to kiss me in my current mental state. My pride demanded that I would reject him but the very fact that I had feelings for him proved I was seriously incapable of rational thought at the moment. I couldn't trust myself to be able to resist anymore.

I blushed and took a step out of his reach, composing myself. 'I'm ready so let's go.' I muttered, unable to look him in the eye. He chuckled at my order, putting his hand on the hilt of his katana in the casual way I'd grown to find charming. 'Very well, dear wife. Since you're giving the commands now, you can lead the way.' He said, gesturing towards the end of the corridor.

Without hesitation I spun around and began to stalk down the hall.

He followed me silently but I could feel his eyes trained on me as I walked; raking up and down my form, drilling burning holes in any place they chose to rest on. I should have been accustomed to his incessant evaluation by now but I wasn't. I'd been stared at many times by men and known they were thinking of less than chivalrous things, but it could never compare with how Kazama looked at me. There was something so fierce in the heat of his eyes, something that reminded me of a wild animal. He appeared to be on the brink of snapping sometimes and it was perplexing that someone as docile as me could be the object of such raw desire. Thinking about it left me lightheaded.

We descended the stairs and made our way to the exit of the inn, pushing past people who were crowded in the foyer talking loudly and laughing. It was a good atmosphere despite how busy it was, but I could sense Kazama's disinterest growing the closer we got to leaving the inn.

Finally we got past the door and onto the street and I was immediately captured by the reds and yellows of the decorations. There were lanterns strewn along the shop fronts and edging the dirt street, ready to be lit once night fell. There were people everywhere dressed in bright colours holding assortments of food and gifts. The weather complemented the event perfectly too; it was just as sunny as it had been yesterday and there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

'Let's go.'

I spun around to look at Kazama, who appeared as if he'd been amongst the festival for a few hours instead of a few minutes. He was fixing me with a bored expression but at least he had lost the lust in his eyes. I turned back away from him as I blushed, noticing once more the beautiful shine of his eyes in the sunlight. 'Ok.' I said.

As soon as I'd spoken, he moved in front of me to take the lead. I didn't know where we were going but he seemed pretty casual, so I pondered whether or not we had a destination. There seemed to be quite a bit to do from what I could see so I supposed there was no rush, and we _did_ have the whole afternoon. In fact it would probably run into the night too as I knew the lanterns would be lit once it got dark. It reminded me of New Years' but unfortunately there were no mountains around for Kazama and I to observe the sight from above.

We walked in silence for a while, doing our best to avoid bumping into the people surrounding us. Every time Kazama brushed past a human, which was quite often, I saw his whole body tense from head to toe and I had to resist the urge to sigh. Was it even possible for me to marry a man who hated people so much? I was the complete opposite of him in that regard, but obviously that hadn't mattered when my heart decided it would be a good idea to fall for him.

We passed food stall after food stall, reminding me just how famished I was. I was hoping we would eat soon because it was getting to lunch time and I was pretty hungry already. The scent of food was all around me, both sweet and savoury, and I noticed someone making flavoured rice balls a bit ahead.

When I turned my attention from the food, I became aware of Kazama's form disappearing into the crowd before me. I frowned at how far behind I'd gotten and sighed as I dodged past a few people hurriedly, trying not to knock them over. I pondered if he'd noticed yet, keeping my eyes trained on the soft golden strands of his hair. It wasn't hard to spot him amongst the crowd as he was taller than the majority of men and had blonde hair.

Just as I reached him, he turned around to narrow his eyes at me. Humans always put him into a bad mood. 'If you're going to get lost after less than a minute then maybe you should take my hand.' He suggested without missing a beat. It instantly reminded me of how we'd held hands yesterday but I didn't want to encourage my feelings any more than I had, even if it meant I might get to practice my telepathy again.

I shook my head and his face softened as he saw my desperation. 'What a pity. After how readily you held my hand yesterday, I thought you would do it again today without hesitation. There's no need to be shy, kitten.' He goaded, offering his hand for me to take. I cringed at what he'd called me, putting my hands behind me as if to emphasise my denial. 'I'm fine.' I asserted. He shrugged, resting his hand on his katana.

Just as he opened his mouth to respond, I felt someone bash into me from behind.

I let out a small squeal, attracting the attention of some people around us, and face-planted into his chest. It wasn't as hard as I'd hit the man I'd met in the hall just before but it was forceful enough to wind me.

Kazama's arm encircled my shoulders to steady me as I wavered, but when I looked up to scowl at him he was glowering at the woman who bumped into me. She'd turned around to apologise but upon seeing Kazama's lethal gaze she'd shut her mouth and was already shuffling as far away as she could. I immediately tried to pull away, too panicked from our closeness to scold him for giving a woman such a glare.

As soon as he'd finished sending her daggers he turned down to watch me squirming against his body. 'You really are clumsy.' He noted, ignoring me when I clenched my fists. It hadn't been my fault, which he knew. He was just seizing yet another opportunity to rile me.

I pressed my hands to his chest, going redder as a few people on the edge of the street turned to watch us bicker. 'Ok, that's enough. You can let me go now.' I ordered, but he only held me tighter. 'I will if you hold my hand.' He said, smirking down at me in the way only he could. I was captured by it for a while, realising that I'd grown to find it strangely beguiling, before I regained my bearings. 'I'm not going to hold your hand.' I muttered, continuing to struggle. He chuckled, bringing up his other hand to slide over my hair and causing my eyes to widen in alarm. 'Suit yourself. I suppose we have a while left to live, so I can stay here for as long as needed.' He said, eyes twinkling with amusement.

When I heard an old couple laughing quietly at us from a few metres away, I couldn't take the humiliation anymore.

I stopped struggling, my frustration reaching its peak. 'Fine. I'll do it. But let's go get me something to eat because I'm starving.' I muttered, lowering my eyes as the order came out without permission. It never grew any less unusual giving him commands and it would have been even more embarrassing if I'd seen his expression.

He let me go, taking my hand into his and raising an eyebrow at me. 'Is this what our marriage is going to be like?' He asked, making me flush as dark as my lipstick. I pouted and didn't answer him, not even when he squeezed my hand to prompt me. I would have liked to think I wouldn't be a demanding wife but Kazama's irritating nature made it very hard not order him around. If I didn't then we would have spent all afternoon quarrelling in the street being laughed at by old couples.

When I said nothing he chuckled again. 'Somehow I don't dislike the thought, though. As the only person who can order me around and get away with it, you certainly do make the most of it.' He accused lightly, beginning to walk again. I followed along beside him, my right hand in his left one, finding some truth in his words. I'd never seen anyone else tell him what to do and still have their head on their shoulders afterwards, so maybe he'd given me more power than I was aware of.

The blood didn't drain from my cheeks as we made our way down the street, hand in hand. 'So, are you going to tell me what you want at least, or do I have to guess and risk getting snapped at again?' He asked. I bit my lip, guilty even though I knew he deserved some back chat sometimes; it was revenge for all the times he'd spoken to me less than pleasantly.

'Uh…' I trailed off, looking around and trying to discern what I felt like. He waited patiently for me to think about it, but when I passed another rice ball stand I knew it was fate.

I gestured to the stand selling onigiri. 'Uh… I guess I wouldn't mind some of those.' I said, already eyeballing which ones I would choose. They'd been dyed different colours depending on their flavour and they all appeared delicious.

My timidity over holding Kazama's hand faded quickly as he led me over to the stand.

The owner smiled at us as we approached, putting down a rice ball he'd been in the middle of forming. 'Hello, how can I help you?' He asked. Kazama glared at the man before he looked down at me, slanting his head towards the stand to communicate for me to choose something. I turned back to the man and smiled. 'Hello, uh… yes. Can I please get two salmon onigiri and one plain, thank you.' I requested. The man was only too eager to have something to do to distract him from Kazama's heated eyes and he got straight to packaging them, giving me enough time to glare up at Kazama and frown at him for deliberately making the man so nervous.

Kazama completely ignored me, of course, pulling out enough money to cover the cost of the rice balls and placing it on the table as the man handed me the food. 'Thank you.' I chirped, holding them close to my chest like treasure as I bowed to him. He returned my smile kindly. 'Enjoy the festival.' He said, bowing in return as we started to move away from his stall.

Once we had moved back onto the street, I had only just began to unpeel the wrapping from my onigiri when Kazama stopped me. 'We will sit down to eat.' He bade. I nodded, relieved that he'd suggested it as eating while standing was never comfortable.

I followed behind him as he took us over towards a bench.

I had to admit that I was glad for his presence today. Without him I knew my birthday would have been a lonely one and even though he'd already managed to be a complete nuisance, I couldn't deny his company was better than none. This time a few years ago I would never have envisaged this would happen. Even on our first date, I would have never believed I would not only be capable of finding him tolerable, but _likeable_.

My heart began to beat faster as I reflected on yesterday and what I'd finally come to terms with. Now that I could put a name to what I'd been feeling all this time, I could see just how long I'd felt this way about him. Even in the first month I'd shown signs of affection so I must have known deep down he wasn't a bad person, even at that stage. Either that or I was just naturally attracted to men of power, as Hijikata held a high rank in the Shinsengumi. They really were quite similar so maybe it made sense that I was falling for Kazama too.

But still…. I was such an _idiot_.

When we sat down on the free bench underneath a tree, I tried to face away from him as I ate but as usual he took a strange fascination with watching me.

I frowned at him as I unwrapped my onigiri. 'Do you really have to watch me?' I mumbled, angling my body so he wouldn't be able to see my face. He smirked, his lips assuming his typical crooked smile. 'I don't have to, but I want to.' He said impertinently. I grit my teeth and unravelled the rest of my salmon rice ball. 'Honestly.' I sighed, not wanting to engage in another one of his witty arguments.

He chuckled at my response, deciding my exasperation was enough of a reply to warrant leaving me alone.

I looked down at the salmon onigiri before I took a bite. I was glad I got three instead of trying to be modest by asking for only 1 or 2, but some part of me knew Kazama would have made me buy a third anyway. He'd always had this thing with making sure I had enough food, even if he acted like it was an inconvenience buying it for me like he had when we'd first started travelling. I assumed that's just because he was trying to be as much of a pain as possible, as was his nature, but now his irritation came from when I didn't eat enough; an example being when he'd given me some of his dumplings. It still made me blush to this day that he'd do something so selfless for me. I wondered what else he would surprise me with by the end of the journey.

As I finished all but the last rice ball, I silently observed the decorations. There were lanterns threaded all throughout the tree behind us with patterns of the sun. It reminded me of Kazama, actually, and his clan power. It was such a relief I'd finally figured it out after so long but I was disheartened I would have to guess his middle power now. Although there were only 8 possibilities, he'd warned me that I'd need to provide evidence as to why I chose a particular clan.

So which one could it be, then?

I doubted it was my mother's clan, the Midori clan, as that would make us related. Therefore that ruled out the Yukimura clan too. I ran the others through my head systematically, weighing up their pros and cons. I was doubtful it was Sen's clan as she'd offered to birth his child, something she wouldn't have done if they were related, and it probably wasn't the Shiranui clan because Shiranui had told me he hadn't known Kazama before the war.

That left the Hoshi, Nagumo, Amagiri and Yume clans. Amagiri had said he'd known Kazama since he was a child which would make sense if they were related; that could also explain their closeness and the reason for why Kazama treated Amagiri better than anyone else I'd seen. As for the Yume clan, we could have taken the detour to visit Yamamura because he had relatives there. He'd always had this strange ability to plan for everything and know exactly what was going to happen, so it was somewhat likely. The Hoshi and Nagumo clans were harder theories to test out. If he had the Nagumo clan power then maybe that's why it was apparently autumn in his village all year round, and if he really did draw energy from sunlight then it would certainly be beneficial to control the weather. But there was also the Hoshi clan, the clan of intelligence and navigation. Not one single time on this journey had I seen any of them pull out a map and I already knew Kazama was an expert on battle strategy. He was certainly one of the smartest people I'd come across despite his appalling lack of social skills, but even I knew social intelligence and academic intelligence were two completely different things.

I sighed aloud as I came across a mind block, unaware that Kazama was watching me.

When I finally turned to him, the look on his face took me by surprise. 'What?' I said, startled from my thought. He narrowed his eyes, beginning to examine my face like he often did when trying to figure out my emotions. 'For someone so absentminded, you seemed to be thinking quite deeply.' He remarked, smirking as I gave him a severe glare for implying I was an airhead. I sighed. 'It's nothing.' I assured him, but he wasn't buying it and he narrowed his eyes. 'It's not what you refused to talk about yesterday, is it?'

Panic struck me as he brought it up again and the terror on my face only made him even more curious.

I turned away from his face as my cheeks started to heat up. 'No it's not that. I was just… wondering about your middle power.' I said quietly, hoping that the truth would distract him from trying once more to coax my secret from me. He stared at me for a few more seconds, remaining slightly suspicious, but he eventually relaxed as he noticed I wasn't lying to him. 'Ah, I see. I'm pleased to know I'm occupying your thoughts. So, do you have any ideas?' He asked.

I resisted the urge to breathe out a sigh of relief as he dropped the previous issue. 'Well, I do, but because you're so secretive it could be quite a few of them.' I muttered, almost accusatory. He chuckled as if he was proud about how mysterious he was and it only made me even more infuriated. If he didn't turn everything into a game then it was possible I would have been able to connect with him a lot sooner than I had. His aura of secrecy and concealment had been a barrier to our acquaintance in the past and in some ways it still was. He didn't tell me _anything_ without asking for something in return and at the moment I was still more likely to get information about him from Amagiri.

Kazama shrugged after a few minutes, flicking a leaf off the bench that had fallen between us. 'Because I am generous, I suppose I can narrow the possibilities.'

I flinched at his words, finding it ironic how I'd just finished thinking about how unhelpful he was. I turned to face him a little bit more. 'So you will give me a clue?' I asked, eyes wide. His gaze shifted from my eyes to my lips for a split second, making me feel self-conscious, before he answered. 'Well, not quite. If you give me a clan that you think _isn't_ my middle power and you're right, I'll let you know.' He promised. I pressed my finger to my chin, pouting as I thought. 'And what if the one I guess is actually the right one?' I asked, trying to discern if it was worth taking the risk.

He only shrugged. 'I guess you'll find out.'

I narrowed my eyes but began to think about what I would say. I could almost guarantee his middle power wasn't that of the Shinobi or Shiranui clans based on what I already knew, but when it came time for me to guess I started to doubt myself. Maybe the family Kazama's mother came from wasn't actually related to the royal bloodline? And maybe Shiranui hadn't known about Kazama because he was travelling, or maybe because he was older than him? I doubted it, but it was a possibility.

I sighed. I knew what choice I was going to pick and I hoped I had chosen the right one.

'Well… I presume it's not the Shinobi clan?' I said cautiously.

Kazama's lip curled up a little, portraying that the very thought disgusted him. 'Hmph. Indeed, you are correct. My mother did not come from the Shinobi clan and that I am eternally grateful for. Being related to that wench would be the ultimate insult to my pride and it goes without saying I would have never entertained the thought of fathering a child with a relative.' He muttered. Despite his harsh words towards my best friend, I smiled at my correct guess.

After he'd fully recovered from his distaste, I felt game enough to ask a more personal question. 'So… are your parents looking after your clan while you're gone?' I asked, not brave enough to meet his gaze in case he was scowling at me for asking such a question. I'd never heard him talk about his family and I had to admit I was curious about them.

However, when he didn't answer me, I snuck in a quick peek at his face. He was wearing a blank expression, the expression I'd learned meant he was trying to mask an emotion. I pondered if I'd crossed a line and started to feel bad, lowering my eyes from his face again.

Just when I'd accepted he wasn't going to respond, he did. 'It is my uncle and aunt that are fulfilling my duties in my absence, as my parents are no longer alive.' He said, his voice devoid of all emotion.

A wave of crushing guilt washed over me as he gave his answer.

I felt horrible I'd brought it up, especially knowing how it felt to lose my own parents. I should have known there might have been another reason than just secrecy behind why he'd never spoken about his parents before. I was curious as to how they'd passed but there was no way I was going to ask him that as it was entirely inappropriate, but I did wonder how two pureblood oni could possibly die. Had they been really old? Or did they die from exhaustion of their powers like Hanami's parents?

I swallowed some more onigiri with difficulty, my throat swelling up as the reality of his words hit me. 'I'm sorry.' I murmured, too ashamed to look at him. I was afraid of what kind of expression I'd see on his face. The possibility of turning to him and seeing sadness or pain at being made to talk about his parents filled me with contrition.

After a few minutes, he leaned back and sighed. 'The past is the past, Chizuru. There is nothing either of us can do about what has happened to our own. And besides…'

He trailed off, picking my hand up off the bench. My eyes widened as he raised it to his lips, his eyes flashing mischievously as he kissed my fingers softly. 'One day you will bring me the gift of a new family.' He purred.

After he'd pulled his lips off my skin, he waited patiently for me to react to his suggestion. But I gave him nothing. Not a blush, nor a frown. For the first time ever, I couldn't give him the reaction he wanted.

Because in that moment I realised I'd been right about what I'd seen at Asuka's house. Kazama _was_ lonely, and maybe this was why. Maybe he wanted children in order to fill a space in his heart where something important had been taken from him. Just like me.

When Kazama noticed the lack of red on my cheeks, he beheld me with disappointment. 'What?' He asked, frowning at me sternly. I turned away from him and stared down into my lap, my hand still resting in his. 'Nothing.' I said quietly, remorse festering inside me. I was trying to process what I'd just become aware of, that maybe he was hiding his wounds just as I was hiding mine. The thought only served to triple my shame at having asked in the first place.

Kazama clicked his tongue at my depressed expression. 'Come now. I don't like that look on your face. Hurry up and finish your onigiri.' He sighed.

I nodded weakly and consumed the final few pieces of the last rice ball. I didn't want to be gloomy for the rest of the day even though what he'd told me made me feel sad, and I knew he'd only get frustrated if I moped around until nightfall. I tried to put it at the back of my mind but it would always be sitting there from this day on, reminding me of just how much more there was to the man beside me.

Once I'd finished, he raised himself and pulled me off the seat with him. 'Let's go.' He said, without specifying where. I followed him placidly as we made our way back over to the main crowd and merged into the street. Yet again we had to push past people in order to make any progress and I put all my concentration towards making sure I didn't knock over any old ladies or kick any children as I walked.

There were so many shops selling trinkets and gifts of all different types, including seamstresses selling fabrics. It occurred to me that I still had the money Sen have given me at the start of the journey. I hadn't spent a single coin thanks to Kazama's disgust at the thought of me buying things with my own money, but maybe today he would make an exception. I was sure Sen wouldn't mind me using the coins she'd given me to buy myself a small birthday present. I was sure to keep an eye out for something that I could spoil myself with today.

As I automatically veered closer to the stalls to see what they were selling, Kazama took my hand into his. 'No wandering off.' He warned, seemingly exhausted already at having to be my guide. Shivers travelled up my arm from his touch and I plucked my hand from his promptly. 'I'm just looking.' I countered, still finding it hard to meet his eyes. He responded by obnoxiously taking my hand again. 'Anything you purchase here will only serve as deadweight on our journey.' He contended, doing his best to crush my dreams.

I ignored him, determined not to let him persuade me out of buying anything. I deserved something nice for my birthday and if it was something small then it wouldn't hinder our progress at all. It probably wasn't ideal to purchase jewellery, but maybe I could get a book or something. Surely he wouldn't deny me that.

I sighed, trying to pry his fingers off my hand. 'I'm only seeing what's available. I won't buy anything big.' I promised, frustrated as I saw his determination wasn't faltering. He gave me a disapproving look and tugged me slightly closer to him. 'If you want something then I'll pay for it. But only if I find it necessary.'

I fought the urge to press my hand to my forehead. He was obviously missing the point. Not everything needed to have a functional purpose as sometimes it was enough that it was pretty or enjoyable, like a hairpin or game. That's why I wanted to buy it myself as then I could choose whatever I wanted instead of being limited to what he found essential.

Before I could challenge him though, he started walking again. Consequently I was forced to follow as he had hold of my hand and I rolled my eyes when I was sure he wasn't looking. He was so infuriating sometimes.

For many minutes we didn't speak, wandering down the street at a casual pace. I made no further attempts at pulling my hand away as I already knew he wouldn't let me. He was holding it tightly like he would never let go and my heart hadn't slowed since he'd first taken it. It didn't help too that I could see the scouring eyes of other women observing us together. Usually in my western attire I was paid no mind by the females; they only had eyes for him. But dressed like this and holding his hand I could have easily been his wife and I could tell in the glares I was getting that it was what they assumed.

I averted my eyes shyly, wishing he was slightly more modest with his behaviour in public.

Suddenly I heard loud laughing coming from ahead. I instantly lifted my eyes to see what all the fuss was about and I noticed the stalls were changing from selling food and gifts to housing games and activities. This was the same set-up that Kyoto had on New Years'.

I craned my neck to see what kind of games there were, forgetting for a second that Kazama and I remained linked. I could see puzzles, darts and ball games that people were crowded around as either players or spectators. Unfortunately this area was also more filled with people than the last, although it had a much brighter atmosphere. Everyone looked like they were having fun.

Seeing their smiling faces reminded me of when the Shinsengumi men and I would go into Kyoto city for New Years'. With my date with Kazama as the sole exception, in all previous years we'd gone together to make the most of the celebrations. We would often play the games that were available, sometimes all of them if Heisuke and Shinpachi were feeling extra competitive, and would return late that night where the others would begin to drink. It was times like this where I really did miss them. I didn't want to be miserable today but being amongst so many happy people reminded me of when I'd been happy too.

Just as I thought that, Kazama sighed heavily as if his boredom had inexplicably increased tenfold. 'Which one?'

I turned to look up at him, frowning in confusion at his random question. 'Which what?' I clarified, flinching as he peered down at me. His eyes captured mine and his lips twitched into a graceful smirk. 'Which game, kitten. Seeing as though we have all afternoon, we might as well attempt to amuse ourselves in this squalor of a village.' He sighed, gesturing around him as if he was referring to something disgusting instead of a quaint, lively town.

I was too shocked to react to his derogatory comment. 'You want to play a game?' I confirmed, thinking maybe I'd misheard him. He placed his spare hand on the hilt of his katana, sighing. 'What I want in this situation is irrelevant. I'm asking you what _you_ want.' He said.

I broke our eye contact to look around. There were so many games to choose from but my mind was too boggled to make a decision anyway. I couldn't believe he was actually subjecting himself to something he wouldn't find enjoyable. Well… at least he tried to _feign_ he didn't find things like this enjoyable. I was certain his competitive personality and appreciation of a challenge drew him towards games of any nature, and he sure liked creating his own. His favourite one was to see how red he could make me.

I laid eyes upon one of the closest activities, one which involved throwing darts at a target to win a prize. It looked pretty amusing but I had no sense of aim so it probably wasn't a good idea unless I wanted Kazama to tease me unrelentingly for the rest of the week. The game next to it required the player to guess what cup a trinket was under and if you were correct then you won something. That seemed too simple, so I shifted my eyes to the next.

We started to walk again as I searched for something both of us might find fun, until I saw a game a few stalls down that caught my eye. There was a giant bucket filled with paper sitting on the counter and a middle-aged couple talking as they waited for someone to approach.

I pointed to the stall with the bucket. 'What's that one?' I asked, noticing Kazama's attention shift from my face to where I was trying to redirect his focus. He was silent for a few seconds, long enough for us to move a bit closer to it, before he sighed. 'I presume it's a lucky dip. Pull out a piece of paper from that bowl and it gives you an activity to complete. If you do it correctly or within the time limit then you win a prize.' He said.

I was pretty impressed with his powers of deduction and pressed my finger to my chin as I thought about it. It sounded rather interesting and I liked that it was a lucky dip instead of a set activity. Although that could work against me, I hoped I wasn't asked to do something embarrassing or too difficult.

I shrugged, turning away from the activity. 'Well. I suppose we could do that one… if you want.' I murmured shyly, shrugging again to emphasise how I didn't mind which activity we did. He stared blankly at my indecisiveness before he sighed. 'If that's the one you want to do, then we shall do it.'

Without warning he began pulling me over to the stall, and I followed him without complaint.

There was both a man and a woman behind the counter, probably in their mid-30s. They seemed to be having a humour filled conversation, the woman leaning against the wall of her stall as she laughed with the man I presumed to be her husband.

They paused their energetic discussion to turn to us, greeting Kazama and I with broad smiles as we approached. 'Why, hello there.' Called the man, doing a marvellous job at pretending he couldn't see Kazama's sour visage. I smiled back, doing my best to make up for the blonde oni's lack of enthusiasm. 'Hello.' I replied, bowing at them both. They returned the gesture and it was the woman that spoke next. 'So are you interested in playing?' She asked. Knowing Kazama wasn't going to speak, I did for him. 'Yes please.'

She clasped her hands as if I'd just announced she'd won something herself. 'Perfect! It's really quite simple how the game works. Pick a challenge from this dish and if you complete it successfully or on time, then you win something. The prize will depend on what the activity was.' She assured me. Almost on cue, the man picked up the large bowl and gave the folded paper inside a toss. 'Reach into this when you're ready and pick a slip of paper.' He urged politely.

When I looked at Kazama, he jerked his head towards the bowl.

I took in a deep breath, feeling the suspense building as I moved away from his side to reach into the dish. There were probably at least a hundred pieces of paper, folded so tightly I couldn't see any writing through them. I was praying I wouldn't choose anything that would embarrass me, especially because I'd noticed a few people in the crowd had stopped to watch curiously what I selected.

I grasped a piece of paper in my fingers and pulled it out, opening my eyes and looking at the man and woman. 'Do I open it now?' I asked. My question earned two very eager nods from the couple, who seemed more excited than they should have been at the mystery of what I had chosen.

I unfolded the paper and made sure I hid it from Kazama's view so he couldn't read it before I did.

 **TASK 87: AN EATING COMPETITION WITH A TWIST**

I frowned in confusion. What on earth did that mean?

When the lady asked me to hand it over to her, her face lit up as she saw what I'd selected. 'This is one of my favourites.' She laughed, showing her husband who had a similar reaction. Kazama was regarding me suspiciously as he hadn't had time to read the note before I'd passed it over, but he waited patiently for someone to explain instead of asking me.

The man bent down to fish something out of a box at his feet as the woman clarified the activity. 'Normally this challenge would be done with one of us, but since you have your husband here it's best if he gets to be the lucky recipient.' She said. She continued before I had time to transform into a beetroot from her assumption of our marriage. 'Your task is to feed a small dessert to your partner without getting any on their face, but as the note suggests there is a twist.' She said, reaching down to take a strip of dark green cloth from her husband who was still immersed in the boxes below.

The panic felt like a slap across the face as I sensed Kazama smirk behind me.

I had to feed him?! _Again_?

The woman handed me the strip of cloth which I took despite my humiliation. 'And the twist… you have to be _blindfolded_!' She laughed, noticing the blazing colour of my cheeks.

I was filled with instant regret of having chosen to play this game. First the fortune telling incident, and now this? At this stage I didn't know which was worse, but what I _did_ know was that I was never playing another game with him again.

My shoulders slumped as Kazama chuckled lightly behind me. 'Won't this be nostalgic.' He remarked, knowing exactly what I was thinking about. I cringed just as the man raised himself off the floor, having found what he was searching for. He held up a small cupcake in his hands and then placed it on the counter.

The regret unrelentingly swelled within me as the woman gestured for me to blindfold myself.

When I snuck a look at Kazama, there was arrogance written all over his face. His arms were folded lightly as he waited for me to do as she'd asked and I already knew I would never be able to escape his smugness afterwards either. Over the past few days the amount of unfortunate things that had happened to me was absurd.

I sighed as I put the blindfold on, placing the cloth over my eyes and tying it up at the back as tight as I could.

When I was done, all I could hear was the soft chuckling of the man and woman as I wavered a little without my sight. 'Ok, here is the cupcake. Hold out your hand. After you take each piece you can place it back on the counter if you need to.' The woman instructed. I did as I was told, holding my hand out in the direction of her voice and I felt something soft and spongy being placed into my palm.

I turned to where I presumed Kazama was and my guess was confirmed by his chuckle. He took my spare hand in his and brought me closer to him, his heat warming up the front of my body. 'I'm looking forward to this.' He said mirthfully, making sure his voice didn't conceal a singular scrap of pleasure at what was about to occur. I pressed my lips together, letting out a frustrated sigh. 'I hope you get an embarrassing task too.' I mumbled, waiting to be told I could start. Kazama only chuckled again, and I felt the softness of his fingertips brush across my face. 'I'm counting on it.'

When the woman spoke, he pulled his hand away from me. 'Ok, you may start now.'

I was sure the redness of my cheeks was spreading to the rest of my body as I used my spare hand to tear off a chunk of cupcake. I let out a deep, defeated sigh as I placed the rest of it back onto what I believed to be the counter and worked on mustering up the courage to start.

'Open your mouth.' I muttered unenthusiastically in Kazama's direction as I lifted the cupcake. I could feel him smirking even without our telepathic link as I went to shove it in the direction of where I thought his mouth was, but just as I did so the woman stopped me. 'Remember you can't get any on his face. Use your free hand to guide you.' She warned light-heartedly, obviously because where I'd been about to put it had been nowhere near his lips.

I cringed inwardly. Did she mean she wanted me to _feel_ for his mouth?

I sighed again, truly convinced now that this was more embarrassing than the oni woman telling us we were destined to be lovers. In some ways I was glad I was blindfolded because it meant I couldn't see Kazama's no doubt arrogant expression or the faces of those who had stopped to watch the scene play out.

Stepping a little closer in his direction, I hesitantly reached out towards the direction of his face. I knew I was getting closer because I could feel his heat, and I followed the sensation blindly as I wished for the millionth time that I hadn't have chosen this game.

Just before I could search any longer, his hand wrapped around my wrist. 'Here.' He purred, guiding my hand to him and chuckling as my blush worsened. He pressed my palm to his cheek and a jolt of electricity shot down my arm and into my body as I felt the familiar warmth of his skin. There was no stubble or dryness to his face, just an unearthly suppleness that left me wondering if this was how the rest of him felt.

I swallowed as I used my fingers to work out where I was. 'Thanks.' I mumbled somewhat sarcastically, sliding my fingers over his cheek and following his jawline to his chin. I could sense him smiling as my thumb attempted to find his lips without having to touch them, and I traced their edges before deciding I was close enough to discern where his mouth was.

I sighed, bringing the piece of cake up. 'Eat it.' I said brusquely, blushing even redder as I heard a few chuckles from around me. My heartbeat was so loud I could hear it pounding in my ears and I was more determined than ever just to get this over with, especially now that I knew people were actually watching.

After I felt him open his mouth obediently, I fed him the piece of cupcake.

His lips enclosed deliberately over my fingers, almost causing me to lose my mind. If we had have been alone I would have begun to scold him for it but I was just so desperate to get this over with that I didn't say anything. The sensation of my fingertips in his mouth flooded me with a kind of feeling I wasn't used to, a feeling that was anything but innocent.

I pulled my hand away as soon as I could and was handed the cupcake again, pulling off the next piece and beginning the process once more.

This time I fed him quicker, although I still had to feel for his lips again. Each time I did so, their effect on me grew even more potent and caused a fire to pulse in my blood. The knowledge he was making me feel like this was damaging to my pride, to say the least, and I was only getting more flustered as time went on.

When I fed him the last bit of cake, I breathed out an audible sigh of relief.

I pulled the accursed blindfold off my eyes only too readily and squinted at the light I'd been denied of for the past few minutes.

The first person I saw was Kazama, his eyes burning so brightly I feared they would set me on fire. 'Delicious.' He purred infuriatingly, brushing off my enraged expression with a smirk. There had been so many times where his haughtiness had made me want to tear my hair out but this particular occasion was definitely the worst. I would have done anything to go back in time to choose another activity; even the dart one would have been better than this.

After the woman had finished laughing at my expression, she spoke. 'Well done. That was indeed an activity worthy of a good prize, but I will wait until your husband has finished his task before I let you know what you've won.' She said, pushing the bowl towards where Kazama was standing. His amusement dulled substantially as it came to his turn, and I crossed my arms as I waited for him to select something. I hoped that whatever he had to do was even more embarrassing than what I'd done, although I was aware Kazama had no shame. I prayed that he would get to suffer at least some of the humiliation that I'd been put through.

Kazama sighed heavily as he reached into the bucket and pulled out the piece of paper on top.

The atmosphere grew tense as he unravelled it, his face as nonchalant as ever, and I watched with anticipation as I saw his eyes skim over the words. 'What did you get?' I asked as he remained silent. I couldn't pick up anything from his facial expression, neither pleasure nor distaste, and the suspense was killing me.

Just before I went to ask him again he passed the note over to me, and I read it without being told to.

 **TASK 46: DRAWING CHALLENGE**

I didn't even have enough time to ponder what that entailed when the man gestured for me to give it to him.

He read it quickly before looking back up at us. 'As the name suggests, this is a drawing challenge. Pick anything around you to draw and if we can guess what it is then you'll get a prize.' He said. It definitely wasn't as embarrassing as my challenge but it could also be quite detrimental to his pride if he wasn't a natural artist. There weren't very many things Kazama was bad at so there was the possibility he could draw, but he didn't seem like the kind of person to have much time to practice such a skill.

I turned to Kazama to gauge his reaction and he was already looking at me with a smirk on his face.

The woman finished rummaging around in some boxes at the back of the stall and held up a small sketchpad and a single pencil. 'Here you are. You have 2 minutes to complete your drawing. Good luck.' She said, maintaining her cheery demeanour even as Kazama plucked it rudely from her hands without so much as a glance in her direction.

Once the lady gave the cue to start, Kazama put his pencil to the paper. He held it close to him as he started to draw, making sure no one behind him could see what he was creating, and the action only made me even more curious. He hadn't even looked around for something to inspire him before he'd started, like he'd known all along what he'd wanted to choose.

I grew suspicious as I analysed him. If he'd chosen to draw something around us then it really could have been anything. Trees, people, food… the list was endless. I remembered he'd talked about the architecture in Kyoto when he'd taken me home after Heisuke had gone chasing a fight. Maybe he was drawing the buildings edging the street? The houses in this area were made of a dark wood which looked beautiful amongst the flourishing green of the trees inside the village, their shapes perfect for sketching.

When the woman announced there was only 30 seconds left, he didn't seem to panic. The desperation to know what he was drawing had started to gnaw at me with even more fervour and I found myself fiddling compulsively with my kimono as I waited for the unveiling. I was becoming more convinced by the second that he actually knew how to draw because not only was he taking his time, but his strokes seemed controlled and skilled. It shouldn't have surprised me that he would be good at even this but I supposed I wouldn't know _how_ good until I actually saw it.

'Ok! Time's up. Show us what you've done.' The woman trilled.

Kazama instantly pulled the pencil off the paper, placing it casually down on the counter and handing the sketch pad to the couple without letting me see. They both leaned in to inspect it, their eyes widening, and I knew after that kind of reaction it was either really good or really bad.

Kazama remained uninterested in their intrigue, fixing his attention instead on me.

'Well.' The woman said finally. 'I think I can guess what it is. Do you want to see?' She asked me. I shot Kazama another suspicious glare before I nodded. 'Ok.' I said, confused as why they were both looking at me intently.

As she turned the paper around to show me, I felt the blood drain from my face.

It was a portrait of _me_.

I gaped at the drawing, automatically reaching out and snatching it from the woman's hands. It was so detailed, as if he'd spent every waking moment memorising the shape of my features just so he could draw them. The me in the picture had donned a placid expression, my eyes doe-like and timid, but he'd shaded my cheeks to give the impression of a blush. My hairstyle was exactly the one I was wearing now with my hair pulled over one shoulder and the ribbon visible; he'd even drawn the flower pattern along its edges.

I lowered the drawing to stare at him, narrowing my eyes as my cheeks finally began to regain their colour.

I had a thousand questions to ask but before I could speak, the man did. 'Well done, both of you. You've successfully completed your tasks so you will each receive a prize.' He declared. I was distracted for enough time to look back and see the wife pull something up out of some more boxes. 'We always think it's a good idea to give people prizes they might use, so…'

She lifted herself up, holding a small box in one hand and a book in the other. 'Since you have proven your skills as an artist, I would say these are very suitable gifts for you.' She said to Kazama, putting the items on the table. It was a sketch pad with what I presumed to be a box of pencils or stationary.

I snuck another glance at him to analyse his expression but he maintained his disinterest even though the woman had praised him. Fearing an unfavourable response, I quickly scooped up the gifts before he said something unpleasant about accepting things from 'peasants'. 'Thank you.' I said, bowing quickly. She acknowledged my thanks with a smile before bending down to pull something else up from a box. 'And since you didn't get to eat any of the cupcake yourself, I believe you will appreciate this.' She said, handing me a red piece of paper.

I frowned as I took it from her, flipping it over so I could see what it was.

She continued as she noticed my confusion. 'We got three of these today to give away as prizes. It's a coupon for unlimited free food at all the stalls here. It expires at midnight.' She said. I only had a few seconds to bathe in my joy before she held Kazama's drawing out to me as well. 'And I suppose naturally this is yours too.' She said, smiling.

I stared back down at the picture of myself as I'd grabbed it, once again lost in my own wonder. The more I gazed at it, more I couldn't believe he'd done this in 2 minutes without even looking up at me as a reference. He'd drawn this from his own memory.

After I'd snapped myself from my trance, I bowed to both the man and woman. 'Thank you.' I said as Kazama flicked a few coins onto the counter. They smiled politely at us both, bidding us farewell. 'You're welcome. Enjoy the rest of the festival.' They said as we walked away.

Kazama and I didn't speak as we pushed past the spectators and back into the main crowd. I could tell he was content with the silence for the moment, so he didn't even tease me as we started walking down the street. I wanted so badly to examine the drawing again but I didn't want to feed his ego.

I folded it up neatly and placed it in my obi along with the coupon. I had to admit that was a pretty amazing gift too, and I would be sure to make use of it before it expired at midnight. I was hoping to see a dango cart at some stage so I could stock up on as much as I could. I would ensure I ate enough to make up for the last two months.

Eventually the afternoon faded to evening and the sun disappeared below the horizon, and Kazama and I continued in silence.

* * *

It was now completely dark, the sun having set a few hours ago.

The atmosphere had grown even more vivacious as people anticipated the lighting of the lanterns. They wouldn't be released into the air like they had on New Years' but would be held as torches, and the ones hanging from the ropes along the street purely aesthetic.

We were sitting on a bench under a tree in the courtyard, its branches hovering over us like an umbrella. Everyone had gathered in the courtyard where there was music playing, but Kazama and I were sitting in comfortable silence. He'd managed to persuade me into letting him buy me a lantern because he claimed I'd been eyeballing them desperately, which I'd tried to hide but I'd never been good at masking my emotions. The truth was I _had_ really wanted one, so I'd been ecstatic when he'd offered to buy it, but when I'd asked if he was going to get one too he'd replied with a rude comment about how things like that didn't interest him.

I played with the lantern in my hands. It was a really pretty orange with yellow suns on it, a small wick in its centre where a flame could be lit. I kind of wished Kazama had gotten one too so we could have ignited them together but I'd never considered that as a possibility anyway. Just like he had said, sentimental things like that didn't interest him. Besides, if we were to light ours together then it would have had a romantic connotation and I didn't need more people thinking we were married than there already was.

When I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, he was sporting a blank expression. The soft glow of the fire in the courtyard cast flickering shadows over his face and his ruby eyes seemed to absorb the dull light. They were almost glowing as his gaze shifted from the buildings to the people, analysing the environment as if something was about to jump out. He was always on high alert which I supposed was good but it would have been nice for him to loosen up once in a while too.

I cleared my throat after spending another minute trying to gather the courage to speak. 'Thanks Kazama-san.' I murmured shyly, the first to talk in a while. I quickly lowered my head again and fiddled anxiously with my clothing, unsure on whether or not he was going to respond. It wasn't uncommon for him to stay silent when I thanked him but I'd learned that was normal. I knew he understood my gratitude.

After a while, however, he turned his head towards me. 'What for?' He asked, taking me by surprise. My nervous fiddling doubled in rapidity and I shrugged even though I knew exactly why I was grateful. 'You know, for letting us stay for the festival. And buying me a lantern… and stuff.' I said, lifting my eyes to his politely. His own eyes were burning so hot I almost dissolved, but they were a different kind of hot than usual. They left me breathless.

He chuckled before I could turn away. 'There's no need to thank me as I have no doubt I got more out of it than you. That cupcake was just what I needed.' He purred, ensuring he kept his gaze on my face. I went red, frowning at him as his taunting broke through my coyness. 'I'm never playing another game with you again. And why we are on that topic, how on earth did you learn to draw like that?' I interrogated, crossing my arms as I remembered the portrait that was tucked safely in my obi.

Grinning, he raised a hand to tilt my face in his direction. 'I know this might come as a surprise to you given your past assumptions of me, but I do not spend my spare time killing or planning wars. When you have been raised knowing you have many centuries left to live it makes sense to find something you enjoy or your immortality would be spent wallowing in boredom. And it just so happens I have found a new pastime here in the human world, one with long dark hair and an incurable tendency to lie.' He teased, sliding his finger over my chin.

I quickly pushed his hand off me before I melted into a puddle and dripped off the bench. 'Kazama-san.' I mumbled, blushing dark red. I hoped he wouldn't be able to see it in the low light but my cheeks were so hot they probably emitted their own glow anyway.

He only smirked, turning back to face the people again.

We assumed our previous silence which gave me some time to recover from my embarrassment. His exasperating charm was even more effective now that I knew I had feelings for him and I could sense it only growing worse. It was hard enough for me to concentrate without his touch turning me into an incoherent, red-faced mess.

After I'd calmed down, I was able to reflect on what he'd said. His talent with drawing was yet another hidden skill I would never have guessed he was capable of. If he was already 79 years old then what other hobbies had he perfected? He'd mentioned it was only normal for an immortal to have things to do lest they suffer from boredom and it made me wonder what I would do now that I knew I was immortal too. Since I was raised as human I would probably never be able to fathom that I would live for hundreds of years as I'd grown up with people who often died in their 50s and 60s and I'd always believed I'd be the same. The notion of immortality would take many decades for me to come to terms with.

Absorbed in my thought, I jumped a little when Kazama suddenly took my hand.

I turned to him abruptly, a chastising frown already forming on my face, but it was extinguished when I saw he wasn't looking at me in the normal smug way he would at our contact. He appeared kind of serious and the expression filled me with nerves.

Before I could talk, he flipped my hand over and placed a tiny black bag into my grasp. It was made of velvet and smaller than my palm with a thin cord tying it closed.

I frowned as he pulled his hand away. 'What's this?' I asked, lifting it to my face and squinting at it in the darkness. He just sighed, as if I should have already known what it was. 'A present, of course. What kind of husband would I be if I forget my wife's birthday?'

I froze mid-inspection.

For a minute I was speechless. Out of all the things I'd expected him to say that had been the last. I should have known he would be aware of my birthday but the truth was I hadn't even thought about it. I'd resolved myself to celebrating today alone, unable to share the joy of this occasion with anyone else. I hadn't wanted to tell him because in the scheme of things it was just another day. And to be honest I'd believed he wouldn't have cared much anyway.

When I looked down at the bag in my lap, I was so shocked I couldn't even thank him yet, nor could I speak. I could feel my emotions bubbling over the longer I stared at the gift he'd given me, a token that proved he really did care about me even if I wasn't sure just how much yet.

I wiped the first tear off my cheek as it spilled from my eye.

I knew now that everything he had done was because he'd known today was my birthday; letting us stay for the festival, the kimonos, the hair ribbon and lipstick… he'd planned everything out and made sure that we would get to this village by this day so I wouldn't have to spend my birthday trudging through a forest on the back of a horse. Knowing that he'd done all this for me was all that was needed for more tears to cascade down my face.

Kazama frowned as he noticed I was crying. 'What?' He asked sternly, plucking my hands off my face as they tried to shield my puffy eyes. I sniffed and managed to free one hand to brush the tears from my cheeks. 'I… I didn't think anyone knew.' I sobbed, trying to regain composure but I just couldn't get a grip on myself.

After I'd finished speaking, I felt his warm hands cup my face.

For once I didn't fight him; I let him clear the tears from my eyes like he'd done a few times before, giving in completely to the warmth of his fingertips and the tenderness of the gesture. He clicked his tongue as fresh tears continued to replace the old ones. 'It's my duty to know, Chizuru. Now stop crying and open the present.' He ordered, but he made no attempt to pull his hands off my face.

Finally the tears stopped thanks to his sobering command, and he cleared a few more before he let me go.

Once I was definitely finished, I picked the small bag up again. 'Thank you, Kazama-san.' I murmured, sniffing a little. He only sighed, gesturing for me to open it, so I untied the cord and tipped the contents into my palm.

It was a tiny moon charm, made of silver and encrusted with diamond.

I gasped at the small trinket just as he spoke. 'I figured this was an appropriate gift given our prophecy.' He purred, taking my hand in his and pulling it closer to him. I permitted him to sit my hand on his thigh as he plucked the moon charm from my fingers, opening its clasp and securing it to the link beside the sun on my bracelet. What a coincidence that the original charm was that of a sun.

When he was done, he lifted my hand up to his lips and kissed it, something he'd been doing a lot lately. 'Sun and moon, day and night.' He quoted almost poetically, chuckling as my face went tomato red.

He let me go after I'd given him a satisfactory reaction and I admired the gift he'd given me. I played with it subconsciously as I studied the deep-set diamonds embedded into its surface, so tiny I had to squint to see them. Despite their small size they refracted so much light that it appeared as if they were glowing.

'Thank you.' I said again, raising my timid eyes to his. He appeared proud that I approved but disregarded my thanks like he had last time. 'I've told you countless times already that you will be spoiled by my side, even in the centuries following our marriage. A queen deserves no less, and my queen you shall be.' He said simply.

I turned bright red just as the crowd started to grow even more restless. It appeared as though we were getting ready to light the lanterns.

Kazama smirked at the mortification on my face before he pointed lazily to my lantern. 'I believe it's time.' He said, the twinkling of his eyes filling me with butterflies. I nodded and stole another quick glance at the new charm on my wrist before I plucked the lantern off the bench and pulled it into my lap.

There was a round of soft cheers as the cue was given for people to start lighting their lanterns and I was too taken by the sight to light my own. One by one, soft lights began to fill the courtyard, accompanied by the delighted squeals of children and the gentle laughter of their parents. There were so many couples lighting their lanterns together too, holding hands or embracing before they turned to watch everyone else.

I stared down at my own lonely lantern, looking at the wick through the gap in the top. 'How will I light it?' I asked Kazama, turning to find him observing me placidly. I blushed and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear just as he shifted his body to face me. 'Swing your legs over the other side and face the tree. Then I'll show you.' He said. I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously, confused on what my positioning had to do with anything. 'Why?' I asked, earning a sharp glare. 'Because I said so.' He retorted, motioning for me to do as he'd said.

Sighing, I moved my legs onto the other side of the bench so I was facing away from the crowd.

He smirked before he closed the distance between us, immediately spurring my heart into overdrive. 'What are you doing?' I whimpered as he moved so agonisingly close to me that I became intoxicated by his scent. I could hear the soft rush of air in and out of his mouth as he breathed and feel the warmth of his haori even through the sleeves of my kimono.

Kazama chuckled at my embarrassment. 'Look at your lantern and hold it close to you so no one can see.'

It was then that I understood what he was going to do and I gaped up at him, forgetting for a second that our faces were only just inches apart. 'But what if someone…?'

'They won't see if you do what I tell you.' He said strictly, narrowing his eyes at my questioning. I gulped and pulled the lantern close to my chest. It was out of everyone's view as I was facing the opposite way and the tree branches acted as a shield from those standing at our sides. No one was paying us any mind anyway, and Kazama made sure of that before he turned back and instructed me to look down at the wick.

As I waited patiently for it to light itself, I was almost dying in anticipation. I hoped I wouldn't be as shocked this time as I was expecting him to use his clan power but I couldn't help the tingling of adrenaline in my body.

Suddenly, the wick in the lantern fizzled softly before it set itself alight.

I gaped at the sight, almost flicking it out of my hands and against the tree. 'Wow!' I said loudly, causing a few people to turn around and look at us although I was sure all they saw was a couple who had just lit their lantern together. Kazama appeared rather satisfied and made no effort to move away from me. ' _That_ is how you light a lantern. Not like how these primitive beings are lighting theirs.' He sighed, jerking his head in the direction of the people in the courtyard. I sighed at his rude remark, letting the lantern sit on my lap. 'They're not pr…'

Before I could continue, he pressed a finger to my lips. 'None of that, Chizuru.' He said, moving away from me and letting me rotate around to face the crowd again. I sighed at his scolding but remained pretty impressed at the use of his clan power. Could he conjure more fire than that? Could he manipulate it how he wanted? I knew I'd find out the answer to these eventually but my curiosity was overflowing.

Kazama was the first to end the silence this time. 'Tomorrow we leave early. If we make haste then we might reach Yamamura in a week and a half instead of a fortnight.' He said. I nodded, slightly disappointed we were leaving the village but I was also excited to see the Yume clan. I really had no clue what to expect or how to act, but I had almost 2 weeks to ask him questions about how to behave. It was crazy how some of the oni there may not have seen humans before and I wondered if I acted like one, however that was. Would it be obvious I'd been living in the human world for so long?

Kazama and I stayed for a while longer before he'd recommended we head back to the inn. I agreed without complaint as I was beginning to feel tired and I knew that we would be leaving very early tomorrow, maybe as early as we normally left when we were on the road.

As we pulled ourselves up off the bench, I had one last look around me so I would never forget this night.

* * *

When it was time for us to part ways, he waited until I was safely inside my room. 'Make sure you come to me if something happens. Especially if there's a mouse.' He said, smirking undisguisedly. I pressed my hand to my forehead, my eyes beginning to seal shut from fatigue. 'Fine.' I mumbled, too exhausted to give him the full reaction he was hoping for.

He chuckled, reaching out to take my chin in his fingers.

He traced my lips before he let me go, but just before he went to leave I stopped him. 'Uh… thanks for tonight, Kazama-san.' I murmured. He paused for a bit, raising an eyebrow. 'That must be the hundredth time you've thanked me this evening.' He said good-naturedly. I blushed and crossed my arms. 'Well… it's better than me not thanking you at all, isn't it?'

He just shrugged. 'Maybe. But if you really wish to show your gratitude, I can think of a few better ways to do so.' He purred. I sighed, shaking my head and attempting to control the fire in my cheeks. 'No thanks.' I shot back, going to shut the door but he blocked it and pushed it back open again. 'Pity. I was sure tonight was the night you would surrender to me, given your recent compliance. You didn't even protest when I wiped the tears off your face earlier.' He noted.

I froze in panic, crossing my arms and wishing he would hurry up and go. His taunts were the last thing I needed at this time of the night.

I scowled and gripped the door again. 'Very funny. Now let me go to bed.' I grumbled. Kazama chuckled, amused at my command. 'I will see you tomorrow, then. Bright and early.' He said. The lipstick on my lips had faded so they were back to normal but Kazama still gazed at them like they were painted like a geisha's. 'Ok…' I muttered.

When it was normally the time he would have left me, he didn't. We kind of just stood there staring at each other for a while and my cheeks were getting pinker the more intensity I saw in his eyes. I didn't _really_ want him to leave but I couldn't say that. I wished we weren't leaving so early tomorrow so I could have stayed up later with him.

Just before the situation got too awkward, Kazama sighed. 'Very well. I will wake you tomorrow for breakfast, Chizuru. Sleep well.' He said, his deep voice vibrating through my whole body.

I blushed as he ran his thumb over my chin, lingering a bit longer than he should have before he gave me one last look.

I watched him walk down the hallway and disappear around the corner, leaving me standing alone in the doorway of my room with mixed feelings of disappointment and relief.

Once he was gone I shut my door and locked it, pressing my back to the timber and letting out a deep breath. After today it was undeniable that it would take a miracle to stop this, to stop my feelings from growing.

I lifted my wrist to look at the moon charm. It was dangling next to the sun one, sparkling brightly despite the low light.

 _Sun and moon, day and night_ … he'd quoted those words as he'd given it to me.

 _A love that burns like fire._

* * *

 **Ending note**

Just putting in a reminder again that if you don't understand the 'sun and moon, day and night' references and all the references of their first date then it means you haven't read my first fanfic, **Sun and Moon** (so you better go and do that).

Yaaaaay this chapter took me so long to write, I'm posting this after writing and editing for 8 hours straight (and half the story had already been written too). Wow these long chapters take AGES but they're so fun haha.

Btw my exams aren't actually over yet, I still have two more so I can't guarantee I'll post regularly yet.

Also a reminder to vote for what you think Kazama's middle power is on my profile, now that you have more of an idea on what it is.

I hoped you all liked this chapter :D


	30. Budding warrior

**Yass I have now officially finished my exams! Everything is all done and dusted, however I'm going on holidays soon :o I will try to post more regularly but because the chapters remain really long it does take time to write them.**

 **Don't forget to go on my profile page to vote for what you think Kazama's middle power is! And if you have Instagram check out my page:** fleurlilas_art **as I will be posting the art I make for this story there (yay).I have a few pieces from the Yume clan chapters that I'm dying to post (but won't until I've uploaded the chapters haha)  
**

 **Alsoooo get keen guys, the Yume clan chapter is coming up really soon….**

 **Manu** \- I don't know how she's managed to resist him so far :o hope you enjoy this new chapter :D

 **Gembokkunci47** \- Haha I'm glad you liked it! As for the kiss…. You'll just have to wait for that one! :D You'll also get to hear a bit more about his past soon (yay) so get keen. I hope you like this newest chapter!

 **Guest** \- Merci ! Voila le nouvel chapitre- j'espere que tu l'aimes :D

 **Isuel** \- Thank you for your kind words about my fanfic (and I do know what you mean about their conversations haha, the topics certainly keep Chizuru on her toes that's for sure). I actually have heard of Toki no Kizuna! I saw some CGs of it a while ago and had a bit of a look but I haven't played it or read up on the background story, but now that I know it contains some more information about their oni powers I will definitely look into it. Thanks so much for your suggestion, and enjoy this newest chapter :D

* * *

 **Budding warrior**

Kazama and I walked in silence up the hill, leaving the village behind us.

We'd gotten up at the crack of dawn this morning and the sun was still not yet fully risen above the horizon. It had been torture trying to get out of bed because of how restless I'd been last night after he'd left me and it didn't help that I knew I'd have to spend the next two weeks sleeping in the open with only the canopy of trees above my head.

There had been no mention of last night between us yet. The events were still fresh in my mind and every time I thought of them my face started to grow hot. The truth was it had been an amazing day and it was interesting when I compared it to the very first date we'd had in Kyoto, as it was undeniable how much Kazama had managed to sway me since then. Well, _sway_ was a bit of an understatement; he had succeeded in getting me to develop feelings for him, which was no easy feat. It was still so surreal to me how I felt about him even after almost two days, and so I had practically accepted I would _always_ feel this mystified at how I could have let this happen.

Just as I shuddered at the thought, we came to the top of the hill.

Kazama instantly turned around to face me, almost making me jump out of my skin. 'We will wait here for Amagiri and Shiranui to arrive with the horses.' He declared as he leaned back against a tree on the side of the path.

I nodded, finding it hard to meet his gaze as the memories of last night ran through my head. The whole day had been one surprise after the other, from the moon charm he'd gotten me to the use of his clan power to light my lantern. Not only that but I'd managed to narrow down the possibilities of his middle power, so all I needed now was a clue or two and then I would figure it out. It wouldn't take as long as his clan power had taken to discover purely because I only had 5 options to choose from, but it would be difficult trying to choose between them without evidence. It still could have been any at this stage.

I sat down beside the tree he was leaning against, trying to ignore how he hadn't looked away from me since he'd spoken. I wondered at times like this exactly what was going through his head and if he was thinking about the same thing that I was thinking about. The possibility of him also about reflecting on how nice yesterday had been made it harder for me to keep the blood from rushing to my cheeks.

When I couldn't bare the awkwardness of his unrelenting glare anymore, I hugged my cape tighter around my body. 'Uh… so, will there be any more villages between here and Yamamura?' I asked, selecting a random topic to diffuse the intensity in the atmosphere. His attention on me increased tenfold however, leaving me dizzy from the heat I could see in his eyes. 'No, not on this side of the ranges. Once we leave this village the terrain becomes considerably more hostile as we grow closer to the mountains. Such an environment is too hostile for human infestation.' He said simply, a hand resting on his katana. I ignored his 'infestation' comment but had so many more questions to ask him about the mountains and the Yume clan. I was curious as to how they grew their food as I'd heard rumours that the Gin mountains were largely made of rock with very little vegetation.

When I said nothing, he continued. 'Why is that, Chizuru? Are you already dreading having to sleep out in the elements?' He inquired, his voice largely nonchalant despite the teasing intention of his words. Perhaps it was too early for even him to put all his effort into irking me.

I shook my head. 'No, I was just curious that's all.' I admitted, plucking my fingers away from the moon charm as I realised I'd began to play with it. He watched my sudden movement with interest before he sat down beside me, filling my stomach with giddy butterflies at how close we were. 'It will take roughly a week and a half to reach the Yume clan as I mentioned last night. There will be someone there to escort us when we arrive as it is impossible to find the city without a guide. You will understand why that is when you see. The village is situated above cloud level so it will be very cold but I believe you will find it to your liking.'

Despite how nervous I was, I was also filled with a strange feeling of excitement. This would be my first visit to an oni village since the destruction of my own so I had no idea what it would look like or even how many people would be living there. I had no memories of my own village save for a few snippets of what I'd seen from my flashbacks, but they had often been so blurred I hadn't been able to pick up much about my environment. It was insane to think there were whole villages of people like me, and it would also be the first time I'd met a clan leader save for Kazama and Sen.

I remembered then what Kazama had said about the gift Hanami would give me if I chose to take it. The gift to know whatever I wanted. I had to decide quickly whether or not I would use that gift but now that I finally had an opportunity to learn more about myself I couldn't choose what to pick.

However, there was one question that was hovering at the back of my mind. The fate of the Shinsengumi.

If I discovered they were dead then what would I do? This journey would no longer have any purpose for me and it wasn't like I could turn around and go home. I would have to follow Kazama to Ezo, but something told me I would have done that anyway as a means to pay my respects to them. I didn't want to think about the consequences of finding out an unfavourable truth but I couldn't go on not knowing.

But even so, I knew there was the possibility I wouldn't be able to bring myself to pose the question. If the time came for me to ask and I couldn't, then I would need to have a backup question.

So what would that be?

It was true I wanted to know more about my family but now that I knew they existed and how to get more information my desperation wasn't so pressing anymore. After this trip Kazama had promised to take me to the Midori clan so asking Hanami about my relatives there would only be a waste of my gift. In regards to my past, I wanted to know more about my time in my village but I knew the knowledge could have devastating consequences. If I found out the truth then it was possible I would become bitter like Kaoru, but I still didn't want to rule that out just yet as it might yet be the only opportunity I had to recover the memories I'd lost. Likewise, asking Hanami a question on my future could have undesired effects as well. What if I saw something I didn't like? What if I found out something bad was to happen? I'd prefer not to even go there.

Then there was my powers. There were no longer any surviving members of the Yukimura clan left so it could be worth it to ask Hanami about what the exact extent of them were. Maybe then I could find out if I could heal poison and illness like my father could and see if I was capable of anything else. It was also a possibility for me to ask Hanami about my middle power as apparently it could take decades for me to uncover it; I might even be able to learn how to use it too if I learned what it was. On the plus side, I could use it as means of enacting revenge on Kazama if I kept it a secret from him like he'd done for both his own clan and middle powers.

Just as I was pondering how I would structure the question, I heard the approaching sound of hooves on dirt.

Kazama immediately rose off the ground, holding his hand out in my direction. I accepted his offer shyly and he pulled me up to stand beside him, giving me a vague smirk as I started to go red, before he turned to watch Amagiri and Shiranui come up over the crest of the hill.

I couldn't help but smile as they brought the horses over to us. 'Amagiri-san, Shiranui-san.' I called out as they came closer. Shiranui raised his hand in a casual salute, flashing his white teeth as he led Yuki over to us. 'Long time no see, _kitten_.' He said, instantly causing me to go bright red.

I certainly hadn't missed his jokes, that was for sure.

Kazama snatched the reins from Shiranui's hand and sent him a withering glare. 'Call her that again even in jest and I'll ensure this is the last dawn you see.' He hissed, his quiet demeanour instantly replaced with white hot anger. He was practically quivering with malice at Shiranui's use of my pet name and I bit my lip as he passively fuelled Kazama's anger by smirking mischievously.

Amagiri spoke before the situation exacerbated. 'Good morning, Chizuru-sama. It has been a while. Have you been well?' He asked, giving me a polite bow which only served to deepen my blush. 'Uh.. I've been good thanks. And you, Amagiri-san?' I asked curiously, absentmindedly patting Yuki as a still-fuming Kazama held onto her reins with white knuckles. He hadn't taken his eyes off Shiranui, who was simpering wickedly at Kazama's fury.

Amagiri had only just opened his mouth to respond when Kazama interjected. 'You can play catch-up later. Let's go.' He said snarkily, facing Yuki to adjust her riding equipment. I exchanged a short glance with Amagiri as Kazama ensured her saddle was attached properly and hadn't been tampered with by Shiranui as a practical joke.

Once he had mounted, the gentleness in which he pulled me up behind him was in direct contrast to his anger.

I was almost relieved as I sunk into the saddle. His heat seeped through his cape to warm my chest and his scent encased me, making me feel alert and drowsy at the same time. It was such a relaxing smell but the hint of spice was strong enough to wave off my fatigue for now.

Kazama's exasperation eased noticeably as I pressed myself against his back, wrapping my arms around his torso without being told. I was bright red as I did so but I'd learned from experience that it was much worse having him turn around and ask me himself. He often accompanied his command to hold on with an inappropriate comment, trying to see how red he could make me before we were immersed in the silence of horse-riding for the hours following. It was one of his favourite travel games.

Once we were all ready Kazama gave his command to leave, and I got once last glance of the village behind us before it vanished from my sight.

* * *

I scowled at Kazama's offer to help me down, ignoring him as swung my leg over Yuki's saddle.

Not riding for two days had left me surprisingly soft. My body had almost forgotten what it was like to sit on a galloping horse for 4 hours straight clinging to someone so tightly my hands turned white, but today had been a cruel reminder of that sensation. My muscles were sore although already healing, which was more than I could say for my pride as Kazama was smirking at me like he did every time we stopped for a break. Horse-riding was the only time I latched tightly onto his body and refused to let go, a fantasy he no doubt had possessed for a long time.

I rummaged through my bag to pull out some fruit and my flask of water, paying Kazama no mind as he stood directly beside me and fished through his own bag. I could see the corner of the drawing pad that he'd won yesterday poking out from within and hear the rattling of the pencils in their case as he searched his bag for his flask. I didn't know if he would end up using the pad and pencils but if drawing really was one of his hobbies then I saw no reason for him not to. He'd said himself that he'd used drawing as a means to escape the mundane routine of immortal life and in this case he could use it to ease the boredom of travel.

Just as I was about to turn around to sit down and start eating, Kazama stopped me by speaking. 'Once you've eaten we will begin our training.'

I froze mid rotation and stared at him blankly.

Did he mean swordplay?

He had told me we would start after we'd left the village but I hadn't know it would be so soon. I was ecstatic to start training but once we started then that would be the end of my freedom until we reached Ezo. I didn't know how often he expected us to train but I hoped it would be every day.

Kazama continued to speak as he walked away from Yuki to find a place to sit. 'Late morning is the perfect time for practice as you are fully awake and alert. As I've already assessed your ability and discerned that your skills are abysmal, we will start with the basics and work our way up from there.' He said mildly, sitting cross legged beside a tree and raising his eyes to stare at me. I blushed as he patted the spot next to him, smirking at the humiliation on my face at his remark about my unimpressive sword skills.

I sighed, plonking myself down ungracefully beneath the tree where he'd gestured to. He was less than a metre away, his smell drifting into my nose and messing up my brain. I could never grow weary of his scent.

We ate in silence, not even a snide remark from Shiranui breaking the peace. It was nice in a way to be back on the road even though I would be denied of many of the luxuries I'd had access to at the inn, but the reality was the longer we spent in one place the longer it would take to get to Ezo. If I chose to ask Hanami about the fate of the Shinsengumi then in 2 weeks' time I would either be relieved or mourning. The fear of the latter made me question whether it was a good idea to ask after all, but it was probable I would regret it if I didn't.

Once I'd taken a few sips from my flask, I broke the silence. 'So what did you both do anyway?' I asked, directing the question at Amagiri and Shiranui. Amagiri turned to Shiranui to indicate he could answer first and he did so without hesitation. 'Nothing much. Went exploring, mostly. A break from your husband's stifling presence was nothing short of blissful.'

I tensed from embarrassment just as I felt Kazama's irritation peak. I could tell from the rapidity of his reaction that he remained irked with what he'd called me earlier. 'Oh.' I said, trying to think of something to say to distract Kazama from his ire. 'Where did you explore?'

Shiranui chuckled, idly scratching the dirt with his boot. 'Just around. The forest, the village...' He trailed off vaguely, his eyes gleaming at the mystery of his response. Either he didn't want to tell me where he went or he really did just look around the forest and the village which wouldn't have surprised me. I couldn't imagine Shiranui sitting idly in his room for two days twiddling his thumbs.

I turned to the red-headed oni afterwards. 'What about you, Amagiri-san?'

He turned from Shiranui as I addressed him. 'I sourced some more food for our journey and sent a few letters to my clan. It has been a while since they have heard from me so news was very much overdue.' He disclosed, perking my interest.

He'd mentioned a while ago that he hadn't returned to his clan in 6 years because time hadn't permitted it but I was glad to know he could still send them letters. 'That's nice. It must please them to hear from you. So how do the letters get there if your clan is supposedly in hiding?' I asked curiously. He smiled at my question, his piercing blue eyes exuding nothing but warmth. 'One of our members travels to a nearby human town to collect our mail and then brings it back to Hebimura, my village.'

I nodded slowly. So that's what his village name was: Hebimura, _hebi_ meaning 'snake'.

When he went to elaborate, Kazama interrupted as if he was jealous that my attention was on Amagiri. 'His clan is named after its crest. Each clan has a crest and yours was the Sika deer. The Midori clan's is a raven as it is their messenger animal, and it just so happens that your mother's familiar was also that of a raven.' He said, instantly filling me with a thousand more questions at everything he'd said. I'd never heard of a familiar before, whatever that was, and the thought that animals could be used to deliver messages was mind-blowing to me.

I was pretty surprised Kazama had given me all this information without prompting but it had probably been because he found the thought of Amagiri answering my questions unbearable. It was his pride that required him to be the one who taught me more about our race, not only because it was part of his domineering nature but because he liked to soak up my surprise too.

I propped myself up on my calves, eyes wide with a hunger for knowledge. 'So what's the purpose of a crest and a messenger animal? And what do you mean by _familiar_?' I interrogated, my gaze fixed on his face.

Kazama sighed at the stream of questions that had left my mouth. 'A clan crest is simply a symbol representing your clan, just like how countries have seals and flags. A messenger animal is used to deliver messages to those within the clan or out in the human world and ravens are the animal chosen by your mother's clan to carry out such a duty. To answer your last question, a familiar is a spiritual entity that can be summoned at will by those with the power to do so. This ability is an aspect of the Midori clan power and their familiars always take on the form of animals. Your mother's was a raven.'

I went silent for a while as he finished speaking.

I was intrigued by what I'd learned. I'd never heard of summoning spirits before and I hoped that when I saw my family in the Midori clan that they could show me. The more I thought about it, the more surreal it became that I really did have a family. All this time of believing I was alone made the knowledge I had living relatives even sweeter. It was almost enough to make me start crying.

Almost as if Kazama sensed it, he stood up. 'Enough talk. There is plenty of time for that tonight. In the meantime, follow me and prepare yourself for training.' He ordered, watching me with hawk eyes as I dragged myself obediently off the dirt and stood up. I brushed the soil off my pants and touched the kodachi at my waist, absentmindedly checking that it was there.

I placed my things back in my saddlebag hurriedly as I noticed Kazama had already started to walk off. He was more than capable of being patient, but it seemed waiting for me to return my belongings to my bag was too much of a task for him today.

After I'd smiled at Amagiri and Shiranui, I strolled into the forest after him.

I didn't bother to ask where we were going as I caught up to his side. He'd proven to me many times before that he was capable finding appropriate spaces for any activity, whether that be for meadow dates or camping. The trees were not overly dense so it was relatively easy to walk through them but I still had to make sure I didn't trip over. I wouldn't put it past myself to stumble over a tree root or stone like I'd done so many times already in Kazama's presence and I didn't want any other occasions added to the list.

When I peered timidly at the side of his face, he seemed at ease. The needles of sunlight illuminated his hair and filled his eyes with radiance, and my heart began to pound faster as my gaze tracing the curve of his lips like my fingers had done yesterday. They had felt so delicate and had such a pleasant shape too; thin but beautiful, a pale shell pink, and I was overcome with an outlandish need to touch them again so I could confirm they were still just as soft as they'd been yesterday.

How was I supposed to keep myself from losing my mind before we reached Ezo? There were so many emotions he made me feel, most very confused, and it was only a matter of time now before I really did go crazy. Even the _thought_ of him rendered me inarticulate and unintelligible.

After a short amount of walking we finally came to a small space in the forest, blanketed with fallen leaves.

I shook myself out of my daze as Kazama turned to face me. 'This is where we shall hold our first training session. Are you ready?' He asked, raising an eyebrow at me as he saw how red I was. I nodded timidly, hoping he would turn away from me at some point so I could calm myself down, and was relieved when he finally did.

He walked a few metres away, drawing his katana. It made a clean sound as it was pulled from its sheathe and when it was fully drawn he rotated back around to face me. 'Unsheathe your kodachi.' He requested, waiting until I'd done as he'd asked before he continued. 'Today we will practice your approach at an enemy. When I tested your ability a few days ago your movements were easily predictable, so I will teach you how to obtain the upper hand early on.' He announced, tilting his head to communicate for me to prepare myself.

I moved into the stance my father had taught me, holding my sword out in front of my body. Kazama appeared mostly unfazed by what was going on as he assumed his bored pose, insulting my ability by refusing to get into stance. It was evident he believed today would be a repeat of the first time we'd sparred, with me either losing my weapon or not being able to block his advances. He was probably right but I would definitely give it my best go.

With us both ready, he gave me his instruction. 'When attacking your opponent do not raise your sword until you are near enough to strike. If you raise your sword too early then not only will you be slower but he can see where you will hit him due to the position of your blade. The key is to charge first, then go in for the blow. Do you understand?' He asked, his eyes analysing my stance and making sure I was in the right position.

I nodded. 'I understand.'

After I gave my answer his eyes lifted to my face. 'Very well. Begin when you're ready.' He prompted, lifting his katana slightly in front of him. He appeared still as indifferent as before and I tried not to sigh as I considered where I would strike first. I normally would have gone for his shoulder but then I'd have to lift my arms up and expose my chest, and I'd learned from experience that going for Kazama's shoulders was fruitless anyway.

When I'd decided which part of him to go for, I wasted no time in charging towards him.

We were only a few metres apart but I didn't raise my sword until the last minute, vaguely noticing his eyes scouring me for clues as to where I would strike. I wasn't quite as worried about hurting him as I was when I'd fought with Saito because I already knew what Kazama was capable of, as I'd seen him in action multiple times. When I'd sparred with Saito I hadn't yet seen the extent of his talent.

I flicked my sword towards his ribs as hard and fast as I could, but he blocked me effortlessly without even taking a step back.

We pulled our blades apart and I sighed in disappointment. I'd assumed that would happen but knowing he could block me so easily made me wonder how long it would take to improve. It might take _longer_ than the next two months.

Kazama noticed the dissatisfaction on my face and gestured for me to return to my spot. 'That was adequate, Chizuru, but you remain too slow. That is something that will improve with time and practice so for now we will concentrate on your approach. Try again.' He urged as I resumed my stance a few metres from him. When he nodded at me, I once again analysed what part of him I aim for. I knew would block me no matter what but I wanted to at least try and get close.

I charged again, trying to be faster than I had before. He was right when he said I was slow but that was mostly because I was uncertain about my abilities. I also wasn't as skilled as him and I probably would never be, but I hoped it would be enough to take him by surprise.

This time I raised my kodachi up as if to pierce him through the stomach, slightly hesitant to use too much force just in case I actually did stab him, but he blocked me just as before I could. I expected him to stop there but he didn't, plucking his blade back from mine and flicking it up towards my throat like he'd done during my assessment. I gasped in surprise and raised my kodachi frantically but by the time I'd registered the move he was already holding his katana to my neck.

When he saw the disapproval in my eyes, he smirked. 'Your reflexes need work too.' He noted, pulling his blade from me and taking a step back. I instantly went red, offended by his comment as I brought my kodachi back to my side. 'That's only because I didn't know you were going to attack me.' I countered, my heart still pounding from adrenaline. He disregarded my excuse entirely, and in fact it seemed to irk him. 'An enemy does not tell you he is going to strike, nor does he give you warning. You should be prepared for the unexpected even when sparring with me. Now move back into position.' He ordered unsympathetically.

I sighed, sulking back to my spot and getting ready to try once more. He did have a point but at this stage I was virtually incapable of blocking him unless he'd warned me previously because my reflexes _did_ need work. At least from now I on I would be prepared for anything when practicing swordplay with him.

When I saw he was ready, I lunged at him for the third time. A small cloud of dirt kicked up at my feet as I pushed myself into a run, trying to discern which would be the hardest area for him to block. If he was going to be spontaneous with his assault then I would try to be as well, so I tried to work out how I could feign an attack.

Once I'd decided my next move was worth a gamble, I thrust my sword towards his ribs again. I watched almost in slow motion as shifted his katana to block it, but at the last minute I curbed my blade to aim for his other side. A spark of triumph ignited in me as I realised I'd managed to surprise him but it didn't last long because he effortlessly adjusted his aim to counter it.

An impressed grin graced Kazama's features as he swung at me again. 'Keep going, Chizuru.' He urged as he saw the uncertainty in my eyes as I shakily blocked his next move. His strikes were slightly delayed, giving me time to process how I could block them, but I was still filled with pride at the length of the fight. This was the longest I'd managed to spar for.

Eventually I was unable to block one of his attacks and he gently pressed the tip of his blade to my abdomen. 'Good.' He said, lowering his katana and smirking at the proud smile on my face. Even though our mini battle had only gone for about 15 seconds, I'd regained some of the dignity I'd lost in my previous attempts at swordfighting. My goal was that one day I could spar with him and have him not hold back.

I reassumed my stance, eager to try again. 'So how would I block you if you were to attack first?' I asked sheepishly, attempting to ignore the way his garnet eyes were examining me. He appeared pleased with my attentiveness and lifted his sword slightly, keeping the end from scraping against the dirt. 'The key is to read my movements. Swordplay isn't about guessing what the other is going to do; it's about reading their body language, learning how to outsmart them. Most of the time you can detect where someone will strike by what part of you they look at as they're charging. Those who have been trained properly like myself do not make that mistake but to help you practice I will forget what I've been taught in that regard. Watch my eyes closely.'

I nodded, acknowledging that I understood, and I readied myself once more.

When I was in stance, I lifted my eyes to meet his. They were burning brightly in the shade of the trees, emitting a dull glow like dying embers. Their beauty almost sucked the breath right out of my lungs and I did my best to try to focus. Every time I stared into their cerise depths I could feel myself becoming undone.

Almost as if he knew I was at my weakest, he launched at me.

I gasped and scrambled to lift my kodachi, taking note of his trail of sight. He had shifted his attention from my face to my left shoulder and by the time I realised where he was aiming I only had a second left before it would be too late.

I threw my kodachi up to meet his katana, causing a sharp _clink_ to resonate through the trees around us. Taking the initiative, I rapidly twisted my blade away from his and took a step back so I could have enough space to make the next move. He waited only a second for me to adjust myself before he struck once again, denying me of the privilege, and I deflected him with a slight gasp. Pulling back to attack him I found he wouldn't let me; he kept me on my toes, forcing me to be on the defence.

'Quicker, Chizuru. Don't let your opponent dictate the battle.' He guided, pushing me back with force. I stumbled back but regained balance quickly, my heart thudding so loud in my ears I barely heard his advice, but I seized the advantage of the space he'd put between us to angle my blade towards his throat. I hurled myself towards him, my eyes flicking to his to see if he was watching my attack. He wasn't, as he was glaring deep into my eyes with unbridled heat, but he parried the blow nonetheless.

I sighed in frustration, flustered that he could read my movements so fluently. I gave up attacking his torso for now and instead directed the blade towards his thigh, hoping it would be enough of a surprise to fool him. It was hard for me to imagine a time where I wouldn't need to think before I acted, where this would become reflex like it was for him but I was praying this unexpected move would be his weakness.

Unfortunately, my hope was short-lived as he gave a small chuckle and evaded it, taking advantage of my momentary loss of stance to slip his foot between my own. With one fluid motion he tripped me over, severing the connection between the ground and my feet.

'Kazama-san!' I squealed, bracing myself for a hard landing on the dirt.

Before I landed, however, he pulled me to his chest before I hit the ground and my arms automatically wrapped around his neck. The combined sensation of our bodies crushed together and his face so close to mine made it hard for me to breathe.

After I'd been successfully secured in his arms, he leaned in even closer as if he was testing the water. 'Going for the legs is not wise, kitten.' He hummed, our lips just inches apart. From head to toe the sudden longing to close the distance between us hit me so hard I almost passed out. No matter how wrong I told myself this was I couldn't pull away from him or make an effort to worm my way out of his grasp; I was fighting a savage battle to hold on to my self-control.

He chuckled as I gave no witty reply, straightening us both without realising how close I'd just come to breaking. 'When you are as unskilled as you are, going for the legs only creates an opportunity for your opponent to attack your torso as your blade is lowered. Or in this case, trip you over.'

The disappointment was so crushing as he retracted his hands from me that I scowled a little.

Kazama took that as the bitterness of losing, so he continued. 'Don't be disheartened, Chizuru. Although we have only just scraped the surface of what I need to teach you, you have displayed your potential. It seems oni powers aren't the only things that come naturally to you and I have no doubt there remains even more than what I've already seen. After all, it is only normal for a jewel to have many facets; each more beautiful than the last.' He purred, delighting in the pained expression I gave him for such a bold remark. Half my dislike of his honesty came from what it had started to do to me. Each time he called me beautiful or complimented me in any way I feared I would liquefy.

Once he'd soaked in as much of my embarrassment as possible, he picked up both of our swords. 'Shall we continue?' He asked as he gave me my kodachi. I nodded timidly, still too sobered by what had happened to look at him. 'Ok.' I obliged, stumbling back into position and trying to conceive how I was supposed to concentrate after _that_.

We continued to spar for a while afterwards, each battle leaving Kazama the victor. It seemed the more potential I showed the harsher he was with me and soon enough the delays between his blows got shorter. He never let me rest, forcing me to deflect hit after hit. Over and over again I attempted to get my sword close to his skin but he wouldn't permit it no matter what part of him I aimed for.

My embarrassment had almost completely faded as I threw my body towards him for the hundredth time in an effort to connect my blade with his skin.

He dodged my swipe easily and sidestepped me, chuckling as he saw the growing heat in my eyes. 'Keep a level head, Chizuru. Frustration only clouds the mind.' He said airily, his statement having the exact opposite effect of calming me down. I was mostly irritated now instead of embarrassed because I was becoming aware he was playing with me. He'd stopped knocking the blade from my hand but he never let me get a good hit in either.

This had turned into a game.

I let out another sigh, altering my attention from his hands to his eyes and trying to work out his next move. I could feel the dampness of sweat forming on my back and forehead, my breathing become jagged with the exercise. Meanwhile a very haughty Kazama appeared perfectly at ease as if this was no more taxing than a leisurely afternoon stroll. His eyes contained a sparkle of amusement which told me this had most _definitely_ morphed from a training session into a game.

I avoided one of his lazy jabs to the torso just as he resumed riling me. 'Don't push yourself, kitten.' He sighed, communicating to me that he was aware of my decreasing vigour. I bit my tongue to resist snapping at him, pushing him away with my blade as hard as I could as our swords collided. Deep down I understood he was only trying to get under my skin but I couldn't dowse the building exasperation ignited by his taunt.

He barely stepped back from the force, a permanent leer glued to his face as he tested my limits. 'If you're growing tired then just say so, Chizuru. There is nothing shameful about asking for repose.' He declared with false sincerity, reminding me once more of the unmistakable difference in our energy levels. There was not a single drop of sweat on his skin and his breathing remained as even as it had been before we'd started. This was nothing more than child's play to him.

I ground my teeth together, unable to hold back anymore. 'You should be worrying about your own health given your age.' I countered, immediately wishing I could take back the comment as I saw a grin split across his face. I had known such a reaction was exactly what he'd wanted but I had given it to him anyway, making the regret a million times worse as I saw in his eyes just how much it pleased him.

Blocking a particularly sharp blow from his katana, I cowered briefly underneath his strength before I shakily pushed him away. He was still playing with me, making me feel like a puppet on a string. He was in complete control of the fight and was crafting his attacks in such a way that I was merely spending the entire battle deflecting him.

He chuckled, eyes contrasting brightly against the emerald green of the leaves above us. 'Ah, once more you prove that you really _don't_ need alcohol to give me attitude. Is there any other hidden parts to you I should know about before I make you my wife?' He goaded, reveling in the heightening vexation in my expression. I flushed bright red as he brought up our hypothetical marriage. 'I've already told you so many times that I won't marry you. And it's going to stay that way.' I muttered, deliberately avoiding his gaze so I would be spared from his growing delectation.

He slanted his blade to break free of the lock between our swords, parrying one of my ineffectual attempts to mark him. 'If you really wish for me to cease my efforts to make you my wife then it would be wise to stop encouraging my advances, then. Every time you look at me I see your eyes cloud with desire.' He bit back, drinking in the flush that had invaded my cheeks.

Having to concentrate so hard on swordfighting made me a little less capable of assessing my words before I spoke them which was exactly what he wanted. He was puppeting me in more ways than just our swordplay. It drove me mad to realise he was manipulating the conversation too, augmenting my irritation so I loosened my tongue.

But now that I'd started, I couldn't stop.

My cheeks flamed as I tried unsuccessfully to act like what he'd said wasn't true. 'I do _not_ encourage your advances in any way and nor have I ever. That's just your twisted mind choosing to view my rejection as consent.' I argued, cringing as he forced me backwards. I stumbled for a bit but he didn't make an effort to raise his katana to my neck to seal the battle; he waited until I had regained my balance and then he lunged at me again.

I blocked him just as he spoke. 'I see you still insist on lying to me. Have you already forgotten how you purred last week? Might I remind you that onis only purr when they're _content._ '

He put so much emphasis on the last word that I faltered slightly and he finally knocked my kodachi from my hands. It fell to the ground with a dull thud, announcing the end of our match.

I was glad it was over, but he'd dealt a much deeper blow to my pride.

I bent down and wordlessly pulled my kodachi off the fallen leaves, unable to meet his gaze or find a suitable retort. 'Are we finished?' I asked brusquely, ignoring his jesting as I waited for the command to sheathe my kodachi. His smirk at my question was so potent I could sense it even without looking at him. 'No response? Pity.' He said simply, eyeing my discomfort proudly before he answered my original question. 'Indeed we are. But I won't always be this easy on you.' He warned, his baritone voice unlacing the string holding my composure together.

I put my kodachi back into its scabbard, a mix of angry and mortified.

Once he'd gestured for me to follow him, I kept my eyes fixed on the leaves under my feet as we started to walk.

Kazama didn't speak despite how smug he was, knowing he'd hit me where it would cause the most damage to my dignity. I suppressed a quiver as I reflected on how soothing his caresses had been on my face and ears that night, his touch skilful enough to suggest he knew my body better than I did. To make matters worse, I'd been incapable of quenching the purring even though I'd been so scared. I didn't understand how he could do that to me.

When we finally arrived back to where we'd stopped for lunch, two pairs of eyes raised to watch us enter the small clearing.

Amagiri instantly raised himself from the patch of grass he was sitting on before Kazama could even give the command to leave. 'How did you fare, Chizuru-sama?' He asked politely, reinstating the blush I'd just gotten rid of.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, opening my mouth to reply but Kazama butted in. 'She was passable. There is much improvement needed but she held her own when required. She remains a chronic liar, though.' He added the last part so naturally that it caught me off guard. I quickly distracted myself by starting to fumble through my bag for my flask and Shiranui and Amagiri appeared slightly confused by Kazama's remark but chose not to probe for answers; instead they rose themselves and started to get ready to leave.

I took a few mouthfuls of water and swallowed them with difficulty as I sensed Kazama's eyes searing me from behind, radiating satisfaction at my evident discomfort. 'Ready?' He asked as I placed my flask back into my saddlebag. I nodded without speaking and he chuckled before getting ready to mount. I just knew the rest of today was going to be torture with him in such an arrogant mood.

After he'd hauled himself up onto Yuki, he adjusted himself briefly in the saddle before turning to hold his hand out to me expectantly.

I grit my teeth obstinately, still annoyed that he'd embarrassed me. 'I can do it myself.' I stated, putting my foot in the stirrup and trying to heave myself up. My tenacity dissolved immediately as I realised I'd underestimated the difficulty of mounting without help, and I grunted a little as I tried to squirm myself onto the saddle behind him. He watched me patiently as I floundered for a few seconds before dragging myself into a sitting position and finally settling behind him, slightly short of breath.

My cheeks were already crimson when he turned around to raise an eyebrow at me. He said nothing, though; he didn't need to.

When he released me from his gaze I regretfully wrapped my arms around his torso, feeling his muscles relax slightly as I did so. He seized Yuki's reins as the action let him know I was ready. 'Let's go.' He ordered, not bothering to check if the others had mounted yet.

Shiranui was still smirking at the red on my face when Kazama kicked Yuki into a gallop.

I clung onto him tighter, sinking into his body. Burying my face into his cape, I fought the urge to breathe in his scent as Yuki gained momentum and the jolts of her movements caused me to move up and down in the saddle. Kazama kept me grounded, however, his presence in front of me assuring me I wouldn't fall off no matter how fast we went.

With no reason to stop again, we continued until nightfall.

* * *

 **JUST WARNING YOU** **that the next chapter will have a time jump of just over a week, taking us to the day before they reach the Yume clan. Wooo!**


	31. Memories

**Hello my darlings, a new chapter is here!**

 **It's so crazy when I look back and all the chapters at the start of this story are like 3000-4000 words long and now I'm averaging at like 10,000 words a chapter and I have no idea how I managed to condense everything into 3000 words in the past.**

 **Ok weird remark over.**

 **I just have to let you know how excited I am for the chapters from here on out until the end of the story. I've got some cool things coming up (and some action, yay).**

 **Also I FINALLY finished planning out the rest of the story in its entirety, and I have counted about 64 chapters in total (I often add/delete chapters so it may vary slightly)… so I'm sorry. This isn't yet half done (I'm so sorry, it's long but there's so many cool things I had to have happen). I have also started to plan the next story AND some chapters from Kazama's perspective because** **heavenXscent** **gave me some good ideas.**

 **HOWEVER the chapters from Kazama's perspective will be posted at the very END of the story, when all 64 chapters have been posted. So far I can confirm I will be doing the betrothal ceremony AND when Chizuru and Kazama meet in Ikedaya (both from Kazama's perspective). I will decide on the other chapters at the very end of the story because then you guys will have the full list of chapters to pick from. Unfortunately I will not do all of them, because I am not writing 64 chapters all over again haha, nor will I do probably more than 5. I suppose too if you want anything that happened in the anime to be written from Kazama's perspective then I would consider it, but I'm not guaranteeing anything.**

 **Don't forget my Instagram is** fleurlilas_art **and you're going to want to follow me because I've made so much art for the Yume clan chapters.**

 **Anyway that's enough of me for one day. Enjoy the chapter!**

 **Gembokkunci47-** Thanks for the review! Glad you liked the sparring haha :D and I hope you like this new chapter too!

 **HeavenXscent** \- Heeeey :D thank you so much for your kind words and your suggestions! If you read the massive author note above, you will see you got a special mention haha as I've started planning which chapters I'll do from Kazama's perspective. I will keep in mind your vote for the Hoshi clan too, so thanks for taking the time to tell me what you reckon! Btw I like long reviews especially when they're nice ones like yours haha :D enjoy this new chapter

 **Alysania** \- Nawww thank you so much :3 I so have to agree with you on the chemistry thing; Chizuru and Kazama are so suited to each other and I loooove writing their interactions because they're kind of opposite but just work so well. She's so timid and lovely and he's so… well, annoying and smug :D And seductive. Don't forget seductive. Thank you for the review and good luck with your exams too !

 **Guest** \- Saluut! Voila, la suite comme t'as voulu :D j'espere que tu l'aimes :3

 **Yona0** \- Hello there, thanks for the review! In regards to the arrow thing, it's not her middle power but in my mind when I wrote that chapter, it was like an instinctual thing that's part of her lesser abilities as an oni. The others might have sensed it too but I wanted Chizuru to react to it first in order to set the plot up for that chapter :D PS. I'm happy you noticed the change in her, I tried to have her change throughout the story to become stronger and I'm glad you noticed (yay). Thanks for the review :3

 **Nafeesa321** \- Thank you for the review! To answer your question….. the chapter comes out now haha :D I try to post every week but sometimes the chapters end up being really long and it takes longer than a week to write them. Hope you like this new one :D

 **Kakyoin** \- Thank you :3 I'm glad you've liked it so far haha, and there's only more cute moments to come :3 I hope you like this chapter too

* * *

 **Memories**

It had been a week and a half since we'd left the previous village, riding from dawn to dusk each day in order to arrive at Yamamura as soon as possible.

Night had fallen an hour ago and I had gotten an immediate start on dinner as we'd stopped to camp for the night. The past week and a half had been largely uneventful; getting up at dawn and settling at dusk. Kazama and I had practiced swordplay a little more but as we were in a hurry to get to the Yume clan we could not afford to practice every day. Fortunately, this sacrifice meant we had certainly made good time and the mountains were now in view, albeit still a day's ride away. I could see their massive peaks in the distance, resting on the horizon like jagged teeth.

Returning my attention to the stew, I stirred it once more before discerning that it was cooked. 'Dinner's ready.' I announced, noticing the relief radiate from the onis on the other side of the fire.

Kazama was gazing up at the sky as usual, seated a few metres away, but turned his head at the sound of my voice. I blushed as our eyes met and quickly turned back to plate up everyone's meals to distract myself from how they made me feel.

Shiranui reached out to take his food off me. 'Thanks.' He said informally, displaying good manners despite his waywardness. I smiled in acknowledgement and gave him a spoon, appreciating how polite he was. He may have had a wicked streak and an affinity for creating trouble but he gave credit where credit was due.

When I started to pour some stew in a bowl for Amagiri, he waited on the other side of the fire for me to finish. His face was blank but not unkind and I wondered idly how old he was for a moment. I assumed he was even older than Kazama due to their difference in appearance but Kazama looked so young and yet was _already_ 79… so how old would that make someone who seemed to be in their 40's?

Once I'd filled his bowl to the brim I picked up a spoon, flinching slightly as he appeared beside me to take it from my hands. 'Thank you, Chizuru-sama.' He said, bowing like he always did every time he believed my actions required gratitude. I blushed as usual and passed him the spoon. 'You're welcome, Amagiri-san. There's plenty more so help yourself.' I said, going redder as he bowed once more.

As soon as he'd left me to go eat on the other side of the fire, I arranged Kazama's meal. It had stopped bothering me a long time ago how he'd never come to collect his food. It could have been due to his pride or how he'd probably been raised as royalty, but it also could have been something else entirely. Maybe he relished in how it was what a wife would do for her husband.

I rose off the dirt with Kazama's bowl and spoon in my hands, walking around the fire and kneeling down before him on the grass. 'Here you go, Kazama-san. There's more if you're still hungry afterwards.' I said, placing his spoon in the stew. I raised my eyes briefly to his face and saw he was staring at me like he was mulling something over. I was both terrified and curious at the same time but I wasn't game enough to ask him what he was thinking about.

I smiled at him briefly before getting up off the grass, moving back to the pot to serve up my own meal. I could still feel his eyes on me as I moved a few cups of stew into my bowl, but I was too nervous about why he was examining me to be excited about eating. It was like he was waiting for the right moment to speak and the thought made me nervous.

Just as I went to settle onto the grass to enjoy my meal, Kazama finally broke the silence. 'Come here and sit next to me.' He commanded, although his voice was rather placid.

Amagiri and Shiranui peered up in mild interest to see my reaction. 'Uh…ok.' I murmured, quickly moving back over to him. I sat down where he'd gestured to, swarming with nerves even though he'd done nothing particularly embarrassing in the past week and a half. I'd worked out it was a symptom of my feelings for him.

Kazama sighed, either at my anxiety or what he was about to say. 'We will reach Yamamura tomorrow at dusk, Chizuru.'

I slowly started to eat my stew before it got cold, nodding to let him know I'd heard. I'd already known we would get there tomorrow but now that he'd confirmed it, I began to feel even more nervous. It was inconceivable how soon I would be dining not out in the forest but in an oni village surrounded by possibly hundreds of my kin.

A small shiver went down my spine as an eager yet uncertain yearning began to swell in me. In some ways these people were like my family. Biologically we were alike even if we had grown up in different worlds and by extension this caused me to ponder if I would actually fit in after all. After living with humans for so long it was possible I'd picked up many of their habits and would seem like more of a human than an oni.

The fear of them not accepting me was more terrifying than I'd expected.

Kazama started to eat as well, his cleanliness in complete contrast to me. I winced as I spilt some potato on my cape and quickly wiped it off before anyone saw me but the quick flick of Kazama's eyes in my direction let me know he'd noticed. Knowing he'd seen me be such a slob was chastening but the act of eating in front of him had never been a pleasant experience anyway.

After a continued period of silence he finished his meal, wiping his mouth and making no effort to take his dishes over to the sac I normally put them in when they were dirty. That had also ceased to irk me as it was yet another part of who he was. He could be polite when he wanted something but his generosity did not extend to cleaning up after himself.

Thankfully by the time he'd turned to resume staring at my face, I'd already consumed my meal and was in the process of collecting both of our dishes. He observed me persistently but didn't protest as I got up and left his side to take them back over to fire, shoving them in the sac and preparing myself to take them to the creek to wash.

Just as I stood up with the dishes and went to declare I was leaving, Kazama raised his hand. 'Stay. You can do that later, as I need to talk to you about tomorrow.' He directed, instructing me once more to sit by his side. I sighed in defeat but was curious as to what he would say so I obliged.

Once I was seated he began without delay. 'When we arrive at the base of the ranges there will be someone there to escort us to the village. You and I will stay in the guest chambers of the Yume estate, as all guests do, and I will _ensure_ that our rooms be adjacent. There will be no repeat of what happened at the last village, Chizuru.' He said firmly, as if he still believed that I was to blame for the inn's popularity on that occasion.

I frowned at him, about to open my mouth to tell him off, but he cut me off with a smirk. 'The following day after our arrival there will be a welcome ceremony that will occur in the estate gardens followed by a festival that will run for most of the night. It is during this time that Hanami will ask if you wish to use your gift and you will be expected to provide your answer. Just out of curiosity, dear bride, will you choose to make use of it?'

His question caught me off guard. I had already decided that I would but I didn't want to tell Kazama about what I'd chosen. He would most definitely consider the question about the fate of the Shinsengumi as a waste of such a gift and if it turned out they were still alive then he was bound to be unbearably broody for a few days.

But if they weren't alive then… what he would do? Would he gloat in my face? Or would he comfort me?

I shifted uncomfortably, answering his question but refusing to elaborate. 'I will use it.' I murmured, averting my eyes from his as he rose an eyebrow.

My response had definitely incited his interest, so much so he didn't bother to hide it. 'That is most interesting, considering I am also choosing to use my mine.' He said with a crooked smile that made me slightly uneasy. I was surprised he hadn't used his gift already given how this wasn't his first trip to the Yume clan, but I'd taken him as the sort of person who would think carefully about something like this. The power to know anything you wanted to was not something to be taken lightly.

I chose not to mention anything more about the gift lest he question me about mine. 'So… what do I do?' I asked, looking up briefly to see a flash of confusion cross his face. He tilted his head to one side. ' _Do,_ kitten? In what context?'

I sighed, ignoring my pet name. 'I mean what do I do in general. Is there anything I need to know about how to behave in an oni village?' I questioned warily, watching the understanding settle on Kazama's face as he realised what I meant. 'I see. Well there are certain customs you may find bizarre, and likewise there will be mannerisms of yours they shall find foreign. Something I should have told you a while ago is that each oni clan has their own language but as they also speak Japanese this will have very little impact on you. However, there is one convention that I truly need warn you about.' He said, leaving his explanation deliberately vague so he would attract my undivided attention.

I swallowed, a million possibilities coursing through my mind at once. 'And what's that?' I asked gingerly.

When he saw his ploy had worked, he smirked. 'It's very important that you do not lie. Lying is a human habit and in such a secluded village where there has been no human interference, concealing the truth is an alien concept. I understand you are quite fond of this trait but they will know when you lie and it will confuse them. Even moreso if they see you lie to me.'

I blushed, lowering my eyes to the grass. The truth was I didn't really lie under _normal_ circumstances, only when Kazama pestered me for information that no other sane person would ask for. In addition, if I didn't lie then he'd find out how I felt about him and the prevention of that warranted all the secrecy in the world.

Kazama chuckled as he saw the mild panic on my face. 'Do not fret, kitten. You will find yourself happier being more honest with yourself, but I suppose I should warn you that they will be quite curious about you as you come from the human world. Most of the oni there have not been in contact with humans before so do not be alarmed should you find yourself interrogated about your experiences. And one last point; there is no oni that does not know of the fate of your clan, so for there to be a survivor after all these years and none other than the Yukimura princess, this is no small occasion. There will be much attention on you.'

I was kind of dazed at the notion of being the focus of our visit. In the past I had been so overwhelmed by finding out I was an oni that I'd never considered that the other clans had grieved for us upon hearing of our demise and coincidently, it had never crossed my mind just how _significant_ this was. After a decade of believing the Yukimura clan had been all but wiped out it was impossible for me to fathom the gravity of my survival to those who had believed we had been lost.

Yet here I was, the sole remaining descendant of the Yukimura clan and the daughter of its clan leader. I couldn't say I was angry with the humans for attacking my village, just… _numb_. My lack of memories had created a detachment with the event and shrouded me in protective ignorance, but it also evoked a sense of crushing guilt. How could I have forgotten them? How could I have forgotten the parents that loved me? I had never seriously questioned the reason for my lack of memories but now I wondered just why it had happened.

Why me, and not Kaoru?

'Chizuru.'

I was torn back into reality by Kazama's voice. He was regarding me rather suspiciously which meant he'd already called my name a few times.

I licked my dry lips. 'Uh… sorry. What were you saying?' I asked, inwardly imploring for him not to ask why I had zoned out. I knew Kazama was sympathetic towards my past but I could almost guarantee he didn't know what it felt like, and this was why I didn't want to tell him that sometimes the extinction of my clan caused me to suffer. I found the images of my flashbacks resurfaced at random times as if they were reminding me not to forget what happened that day. Not to forget the bloodshed.

Kazama must have known my thoughts were despondent because he didn't chastise me for my unresponsiveness. 'I was merely trying to ask if you wished to practice your powers tonight, providing you are not too tired.' He repeated, his eyes darting between each of my features.

My mood instantly lightened. 'What shall we do?' I inquired, making the mistake of establishing eye contact with him. He trapped me instantly like an insect in a spiderweb, his weary look changing into pleasure at my eagerness. 'Tonight I will teach you how to share memories. By extension, this means tonight you will show me the truth about how you saved that man, the one who gave you that bracelet. As it is quite an advanced technique I advise you be in your oni form to make it easier for you.' He instructed. I could see in the way his eyes were smouldering that he was looking forward to seeing the white-haired me again and a shiver travelled through my body as I remembered just how he'd behaved when I transformed in the past. I didn't know if I could handle his rapture tonight.

I played nervously with my fingers. 'Uh… now?' I clarified, peeking up at him. He shrugged, his eyes burning as they beheld me. 'If you wish. As soon as you're ready, we will start.'

I gave him a brief nod before skimming my eyes over to Amagiri and Shiranui. As usual they appeared curious but had retreated to their respective locations, Amagiri a few metres from the fire and Shiranui beside a tree. Even though their attention wasn't necessarily focused on me I still felt the need to turn away from them all so they wouldn't be able to see my face. There was something about people watching me while I transformed that made me nervous.

With one last glance at an extremely satisfied Kazama, I turned away from them all to face the darkness of the forest.

Now that I couldn't see them anymore I allowed the enthusiasm to surface in my expression. It had been a while since I'd fully been in my oni form and I found I was starting to miss my strange features and new senses. There was something so addictive in utilising my powers, if not for the feeling of accomplishment then for the pride. My ability to change into my oni form was tangible evidence that not only was I a quick learner but that I had the potential to become as adept as Kazama.

I flipped my hood over my head, covering my hair bun, and closed my eyes.

My power was there as soon as the darkness enveloped my sight. Slithering in the shadows and trying to hide from me, the tendrils glowed a vibrant gold. It may have gotten easier to find them but one thing I hadn't yet come to terms with was how I was actually _capable_ of doing this, of possessing this power. Even after everything Kazama and I had practiced so far there was still so much I had to learn, such as my speed and forcefields. Technically I hadn't even explored all of my telepathy yet.

Tentatively, I selected the closest string of gold I could find. It fought me adamantly but I wasn't letting go, determined that this time I would transform quicker than the last. I was resolute that tonight I would get one step closer to doing this without meditation as Kazama had told me that with practice I would no longer need to think before I changed forms.

I drew the tendril out of the pit where the others were located and close to my flesh where I could feel it burning. I pushed it to my skin and let out a small sigh as it bound to my blood and started to circulate, taking over my body. The feeling of strength was infectious as golden power gushed through every limb and changed me into something I'd once thought impossible.

However, instead of remaining blind to my transformation I opened my eyes to watch.

I was awestruck as I saw my fringe turn white and sensed my horns emerge. My skin had grown more luminous, my senses sharper, and I could now see the rays of moonlight christening the forest with gentle hues of silver and white. When my claws unsheathed entirely I raised them to touch my elfin ears with intrigue, trying to comprehend how this body could feel so natural yet so peculiar at the same time. This form no longer scared me, not in the slightest, even if it was still a source of bewilderment. I may have not understood exactly who I was yet but I was beginning to feel more and more like this body belonged to me in the same way as the other.

Eventually my cape and hair settled, signalling that it was time to turn around again.

I hesitantly flicked the hood off my head and exposed my hair to view. I had the same woozy feeling in my stomach that I always got when I knew I'd have to face Kazama. I didn't think I'd ever become accustomed to his reaction each time I assumed this form.

Taking in a deep breath, I shuffled back around to face him.

He hadn't moved an inch since I'd turned away. The lines in his forehead had smoothed out, his lips were parted ever so slightly and his eyes were blazing as he drank in the sight before him. He appeared to be as dazed as I was when I looked at _him,_ but upon seeing a blush start to creep into my cheeks he quickly gathered his wits once more.

I deflected my gaze from his just as he drew in a breath. 'Come here.'

It was often the first thing he said when he saw me in this form, and as always I obeyed.

I moved closer to his side, wishing my hair was down so I could use it to shield my face. His eyes hadn't shifted from me not even once and they only grew more delirious the closer I got. His presence kindled a perplexing sensation within my body that swallowed me whole and enveloped every inch of me, and when he reached out to touch my face it doubled its strength.

I sent him a sour glare as he slid his fingers over my cheek, but he didn't seem to notice. 'Each time I see you in this form it only solidifies that you were made for me, Chizuru. Those rose-gold eyes will be my undoing.' He purred, unaware that I could say the exact same thing about him.

I blushed crimson as it very quickly occurred to me that this time would be no different to the other times I'd transformed. He would shower me with praise until I got so embarrassed that I could barely function and then after the lesson he would continue from where he'd left off. I was flattered by his compliments but I wasn't used to being adulated like this, as I'd never really been an object of male attention in Edo or Kyoto. Even in the Shinsengumi I had been considered as a member instead of a woman, and apart from the odd remark from Okita not much attention had been shown to me.

But Kazama was different. There was no denying how I made him feel, at least physically anyway, as he'd made his intentions clear right from the beginning. No ambiguity existed around his desire for me to be his wife which was very much the opposite to Hijikata. Even after 4 years I didn't know if he still saw me as his page or as something more.

I sighed as I pulled my head out of his reach. 'Kazama-san. The lesson.' I reminded him passively, aware I was being less coy than usual but that was only because I didn't want to reinforce his obsessive behaviour. After he'd told me during our first swordfighting lesson that I encouraged his advances I was trying my hardest not to act in ways he believed were endearing; and my docility was one thing I knew made it hard for him to control himself.

He discounted my feeble order but I could my desperation amused him. 'Chizuru, I waited 5 years to finally see your oni form so I intend to seize every opportunity to admire it. You should be honoured that I find you worthy of my interest.' He sighed, echoing the words he'd spoken to me at Shimabara when I'd been disguised as a geisha.

 _I'm praising you. Be honoured._

I didn't want to feel honoured but I kind of did, knowing just how picky Kazama was with potential mates. He'd also said when I'd first transformed that I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. Had he really meant that?

When Kazama noticed I'd become marginally more complacent, he lifted his hands once more to touch me. 'Since you're so impatient to get started, I shall humour you just this once. But know there will never come a time where _this_ …' he paused, and as quick as lighting tugged the cord from my bun. My hair tumbled down my shoulders like a silver waterfall and he ran his fingers through it once before continuing '…ceases to captivate me.'

I gawped at him, my face redder than his eyes as I snatched back the cord and tried to smother down my hair.

He smirked at the astonishment on my face and brought my hands down from my head before I could tie my hair back again. 'Shall we begin now, kitten?' He suggested devilishly, dissolving all resistance in me as I stared into his glittering eyes.

I permitted him to hold my hands, but I couldn't look at him anymore. 'Fine.' I mumbled.

Before I could dwell too much on how irritating he was, he shifted so we were knee to knee. 'As always before we start, I will tell you what to expect.' He warned me, not bothering to wait for a response before he carried on. 'Exchanging memories is very similar to exchanging any other sense. First of all I will send you a memory of mine and then once you are familiar with how it feels and what to do, you can return the favour.'

Regardless of my lingering embarrassment, I was relieved to have a lesson on my oni powers again. It never got boring learning something new and it had been a while since we'd promised each other we would share our memories, me of when I saved that man and him when he saw me drunk. I was a bit nervous about what I would see but could it really be that bad? I knew I hadn't done anything too embarrassing. At least that's what I hoped.

My musings were disrupted when a strong yet gentle pressure eased over my mind.

I felt goosebumps emerge on my skin and I peered up to meet Kazama's gaze, letting him know that I'd sensed him. I closed my eyes soon after and focused on breaking down my mind barrier so he could enter my head.

After I'd located it, I gathered the dull tendrils of sustaining it. They were nowhere near as bright as the strings of power I used to activate my other oni abilities but I presumed their vibrancy would increase the more I strengthened my mind barrier. At the moment the barrier's surface was stretched as thin as glass, just enough to keep everything together but not enough to provide any resistance. It wouldn't take much for someone to break into my psyche and take whatever information they wanted.

When I pulled the power away, my mind barrier immediately deactivated.

I tensed at the vulnerability but didn't protest as Kazama's mind entered mine, initiating a telepathic link between us. Even though I felt defenceless with no barrier I couldn't deny that I was fond of being connected to him in this way. He was now free to filter through my thoughts if he saw fit but the reason why I was able to relax with him inside my head was because I trusted him. Kazama would never do that without permission especially since he'd explained it was a serious crime. Subversion, he'd called it.

 _Chizuru_.

I quelled the shudder that coursed through my body at the sound of his voice. It really was intimate to be linked to another person like this and to hear them speak without using their voice and the fact Kazama's voice was so deep and smooth made the effect on my body so much fiercer.

 _Kazama-san_ : I replied, distracted for a second by the echo my voice made in my head.

I sensed his satisfaction at hearing me say his name, which made me sigh aloud, but he didn't spend too much time residing in his contentment. _I will send you a short memory first so you can grow accustomed to what the exchange feels like. You may also send me a short memory to practice and only after I know you understand what to do will we share what we promised. I suppose I should also warn you that you might get a headache due to the nature of the exchange._

I nodded, not scared of a little pain, and kept my eyes closed even though I could sense his were open. _Ok, I'm ready_.

Once he'd gained permission I sensed him start to dig around in his own mind, his attention disappearing into the dark, ominous cloud covering his thoughts. He was in there for some time as if he was contemplating what memory to show me and I waited patiently for him to decide.

All of a sudden, I felt a small bubble of pressure seep into my head. It was the exact same sensation that I'd gotten when we'd exchanged taste in the village restaurant two weeks ago, so I wasn't confused on what it was or how to open it. I'd been able to access it the first time by touching it so I assumed that I would have to do the same thing on this occasion as well.

When I touched it lightly with my mind, the bubble of pressure unfurled.

The first thing I saw was an explosion of white light.

I gasped, recoiling physically as a sharp pain shot through my brain. Kazama held my hands tightly as the white light faded to shapes, and the shapes were filled with colour. It was the formation of one of his memories but I couldn't yet discern what it was.

 _Chizuru, the pain will fade soon_ : Kazama assured me as he sensed I was still fighting the exchange due to the aching in my head. It seemed my brain was not prepared for receiving another person's memory and I could see what Kazama had been talking about when he'd said it might hurt.

Eventually the pain did fade and the picture grew sharper, the colours more vibrant. I began to see a face, folds of what looked like blankets, and a few other things I couldn't recognise. If I had have been less determined to concentrate on what I was seeing then I would have realised I was gripping Kazama's hands tightly.

Finally the picture came together perfectly, all in an instant, and my face paled at what he'd shown me.

It was _me_.

It was me laying down on my futon in my oni form just after I'd transformed for the first time and he'd pulled my hands from my face.

I looked startled beyond all belief, still recovering from my shock. I was staring straight at him with wide, transfixed eyes and I could see my emotions strewn across my features as clear as day too; shock, fear and a mix of admiration, but even through the uncertainty on my face I could pick up on the awe. The awe I'd felt when I'd seen him for the first time with my new vision.

Suddenly, the picture started to move.

I watched as the me in the memory averted her eyes, timidly. 'Uh…' I said weakly, not knowing what to say. I remembered how embarrassed and astonished I'd been in that moment. Seeing myself from another's person's view was strange to say the least but even stranger still was how I could see what parts of me he was focusing on. His attention darted from my lips, to my hair, my horns and ears, but predominately what he focused on were my eyes.

'No! Don't look away from me.' I heard Kazama say, and the past me immediately turned back to him in shock. The unexpectedness of his command had startled me. 'Kazama-san…' I murmured, turning back away from him. Even though I was watching this memory play out instead of experiencing it myself I could still sense the heat burning in Kazama's gaze.

A pale hand came out of nowhere and forced me to look at him. My eyes widened again, my eyes starting to burn and their fibres igniting one at a time just like Kazama's did when he looked at me, and I heard him take in a breath. 'Not once in my 79 years of life have I seen such beauty.' He breathed. Even now that sentence caused goosebumps to appear on my skin and I could see that the me in his memory also appeared to have been affected by it.

My pupils grew smaller and my irises were now glowing fully, staring up at him like a startled deer as his fingers crept up to my mouth. He slipped a thumb past my lips, caressing my fangs softly as I lay helplessly beneath him. I could see the cloudiness flood my eyes as the odd sensation caused me to see stars. I recalled exactly how that had felt when he'd stroked my fangs and how I'd been able to feel his heat. It had travelled through my body like a current and set my body on fire.

Just before he could say his next line, the memory was replaced with black. The blackness of behind my eyelids.

I snapped my eyes open, already red. I was trying to decide whether I should be enthralled or embarrassed by how he'd just shown me that memory, as the exchange itself was incredible but my facial expressions had been less than discreet. No wonder he thought I was encouraging his advances.

Kazama obviously knew this too because his smirk was particularly haughty. _I would give anything for you to look at me like that again_.

I had no response for him. It was so obvious in that memory that I'd been in a trance and I couldn't even deny it. I knew if I tried to then Kazama would become even more intolerable, so I decided not to react.

I sighed, turning my face away but I could still feel him smirking. _So how do I send you a memory?_ : I asked.

He seemed to find it amusing that I had disregarded his comment but answered me anyway. _Think of what you wish to send then pass it to me in the same way that I did to you. It is similar to when we exchanged tastes_ : he explained, sliding his thumb over my hand.

I gave him a severe glance before I considered what memory I would send. I would definitely not show him something similar to what he'd shown me so instead I would choose something tame, maybe even boring, just to practice. It didn't need to be extravagant; only something that would do the job.

I pictured the time at Asuka's house when I'd done the dishes. It was a particularly bland activity but a simple one, one that should be easy to transfer without too much effort.

When I'd gathered as much of the memory as I could, I cautiously pushed it into his mind. Just like at the restaurant I felt him take the information and pry it open like a letter. It unfurled instantly and I was surprised when it surfaced in my head as well, allowing me to watch a replay of the scene in sync with what Kazama was seeing, but there was no flash of white light presumably because it was my own memory.

Washing dish after dish with my sleeves rolled up to prevent them from getting wet, I scrubbed the inside of a cup and checked to see that it was clean before I selected the next dish and began the process all over again.

I had probably only washed 4 dishes in total before the memory was cut short as that was all I'd sent to him.

When I opened my eyes he looked completely uninspired. He didn't say anything, as his dull expression let me know exactly how underwhelming such a memory had been especially when compared to the one he'd sent me.

I blushed, somewhat insulted that he was focusing on the content of my memory rather than my success at sending it. _What?_ _I did it correctly, didn't I?_ : I mumbled defensively into his head. He narrowed his eyes somewhat, but shrugged. _I suppose, but not everyone shares your peculiar fondness for household chores_ : he sighed, andI grit my teeth when I realised he was teasing me. _You told me to send a memory and I did, and I did it properly too:_ I argued, trying not to give him the reaction that he wanted but it seemed he'd already gotten it. _The only thing that_ _comforts me after having watched something so bland is that I will soon see if my wife is capable of raising the dead, although I am sceptical as to if that is what really happened._

I frowned as he highlighted his cynicism. I knew what I had seen was real and he would find that out soon too, but the only thing that was uncertain was how he would react. I just hoped that when he saw I'd resurrected someone he wouldn't become even more of a pain in trying to get me to marry him. He would most certainly believe that his position as a powerful oni made him the only man worthy of having a wife with my 'power'.

I shook my head at his distrust. _You will find out soon, I guess_ : I said, raising my eyes to catch his lips tweak up at the corners. It was an action that betrayed his amusement and it hit me that maybe he was just pretending to not believe me. _Indeed we shall, kitten. But for now maybe you would like to see_ my _memories, the ones of when you were intoxicated?_ : he purred.

I swallowed, unsure what to expect.

Most of me believed that I had done nothing too embarrassing even though I remembered virtually nothing from that night, but there was a small part that feared what he was saying was true. He'd told me some time ago that on that night I'd called him Kazama-sama and asked how many children he wanted, in addition to if he'd been with other women! Surely that was something that I would have too much dignity to ask, even if I was drunk.

As I saw he was still waiting for my answer, I nodded. _Ok_ : I said, mentally preparing myself. He gave me a very supercilious regard before he told me to close my eyes, and I did.

He retreated back into the darkness of his mind and once more started on assembling the memories he wished to share. I was getting quite nervous now as I truly didn't know what to anticipate. It was quite possible this memory would be even more embarrassing than the first one but undoubtedly more gratifying for him, because I'd noticed he seemed eager to show me as if it had caused him physical pain to keep it to himself.

When a dot of pressure manifested itself in my head I knew straight away what it was. I let it sit there for a bit, dreading what was to come, but when I sensed Kazama's impatience building I decided I would get it over and done with.

Similarly to earlier, as soon as I touched it there was a flash of white light behind my eyelids. I cringed again, trying not to release his hands to clutch at my head, but the pain didn't last as long this time and neither did the white light. Slowly the shapes began to appear and the objects started to arrange themselves meaningfully.

The white turned to colour and that in turn formed the first picture I saw; the inside of the room he'd been in. I wasn't in the scene yet but Amagiri and Shiranui were. They were watching Kazama shove away the papers that he'd used for the meeting until they both turned to look at the door. Kazama's eyes shifted as well and no sooner had they looked in the direction of the door, I swung it open.

I could feel the real me, the me watching this happen, go bright red. I was quite obviously drunk beyond all belief, barely able to stand as I clutched onto the arm of a strange man that I could immediately tell had incited Kazama's rage. I squealed Kazama's name and gave him a massive smile of relief as I sprinted inside, beginning to blabber about how I was going to keep the suspicious looking man company for a while.

With no more than a few words, Kazama sent the man scurrying.

It was in watching this scene that I noticed the memory was playing in fast-forward. I could still hear and understand all that was being said, see every expression on my face clearly, but everything was going much faster than it would in real life. This was probably a good thing though for if we were to watch the memory of that night in real time then we would be watching for a while.

After I scolded Kazama for scaring the man away, he pulled me down before him. 'Have you been _drinking_?' He asked incredulously, scrutinising the way my eyes kept on lolling back into my head. After letting out a guilty giggle, I covered my mouth with my hands as if I couldn't believe he'd thought that. 'Drinking? _Me_?' I gasped, the action causing the real me to wish I had never agreed to see this. It was torture watching myself behave like this to Kazama. So immature and… well, _drunk_.

I continued my giddy act, a giggle slipping from my mouth every few seconds, before I did something that made my cheeks pale.

I dropped myself _into his lap!_

The urge to pull my hands away from Kazama at this point was undeniable. I couldn't bear to watch this anymore, not when I could see such a sultry look on my face as I teased him for being jealous of the girls I'd been talking with. What made it worse was Kazama's reaction; he had tried to push me away a few times, warning me that I was testing his limits, and I was both humiliated and astonished that I could make him so enticed yet so desperate at the same time.

The dialogue between Kazama and I continued until I mentioned some questions I had about marrying him. I'd attracted his attention with this statement, I could feel it, but inside the real me all I could feel was dread.

One by one each memory played through my head, each more embarrassing than the last.

I was frozen as I watched my drunk-self pose the first question as to whether he would be monogamous; a question which made me feel a bit guilty. It was true I'd once assumed he would have multiple lovers given how untrustworthy he had appeared but I no longer thought that, of course. In fact I found it bizarre that I'd once believed he would be unfaithful as I'd had no evidence to support that judgement.

I also asked about whether or not I could do housework, which had earned a very strong reaction from Kazama. I didn't just want to be a wife that sat in a house and did nothing all day while those around her worked, but he last thing I wanted to do was encourage the notion of marriage by telling him I'd cook for our family if we were wed.

Crazier still was that I remembered none of this, not a single scrap of memory. It was like I was watching a dream.

When it came for the next question I instantly became anxious. I knew without hesitation that it was going to be something horrendous when I saw the me in his memory start to squirm like I was uncomfortable. I watched Kazama reach out to lift my chin and spur me to talk, his touch gentle, and I was certain that the situation couldn't get any more embarrassing until I heard the next question come from my lips.

Finally succumbing to Kazama's encouragement, I timidly lifted my eyes to meet his. 'Have you… uh… ever been with a w-woman before?'

The real me shuddered with horror. This was _not_ me. This could not be me asking him something like this.

Before I could curl up into a ball of shame, I heard the Kazama in the memory take in a short breath. 'I have.' He said, proving to me once more that he wouldn't lie no matter how inappropriate the question.

My humiliation instantly retreated after hearing those two words. Instantaneously I was overcome by a heaviness in my stomach that I couldn't explain. The knowledge that Kazama had been with other women unsettled me and filled my mind to the brim with even more questions, questions that were probably a little more unsavoury than the original. I didn't want to think too hard about it but I couldn't help but wonder how many, and who.

Humans or onis? With someone he'd loved, or someone he'd paid?

The horrible emotion that coursed through me at that thought was so sour I almost tuned out of the memory entirely which was still playing in the background of my thoughts. I didn't know which was worse in that moment; the possibility he'd slept with a lover or the possibility he'd slept with a prostitute. I'd never thought about the prospect that Kazama had been in love before but all I knew was that I was… _jealous_ , in a bizarre, twisted way. Disappointed too, if he'd paid someone for sex, even though I had no right to judge him for how he'd spent his life. It was none of my business.

But still… it hurt.

When I redirected my attention back to the memory, I had already proposed the fourth question. From what I could gather I'd asked him how many children he wanted, to which he'd replied with 'no less than 5'. I kind of liked the thought of being surrounded by so many kids as I wanted a family desperately but 5 was kind of pushing it. My clan power may have been that of healing but I was sure even my own body had a limit to how much strain it could handle.

I was still fussing over this notion when the next scene began to play, distracting me from my still-lingering jealousy.

Upon asking if I was actually thinking about accepting his proposal, I told him that I would not consider him unless he fulfilled a certain condition. Even I was intrigued by this statement as I couldn't think of what it could possibly be. At that stage I'd been even more convinced than I was now that I would never marry him so there shouldn't have been anything that could persuade me, but the expression on my face told me I'd been serious.

Time seemed to freeze as I saw myself run a hand over his after I'd taken them into my own. 'If you tell me you love me and mean it, then I'll think about it. I will only marry for love.' I murmured, but to that Kazama gave no answer.

I heard the real me gasp slightly, barely audible.

Would I _really_ consider his proposal if he told me that he loved me?

My cheeks grew hot when I fantasised about him disclosing such a thing. I'd never considered that he might eventually develop feelings for me too but I was sceptical that it would happen within the near future, as Kazama didn't seem like the type of man that would fall in love with someone so quickly.

I was still flustered by the thought when the last scene commenced. He'd laid me down on my bed, having carried me there from his room, and was lulling me to sleep with his touch exactly how he'd done the night I'd found the mouse in my room.

As my eyes eventually closed and his hand slid across my face, the memory was replaced with blackness.

I instantly opened my eyes to find a smug Kazama already observing me, ready to take advantage of my mortification. I was unable to abate the flush on my cheeks as I deflected my gaze but I also couldn't stop thinking about everything that had been said. First he'd admitted he wasn't chaste, and then I'd told him I would think about his marriage proposal if he said he loved me. I couldn't decide which of the two confessions shocked me more.

When Kazama rolled his thumbs over my hands, he regained my focus. _So, did I answer all your questions or do you have more you would like to ask?_ : he posed arrogantly, fully aware of how traumatised I was after having watched myself behave so audaciously. My lips twisted as I battled the impulse to tug my hands out of his. _You know I would never have asked any of those if I wasn't drunk_ : I argued, wishing we could just get this lesson over and done with so I wasn't forced to both see _and_ feel his satisfaction. Kazama disregarded my retort immediately. _You say that like your intoxication discredits everything you said. Unfortunately, that's not how alcohol works, Chizuru. You say nothing_ but _the truth when you're drunk, but I can't deny I'm flattered that you were thinking about our marriage all this time. And not only our marriage but the state of my innocence_ : he mocked, contradicting his first sentence by teasing me.

I screwed up my face as he brought up _that_. I didn't like feeling jealous, not only because it signified that I liked him more than I'd originally believed, but because I'd never really been a jealous person. I was unused to the emotion and it made me… edgy.

Before I could grasp what I was about to say, I had already pushed it into his head. _If what you said is true then you might already have a bunch of heirs running about the country, in which case you have no need for me anyway._

I bit my lip without delay as he rose both his eyebrows momentarily. It was getting easier for me to speak to him so lucidly and I didn't know whether to attribute that to how I'd grown more at ease with him or how he always knew what buttons to press to get me to speak my mind.

Kazama afforded me no mercy as he assumed his smirk once more. _Fortunately I am not that careless, kitten, as only a woman of your standard is worthy of carrying my child. But it sounds to me as if you're bitter and you certainly are more ill-tempered than usual tonight. Does it trouble you that I am no longer celibate?_ : he asked with a hint of true curiosity.

I recoiled from the question, ensuring I conveyed my denial irrefutably. _No, it doesn't, and I don't wish to speak about this matter anymore with you. Now if you don't mind I would like to show you my own memories so we can draw this lesson to a close_ : I ordered. I was acting so out of character but I couldn't stop myself as the envy was beginning to eat at me. Not only that but the way he spoke so nonchalantly about the issue was aggravating.

Kazama smirked, staring unyieldingly into my heated eyes. _Come now, dear wife. Your jealousy is not warranted. You should already know that you need only ask and I will give myself to you, all of myself, as long as you trust yourself to me in return._ _The amount of times I've already told you this is innumerable._

I went bright red, my anger waning to make way for humiliation. 'I'm not jealous, Kazama-san. And the amount of times I've told you I'm not your wife is _also_ innumerable!'

I only realised I'd said it aloud when Shiranui and Amagiri whirled their heads around to stare at me. I blushed a dark red, looking at them apologetically for interrupting their peaceful repose, and then hung my head in embarrassment.

Kazama was grinning smugly, proud that he'd flustered me enough to incite such an outburst. _Now that you've successfully embarrassed yourself, perhaps you would like to continue with the lesson?_ : he suggested. I sighed in exasperation, trying not to press my hand to my forehead. _That_ is _what I've been trying to do this whole time…_ : I mumbled, the frustration in my voice making Kazama's lips twist into a satisfied smile. _I'm aware, but seeing such a vexed expression on your face is too much of a temptation to pass up. But I will cease my goading for now so that you may send me your memories as I have been anticipating this for a long time. Start when you're ready, and spare no detail._

After I'd fumed briefly over his haughty demeanour, I nodded. _Very well_.

He left me alone then, his smirk receding to a blank stare as he permitted me to concentrate on gathering the memories I needed.

I was more anxious than ever as I begun amassing the scenes of my flashback. He said to spare him no detail but I'd been planning on showing him everything anyway, from the beginning of my flashback right to the end. I was a little guilty that I was revealing this secret to someone else even though my father had tried so hard to keep it unknown, but I knew I could trust Kazama. In fact he was probably the only person I would confide in enough to give this memory to apart from Sen.

When I had assembled all that I needed, I bottled it up into a thought like I'd done with the first memory I'd sent and pushed it into Kazama's consciousness.

He almost seemed to pause before he opened it as if he was preparing himself, but I didn't have time to ponder why that could have been because the memory flashed before my eyes.

The first scene was me getting out of bed after having sensed his presence in our estate. I tried to dodge the maids on the way, who were busy carrying blankets and bandages for a reason that at that time I hadn't known, and I had almost gotten to the North wing when I was stopped by my mother. I could see her raven hair and jade green eyes clearly but the rest of her features were slightly blurred. She told me off for being awake and then took me back to bed, where I had been unable to get back to sleep.

After hours of lying in bed I'd felt an irregular beat in the bracelet which had instantly filled me with worry. I recalled clearly how that had made me feel knowing that the man who the heartbeat belonged to was in danger. Reliving the memory made my own heartbeat thump against my ribs as I remembered just how stressed I'd been when it had dawned upon me that the reason everyone was acting so skittish was because they'd all known he would die.

No one had intercepted me this time and I'd eventually found him in a guest room, laying on the bed with skin so pale I was surprised I couldn't see his veins underneath. In this scene, all I could see was his body. I knew he was beautiful and that I'd taken a great liking to him but I just couldn't picture his face no matter how hard I tried. His features were blurred but I knew his hair colour was light as I recalled I'd been mesmerised by it when we'd first met.

I bandaged his wound, my hands caked with his blood, and tried to wake him to no avail. And then, I'd felt his heart stop beating.

Watching this scene made me upset. Even though I didn't know who he was, the fear of losing him had left me distraught and I found it so bizarre how I could feel so connected to a man I couldn't remember. I didn't know where he was or if he was alive and the prospect of _never_ knowing filled me with sorrow.

Kazama remained silent throughout the memory, especially when it came for the part he'd been waiting for.

We both watched in silence as the me in my memory bit into my palm, drawing blood which blazed white hot, before pressing it to the deep puncture on his chest. A tornado of gold began to form around me, sweeping everything in the room up into the air, and the sound really was unlike anything I'd ever heard as chairs slammed into walls and the glass window smashed from the force of my power.

By the time his wound had closed and the air had stilled, his eyes had opened. I couldn't remember their colour but I knew they'd been his oni eyes, and they'd been stunning. I'd been so overjoyed when he'd taken that first breath that my exhaustion had been delayed for a few seconds while I focused on his renewed heartbeats but afterwards I'd been so fatigued that blood had started to trickle from my mouth and eyes, and I'd collapsed straight into the arms of my father.

The conversation that followed was heavily distorted. I'd been so tired that I hadn't been able to focus on anything other than the joy that I'd had the power to save that man.

Just as the 7 year old me slipped into unconsciousness, the memory vanished.

When I opened my eyes cautiously Kazama appeared deep in thought. He had a slight frown on his face and wasn't looking at me, his gaze instead fixated on nothing as he processed what he'd just seen. I could tell in the way his eyes had clouded over that he was lost in contemplation after having watched a child summon the power to resurrect the dead and I couldn't deny I was nervous as to what his eventual response would be.

I swallowed, realising that I had tears on my face from having relived the trauma of the memory, and I rapidly wiped them away before I addressed him. 'Do you believe me now?'

Upon hearing me speak he raised his eyes, which were slightly narrowed. At first I thought he wasn't going to reply but he did so after a few seconds of staring at me like I was something he didn't understand. 'Indeed. It seems you were telling the truth after all. But Chizuru, I have no doubt that you don't understand the gravity of what you did. You must continue to keep this a secret lest someone decides to take advantage of you.'

I nodded, marginally stunned at how reflective Kazama seemed. He was not smug or possessive but appeared concerned for my safety which raised the question as to how rare exactly it was to possess a power like that.

I interrupted Kazama's deliberation yet again with another question. 'So… do you know anyone else that can do that?' I inquired, too distracted to realise we were speaking aloud instead of in our minds even though we were holding hands.

It took him a few more seconds than usual to reply as he remained rather pensive, and it seemed that he hadn't become aware of our lack of telepathic communication either. 'I have not heard of any onis with the power of resurrection, not in the Yukimura bloodline nor the rest of the oni clans. The closest I have seen to this is the middle power of Amagiri's niece, Kiri, who has the ability to speak with the dead but she cannot resurrect them.' He explained, still staring off into space although the disbelief on his face had begun to dissolve.

Amagiri's eyes shifted towards us as Kazama mentioned his niece but he didn't say anything.

I turned back to watch Kazama pick at the grass, one hand still in mine. 'So it _is_ rare.' I murmured almost to myself, before I continued quickly. 'But Kazama-san, when you said people would take advantage of me…. what did you mean by that? I remember my father telling me the same thing.' I said softly.

When Kazama peered up at me from the grass, I could see a twinge of sourness on his features, but it wasn't directed at me. instead at what he knew he was about to speak about.

He brushed the grass off his graceful fingers before taking my other hand back in his own. _I suppose this is the perfect opportunity to tell you the reason why we live in seclusion_ :he said, startling me when he spoke into my head. I flinched, jumping slightly as his smooth voice trickled down into my consciousness, but he carried on instantly. _Onis have lived in hiding almost ever since we first came into the world. Humans fear our power, and if they cannot harness it for their own selfish gains then they will destroy it, as they did with your clan. I will answer your original question shortly, but I wonder, Chizuru, have you been told the details of why your clan was attacked?_ : He asked me.

I frowned in thought. I'd know they'd been killed because they refused to participate in a war or something of the like, but I was unaware of the specifics.

I shook my head. _No, not really. I know they refused to join a human war_ : I said feebly, hoping that he would explain it to me, and thankfully he did. He nodded briefly, although his expression told me there was more to it than that. _You are correct, in a way. I will start my explanation from the very beginning, so bear with me as this will be a lengthy account_.

When I nodded, he begun. _There was a time many years ago that Japan was torn apart by civil war, led by warlords who wished to gain control over the country. In order to accumulate more land they expanded their territories and pushed out into the remote areas where the oni villages were located, but once they discovered that we existed and what we were capable of they refused to let us live in tranquillity. Eventually we were pushed into service under the pretence that if we participated in war then we could win our peace back, but we were mistaken. Perhaps the best example of this is the battle of Sekigahara, the battle in which my clan fell into debt with the Satsuma alliance._

He paused briefly, allowing me to process everything, before he resumed. _There were two sides in this battle, the Tokugawa of the East and the Toyotomi of the West. Your clan sided with the East, and the Kazama, Amagiri and Shiranui clans with the West. As you might already know it was your clan's side that won the battle and the Choshu and Satsuma alliances protected my clan from destruction. That is where my debt originates from. However, many years later the Choshu, Tosa, Satsuma and other alliances decided that in order to win the current war they would need to possess the power of your clan as well. They knew the Shiranui, Kazama and Amagiri clans would cooperate because we owed them a debt, but they desired to control your clan to strengthen their chances of victory. But your clan refused. After having decided they would no longer be a part of human war again your parents declined the offer and so the order was given for their elimination, as they were too powerful to be left alone. But there is a little more to it than that, Chizuru, a part which I'm certain you haven't heard._

I frowned, finding I couldn't conceal my confusion.

When he saw my perplexity, he picked up on where he'd left off. _The alliances that ordered the execution of your village were not actually the ones to carry it out, save for a few soldiers who tagged along to ensure it went to plan. Instead they employed the help of what we call '_ rancours' _, humans professionally trained in small or large-scale assassination of our kin; think of them as oni slayers. The alliances knew they would not stand a chance against your clan should they confront you themselves so they had no choice but to enlist help._

I recoiled at the news, utterly taken aback by what he'd told me.

 _Human_ oni slayers? How could humans overpower a clan full of purebloods?

' _Humans_?' I gasped, forgetting to speak telepathically. Kazama nodded, but he replied using our link. _Humans, yes… but also not quite. They are capable of crafting a tonic made from oni blood which allows them to temporarily acquire our lesser abilities. The tonic is similar to the Ochimizu but it does not entail any negative side effects such as bloodlust or insanity, however they must drink it frequently to maintain their power. This tonic is what your adoptive father Kodo tried to emulate when he made the Ochimizu but as he did not know exactly how they made it he was forced to guess its method and ingredients. This is why it had so many unpleasant effects._

My mind was overflowing with disbelief. Not only were there such thing as oni slayers, or _rancours_ as Kazama called them, but they were able to make a potion that could give them the abilities that we had. If the rancours who had wiped out my village had all drank this tonic then it was understandable how we had fallen, but still something didn't make sense. In my flashback of when my father had been killed I'd been unable to use my powers and evidently neither had my parents or they would have been more than capable of making sure Kaoru and I got to safety.

As I prepared myself to pose a question, Kazama was already waiting. _I had a flashback when we were in that burned down village of when my father died…_ I paused after that, swallowing the lump in my throat, then regained composure. _I'd been unable to use my power to save him. No one in the village could use their abilities either. Do you know why that was?_

He nodded, albeit regretfully. _The rancours responsible for your clan's demise poisoned your water source before they attacked that night. Even though your parents were suspicious as to what had disabled their powers they could not have known why that was or the consequences they would face once night fell. They were unaware at that stage that the alliances had even ordered their execution._

I lowered my head, a dull ache beginning to fester in my heart. Hearing the story of how our extinction had come about made me feel hollow and also a little… angry. My clan had not deserved to die just for refusing to engage in war and it disgusted me how the slayers had poisoned us to ensure we wouldn't be able to fight back. To make the situation worse, they used _our_ abilities against _us_ , the abilities they had stolen through drinking the tonic crafted using our blood.

Kazama's voice entered my head once more, but it was soft. _This brings me to my earlier point on why you need to keep your power a secret. The tonic they use is as powerful as the oni whose blood was used to make it. The stronger the oni, the more powerful the tonic. Purebloods are hunted by rancours for this reason and are kept as prisoners to use as ongoing sources of blood. If word of your power gets around then it will only make you a target and even moreso if they find out that you're a survivor of the Yukimura clan. And that I will not stand for._

I could feel the tears starting to burn in my eyes as Kazama's explanation drew to a close. My family really had been slaughtered over nothing more than declining the offer of war and now I discovered there were humans who would kidnap us to use our blood to gain oni abilities. I had wondered so many times why humans and onis couldn't just 'get along' but Kazama had made it clear to me now why that was unlikely at this point in time. Maybe in the future there would be peace between us but for that to occur then the humans would have to let go of their fear and greed, and we would have to learn how to trust them.

A few moments of peace passed between us before Kazama finally spoke again. _Now that you have heard some more evidence to support the vileness of the human race, you may return to your human form and Amagiri will escort you to the river where you may wash the dishes_ : he ordered, but I noticed his voice was gentle as if he was empathising with me. He must have known I was shaken from hearing about the demise of my clan and all the horrible things the humans had done to my people, and the way he was holding my hands attested to that. He was no longer gripping them as if to prevent me from pulling away but letting him rest tenderly within his.

As if he knew what I was thinking about, he sailed his thumb over my palm. _Chizuru?_

I jumped a bit, startled from my daydream. _Sorry, what?_ : I asked, watching him raise an eyebrow but he didn't tease me for it. _I told you to assume your human form and afterwards Amagiri will accompany you to the river_ : he reiterated, releasing my hands. Our mind link deteriorated and I fought back a cringe at how empty it made me feel. I was beginning to think I craved his mental touch as _well_ as his physical.

Slumping my shoulders, I sighed. I didn't really want to change back but I could feel my eyelids gluing together from fatigue, so I did what he said.

Unthreading the power from my skin, I watched in disappointment as my oni features disappeared and I was left once more in my plain human body. I wished I could stay in my oni form permanently and never go back to this one as each time I reverted I became more and more aware of how poor my human senses were and how mundane I looked with brown hair, brown eyes and dull skin.

After I dragged myself to my feet unenthusiastically, Amagiri did the same. 'Are you ready, Chizuru-sama?' He asked, picking up the sac of dirty dishes. I smiled at him, thankful for his help. 'I am. Are you sure you don't want me to…?'

'No, I am more than happy to carry them.' He interrupted with a bow, referring to the dishes. I nodded but blushed faintly as I prepared to move into the thicket and towards the river with Amagiri.

I gave Kazama a quick glance before I left, trying to ignore how he still seemed mystified by me even in this form.

* * *

The fire was all but coals now and I was tucked safely in my futon.

Today had been a pretty intense day, with all that I'd discovered not only about my drunken antics but the rarity of my power too. I was unsure if there was a limit on how long after death my powers could revive someone, as the man who gave me the bracelet had only _just_ died and yet it had almost killed me to bring him back to life. I assumed reviving someone who had been dead for any longer than a few minutes would result in my own death, lest of course I had grown more powerful with age; however, I wasn't willing to test out that theory. I didn't want to go through that ordeal again unless I had to.

I was still upset upon hearing the reason why my clan had been killed and sickened by my newfound knowledge of the rancours and what they could do. It was kind of ridiculous that in order to kill us they needed to steal our abilities, but even though the whole notion appalled me I was grateful that Kazama had shared the information.

I rolled over onto my other side to observe him.

He was a few metres away from me and facing in the opposite direction, as he always was, but still the sight of him made me feel dizzy. Even though he'd been particularly ruthless with his teasing today I couldn't help the way my heart skipped a beat when I looked at him. Laying there so peacefully he almost could have been like a normal person; but then again, I wasn't quite so sure I _wanted_ normal anymore.

Sighing aloud, I finally closed my eyes.

I thought about tomorrow and where we were going. To think this time tomorrow I would be in a proper bed in an oni village surrounded by hundreds of my kin… it was mind-blowing. I was anxious too but my hesitation came entirely from not knowing what to expect, as it had been 14 years since I'd lived in my own village and even then I couldn't remember anything about it. Kazama had warned me about what not to do, which included lying, but what if he used that against me? What if he asked me a question about my feelings when he knew I had to tell the truth? The prospect was so horribly humiliating that I was already starting to blush.

Rolling onto my back and looking at the stars, I discerned I would need all the rest I could get in order to prepare myself for tomorrow and what was to come. I was crushingly nervous now, but I was also excited.

I was _so_ excited.

I just knew that after tomorrow I would never be the same.

* * *

 **Ending note**

 **PLEASE READ, I NEED TO EXPLAIN SOMETHING**

In the anime and games, the members of Chizuru's village refused of their own will to initiate in combat when their village was attacked, which resulted in their deaths. I have changed that in this story! I found it very hard to believe that the village members could stand back and watch their kin be slaughtered and not do anything even though they were perfectly capable of using their powers, and I think that if Chizuru's and Kaoru's lives were in danger then their parents would have done everything they could to protect them even if it meant using their powers. It is for this reason that I've changed that part of the story, making it so the village was poisoned so none of them could use their powers. I just didn't think it was believable that they would refuse to use their powers even if it meant their people and their children would die, but that's just what I think.

But the rest of Kazama's explanation about the battle of Sekigahara and how his clan fell into debt was in the Hakuoki game so I didn't make that up (except for the rancours).

Anyway don't forget to vote for what you think Kazama's middle power is using the poll on my profile page. And also don't forget I have an Instagram account where I post art related to this fanfic: fleurlilas_art. I'm sorry I'm spamming you all haha


	32. City of stone

**Hey guys, new chapter has arrived yay!**

 **Also just letting you know that I will reply to all the reviews for Chap 31 (Memories) in my NEXT chapter. I had to type more than half of this chapter on my phone and I'm so over it haha, I can't deal with anymore phone typing :D wow that sounds so lazy haha**

 **I really hope you like this chapter though because it's an important one.**

 **Pls review, of course xx**

* * *

 **City of stone**

I felt the blood drain from my face as I glared up at the mountains in front of us.

They were massive, so tall that their peaks vanished into the clouds above. There was dense forest blanketing their bases but the trees disappeared about a quarter way up the mountain, exposing the harsh white rock which continued until it was swallowed by cloud. They were the largest mountains I'd ever seen and so close together that if you wished to visit a place on the other side then you would have to go around, but I was mostly surprised at their layout. I thought the mountains may have been side by side, one next to the other like a normal mountain range, but in reality they were bunched up together in a circle.

It was the perfect place to hide an oni village.

We were still on our horses, no longer following a path but weaving through the trees in single file, the gaps between them too small for us to ride side by side. Kazama appeared utterly unperturbed as did the others, and in fact they seemed to have acquired a peace about them which I presumed stemmed from knowing they were about to be reunited with their kin once more. They had all disclosed that it had been multiple years since they'd been back to their families and although those in Yamamura might not be their blood relatives, save for Kazama if his mother had originated from there, I was certain that our stay would be a source of relief for them.

Me, on the other hand…

I was about to have a heart attack.

I was sure Kazama could feel my heart pounding against his back as I clung to him from behind. The day had finally arrived where I would meet more of my kind and as excited as I was, that eagerness had made way recently for petrifying fear. I was scared I would do something wrong or embarrass myself and the subtle hostility of the forest we were travelling through only added to my hysteria. I couldn't help but keep looking around me as if something would jump out.

Almost as if Kazama knew what I was thinking about, he turned around to stare at me.

I blushed as I became aware of how tightly I'd been holding on to him. 'Sorry.' I mumbled, going to retract my hands but he pulled my arm back to wrap it around his torso. He looked like he wanted to tease me about it but he didn't, knowing that I had been clutching onto him because I was anxious. 'We are almost at the meeting point.' He said in a low voice, as if he would bring bad luck if he spoke too loud.

I tried to feign a relieved smile but I failed miserably, instead producing a grimace. 'Oh. Ok.'

Kazama watched me for a while longer before he sighed, turning back to face the front. I blushed deeper as he took off one of his riding gloves and placed his bare hand over mine, a gesture which I believed to be his attempt at comforting me, but when I sensed his mind slide over my own I discovered that hadn't been his only intention.

I closed my eyes and hesitantly removed the power from my mind barrier, glad that he wanted to talk as conversation would be a welcomed distraction. Sitting on the back of horse in silence while trudging through a gloomy forest was doing nothing for my composure and neither was the heavy silence that hung in the air. The onis had done a good job of ensuring they secured a territory that no one would feel comfortable coming into.

I threw the sparks of power back with the others and shuddered at the vulnerable feeling of openness that enveloped me. I quickly forgot about the discomfort, however, when Kazama's refreshing presence entered my head and washed over my panicked, rattled brain like cool water.

I subconsciously let out a deep breath of reprieve as I loosened my grip on his body.

When he'd sensed I'd calmed down a bit he spoke to me. _You're nervous, Chizuru._ It was a statement proving to me that he really could read me like a book, although even a blind man could have been able to see how I was feeling.

I swallowed. _Uh… just a bit. But I'm fine_ : I assured him, my eyes darting back to the forest as I swore something had moved. Kazama didn't believe me of course, as he'd just suffered through a day's worth of my angst. _You need not worry about anything, kitten. I promise that you will enjoy yourself in the week we are here and I will make sure you do not do anything wrong, as difficult as that would be anyway. Soon we will arrive at our meeting point and will be escorted to Yamamura by Hanami's cousin, Hato, who is in charge of border patrol and scouting. He is not much older than you._

I nodded, trying to act brave. _Uh, ok. So… how long will it take to get to the village?_ : I asked curiously, wondering how long I'd have to sit in suspense for until we arrived at our destination. I grew tenser as Kazama's eyes scoured our surroundings briefly as if he'd sensed something, but he replied without delay. _It will be a bit of a climb to reach Yamamura as it's almost at the summit of one of the centre mountains, but Hato will lead us through a shortcut. You might feel a little dizzy at first due to the differing air pressure but you will grow accustomed to it within the evening, just as you will to the cold as the village rests entirely above cloud level_ : he said lightly.

I acknowledged him with another nod, embarrassed yet thankful as he ran his thumb over my hand to reassure me. The heat in my cheeks served as an effective diversion to my nerves, as did the revelation that I liked it when he did things like that. They'd become more common the longer we travelled for.

Suddenly, Kazama sighed aloud. _We're here._

I flinched at the announcement and began to panic, peering all around me in an effort to find our guide but all I could see were trees, shadows and the dusting of fallen leaves below.

However, I could _feel_ someone. Someone powerful.

My skin crawled as I tried to work out where the aura was coming from but I was interrupted by Kazama. _We shall greet him before we travel the rest of the way_ : he announced, taking off his other riding glove and shoving it casually into his saddlebag. I sat frozen behind him as he dismounted in one smooth motion but I was much too frazzled to admire his grace today. I could feel the person's presence all around us and it was so addling that I didn't think twice about accepting Kazama's offer to help me down.

I placed my hand in his and swung my leg over the other side, completely oblivious to the way Kazama's eyes widened for a split second, and it was only when I slid off Yuki and into his arms that I realised what I'd done.

'What?' I mumbled defensively, embarrassed that I'd been so preoccupied that I'd allowed him to assist me in dismounting. It was the first time I'd ever done so and by the way Kazama was smirking I could tell he was pleased. 'This is how it should be every day.' He purred, unaffected as I plucked myself from his arms and gave him a fierce look.

Once I'd calmed down, my uncertainty returned full force. The forest seemed to be reacting to the person's approach, the air shifting and the trees swaying in a non-existent wind. I peered up at Kazama for reassurance even though I was still embarrassed and found he was already analysing me. He still had the spark of pleasure in his eyes from before but upon seeing the fear on my face he picked up my hand and kissed it, serving as enough of a discomfiture to divert me from how our guest had already arrived.

When I heard a footstep to my left, I whirled around to face them.

The other onis were already looking in that direction, at the young man that stood before us in dark grey pants, black boots and a cream-coloured tunic trimmed in silver. He was wearing a white hooded cape that fell to the ground and grey gloves, but his western attire wasn't was struck me first; it was his features. His short feathery hair was blinding white and purer than mine when I was in my oni form. His skin was a matching shade and verging on platinum, making his icy blue eyes appear even more eerie. He seemed to about my age and was quite obviously not human, but he was almost too angelic to be an oni.

The man who I presumed was Hato bowed deeply once we had all registered he was there. 'I am honoured to see you again after so long, Shiranui-sama, Kazama-sama, Amagiri-sama… and Yukimura-sama, I am delighted to make your acquaintance.' He said, his voice youthful despite its rich, gentle tone.

I was so captivated by him that I didn't really hear how formally he'd addressed me, but I was snapped out of my daze when I noticed that Kazama had bowed in return. The sight stunned me for a while as I'd never seen him show such respect to someone, and it conveyed the level of reverence he had for other members of his kind.

I quickly bowed too, rising with the others just as Kazama spoke. 'It is good to see you again, Hato. It's been many years.' He said almost warmly, and I just had to look up at his face to see what kind of expression he was making. It was polite and serene and I could see he'd meant what he said, but I didn't have enough time to appreciate this new expression because my thoughts were interrupted by Hato. 'Indeed, Kazama-sama. I am pleased that you all arrived safely. If we make haste then we shall reach the village before sunset and rest assured the preparations have been made for your arrival. We hope you will dine with us in the Hall once you are settled in.' He said, meeting each of our gazes in turn out of courtesy.

Kazama inclined his head, gesturing for him to take the lead. 'Then let's not delay. Lead us when you're ready.'

After Hato had wordlessly acknowledged Kazama's instruction, he gave one more short bow before he turned in the direction he'd come from.

Kazama looked down at me when Hato had released me from his eye contact. He seemed to be silently assessing whether or not I was still scared out of my wits but when I blushed slightly at our proximity he smirked. 'Let's go.' He said quietly, moving past me to mount Yuki and then holding out his hand for me to take. With once last curious glance at Hato I ruefully accepted Kazama's help just as the others hauled themselves up onto their horses too.

However, when Kazama pulled me up to sit in front of him instead of behind I spun around to look at him suspiciously.

His lips tweaked upwards at my narrowed eyes and he picked up the reins that were resting on my knees. 'You will have a better view in this position.' He promised, but somehow I was sceptical that was all there was to it. I sighed and turned back, resting my hands on the front of the saddle to hold me in place as we started to move.

Hato lead us through the forest, his cape skimming over the ground as he walked.

I couldn't help but stare at him as he trailed in front, mystified by how there was another oni in front of me. He seemed mannerly and soft-spoken which was the exact opposite of Kazama but he had a similar air of nobility to the blond haired man sitting behind me. My nerves were slowly declining now that the anticipation of our meeting was over but it only left more room in my head to stress about everything else that lay before me, like meeting Hanami and the other onis in the village. I wanted to talk to Kazama again not only for a distraction but to ask him more questions about what to expect.

I swallowed, closing my eyes as I summoned the courage to establish a link with him, before I gently placed my hand on top of his. He didn't flinch even though he must not have expected it and I quickly slid my mind over his before he assumed there was another reason for my touch.

Without a moment's hesitation he opened his mind to me, drawing my presence inside. _Ah, this is indeed a good day. First you accept my offer for help to dismount and now you're requesting a telepathic link. Are you wanting to talk because you're still nervous?_ : he purred, moving his hand from under mine to over it and threading our fingers together. I cringed as he did so, my eyes flicking from Hato to our hands. _I'm fine now_. _I was only nervous because I didn't know what to expect_ : I said, lifting my eyes back to the white haired oni who was gracefully weaving through the trees in front of us. His hair appeared to be made of silk and refracted the light exactly like Kazama's hair, and coupled with the floor-length cape he looked rather elegant.

Kazama chuckled into my head. _I have noticed you seem more at ease now, Chizuru, and you will only grow more comfortable once the night is over. As Hato said, we will dine with Hanami and her family tonight and then you may retreat to your chambers for repose._

I nodded, my spare hand indolently combing through Yuki's mane. _And what will we do tomorrow?_ : I inquired. I was unsure what recreational activities could be done in an oni villages or whether there would be things like shops and parks. I didn't even know if there was enough room in Yamamura for such structures.

I sensed Kazama's amusement at my interest. _Tomorrow we will be taken on a tour of the village and you will get to meet some more of the village members. Afterwards we will have lunch in the Hall and once that is complete you will have an opportunity to rest for a bit before your maids collect you for the festival preparations._

I frowned, wondering what he meant by the last sentence. _Maids? Why will I have maids?_ : I asked, unsure how to feel about people attending to me. Kazama had known I would ask this because his reply was instant. _I know this might come as a surprise to you after being locked up and treated like a slave for 4 years, but the reality is you are the daughter of a clan leader and therefore you will have maids because of your status._

I bit my lip at the sharpness of his tone, undoubtedly directed at the Shinsengumi, but I was humbled that I would be given special treatment due to my heritage. I'd lived the majority of my life as an ordinary citizen so I was still coming to terms with my title as clan leader and how I was technically a princess.

Neither of us had the opportunity to speak again because we had come to a sharply inclined path, winding up the mountain and disappearing into the trees. The road was thin but traversable, large enough for our horses to walk along it but steep enough to present as a challenge.

Hato indicated for us to follow him. 'We are almost at the Southern Gate. Prepare yourselves as the road from here on is steep.' He cautioned, and one after the other we followed him in single file onto the pathway.

After I'd clung onto my saddle as we began the ascent, I turned my attention back to our mind link. _We are almost already there? He said we aren't too far away from the Southern Gate_ : I asked incredulously, gripping Yuki's saddle to anchor myself in place. Kazama was also holding onto the saddle but he maintained his balance far more gracefully than I did. _Not quite. The Southern Gate is not the entrance to the village itself, but the entrance to the hidden path that will take us there. This path is not accessible to those who do not know how to find it._

I swallowed, peering down at our hands which were still intertwined. _You said you'd been here before, right? So why do we have an escort? Couldn't you remember the way to the Gate?_ : I asked, and I sensed Kazama smile wryly at my query. _I am more than capable of finding the village myself even without a prior visit but it is polite to be escorted. Whether it was Hato or I leading us to Yamamura, Hanami would have known about our approach and she would have sent a guide regardless; it's courteous._

I looked around me after he'd spoken, noting that the trees remained compacted. _Oh… so what if someone accidentally discovered the hidden path and found their way to the village?:_ I asked, and I was surprised when Kazama chuckled. _You will understand very soon as to why that is impossible, kitten._ _The hidden path cannot be 'accidentally' found._

I wondered what he meant but I already knew he wouldn't tell me if I asked, so I shifted my focus to where the path was taking us. It remained very steep and bendy so I couldn't see much into the distance but I noticed I could hear something. A very faint, continuous hum.

Before I could ask Kazama what it was, Hato paused long enough for Kazama and I to catch up to him. 'Kazama-sama, may I ask how your journey has been so far? Hanami-sama disclosed that you've been travelling already for 2 and a half months.' He said respectfully, falling into a walk beside us. I tried not to stare at him but it was rather difficult given his unique features. His tiny black pupils stood out in his pale eyes and I felt like they could see into my very soul.

Kazama seemed unruffled by them, however. 'It has been endurable, despite the few obstacles along the way but nothing has proved a significant issue. I'm just glad I have the Yukimura princess here to keep me company in my travels.' He said, doing a wonderful job at sounding genuine even though the whole purpose of his last sentence was to fluster me.

I went red as Hato shifted his gaze to my face, giving me a poised smile. 'Of course. I pray too that you have been well, Yukimura-sama? We last met as children although I doubt you remember it. You have certainly grown up a splitting image of your father.' He remarked. I gave him a polite smile in return, trying to conceal my shock at us having met before, but I forced out a response. 'I am well thank you, Hato…sama. And please call me Chizuru.' I said timidly, forcing myself to maintain eye contact with him.

He raised his hand slightly. 'In that case I will call you Chizuru-sama. I sincerely hope you enjoy your stay in Yamamura especially as this is the first time you've been to an oni village in many years. If you need anything then don't hesitant to let me know.' He said, dropping his gloved hand before bowing slightly and moving backwards to talk with Amagiri, who was next in line behind us.

I didn't have time to eavesdrop on their conversation because Kazama spoke. _Hato was present at your parents' wedding in addition to you and Kaoru's first birthday. He is only 10 years older than you_ : he explained, aware that I couldn't have recognised him. It took a moment for this to register with me. _I see… is there anyone else in Yamamura that has met me before? Do they know that I… that I've lost my memories?_ : I murmured, hoping that if there were people that knew me then they would be aware that I wouldn't remember them. I didn't even remember my own family, including my relatives in the Midori clan, and that alone was a large enough source of guilt.

Kazama used his spare hand to pull a strand of hair back behind my ears, consequently setting my face on fire. _They do, Chizuru, so no one will expect you to remember who they are. I believe you have met Hanami's uncle and aunt, Hato's parents, as they also attended your parents' wedding_ : he told me.

Hearing him say that made me wonder how many other people I'd met from other clans, but I didn't get to consider the possibility because I noticed the strange humming noise had gotten louder.

In fact, it wasn't even a humming noise… more like a dull roar, the sound of crashing water.

Hato materialised in front of us again as we approached a sharp bend in the path. 'We have arrived at the Southern Gate.' He decreed, but when I resumed searching there was not a gate in sight. All I could see around me were trees and definitely nothing resembling an entrance or passageway. However, the noise was getting louder, and I realised shortly afterwards that it was coming from around the corner.

I opened my mouth to ask Kazama what the noise was, forgetting about our telepathic link, but my unspoken question was answered as we finally came around the curve.

There was a medium sized waterfall in front of us, pouring from a high shelf of rock located on the precipice behind it. The water cascaded down the clifface and into a large pool at its base and I began to feel waves of mist settling on my skin as we grew closer. Moss grew on the rocks lining the border of the pool and also on the clifface itself, but as beautiful as it was there was one thing wrong.

It wasn't a gate.

I frowned just as Hato approached the pool, seemingly unafflicted by how close he was to falling in. He stood directly on the moss covered rocks and looked out at the waterfall, and it was then that I noticed the bottom of his cape was starting to float.

I clutched the saddle tighter, subconsciously leaning forward to see him better. _What's he doing?_ : I gasped into Kazama's head, my curiosity getting the better of me. Kazama sighed at my impatience. _Just watch. I will explain everything later_ : he ordered, so I returned my attention back to Hato.

His hair had started to float now too and the fallen leaves around him began to stir. He raised his hand softly to the water and I jumped visibly as I saw tendrils of blinding silver forming around his ankles. They spread out from his feet and started to fuse together, flattening and growing bigger until they had formed a long, rectangular shape over the water.

I was both frowning and gaping at the same time as the shape settled on the water's surface, stretching all the way from Hato's feet to the base of the waterfall.

When he placed his foot on it, I realised then what it was.

A path.

Hato took a few more steps out onto the silver walkway, turning back to face us as if he'd done nothing more impressive than count to ten. 'Follow me when you're ready.' He requested, spinning back around to face the waterfall as he began to walk across the water.

Kazama kicked Yuki into a walk and we made our way closer to the path.

When we got nearer, I peered over the side to inspect it. It was perfectly flat and rectangular, sitting firmly on the surface of the water and buzzing with a strong energy. It was partially transparent but the veins of silver in it were perfectly visible, manifestations of the power he'd employed to create the walkway. In fact it appeared to be made of the same power that I had inside me, the strings of energy I used to change into my oni form.

Finally, I couldn't take my curiosity anymore. _Kazama-san, what did he do?_ : I posed, leaning half out of my saddle so I could watch the water rippling under the path's surface. Kazama watched me carefully to make sure I wouldn't fall out of the saddle. _He merely manipulated his forcefield. It is possible to shape your forcefield into any form that you wish, and that is what Hato has done in this instance. You will also be capable of such a feat in the future._

'Really?!' I gasped, blushing as I accidentally spoke aloud.

Hato tilted his head to look at me, but he only smiled politely.

I smiled back hastily then lowered my gaze just as Kazama started to chortle. _The tornado-shaped forcefields you have seen so far such as those created by yourself are caused by unrestrained energy. This is also the type of forcefield I have used in the past to half change you into your oni form, such as when we first met at Ikedaya. However, if you are trained then you can learn how to mould it how you want. It can be used as a barrier to protect yourself or in this case as a path over water, but it also has many more uses._

I turned around to look at him, briefly unaware of how close our faces were. _Why didn't you tell me this earlier?_ : I accused. He frowned at me, obviously taken aback by my critical tone. _There are many things about your powers I haven't told you yet, not because I am neglecting your education but because there is no need for you to know at this point in time. If I told you everything now then it would only confuse you and it goes without saying that you would ask me to teach you things you aren't ready for yet. And I'm not about to suffer your pestering._

I recoiled slightly from his reproach, about to retort when he grabbed my chin and rotated my head back around to the front. 'Watch.' He said, making sure his lips were close to my ear as he spoke. I suppressed the tremor that shot through my limbs and flicked his hand off me with my spare one, although he was still holding my right hand.

We made our way across the silver pathway to approach the waterfall, all three of our horses queued behind Hato. He waited as close to the waterfall as he could without being drenched and once we had caught up to him he turned back to face the water. I wanted to ask Kazama what he was going to do and how this waterfall was related to the Southern Gate but I didn't want to be scolded so I remained patient and quiet.

When Hato's cape began to float again, new silver tendrils of energy spawned around his feet. They didn't form a path this time but instead continued to whirl around his ankles gaining speed and size before they resembled one of the tornados that Kazama had just mentioned. It wasn't as big as the ones I'd conjured but large enough for the force to tear at his clothes and whip his hair.

Just as I thought I couldn't take the suspense anymore the tendrils encapsulated him, still spinning around his body and giving the impression that he was stuck in a strange, glowing cage. They eventually knitted together exactly how they'd done for the path and trapped him inside an impermeable silver dome which possessed no holes, cracks or gaps. The energy stopped spinning and solidified like running water turning to ice, and he became completely sealed inside the shell he'd formed around himself.

I understood then what it was; a barrier, as thin as glass.

Hato moved towards the waterfall without hesitation, passing under the water with complete confidence that his shield would protect him from getting wet. The water gushed over the surface of the dome and poured off it into the pool, and I was on the edge of the saddle as he vanished completely from view.

It was when I could no longer see him that I finally chose to speak to Kazama. _Where did he go?_ : I grilled, spinning around to face him. Kazama smirked at me, an all-knowing gleam in his eyes. _To the same place we are going, dear bride. To the Southern Gate_ : he said mysteriously before gesturing to the ground.

I looked down at the silver path below us just as blue cords of light begun to twirl around Yuki's hooves. They swirled and fused together in the same way that Hato's had done and I was momentarily enthralled by their vibrancy before I realised this was the colour of Kazama's power.

I looked back at him in time to see his hair start to float slightly and a proud simper settle on his face, before the tendrils of blue rushed upwards and enveloped us just as they had done to Hato. They spun wildly around us until we were completely covered and then they began to slow down, eventually joining together to form a thin bubble around us. The barrier Kazama had made covered both us and Yuki, and I tore my gaze from it to Shiranui and Amagiri as they also activated their forcefield barriers. Amagiri's was red and Shiranui's an inkish navy, and it marked the first time I'd seen them use any of their lesser abilities except for speed and strength.

I was utterly amazed. I'd never seen anything like it before. I hadn't closed my mouth in minutes and was gaping incurably at the incredible sight I'd witnessed, a sight which didn't seem to effect the onis behind me in any way. I was almost embarrassed by my reaction to their abilities but on the other hand it was more than understandable given my human upbringing. Knowing that I was also capable of creating barriers and paths from my own energy, in addition to who knew what else, made it even more bewildering.

I redirected my attention to the where we were going as Kazama urged Yuki towards the waterfall. I wanted to ask where it lead to but I couldn't speak, especially as the water began to surge over the shield as we entered the cascade. The noise was deafening and it took me a while to realise I was gaping again but I couldn't close my mouth until we'd pushed past the falling water and to the other side.

The first thing I noticed was the darkness. We had entered into the smallest of caves, just big enough to fit us all inside with no more than 5 metres between the waterfall behind us and the back wall. For all intents and purposes it was a pretty useless cave as the water still streamed all over the floor and filled the cavern with mist, but I already knew it wasn't meant to be a sort of shelter anyway. But then again, it didn't look like a gate either. Every surface of the tiny cave was dark rock, with no crevices or doors or anything that someone could use to access a hidden path, so it appeared to be nothing more than dead end.

Hato waited for us all to enter, his eyes seeming to pierce through the darkness, and then he turned back to the wall.

When he pressed his hand to it and spoke, his voice resonated throughout the cave. 'Vír mehem nåli, Daigo.' He said, pulling his hand back up off the rock and brushing the water off his glove. My first reaction was to frown at the strange words he'd used but I recognised the last one as a Japanese male name. He'd been addressing someone, although I wasn't sure who.

Just after I'd finished analysing who it could have been directed at, I felt the ground underneath us start to shake.

I shot straight up in the saddle, ready to fling myself off Yuki and escape what felt like a mild earthquake, but Kazama quickly clamped his hand down on my arm and held me in place. He didn't explain the situation to me not even when the shaking got worse and dirt particles started to fall from the ceiling, bouncing off our forcefields barriers and landing on the wet ground.

The touch of Kazama's warm hand was the only thing that kept me sane when I saw the back wall start to split open.

It slid to the side like a normal door albeit much slower and louder, exposing the hidden path that up until now had been a mystery to me. Past the door I could see a dimly lit corridor with torches bolted to the walls, the interior made of polished and gleaming stone. At the end of the corridor was durable looking double door, but I doubted that was the entrance to Yamamura. It felt like our travel had only just began.

Once we made our way out of the small cave and into the hallway, everyone deactivated their forcefields and Hato indicated for us to follow him. 'Welcome to the Inner Sanctum. Once we emerge past the door at the end of the corridor we will be able to travel much faster as you may use your oni speed. As for now, please follow me.' He entreated, beginning to walk down the corridor towards the exit he'd just mentioned.

As soon as we had begun to move, the door slowly resealed behind us with a dull _boom_.

After having watched it close, I decided I couldn't take it anymore. _Kazama-san_ …: I said, hoping his name would be enough encouragement for him to start talking. I had so many questions that I couldn't even select one to ask first nor was I capable of forming a proper sentence anyway. I must have been as white as a sheet after witnessing something as supernatural as… well, everything I'd just seen.

Kazama chuckled, loosening his grip on my arm now that I'd settled down from the 'earthquake' scare. _Yes, Chizuru? Do you have a question or did you just want to say my name?:_ he purred. I really was not in the mood for his jesting so I disregarded his tone entirely. _What just happened? With the door and the strange language and…_ : I trailed off, feeling slightly lightheaded as I clutched onto the saddle to stop myself from sliding off.

Kazama sighed at my unsteadiness. _Hato merely requested permission to enter. The name you heard him mention, Daigo, is the Southern Gate's keeper and is charged with such a duty because his middle power is to control and manipulate earth. You will meet him at some stage as well. The language Hato spoke was the language all those in Yamamura speak and you will hear it many more times on this trip, in particular from the children as they may not have become as fluent in Japanese as their parents_ : He cautioned, staring down at the side of my paling face.

I swallowed, feeling dizzy. _Oh… so what's past that door then?_ : I queried, begging for him to just tell me because I didn't think I could deal with any more surprises today. Thankfully he'd picked up on my desperation so he humoured me. _It's a spiral ramp used to ascend to the peak of the mountain. They have developed this internal pathway because it is not wise or stealthy to travel on the outside of the mountain as it is both dangerous and physically impossible due to its gradient. Guards will be at the foot of the ramp to collect our horses and they will bring them to Yamamura for us, as it takes a long time to ascend if you do not use your oni speed. I will carry you, as always_ : he said, his satisfaction filtering through our link and making me cringe.

After less than a minute we came to the large double doors, and Hato knocked on it thrice. There was a slight pause before I heard it being unbolted from the other side and once again my stomach seized with nerves at knowing I was about to meet more onis. They seemed so different to me and it made me consider if Hato had already identified some human habits of mine. I wasn't exactly sure what human habits were but I'd been told by Kazama many times that I acted and even smelt like a human.

Slowly, the doors were pulled inwards to allow us to enter.

The first thing I noticed were two pairs of blue eyes, belonging to two young men about Hato's age. They were dressed in western attire as well but without the long white cape and had hair that was verging on more blond than white.

Upon seeing us, they hastily bowed at the waist. 'We are honoured to have such esteemed guests at our village. Please come in.' Said the one on the right, standing back up to let us enter. Kazama acknowledged them with a tilt of his head before spurring Yuki back into a walk and through the doorway, and I blushed as I felt their eyes on me. They were gazing at my face like I was some sort of strange creature and I was confused as to if that was because they knew my history and who I was, or whether it was because of something else.

I gave them both a small smile nonetheless and immediately went red as they bowed to me once more, averting their eyes as if they were unworthy of my eye contact.

As we moved past the door I became aware of the room we had entered. It was by far the biggest room I had ever seen, circular in shape and large enough to fit at least a thousand people inside. There was a huge spiral ramp coiling upwards into the air at least for a few hundred metres until it disappeared from my sight. It was wide enough to fit 2 horse-drawn carriages side by side.

My mouth fell open for the thousandth time that day as I saw just how tall it reached and I knew it must have gone up to the peak of the mountain. I couldn't see the ceiling from down here and I now understood why Kazama had said it would take so long to climb without oni speed.

I was still ogling at its height when an unfamiliar female voice cut through the silence. 'Welcome, dear guests. We are glad you have arrived safely.' The woman said, her blond hair tied into a bun at the top of her head. Her eyes were a medium azure framed by white lashes and she kept her eyes downcast as she continued. 'If you would be so kind as to dismount, I will take your horses to Yamamura so you can proceed hastily to the village. You must be tired after your lengthy travel so I would not inconvenience you by having to take your own steeds to the stables.' She said, hands folded neatly in front of her as she waited for us to oblige.

Kazama unthread our fingers, but paused before he severed the contact entirely. _Let's go, Chizuru. We are almost there:_ he said before he released my hand.

His mind withdrew from mine, causing me to inwardly groan from the crushing disappointment, and he dismounted in one smooth motion.

After his feet were firmly on the ground, he held out his hand so he could help me down. Normally I would have gotten down by myself but on this occasion I found myself in a dilemma. Would I come across as rude if I denied Kazama's help? The woman who'd just spoken in addition to Hato and the two guards by the door were watching me as if they were expecting I would concede to his aid and even Shiranui and Amagiri were looking this way after having dismounted their own horses. It appeared as if everyone was waiting for my reaction.

Resentfully giving in to the pressure, I placed my hand in Kazama's and enabled him to help me down. Sliding out of the saddle and into his warm arms, I placed my hands on his biceps as I steadied myself whilst trying not to notice the incredibly haughty snicker on his face. He would have known right from the start that I wouldn't have denied his offer for help in front of all these strangers.

I glared at him indignantly when I was sure no one was looking before I unlatched my saddlebag from Yuki and swung it over my shoulder.

The woman smiled politely as she collected our horses' reins. 'Thank you, I will take them up once you have reached the village entrance. I wish you a pleasant stay in Yamamura.' She said, bowing deeply before bringing the horses out of our way.

While Kazama secured his saddlebag to his body, I looked around. There were a few onis in the room all with blue eyes and white-blond hair and each one was staring at us like we were ghosts. I knew they weren't scared of us but maybe… in awe. Their eyes were filled with admiration but it made me feel a little uncomfortable, as I didn't want anyone to believe they were less worthy than me just because I was a clan leader.

Suddenly, a warm hand grabbed my own. 'Ready?' Kazama asked, subtly requesting permission to pick me up. I narrowed my eyes at him to communicate that I wasn't happy about what he was going to do but I allowed him to scoop me up in his arms anyway. He held me tightly to his chest, flashing me a brief grin, and then he turned to Shiranui and Amagiri. 'Let's go.' He ordered.

They nodded and vanished right in front of me, their movement too quick to even cause a blur, and Hato followed them.

When they were gone, I blushed as Kazama peered back down at me again. 'Hold on, kitten.' He advised with a haughty smile, making my heart race despite how frustrating he was today. I sighed and did what he said, holding on to his shirt and pressing my cheek to the front of his shoulder. It was so warm and comforting when he held me like this, and begrudgingly I realised I could have easily let him carry me around all the time if it wasn't for my pride.

After he'd warned me we were going to leave, the force of his speed pummelled into my body.

The world was now just a blur of dark grey with the occasional flash of orange as we passed the torches mounted on the walls. I could feel from the shift in pressure that we had started to ascend the ramp and I started on processing what was about to happen. It was now more surreal than ever that we were actually almost at the village and my mind was busy trying to visualise what it would be like, but I couldn't imagine there would be too much given its location on the top of a mountain.

But then again, I had thought sliding rock doors were impossible just before.

When my ears started to pop it signalled that we were gaining altitude quite quickly and I swallowed a few times to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling. Kazama was holding me just as tightly as he was when we'd first started to move and I allowed myself this one moment of weakness to relax against him, still clutching his shirt but softening my body in his arms. Knowing that I was already this fanatical about him even though we'd only been travelling for 2 and a half months made me want to facepalm, but the true fear came from what would happen from now on. I just knew that even after we had left the Yume clan that so many more things would occur and he would keep proving to me how he wasn't the man I'd once thought he was, although maybe his hatred of humans would always be there. However, after what he told me last night about my village and the rancours I could understand why he despised them so much, and even I remained a little sour after the news.

But even so, as long as I was friends with the Shinsengumi I could never dislike humans; at least not all of them like Kazama did, anyway.

After I saw a flash of the blue from Shiranui's hair I supposed we'd either overtaken him or reached the top, and when the world returned to normal I discovered it was the latter.

I blinked a few times to clear my watery eyes and saw there was another double door located in front of us, but this time it was made of white stone and elaborately engraved with scenes of mountains. There was a gap where the doors didn't quite meet but it allowed fresh air and light to pour in which was definitely a relief as the Inner Sanctum had no ventilation or natural light sources. I could smell from the fresh breeze just how pure the air was outside.

Kazama let me go but didn't pull his arms away until I was safely on my feet. ' _Now_ we have arrived.' He declared just as I registered that the other onis were here too. Hato was waiting for us to prepare ourselves and Amagiri and Shiranui were inspecting the engravings on the doors, something I probably would have been doing too if I hadn't have been so anxious. I felt like I needed Kazama to carry me again as my legs had begun to shake, but thankfully no one could see them because of my cape.

Hato gave us all a dazzling smile, placing a hand on the bolts of the doors. 'Welcome to Yamamura.' He said, before he hastily unlocked it and heaved it open.

The light was the first thing that struck me. I was left blinded for a few seconds as it streamed into the Sanctum and refracted off the stone walls around us, and I felt Kazama take my hand and lead me outside. I was too preoccupied with trying to recover my vision that I didn't notice him touch me but what I _did_ notice was the strange colour of the light. It was a shell pink with streaks of gold and white; the colours of the sunset.

As my vision finally adjusted, there were so many things to process that I had to stop walking.

We'd moved directly onto a massive bridge that connected us to the mountain peak directly opposite, edged by stone railing and large enough to fit 20 people standing side by side.

As I looked past my immediate surroundings I could see the entire Gin ranges stretched out in front of me, nothing but the tip of each mountain visible due to the thick pink-tinged clouds that concealed everything but their summits. The sun was blazing as it set to our left, just about to disappear below the ocean of cloud that stretched as far as I could see and the view was so mind-blowing that my fear of heights had been almost permanently suppressed.

As beautiful as it was, however, it didn't hold my attention for long.

The mountain peak in front of us that the bridge connected us to was slightly taller than the one we were on but flatter at the top, made entirely of white rock. It was quite far away but not far enough that I couldn't see the gothic-style stone cathedral sitting almost at the peak, reminding me of the castles I imagined they would have in the western world. It was surrounded by an immense dark grey wall that was tall enough to hide the courtyard that surrounded it, and it was the most beautiful building I'd ever seen. I was certain there was nothing in the whole of Japan that resembled its architecture.

As my eyes travelled downwards, I became aware of the stone houses covering every inch of remainder of the summit. They were arranged meaningfully so that streets could be placed amongst them and gardens could sit comfortably in their midst, resulting in intermittent splashes of green that coloured the otherwise baron rock. The roads were woven intelligently through the housing blocks and around the back of the mountain where I presumed more houses were located but just before the buildings stretched down to cloud level there was a colossal wall that ran the whole way around the mountain thus preventing anyone from climbing down from the village or up into it from below, as impossible as that was anyway.

Even when I sensed Kazama tugging on my hand I was unable to look away, wholly bewitched by it.

Mindlessly ignoring him, I returned my attention back to the bridge I was standing on. It wasn't an arched bridge but flat and long, which stretched all the way over to the bottom of the village. At the end of the bridge sat a huge archway carved from white stone which served as the only opening into the city and also the only exit, as intricately decorated as the cathedral.

Upon inspecting the archway more thoroughly, I started to see dots gathering around it. There were even more coming down the streets and exiting from the houses, streaming towards the end of the bridge where we would pass through. I recognised them finally as people, hundreds of them dressed in white and interacting excitedly with those around them as they waited for us to approach.

Now that I'd noticed them I realised I could actually _hear_ them, a collective drone of hundreds of talking voices carrying through the air and into my ears. Being able to hear and see them finally allowed the situation to sink in, and I was instantaneously pulled from my trance.

Kazama was already looking down at me as I raised my eyes to his to seek reassurance. 'Chizuru, let's go.' He said as he saw the light in my eyes turn back on.

I bit my lip and looked back at the village, feeling like I was about to throw up, before I let him lead me further onto the bridge and closer to the onis that had come to welcome us.

My anxiety had definitely overpowered my excitement and I held Kazama's hand tighter so if I fainted at least he would be able to pull me up again. I looked to the side and out at the ranges to distract myself, the wind whipping through my hair. When I peered over the railing all I could see was cloud in every direction, spread out underneath us like a carpet of white. Because it was so thick I couldn't see how far up we were but it really did look like an ocean with the tips of all the mountains resembling icebergs.

Kazama attracted my attention when I felt him request entry into my head, his strong yet comforting presence easing over my mind barrier. I peeked up at him just in time to catch him smirking at me but I let him inside anyway and braced myself for his voice.

The first thing I heard was a chuckle. _I take it you are impressed? You haven't shut your mouth since we walked through the doors_ : he teased lightly. I frowned but I was too transfixed to give him a proper reaction. _It's… beautiful_ : was all I could say. There were simply no words to describe the village in front of me. It was something from a dream.

He seemed pleased as he replied _. You must have seen the castle by now, the one resting just below the pinnacle of the mountain. That is Hanami's estate and the place we will be staying for the next week. We will make our way there now after greeting the village members_ : he revealed just as I grew close enough to make out their faces. They were all so beautiful and young, possessing whitish or blonde hair with eyes ranging from dark blue to light blue. The men were dressed in traditional clothing as were the women which was interesting considering Hato and the guards in the Inner Sanctum had all been wearing western attire. I could see children bouncing around the ankles of their parents and pointing to us, talking loudly in a mix of Japanese and another strange language, and there were even more people still rushing down the winding road that lead to the archway. There was at least a thousand there, if not more.

I clutched Kazama's hand a little tighter. _Is this all of them?:_ I asked, gazing out at the hundreds of onis that were awaiting us at the end of the bridge. Kazama shook his head, which I felt instead of saw. _Many of the others are on either on patrol, scouting, farming or at the estate preparing for our arrival. The population of Yamamura almost reaches 2000_ _but all will be present for the festival tomorrow night:_ he pointed out.

I was just about having a panic attack by the time I got near enough to hear the words they were saying. Some of it I could understand and some of it I couldn't, but the phrase I heard the most was in their native tongue. The kids were shouting the strange words as they pointed at me and I could hear the adults using it frequently as they talked to those around them or spoke with their children.

One little boy tugged on his mother's kimono, trying to get her attention. 'Lehen prëta! Lehen prëta!' He was squealing, and the attention was making me feel woozy. Were they calling me an outsider? A foreigner? Maybe they could already smell the human on me.

No sooner had that thought crossed my mind, we came up to the archway. Kazama had to practically yank me closer as I slowed right down out of fear and it was only made worse by how they were _reaching_ for us.

As soon as Kazama had successfully dragged me through the gate, they began to crowd around to grasp our hands and give us their greetings.

I gasped and stumbled into Kazama as tens of hands reached for me and he steadied me against his side as we were enveloped by the masses. They were calling our names, trying to get a glimpse of us or touch our skin or clothing as if we creatures they'd never seen before.

There were so many voices that I could only make out snippets of what everyone was saying.

'Kazama-sama… been so many years!'

'…exactly like your father, Yukimura-sama…'

'Welcome to Yamam… lehen prëta!'

The fragments of greeting continued to flow into my ears and I was so overwhelmed I didn't know who to reply to.

Kazama had a firm grip on my hand as he lead me through the crowd but he didn't look annoyed or irritated. Instead he appeared content, giving smiles to those who grasped at his spare hand and thanking the ones who welcomed him. He must have been used to such treatment as a clan leader which was probably why he seemed at ease with the strong reaction from the villagers. He had warned me anyway that they would be excited to see us but I didn't know it would be _this_ extreme. I had at least 30 people trying to talk to me at once and I'd never been this inundated with attention in my life.

Kazama was quick to pick up on my shock. _Do not be alarmed, kitten. It is not every day that they have visitors_ : he said, explaining why they appeared so happy to see us. They were also trying to touch him as they were me, holding onto his clothes and clutching at his spare hand.

I gulped, fighting to wipe the petrified expression off my face. _Why are they touching me like this, and what are they calling me? I don't understand_ : I asked, hoping that he knew what they were saying, and thankfully he did. _They are calling you the Lost Princess, because after all that is what you are. And they are touching you for the same reason they are touching me; because you look different to them, and also because they wish to gain your attention of course. You must realise there are some here that have never seen people with our features before let alone another clan leader._

Before I could reply, I felt a persistent tug on my cape.

When I stared down at who was pulling on my clothes I saw a small boy around 5, his hair a pale blond with dark blue eyes. He was trying to shove a small bouquet of white flowers into my hand and the gesture made my heart melt.

I smiled at him, unsure if he spoke Japanese, but I addressed him anyway. 'Oh… thank you.' I said, taking the blossoms and wishing I could pick him up when his whole face lit up as if I'd just given him a gift instead. He was too shy to talk as he let my cape go and turned around and ran back to his mother who mouthed a 'thank you'.

Kazama had watched everything play out but didn't speak, and it wasn't long before more people had come to take the place of the young boy. A group of young girls had started to fawn over me, reaching out to caress my hair and touch my skin. They were talking so quickly and enthusiastically that I couldn't understand them over the deafening noise of the village, but I heard something about how dark my hair was.

One of the girls, only about 13, grasped my arm with her fingers and beamed up at me. 'Lehen prëta, such beautiful hair. Welcome to Yamamura, your travels were well?' she asked, talking a million miles an hour. She had a thick accent and her sentences were slightly awkward so I guessed she hadn't learned fluent Japanese yet. Kazama had warned me about the children's potential lack of fluency.

I blushed at the compliment and the whole group awaited a reply with eager eyes, the outer ones ensuring no one else could get close to me. 'Uh…thanks. My travels were very well. It's nice to be here.' I stuttered, trying to sound as calm and diplomatic as Kazama but I was doing a horrendous job. The girl clutched my arm tighter, her eyes filling with admiration at my response. 'Oh, Yukimura-sama. I am glad. Of course travels were well with Kazama-sama. He is strong and handsome, no? Good companion for protection.' She asked shamelessly, completely at ease with knowing he had heard her.

Were all onis this honest? Kazama had said they couldn't lie, after all. And neither could I on this trip apparently.

I blushed profusely at her comment, confused how she could be so comfortable saying something like that when he was right there beside us. I knew I couldn't lie and I could sense Kazama was waiting cockily for my answer, and I was running out of time to respond before things got awkward.

I was only too aware of his warm hand in mine when I opened my mouth to mumble my answer. 'Uh... yeah. It's been good... travelling with Kazama-san.' I said, deliberately leaving out the part about him being handsome. It wasn't lying if I avoided the question entirely.

My face only grew redder as he gave me a sidelong glance and a sensual smile. 'I have also enjoyed your company, kitten. Nothing pleases me more than having you by my side.' He purred, making the group of girls erupt into an excited conversation that I couldn't understand. The last thing I wanted was people thinking we were more than friends, and judging by all the speculation occurring around us that was exactly what they were assuming.

As the girl heard Kazama's answer I practically saw love hearts form in her eyes, and she clung to my arm yet tighter again. 'You are both happy, then. I am glad, lehen prëta.' She said with genuine relief in her eyes, before she released my arm from her vice grip and the group was quickly replaced by the next person.

What did she mean by she was happy that we were happy? Did she think we were _dating_?

The possibility was so mortifying that I only realised we'd reached a long flight of stairs when Kazama had started to climb them. They were carved into the mountain and lead upwards to the next rock shelf above us, one step closer to Hanami. The road that we'd been walking along did eventually coil upwards to the next highest level but it would have taken a little longer to traverse because it didn't turn upwards until much further up. The stairs were a direct yet steeper route to the next rock shelf.

Kazama was radiating satisfaction as he paused his greetings to address me. _Only 5 minutes have passed and already you have managed to persuade the entire town that we are courting_ : he teased, his arrogant smile so dazzling in the fading sunlight that my frown softened for a moment. I didn't want to look away from him but I had to as I was about to trip over the stairs. _It's more your fault than mine_ : I grumbled. He chose not to respond to me with words, instead he pulled me closer to his side and smirked at me in the way I'd come to find exponentially charismatic. It was crazy how his smirk used to drive me insane but now it was just so... charming.

The villagers had followed us up the stairs in a long trail, Hato trying to keep them contained and Shiranui and Amagiri drowned by almost as many onis as Kazama and I. When I peered over my shoulder to see how they were faring, they had also been surrounded. A few men were exchanging warm greetings with Amagiri and group of young women were trying to touch Shiranui's hair, and I'd never seen him look so flustered in my life. The sight would have amused me if I hadn't have had people touching me too, almost as if I was some sort of deity.

We reached the top and crossed the road, heading up the next flight of stairs that lead to the next shelf of rock. This part of the summit was even more densely populated with houses than the last; they lined the street and all the way up the mountain to Hanami's estate. The sun had just about set now and the shadow from the cathedral-style building cast a shadow over half the mountain.

The more I focused on the Yume estate, the more anxious I became. I knew Hanami was waiting in there for our arrival but I still had no idea what to expect. Would she be a classic irresponsible 13 year old, or would she be mature and capable? Kazama had said before that her power was unparalleled so maybe that meant she really was a good clan leader, but then again I didn't know what made a good clan leader anyway. I didn't even know what they were supposed to do aside from making sure their people were protected.

When we finally came up over the last step I noticed the massive wall surrounding the estate and the heavy gates built into it. There was a large pebble path leading to the estate gates and past their bars I could see the courtyard in addition to multiple guards dressed in western attire.

As we came up to the entrance, the people crowding around us parted to allow us to approach the gates. They continued to welcome us and wish us luck but they didn't surround us anymore as Hato had instructed the guards on the other side to open the estate gates.

Once they had been heaved open, Hato turned around to look at us then stepped to the side to permit us entry. 'Please, come inside.'

I swallowed hard as Kazama lead me within, a calm expression on his face as we took our first steps into the courtyard. It was at least a few acres big and every inch of it was tiled, creating elaborate patterns on the ground. There were small gardens here and there with perfectly manicured hedges but the majority of the features were made of stone, the most interesting of which was a giant cup-shaped fireplace in the middle. It was shaped like a giant sake cup and positioned on a circular stone slab right in the centre of the courtyard. Past the strange fireplace were more gardens and pathways twisting through the hedges, and then finally the cathedral building. It had a huge door and multiple levels, every part of it constructed to perfection. It was so big that I doubted only Hanami lived there; possibly all her relatives resided inside including Hato and the aunt and uncle Kazama had mentioned.

We walked down the large pebble pathway leading to the door of the entrance, curving around the odd sake cup-shaped fireplace. I couldn't see inside of it because it was sitting on the circular platform and was therefore above my eye level but up close I remarked how big it was. It could have easily fit 3 people inside it even if they were laying down.

When we approached the steps in front of the carved stone doors, Kazama's voice invaded my worried thoughts. _I sense you are anxious again, kitten_ : he said simply, leaving his statement general to invite me to elaborate. I'd never really liked admitting how I was feeling to him but in this instance I needed the reassurance because I was nervous.

I paid no mind to the guards who were staring at me as they prepared to unlock the door. _Well... I've never met a clan leader save for you and Sen so this whole situation is quite overwhelming... I guess that's hard for you to imagine since you grew up around your people_ : I admitted, peeking up at his face just in time for him to turn to me. The last few rays of sunlight flickered in his hair before disappearing, signalling the final setting of the sun. _Don't assume I don't understand how you feel, Chizuru. A husband should always be attuned to his wife's emotions and besides, you don't exactly hide them very well. But don't be disconcerted as Hanami is just as eager to see you as everyone else. Just be yourself._

As he finished speaking, I heard the heavy grind of stone against stone; the doors opening.

Both of us mutually ended the conversation as we peered inside at the giant throne room, many metres long with arch windows and a high ceiling covered in mosaic. The floor was tiled with varying shades of grey and there were beams all the way down the long room to help support the ceiling. On either side of the room towards the back were two grey stone staircases that ascended to an upper floor, but whether or not they lead to the same place I didn't know. There was also a door right at the back wall behind the beautiful white throne that sat on a raised platform of white marble. The throne was also carved from marble and lined by soft white fur, and I would have been captivated by its beauty if it wasn't for the fact someone was sitting on it.

The figure was so tiny. I didn't know whether or not that was because we were still so far away from them but I could see it was a girl. Her hair was long enough that it rested in ropes on her lap, the glow from it so bright that it surrounded her in unearthly pale light. She was dressed in a pure white kimono and thin white gloves with a silver anklet around her ankle, her bare feet not even close to scraping the ground as she sat on the throne. Her skin was _whiter_ than snow, a shade so pale that I questioned if she was even alive, and coupled with her dainty frame she looked just like a porcelain doll.

However, when I lifted my eyes to inspect her face I realised it was covered by a fox mask.

Hato strolled into the throne room and gave a respectful bow to his younger cousin. 'Hanami-sama, may I present to you our guests. They were given a most warm welcome by the village and have agreed to dine with us tonight.' He announced to the unmoving girl sitting on the throne. I didn't even know if she could see or speak with that mask on let alone breathe.

But when Hato addressed her, the girl turned her head in our direction and slowly lowered herself off the throne. Her hair tumbled off her lap to hang by her knees in straight, long strands and they fluttered behind her softly as she began to approach us wordlessly. She was walking slowly as if she would trip over if she went too fast and as she grew closer I noticed her movements were kind of... fatigued. Her supernatural appearance and eerie silence was kind of creepy but I could feel the power rolling off her in waves. Even though I couldn't see her face I could just feel that her beauty was not of this world, and yet I knew that wasn't why she wore a mask.

But no matter how hard I thought I couldn't come up with a possible reason.

Kazama was the first to bow as she came to stand in front of us. 'We are most grateful for your hospitality, Hanami-sama. We are very much looking forward to spending the next week in Yamamura.' He said respectfully, maintaining his bow until he'd completely finished speaking. I quickly bowed too as Shiranui and Amagiri did, and when I raised I saw she was also giving a small bow in return. 'You are most welcome Kazama-sama. And Chizuru-sama, I am pleased to have you returned to your people after all these years.' She said airily, her voice almost distant but it carried with it a tone of unbridled power.

I hastily bowed again, hoping I wouldn't splutter my reply. 'Thank you, Hanami-sama.' I said with a shaky voice.

When I raised, she was right in front of me.

I gasped in shock but reeled in my fright as she suddenly took my hands into her cold ones, looking up at my face even though her eyes were covered. 'I am truly privileged to have you in my village, as we have been preparing for your arrival for almost a year now. How did you find the journey?' She asked politely, although she spoke slowly and deliberately.

I couldn't quite look at her face as there was something so unsettling about the mask she wore. 'It has been good, Hanami-sama, although I am eager to reach Ezo.' I admitted, trying not to wince as her cold hands threatened to give me frostbite, and Hanami nodded slowly. 'Of course. You must be worried for your friends, but rest assured you will reach Aomori two weeks earlier than planned. As for now please enjoy your stay.' She bid, dropping my hands.

She then moved to Kazama, leaving me wondering how it was possible that she could know when we would reach Ezo, and in fact how she had been preparing for our arrival even before I even knew I would be travelling. It had to be her powers of prophecy, without a doubt, but that meant I was only a month and a half away from finding out the truth about the fates of the Shinsengumi and it filled me with anxiety.

Hanami picked up Kazama's hands like she had mine, staring up at his face with masked eyes. 'You have done well to safely deliver the Yukimura princess back to her people, Kazama-sama. Your clan would be very proud that you are the one to carry this duty, and I am glad to finally have you back in Yamamura. It has been many years.' She stated. Kazama was unperturbed by how she knew all this and nodded. 'It is good to be back, thank you, and better yet with the Yukimura princess as my companion. It has been most enjoyable with her by my side and I am sure it will only get more interesting from here.' He said, the satisfied undertone of his words directed at me. I blushed as Hanami let his hands go, folding them neatly in front of her. 'Indeed it shall. I wish you a pleasant stay.' She said with casual lightness, dipping her head out of respect.

Once Amagiri and Shiranui had also been greeted in a similar manner, she folded her hands in front of herself before looking us over briefly. 'You must be tired, all of you. Dinner will be served in an hour but you may retreat to your rooms to wash and change before meeting everyone else in the dining hall. My cousin will show you to your rooms and then collect you for dinner.' She announced in a soft voice, lifting a delicate hand to gesture to Hato.

He nodded, his cape swishing across the glossy tiled floor as he moved. 'Indeed. Please, come with me.'

Kazama looked down at me as the order was given, grabbing my hand obnoxiously and leading me after Hato as he started to walk towards the staircase on the left. I passed Hanami as I went, noticing she was smaller than a normal 13 year old but even I could feel how wise she was, like she'd already lived a thousand years. But why _did_ she wear that mask? I was sure to ask Kazama later.

I followed him obediently as we climbed the stairs and emerged into the end of a long and wide stone corridor. It had multiple arched doors on both sides and lead all the way down to another staircase, albeit a spiral one.

Hato chatted to us politely as we approached it. 'This is the first corridor of guest bedrooms, but yours are located on the next floor. You will each be provided with a balcony, fireplace and en suite, and if you require anything then let your servants know.' He said, reminding me that I would have maids. I still wasn't sure on how I felt about that but I already knew I would barely need them. I was more than capable of taking care of myself so I would feel guilty if I burdened another person unnecessarily.

As we ascended the spiral stairs and entered the next floor, I noticed the corridor was a lot wider. The doors were a bigger and carved with beautiful scenes of nature, shaped like giant tear drops rather than rectangular. They were much taller too and spaced out which suggested the rooms inside were quite large.

After I'd taken in my surroundings I became aware that there were four other people in the hallway, 3 male and 1 female. The males were dressed in the same western attire as the guards but the embroidery on their tunics was simpler and they wore no capes. The female was wearing a pale blue kimono that matched her eyes and a similar coloured ribbon to tie her pale blonde hair back. All 4 onis remained bowed even as we came to stand in front of them.

Hato greeted them respectfully before turning to us. 'May I introduce your servants: Roto, Ajia, Seri and Yuri. Amagiri-sama, your room is this one here on the left and you will be attended to by Roto. Shiranui-sama, Ajia will direct you back down the hall to your room and help you settle in. Kazama-sama and Chizuru-sama, your rooms are at the very end of the hall and your servants Seri and Yuri shall escort you. I will return in an hour to take you to dinner.'

With that he disappeared, leaving us alone with the 4 onis in front of us. The youngest was the girl but they all looked pretty young anyway and I realised that I hadn't yet seen an oni that looked past the age of 40 _ever_. Even Amagiri appeared no older than 40.

The first one to speak was Ajia, the oldest looking one. 'We are most fortunate to have such esteemed guests in our village. Shiranui-sama, if you are ready then I will show you to your room.' He said, motioning towards a door that we'd already past. Shiranui was leaning casually against the wall but straightened as he was addressed, giving a casual nod. 'Sounds good. Catch ya later, guys.' He said informally as his servant began to walk away.

Amagiri was taken by Roto to the room directly next to us, and I got a short glimpse inside as Roto opened it with a key and stepped in. The walls and floors were stone and there was a massive arched door on the back wall that lead to a balcony, but that's all I saw before the doors were closed and Kazama and I were left alone with our own servants.

When Kazama turned from Amagiri's door back to the two onis in front, Seri was already bowing to him. 'Kazama-sama, would you be so kind as to follow me? Your room is the one right at the end of the hall.' He stipulated, stepping aside so Kazama could see the door to his room. Kazama looked down at me and smirked before he let go of my hand. 'I will see you soon, kitten. I trust you can stay out of trouble for an hour?' He goaded light-heartedly, addressing me by my pet name despite two strangers being present.

I blushed and tried to look at him as sternly as I could. 'I will, Kazama-san.' I mumbled, lowering my eyes. He subconsciously rested one hand on his katana but used the other to tilt my chin up to stare into his eyes. 'In that case I will see you soon, dear bride.'

When both of the servants' eyes widened, I panicked internally. They must have thought I actually _was_ his bride!

Before I could rectify the situation Kazama smirked and arrogantly strolled off towards his room, Seri scuttling after him with a flustered blush still tinging his pale cheeks. I was mortified that Kazama had chosen now of all times to call me his bride especially when that kind of information would spread through the village like wildfire. I already had enough people thinking we were engaged or married and I didn't need him feeding the delusion.

Yuri attracted my attention as she bowed and gave a sweet smile. 'Hello, Yukimura-sama. My name is Yuri and I will be your personal maid for the next week. If there's anything you need then please ask me, as I've been instructed to ensure you have a comfortable stay.' She murmured, her voice so timid and shy it almost rivalled mine.

I bowed back to her, earning a horrified look, but she quickly composed herself as I raised myself and spoke. 'Nice to meet you, Yuri...uh, chan. Please call me Chizuru.' I requested, which she responded with another shocked regard. It appeared as if it was almost a crime for her to call me that but I cringed every time someone called me Yukimura-sama. It seemed so... formal.

She agreed anyway but couldn't meet my eyes, gesturing down the hall. 'Very well, Ch... Chizuru-sama. If you wish I can show you to your room now? It is next to Kazama-sama's.'

I nodded, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. Of course our rooms were side by side.

Together we made our way down the hall to the very last room on the right, and Yuri pushed the door open once she had unlocked it. Just like Amagiri's room it had stone walls and floors and an arched glass door leading to the balcony. On the left side of my room was a huge western bed large enough to fit three people and on the right side was a lit fireplace next to the doorless entrance to the en suite. Scattered throughout the room were a variety of furnishings such as dressers, bookshelves and chairs, and there was a vase of fresh white flowers on my bedside table. The room was more luxurious than I could have imagined.

Yuri placed the key on the table next to the door and smiled at me coyly. 'There are clean kimonos in the cupboard and towels in the bathroom. If you require a bath then I will prepare it for you and if you wish to enter the balcony then your room key also opens the glass doors. Hato-sama will collect you for dinner soon but in the meantime you may change out of your travelling clothes. Do you need help getting into a new kimono?' She asked.

Now it was my turn to make a horrified expression. 'Uh.. no, no. It's ok.' I assured her, my cheeks ripening at the thought of another person helping me to get changed. Was it normal for that to happen in oni villages? There really were so many things I didn't understand.

Yuri bowed as I gave my answer. 'Very well, if you need me then I will be in the spare room beside you. See you soon, Chizuru-sama.' She said tentatively before letting herself out. She shut the door as she exited, leaving me in the large room alone.

I was glad to have some time to myself as I was both exhausted and overwhelmed, but the day wasn't over yet. I still had to meet the rest of Hanami's family.

Deciding I was going to explore my room, I wandered into the en suite. There were towels on the marble benches as promised and a giant bath tub with flowers and soaps on the table next to it. There was a floor length mirror straight in front of me and I cringed at my dishevelled appearance before leaving, noting that I would definitely need to bathe before going to bed tonight.

Picking up the key next to my door I unlocked the glass door leading to the balcony. It was shaped like a semi circle with thick stone railing and the view was just as beautiful as it was from the bridge. I could see the tips of the mountains stretched out before me nestled comfortably in the soft cloud. The sky was darkening now so the stars were beginning to show, and they were much clearer than they were at the base of the ranges.

As it became a little too cold I retreated into my room again and finally allowed myself to slump down on my excessively large bed.

All I wanted to do was to go to bed, but I had to admit I was eager to meet Hanami's relatives and to find out some more about Hanami. She'd been so mysterious with that fox mask on and I was dying to know what its purpose was, if anything at all. It could have just been for decoration like Kazama's neck band.

I flopped down to lay on my back, closing my eyes.

After all these weeks of waiting I was finally here in Yamamura with my own kin and now I had a chance to learn not only more about my heritage but about my culture too. Although I was happy in the human world there had always been a part of me that needed to know who I was and so far I'd met so many of my kin and seen some crazy things; things like sliding rock doors, forcefields and underground pathways. I couldn't wait to discover even more about not only my species but this village.

I was also excited for the festival tomorrow even if I would be expected to use my gift to find out the fates of the Shinsengumi. Tomorrow would determine whether or not my journey had purpose, and the thought of it _not_ was terrifying. I just had to trust they were ok, and be prepared for the consequences if they weren't. I just hoped that Kazama would be a decent enough man to refrain from being a jerk if they were indeed... gone. Surely he wasn't that sadistic to tease a grieving woman, the woman he wanted as his wife.

I stopped myself from thinking about it at that point. Whatever happened would happen and all I could do was pray that they would be safe. War was unpredictable but I was well aware of the strength of those men and knew just how much of a fight they would put up to defend themselves and their honour.

At this point in time, I just needed to focus on getting through tonight.

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Ending note

I hope you liked the chapter guys! My inspiration from how the villagers reacted to them came from my experiences in China, actually. Most of the Chinese people in less touristy places have never seen foreigners before so you have people touching you and your hair, taking pictures with you and staring at you like you're an alien. I also had little kids pointing at me and calling me a foreigner haha :D

Also the language they speak I completely made up so yolo

Hope you're pumped for the next chapters!


	33. Honesty

**alysania** \- thanks so much for the review :D I'm so happy you agreed with my decision to change the story of how Chizuru's village got slaughtered as I also thought their lack of resistance was weird... also thanks for letting me know your updated guess on Kazama's middle power. You'll find out if you're right really soon. As for your review of Ch. 32, I really appreciate your kind words about how I write :D I think you'll appreciate this newest chapter because Kazama's quite sneaky about Chizuru's inability to lie hehe. Thank you!

 **HeavenXscent** \- Thank you for the review :D one of my goals for this story was to explore Shiranui and Amagiri's characters so I'm glad you think I've done that! Personally I love writing them. And woooo Chizuru finally showed Kazama her memories! I loved writing that chapter and it sounds like everyone liked reading it too which is good. Please enjoy this newest chapter :D

 **Laknight11** \- WOW haha I might have an ego as big as Kazama's after that review! Thank you for taking the time to say how much you like my story, I really do put in a lot of effort and time! I promise that their relationship will develop quicker after this point but I didn't want to rush anything between them, I wanted it to be natural and realistic (as much as possible haha). I sincerely hope I continue to write chapters you find enjoyable, and please enjoy this new one :D

 **Guest** \- Hi there! Are you perhaps VanillaMilkshake18...? If not I'm sorry, you both say 'Chizu' and write similarly haha. Anyway thanks for the review, I'm glad you like my story! I very much agree that Hijikata and Chizuru have a weird unsuitable relationship, and I've never really shipped her with him at all. I actually didn't ship Chizuru with Kazama either until I watched the Hakuoki movies and saw how suited they were to each other. Anyway, enjoy this new chapter!

 **VanillaMilkshake18** \- heey, thanks for the reviews! I'm happy to see you analysing her dream haha. ... and Kazama's reaction to beans! I mean, given how strong he was I felt like I just had to give him a weakness. And what better weakness is there than to a harmless vegetable? Enjoy the newest chapter :D

 **Nafeesa** \- Thank you! And here you go, another chapter :D hope you enjoy it

 **Guest** \- meeerci :D et voila, il y a un autre chapitre, just pour toi ! :D jespere que tu l'aimes

* * *

 **Honesty**

I shot awake as I heard a knock on my door.

At first I had no idea where I was, but as I stared frantically around the room I began to recognise my location.

I was in Yamamura.

When I heard another impatient knock I bolted out of bed. I must have fallen asleep at some stage and therefore forgotten all about dinner. I hadn't changed yet nor had I brushed my hair so I was completely unprepared now that Hato had come to fetch me.

I hurried over to the door, already blushing as I swung it open. 'I'm sorry, I fell asl...'

I immediately stopped as I recognised who it was.

Kazama.

He smirked at how flustered I was, standing in my doorway wearing a burnt-orange haori with black embroidered birds on the sleeves and a black yukata. His normal scent was now accompanied by the smell of lemongrass and his hair seemed softer too, so I knew he'd had a bath recently. Now that he wasn't wearing a high-collared western shirt I could see his neck and some of his chest, and the creamy pallor of his skin entranced me.

He let out a sigh as I didn't speak. 'I've come to warn you to get ready as you have 10 minutes before dinner. I could tell from your heartbeat that you were sleeping.' He accused, although he appeared entertained.

I tore my eyes from his milky skin, blushing at the notion that he'd been listening to my heartbeat. 'Thanks.' I said, my hand still on the door. I was grateful he'd woken me up because I could still get ready in 10 minutes without running the risk of being late.

He leaned against my doorway and folded his arms casually. 'Then I will leave you to change. Once you're done come to my room and we shall wait for Hato together.' He ordered as he took a step back so I could close the door.

I sighed and nodded. 'Ok.' I replied, rewarding him for his beauty with one last blush before I closed the door and worked on reassembling my broken sanity.

He was so beautiful, as always. Every inch of him.

I dragged myself over to the stunning mahogany cupboard a few metres left of my bed, turning the handles on both doors and peeking inside at the contents. There was at least one kimono in every colour in addition to matching shoes, fans and jewellery. There was also a silk sleeping yukata and an arrangement of capes and gloves to help keep me warm if I ventured outside.

When it came time for me to pick a kimono, I couldn't. There were so many inside that I couldn't choose one even though I was in a hurry, but as I really began to feel the pressure of being late I snatched the one I'd seen first; a deep emerald green with a black obi and trimmings. I also pulled a black pair of shoes off the shelf but left the jewellery and fans untouched, bringing the contents over to my bed and starting to get changed.

I presumed Kazama had the same vast selection of clothes to choose from, as the haori and yukata he'd been wearing was definitely not his. He would have had the exact opposite reaction to me upon opening his cupboard and seeing all the new clothes and perhaps he'd even expected it if it was something that was always done for a clan leader. Even though he and I might have been the equivalent of royalty I still didn't feel like I was worthy of such treatment.

Tying my obi around my midsection, I smoothed down my kimono and moved into the bathroom to sort my hair out.

My reflection in the mirror stared back at me, tired and dishevelled, and it was in looking at myself that I became aware of the toll this journey had on me. Travelling for more than 2 months was no small feat and coupled with the continuous anxiety over the Shinsengumi the effects of everything had shown on my face.

Quickly sailing my brush through my tangled locks, I put my hair back into a bun and tied it with the red cord. I then washed and dried my face, pausing intermittently to gaze longingly at the bath tub. If I'd been as organised as Kazama then I could have had a bath too but I'd really needed a nap first. That might yet save me from falling asleep at dinner.

After I was ready I left my room and locked the door behind me, tucking the key in my obi before turning to Kazama's door. It was at the very end of the hall and the closest room to mine.

I approached it almost cautiously, inwardly begging for him to be reasonably civilised about how I was wearing a kimono. He had a track record of becoming not only more possessive of me when I was dressed in women's clothing but also more suggestive, and that was the last thing I needed now that I knew I had feelings for him. At least I would be able to ask him about Hanami's fox mask.

I took in a deep breath before knocking on his door.

As soon as my fist had retreated I heard the handle turn and the door opened, exposing a very satisfied Kazama. Once again his beauty hit me hard enough for my eyes to water. Each time I saw him my self-control frayed.

He pushed the door open wider as he stepped out of my way. 'Come in, kitten.' He purred, watching me like his prey as I shuffled timidly through the doorway. His eyes drilled into my body as I moved past him to examine his room which was set out exactly like mine except for the colour of the flowers on his beside table. His were blood red.

The door shut behind me with a soft _click_ and Kazama appeared by his bed, sitting down on the end of it. 'So now that you've had a chance to settle in, what do you think?' He inquired, gesturing not only to his room but to outside on the balcony.

I sat down on one of the big chairs next to his bookshelves, noticing that the seat was already warm. 'It's incredible. I could never have imagined it even if you had have described it to me... but I do have a question.' I said demurely, my eyes shifting to some books sitting on the round wooden table next to the chair. One of them was the dark blue book with the gold spine that I often saw in his bag.

I continued as I idly picked it up and flipped it open, not noticing how his whole body tensed up. 'I've been meaning to ask about the mask Hanami wears. Do you know why she hides her face?' I asked, frowning slightly as I noticed the words inside were not only handwritten but in a different language. Maybe a mix of them, actually.

Just as I turned the page to see the edge of a drawing, the book was lifted from my hands.

Kazama narrowed his eyes at me as he snapped it closed and tucked it under his arm. 'I do know, Chizuru.' He said almost curtly, causing me to avert my eyes. By the way the book was handwritten it was likely he'd been the one to write in it, which would also explain why he'd seemed so flustered when I'd started to go through it.

Was it his diary or something? If so, why did it contain so many languages?

After a few more seconds his face softened and he sat down on the matching chair beside me. 'She wears a mask to hide her eyes, as when she establishes eye contact with another person she sees their past and future. This is the same reason why she and many others onis in this village wear gloves as their powers of prophecy are triggered by touch. Hanami chose a fox mask because that is the Yume clan's crest animal.' He explained, his book resting in his lap.

I turned away from it to think more about what he'd said. She was evidently as powerful as Kazama had said to be able to see a person's entire past and future with just one look. That kind of ability sounded both intriguing and depressing as she would know exactly how long they had to live and everything bad that was to happen to them, but maybe she would be capable of altering their future too.

Sated by his answer for now, I hoped he would answer my next question. 'So... what's your clan crest then?' I posed. I knew Hanami's was a fox, Amagiri's was a snake, mine was a Sika deer and my mother's was a raven but I'd heard nothing of Kazama's.

He smirked, leaning back in his chair. 'You really are interested in getting to know me aren't you?' He teased, reaching out to twirl some of my fringe in his fingers.

I sighed. This was exactly what I feared would happen. Why couldn't he just tell me instead of making a big deal about it all the time?

I pushed his fingers away from me and scowled. 'Forget it. I'll just ask Amagiri-san because he's more cooperative than you.' I muttered ill-temperedly, shrinking away from him as he tried to touch me again.

Kazama chuckled and snatched my hand up off the armrest, intertwining our fingers. 'Forgive me for being surprised each time you ask me a question about myself, as I'm still coming to terms with how you are finally willing for us to get to know each other. You've come such a long way since we began this trip, Chizuru.' He said, eyes gleaming as he held our hands tightly together.

I blushed and gave up trying to escape from him. Everything he'd said had been right about how much I'd changed from the start of the journey; how much _we'd_ changed. I didn't know if he'd picked up on how he'd started to treat me differently too, such as in how he addressed me or touched me, as he used to be quite hostile and aggressive. He was much gentler with me now.

I shrugged, trying to feign indifference. 'Well, so have you. Although you're still quite irritating.' I mumbled the last part under my breath.

His grin was blinding as he tilted his head to one side. 'I've changed too, have I? In what way?' He pestered, ensuring I couldn't look away from him. I opened my mouth to state something smart but he shut me up with a finger to my lips. 'Remember, you can't lie to me here Chizuru, not even when we are alone. Now please continue. In what way have I changed?'

My face was redder than the roses on his bedside table. He had certainly wasted no time in taking advantage of my inability to lie here and he hadn't even spared me one evening until he was interrogating me. I didn't know how I could get out of this one.

My lips twisted unpleasantly. 'Well.' I mumbled, growing even more unenthusiastic about telling the truth. 'You're not as... unpleasant as you were before and you no longer grab me roughly or call me woman like you have for the past 4 years. But don't get too chuffed, as just as I said you are still irritating.' I insisted, tying it off with something negative to ensure his ego didn't swell too much. The best part was that I hadn't even needed to lie. He really _was_ irritating... just in a frustratingly endearing way.

Kazama's smug face returned, making me sigh aloud, and he brought my hand up to press his warm lips to my knuckles. 'Good. My charm is working then.' He spoke against my skin, sparks of pleasure shooting through my body at the sensation.

I rolled my eyes, hating how true that was, but he continued before I could scold him. 'So... now that you know me better, have I really earned myself a clean slate? Maybe it is that you find me _likeable_ now. Wouldn't that be interesting.' He noted, turning in his chair to face me more. He still had his mouth pressed to my hand, fixing me with a gaze that was verging on sultry.

Urgh, how could he be so attractive? But more importantly, why would he make me answer such a question!?

I pouted indignantly, willing to do anything so I didn't have to answer his question. 'Now you're just taking advantage of me. It's not fair that you can ignore my questions and yet expect me to answer yours.' I rebuked, sending him a sharp look so he knew I was serious.

He shrugged, impressed with how I'd managed to get out of that one. 'Then I'll make you a deal. For the next week I will answer all your questions truthfully and without hesitation if you answer mi...'

'No.' I interjected.

There was no way I was accepting something like that. That was a horrible deal as it meant I would _have_ to answer questions like the one he just asked me. Even though it would be nice for him to give me answers without prompting, it just wasn't worth the risk of him asking me how I felt about him and me having to confess.

Kazama raised his eyebrow at my quick rejection. 'It sounds like you have something to hide, kitten. If that's the case then it won't stay hidden for long, as I have my ways of exposing the truth.' He warned.

I didn't doubt that he meant what he said but what he _didn't_ know was that I had my own ways of keeping things _secret_. And I'd do anything to guard my feelings for him.

Anything.

He smirked as I said nothing. 'But very well. I suppose I should answer your question, on this occasion.' He capitulated, dropping my hand from his mouth but still holding it firmly in his. 'My clan crest is the dragon. Strong and proud, there is no better creature to represent my clan.' He finished arrogantly, and he was right. I couldn't have picked a better suited crest as it was undeniably fitting for a man who could wield fire _and_ who was that conceited.

I glared at him briefly before responding. 'I see... what about the other clans then?' I asked, pushing my luck.

He grinned at me before smirking, my hand still secured in his as he leaned back in his chair again. 'The Nagumo clan crest is a bear, the Shinobi's is a tiger, the Shiranui's is a bat and the Hoshi clan crest is an owl. Any more questions, kitten?' He provoked, raising an eyebrow. I quickly shook my head, satisfied for the time being. I hoped one day he would be as willing to answer my questions as he was just then.

Before either of us could say a thing more, we heard a soft knock.

Kazama and I exchanged a glance before he vanished from the chair and appeared by the door.

Hato bowed as he opened it. 'Good evening, Kazama-sama. Are you and Chizuru-sama ready for dinner?' He asked as I stood up from my chair as Kazama nodded. 'Indeed, Hato. We are ready.' He replied, holding out his hand for me to take once I'd approached him. I gave him a horrified look but felt Hato's attention on me so I had no choice but to give in to Kazama's gesture.

His eyes lit up briefly as his offer was accepted, and his lips twisted into a haughty smile. I could see exactly what he wanted to say to me but he restrained himself in front of Hato, turning back to him to communicate we were ready to go.

We left Kazama's room and emerged into the hall where Shiranui and Amagiri were already waiting, but before we could progress down the hall I had to pause and stare at the peculiar sight in front of me.

Shiranui was wearing a haori and yukata.

When he saw me staring, he seemed underwhelmed by my attention. 'What?' He grumbled self-consciously, about as uncomfortable wearing a haori and yukata as I was in a kimono.

I closed my gaping mouth, eyes trailing over the navy fabric. 'Uh... nothing. It suits you.' I admitted, smiling reassuringly to mitigate his discomfort. It really did suit him. I never thought I'd see the day where Shiranui dressed in traditional clothing.

He mumbled a thanks, and I bit back a sheepish smile as I realised he was beginning to blush ever so vaguely. It was so unexpected yet somewhat adorable, and the only person I wanted to see blush more than Shiranui was Kazama.

Hato tried to hide his amusement as he resumed taking us to dinner, his cape billowing out behind him as he walked. A humiliated Shiranui trudged along behind Amagiri, Kazama and I as we were taken down the end of the corridor to the staircase we'd come up earlier.

My hand was still trapped inside Kazama's but I didn't fight him. I secretly enjoyed holding his hand, especially when he occasionally brushed his thumb over it to acknowledge we were linked, and it was times like this where it felt like we really were together. The thought made me feel strangely warm inside.

 _He_ made me feel warm inside, a heat that reached my heart, and it was only getting more intense as time went on.

We descended the stairs and walked towards the end of the hallway to the next flight of stairs, the ones that lead down to the throne room. It was just as beautiful as I remembered it being, the arched windows made of stained glass just like a real cathedral, but this time there was no one on the throne. It sat on its raised platform and glimmered in the torchlight, commanding all attention until we'd snaked past it to the giant doors behind.

Hato paused in front of the door. 'This is the Hall, where the royal family has their meals and entertains their guests. Food will be served shortly after you are all seated.' He revealed, bringing attention to how hungry I was but also reminding me that I would be meeting new people.

I fiddled compulsively with my kimono as Hato pushed the door open and indicated for us to enter.

As soon as we walked in, the people sitting on the long dining table in the centre of the room turned to face us. Hanami was at the head of the table, and to her left were 4 empty seats. All of the other chairs apart from the one to her right were filled and all eyes were on us.

Hato bowed as he moved past us. 'Everyone, please welcome Shiranui-sama, Kazama-sama, Amagiri-sama and lastly, Chizuru-sama.' He announced, as everyone stood up as we entered.

Hanami raised herself too, dressed in the white kimono she'd been in earlier and the same fox mask which concealed her features. 'I am pleased you could all make it. Food will be served soon but for now please make yourselves comfortable and we shall begin the introductions.' She advised, remaining on her feet until we had all found our places.

Hato took the seat to her right and Shiranui the one to her left, with Amagiri, Kazama and I assuming the last 3 empty chairs.

I was sitting next to a young girl who looked to be my age, with white hair and eyes the colour of Hato's. She was clothed in a pale pink kimono and her hair was tied up in an elaborate bun threaded with pearls, and she was so beautiful that even I was overcome by her. She appeared almost beside herself with desperation to talk to me, but before she could introduce herself there was another voice across from us.

The woman in her late 30's clasped her hands gracefully in front of her chest. 'How lucky we are to have all of you here in Yamamura, and even the precious Yukimura princess.' She started, giving me a warm smile. 'I am Nanami, Hanami's grandmother on her father's side and this is my husband Akita. Next to us are Hanami's other grandparents, Keiko and Ran.' She said as the people she'd mentioned gave a shallow seated bow.

Keiko also looked no older than in her late 30's. 'Indeed, we are privileged to have you here. We have been most excited about your arrival in Yamamura and Ran and I sincerely wish you all a lovely stay.' She said genuinely.

I smiled politely at them as they rose from their bow, just in time for the next person to start talking.

The man beside them also appeared to be accompanied by his partner, and he looked like a slightly older version of Hato. 'My name is Hiroki and this is my wife Fei. We are Hanami's aunt and uncle and these are our twins Hato and Yui. We're also the parents of this little rascal.' He chucked, ruffling the hair of a young boy no older than 8.

He giggled at his father's action, patting down his hair as he gave us a toothy grin. 'I'm Tsuki.' He said, shyly lowering his eyes as he felt everyone's attention on him.

There was a small round of laughter before the people next to Tsuki introduced themselves. 'And we are Hanami's other aunt and uncle. I am Shou and this is my wife Koko, and here is our daughter Shinku and our son Riku.' Shou said, pointing to the 5 year old girl sitting next to Yui, the girl in the pink kimono, and then holding up the toddler in his lap. Riku had his fist in his mouth and was drooling profusely but it was so adorable that it took all of my might not to reach across and pick him up.

Once we'd acknowledged everyone's introductions, Hanami readdressed us. 'Now that everyone has been announced, please spend this time getting to know each other. Dinner will be brought out very shortly.' She bid, sinking back into her chair just as Kazama's thumb slid over mine to remind me he was there.

No sooner had Hanami sat back down did I felt a cold hand press to my own.

When I turned to my left, Yui was already beaming at me. Her bright eyes were filled with awe and she gripped my hand tighter as I looked at her, her smile spread from ear to ear. I was flattered that someone could be so glad to meet me, but then again I was probably a miracle to them, treasured as the last of my clan. I kept forgetting all these people thought I'd been dead.

Eventually Yui couldn't hold herself back. 'Oh, Yukimura-sama. It is so good to see you. The last time we met was when you were a baby.' She sighed wistfully, turning her whole body to face me.

I recalled that Yui and Hato were twins, so she would have been with Hato when he and his parents had come to my first birthday.

I smiled, once again wincing at my formal title. 'Please, Yui-san, Chizuru is just fine. And thank you for welcoming me here.' I said earnestly.

Yui appeared shocked at the request but dipped her head in acknowledgement. 'As you wish, Chizuru-sama. I really am so excited that you're here with us, as not only will I have another friend but someone who has been in the human world! Hanami-sama said you've been living amongst them since you were 7. Is that true?' She blabbered, eyes wide like she was saying something terrifying.

I nodded to confirm her statement, remaking how intrigued yet uneasy she became upon mentioning humans. 'It is. I lived in Edo for the majority of my life so this is the first oni village I've been to since my own.' I admitted shyly, blushing as she grew closer to me like I was telling a suspenseful story. She seemed wholly invested in every word I had to say, but she sobered after my last sentence.

A sad expression came over her face and she lowered her eyes. 'Oh yes, it must be hard for you to live a life without your clan, and maybe even more so given you have lost your memories as well. But I know you are not alone as I've heard you are familiar with Sen-hime, and you have Kazama-sama as your companion too. It must be a great reassurance that he is with you on such a journey.' She sighed, offering me a hopeful smile.

I instantly went red. What was with everyone asking about Kazama?

I resisted the urge to spin around and glare at him when his hand squeezed mine, letting me know he was listening. 'Yes, that is true. Osen-chan is my best friend and Kazama has indeed been... _useful_ on this trip.' I said, deliberately selecting an unflattering adjective to describe him.

I sensed his amusement at my choice of words as Yui responded. 'Oh how wonderful, lehen prëta. I think I would find it quite agreeable to go on such a journey myself, despite the dangers. I get the feeling that many exciting things have already happened and yet more are awaiting, both good and bad, but there is nothing to worry about. You will be fine of course.' She prophesised, patting my hand.

I didn't know what to say as I was unsure if she'd just used her clan power to predict the future of the journey. She'd said both good and bad things were going to happen and even though she'd assured I would be ok, it worried me to think of what could go wrong.

Would everyone _else_ be ok? What if something happened to Amagiri or Shiranui? Or the Shinsengumi?

Or maybe Kazama.

I swallowed, unaware my shoulders had slouched until Yui's chirpy voice entered my ears. 'Anyway, it must be nice for you to be off the road and back in a village. Although our village is not as beautiful as some of the others it surely has its own charm. Do you like it so far?' She asked, awaiting a favourable response, which I gave her. 'It's truly beautiful, Yui-san. I've never seen another place like it and the estate it really stunning. Do you know when it was built?' I asked curiously, doing my best to maintain conversation.

Yui was over the moon as I asked her a question. 'The original foundation was built thousands of years ago, but more was added to it as the town and population grew. It's looked like this for about 300 years now, but maybe in the future it will be modified again.' She speculated, and I momentarily looked around at the dark stone walls. 'Well it really is beautiful.' I said, almost to myself.

Yui appeared so proud that her cheeks were going pink, but she changed the topic. 'Chizuru-sama, forgive me if this is out of place but can you tell me a bit more about humans? I understand you are on your way to find some.' She almost whispered as if the what she'd asked was scandalous.

I opened my mouth to respond but I didn't know what to tell her. How could I say they were good people? Sure, there were those that were greedy but even Kazama had mentioned onis had fought for power before too.

I frowned a bit, thinking over my answer carefully because I knew Kazama was listening. 'Humans are a bit like... apples.' I said cautiously, earning an enthralled but confused look from Yui before I resumed. 'You can get good ones and you can get bad ones, but even the humans who are a bit rotten can still be ok if you look past the bruising to the goodness beneath. My friends are good people too despite their flaws. They looked after me for years while I was searching for Kodo my adoptive father.'

Yui's lips were parted slightly and her eyes were larger than the dinner plates in front of us. 'So they protected you then? Humans protected an oni?' She gasped incredulously, to which I bit my lip. 'Uh... well, they didn't know I was an oni for most of that time. And neither did I, actually. When I lost my memories I lost all of them... even who I was.' I murmured sombrely, blushing as I realised how deep this conversation had gotten.

Yui only became even more astounded as I finished speaking. 'You didn't know you were an oni? Really? Then how did you find out?'

I froze at the question, wondering what I should say. It had been Kazama who had shown me my form for the first time at Ikedaya, and then again when he came to the Shinsengumi headquarters to kidnap me one night. Thinking about those times filled me with a mix of fear and confusion. I'd been so scared; of myself, of him, of what someone so powerful could do to the Shinsengumi. Being reminded of that just solidified how much my opinion of him had changed because I no longer held that fear.

I swallowed, deflecting my eyes briefly from Yui's intense ones. 'Kazama-san showed me.' I mumbled, even more aware that we were holding hands.

Yui seemed relieved, surprisingly. 'How fortunate that you were shown who you were after so long. So you went with Kazama-sama then after he told you that you were an oni like him? Did you remember who he was when you saw him?' She asked, my hand still in hers.

I recoiled a bit, unsure of what she'd meant. Why would I have remembered him?

I frowned, cocking my head to one side. 'Remember him? From where?' I asked inquisitively, growing even more suspicious as Yui started to frown too.

Was there something I was missing?

Just as she went to answer, Kazama's hand tightened around mine.

'Chizuru.'

I rotated to face him, a neutral expression on his face. He appeared calm despite the tension in his voice but his interruption made me question what Yui had said. Had he known me before Ikedaya? Surely he would have told me by now and Kazama wasn't the type of person to hide something like that from me. I trusted him, and he would never betray that trust.

'What?' I asked as his face softened slightly.

He instantly gestured to the dining table we were sitting at, which was now covered in food. I'd been so wrapped up in conversation that I hadn't noticed dinner had been served.

I forgot all about my confusion as I laid eyes on the feast before me. There was all kinds of meats, seafood, rice and noodles, and the smell was divine. As my eyes shifted from meal to meal and all I wanted to do was try _everything_.

Having successfully distracted me, Kazama motioned for me to serve myself. 'I suppose you're hungry, as always, kitten.' He teased, his bowl already in his hand.

I narrowed my eyes at his comment and plucked my hand from his, disappointed at the absence of his warmth but consoled by the thought of food.

Kazama smirked and got started on spooning food into his bowl, waiting patiently for one of the kitchen girls to bring around his sake.

Now that I was paying attention to my surroundings I noticed there were quite a few servants around, at least 10. They were bringing in more food, drinks, alcohol and crockery, and the teenage girl carrying bottles of sake was being eyed by Kazama.

I turned back to my bowl and started to shovel into it everything within range. I hadn't eaten since lunch so I was starving to death and I also hadn't eaten meat in 2 weeks, so I made sure I sampled everything available; pork, chicken, lamb and fish. I was determined that by the end of the night nothing would be left unsampled.

By the time the servant carrying sake had come around, Kazama was practically twitching.

He waited for her to place the bottle in front of him but stopped her before she poured it into his cup. 'That is not necessary, little one. Chizuru shall pour my sake.' He said passively, placing his hand over the cup. The girl bowed and placed the sake back down. 'Very well, Kazama-sama.' She said politely before moving on to Amagiri and Shiranui.

I frowned at him, unsure whether to be shocked that he'd once again assumed I'd pour his sake, or that he'd spoken the servant so politely. Kazama was acting so odd in this village... or maybe he was acting normal, now that he was with his people. Maybe the human world just made him edgy and frustrated and this was who he _really_ was.

When he rotated to look at me expectantly, I sighed but didn't protest. 'Honestly, are your arms painted on?' I muttered as I picked up the bottle and poured some clear liquid into his cup.

He chuckled at my complaint, waiting until I'd set the bottle down before softly lifting my chin with his fingers. 'No, but this is what a wife would do for her husband, Chizuru. I'm merely training you for marriage.' He said simply, his comment making every servant in the room whirl around to gape at us with wide eyes.

I frantically pushed his hand away, noting even Hanami was looking over curiously. 'Kazama-san.' I hissed, my face growing hot. 'I don't...'

 _...want to be your wife_.

Those were the words I wanted to say, the words I normally would have said. But on this occasion I was stopped by the voice in my head that was telling me that was more or less a lie now, and I knew I couldn't lie here. Maybe once it had been true but...

Now I wasn't sure.

I lowered my eyes, knowing I had to finish my sentence before it became awkward. 'Uh... I don't need to be trained for marriage.' I finished, aware that he would tease me for such a statement but it was better than lying in this instance.

Kazama seemed intrigued by my remark. 'Is that so? Well, in that case we shouldn't delay then. The sooner you and I are wed the better anyway.' He said mischievously, chuckling at the displeased expression on my face. I was so embarrassed he'd said that in front of all these people knowing that they might have thought he was telling the truth, and judging by the way Yui was practically bouncing in her seat I could tell she definitely believed there was a wedding approaching.

I ignored him and faced the table, picking up my chopsticks and beginning to eat. I consumed the rest of my meal in an unpleasant mood, tuning into everyone else's conversation as they shifted their focus from what Kazama and I were saying. Topics were light and joyous, some of which were about how happy they were to have visitors, and sometimes they turned to include us in conversation.

When I finished my bowl and went back for seconds, I was still annoyed with Kazama. He would have known that talking about marriage with me would have lead others to believe we were courting or engaged when in reality we weren't. _He_ may have been able to deal with the repercussions of that, such as people interrogating him about our relationship, but I couldn't. There was no relationship to ask questions about so his behaviour was just creating a sticky situation.

After I'd gathered more food, Yui pressed her hand to mine again. 'Chizuru-sama, do you mind continuing your story? From when Kazama showed you that you were an oni?' She pleaded, pale blue eyes brimming with eagerness.

Even though I didn't really want to speak about Kazama, I couldn't resist Yui's puppy dog eyes. 'Sure...' I said, wiping my mouth. 'Uh, so yeah. Kazama-san used his forcefield to show me I was an oni when we met at an inn. I was there with my friends who were in charge of patrolling Kyoto for ronin.' I explained, heavily simplifying the situation. There had been much more to it than that but I didn't want to confuse her.

Yui seemed content with my explanation. 'And then what? You went with Kazama-sama?' She gasped, on the edge of her seat.

I bit my lip, wondering how I would put this, but I decided I had to be honest. 'Not quite. Kazama-san was...' I paused, aware that the word I was going to say would irritate him. '... a bit of a jerk at that stage, so I stayed with the humans for a few more years before the war started and my friends disappeared. Coincidently Kazama was also going to Ezo so I chose to accompany him, and that is how we are here today.' I said quietly, hoping futilely that Kazama hadn't heard but I could tell that he had. Besides, in that moment I felt like he deserved such a title.

Yui's mouth fell open, but before she could speak Kazama turned his head to look at me. 'It wasn't all bad, kitten. How ironic that you forgot to mention that we went on a _date_ a year ago.' He said, irked that I was tainting his image by saying he was a jerk.

I blushed as Yui gawked, patting my knee rapidly as if to encourage me to elaborate. 'A _date_ , Chizuru-sama? Was it good? What did you do?' She asked, squirming in her chair. I was beginning to think this kind of gossip was highly valued in oni villages.

I grit my teeth as Kazama's irritated look morphed into a smirk as he awaited my answer. 'We spent the evening together on New Year's. We had some food and played a game then... uh, watched the release of the lanterns from a nearby mountain.' I mumbled, becoming even more embarrassed as Yui's smile grew wider.

She sighed longingly as she placed a hand on her chest. 'It sounds perfect, Chizuru-sama. It must have been beautiful to watch those lanterns. Did you like it? Was it romantic?' She asked dreamily, leaning yet closer to me again.

I was mortified that she expected me to answer those questions, and I knew I had to tell the truth which made it worse. I _had_ really liked it and it _had_ been romantic but how could I say that when Kazama was so obviously listening?

I gulped, unable to look at either of them. 'It was nice.' I said simply, dodging around the question but giving an answer that I hoped would be satisfactory; and it was for Yui.

But not for Kazama.

He chucked and picked my hand up, causing me to turn my back to Yui. 'Only _nice_ , kitten? I worked hard on finding that rock shelf, the one we sat on to watch the lanterns, and I _did_ intend for it to be intimate. So I wish to know too... did you find it romantic?' He asked innocently but I could see the irrepressible pleasure in his ruby eyes.

My lips pressed into a flat line. He was bubbling with mirth at watching me squirm from knowing I had to tell the truth and he knew he had me cornered. I swore to myself that after this night I wouldn't speak to him until we'd left Yamamura.

I unclenched my jaws to force out my reply. 'Yes, it was romantic.' I almost growled, pulling my hand from his abruptly.

I was so angry at him for taking advantage of my inability to lie in front of all of these people, the people who had been listening overtly to our conversation. By the looks on their faces I detected that they knew he was playing with me but they also knew there was some truth to his words too.

He straightened in his chair, assuming a dignified expression. 'I'm pleased to hear you thought so; after all, that had been my intention.' He purred, brushing his hand over mine briefly.

Casting him a dark glare, I severed all contact between us and resumed eating the food going cold in my bowl. He left me alone then, smirking once more before he commenced talking with Hiroki and Fei who had asked him a question about the journey.

Yui observed me softly as I ate, a sweet smile on her face. I was so embarrassed that Kazama had made me talk about our date but she'd acted rather enthralled by it which made me wonder if it was socially acceptable to talk about such things here. Everyone seemed invested in Kazama and I, even the villagers that had greeted us earlier, so maybe to them there was nothing shameful about openly discussing relationships. Perhaps their openness was just cultural.

When I could truly eat no more, I pushed my bowl away from me and sighed. Now that I was fed all I wanted to do was go to bed. I felt like I was going to fall asleep even though I'd already had a nap.

After a while longer Hanami stood up and everyone went silent. 'Thank you everyone for joining us for dinner.' She said softly, bowing. 'I will now return to my chambers for repose but I pray you all have a pleasant evening. I will see you all tomorrow, for the village tour and the evening festival.' She said, inclining her head before pushing in her chair.

Every person present gave her a seated bow including us, and then she vanished from sight.

Before I could think too hard about why she'd retired before us Yui gave me the answer. 'Hanami-sama is always very fatigued due to her powers.' She explained, leaning in close to whisper. 'She has visions all the time, even when in the middle of conversation, so that's why she may seem dazed when speaking.'

I nodded slowly, everything coming together. So that's why she walked and spoke so lethargically; because she was having visions. I could only imagine how taxing that would be.

'I see.' I said to Yui, noticing that Kazama had reached for my hand again. I let him take it even though I was still annoyed with him but his warmth was just too good to resist.

Yui opened her mouth to say something but she was interrupted by Shou, her uncle. 'Yui, would you be able to hold Riku for a moment? He's growing unsettled.' He sighed, and Yui hastily agreed.

Shou disappeared from his seat and reappeared at her side, holding his white haired son in his arms. I almost melted as the toddler was lowered into Yui's waiting hands, his fist still in his mouth and his big blue eyes fixed on my face. I could feel the same cluckiness welling inside me that I felt with Megumi and Naiko and I couldn't guarantee I could hide it from Kazama this time, particularly because Riku's eyes were just so beautiful.

Shou moved back to be with his wife and Yui immediately rotated to face me once she'd brought Riku to her chest. 'Isn't he just the sweetest little boy?' She cooed mostly to him before running her fingers through his hair.

It took all I had not to beg for her to let me hold him, but it was like she could read my mind.

She held him out to me a little bit, smiling invitingly. 'Do you want to hold him, Chizuru-sama?' She asked, and I instantly plucked my hand out of Kazama's. 'Can I?' I clarified, maybe too desperately.

Yui smiled and handed him to me, ensuring I was holding him properly before she let go. 'Of course. Normally he's a good boy but sometimes he can get a bit restless. But he calms down when he's held by other people.' She said, tickling his side.

Riku squirmed a little against my chest, letting out a soft giggle as he was tickled. The sound almost caused my heart to explode.

He stared up at my face curiously, silently analysing my strange features before he stretched his right hand up to take some of my fringe into his hands. I held him tighter to me, so enveloped in adoration that I didn't realise Kazama was now eyeballing me. 'Hey Riku.' I said quietly, tilting my head so he could grab onto more of my hair. He appeared transfixed by it and had now elevated his other hand to grab onto my fringe.

I let him play for a while before Yui started talking again. 'Do you want children, Chizuru-sama?' She asked, her eyes moving from mine to Riku.

I bit my lip, horrified that I would have to answer this question in front of Kazama. 'Yes... one day.' I admitted, which earned me a smile from Yui. 'I can tell you'd be a good mother. Riku seems to like you.' She remarked casually.

I smiled shyly in response, wincing at the intensity radiating from the man next to me. He now had his full attention directed on me and the child in my arms, and consequently the words he spoke on our date a few weeks ago ran through my head.

 _One day you will bring me the gift of a new family_.

He'd said that after telling me that his parents had passed away, a thought which still plagued me with sadness. I'd often considered if Kazama was lonely and through that statement I had realised he _was_ , even if he didn't know it. He hoped that a wife and children could provide him with the family he'd lost.

Riku amused himself with my hair as I spent the next few minutes mulling over Kazama's words and their meaning, deaf to Kazama calling my name.

I was only torn from concentration upon feeling Riku being taken from my arms.

I blinked a few times as I came back to reality, stunned at seeing it was Kazama who had taken the toddler from me. He appeared rather stern which was how I knew he'd already tried to gain my attention unsuccessfully, but I was unable to feel too guilty when he pressed the child to his chest. A strange longing flooded me when I saw Riku in his arms.

Kazama sighed at my vacant expression. 'Chizuru, I will take you to your room now.' He said, the look in his eyes communicating that he was serious.

I gave him an injured regard and glanced at Riku again, wishing I could take him back. 'Why?' I asked, cringing as Kazama's frown grew deeper. 'Because I can see by your prior unresponsiveness that you're tired, and it is getting late anyway. I won't have you moping around all day tomorrow because you exhausted yourself.' He lectured.

I sighed and drooped my shoulders, knowing I couldn't persuade him out of it. 'Fine.'

Once Kazama had achieved my surrender, he lifted himself from his chair and pulled me up with him. 'Chizuru and I will retreat to our rooms now, and will see you all tomorrow. We thank you for keeping us company during dinner and making us feel welcome.' He said, still holding a boisterous Riku with his right arm.

I felt guilty as Yui's face fell but everyone else gave us warm smiles and bid us goodnight.

After we'd said goodbye, Kazama moved Riku off his hip and returned him to Yui.

I was mesmerised by the subtle tenderness on his face, but when he looked up at me he returned to being stoic. 'Let's go, Chizuru.' He ordered, reaching out to take my hand.

I sighed, nodding and facing Yui before Kazama dragged me off. 'It was nice meeting you, Yui-san.' I said, and she smiled. 'And you too, Chizuru-sama. If you want I will come and get you sometime and we can do something together. Is that ok?' She exclaimed exuberantly, her smile changing into a grin.

I smiled cheerily. 'Sounds perfect. Goodnight, Yui-san.' I said as I bowed to her, which caused her to pale, but she bowed back. 'Goodnight, Chizuru-sama.'

I couldn't resist patting Riku on the head one last time before Kazama lead me out of the Hall and back into the throne room. I hadn't really wanted to leave but Kazama was right, as usual. I was tired and it probably wasn't a good idea to exhaust myself before tomorrow; and I still needed to have a bath.

Kazama lead me up the first flight of stairs, his hand still interlocked with mine. We didn't speak but the silence was peaceful, as it normally was when neither of us were talking. The only sounds to be heard were our footsteps on the stone floor as we walked down the first corridor to the staircase at the end. Nothing else made a sound.

It was only when we emerged onto our corridor did Kazama speak. 'Yui was right.' He sighed vaguely, facing straight ahead as we approached my door.

I frowned, unable to think of what he meant. 'About what?' I questioned, fishing my key out from my obi as we came to a stop outside my room.

Kazama smirked at me, shadows flitting across his face in the torchlight. It seemed he enjoyed my confusion so he said nothing at first, not even when he could see I was growing impatient. His scarlet eyes blazed in the dark as they trailed over every one of my features.

Eventually he reached up to press his hand to my cheek, chuckling as the contact made me blush. 'You _would_ be a good mother, Chizuru. And a good wife too, so I agree that you do not need to be trained in marriage.' He said, twirling a strand of my hair between his fingers before brushing his knuckles down my jaw.

I lowered my eyes as a warm feeling rushed through my body at his words. My heart was pounding as we stood there together by my door and I found I didn't know what to say to him. Maybe I wasn't supposed to say anything at all. I was flattered that he thought I would be a good wife and mother as that's exactly what I wanted to be; someone who was capable of taking care of my family, of ensuring they were cared for and loved. Hearing Kazama say that meant more to me than I thought it would.

When I didn't speak, Kazama chuckled. 'But you _do_ you have a sharp tongue and have no problem calling me a jerk in front of my kin. Not many people get away with doing that.' He said, but I could tell he was only teasing.

I finally found my voice after that accusation. 'Well I couldn't lie to Yui about why I didn't go with you after Ikedaya. And quite frankly I think I was generous in what I said, as you were a bit more than just a jerk.' I retorted, meeting his gaze as best I could but my cheeks were still sizzling.

Kazama raised an eyebrow at my comment. 'See what I mean about being sharp tongued?'

I shut my mouth after that.

Originally Kazama had come across as the sort of man who wanted an obedient and soft-spoken wife who would do what he wanted with no questions asked, but through what I'd seen so far that was far from his ideal partner. He seemed to find my wit amusing and my disobedience entertaining, apart from when it put me in danger, but he'd had no qualms in telling me I was his perfect wife.

Finally Kazama let me go so I could open the door to my room and walk in. Yuri, my maid, had already been inside to stoke the fire and light the candles and I made a mental note to thank her when I fetched her soon to prepare a bath for me.

I let Kazama pick up my hand again once I was past the door. 'I am certain nothing will harm you here, Chizuru, but if you see a mouse then you need only come to my room. I will leave my door unlocked so you can enter when you please.' He joshed, chortling to himself as I gave him an unimpressed regard.

I grit my teeth as he mentioned the mouse again. He had just warranted one of my rare snarky comments for bringing that up. 'First of all, I am not actually scared of mice, Kazama-san, and even if I was at least they can scratch and bite. I don't recall _bean sprouts_ being capable of such things.' I jabbed, taking a risk with my retort but not being able to help myself.

Kazama's eyes grew so narrow they were slits. 'Hmph.' Was all he said.

I tried to suppress my satisfaction at his speechlessness but failed, having to look down at my feet so I could hide my face but the only thing that could have concealed my amusement would have been Hanami's mask.

Kazama remained unimpressed as he watched me trying to contain myself. 'How very amusing. But be careful which fights you pick, Chizuru, as there are many more ways for _me_ to get under _your_ skin than you under mine. Which reminds me...' He mused, leaning against the doorway. 'Who would have thought you found our date _romantic_.'

My amusement at my bean sprout joke vanished entirely.

I sent him a vicious warning glare, unthreading our fingers. 'Goodnight.' I said abruptly, going to shut the door but he stopped it with his hand.

He simpered devilishly before his arm was suddenly around my waist, pulling me to his chest. 'If you found _that_ romantic then maybe you were more partial to me than I thought, even back then. You were still scared of me at that stage, were you not?' He purred, refusing to let me go no matter how much I struggled.

I let out an unladylike sigh, my whole face burning with embarrassment. 'You weren't so much scary as incredibly obnoxious and unenthusiastic. It was like I forced you to go on that date and not the other way around! Now let me go.' I growled, but I'd stopped trying to escape him. He was holding me too tight.

He clicked his tongue disapprovingly. 'I did not force you on that date, as you accepted my offer to go. When Sen held that ridiculous meeting and I asked you on a date, you even agreed to it in front of your peasant friends! In fact I said you would be rid of me forever if you found the evening unpleasant, and low and behold not even then could you reject me. If only you were always that honest with what you wanted.' He scoffed, snickering as I grew even more stubborn.

I was desperate to get the conversation directed away from my feelings before I accidentally divulged them, and I chose not to react to his taunt. 'And what about you? You weren't that honest either when you refused to answer Osen-chan's question on why you still wished to pursue me even after she'd offered you a child.' I shot back, silently curious as to why he'd done so anyway.

Kazama's mirth dampened lightly, and he frowned. 'I did give an answer, don't you remember? I said I wanted you, and I also reminded that wench that she was not entirely pure-blooded and therefore unsuitable to bear my children anyway. But if you want another reason then it is this; the only woman I would consider having children with would be the woman I was married to and none other. What Sen promised me was a child outside of a healthy relationship, one born to parents who only coupled due to obligation. The child would have been raised believing they had been conceived for duty and not for love, and I would never allow a child to grow up knowing their parents had used them to satisfy a duty. Our children will not live with such a burden.'

I went limp in his arms, peering up at the serious look on his face. I'd never even thought of it like that or considered that Kazama would have the interests of the child at heart rather than his own. Maybe he really would be a good father; and a good husband.

Kazama slowly readopted his prior smugness. 'Was that an appropriate answer to your question, kitten? Are you astonished that someone as _callous_ as me could be so thoughtful of my child?' He asked as he noticed I'd become complacent in his arms.

I realised he was referring to how I'd once thought he was a monster, how maybe in the past I'd indeed believed he was too callous to care for his own offspring.

Did he still think I thought of him like that?

I turned away from him slightly, my heart beating faster at the words I knew I had to say. 'You're not callous, Kazama-san. I don't think of you like that anymore and... it's been a long time since I have.'

I let out a relieved breath as I forced it out, relieved that I'd said it but unsure what his reaction would be.

But he didn't say anything.

He probably hadn't expected me to say something so heartfelt, but I felt like I'd needed to remind him again that I no longer held that opinion of him, just in case he thought I did.

When Kazama finally replied, his voice had lost its sardonic tone. 'Well. It seems like this no-lying policy has been good for you, Chizuru. I certainly am uncovering some interesting thoughts of yours and I'm sure there will be more. But I appreciate you saying so, even though I already suspected your thoughts of me had changed.' He said, gliding a hand over my hair.

I was content and embarrassed at the same time as he acknowledged what I'd said. I felt like I'd needed to tell him outright so he knew I didn't think of him as a monster anymore, and I didn't want him to be uncertain about whether he truly did have a clean slate. I may not have been willing to tell him that I _liked_ him, but he deserved to know I didn't _hate_ him.

My heart was thudding almost painfully as he pulled his arm away from around my waist and placed both hands on my shoulders, exactly like Hijikata used to do. 'Is there anything else you wish to confess while you're in this strange mood?' He urged somewhat sarcastically, his hands sliding up my neck to cup my cheeks.

The motion made my knees weak, but I managed to look controlled. 'No.' I mumbled, fully aware that I usually would have pushed his hands off me by this point but at the moment I liked it too much. His touch made me electrified and relaxed at the same time, an oddly addictive combination.

Kazama sighed, feigning disappointment. 'Shame, but I still have 6 more days of honesty before you go back to lying to me all the time. Who knows what else I'll uncover.'

'Nothing.' I assured him as he pulled his hands away, stepping out into the hallway.

He turned back to smirk at me. 'We'll see about that. As for now get some rest. I will see you in the morning.' He promised, and I couldn't look away from his garnet eyes no matter how much I wanted to. 'Goodnight, Kazama-san.' I murmured in reply, unwilling to close the door until he had gone.

Smirking at me one last time, he vanished into thin air and soon after I heard his door shut behind him.

 _Urgh_.

What was he doing to me?

With every day that went by I grew even weaker around him, even more unable to resist his charm. Now I was even learning to be more honest with him... which might have been aided by the fact I couldn't lie here, but it hardly mattered. Maybe he _would_ be able to get more confessions out of me by the end of the week.

I shut my own door and trudged over to my bed to sit down on the end. I needed to fetch Yuri to prepare my bath and then I could finally crawl into bed after a very long and tiring day. I had actually made it to Yamamura after all this time but I'd been left physically and emotionally drained, mainly from the amount of people I'd met today. Everyone had seemed very bubbly and open to conversation, in particular Yui who I was glad I'd met tonight, and it had been nice speaking with another girl after a few months of being surrounded by three grown men. I was looking forward to the next time I saw her but I hoped she wouldn't ask me anymore embarrassing questions about Kazama.

Laying back down on my bed to rest for a few more minutes, I forgot all about my bath as I felt fatigue pulling my eyes closed.

And soon after that I was asleep.


	34. Eternal night

**WOW I AM SORRY. I've been hella busy lately and all over the place, plus I'm back living with my family for the holidays and they barely give me any time to write because they pester me about being in my room haha :D But here it is, another chapter.**

 **Thank you for your patience xx 3**

 **NyaPowa** \- Hello there, long time no see! Or review, rather… :D Indeed Kazama is lucky to have the only mythical creature as his crest, but it just fit him so well haha. I'm glad you liked the latest chapter and can see the reason for Kazama's patience; he's such a tease. Please enjoy this new chapter!

 **Spirit kagome** \- Hey and thanks for the review! I'm pleased to hear you've enjoyed it that much, and I hope you continue to do so. Here's a new chapter!

 **Guest** \- Thank you! And thanks for leaving a review, it really does mean a lot :3 here's a new chapter for you :D

 **Nafeesa** \- thanks for the review :3 I'll keep your suggestion in mind, and I hope you like this newest chapter

 **Evy22** \- Merci, et joyeuses fetes a toi aussi :3 j'espere que tu aimes cet prochain chapitre

 **alysania** \- heey there, thanks for the review! I was pretty happy that I managed to post another chapter around Christmas because I wanted to give you all an early xmas gift! I'm pleased you've noticed the change in both characters from the beginning, and as for the kiss… you'll have to wait and see haha :D enjoy this next chapter

 **Chi-chan** \- hey, thanks for taking the time to review my story! I'll answer your questions one by one below:

 _Castle doors/locks/plants_ **-** You have a point that this architecture would not have existed in Japan at this stage, but despite this I chose not to give Yamamura a Japanese style castle to symbolise that they were separate from mainstream Japan. They are different from the humans and not entirely bound by their culture even though they live in the same country. The locks on the doors and balcony were moreso done for privacy reasons than safety, the same reason why any normal house nowadays would have locks on the bathroom, master bedroom, toilet, etc. In regards to the plants, the plants are resistant to extreme weather which is why they are pale (some of the characters explain this in more detail later on). In addition, not all mountains this high are covered by ice at their peaks.

 _Crests_ \- You mentioned that the animals aren't related to their powers, but I didn't intend all of the clan crests to be a reflection of this anyway. I chose these animals mostly because they in some way relate to the clans location, reputation, or even their clan colour (for example, I chose a tiger for the Shinobi clan because their clan colour is orange, like a tiger). I also didn't restrict myself by making it compulsory than the clan crest animals had to actually exist; hence why Kazama's is a dragon.

 _Forcefields_ \- In chapter 32. City of stone, Kazama explains that they are indeed forcefields because they can be used as 'barriers' to protect themselves, implying they can be shields against attacks. Their demonic auras are the white glow around them, the same white glow that Chizuru sees surrounding Kazama when she uses her oni vision (you can see examples of this in chapter 21. Rose gold, and chapter 25. Candlelight, just to name a few). Chizuru also explains during her flashback in Chapter 18 that the white glow around a person means that they're an oni.

And Hanami has bare feet for no particular reason… do you always wear shoes inside your own house haha? :D

I hope I answered all of your questions, and please enjoy this new chapter: D

 **RoxyandherProxy** \- Yay thanks for such a nice review: 3 don't worry about not reviewing, you have your own life too haha, but I appreciate it anyway of course as I love to hear feedback! I'm flattered that you find my story so engaging and are able to understand the reason why it's so paced; I know Kazama's and Chizuru's progress may seem slow, but I want it to be natural. Thanks again for the review :D

 **Michiko (guest)** \- Hi there, thanks for reading my story! To answer your question, Kazama does indeed remember that he and Chizuru were engaged, but you will find out what happened to his necklace later on :3 please keep on reading and I hope you like this new chapter!

 **HeavenXscent** \- Yaaay! I'm happy you liked them, I was indeed going for the otherworldly vibe with the Yume clan! There's definitely going to be some interesting things happening in the next few chapters, so stay keen and thanks for the review! :D

 **Guest3446** \- Aww, what a sweet review haha :D I'm honoured you come on the website just to read my story, it really means a lot to me! And I'm SOOO sorry about how long this chapter took, I really dislike leaving so long between postings because I know first hand how it feels to wait in suspense for a chapter! I hope you enjoy the newest update, and thanks for leaving a review :D

* * *

 **Eternal night**

'Chizuru-sama… Chizuru-sama!'

My heavy eyes rolled open to see an unfamiliar silhouette standing beside me.

At first I thought I was back in the forest being awoken by Kazama for another gruelling day on the road, but when I looked up there was no ceiling of leaves above my head nor the soft chirping of birds. I was under a stone roof laying on an impossibly soft bed, and I could feel the soothing heat of a fire wafting over my skin.

I wasn't outside. Not this morning.

'Chizuru-sama, are you ok?' Yuri whispered, her face beginning to take form now that the blurriness of my vision was clearing. I gasped, sitting up quickly as I registered she was speaking to me. Pink streaks of light were beginning to sift through the chiffon curtains covering the massive windows to my left and I realised promptly that it was dawn.

I blinked a few times to clear the fatigue from my sight. 'Uh… yeah.' I replied, peering down at the emerald kimono I was still wearing. I was even laying at the end of my bed still, my legs hanging off the side in the exact same position I'd fallen asleep in last night.

Yuri smiled politely but seemed flustered that she'd startled me. 'I apologise for entering your room without permission but when I knocked there was no answer. I have prepared your bath and arranged your attire for today, and after you are ready then I will bring you breakfast as Hanami-sama said you would be tired. Do you need help bathing?' She asked innocently, like it was completely normal for her to assist with such a thing.

I blushed slightly, lethargically hauling myself off the bed and onto my feet. 'Uh… no, that's ok. Thank you, Yuri-chan, for getting everything ready.' I said earnestly, bowing shallowly and then smoothing out the creases that had made their way into my kimono. I was certain that I looked heavily dishevelled and now that my mind was beginning to clear, I became aware how strange it would have been to see me sleeping fully clothed in such an odd position.

Yuri appeared panicked at my display of respect but managed to rear in her shock for long enough to respond. 'Very well, Chizuru-sama. Please let me know if you need anything else.' She said, inclining her head before she tottered back over to my door and let herself out.

Once she was gone, I sat right back down again. My head felt dizzy from having gotten up so quickly and my legs felt like lead, so I wondered how on earth I was supposed to go on a tour of the village this morning. I predicted that my fatigue would dissipate pretty rapidly especially after a bath but at the moment I would have died to go back to sleep at least for another few hours. It was like my body knew we would only be here for a short time so it was trying to coax me into making the most of it. And it was telling me it needed a sleep in.

Eventually I dragged myself off the bed again, shuffling over towards the en suite where I knew a hot bath was waiting for me. Despite my sleepiness I was excited for hot water and the sense of being truly clean as I hadn't had a heated bath since the last village.

Trudging into the bathroom, I was already shedding my kimono when I saw the bath. It was filled high with steaming water and smelt vaguely of roses, petals sprinkled over the thin layer of pink bubbles resting on the surface. The steam was fogging up the full length mirror in front of me and as I caught a glance of my almost naked reflection I realised it was the first time I'd seen myself unclothed in a long time, maybe since we began the journey. My body had changed since then but not much; after all, I'd still been fed regularly and the horses meant we hadn't had to do much exercise. But I was leaner than before, maybe stronger. Or maybe I was just imagining it.

I stripped the rest of the way and tested the water with my finger before I allowed myself to enter the bath. The sensation was heavenly as I sunk in up to my chin, raising my already wet and bubble-covered hands to let my hair down. There was a collection of soaps and cloths on the small wooden table next to the bath that I could use to wash my body and hair, and I left no product unsampled as I scrubbed myself from head to toe. I washed off 2 weeks' worth of dirt and watched gleefully as my skin returned to its prior suppleness, moving onto my hair which had recently began to smell like the ground I slept on every night.

When I was done, I permitted myself to just lay there and process where I was.

I still couldn't believe I was here in Yamamura. All those times Kazama had spoken about it, warned me what to expect, but I never could have been prepared for what I'd seen so far. The city itself was beautiful and lively as were the people who inhabited it, and I was excited to discover even more. Everyone around me had been so welcoming and already I felt comfortable and safe here. It was like a part of me knew I belonged with other onis.

I only started to think about getting out when my fingers and toes started to prune and I grew lightheaded from the heat. Yuri had placed a deep blue kimono on the bench in addition to a pair of black shoes on the floor below. There was also a ribbon to tie my hair back.

After I had summoned the motivation to get out, I raised myself out of the water and stepped back onto the stone. I hurriedly snatched a white towel off the rack and wrapped it around my body before the water pouring off me drenched the floor. Thankfully the heat from the fireplace had filled the en suite too and coupled with the steam from the bath the air was nice and warm.

I dressed myself and moved out into the main area, marvelling once again at the luxury of the room, and I had only just found my brush when I heard a knock on the door.

I cleared my throat briefly before responding. 'Come in.' I called.

When the door swung open, I almost smelt him before I saw him.

My heart rate tripled as Kazama moved into my room, flashing me a mischievous smile. 'Good morning, kitten.' He purred, his voice sending ripples of heat under my skin. I thought briefly of last night and our short exchange before I'd gone to bed, when he told me I would be a good wife and mother. Those words still flustered me now.

I swallowed, blushing a soft pink as the light of dawn set his skin aglow. 'Good morning, Kazama-san. Did you sleep well?' I asked tentatively as I fiddled idly with my brush, feeling the wetness of my hair seeping through my kimono. He chuckled lightly and it was then I realised he was holding a platter of food and tea. 'Ah, normally that is my question to you. I am pleased you are growing more attentive, Chizuru, but the answer is indeed I did.' He said with pleasure, placing the food down on the table between the two armchairs near the door.

I stood there frozen as he sat down on the chair closest to the door, raising his eyes to behold me.

For a while we just stared at each other as if we were waiting for something to happen, and I feared I would get lost in his eyes it went on for too much longer. He was dressed in a cobalt blue haori and a dark grey yukata, colours which I never thought would suit him but the reality was he looked better in my clan colour than I did.

He broke my trance when he gestured to the platter of food. 'Come now. Breakfast isn't going to serve itself.' He said obnoxiously, allowing himself to sink further into the chair. I sighed irately, officially released from my captivation, before I trudged reluctantly over to him. 'You can serve your own breakfast.' I muttered under my breath, but despite my words I poured him some tea. He smirked at my capitulation and watched indolently as I handed him his cup.

However, I was unprepared when he suddenly pushed a strand of my wet hair back behind my ear.

I flinched at the action, lifting my gaze just in time to see his eyes shift from my hair to my face. 'And did _you_ have a pleasant night's sleep?' He asked, seemingly unfazed by the tenderness he'd just shown. My words were even harder to form now that his touch had turned my brain to mush but I managed to nod. 'Yes.' I murmured, sitting down on my own chair before my legs gave way.

Simpering at the colour of my cheeks, he picked up his tea. 'Good. Because this morning we will be doing lots of walking as Hato is taking us on a village tour. And after that we have the festival. It will be a long night.' He said simply, taking a reasonable mouthful of liquid even though it was close to scalding. I tried not to notice how his lips formed around the cup's edge but it enthralled me to watch. They seemed so soft.

I tore my eyes from him to pick up my own tea, willing myself to suppress the strange desire burning inside me. 'So… what will actually happen at the festival?' I inquired, predominantly asking the question to distract myself but I was also genuinely curious. Kazama put down his cup and leaned back in the chair, eyes grazing lazily over the food he'd probably intercepted from Yuri so he could have an excuse to come here. 'There will be food, dancing and music, and you will have the opportunity to meet some more members of the village. Later on in the evening we will pose our questions to Hanami. I should warn you that part of Hanami's power as clan leader is to project her visions so other people can see them, so this means that everyone will see the answer to the question you ask. It will make sense to you tonight.'

For a second I couldn't control the panic that welled up inside me.

Everyone would see the answer to my question? So they would know I asked about the Shinsengumi?

And not only would they know I chose to ask about humans, but they would also see their fate. _Kazama_ would see their fate, and he would know then what I'd chosen to ask about and whether or not they were dead or alive. All this time I'd been determined to keep my question a secret and it turned out he would discover it anyway. But then again, it meant I would get to hear his as well.

I nodded, finally beginning to eat. 'I see…' I murmured, smothering back my wet hair before it dripped onto the food. 'Was there a festival when you came here the first time? When you were younger?' I posed, swallowing the chunk of apple in my mouth before I looked at him timidly. He was halfway through drinking some more tea but he lowered the cup to respond. 'Indeed. Both times I've come to Yamamura there has been a festival, although on the second occasion there was a celebration anyway because it was Hanami's parents' wedding. The first time the festival was purely for my family and I.' He disclosed.

I was relieved that he had given me an answer without making a big deal out of it, so I carried on. 'The first visit was to get your premonition read, right? So was it Hanami's mother or father who deciphered your marking?' I asked curiously, blowing softly on my tea to cool it down. Kazama shook his head. 'No. Although they both would have been capable of it, they allowed Yui to read my marking at the time. This was to give her more practice with her clan power as she'd been training to become a Reader; someone who deciphers the premonition markings of other onis. This is her main role within the village as many of those in the Yume clan cannot read their own markings despite their powers of prophecy. It is something they need to be trained in.' He said, beginning to eat just as I had. I remarked that he was eating all the peach slices first, and I wondered absentmindedly whether or not they were his favourite fruit.

I reached for another slice of apple, satisfied with his cooperation for now. 'I wonder what my marking will be.' I mumbled to myself, playing with the bracelet at my wrist. The two charms were sparkling in the dawn light and I admired the moon charm he'd given me for my birthday. I didn't know how he'd sourced something like this but then again he was full of surprises, and I wondered how far ahead he'd planned everything; the festival, the kimonos, and the charm.

I only realised I was smiling faintly when I looked up to see him watching me, but surprisingly he wasn't smirking. He was observing me kind of cautiously like he was wanting to say something and his eyes kept switching to my bracelet. I knew my fiddling irritated him so I presumed that was why he was watching me.

I let the charm slip from my fingers. 'It's always been a habit.' I murmured, talking about playing with my bracelet, but when I saw a flash of confusion cross his face I knew that hadn't been the reason for his reflective silence.

His eyes flickered briefly to my wrist before lifting to my face. 'The man who gave you that...' he said suddenly, catching me unaware. He paused briefly before continuing but my heart was already pounding. 'That man you saved, Chizuru... what exactly do you remember about him?'

I blinked at him a few times, trying to figure out why he seemed so interested. Right from the start of the journey he'd asked me questions about both the piece of jewellery on my wrist and the man I'd saved. It was like he knew something I didn't, or he wanted to find out who it was before I did.

I answered anyway. 'Not much. I remember he was tall and had light hair, and also that he was a friend of my parents. My father told me he was strong too but I don't know why he gave me this, or why he was so important to me. I must have cared about him a lot in order to summon the power to resurrect him. I had been prepared to die in his place, after all.' I murmured wistfully, examining the sun charm as I spoke as if it would show me the answer.

Kazama was silent for a few minutes, resigning himself to watching me fiddle with the bracelet. His curiosity was perplexing but maybe his questions meant he was actually trying to gather clues about the man so he could help discover who he was. The thought was comforting, as was the knowledge that he'd been so protective of me when I'd showed him my memories of when I'd saved that man's life. He hadn't nagged me about becoming his wife but warned me about the dangers of telling anyone about my power. The power to bring back the dead.

I was instantly reminded of what he'd said about Amagiri's niece and her ability to speak with the deceased. If she was the only other person that he knew about with such a power, then it was most likely rarer than I'd previously believed to possess any power that related to the dead.

I took in a deep breath. 'You said Amagiri's niece can talk to those who have died. How does that work?' I questioned, analysing Kazama's face as his expression grew more relaxed but I couldn't figure out why he'd been tense in the first place.

But to my surprise, a sudden warmth began to flourish in his eyes.

Kazama gestured for me to refill his teacup before he responded. 'Kiri's powers are rather undefined at the moment because she is still quite young. Generally she does not choose who she speaks with and when, as the dead contact her, and she can also see their spirits if she passes close to where they died or where their body is buried. When she gets older it will become clearer what the extent of her power is.' He predicted, and I narrowed my eyes at the strange softness in his expression.

'Oh.' I said, pouring more tea into his cup. 'So when did she discover her middle power?'

As I watched him smile, something that felt too much like jealously stirred within me. Could it be possible Kiri was... a past lover? The possibility was horrifying to me and I didn't know what I'd do if that was the truth. I'd rarely seen such affection in his eyes and it was an affection not even he could hide.

Kazama chuckled, picking up his teacup once I'd replenished it. 'Her power manifested itself right from birth. As a toddler she used to enter trances, sometimes for hours at a time, and speak to seemingly nothing. It was only as she grew older that she was able to tell her parents what was going on. It is very uncommon for a middle power to show itself so early but it is not surprising considering she is the clan leader's daughter. Jotoro himself discovered his middle power when he was a child.' He sighed, and I guessed that Jotoro was Amagiri's brother. The clan leader.

Alarm bells were ringing in my ears as he finished. Kiri was the daughter of a clan leader then, like me. Kazama had just implied that she was powerful and I could tell he was familiar with her. But if she'd been eligible for marriage then why had they not been paired? Was she not a pureblood?

I tried not to give away the fact I was now investigating her relationship to Kazama rather than her middle power, but I couldn't help but narrow my eyes. 'So is she a pureblood?' I questioned innocently. He nodded. 'She is indeed. And it is obvious too, as even at her young she displays incredible talent with her powers. She reminds me of you, actually, and she _also_ has a sharp tongue.' He tittered, amused by his own comparison.

Now I was even more suspicious. Their familiarity was undeniable now and it sounded like they'd known each other for a long time. The jealously was quenching my appetite and I was so disappointed in myself for feeling this way but I just couldn't reel in my emotions. The fact he'd even compared me to her only served to feed my paranoia.

I swallowed the uncomfortable lump in my throat. 'So how old is she then?' I queried, the final question I was going to ask before I would stop. I did not want to make this worse by finding out even more things that would make me jealous. Kazama leaned back in the chair, silently communicating he had finished eating. 'She turned 11 this year.' He said, wiping his mouth casually with one of the napkins on the tray.

The relief I felt was instant. All the muscles in my body unclenched at the same time and I struggled to supress a thankful sigh. At 11 she definitely wouldn't have been his lover, I could guarantee that.

'She's still a child, then.' I sighed, the words meant to console myself, but I rapidly continued in case Kazama picked up that I'd been jealous. 'So does her mother also come from the Amagiri clan or does she have parents from two clans like me?' I asked, and he tossed the napkin back on the table and smirked briefly at my curiosity. 'Her mother, Mei, is from a different clan, just as your mother was. Mei was promised to Jotoro at a young age so they were quite familiar with each other before their marriage despite him being almost 60 years her senior.'

I nodded, glad he hadn't noticed my prior envy. 'Oh. So what clan is she from?'

As soon as I asked that question, I saw the hesitation on his face. It was the same look he gave me when I'd already received my daily quota of answers.

But he answered anyway.

'She is from my clan, kitten.' He disclosed, keeping his eyes fixed on me so he didn't miss how my eyes widened. 'Your clan? Did you know her before she left?' I gasped, understanding in that moment why Amagiri and Kazama had such a close relationship. It was because a member of Kazama's clan had married into Amagiri's family, the clan leader no less. For such an arrangement to work they would have had to be amicable with each other.

I waited patiently for his response, and he gave it to me.

'Of course I knew her.' He said, but he appeared amused. 'Because she is my younger sister.'

I gawked at him, unable to speak for a few seconds.

Kazama had a _sister_?! And that also meant that Kiri was _his_ niece too! No wonder he'd appeared so gentle when talking about her. All this time I'd assumed he was an only child but I'd never thought about the possibility he could have siblings. I was so shocked I couldn't close my mouth, not even when Kazama began to smirk at my expression. If she was anything like her brother, she would be both beautiful and unbearably infuriating.

After a whole minute without a proper response from me, Kazama reached out to push my mouth closed. 'Is it that much of a surprise, kitten?' He sighed, sliding his thumb once over my chin before dropping his hand. I eventually wrenched myself from disbelief, but I was so stunned I forgot to answer his question before asking my own. 'Is she your only sibling?' I spluttered, drawing a fleeting smile from him at my incoherency. He nodded. 'She is. You will get to meet her when I take you back to my village and make you my wife, as she will travel from Hebimura to come to our marriage ceremony.'

I blushed, pouting slightly. He always brought up our marriage at the most unexpected times.

I folded my arms and sighed. 'Is your sister as vexing as you?' I mumbled half-heartedly, unable to meet Kazama's gaze as he snickered at my question. 'Even more so.' He said good-naturedly, although I was unsure whether or not he actually thought that because siblings always found each other annoying.

However, I didn't have any more time to process the realisation because there was a soft knock on the door.

Kazama rolled his head to the side, pausing as if he could see through it, then he wordlessly appeared in front of it with his hand already on the handle.

It was Yuri.

She bowed politely at Kazama, keeping her eyes averted. 'Good morning, Kazama-sama. I apologise for intruding on your time with Chizuru-sama but I have been asked to escort her to the throne room where Hanami-sama wishes to speak with her.' She announced, accepting Kazama's invitation to step inside.

I couldn't conceal the astonishment on my face at the news that Hanami had sent someone to fetch me.

Had I done something wrong?

Butterflies started to flit around in my stomach as Yuri turned to me as well. 'Are you ready, Chizuru-sama?' She asked, her question sending me into a frenzy. I hadn't yet brushed my hair and I wasn't even wearing my shoes, and my unpreparedness only became worse when combined with the panic of not knowing why Hanami wanted to see me. It could have been anything. Maybe she'd had a vision about me.

I immediately sat up and picked my brush up off the seat. 'Umm, almost. I just have to brush my hair.' I said, peering nervously at Kazama who was still standing by the door. His expression was blank but I could tell even he had no idea why I'd been summoned.

I scurried off into the bathroom, tearing though my knots with the comb whilst trying to ensure I didn't hurt myself, and once I was finished and my shoes were on I hurried out of my bathroom over to Yuri who was standing beside Kazama.

'I'm ready.' I said, giving Yuri a polite smile. She blushed a little at the gesture and smiled back shyly. 'Very well, please come with me. Excuse us Kazama-sama.' She said as she dipped her head respectfully, stepping outside into the hall.

I followed her out, as did Kazama, allowing Yuri to shut the door after us.

Kazama looked down at me as Yuri was busy locking the door, his eyes sparkling waywardly as he picked my hand up and pressed it to his lips. 'I will see you soon for the tour, dear bride.' He spoke against my skin, the sensation so pleasant that I almost gasped audibly. He seemed to know this too so he flashed me one last smirk before he dropped my hand, just as Yuri turned around.

She must have heard what he'd said to me because she appeared wholly flustered. 'This way, Chizuru-sama.' She practically spluttered, her cheeks pinker than mine were.

I did as I was told but not before shooting Kazama a well-earned glare, turning away from him to follow Yuri as she powered down the hall. My cheeks were still flushed from how he'd called me his bride and spoken against my hand, and although it wasn't the first time he'd done either of those things they still made my heart pound.

When Kazama was long gone, she handed me back my room key. 'I pray you had a pleasant breakfast? Kazama-sama insisted that he take you your meal this morning.' She said as we descended the first flight of stairs. I was relieved she had spoken but it took all I had not to sigh at Kazama's antics. 'It was perfect, thank you. And the tea was very nice.' I acknowledged, recalling that it was a flavour I hadn't recognised.

We both stepped off the last stair and began walked to the last staircase, beginning the last descent. 'I'm glad you found it to your liking. It's made from a plant that only grows here in Yamamura. If at any stage you would like some more just let me know and I will bring it to your room.' She chirped, peering up at me meekly for just a second before she cast her gaze back to her feet.

I was just about to thank her when we came down enough stairs so I could see the throne room. Once again it took my breath away but it wasn't empty as it normally was. This time there was a figure standing in the middle, her fragile body clothed entirely in white.

Yuri paused before she took her foot off the last step. 'I will leave you here, Chizuru-sama. Enjoy your morning.' She bid, her voice echoing through the room at least 7 times before disappearing.

I swallowed, even more nervous than before. 'Ok. See you soon, Yuri-chan.'

When she was gone, I turned back to Hanami who had now turned to me. She was wearing a long white cape over her kimono and white slip on shoes, sporting the mask that she always wore. She was as still as a statue and as eerie too.

Taking in a slow breath, I forced myself to approach her. 'Good morning, Hanami-sama.' I said, willing my voice not to waver. A thousand possibilities of why she wanted to speak to me were running through my mind and drowning out the logic part of my brain that was telling me to calm down. She probably only wanted to welcome me, to ask how I'd fared in the human world. It was most likely something like that.

Hanami finally moved from her frozen position, clasping her gloved hands in front of her. 'Good morning, Chizuru-sama. Did you sleep well last night?' She asked, her torpid voice ringing in my ears as I came to stand in front of her. I bowed briefly. 'I did, thank you. The room was perfect.' I complimented, raising just in time to see her nod of approval. 'I am glad to hear that, Chizuru-sama. It is my pleasure to ensure you are comfortable. But as for now, shall we take a walk?' She suggested, stepping to the side to gesture to the door at the end of throne room that lead to the courtyard.

My heart was beating so hard I feared she could hear it, but I nodded despite my anxiety. 'Of course.'

When she started to walk, I followed her. Her movements were slow and deliberate as if she needed to consciously think about each move before she made it, and I remembered then what Yui had said last night. She'd explained that Hanami was often weak due to her visions and was in a state of continuous prophecy just as her mother had been before her death. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to be so powerful yet so frail at the same time, proving that there was indeed a price to power.

I wiped the sweat off my hands as Hanami reached out to open the door, a task I almost did for her given her infirmity, but it seemed to open without much effort. The wind was biting as we stepped out onto the stone steps.

I grit my teeth and shoved my hands into my obi, wishing I had have known we were going outside or I would have brought one of the many capes hanging in my cupboard. The sun had risen enough now that the light was more golden than pink and it doused the strange pale plants in the garden with a soft glow.

Hanami shut the door after us, descending down the stairs. 'It must be strange for you to see such a city, is it not? I presume you have not seen one like it before.' She assumed, her crisp voice slicing through the air like a knife. It took me by surprise how well her voice suited the sound of the wind, haunting yet delicate. I could even feel her power in it too. I could feel it all around me as if it was her presence alone that sustained the life of the mountain.

I nodded. 'It is quite strange, yes, but it's amazing too. I never thought a village like this could exist, nor did I think I would ever visit one. I am grateful for Kazama-san for taking me here. I've enjoyed being on this journey with him.' I admitted, biting my lip as the last sentence came out without permission. It was the truth of course, but the words may have sounded a little more affectionate than I'd intended.

Hanami veered off towards the left, following a stone path. 'It wasn't too long ago that you feared him, am I correct?' She asked, even though I knew she was already aware of the answer, so I was forced to admit the truth. 'Yes, it's true, and for many years too. I didn't understand him or what he was but it turns out he's not the person I thought him to be. He's shown me things about myself I could never have discovered on my own.' I mumbled, unused to talking about him so openly but I had no choice when not only could I lie, but I was standing next to a girl who could see my past and figure out the truth even if I denied it.

Hanami and I threaded slowly through the garden beds, each one filled with hardy looking plants. 'I am sure he finds relief in knowing you no longer think of him in such a way. It's possible that without this journey your relationship would have been irreparable, so you are fortunate he was in Kyoto before you left for Ezo by yourself. But then again, it was simply fate.' She said airily.

Her words made me think about what would have happened if I had have indeed never gone on this journey with him. Would I always have hated him? Would I have always have thought he was a monster, even though deep down he was caring and thoughtful? It almost upset me to think about how much I would have missed out on if I hadn't have got to know him. I would have never grown to like him either. Never have developed feelings for him.

When I said nothing, Hanami didn't speak. Instead she led us over to a small semi-circle bench located parallel to a hedge. They weren't the type of evergreen hedges I sometimes saw in the front gardens of the wealthier inhabitants of Kyoto, but pale and thorny.

After we'd sat down, I decided I couldn't take the suspense anymore. 'So, what did you need to see me for, Hanami-sama?' I asked, trying not to sound too suspicious. She must have known I was edgy because I wasn't exactly hiding my fear very well, but she didn't mention it. 'I wish to speak to you about the festival tonight.' She said simply.

I let out a soft breath of relief. So I really didn't have anything to worry about. The festival was a normal enough topic.

Hanami continued when I didn't say anything. 'I am aware you have already decided to use your gift tonight, Chizuru-sama. And I already know what you have decided to ask. But the question you have chosen I believe should be answered in private.'

I felt my skin flash hot, then cold.

Was she referring to the question about the Shinsengumi?

My throat grew tighter and tighter until I could barely breathe, dread seizing my stomach. This couldn't be happening, surely. My friends couldn't be dead, not after I'd come this far and not after everything they'd already gone through. It was impossible that what I feared what coming true.

'Ok.' I said weakly, unable to even look at her.

I felt like throwing up by the time she eventually spoke. 'Chizuru-sama, the war is already drawing to a close up north. You will reach it in time to see the last battle, a battle which your friends will not win. But even so, they will be safe. No harm will come to any of them on the battlefield, I can assure you, but there comes a warning with this good news.'

I was so overcome with emotion at knowing they were safe that I didn't really hear what else she'd said. The tears rushed to my eyes before I could quell them.

They were alive. My friends were _alive_.

After all these months of fear and uncertainty it was like a white light had pierced the darkness inside of me. I'd been living with the weight of their fates on my shoulders all this time and I had just been liberated, _finally_ liberated, and I was so overjoyed at the news that I could barely contain myself as I sat there next to Hanami. I wanted to spring to my knees and scream with happiness.

I felt a gloved hand press to my thigh and I wiped the tears from my face before I looked at her. Even though I couldn't see her face I knew she wanted to add something else, and it was then that I remembered what else she'd said.

There was a warning.

Hanami removed her hand from my thigh, placing it in her lap. 'Soon you will have to make a choice, Chizuru-sama. You are coming to the beginning of a dark forest, approaching two paths; one of light and one of dark. Should you choose the darkness then there is only an eternal night which awaits you, a darkness which once you have entered you cannot escape. This is the message I uncovered upon searching through your fate.' She foretold, letting the silence embrace us once more.

A dark forest. Two paths. Light and dark.

My dream.

My mouth dried up and my enthusiasm over the Shinsengumi dulled slightly. I didn't know what that dream had meant. I didn't know what it had been trying to tell me, and it was terrifying now that Hanami had brought it up. And what did she mean by 'an eternal night'? Did that mean I would die?

I was terrified as I opened my mouth to speak. 'What… what does that mean? An eternal night?' I asked feebly. Hanami only looked down at her lap, the motion exposing her dainty ear to the cold. 'Should you choose the darkness then you shall find out.'

After that answer, I said nothing more.

I had to admit her foreboding prophecy was getting to me more than I thought anything like that could, but for that moment I forced myself to rejoice in the survival of the Shinsengumi. I would probably be bouncing around for the rest of the week knowing that I hadn't been too late and Kazama was sure to interrogate me about my jovial spirits. It was only when the burden of fear had been taken from me did I realise just how much it had been weighing me down. I felt like I could breathe again.

Suddenly Hanami stood up, peering down at me. 'We shall head inside now, Chizuru-sama, as it is getting cold.' She instructed, and I did as she asked.

I smiled as I rose from the bench and brushed my kimono off before following her, and she carried on with the conversation as we returned to the building. 'Now that I have answered your question in advance, will you still choose to ask another one tonight?' She inquired, walking side by side with me. I slowed my pace don't so she didn't exert herself, realising then that she'd brought up a valid point; I was now free to ask another question.

And that question had already been decided. I would ask about my middle power.

I nodded. 'I will.' I divulged, understanding in that moment that if I learned tonight what it was then maybe I could start trying to use it on this journey. Depending on what it was, maybe Kazama would be able to help me.

Hanami pushed the doors open once again and allowed me to enter before her. 'I look forward to hearing it.' She said in her ghostly voice, shutting the door and sealing out the cold. 'It shall be a wonderful night as we have spared no expense. I sincerely hope that you make the most of your time with us and take advantage of the festival. This is a perfect opportunity for you to learn more about your people.'

I smiled, agreeing wholeheartedly. 'I hope so.' I said, unable to wipe the smile off my face once I'd put it there. I was going to make sure I enjoyed myself tonight and it wouldn't be difficult now that I knew the Shinsengumi were alive and safe. Although her warning was still hovering in the back of my mind I pushed it to the side and told myself I could worry about it later. I was scared of the premonition, I had to admit, but Hanami had given me a great gift in answering my question favourably.

I would not let anything ruin my happiness for the moment.

Hanami dismissed herself before we came to the stairs. 'I will retreat to my chambers now, Chizuru-sama. You may return to your own as well and await Hato's summoning. Once the tour is over then we shall convene in the Hall for lunch, but until then I bid you a pleasant morning.' She said, bowing to me.

I returned the gesture. 'Thank you, Hanami-sama. I will see you soon.'

And with that she disappeared.

As soon as her presence retreated from the air around me, I ascended the stairs with a spring in my step.

Now that I was alone I let the full extent of my delight to settle on my face. The tears were already beginning to resurface and I knew I wouldn't be able to hold them in. But I didn't want to anyway. I had every right to cry as I'd ever felt this happy in my life, and as I let them fall from my eyes I didn't bother to catch them before they dripped off my face and onto the front of my kimono.

Everyone was safe.

Hijikata was safe.

My heart swelled at the knowledge, my joy so potent at this point that I almost collapsed. The man I'd spent the last four years was alive, just as I'd hoped he would be. The man that I'd fallen in love with all those years ago was getting closer and closer.

I didn't know if I would tell Kazama that they were alive but I already knew it would come up at some stage. There was no way I could hide this from him for too much longer particularly because I would no longer react to his taunts about their deaths, a cruel topic he sometimes spoke about when he wished to quench my hope. But there was nothing he could say now that could destroy my elation.

As I entered my room and shut my door behind me, I went straight over to my bed and rolled onto it.

With the agony of uncertainty gone, I could truly be excited about what was going to happen tonight. I was already relishing in the feeling of becoming more acquainted with my culture and my kin, and probably above all I was eager to discover my middle power. Kazama had said that some could be as strong as clan powers and others were virtually useless so I hoped mine would be the former, but right now I felt like I would be satisfied with anything. Being raised as a human meant any power was still mind-blowing to me even though I'd known my true race for a while now. I wondered if it would ever become less surreal, but somehow I doubted that.

What I did know, however, was that tonight I would discover a little more about my people, about who I was.

Who I'd always been.


	35. The gift

**Hey guys :D I know I've been pretty slack with posting lately so I wrote a nice long chapter to make up for it. And I'm so exhausted :D I hope you enjoy it and please review :D**

 **ALSO I BEG OF YOU TO READ THE NOTES AT THE END ONCE YOU'VE FINISHED THE CHAPTER.**

 **Yona0** \- Haha that's ok :D I was slightly confused why there were 2 reviews but it makes sense now :D and oooh, very interesting interpretation of 'eternal night'. It always intrigues me what you guys come up with! Essentially I wanted you all to make your own meanings of it, but I chose the phrase 'eternal night' because of her dream: Hijikata's path was shown with a moon above it, a path without light, and if she chooses that then the darkness will never end. Kazama is the only one who can bring her the light :D hope you like this new chapter!

 **Evy22** \- Merciiiiii :3 cest gentille, jespere que tu aimes cet chapitre aussi!

 **RoxyandherProxy** \- Hi there :D to answer your question, Chizuru won't be expected to give Hanami anything as it was Hanami who volunteered to give her the answer :D and I like your interpretation of the meaning haha, I said to Yona0 above that I enjoy reading what you guys decipher from the more cryptic events in my story :D Sorry about the wait for the last chapter, too, but I tried really hard to write this one quickly to make up for it :D please enjoy it : )

 **Nashane** \- Thanks for the review :D thankfully you might even get to see Shiranui's blush in this chapter too :D and I'm so, so excited to finally be able to post this chapter and for you to find out some more about Chizuru's powers! This was one of my favourites to write, and I hope you like reading it :D

 **Blue** \- Naww thanks for the review :D and don't worry about it, I'm honoured that you've enjoyed my story thus far, and I always love it when people say they like my story! Reviews can be anything you want to say to the author and not just about input or advice :D so thank you for taking the time to tell me what you think :D

 **Cassiel** \- Salut ! Ca fait longtemps, mais je comprend completement :D j'espere que tu as reussi tes etudes et que tu aies beaucoup de temps pour lire mes chapitres! Cet chapitre est super, super long mais jespere que ca ne te derange pas :D Aussi, je suis un peu curieuse… quand tu lis mon histoire, est-ce que tu traduis les chapitres en utilisant le site ou google traduction, etc? Jespere que tu aime cet chapitre ! :D

 **Sumiko808** \- Heey, thanks for reviewing! It means a lot for you to say you're in love with my fic, and it's my pleasure to update :D I hope you like this newest chapter too :D

 **MayuoftheMoon** \- Aww :3 thank you for the review, it means a lot that you are inspired by my story and my writing! I tried hard to write this chapter really quickly so I didn't make everyone wait for too long, and it's a lengthy chapter so I hope there's plenty to keep you sated until the next instalment. Thank you :D

* * *

 **The gift**

I sighed, trailing my hand over the book on the shelf.

It was just bordering on sunset and I was in my room. After the village tour ages ago we'd had lunch then told we could do what we wanted, so I'd resorted to going through all the books in my bookshelf. The tour had drained me of energy so I'd considered going back to sleep but I didn't want to risk someone coming to my room and seeing me asleep _again_.

Kazama had gone to his room as well after parting from me with one of his embarrassing comments.

 _I shall retreat to my room for a while now, kitten. A few hours sleep would be beneficial for you as well given the late night that awaits us, and in fact you are most welcome to sleep in my bed if you wish. Consider it practice for our married life as we shall share the same bed then too._

I went red at the memory, just as red as I'd gone after he'd said it. There was seriously no end to the delight he got from teasing me like that.

Dismissing the memory, I shifted my attention to the books in front of me. They were sitting neatly in a wooden bookshelf placed beside the en suite door. There were also 2 other bookshelves next to it, ones I was planning to explore once I'd finished with the original. The books were in a mix of Japanese and the language spoken here, and I noticed curiously that they didn't use Japanese characters in their words. Instead they appeared to be the letters contained in the western languages.

As I flicked open all the books in Japanese, I discovered what they were about. There were books covering a range of topics, from nature to history, and I wondered where they had got them from. However, there was a particular book that caught my eye. It was a dull orange-gold with a black spine and the pages were slightly brown in colour. When I opened it I saw it didn't have very many words to a page, just a chunk of centered writing in the middle and some no more than 5 lines long.

I realised then that it was a poetry book.

Flicking through each page, I had to smile to myself. Hijikata would have loved this book. Although I'd heard he had rather poor poetry skills, it had been immensely amusing watching Okita prance around reading out his haiku to everyone. In those occasions I'd been too scared to laugh in case he'd chastised me, but alone here in my room I could afford to let my amusement show. I just hoped we could return to those times once the war was over. Now that I knew they were alive.

Flicking to a random page in the middle of the book, my eyes rested on one that caught my attention.

 _What's the most beautiful thing I hear,_

 _Every day and every night?_

 _Not the birds in the trees,_

 _Singing their mellow songs._

 _What's the most beautiful thing I see,_

 _When I wake and when I sleep?_

 _Not the pink of dusk and dawn,_

 _The colour of their daily dance._

 _And what's the most beautiful thing I feel,_

 _On my skin and in my soul?_

 _Not the soft breeze of spring,_

 _Bringing the promise of summer._

 _The sound of your voice,_

 _The sight of your smile,_

 _The touch of your lips,_

 _You are what is most beautiful._

I let the book rest in my hands for a bit.

It was a love poem, from a man to a woman, and a tender one at that. The name of the author was located at the bottom of the poem but I didn't recognise them, nor did the poem have a title. I just knew that whoever that had been written for was a very special person. I hoped I could mean that much to someone one day.

I was just about to flick to the next poem when someone announced themselves from behind the door. 'Chizuru-sama, its Yuri. May I enter?' She asked, her voice muffled.

I instantly shoved the book to the side but didn't put it with the others, as I was going to read it later. 'Yes you may come in, Yuri-chan.' I permitted. She swung the door open wider and entered, another 2 girls following close behind her. They had pale hair tied back with a blue ribbon and eyes the colour of the sky, and I stared at them blankly as they shuffled into my room with their arms filled with an assortment of cases and boxes. Yuri was holding an extremely long cloth bag that looked like it contained bundles of fabric.

She bowed to me, as did the other girls. 'Moku and Sei have come to prepare you for tonight. The festival will start shortly as everyone is already starting to gather in the courtyard, but hopefully you are ready a little early so we have time to make adjustments to your dress if needed, although it's unlikely such changes will need to be made. Hanami-sama was the one who provided the measurements.' She said as one girl moved a small chair into my line of sight. She brought it over into the middle of the room and I watched silently as they started to place the boxes and bags around it.

Did they really need all this stuff to get me ready?

I tore my eyes away from the suspicious looking packages. 'Uh… ok. Where do you want me to go?' I asked, although I already knew the answer. Yuri gestured to the seat where I'd presumed I'd be sitting anyway. 'Please sit here. I will take my leave now but will return soon to see how things are progressing.' She said softly, bowing deeply before she scuttled out of the room and shut the door behind her.

I swallowed, plonking down on the chair obediently as one of the girls smiled at me. 'Good evening, Chizuru-sama. My name is Moku and this is my sister Sei. It is nice to meet you.' She said timidly, but she didn't look as soft-spoken as Yuri did. I returned the smile to both her and her sister. 'Nice to meet you both. Thanks for helping me get ready.' I said, and she beamed at my gratitude. They both seemed in awe of me.

Just before Moku went to say something else, Sei interrupted softly. 'Would you mind letting your hair down? I will brush it and put it up and Moku will do your makeup. Once you are ready we shall get you into your dress.'

Dress? Did she mean a kimono?

As soon as a comb started to glide through my hair, Moku gestured for me to look up at her. 'I'll start with your make-up now.' She stated, rummaging through one of the boxes. I realised then that they were filled with a range of things: makeup, accessories and hair ornaments. I hadn't been aware that I'd need my hair and makeup done, and I was quite curious about this 'dress'. I could see so much bundled fabric in the bag and it made me wonder just what kind of dress I'd be made to wear. I'd never worn one before as they weren't exactly common attire in Japan.

Moku pulled out a small black pot and a brush. I recognised it as foundation as I'd had to wear it as a geisha but this time it wasn't pure white, but a pale ivory. It was still much paler than my normal skin tone but she didn't seem to notice as she lathered it on and blended it onto every inch of my face.

Although I was excited to look like a girl again, there was some part of me that panicked at the thought of people seeing me dolled up. Most of that fear came from Kazama but I'd learned from experience that makeup and fancy clothes attracted unwanted attention from others as well. I wasn't exactly accustomed to people staring at me, and even though I knew I wasn't in danger here I could just sense I'd be fawned over.

Moku interrupted my thoughts after a few seconds. 'So have you enjoyed your stay so far, Chizuru-sama?' She asked politely. I wanted to nod but I couldn't because she was doing my makeup. 'Yes, I love it here. It's beautiful.' I admitted, unable to smile either as she sailed the foundation brush over the space between my nose and mouth.

Moku appeared genuinely pleased. 'Oh, that is good. We've heard you have lived with humans ever since you fled your village. What was that like?' She asked, lowering her eyes briefly as if the question was taboo. I'd detected that all onis here acted this guarded when speaking about humans.

I looked past her to the bookcases as I responded. 'Uh… well… I like living with them. I stayed in Edo for most of my life until I moved to Kyoto in search of my adoptive father. He was a doctor so I'd often help him take care of his patients and check on them in their homes, so I learned a lot about the human world. It's all I've ever known, I suppose.' I murmured as she coated my eyes and eyebrows with a thin layer of the paste.

Sei was beginning to part my hair when she intercepted Moku's reply. 'Wow, you stayed with humans for all that time? I can't imagine that. What were they like?' She gasped. I couldn't see her because she was standing behind me but I could feel her surprise. 'They're just normal people…most are kind and thoughtful, and always willing to help out if it's required. Even when my friends found out I was an oni they still vowed to protect me, even though they didn't really understand what I was.'

'Your friends? Are they the ones you're travelling to Ezo to find?' Moku inquired as she put down the pot and brush, beginning to sift through another bag for something else. I nodded, staying still as Sei continued to work on my hair. 'Yeah. Kazama-san was already going there so he let me tag along with him.' I murmured, blushing as I mentioned his name.

I felt both their gazes intensify on me.

I lowered my eyes as Moku stood up again, now holding another brush and a dish of powder. 'I can see you and Kazama-sama get along well.' She noted, patting pale powder over the foundation.

I already knew where this conversation was going.

'Yeah. We get along… well.' I mumbled, refusing to look at her at all now because I could sense she was getting sheepish. Sei giggled from behind me, making me blush deeper. 'You are very fortunate to be travelling with him, Chizuru-sama. I can see he cares for you a lot. I must admit I am envious of you for having someone like him by your side.' She remarked casually, but her words had flustered me beyond all reason. I'd kind of already known Kazama had cared for me, but for other people to notice it as well it must have been more obvious than I'd thought.

I said nothing to that and I saw them exchange an all-knowing glance.

Desperate for them not to ask about Kazama again, I posed my own question. 'So are you both maids at the estate?' I queried just as Sei started to put my hair up. She was forming two buns on top of my head, pinning them in place with thin white pins. I had no mirror so I couldn't see what I looked like yet but I'd never had my hair up like this before.

Sei's voice was slow when she replied because she was concentrating. 'Uh… we are but we only come into the estate when required. Normally our duties in the village are as harvesters. Yamamura has numerous vegetable plantations at the centre of the ranges that can only be accessed from one direction, and after we pick the produce we deliver it to the hidden chambers located within this mountain which serve as food storage areas. Anything necessary that we cannot grow or make is sourced from a human village located a 3 days' ride away but generally this is only for emergencies, as we do not like being dependant on humans.' She explained.

I soaked in everything she told me, intrigued by how the village functioned. 'So how many onis go to the village when you need something?' I asked, finding it hard to believe that anyone with platinum white hair could pass as a human. Moku answered for her sister. 'It depends on what we need and how much. Most of the time it's only Hato-sama as he is in charge of scouting. Over the years he has built a rapport with many traders in that area, and plus he has this way with the humans. I think he has developed a soft spot for them, much like you have.' She said, shrugging, before dusting my cheeks with pink powder.

I sat there tolerantly as she did so, stunned at how Hato may have been like me. I never would have thought he would be sympathetic towards humans even though he did appear to be rather gentle, and I guessed that just proved that those who spent more time around them realised they weren't as evil as they were made out to be.

Sei arranged the next bun and pinned it in place as Moku requested that I close my eyes. She grazed another smaller brush coated with eyeshadow over my eyelids and up to my eyebrows. It was rather relaxing to have my makeup done but the curiosity of what I looked like was now burning a hole inside me. I hoped I wouldn't resemble a geisha after this.

Moku added more colour to my eyelids and curved it slightly around the bottom of my eye too. 'You should see your dress, Chizuru-sama.' She suddenly sighed. 'It took 3 months and 5 seamstresses to make, and it is definitely beautiful. It will be very flattering on your body I can just see.' She assured me, pulling the brush away. I opened my eyes, her smile the first thing I saw. 'Oh… so what's it look like?' I asked, secretly scared about what they'd make me wear, and Moku dismissed my fear with a giggle. 'You'll see it when everything else is done.' She teased as Sei started to rummage around in a box once she's finished pinning my hair up.

I looked down at the long bag on the floor, trying to make out the dress' shape but I couldn't. I tetchily accepted that I would have to wait a bit longer to see it and Moku dipped a thin brush into a pot of black eyeliner. 'Would you be able to close your eyes again?' She asked, and I obliged without complaint as she applied the eyeliner to my lash line.

Sei found what she was looking for eventually, two long strings of blue flowers, and she coiled them around each bun and secured them in place as she had done to my hair. While they both fussed over me I contemplated what Kazama would be wearing tonight. Would he be in a usual haori and yukata or would he be dressed up as well? Was he getting ready right now? It was beginning to get quite dark now and Yuri had said that everyone was already beginning to assemble in the courtyard. If he was already out there with the others then it was strange that he hadn't come past my room. Maybe he was still asleep.

Moku finished painting my lips with mauve lipstick, finally allowing herself to take a step back to admire her handiwork. 'I have to say I'm jealous of your beauty, Chizuru-sama. It's very characteristic of the Yukimuras. Your parents were beautiful too, and your mother especially.' She sighed, clasping her hands in awe. I was truly flattered but I couldn't help but feel a spark of pain at her words, as they'd reminded me of what I'd lost. But that wasn't her fault and I'd told myself I'd be happy tonight, so I thanked her genuinely.

When Sei had also finished, she came around the front to beam at me. 'Now we get to put you in the dress!' She twittered, helping her sister to lift the bag off the ground. I sat up straighter in my chair as Moku shifted from foot to foot, barely able to contain her excitement as she started to undo the buttons down the side of the bag. I was on the edge of my seat too as I waited for her to pull it out.

I saw a flash of blue fabric before Moku carefully drew it into the light, and when I saw the dress my mouth fell open.

It was made of a deep blue fabric, high collared with capped sleeves, and as Moku excitedly spun it around to show me the other side I saw that it was backless. It was embroidered down the side with silver snowflakes and dark blue scales had been sewn around the neck area. There was a long navy ribbon that tied around the waist.

It was _stunning_.

Moku and Sei started laughing as they saw my expression. 'Do you like it?' They both asked at the same time, grins plastered on both their faces. I could only nod as Sei reached out to tug me off the chair. 'It's quite a sophisticated piece of clothing so we will need to help you get changed. You may leave your underwear on but you won't be able to wear chest bindings as the dress is backless.' She warned as if she'd been told by Yuri about my fear of people seeing me unclothed.

I bit my lip, mortified that I would have to be almost naked in front of strangers. 'Umm, ok.' I agreed hesitantly, untying my obi when I was told to. They didn't seem to be as awkward about the situation as I was, chatting enthusiastically to each other as they prepared the dress for wearing. They undid the ribbon at the back and the buttons holding the collar closed, opening it up and holding it off the ground.

I shed my kimono unwilling, but before I took off my bindings Moku motioned for me to step into the dress. 'We will pull it up over your chest so when you pull off your bindings you will be covered.' She explained, and I was thankful that I was able to preserve at least some of my modesty. I never thought I would ever be standing in front of 2 other girls in nothing more than underwear and a bandage around my chest.

I hurriedly did as they'd asked, remarking how soft the fabric was as they pulled it up over my waist. It was very tight around my hips and upper thighs, and it billowed out slightly from just above my knees. It had a short train edged with white lace, the same white lace which trimmed the rest of the dress' edges. Even the sleeves were bordered with it.

Sei drew it up over my chest. 'Ok, you can take your bindings off now.' She said, holding the front up so no one would be able to see anything. I hastily but awkwardly peeled off my bindings and threw them on the ground, instinctively pressing the gown to my chest to hide myself. I was so embarrassed yet I was relieved the hard part was over, but I tried not to think about how much worse it was going to be when they had to take it off me again.

They arranged the fabric before beginning to button it up. All the fastenings were at the back, one pulling the collar closed again and the other in the form of the ribbon. It was sewn into the dress at the front but at the back it had to be tied like a normal bow, the excess ribbon falling all the way down to the train of the dress. The gown fit me perfectly despite it being tight but I suspected it was supposed to be tight. I was very self-conscious about the open back because I'd never exposed that much flesh in my life and the fit of the dress didn't really leave much to the imagination either. It stuck to my curves and hugged my behind, showing off the shape of my body in a way that a kimono or tunic never could.

It was only then that the most horrendous thought occurred to me.

Kazama would see me in this.

 _Urgh_.

Moku saw the look of absolute horror cross my face, but she mistook the meaning for it. 'Don't worry.' She said. 'The dress is tight but that's just because it hasn't been worn before.'

I grimaced, her explanation doing nothing to console me. Knowing that he would see me wearing such a dress was the worst humiliation I could possibly endure; worse than the mouse, worse than feeding him a cupcake, and worse than admitting last night that our date had been romantic.

I was just about to start looking for somewhere to hide for the rest of the night when Sei bent down to gather things from one of the boxes. 'Once we put these accessories on you then we will fix the headpiece to your hair.' She said, Moku kneeling down to help her. I didn't know what she meant by a headpiece but I couldn't care less at this stage. Whatever they wanted to put on me from now on would be nothing compared to the dress I was wearing.

They both stood up holding an assortment of gold chains and rings. 'Can you hold out your hands?' Sei asked, doing her best not to tangle the chains together. I held out my arms and watched with mild embarrassment as they slipped gold rings onto all of my fingers and a bracelet to my right hand. The bracelet was connected to the middle ring by a chain and was adorned with carvings of golden leaves.

Moku continued to attend to my hands as Sei came around to my side. 'These are fake earrings, so you don't need to have pierced ears. Could you turn your head to the side?' She asked. I was growing more unenthusiastic about tonight by the second but I tilted my head to expose each of my ears in turn. She clipped both earrings to my ear lobes, each one a singular pearl, and Moku let me drop my hands. The chain and rings clinked together softly as I moved and Sei stepped back when she'd finished.

I could barely look either of them in the eye because I was so self-conscious. I'd never been dressed up like this before.

Sei pressed her hands to her cheeks as if to hide a blush. 'Wow, Chizuru-sama, you look amazing.' She complimented, eyes wide with reverence as her sister located the headpiece they'd mentioned. I went bright red, unsure of if they could see it through my makeup. 'Thanks.' I mumbled, earning a giggle from Sei.

Moku stood up almost on cue, and when I saw what she was holding I forgot briefly about my discomfort.

In her hands was a headpiece in the shape of two long blue horns, glittering in the moonlight that had now started to pour through the windows. They were slightly curved and came together at the base. I'd never seen such an ornament before.

Was that going on my head?

Confirming my theory, Moku held it up in the air as if it was sacred. 'Please sit down, Chizuru-sama, and we shall secure the headpiece.' She bid.

I virtually collapsed back onto the chair and she approached me once I was seated, setting it on my head. 'What is that?' I asked with a wavering voice as they secured it into my hair. It had a strange solid band that slipped under the cover of my hair and fixed it to my scalp and they added pins to it for good measure. The pins were white so they were perfectly visible in my dark hair but I didn't want to say anything.

Sei was still fussing over the ornament as she answered. 'This is a crown of sorts. It is worn by clan leaders and their immediate relatives to signify their position as royalty. You probably wore a smaller version when you were a child.' She deduced, placing the extra pins back in a box. I reached up to touch the ornament gingerly, but it wasn't familiar to me. Indeed I may have worn something like this as a child but no memories came to mind.

Moku put her hands on her hip as she marvelled what she'd created. 'There's only one thing left.' She revealed, giving me a satisfied smile. I blinked vacantly, waiting for her to elaborate. 'What's that?' I asked quietly, petrified of what else they would make me wear.

Thankfully Sei started to pack all the boxes up. 'You need to assume your oni form, of course. It would have been pretty silly of us otherwise to put white pins in your hair and foundation on your face that was too pale for your skin.' She giggled. 'In your oni form the pins will blend in with your hair and the colour of your makeup will make sense as well. Have you ever transformed before?'

I tried to keep my face neutral but deep down I was surprised I'd need to be in my oni form. I should have predicted it anyway because I was, after all, in an oni village but I hadn't even considered it.

I stood up off the chair, trying not to move my head too much because I was paranoid the headpiece would fall off. 'Yeah, a few times… but I can't do it around people very well.' I mumbled, almost ashamed. Moku smiled to mitigate my embarrassment. 'It's ok, we can leave for a bit until you're ready. We will return these boxes to Hanami-sama, so do you think you can change in that amount of time?' She asked understandingly.

I was grateful for their thoughtfulness, and I nodded. 'I can do that.'

Once they'd received approval, they began to gather the boxes and bags back into their arms. 'Ok, then. We will see you soon Chizuru-sama.' Moku said. I watched as they waddled towards the door with their arms full.

When they shut the door behind them, I was left in peace.

I immediately let out a breath of relief. I was glad they had agreed to leave for a while because there was no way I could have transformed in front of two strangers. I couldn't even do it in front of Kazama and I'd been travelling with him for more than 2 months.

Sighing, I sat back down on the chair and closed my eyes. I wanted to do this as quickly as possible because I didn't actually know how long it would take for them to deliver the items back to Hanami, and I didn't want to be interrupted mid-transformation.

As I retreated into my mind, the strands of power were buzzing energetically.

It had been a long time since I'd been in my oni form so secretly I was overjoyed I could return to it. It was as if my power was also eager to be utilised because it didn't fight me as much as it normally did, and it let me take a tendril of gold without much effort. It made me proud to think that maybe I really was getting better at doing this and that in the near future I would be capable of transforming without meditation like Kazama could.

I lifted the shining thread to my skin and allowed it to bind to my flesh. I could feel it changing me on both the inside and outside, the energy flowing through every fibre of muscle and fuelling each and every one of my senses. I began to hear the heartbeats around me, feel the presence of other onis, and smell the roses on my bedside table.

Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and I had to open my eyes, and I was rewarded with the sharp vision I'd grown to adore. My hair was now white and my skin was pale and glowing, exuding a beautiful radiance that captivated me. My sharp claws and oni horns had sprouted without me feeling them and I had to smile as I realised it _had_ grown easier. I'd just proved that I was getting closer to transforming with more ease. Maybe I'd even be able to do it in front of others someday.

When I stood up again, I already knew what I was going to do next.

I lifted the front of my dress up so I could walk to the bathroom. Now that I was completely ready and had assumed my oni form, I was dying to see what I looked like. I was scared too but my curiosity was overpowering enough to quench my fear for the moment. I didn't know what to expect given I was wearing such strange clothes and so much makeup.

I stepped into the doorway of the bathroom, facing the mirror.

For at least a minute I stared at the strange woman staring back at me, refusing to believe that this person was me. My eyelids were covered in silver and pink eyeshadow, perfectly accentuating the colour of my eyes, and the shape of the eyeliner made my eyes look bigger. The colours drew even more attention to just how much they were verging on being more pink than gold.

And the dress… it was exquisite. It framed my curves perfectly, and when I turned around to examine the backless section my skin was milky and unblemished.

I didn't want to be vain, but I couldn't stop myself. I was… kind of beautiful.

Taking a few breaths to regain composure, I smoothed down the front of the gown. If I looked at my reflection again then it would be even harder for me to conceive how I had looked like that. Now I needed to focus on preparing myself for _others_ to see me.

For _Kazama_ to see me.

I groaned inwardly, suddenly feeling hot all over. How was I going to fend him off now? It was hard enough when I'd just rolled out of bed with messy hair and drool still on my face. If he saw me like this then it was guaranteed he would be even more persistent than usual and I couldn't promise myself that I would be able to resist him either.

All of a sudden, there was a knock on my door.

I bolted back into the main room, standing nervously beside the bookshelves. 'Uh… who is it?' I asked cautiously, panic clouding my mind.

As I heard a girl's voice, relief flooded me. 'It's Yui. Can I come in?' She asked. The tension in my body deflated and I slouched my shoulders, thankful it hadn't been Kazama. 'Yes, you can come in.' I said timidly, trying to keep a brave face as she opened the door and walked inside.

When she saw me, her eyes lit up.

She instantly appeared in front of me, causing me to jump, but my fright was rapidly replaced with embarrassment as she took both of my hands. 'Chizuru-sama! Your oni form is stunning. Wow! And that dress!' She gasped, beholding me with wonder. I blushed and averted my eyes. 'Thanks, Yui-san.' I said, noticing she was also wearing a dress. It was high collared and short sleeved like mine but it wasn't backless nor was it tight around the hips. The dusty pink fabric fell loosely to the floor from her waist, covered in embroidered flowers. Her hair was down as well and it reached to her waist in straight strands, a crown of pink flowers nestled at the base of her white headpiece.

Her beauty was entrancing.

Yui squeezed my hands tightly, her smile almost blinding me. 'I knew this dress would suit you, I just knew it! Turn around and show me the back.' She ordered avidly, but before I could do as she'd asked she was already behind me as if it would kill her to wait the extra second for me to turn around myself.

I blushed as she sighed, reaching out to adjust the ribbon at the small of my back. 'It fits you perfectly. I'm so jealous of you, Chizuru-sama, and you have pink eyes too which really isn't fair.' She laughed, coming back around to face me. I found it hard to believe that someone like her could ever be jealous of me, but I was flattered anyway. 'Thanks, Yui-san. You look beautiful too.' I said, squeezing her hand as she'd done to me.

She beamed at me. 'Aw thanks, Chizuru-sama. Oh! By the way, everyone is waiting in the throne room. If you put on your shoes then we will head down.' She offered. I nodded, looking at the plain slip on shoes on the floor that I'd kicked off earlier. 'Uh… ok.' I said, letting her hand go to walk over to them.

I went to slip my foot into one when Yui made a horrified noise. 'Oh, no, Chizuru-sama. Not those shoes. Did Moku-chan not give you the blue ones?' She asked, materialising in front of me and picking them up off the floor. I watched her throw them into my bathroom like they were something dirty, and I bit my lip. 'No.' I gulped.

Yui sighed, the way Sen used to sigh when something inconvenient had occurred. 'It's ok, I will get them for you.' She promised, not waiting for my reply before she appeared beside the door. 'Stay here I will be back in a few seconds.'

I didn't have enough time to say 'ok' before she moved into the hall and shut my door.

My mind was boggled from her speedy departure and the intensity of her personality, and I felt like I'd just aged 10 years when I sat down on the end of my bed. It would take a special type of person to be around someone so energetic all day and I found it amusing that she was the stark opposite of her brother. Hato was meek and soft-spoken and therefore the polar opposite of Yui.

Suddenly I heard her voice again, but it was coming from the other side of the door. 'Oh, Kazama-sama! You look very handsome tonight.' She trilled in her sing-song voice.

I froze, shooting up off the end of my bed and twirling around 3 times on the spot looking for something to hide behind. They were just outside my door.

Kazama's smooth voice cut through the stone walls and straight into my rattled brain. 'Thank you, Yui.' He asked rather warmly, unperturbed that she'd called him handsome.

I saw the handle turn and I stood in the centre of my room like a startled animal as Yui started to question him. 'Are you looking for Chizuru-sama? She's just in here but I was on my way to get her some proper shoes. Do you want to see her?'

 _No! Don't ask him if he wants to see me!_

I heard Kazama chuckle. 'Indeed. I was just coming to collect her myself, actually. I will wait with her while you get what she needs.' He said, and I saw the handle turn even more.

Yui seemed pleased with this agreement. 'Ok! I'll be back in a bit.'

Without waiting for the handle to turn fully, I sprung into my bathroom and hid behind the wall. It wasn't like this would protect me from him indefinitely but it had been an instinct to hide. I kicked myself for the reaction, though, because when Kazama finally found me he would know what I was doing.

When the door creaked open, I sensed Yui had already gone.

At first he didn't say anything as he stepped into my room. I could hear his heart beating and the breath rushing in and out of his lungs, and smell the calming scent of his skin even from in here. I hoped he couldn't sense all that from me too.

Suddenly he sighed. 'Chizuru, what are you doing?' He asked, making me bite my lip. It sounded like he knew where I was, not that I could have hidden anywhere else. I swallowed, begging for him not to come in. 'Umm…' I paused, trying to think of something to say without lying to him. 'I'm just here. In the bathroom.'

That hadn't been his actual question, but I couldn't have said 'I'm hiding from you'.

Kazama sighed again, and he started walking towards the en suite doorway. I went into full frenzy mode, trying to work out if I should pretend I was doing something or not. If he walked in and found me standing here idly he would know I was trying to hide, but if I pretended I was… cleaning or something then maybe I could fool him.

I fumbled around for one of the cloths sitting beside the bath, cringing as the cold dampness connected with my skin. I feebly started scrubbing the ceramic, shaking my head briefly at how ridiculous this was going to look. I should have just sucked it up and stayed in the main room, dealt with his transfixion for a while, then carried on with the rest of the night as normal. I was only prolonging my own torture.

When Kazama came to a stop in the doorway, he said nothing.

I closed my eyes and prayed to the heavens that I wouldn't wake up tomorrow morning, continuing to clean the bath even though he was standing there watching me. I could feel his eyes drilling into my body, analysing my exposed back and my behind, and it didn't help my case that I was bending over too. I really was just making everything so much worse than it needed to be.

I sighed, standing up and placing the cloth on the bench when I decided I couldn't take it anymore. 'Done.' I tried to say as convincingly as possibly, but my voice came out awkward and weak. I dried my hands on a nearby towel and made sure he could see none of my face, taking my time to get all the moisture off my hands so it wouldn't rust the jewellery.

After a painfully long silence, I gathered all the courage I had to turn around. I couldn't look at him so I focused instead on the bottom of his burgundy cloak, the base embroidered with red and gold flames, and his hands peeking out from under the fabric. His fingers were adorned with gold rings as mine were and his hands were clawed, meaning he was in his oni form. I had known that anyway, as his presence had fried me alive even when he'd been standing in the hall with Yui.

Suddenly he was right there, right in front of me, and his fingertips were under my chin.

'K… Kazama-sa…' I went to scold, but before I could finish his name he had lifted my face to meet his.

I felt my whole body melt as our eyes met. He was wearing the same headpiece that I was except red, the white light around him so blazing that I almost had to squint. His snowy white hair emitted its own glow too and his oni horns had emerged from his forehead, his perfect fangs also visible through his parted lips. I could see right into the depths of his molten eyes and almost into his soul as well, and I was wholly encapsulated by the array of colours I could see swirling inside them. With my oni vision, in his oni form, he was more beautiful than any man I'd seen. Even Hijikata.

His claws slowly slid along my jawline, the touch of his skin filling me with a sense of elation. This was normally the time when I deflected my eyes but this time I couldn't. He was simply too mesmerising.

I was still heavily transfixed by him but nonetheless managed a coy blush, feeling my body soften as his fingers continued their course over my face. He slid his thumb over my chin and then lifted the hand he was holding up to his mouth. My heart was thundering behind my ribs as he kissed my hand, then my fingers, all without severing eye contact. I was mere seconds of losing my mind.

Suddenly he moved my hand down to his chest, guiding my palm past his cloak and to the yukata underneath. 'This…' He started, pausing to press my hand to his heart and holding it there without freeing me from his fiery gaze. It was beating almost as hard as mine and just as fast, and I could hear it too as it thumped against my palm with no signs of slowing down. When I focused on my own heartbeat I noticed they were almost in sync.

I saw him swallow. 'This is what you do to me.' He said softly.

Even if I had wanted to speak I couldn't have. Not only did I not have a response, but the way he was looking at me would have evaporated the words before they formed on my tongue. There was such heat in his eyes, a heat that I'd never seen before, and it made me shiver from head to toe when I thought about what it meant.

When I said nothing, he removed my hand from his heart and let it drop back down to my side. I thought he'd done so because he already knew I couldn't say anything but when someone burst in the door I realised it was because he'd sensed someone's approach.

It was of course Yui who had entered. 'Chizuru-sama, Kazama-sama!' She trilled as she strolled inside, utterly oblivious to what had just transpired between the two people she'd addressed.

Kazama and I stared at each other for a little longer before he broke the eye contact, turning around to the white haired girl in her oni form who was frowning near the door. I was still shaken up when I followed him out into the light, unable to tear my eyes off the back of his head.

Yui's frown transformed into an excited smile as she saw us. 'Chizuru-sama, I have your shoes!' She exclaimed with her usual passion, holding up two blue slip on shoes with one hand and latching onto a long fur cape with the other. I gave her a dazed smile, unsure if I'd be able to speak until I tried. 'Oh… thanks, Yui-san.' I said as she appeared in front of me.

She didn't pick up on the dreaminess in my voice and got down on her knees, putting the cape to the side so she could place the shoes at my feet. I was humbled at her show of generosity but my mind was predominantly elsewhere, fixated on the man who had resumed staring at me like he didn't understand what I was.

Once my shoes were on, Yui straightened herself and brushed her dress off. 'Ok, all done. I brought you this cape too because it's pretty cold outside. It's one of my favourites.' She said, unfolding it and helping me clip it on. The fur was white and thick, scraping the ground just like Kazama's cloak.

When I was ready, she motioned for us to leave the room. 'Everyone's already gathered in the throne room and dinner is almost ready too. It's going to be such a delightful meal with the whole village here. We have been truly blessed to be able to hold our festival on such a pleasant night, with such pleasant company.' She chattered, shutting the door behind us and beginning to pace down the hallway.

Kazama and I walked side by side behind her. I saw him every so often turn to stare down at me, and I would have died to know what he was thinking about and what he'd meant when he'd let me feel his heartbeat. My own heart hadn't stopped pounding since then and I was suddenly relieved for having a backless dress because it meant more air got to my skin and soothed the heat sizzling in my veins. The words he'd spoken gave me goosebumps, filled me with adrenaline.

What else would he have said if Yui hadn't have interrupted us? I was both disappointed and thankful that he hadn't had time to elaborate.

When we came to the throne room stairs, I lifted the front of my dress up so I wouldn't trip over. When I descended I saw all of Hanami's family and Hanami herself standing near the door to the courtyard, in addition to a handful of guards and some maids.

We stepped off the stairs and made our way to the others, Yui leading us proudly as if she alone was responsible for our attendance at the festival. 'Chizuru-sama and Kazama-sama have arrived!' She announced, giving me a big smile. I smiled back and tried to ignore all the _oohs_ and _ahs_ from Hanami's family as they ogled at my dress, blushing at Yui as she started to blabber on about how beautiful I was.

I was growing even more desperate to hide, and it was only when Kazama and I approached our companions that I was stunned out of my embarrassment. Amagiri was dressed in a beautiful black cloak with a white snake pattern on both sleeves, black horns atop his head and a peaceful expression on his face. He seemed even stronger than usual dressed the way he was, but he didn't attract my attention for long because there was something very odd about the blue haired oni beside him.

I gaped even wider than I had yesterday as I saw that Shiranui had his hair down. 'Whoa.' Was all I could say as I stared at the straight threads of dark blue that almost reached his waist. It reminded me of Hijikata's hair actually and appeared just as silky, adorned only by the indigo horns sitting on top of his head.

He seemed entirely distraught by my awe, his lips pressed together in a hard line as I stopped directly in front of him. 'It suits you like this.' I admitted mindlessly, reaching out to touch the blue strands. I remarked incredulously that his was softer than my own and as I peered up at him I saw the undeniable redness spreading across his cheeks. He appeared horrified by my contact _and_ my compliment.

I guiltily retracted my curious fingers, oblivious to how Kazama had also tensed as I'd touched him. 'Sorry.' I said, trying not to smile as Shiranui looked at me in the same way I looked at Kazama when he teased me. I felt bad for making him self-conscious but the sight had been so uncommon that I hadn't been able to help myself. This was the first time I'd seen him with his hair down.

Shiranui mumbled something incoherent just as Hanami addressed us all. 'Now that we are all here we may make our way into the courtyard. Food will soon be served.' She said, dressed in an elaborate silk kimono with cream-coloured pearls threaded through her hair. I was transfixed by her aura but when the courtyard doors were opened I was snapped out of my trance.

As soon as the doors had opened fully, the voices of the crowd drowned us all.

There were people spread across every inch of spare space, all in their oni forms and bunched together in family groups with their own small portable fire pits to keep themselves warm. They had brought their own pillows and blankets to sit on and protect their bodies against the cold, and they were all laughing and talking amongst themselves. Children ran back and forth between family groups playing hide and seek behind the hedges and their parents watched them merrily as they enjoyed the company of their family and friends.

I was overwhelmed by the communal spirit, the feeling of belonging. I wanted to be a part of it.

I cringed as I saw hundreds of eyes suddenly turn to stare at us as we exited the building and stepped into the courtyard, and I moved subconsciously closer to Kazama's side. I felt his warmth heating up my body and I ached to touch him for comfort, to hold his hand as we had so often here in Yamamura. It was slowly becoming a habit now and strangely normal too.

Everyone started to cheer as we grew closer to the giant cup-shaped fireplace, the only placed that wasn't cluttered with people. There was not a single person sitting near it even though there was a large grouping of pillows and blankets resting about 10 metres from its base, a place I presumed had been saved for us. The fireplace was unlit even though everyone else's portable fireplaces were already burning and I wondered if it would be set alight at some stage.

We curved around it to the assemblage of cushions and blankets on the ground, and Hanami motioned for us to sit.

I lowered myself down onto a thick grouping of cushions, sinking into the fabric and folding my legs to the side. Kazama sat down close beside me, so close that his cloak was touching my thigh, and I snuck a look up at his face. He was as dazzling in the moonlight as he was in the sun, his pale features rendering me unaware of anything else that was occurring around me. Our proximity only served as a catalyst for my racing heart as did the look in his eyes when he turned to stare at me as well.

I hurriedly looked away just in time to see Hanami start talking. 'Thank you everyone for gathering here in the courtyard.' She said, standing near the fireplace as she addressed her people. 'Tonight we have the honour of holding a special event for our newly arrived guests, but even more fortunate are we to have the pleasure of welcoming Yukimura Chizuru back to her people after so many years of separation. This evening is an opportunity for us to teach her more about our culture and to welcome her into our village, but don't forget this is also a time for you to enjoy yourselves too; a time for all of us to celebrate our heritage and our unity.' She concluded, her small voice not carrying very far but with my oni hearing I could hear every word with perfect clarity and I knew everyone else could as well.

I was humbled by her words, blushing as everyone in the courtyard strained to see me.

Hanami continued once they had settled down. 'As normal, the sacred pit will now be lit to commemorate the beginning of tonight's celebration. However, there will be a break in tradition as Kazama-sama has kindly agreed to do the honours. Once the fire is lit then dinner will be served and you will be free to amuse yourselves before the traditional dance and the gift ceremony later on tonight.' She revealed.

The sounds of excitement that emerged from the crowd were deafening as Hanami moved slowly back over to her family and sat down next to Hato. Even I was kind of thrilled at the news that Kazama would be the one to light the fire, as I'd only seen him use his clan power twice before. He'd only lit candle wicks in my presence so I wondered how we would go igniting such a large fireplace.

Kazama didn't move from his place next to me as he turned his head towards the pit. Everyone started to go silent, their excited conversations dying down as they anticipated the flames, and when I braved my anxiety to look up at him I saw he seemed nonchalant. His volcanic orange eyes briefly flickered down to meet my own before they settled on the stone fireplace.

Suddenly, the fire pit burst into flame.

I gasped, jumping in fright as a wave of hot air rushed over my skin as the flames momentarily lit up the entire courtyard and the dark sky like lightning, before dwindling down to a normal size just as the crowd let out a collective cry of surprise and wonder. There had been no warning or slow build up to the inferno that was now blazing in the pit, no indication that it was going to burst into flame, and there was also no flammable material to sustain the fire either. It was Kazama alone who was keeping it alive.

Once the crowd had calmed down, Yui leaned over to behold Kazama with disbelief. 'That was amazing! Right, Chizuru-sama?' She squealed, turning to me as well as if she was expecting me to be just as excited. I was embarrassed that she'd asked for my opinion in front of him, and even though I was indeed very impressed I felt shy saying it. 'It was.' I admitted, staring down at my jewelled hands.

Yui hadn't seemed to pick up on my timidity. 'Gosh, I wish I could do that. Oh by the way Chizuru-sama, maybe this week when you're free we could do some embroidery together? I've been thinking all day about what kind of activities we could do and I decided on this because I sense you have done it before, so what do you think? We can make whatever you want.' She pledged, her white-gold oni eyes brimming with hope. Thankfully I was more than happy to do some embroidery, as I used to make, decorate and repair Kodo's haoris when we lived in Edo. It would be nice to practice my rusty skills once again as I missed the feeling of making things for someone else.

I smiled, grateful for her company in the coming days. 'That sounds nice, Yui-s…' I went to say, but before I could finish she had already clasped her hands together. 'Oh, I can't wait! I know you've already sewn before but I'll teach you everything I know and maybe we can make something together too. I'll get the maids to gather all the best fabrics and I'll even bring my special sewing needles and all the threads I own. You know I have spider thread too, harvested from silk spiders. Have you ever seen that before? You can use that too.' She vowed ecstatically, taking both my hands into hers.

It took a few seconds for me to recover from her enthusiasm but before I could say anything, her mother had leaned over to interrupt. 'Yui, my love.' Fei said, tapping her on the thigh.

Yui spun around, already smiling. 'Yes, Mother?' She asked innocently, facing entirely away from me. Fei smiled, her oni eyes bright and full of admiration for her overexcited daughter. 'How about you tell your father and I what you got up to today? We have barely seen you.' She said, and I was unsure if she was genuinely curious or if she was giving me a chance to recuperate from her daughter's interrogation.

Yui nodded, spinning to face both of her parents, and she began to blabber on about fruit picking and playing with Riku.

I was midway through eavesdropping on their conversation when I felt another person grab my hand. Kazama thread our fingers together swiftly and let our intertwined hands rest on the small space of cushion between us, the flames on his cloak glittering in the firelight as if they were real.

And then I felt his mind slide over mine.

I panicked, unsure how to react. I could only imagine what kinds of things he wanted to say to me and I wasn't sure if I was ready to hear them. Would he smother me with compliments like he normally would or would he manage to keep himself together this time? I wasn't sure, but the truth was I couldn't take much more of this odd silence between us anyway. I wanted to talk to him.

I swallowed, dropping my mind barrier to let him in.

He entered immediately, his mind trickling into my consciousness. His mental touch felt different than it usually did because he was in his oni form, and I fought back a shudder as it seemed to fill every part of me. The feeling of our telepathic connection was addictive.

All of a sudden, he reached out with his spare hand to press his clawed fingertips to my chin. _You look beautiful tonight, kitten._

I gasped inwardly at the clarity of his voice. With us both in our oni forms the connection was deeper and more powerful than usual, and it made me realise just how hazy our discourse was when one or both of us were in our human forms. I could also feel a part to him I hadn't yet sensed, a location past his consciousness that was heavily guarded. It ran even deeper than the darkness shrouding his mind and it was then that I was reminded of something he'd said a while ago, that it was possible to telepathically explore the heart and soul of another oni.

Was this what I could feel?

I blushed at his praise, unable to look at him. _Thank you, Kazama-san_ : I mumbled, silently imploring him not to continue flattering me but I knew it was futile.

Kazama's clawed fingers daintily trailed over my fake earring and back down my face. _I have never seen such captivating beauty before, Chizuru. I hope that tonight you and I can use this time to enjoy each other's company, and that we can forget about the journey for just one night. I know you get anxious around lots of people but you can pretend it's just you and I if it makes it easier_ : he purred, brushing his thumb over my lips.

Once he'd pulled his hand away, I licked my lips to extinguish the heat of his touch and went red at his remark. _I'll be ok, Kazama-san. To be honest I'm… pretty excited about tonight. I'm eager to see what will happen_ : I admitted, smiling a bit as I mustered up the willpower to look at him. He stared at me for a while without speaking and my smile faded as I grew self-conscious.

He sighed as he saw my smile disappear. _Come now, you don't need to hide your smile from me. It's not a sin to show me that you are content_ : he chastised lightly, running his thumb over the back of my hand. I sighed as well, embarrassed that he'd brought it up. I'd stopped smiling because I was self-conscious but he had a point as I'd always felt the need to mask how I felt around him, and in particular my joy. Maybe tonight I could afford to loosen up a bit.

My reply was interrupted as the crowd unexpectedly grew louder, their voices raising as if they'd seen something exciting.

When I looked around to see the cause I noticed they were reacting to the appearance of dinner. Tens of maids were streaming out of the castle doors carrying pots and platters of meats, vegetables, fruit and soups. Some were holding cutlery and cups, and others were bringing out tea, and the eager chatting of the people in the courtyard only grew louder as the food grew closer to them.

The first people to receive their meals were us.

I let go of Kazama's hand as two maids bent down to place food, tea and cutlery on the ground, the smell of the dishes making me feel faint with hunger. It all looked and smelt so good and I wondered just how much more food they would need to feed the entire village. I had no doubt that I would be finished before the last of the crowd started to eat.

I thanked the maid who poured me some tea, taking the cup into my hands as she poured some into Kazama's cup as well. He picked it up when she was finished. 'Thank you.' He said casually as if it was the most normal thing in the world for him to show gratitude. I was stunned by his display of courtesy, unaware of how the maid blushed and bowed before scuttling back to the other maids to return to the kitchen.

Kazama paused before he went to take a sip. 'What? You thought me entirely lacking in manners?' He almost accused. I frowned at him as I blew on my own tea to cool it, absentmindedly wondering how he could drink it when it was scalding. 'Well, I'm just not used to seeing it.' I said, blushing like the maid as I peered up at his face. His horns were glistening in the moonlight and it reminded me of how I'd touched them all those weeks ago. I kicked myself for wanting to do it again, especially now that I knew exactly why he'd made such dazed expressions the first time.

Kazama swallowed a mouthful of tea before handing me a bowl and some cutlery. 'That's because you have never seen me around other onis before.' He countered. I frowned, as that wasn't entirely true. 'What about Osen-chan and Shiranui-san? You aren't very polite to them.' I reminded him as I scooped food into my bowl, reaching almost over Yui to get to the fruit as well.

I was somewhat relieved we'd started to bicker again. It had broken down the awkward silence that had existed between us only moments ago, a silence borne of being too starstruck with each other to speak.

Kazama waited until I was seated properly again before retaliating. 'Hmph. Sen is by no means deserving of my respect, and neither is Shiranui because he has spent the last four years seizing every opportunity to irk me.' He muttered, not caring that everyone, including Shiranui, was listening to his rant. I pouted as the scenario sounded familiar. 'Now you know how I've felt for this entire journey.' I reproached.

Kazama didn't seem too fazed by the blame I'd put on him, and in fact he completely disregarded it. 'I am more than willing to be gracious towards someone if they are worthy of my respect. You, for example, are deserving of everything. My respect, and my jesting.' He finished, beginning to eat after he'd filled up his bowl.

I shook my head slightly, ignoring him for the moment as I started to eat as well. Talking to him was like talking to a brick wall, and it was even harder to argue with him.

As I ate, I analysed my surroundings. The maids were bringing the food out for everyone else as well now, starting from those closest to the door and leading outwards. They spread out into groups to reach as many people as possible and as the families received their meals they thanked them then gestured for their children to cease their playing to come and have their food.

I had to smile at how joyous everyone appeared. I wondered if my village had been like that.

Once the royal family had finished their meals, our bowls and cutlery were taken back to the kitchen to be reused for the others who had not eaten yet. We had consumed everything that had been put out for us and I could hear Hiroki and Fei talking about how amazing it had been, and I had to agree as I'd had enough to sate me for the next few days.

Now that she'd been fed, Yui spun around to address me again. 'Chizuru-sama, are you excited about tonight?' She asked, freed from her parents' attention while they discussed other matters.

I nodded, which was the truth. 'I am, but I'm still rather unsure what will happen.' I confessed, expecting Kazama to butt in at any moment. He normally did this when someone other than himself went to explain something to me but surprisingly he allowed Yui to respond. 'There will be so much to do, Chizuru-sama! Now that we have had dinner, there will be music and entertainment and then later on the night we will have the traditional dance. I'll be your first dance partner so I'll show you what to do.' She said matter-of-factly, and I felt Kazama's disapproval even though I wasn't looking at him.

I bit my lip, unsure how I felt about dancing. 'Uh... so what's the dance?' I asked, as I didn't know any dances. Yui waved her hand in a gesture that told me not to worry about it. 'It's ok, I'll teach it to you later. Oh! And you'll also get the opportunity to ask Hanami-sama a question, which I presume Kazama-sama has told you about? Will you ask one?' She inquired, eyes wide as she waited for my answer. I had already decided that I would but I didn't want to tell anyone what it was, even though apparently they would see the answer to it anyway. 'Uh... yeah.' I admitted.

Yui clutched onto my arm, full of energy despite the cold. 'How exciting! It's always interesting to see what guests ask when they come here, and after you ask your question then we shall dance and drink some more!' She beamed, squeezing my hand.

 _Drink_? Like, alcohol?

I was already adamant I wouldn't be drinking tonight due to how it worked out last time, but the rest of the night sounded like it would be interesting.

Once Yui had stopped talking for long enough for Kazama to speak, he wasted no time. 'You're not going to drink my sake this time are you?' He teased, referring to how I'd done so when I'd been drunk. I shot him a sour glare, silently warning him not to speak about it because Yui was now looking at me like she required an explanation. 'I'm not going to be drinking tonight, and especially not something as vile as your sake.' I assured him, infuriated by how readily he'd brought it up.

Kazama's ruby eyes twinkled and he shrugged. 'Such a pity. I was looking forward to having you sit in my lap again. Maybe you would have even called me Kazama-sama once more.' He sighed. I ground my teeth together and decided to ignore him. It was bad enough he was teasing me about my drunken antics but now that we were surrounded by people it was even worse.

Just as Kazama turned away from me to wade in his victory, Yui's large, curious eyes fixed themselves on my face. 'Chizuru-sama, what is Kazama-sama referring to?' She asked, blinking innocently at the sudden strain on my face. I sighed, resisting the urge to press my hand to my forehead. 'I'll explain later.' I promised. If I was going to tell her the story then it would be in private and not where a haughty Kazama would be listening. He was bound to add in his own little narrations to the story, narrations which would be exaggerated and humiliating.

We sat there together for a bit longer, talking as the heat of Kazama's fire washed over our bodies and staved off the cold. Every so often I caught him staring at me as Yui and I conversed and each time the look in his eyes sent shivers down my spine, threatening to break me apart then and there.

The mix of firelight and moonlight on his skin made him appear otherworldly.

 _He_ was the one who looked beautiful tonight.

* * *

I sighed as Kazama raised an eyebrow expectantly, holding out his sake cup.

This was the fourth bottle of sake he'd consumed tonight and each time he finished his glass I'd been expected to pour him another. I wanted to remind him that I hadn't dressed up and attended a festival just to be his personal servant, but it wouldn't have made any difference to my situation anyway. I'd told him off heaps of times for this in the past and yet here I was again. Pouring his sake.

He inclined his head once his cup had been refilled, his orange-gold irises burning like the flames in the fire pit. 'Good girl.' He said, smirking as I flashed him a glare. I couldn't even turn to Yui to escape him as she'd disappeared a while ago.

We'd been sitting here for multiple hours now, but in all honesty it had been pleasant. Between talking to Yui, enjoying the lively music and sitting by Kazama's side I'd actually enjoyed myself and the best was yet to come, or at least Yui assured me. Already the crowd was beginning to stir in preparation for the traditional dance.

Kazama chuckled as I said nothing. 'Anyway, kitten, what do you think of Yamamura so far? I know you've only been here for a day but what are your first impressions?' He asked out of the blue, gesturing lightly to the onis that surrounded us. They were laughing and conversing loudly, and some of the drunker ones were singing. It was refreshing to see so many smiling faces.

I turned back to him to respond. 'I really like it. Everyone is so welcoming, and the city is exquisite. I told Hanami-sama earlier that I'm very happy to be here.' I said, playing with my jewellery as his eyes scoured my face.

He frowned slightly then, as if he'd just remembered something. 'Oh yes, why _did_ she request your presence this morning, Chizuru? I assume it was only to determine how you were faring here.' He guessed, raising his cup back to his lips.

I bit my lip. I'd known this would come up sooner or later.

I shrugged non-committedly. 'She wanted to discuss something with me, that's all. But yes she asked me how I was going too. I wasn't in trouble or anything.' I said more to myself than him, and he raised his eyebrows suspiciously before his lips twitched with amusement. 'You thought you were in trouble? I suppose it doesn't surprise me as you've always been highly strung, but everyone should know that if anything you're more likely to _be_ the trouble.' He chuckled, savouring the displeasure in my countenance.

I crossed my arms, shooting him an unimpressed glare as he had the audacity to hold out his sake cup again. 'Very funny. And honestly, are you incapable of pouring your own sake? The last 79 years must have been torture for you having to do it yourself.' I grumbled, as red as an apple as Kazama's smirk morphed into a grin.

He chuckled but refused to withdraw his cup. 'Well I did have servants, but there was the odd occasion where I had to do it myself. That's why I am looking forward to having you as my wife. I'll never have to pour sake again.' He countered.

I could already see that I was going nowhere with this and as always no matter how hard I fought he would always fight back twice as hard. There were only two things in the world that I could say to shut him up, the first being his name and second being the mention of bean sprouts, but he hadn't _quite_ pushed me to that level of desperation yet.

I narrowed my eyes at him, just about to spout something generic when an overzealous voice interrupted me.

'Chizuru-sama!' Called Yui from the other side of the fireplace.

I squinted through the flames to see her waving at me, at least a dozen short figures standing behind her. She started furiously gesturing for me to approach her and it was only when she did so that I realised the figures were children.

I waved back, letting her know I'd heard, and then I turned back to Kazama. 'I'm going over to Yui so unfortunately you're going to have to serve your own drink.' I said, not bothering to conceal the sass in my voice as I raised off the cushion to stand.

Kazama just sighed as I brushed myself off. 'You'll have to make up for this disobedience with a dance later.' He warned, but his eyes were sparkling.

I blushed at the thought of dancing with him before tearing my eyes from his handsome face and making my way over to Yui.

She reached out to take my hand as I came to stand near her. 'Chizuru-sama, I have some people I want you to meet.' She said, stepping to the side to expose the small group of children. They all ranged from 5 to 10 years old, and each and every one of them was beaming at me like l was something extraordinary.

I smiled shyly, waving a bit. 'Hey. I'm Chizuru... oh, uh...' I was taken by surprise when one of the little girls suddenly swung her arms around my waist and held me tightly in a welcome hug.

I pat her back awkwardly, a short laugh escaping my lips at how adorable it was. 'Aw... thanks.' I said as she removed her arms to grasp my cloak with two hands. When she grinned I saw she was missing one of her baby teeth.

Yui laughed too, pressing a hand to her heart as if the scene was moving. 'They've been waiting to meet you for months now, and they already adore you! Some of them can only speak a bit of Japanese but I'll translate if need be.' She assured me, her hand reaching out to tenderly brush the girl's fringe from her eyes.

I recalled that Hanami had known about my arrival for months so naturally so would have everyone else. I was flattered that even the children had been eagerly awaiting my visit here.

The rest of the children were buzzing as they started to surround me, one of the boys hugging me from the side. A girl of about 9 managed to pull open the front of my cloak to inspect my dress.

I squeaked a bit as she pat my hip, right where the embroidered snowflakes stopped. 'Blue! Blue! Se ita grena.' She chirped, gazing up at me with admiration in her large emotive eyes.

I had no idea what she'd said except for the word blue so that was the word I responded to. 'Yes, my dress is blue.' I parroted before Yui provided the much needed translation. 'She said your dress is pretty. Suka loves the colour blue, doesn't she?' Yui giggled, immediately translating her last sentence so the young girl, whose name was most likely Suka, could understand.

Suka nodded at me eagerly even though Yui had been the one who'd spoken. 'Blue! Blue!'

I covered my mouth as I smiled, but it was Yui who spoke next. 'Anyway, the reason I brought you over here is because I'm going to teach you how to dance. These guys haven't learnt it yet either so it will be the perfect time to practice. The real dance will begin soon so I'm going to make sure you all know the steps beforehand.' She explained in Japanese then translated it for the kids. I was envious of them for being bilingual, as I'd lost the ability to speak my own native language when I'd lost my memory. It was the loss of knowledge like that which really troubled me.

Once Yui had briefed them on what was going to occur, they began to chat jovially amongst themselves while waiting for Yui to arrange them.

She continued to address us both in Japanese and her own language. 'Chizuru-sama and I will be partners and will demonstrate the steps. Once we've done that then you can try to imitate us. Now time to get into pairs! Girls with boys please.'

I watched them fight over partners after Yui had stopped talking, unable to understand what they were squealing and shouting about, but I could tell it was all in good humour. They were all girl-boy pairings apart from one because there were more boys than girls.

Once everyone was organised, Yui gestured me to face her front on. 'The first thing you have to do is press your left hand to your partner's left hand and circle them once. After that you change hands and circle them from the other direction. Ready to try?'

I nodded, raising my hand to press against hers, and the children did the same.

All in sync we circled our partners slowly until we came to the front again and then we changed hands and circled them from the other side. The children were laughing hysterically as if it was the most ridiculous thing in the world and it made me want to laugh too.

Yui calmed them before she gave her next instruction. 'After that's done, you press both of your hands together and take 3 steps back, then return to the middle, and then three more forward and return to the middle. The male normally leads first, and this step is repeated 3 times. Chizuru-sama, I'll be the male for this practice.' She said with a cheeky smile, holding her hands up for me to press mine to.

I did as she'd asked, and she counted me in before she started to move.

When we were back in our original positions, Yui continued. 'The next step is for the male to put his hands on the females sides, and the female to put her hands on his shoulders, and then you take 3 steps to the right then return to the middle, then 3 steps to the left and return to the middle. Make sure you cross your feet over when you sidestep because it's easier. You also repeat this 3 times.'

I allowed Yui to place her hands on my sides, just at the base of my ribcage, and I placed my hands on her shoulders. We stepped to the right 3 times then returned to the middle, before stepping right 3 times and also moving back to the middle. So far it didn't seem that difficult which was great, as I didn't want to push my luck. I wasn't exactly coordinated.

The children copied us perfectly but with much more laughter, then awaited Yui's last command. 'The final step is for the male to twirl the female around once then pull her back close to him, take one step back then one step forward. Then he must twirl her again and take one step forward then one step back.' She said, getting in position to demonstrate.

I wasn't sure how I'd go with twirling but I was determined not to fall over as Yui motioned for us to start.

She twirled me around once, then when I was facing her again she put her hand back on my side. We took a step back then forward, then she twirled me again and stepped forward then back.

When we were finished, Yui clasped her hands. 'Well done everyone! It looks like the traditional dance is going to begin soon so quickly run back to your parents and show them what you've learnt!' She encouraged.

They started giggling as they ran off in all directions, and once they'd gone Yui let out a sigh. 'You did a good job, Chizuru-sama. You're a natural.' She said, nudging my arm with her elbow.

I snorted at the irony, then blushed at how unladylike it had been. 'Well... uh, generally I'm pretty clumsy so I'll probably make plenty of mistakes during the real dance. But thanks for teaching me anyway, Yui-san.' I said as we started to make our way back to the cushions on the other side of the fireplace. Everyone was looking at us and it dawned on me that they'd all watched us practice. I was so embarrassed.

Just as I went to sit down beside Kazama, Hanami appeared by the fireplace. The crowd began to grow quiet as she stood by the pit and I sat down hurriedly so I wasn't the only one standing.

Hanami waited for everyone to be silent before she started talking. 'As you know, it is drawing close to midnight and this means it's time for our traditional dance. The royal family and our guests shall have the first dance and then the others may join. Afterwards we will hold the gift ceremony, in which Kazama-sama and Chizuru-sama will ask a question each.' She revealed.

There was a slight flourish of conversation before it died down again when Hanami seated herself once more.

Once she'd finished, I felt a strong presence slide over my mind.

I let my mind barrier dissolve instantly, letting out a small breath of relief as the soothing sensation of our link filled me with peace. Kazama's smooth voice rumbled through my head. _I'm proud of you, kitten. You managed not to trip over at all when Yui was teaching you to dance_.

I scowled at him. Did he really instigate a telepathic link just so he could tell me that?

Before I could respond, the royal family started to get up.

Kazama grabbed my hand quickly, making me flinch, before he pulled me up. I gasped as he steadied me against him before taking my other hand in his like we were about to take our vows. He looked triumphant and I realised it was because he'd claimed me for the first dance.

When I looked at Yui she appeared heartbroken. Not too long ago she'd promised me that she would be my first dance partner, and she looked so disheartened watching Kazama hold my hands that my guilt was almost incurable.

I turned back to frown at Kazama who was revelling in merciless victory. _Yui said she was going to be my first dance partner:_ I reminded him. He sighed, holding my hands tighter as if to prove he'd never surrender me. _Do you not wish to dance with me, Chizuru_?

My lips parted slightly.

The truth was I did want to dance with him. I was surprised by how much I did, actually, and when he'd asked me that question I'd picked up on his jealousy.

I sighed, blushing at his desperation. _I do want to dance with you_ : I mumbled, resuming before he could get too excited. _But that means you can't tease me if I trip over or something_. _If I had have danced with someone prior to you then I would have been less likely to ruin the dance_.

Kazama just shrugged, a smirk playing on his lips. _It matters not. I've vowed to be your first everything, dance partner included_ , _and in fact I would prefer you to make mistakes with me than with anyone else. It means I'll be the one to catch you when you trip_. _And you will_ : he purred, pulling me closer to his body.

I deflected my gaze, staring instead at the delicate needlework on his cloak. _Just make sure you don't step on my feet:_ I retorted, peering up at him to see how he took my attempt at a joke, and I was rewarded with a twisted smile. Just _as long as you don't step on mine._

I allowed a brief smile to surface on my face, but before Kazama could mention it the sound of a flute carried through the air. I turned to the small group of onis to the side who had an assortment of instruments. Two girls were playing flutes, another had a small drum and there was one more with some sort of string instrument.

Everyone had ceased conversation as the royal family split into partners. They all removed their capes before they got into position, dropping them onto the places where they'd just stood up from. I noticed Yui had partnered with Hato.

Kazama squeezed my hand lightly. _Take off your cape_ : he ordered.

I gave him a panicked look, knowing that if I chose to keep it on I would definitely trip over it, but it would almost be worth the embarrassment to prevent Kazama from seeing me in this dress again.

He raised an eyebrow as everyone started to get into position. _If you keep it on then it will get in the way. And I'll be more likely to step on your feet:_ he warned, and eventually I just gave up and unlatched my cape, self-consciously flicking it onto the cushion I'd been sitting on. I felt like I was naked.

Kazama drew me back close to him, slowly, and I swore I could hear the rumbling of a purr start in his throat as he pressed our bodies together. I was unable to push him away as he chuckled, maybe at the tremor that ran through my body at his touch, but he didn't say anything.

Then all of a sudden, the dance began.

Kazama removed his hand from my body to press to my mine. The music was of a medium pace so I didn't have to rush the steps, and I relied on Kazama's lead and everyone else's movements to guide me.

With our hands pressed together we circled each other from the right, and for each step Kazama refused to look away from me. I gazed at him too for a while until I felt like my legs were going to give way, and focused on dancing for a few seconds before was ready again to meet his eyes. He was so impossibly flawless in his oni form that it almost hurt to look at him, and as we circled each other there were a few times where both the moonlight and the firelight blazed upon his skin.

We breezed through the steps as fluidly as possible with me pausing every so often to figure out what came next, but apart from that I was pretty proud of myself. I'd managed to stay upright and keep my feet away from his, and once I grew more comfortable I realised that this was rather fun.

When it came for the sidestepping, Kazama tenderly placed his hands on my sides and I put my own on his shoulders.

His touch was electric. His fingertips ghosted down the lace edging of the backless part of my dress as if he wanted to commit my curves to memory, and I couldn't even summon the willpower to tell him off. Little white lights were dancing behind my eyelids at the sensation of his warmth against my bare back, a place I'd never been touched by anyone let alone by a man who I'd not so long ago thought of as evil. There was once a time where it would have repulsed me to have been caressed by him in this way.

But that time was long gone.

Kazama was analysing the mix of concentration and shyness on my face as we danced. _The next time we do this might be at our wedding ceremony, kitten, but instead of blue you will be dressed in red and gold. Although surely it must be impossible for you_ _to be more beautiful than you are now. You could render any man speechless in this dress_ : he hummed, his fingers tightening on my sides as if to prove it.

I went tomato red, almost tripping over for the first time since we'd started. _If only that was the case for you too_ : I retorted, but secretly I was flattered that he found me so attractive.

Before Kazama answered, he twirled me around under his arm in time with the music, and then pulled me back to his chest. _Do you not remember when I first saw you this evening? When I walked into your en suite as you pretended to clean the bath, I couldn't find any words to describe the beauty in front of me. I only knew that not once in my life had a woman enthralled me in such a way._

I resisted the urge to run back inside. I didn't know what was more embarrassing to me, that he'd known I was pretending to clean or that he'd admitted that I had such an effect on him. For someone like Kazama to confess that they'd never seen such a beautiful woman, I couldn't believe it. Up until 2 and a half months ago I'd been nothing more than a boring, average girl both to myself and probably to Hijikata too. But Kazama's continuous praise of both my talent and my beauty made me feel like I was more than just mediocre.

But even so, his remarks had been a little too straightforward for my liking. _Kazama-san, honestly_ : I said as he twirled me for the last time and brought me back to his body. _Do you really have to say things like that? It's embarrassing_ : I professed, permitting him to hold me against him even though this round of dancing had now finished.

Kazama's slender fingers reached up and he tilted my face to meet his unexpectedly stern eyes. _It only embarrasses you because you are not yet accustomed to being appreciated by a man. I am confident that the rabid animal you're infatuated with has never given you a proper compliment, the closest thing being a mumble of thanks at the end of a day for cleaning their headquarters from dusk till dawn. It angers me, Chizuru. You did that for four years._

I had no response for him straight away, mostly because he'd moved completely off topic. It was evident he remained frustrated I'd stayed with the Shinsengumi for all that time, and that he still held true to the belief that I'd been their prisoner, but I'd picked up on something in his words that surprised me, something that I hadn't yet sensed from him when speaking about my time with the Shinsengumi. They way he'd reminded me how long I'd stayed with them sounded like… guilt. Like he was guilty that for years he'd allowed me to remain under the control of humans, and had been unable to bring me back to my kin.

I forced myself to adopt a placid voice, pulling my fingers off his shoulders and taking his hand so we could still talk telepathically. _I know this is hard for you to believe but I was treated well there. I may have been captured at the start but as time went on I could have left whenever I wanted to, and even you know that if I was ever in any danger Osen-chan would have removed me from their care by any means necessary._

Kazama's face grew even sourer, but his grip on my hand remained soft. _She should have taken you out of there as soon as she located you in Kyoto. Now come and sit down_ : he grumbled, leading me back over to the cushions.

I sighed, following him wordlessly before I sat down next to him. It was crazy how his mood could change so rapidly but he appeared annoyed rather than angry. Maybe he was getting sick of me saying over and over again that I'd stayed there of my own volition and that I hadn't been their slave.

After a few minutes, Kazama reached out to take my hand again.

I snuck a brief look at his face as he calmed down, watching as his frown retreated and the hardness in his countenance ebbed away. We both watched silently as the rest of the villagers made space around themselves so that they could also dance now that the royals had had their turn. Yui and Hato were still dancing together, as were most of the others, but Hanami and some of the children had also came to sit back on the cushions as Kazama and I had.

It was then that he looked at me, rather blankly but I knew he wanted to say something.

He licked his lips then he took in a breath, even though he spoke in our minds. _Chizuru_ …: he said, making me nervous by the amount of time between his first and next sentence. _Had you reached Ezo by yourself and found your friends, what would you have done once you'd returned to Kyoto?_

For the second time that night, my lips parted in surprise at one of his questions.

I'd thought about the answer to that quite a bit but I'd never expected he would ask or even care about what I'd planned to do once the war drew to a close. In my silly daydreams I'd imagined settling down with Hijikata and having a family, taking care of our house and children and living a peaceful life, but that fantasy seemed so far from me now. I still loved him with all of my heart, with every piece of my being, but now that Kazama had been thrown into the mix I wasn't sure if that would even happen, though a part of me still wanted it to.

I suppose I wouldn't know what I wanted until the time actually came.

I shrugged, blushing as his eyes grew even hotter as he sensed I was about to give my reply. _I don't know. I'll probably stay with Osen-chan for a bit then move back to Edo and start up a small clinic, just as my father did. I'm pretty sure he left all of his medicinal notes there in addition to his supplies so I'll study hard and try to follow in his footsteps_ : I responded, pausing to reflect on what I'd said before I returned the question. _What about you? What will you do?_

He picked up the empty sake cup that he'd placed on the ground, tapping his claw on its side. _Do you mean before or after our wedding?_

I sighed, my shoulders slumping. I should have expected such an answer.

He chuckled at my reaction before attempting to provide a more helpful response. _I will go back to my clan, of course. If you choose to come with me then we shall stay there indefinitely, but if you insist on being difficult then I suppose I will have to return to the human world once more to fetch you. I would have had to have come back anyway as I promised I would take you to the Midori clan, but afterwards if you have still not agreed to marry me then I will return you to wherever you want to go and stay with you there._

My eyes widened, my mind overflowing with questions.

Did he mean he would live in the human world with me if I wanted to?

I gasped, my mouth falling open. 'You would allow me to choose where we lived?' I asked incredulously, biting my lip as I realised I'd not only spoken aloud, but I'd said 'we'.

Kazama smirked, but then it morphed into a grimace. _Only for a short time. As long as you are with me, I can be patient until you are ready to move to my village. But that is where my leniency ends. Do not think that I would allow you to choose the human world forever, and do not think I mean to say I'd let you choose any other man but me. You are mine, and you shall stay mine. Where we stay and what we do in the short term is unimportant as long as we remain together._

I stared at his resolute expression, trying to figure out if I was hearing this properly.

So he would still try to make me his wife, but he would not force me to go to his village unless I wanted to? I suppose he had no choice as taking me there against my will would be considered kidnapping and Sen had forbidden him from doing so. It was expected of him to admit that he'd never give me up but honestly I'd thought he'd be more adamant that we would need to get married as soon as possible. From what he said he'd sounded willing to be patient with me and he'd even promised he'd stay in the human world until I was ready to go with him. Maybe I'd underestimated his ability to compromise.

 _Oh_ : I murmured, playing with the abundance of jewellery on my hands. _What about your duties as clan leader?_

When Kazama gave me a sly smile, I grew unsettled. _You really are asking a lot of questions about this, aren't you?:_ he noted suspiciously, before chuckling at how I tensed from head to toe. _Don't worry about my duties, kitten, as they will be taken care of in our absence. My main priority will be making you my wife, and once that occurs I will reassume my role as clan leader. And some day, with your help, I will enter the role of father as well._

I hastily looked away from him as his lips perked into a smile, unable to withstand the fire in his orange-hued eyes, and when I said nothing he didn't either.

Together we sat peacefully and watched the others dance. The whole courtyard was bustling with moving figures and ringing with the sounds of footsteps and laughter, and my eyes flickered from person to person. There was one couple dancing closer than Kazama and I had, laughing together as he spun her around under his arm. A bunch of younger children were dancing together haphazardly by a garden bed and being cheered on by their parents and a few others that had gathered to watch. I'd never known that an event like this could be a source for such joy.

After many minutes, Kazama's voice reverberated through my head. _Chizuru_ : he said, but my name had sounded like a question.

When I turned to him, he was holding out his sake cup with a sheepish look on his face, and I knew exactly what he wanted. I couldn't believe he had the audacity to request this of me after I'd told him off just before.

I sighed, putting my spare hand on my hip. _I'll do it if you say please_ : I said curtly, picking up the sake bottle to illustrate my point. His eyes grew slightly darker as I tested him but I was not backing down. From now on if he wanted me to serve his drink then he would need to ask politely instead of just saying my name, or even worse, just holding his cup out to me.

Kazama's hand was still extended but he lowered it slightly as if he was thinking that it might not be worth it. But soon after, he managed to swallow his pride.

His lips tightened. _Please_.

I tried not to smile triumphantly, but I still hadn't finished with him yet. _Please what?_

His whole body went rigid and his eyes narrowed to mere slits. _Is this really necessary?_ : he growled, withdrawing his cup as if he'd decided it was too much effort. I nodded, taking more pleasure than I thought at his discomfort. _Yes, it is. If you're going to order me around then I'm going to make you ask nicely:_ I replied, standing my ground as his toxic aura started to drown me. He was becoming a little more than irritated but for once I wasn't afraid. He deserved to be humbled.

Eventually he gave up. _Could you... please pour me some sake?_

 _Chizuru. You forgot my name at the end_ : I said without missing a beat, echoing the words he'd spoke to me after he'd made me admit I didn't hate him after we'd jumped off that cliff ages ago.

His eyes flashed with exasperation, his hand tightening around my own as he wrestled with his ego. Not even he could hide the struggle in his eyes and I could see and _feel_ him mentally assessing if there were any ways for him to get around it.

Just as I thought he was going to refuse, Kazama's lip curled up as if he was going to snarl. _Could you please pour me some sake, Chizuru?_

I smiled patronisingly and gestured for him to hold his cup out again. _Good boy_ : I said, seizing the opportunity to deal one last blow to his pride as I filled it up to the brim, watching his hand tremble in frustration.

As soon as I was done he tore his arm back and downed his sake in one gulp like he needed the alcohol to deal with me. That was how I felt most of the time around him so for the moment I considered us even.

He wiped his mouth, placing the cup on the ground. 'For such a timid woman you sure do have an impertinent mouth.' He muttered aloud even though we were still holding hands. 'I can think of a few ways to keep it preoccupied, though.'

I flushed bright red, wanting to die as Hiroki and Fei peered over from their spot on the cushions to titter at us.

His irritation subsided substantially as I provided him with a satisfactory reaction, but before he could comment on it there was a shift in the atmosphere. A wave of silence washed over the crowd and they started to sit down again and I realised it was because Hanami had stood up.

She shifted over to the fireplace, the pearls in her knee-length hair reflecting the flames. 'Thank you, everyone.' She said as the crowd settled down. 'Now that it is almost midnight the time has finally come for the gift ceremony. Both Chizuru-sama and Kazama-sama will be using their gifts tonight.'

My stomach twisted anxiously at the announcement.

Even though my question no longer concerned the Shinsengumi, I was still nervous about discovering my middle power. I knew it could be anything, and I also knew everyone would see it too as Kazama had warned me Hanami had the power to project her visions. And what was Kazama going to ask? It was suspicious that only now had he chosen to use his gift even though he'd already been here twice. I couldn't imagine what he would wish to know.

Almost as if he knew I was thinking about him, his thumb trailed across my hand. _Are you ready?_ : he asked, no trace of panic is his voice even though he was asking a question tonight as well.

I nodded once, but I could feel my face paling. _I'm fine_ : I mumbled, and when he saw that I was disconcerted he held my hand tighter. _Remember that everyone will know what question you ask and they will see the vision Hanami projects, but they may not understand what it means. She will explain the vision to you so you understand, but she will do this privately through a mind link. This means that you will need to allow her into your head just as you have allowed me_ : he warned.

I was stunned for a moment. This would be the first time I'd established a link with anyone other than Kazama. I was surprised by how uneasy I was about it, as I'd grown so used to Kazama's presence in my head, but it would have happened sooner or later. I would have let Sen into my head at some stage too when I returned to Kyoto.

I nodded again. _So how does she project her visions?_ : I posed curiously as Hanami waited for everyone to be silent so the ceremony could start. Kazama watched her too and then looked back at me. _When a certain herb is burnt it produces a smoke that can be manipulated by Yume clan leaders to show others their visions. The herb only grows in these ranges and has been used in this ceremony for hundreds of years. It will be thrown into the fireplace in front of us. Look._

When I turned to where he'd gestured to, I saw a maid approaching Hanami holding a small white cloth bag. She bowed as she placed the satchel into Hanami's hands and retreated back to the sidelines where a group of other maids were sitting down.

Kazama carried on when Hanami started to open it. _The smoke forms shapes and images in full colour, and some projections can interact with the audience. You will see what I mean soon_ : he said, blowing my mind with his explanation.

I had no chance to reply because Hanami turned to face me, holding out her spare hand as if she wanted me to take it. 'Chizuru-sama, you are first. When you are ready please state your question.' She entreated, her hand returning to hold the satchel.

The entire courtyard was soundless apart from the eerie patter of hundreds of heartbeats. My own heart had fervently joined the chorus and just like the crowd I was motionless. Kazama sat in complete tranquillity as well, and even though we were still connected not even he spoke to me.

'I wish to know…' I started, nerves raking though me. 'I wish to know my middle power.'

There was an instant wave of intrigued and excited whispers, but it quickly died down as Hanami reached into the satchel to pull out a handful of crushed, pale grey leaves.

'Very well.' She said. And then she threw the herb into the flame.

I gasped as the fire swelled without warning, the flames adopting a green tinge. My claws were practically digging into Kazama's hand as I watched a strange, opaque smoke start to pour out over the lid of the fireplace like water overflowing from a bowl, but instead of rising into the air like normal smoke it poured over the ground like fog. I brought my legs closer to me as it approached me but it stopped about a metre from my feet and stayed there as if it had hit an invisible barrier. It was then that Hanami appeared beside me and sat down, holding her hand out for me to place in hers. She'd taken her gloves off and her nails were sharp and long, but they weren't her oni claws. She had not yet reached the age of her first transformation.

My eyes flickered sharply to Kazama's before I placed my hand in hers, my fingers twitching at the cold dampness of her lucid skin. She curled her fingers around my hand then placed her other one over it, turning back to the smoke as if she sensed it was going to move.

It was then that I felt a mind slide over mine, a mental touch that didn't seem familiar to me.

I took in a deep breath and lowered my mind barrier, cringing as a presence much colder and larger than Kazama's entered my own. There was so much inside her head, so many things that told me she'd seen more in her short life than I'd believed. I could sense the knowledge and the memories writhing beneath the netting that kept her thoughts separate from mine, and there was also a darkness there too. A similar darkness to Kazama, maybe loneliness, or grief.

Hanami's voice was soft inside my head _. You have not had another mind inside your own save for Kazama-sama, have you?_ : she assumed, her voice echoing as she communicated with me. My eyes were fixed on the smoke as I replied. _No,_ I _haven't:_ I admitted, watching the smoke ripple like the ocean. It was transfixing.

Hanami inclined her head. _Then let us not delay. Watch carefully, and listen to what I say._

No sooner had she said that did the smoke begin to rise into the air.

I gasped as it started to form a column in front of us, a massive cylinder of pulsing smoke, growing taller and taller until it was about the same size as a human. It began to writhe ever so slightly, as if someone was inside trying to get out, but it kept its shape nonetheless and I found I couldn't look away.

Then without warning, there was a burst of fierce light.

I hissed as the flash pierced straight into my brain and straight into everyone else's as well as I heard a few cries and some sharp breaths. The next thing I felt was a forceful rush of heat blast over my skin, running straight through my clothes and almost frying me alive, and I opened my eyes again to find the source of the heat, believing it to be the firepit. But as the blurriness of my vision cleared and the smoke dissipated I saw the source of it.

It was _me_. On _fire_.

I supressed a cry as I jolted back from the vision, only stabilised by the mutual grip of Hanami and Kazama's hands.

From head to toe my naked flesh was covered in flames. They seemed to be coming out of me, lapping over every inch of my body, and the more I stared the more I realised that I wasn't on fire; I was _made_ of it. My hair was floating around my face and was as orange as Kazama's oni eyes, each and every strand ablaze. I was wearing absolutely no clothing but the particular details of my body were not visible and my oni horns burned white-hot against my forehead. When I examined my face I saw that the whites of my eyes were as black as night, as were my fingers up until the second knuckle as if I'd just dipped them in a pot of ink.

But even after seeing all this there still remained something that I couldn't look away from, something that made my heart freeze in my chest.

Around my throat was Kazama's neck band.

Just as I felt like I was about to pass out, Hanami's cool voice entered my head. _Your middle power is that of power mimicry, Chizuru-sama. Through sampling the blood of other onis you can absorb both their clan and middle powers for an indefinite period of time, but the strength of the powers you absorb are relative to the amount of blood you take. The more blood the stronger the ability, and as this vision suggests there will come a day where you hold Kazama-sama's power too._

I was trying not to hyperventilate as I attempted to register both what she'd said and the version of myself that was right in front of my eyes, standing there unmoving as if she was a living statue. _Wh…what? I can steal the powers of other… other people?:_ I gasped, tearing my hand from Kazama's to press to my chest as I swore I was about to have a heart attack. I could sense Kazama's anxiety at my reaction as his eyes shifted from me to the vision, but nothing he could have said or done would have calmed me down.

Hanami on the other hand was perfectly at ease. _Not steal; borrow. The person you drink blood from still retains their powers in full with no change to their ability to use it. And in fact, Chizuru-sama, it seems you have already accumulated an ability._

The astonishment felt like a hundred people had punched me square in the face.

I snapped my head to look at her. ' _What_?' I gasped, my voice carrying through the courtyard and echoing numerous times before disappearing.

Hanami remained calm, and now I was grateful for how cold she was. _Do you remember the flashback you had in the village before you saved the human girl's mother? As your father was pierced by the arrow his blood ran up your body and into your mouth. Only a few drops were consumed as consequence, but enough for you to possess a fragment of his own middle power. As for what that power is, your companion is capable of telling you._

I knew she meant Kazama.

I sat there staring at the version of me on fire, staring placidly into nothing as her body burned with orange fire. Not only could I absorb the clan and middle powers of anyone I wanted to, it had just been confirmed that I possessed my father's own power and that in the future I would have Kazama's too. I had no thoughts at the moment apart from that I needed to lay down. This was too much for me to process at midnight, and too much for me to process all at once.

Hanami eventually pulled her hand away from me and our mind link dissipated. As soon as our contact was broken the flaming me disappeared too and broke apart into a plume of grey, sifting back down to rest amongst the rest of the smoke.

When Hanami reappeared beside the fireplace to stand directly within the smoke, Kazama's hand pressed against my own. He took it tightly into his and stared at the vacant expression on my face, trying to get me to look at him but I was staring past the scene and the people in front of me to a place deep within my thoughts. I couldn't believe what I'd just been told.

Kazama's mind slid over mine, but before I could think about letting him in Hanami addressed him. 'Kazama-sama. Do you still wish to ask your question?'

I blinked a few times to clear my head, remembering then that Kazama had to ask his question too. When I turned to him he was looking at me even though Hanami had spoken to him, and as he saw the normalcy return somewhat to my expression I saw his whole body soften.

After he'd discerned I was fine, he nodded in her direction. 'I do.' He said, straightening as his turn came.

Hanami manifested at his side and sat down as she had done to me. 'Then you may ask it when you are ready.' She said, offering him her hand to take, and he did.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I tilted my head to look at his face, surprised to see him looking at me. His eyes drilled into mine, piercing deeper than the flash of light I'd seen at the start of my vision, and I prayed that his question wouldn't encourage me to have the heart attack I'd just narrowly avoided.

But when he opened his mouth, the words that spilled from his lips were even more staggering than I could have ever conceived.

'I wish to know my future with Chizuru.' He said.

His request incited an even stronger reaction from the crowd than mine, but over the sound of my heart pounding in my ears I heard nothing.

I gaped at him, eyes widening as Hanami nodded. 'As you wish. Turn to the smoke and I shall show you what you desire. A fragment of your future.' She urged, gesturing with her spare hand to the flowing sea of smoke in front of us.

If I had have had my wits about me I would have gotten up and started scolding him for asking to see something like that. What if it was something bad? What if it wasn't what he wanted, or what if it wasn't what I wanted? What if we saw something horrible tonight, and once we'd seen it we could never go back?

But… what if we saw something that was good? There was a possibility we could never go back then either.

Time seemed to stand still as the smoke raised off the ground and started to float in the air, forming not a column but a massive cloud. It reached from the ground a few metres up in the air with no sign of taking any form, and it had completely encapsulated the fire pit. It stayed like that for a full minute without shifting further than it had and it showed no sign of doing so at all.

There was nothing.

No noise, no shapes, no colour.

It was blank.

I swallowed, an odd fear seizing my heart. Was this it? Was it trying to tell us that we had no future together? The possibility was more traumatic than I'd thought it and I had to look away from the blankness, telling myself that this couldn't be it. I'd never been sure up until this moment what I'd wanted from Kazama but now that I was faced with the prospect that there was going to be nothing between us it filled me with ache. I knew then that I'd fallen for him deeper than I'd thought. For me to be upset over a future without him, there was no other explanation.

Just before I'd given up hope of seeing anything, a clear, young voice rang out through the courtyard.

'Father!'

Everyone's eyes snapped up to look at the smoke, but there was still no shapes or signs of movement. I squinted into it and all around the courtyard to find the source of the child's voice but I found nothing. No one could have spoken and sounded so close to where we were sitting.

Then I heard the sound of footsteps, running. Coming closer.

It was then that I saw it, in the smoke. There was someone coming towards us from inside it, running at full pace. My whole body stiffened at not knowing what was going to spring out and scare us but when I saw a familiar flash of crimson I pushed aside my terror in order to figure out what it was.

And it was in that moment that a girl sprinted out of the grey, her long curls bouncing behind her as she ran towards the man beside me.

'Father!' She squealed again, leaping straight onto Kazama and throwing her arms around his neck. He went completely rigid from head to toe, an expression I'd never seen before surfacing on his face.

The girl pulled back from him to beam up at his face, and when I had time to study her properly the blood drained entirely from my cheeks.

She was the splitting image of him in almost every way. Her hair was medium brown but faded to blond at the tips, reaching down to the small of her back in loose, beautiful curls. She had his straight nose, his angular face shape and the same cheeky gleam in her pale eyes. They were the colour of dark pink quartz and edged with long dark brown lashes, and she was wearing a burgundy kimono embroidered with cream flowers. She was the most beautiful child I'd ever seen.

And I didn't understand why I felt a connection to her. Something than ran deeper than affection, deeper than anything I'd ever felt before. Almost like she was a part of me.

The girl who appeared to be around 8 years old continued to fawn over the man she'd called her father. 'Guess what Mother and I did today?' She chirped, climbing into his lap and sitting there like she hadn't noticed the panic that flooded Kazama's face. His eyes were going so dark they were almost black, darker than the colour they'd gone after our fight, but only because he was in shock. I'd learned his eyes changed colour with his emotions.

Hanami still had his hand in hers and I could tell that she was explaining what was happening.

The girl still had her arms around him as she continued without prompting. 'Mother took me into the garden to find worms for fishing! You should see how many we caught. There's hundreds of them. We put them in a container so we can use them tomorrow when we go out on Grandfather's boat. How many fish do you think we will catch this time, Father?' She asked, rosey eyes wide as she beheld Kazama.

It was very clear to me now who she was.

She was… she was his daughter. She was his child.

I felt like I was going to throw up, and Kazama appeared like he wasn't too far off doing the same. He said nothing as he stared down at the mini-version of himself with eyes wider than the moon in the sky, her face finally beginning to display some confusion at his unresponsiveness.

She frowned, making their resemblance even more uncanny. 'Father?'

It was then that Kazama finally made a move, a very slow and shaky lift of his hand.

The girl's frown smoothed out as he pressed his palm to her cheek, and she placed her own over it. 'Mother said you would be tired today as you had lots of work to do. She's made chicken dumplings which she said are your favourite, but she told me not to tell you because it was a surprise.' She said as she pat his hand affectionately and leaned into his touch.

The heat returned to my face as his thumb slid over the soft skin under her eyes like he did to me when I'd been crying. His hands were trembling, and when I analysed the look on his face I realised it was turning tender. The way he was staring down at the girl in his lap was undeniably gentle, albeit still confused. Never, ever had I seen him react to anything in this way.

Suddenly, the girl turned to me.

I froze in place, not even daring to breathe as her emotive eyes settled on my face. 'Mother, when we go fishing tomorrow can we bring some dumplings then too? To eat on the way?'

The gravity of the title she gave me made everything make sense.

She'd called me Mother.

This was _our_ daughter.

I gasped, so forcefully I almost ruptured my lungs. As I started intently at her face I began to see parts of myself in her too; the fullness of her lips, the almond shape of her eyes, and the way she smiled.

I, like Kazama, was unable to respond. In fact no one else in the entire village spoke a single word as they watched her. Just to call her my daughter in my head felt strange as for all intents and purposes I had no daughter at the moment, and never did I think I'd end up having one with Kazama.

Did this mean that if I chose to pursue a future with him then this was what was waiting for me? A happy family, just as I'd always wanted?

The girl looked back at Kazama before she pulled herself out of his lap, his hand falling limply to his side, and then she made her way over to me. She was wearing a version of his neck band around her neck and she smelt of autumn.

When she climbed into my lap her body was as hot as his, burning me through her kimono. 'I love you, Mother.' She said, ignoring the fact I hadn't answered her question as she hugged me tightly around the chest. My breath caught in my throat and despite myself I raised my hands to press against her back, holding her against me like it was instinct for me to do so. My throat was swollen with emotion so I couldn't have spoken even if I had wanted to.

All too quickly she pulled away, disappointment sparking in my chest as she left me. She bounced back over to Kazama and kissed his cheek before hugging him around the neck. 'And I love you, Father.' She said, almost a whisper. His hand slowly came up to press to her back as I had done, but it wasn't too long before she pulled away from him too.

Taking a few steps back she looked at both of us in turn with a big smile, and I seized the last few seconds of the vision to memorise her face and the way her eyes sparkled like Kazama's.

And just as that notion crossed my mind, she dissolved into smoke.

When her figure vanished, I felt like I'd been wrenched from a dream. Hanami let go of Kazama's hand and stood up, leaving him sitting motionless on the ground staring at the smoke as it started to dissipate. It raised into the air and grew thinner until only thin wisps of grey remained, before it vanished completely. The fire in the pit was burning normally again.

Even as everyone slowly began to speak, I couldn't look in his direction. I couldn't meet his eyes. There was absolutely no way Kazama and I could ever return to who we were after seeing that. I didn't know what would happen between us now that we'd seen our own child, a child born of our union, and it was bound to make our relationship even more complicated. Not only that but it would make my feelings complicated too.

All the royal family was looking at us as the conversation from the crowd became almost deafening, but it was Yui who approached me first.

She came right up to my side, eyes wide with astonishment. 'Chizuru-sama.' She gasped, not knowing what to bring up first. I smiled as much of a smile as I could manage and it spurred her to continue. 'That was crazy, wasn't it? Wow. And your daughter… she's beautiful.' She said in awe, holding onto my hand. Kazama must have heard her but he said nothing, nor did he move.

I was filled with the sudden urge to go back to my room. I was in desperate need of some time to register all that I'd seen and learnt tonight. First I'd discovered my middle power and then seen my own daughter from the future, a daughter that would have Kazama as her father. I wanted to just curl up under my covers and think for the next few hours because I knew no matter what time I went to bed tonight I would get no sleep.

I said nothing, just gave Yui another smile. I felt like I couldn't speak.

Yui sensed my shock and she leaned in closer to me. 'Are you ok?' She whispered, which everyone would have heard anyway, but I nodded rather dazedly. 'I... I'm ok.' I said finally, forcing out the words. Yui seemed relieved that I'd spoken and her hold loosened on my hand. 'That's good. It's just that you looked a little tired, that's all. It is past midnight so if you would like to go to sleep then just let me know and I'll take you back to your room. You'll need someone to help you out of your dress.'

I blushed vaguely, the embarrassment of being naked in front of another person piercing through my shock. 'Yeah I'm pretty tired. Maybe I'll go to bed soon. I'll let you know when I want to leave.' I promised her.

Yui nodded with a bright smile, her hair brushing over my bare arm. 'Sure thing. As for now maybe do you want to get a late night snack? We can sneak into the kitchens and grab some leftover fruit.' She suggested sneakily like she would be put on death row for getting caught. I was desperate to move as far away from everyone's probing eyes as possible so I agreed. 'Sure, that sounds nice.'

She grinned enthusiastically as she raised herself, helping me up by the hand to stand.

I didn't look at Kazama as we made our way past the fireplace and to the other side, following the narrow path to the entrance.

But I felt his eyes on me the whole way, boring into my back like burning coals.

* * *

I stared up at the ceiling.

Yui had left me an hour ago, and as predicted I was having trouble getting to sleep, but I simply had too much to think about.

I couldn't stop picturing Kazama's expression when he'd looked at her, the way he'd touched her face, and how he'd pressed his hand to her as she'd hugged him. He'd been undeniably as shocked and affected as me, but he'd acted so gentle even though the girl he'd seen was just an apparition.

I closed my eyes to remember her face. She'd been so beautiful, more beautiful than anyone I'd ever seen, and maybe even more beautiful than Kazama. I was having trouble understanding the emotion that I'd felt when I'd seen her for the first time and when she'd hugged me, but the only thing I could think of was that I'd had a glimpse of what it felt like to be a mother.

I sighed, pressing my hands to my forehead. And I'd discovered my middle power too. I had the ability to absorb both the clan and middle powers from other onis through their blood, and it had been prophesised that I would someday possess Kazama's as well. I wondered if anyone had ever had such a power before or at least something similar, but that also reminded me that I had my father's middle power too. It kind of sickened me that I'd gained his power through his death but on the other hand I was glad that I had it, as it was like a piece of his existence lived on in me. Although I was currently unsure about what exactly his power was at least Hanami had told me where to find out.

But how could I ask him? Would I ever be able to speak to Kazama again? At the moment it was unthinkable.

I shuddered when I thought about how awkward tomorrow was going to be, as I hadn't spoken to him since the vision. Yui and I had gone to get something to eat and then I'd told her I wanted to go to bed so she'd taken me straight here. Breakfast with him tomorrow was going to be nigh on unbearable and I didn't know how long it would take for the discomfort to ebb away. It could be days, weeks even. Maybe it would last all the way to Ezo. How was I supposed to function at all around him now that I'd seen that with him I would have the family I'd always craved?

And what would this mean for my feelings towards Hijikata?

As the moon made it arch down in the sky and I sensed it approaching 1am, I rolled over onto my side. I willed for sleep to come but it didn't. I willed to be freed for just a few minutes from the scenes of my daughter, from myself on fire, and from how Kazama had looked in his oni form. I wanted to forget for just another moment that my feelings for him were growing faster than ever.

But no relief came.

For many hours afterwards I lay there, thinking about the events of tonight.

Thinking about him.

* * *

 **Ending note**

 **READ READ READ**

Wooooo so that's another chapter done. Might I add this took a long, long time to write haha, but I smashed it all out in a week and 2 days because I love you all.

ANYWAY, I know this might not interest some of you but I made art for this chapter. The majority I will post on my Instagram **fleurlilas_art** but I have made one of the pictures my Fanfiction profile pic. This is a pic of Chizuru in the dress wearing her headpiece! Please check it out because it took me about 4000 years to draw haha.

Other art I have made for this chapter is:

 ***Chizuru's dress**

 ***Kazama and Chizuru's daughter**

 ***Chizuru on fire**

And I think that's it :D

Btw I know some of you love to read long chapters, but for those of you that don't I apologise immensely as this one was my longest one yet. I'm very, very sorry haha :D

By the way I wrote the poem so I don't need to give credit, apart from to myself!


	36. Map of stars

**READ READ READ**

 **Hey guys, just want to let you know that I got a lot of reviews for the last chapter SO instead of replying individually I'm just going to say a big thank you to everyone and let you all know that I really, really appreciate your reviews SO MUCH! I was hoping you'd all enjoy the last chapter and I was over the moon that I got such a big response for it! I love you all xxoo**

 **However, I will answer the questions that some of you asked:**

 **Alysania-** thanks for the review! To answer your question, 'blood sharing' is a probably leaning more towards sexual/physical. I've described it a bit more in this chapter so hopefully it clarifies some things, but there will be more mentions of it soon :D also they actually do bite each other for blood sharing, unless they are exchanging blood for healing

 **Yona0** \- Thanks for the kind review! To answer your question, there was no reason for the initial blankness in her vision… apart from to create suspense haha! Also I've picked her name already, but I'm not going to tell anyone for now haha!

* * *

 **Map of stars**

I stared impassively at the corner of the room, seated on the end of my bed.

Yui was behind me doing my hair before breakfast and chatting away eagerly as she normally did. She'd come in as soon as I'd woken up and had immediately started to babble on about how amazing the festival had been after I'd left. Apparently it had lasted until 4am and it had been one of the best festivals she'd attended.

But I barely heard her as she spoke.

When I closed my eyes I could still see my daughter, smiling brightly up at me as she hugged me around the chest. I could see still smell her earthy scent, and feel the heat of her skin against mine.

And I could still picture the way Kazama had looked at her. The way he'd touched her.

Out of all the things in my life that I hadn't wanted to do, going to breakfast this morning was at the top. I hadn't been able to look at Kazama last night straight after the vision, and I still wouldn't be able to look at him. Somehow I felt that I'd never be able to meet his eyes again and the uncertainty of how he would behave this morning was gnawing at my insides. Would he be silent and awkward, or would he greet me with a sardonic remark about what we'd seen? Maybe he would just pretend nothing had happened at all.

Yui was threading white flowers through my hair as she spoke. 'You know what would be fun, Chizuru-sama?' She posed exuberantly as her skilful fingers weaved through my dark locks.

I shrugged, trying to mask how my mind was off in dreamland. 'I'm not sure. What?' I asked. Yui propped herself up so she was sitting on her calves. 'Today seems like the perfect day to go fruit picking. What do you think? We could walk down to the plantations with some baskets and fill them up with blueberries and apples, and then make a fruit pie when we get back. Would you like that?' She asked, leaning around to peer at the side of my face as she awaited my answer.

I nodded, smiling softly. 'I would love that.' I said earnestly, realising how much I missed proper cooking. But better yet was how I would be out of the estate for a while and therefore as far away from Kazama as possible, probably for multiple hours. A plague of butterflies spawned in my stomach when I remembered that before I could leave with Yui though I would have to sit through a meal with him, spending that time either in awkward silence or drowned by his egotistical boasting. It was almost impossible for me to decide which scenario would be worse.

When Yui was finished she secured the plait with a hair tie. 'It looks beautiful, Chizuru-sama.' She complimented, sliding off my bed and appearing directly in front of me. I flinched at her sudden appearance but she didn't seem to notice it, instead she picked up my hands and pulled me off the bed.

I stood up without protest, and that's when she said the words I'd been dreading. 'Now, let's go to breakfast.' She said, tilting her head in the direction of the door. 'After that we can put on our capes and some boots and walk down to the orchards. I think it rained last night so the paths might be a bit muddy, but it will be fun nonetheless.' She assured me as she led me over to the door.

I really didn't want to go to breakfast. I considered telling her that I was feeling ill and wanted to go back to bed, but I couldn't lie to her and it was possible Kazama would come and see me anyway to make sure I was ok. I also considered saying that I wasn't hungry at the moment and that she could come and collect me after she'd eaten, but it wasn't like that excuse would save me from him forever. I'd need to eat someday.

Yui held my hand as we exited my room and shut the door behind us. 'So, I'm _dying_ to know…' She begun, the way she left the statement hanging making me bite my lip. 'What was your middle power, Chizuru-sama? It looked like something to do with fire.' She deduced as I shoved my room key into my obi and began to follow her down the hallway.

I hadn't really thought much about whether or not I would tell everyone my middle power, but I decided to tell her anyway. 'It's power mimicry. I can absorb the powers of other onis through their blood.' I murmured, feeling embarrassed as Yui's mouth formed a large O. She practically severed my hand off as she squeezed it. 'What? Really? So what was with the fire then? Did it have something to do with Kazama-sama and his ability? She pressed, and I nodded. 'Yeah… Hanami-sama told me I will have his ability one day too.'

Saying it aloud felt so strange. I pondered the circumstances under which I would accumulate it as I would need to drink his blood in one way or another, or at least it would need to enter my mouth. In my father's case it had been the spray of blood from his wound that had given me a fragment of his power, and even though that notion repulsed me I would make sure that I would use whatever ability I'd gained from him to help people. I would use it to carry on his legacy.

Yui made an impressed sound. 'Wow, so you will possess his clan power _and_ your own. That's pretty amazing. Did Hanami-sama tell you when you would absorb it? And how much power you would get?' She questioned, echoing the things I wanted to know myself. I shook my head. 'She only said I would gain it through blood, although I'm unsure how that would work.' I mumbled, shrugging as we came to the first staircase.

She turned to me as we started to descend the stairs, shaking her head like I was silly. 'Well, that's the obvious part.' She said matter-of-factly as I regarded her with perplexed eyes. 'In your case he will probably offer his blood to you as it's a common practice during courtship. It's also a way of giving energy to an oni who is sick, but given your clan power I doubt you would ever need someone's assistance in healing or recovery.' She clarified, smiling as she saw a blush blossom on my cheeks. Kazama had mentioned in the last village that drinking blood was a means of bonding between onis and that such a thing was also practiced during wedding ceremonies. If we got married, then would I gain his power at the ceremony? Or would he wish to 'bond' with me before that?

Either option made me flush crimson.

I pulled my arms into the sleeves of my kimono timidly, shuffling my feet as I walked. 'Oh.' I murmured, desperate to get off the topic of Kazama for the time being. 'Have you ever been bitten before? If that's not, uh… too private.' I added quickly at the end, but I secretly hoped she would answer my question as I was insatiably inquisitive.

Thankfully Yui, like Kazama, was the sort of person who would answer anything. 'Only once.' She confessed, almost shyly. 'When I was younger I had a fleeting romance with one of the scouts I met through Hato. It only lasted a month or two but it was nice, and I'll never forget the first time I was bitten. It was indescribable. My family found out pretty quickly though because I was also foolish enough to let him bite me on a part of the neck where my kimono couldn't cover, so that was pretty embarrassing, but we ended the relationship shortly after anyway because I was still very young.' She sighed, as if she was reflecting on a pleasant memory.

I found it hard to believe such an act would be pleasurable, but I didn't mention it. 'So how come your family saw the wound? Did it not heal?' I inquired as we took our first step down the last staircase that would lead us to the throne room. My hands were getting sweaty as I approached the dining hall where I knew Kazama would be waiting for me. All I wanted to do was flee the village.

Yui giggled, maybe at my naivety. 'Well it healed eventually, but not for a long time. Bite marks remain for a few days to remind both people of what they shared. When you're bitten you feel like you're connected to them right up until the wound heals and you can feel their presence inside you, and it's even stronger if you bite them in return. There's no way you can forget what it feels like to be marked by another. It's so... _passionate.'_ She said with emphasis, before she unexpectedly turned to me with excited eyes. 'By the way, if you want to know anything else about oni stuff then you're more than welcome to ask. Some things can only be discussed between girls, you know?'

I blushed, nodding in agreement. If Yui was being serious about giving me more oni lessons then I wouldn't turn them down as I still lacked a lot of knowledge about my race. There were so many things that I wanted to know that I couldn't ask Kazama, and after last night it had become even harder to consider asking him the more embarrassing questions. I was desperate for more details on blood sharing, horn touching, and even the process of coming of age in which I would gain my premonition marking. I wanted to ask about other things too like whether or not there were differences in courtship and marriage ceremonies between humans and onis. What about pregnancy? Was it the same as for humans?

When Yui and I stepped off the last stair, a wave of nausea washed over me. I could hear everyone chatting in the Hall even though the door was closed and I was forced to accept that there was no getting out of this, not now. I would very soon be forced to confront the reality of last night and depending on Kazama's mood he would either go easy on me or rub our future in my face. I could just imagine him bragging about how I would eventually surrender to him and how Hijikata would lose me, and the possibility made my face pale. I hoped he would be merciful.

Yui approached the door, placing her hand on the handle and pushing it open.

Everyone turned to look at us, pausing their conversations to register who had entered, and when they recognised us there was a collective round of smiles. I scanned everyone's faces methodically and prayed that by some miracle Kazama wasn't there yet, but as Yui and I started to approach the table I laid eyes upon the very man I'd been so unwilling to see.

When his eyes locked with mine, a rush of heat coursed through my body. He was sitting there as beautiful as ever in a midnight purple haori and black yukata, and his gaze bore right through me to my core. In the brief moment before I looked away I noticed he was appeared to be tired; his eyes were shadowed by a faint grey, not enough to cause alarm but enough to tell me that he too had little sleep last night.

I looked away from him as Yui guided me over to the seat to his left, waiting until I was sitting down before she took her own seat beside me.

Kazama said nothing as I settled into my chair, not even a hello. I thought maybe I sensed that he wanted to speak to me but possibly didn't know if he should given how hesitant I'd been to look at him when I'd first entered the room. We instantly sunk into a deep silence that told me that there would be no boasting at today's meal and probably no talking either, not even when there was a short period of agonising silence where everyone waited for us to address each other. Before now I had thought it impossible that anything could make our situation more awkward and this just had proved that it was indeed possible.

And it was torture. The silence was unbearable.

Once Hanami had discerned we weren't going to speak, she addressed us all. 'Now that we are all here I will request that the food be brought out. After the meal you will be free to do as you wish, and I ask that you use today as an opportunity to rest after last night's festival.' She advised softly, her feet just barely scraping the floor as she sat in her chair.

When she broke the silence I felt the relief from everyone in the room. Slowly I was released from the burdening agony of everybody's eyes, instead being made to suffer now from Kazama's stagnant presence beside me. Still he did not speak and I had to fight in order to keep myself from bolting out of my chair and sprinting back to my room. This was more uncomfortable than I could have ever conceived, and even if I did want to talk I couldn't imagine what I could say to break the ice. This wasn't something we could just put behind us.

As the servants began to bring tea in, Yui placed her hand on my own.

I thought it was just to get my attention but when she eased her mind over mine I knew what she wanted. She was assuring me with her eyes that she could be trusted inside my head, but I was still rather terrified with the thought of anyone but Kazama being in my mind.

However, I didn't want to turn down an opportunity to practice my powers, and I wanted to know what she had to say.

I sighed, breaking down my mind barrier and permitting her to enter. Her presence was lively and bright, in direct opposition to both Kazama and Hanami's minds, and I could sense the lightness and purity of her thoughts. It was such a refreshing change from the gloominess in Kazama's mind even though I adored being connected to him, but I instantly felt comfortable with the link between Yui and I.

Once the link was established, she was the first to talk. _Hey, Chizuru-sama_ : she said giddily.

I was happy that we were talking like this, but I couldn't quite muster up her level of enthusiasm because of who was sitting beside me. _Hey, Yui-san. What's up?:_ I asked, thinking that maybe she had something she wanted to talk to me about. Instead she just smiled, sitting back in her chair. _I just thought that maybe we should make the most of your visit and practice your oni powers as much as possible. It would be quite a waste if you spent all this time in Yamamura and didn't learn anything new, so from now on we can talk telepathically if you wish. Besides, it means we can have secret conversations!_ : she said cheerfully, finishing just in time to thank one of the servants for pouring her tea.

Once she had her tea, the girl filled my cup up as well. 'Thank you.' I said, smiling at her timidly as she bowed and moved onto Kazama.

For the first time since I sat down I snuck a look at his face, leaving Yui hanging for a response. His eyes were looking blankly at his tea cup as it was filled and his hands were placed in his lap, and it was then that I felt a pang of something close to desperation well up in my chest. I realised that I _wanted_ to speak to him but I had no idea what to say, and it didn't make it any easier that everyone was watching us too. My biggest fear at the moment was that we would never go back to how we were before and that this would change the dynamic of our relationship forever. There was nothing more horrible than thinking that we would be trapped in this muteness for the rest of the journey.

Just before I could even start to consider what I could say, Yui's voice entered my head. _Are you… are you angry with him?_

Her question was so surprising that I immediately turned around to face her, maybe too quickly. _Angry…? Uh, no. I'm not angry with him. Why's that?_ : I asked, my reaction rapid enough that Yui instantly knew it had startled me. She blushed, shrugging as she lowered her eyes. _Well… it's just that normally you both talk incessantly during breakfast but today you are silent. You didn't speak to him last night either, so I just thought that maybe you were angry with him for asking about your future together. After all, his question was actually quite dangerous. He could have seen something that would have ruined your relationship permanently_ : she said.

She was right of course, but I still wasn't angry with him.

I shrugged, idly tracing the patterns on my tea cup with my spare hand. _I'm not angry. I'm just confused, I guess_ : I mumbled, accidentally letting out a soft sigh. Before I could panic about sighing aloud Yui had already started to answer. _Confused? Did you not think you and him would get married eventually?:_ she asked, blinking innocently at the astonished expression I made. Her question was even more shocking than the last one and I grit my teeth as my whole face went red. She made it sound like our union was common knowledge.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, unable to look at her. _We were enemies for 4 years so I can safely say in that time it never crossed my mind that we would be wed, as I used to be terrified of him. Even though I don't feel like that anymore it's still so strange to think about the possibility of marriage because I…well, it's complicated_ : I sighed, becoming increasingly aware of how close I was to admitting something I would regret. Normally by this stage I would have attempted to change the subject but Yui was now entirely invested in the conversation and I knew she wouldn't drop the issue without a fight. Not only that but I knew I needed to talk to someone about this as it had been bottled up inside me for so long. I felt like I was going mad.

Yui reached over to grasp my hand with her spare one too. _So… why is it complicated?_

I took in a soft breath as I prepared myself to tell the truth. I would have had to tell her at some stage that I was in love with someone else, and in some way or another she probably already knew. She either would have already guessed it or she would have sensed it through the use of her power, but even if that was true it didn't feel any easier telling her.

I bit my lip. _The truth is that… well, I'm in love with a human man:_ I admitted almost shamefully, my shoulders slumping as I added the last detail. _That's why I'm going to Ezo. To find him._

When Yui said nothing for a while, terror rose within me. It must have sounded so ridiculous for a pureblood oni to say they were in love with a human, and especially an oni who was a clan leader. To someone like Yui who'd grown up in a human village and had been taught that humans were to be feared she must have thought I was more than just insane, and I found I still couldn't look up to gauge her expression no matter how much I wanted to.

Finally Yui nodded slowly, like she'd only just understood what I'd said. _I see. Does Kazama-sama know?_ : She asked. There was no trace of disgust or disbelief in her voice so I took that to be a good sign.

Slightly reassured, I gave my answer. _Yes he does. He's known for a long time_ : I answered, watching as a group of maids entered with food. Yui was looking at them too but I could see in her eyes that she was still wholly absorbed by our conversation. _I can imagine he wouldn't like that_ : she said to herself, before she turned back to me and carried on. _But how do you feel about Kazama-sama then? To be honest when you first arrived here I thought you were courting, or at least close to it. You both seem so in sync_ : she said casually, having no idea how much her observation had flustered me.

I supressed the need to hyperventilate, closing my mouth when I realised it was agape. She'd just asked me how I felt about Kazama! She'd even thought we were courting!

When a maid placed some food down in front of me, I thanked her and relished in the last seconds of peace before I would have to give my reply. What was I going to say? Would I try and find a way around telling the truth or would I just come right out and say it? I'd never told anyone that I had feelings for him and I never thought I would, at least not on this journey. Even Sen would have had to wait until I'd summoned the courage to tell her.

As the maid moved on to Kazama, I didn't look at him this time. I couldn't, because I decided I was going to tell Yui the truth.

I licked my dry lips. _I… like him. Probably more than I think I do:_ I almost whispered, as if he might hear me.

Yui's reaction was instant; a sharp inhale, a jolt in her chair, and then she clutched my hand so hard I feared she'd break all of my bones. _Really, Chizuru-sama? Oh, wow! Have you told him yet? You have to…_

 _No_ : I interrupted sharply, blushing as it came out harsher than I intended. _I can't let him know how I feel. If I did then I would never hear the end of it. Besides, if he knows how I feel then once we reach Ezo he'll pressure me to come with him and I don't know if I'm ready for that. And the other man… I don't know if I'd be able to let him go_ : I murmured, permitting someone see for the first time just how much this was impacting me. The more my feelings grew, the more conflicted I was about my choice. I still didn't feel as strongly for Kazama as I did for Hijikata which was understandable given the circumstances of our past and the difference in time we'd spent together, but whatever I felt now was enough to make me second guess what I wanted. And that frightened me.

Yui picked at her breakfast and smiled like she knew she could solve all my problems. _It must be troubling to have such a big decision ahead of you. But if you trust your heart then you will make the right choice, as long as you remember the right choice isn't always the easiest. In fact it's often the one that hurts the most_ : she said mysteriously, taking a bite of an apple.

I paused the discussion there as I started to eat as well, my hand still sitting tentatively in Yui's. I already knew that whatever I chose would hurt, whether that would be Kazama or Hijikata, but for the moment it was unbearable to think of picking either of them. On one hand if I chose Hijikata then I would leave all this behind; my kin, the chance of living in an oni village and my right as clan leader. But if I chose Kazama then I would be forced out of the only world I'd known, the human world, and I would lose the Shinsengumi too. It was all too much to think about right now.

As Yui and I ate our breakfast in silence, I took another quick look at Kazama.

I watched sullenly as he picked up his teacup, taking a slow sip. I almost missed his jesting, his smirk and his infuriating ability to win every argument, and in that moment I realised just how much I'd come to like his dry sense of humour. Now that I was faced instead with this impenetrable restlessness between us I would have given anything for him to be teasing me.

No sooner did that thought cross my mind did he flick his eyes in my direction.

I rapidly looked back down at my hand in Yui's, blushing furiously that he'd caught me looking. I would have given anything to know what he was thinking about and if he felt the same way I did. My heart was pounding so animatedly I feared it would jump up into my throat.

After I'd recovered and everyone had finished eating, Hanami stood up. 'Thank you for convening here in the Hall for breakfast. You may now do as you wish, and I will see you all for lunch.' She said, bowing briefly before moving behind her chair.

Everyone got up too, including Yui and I, and she hooked our arms together. _Are you ready, Chizuru-sama?_ : she asked cheerfully.

I nodded, smiling as I thought of the day we'd planned. _Yes, I'm ready. You said we were going to get some boots and stuff right?_ : I clarified, pushing in my chair without encouragement so I could power walk out of the room and as far away from Kazama as possible. Yui nodded, pushing in her own chair and beginning to lead me over to the door. _Yep. Once we've got some warmer clothes then we will leave. It's about a 30 minute walk each way, and it will take us a further hour or two to gather what we need and cook it but we should be finished in time for lunch_. _That would be nice because it would mean everyone would be able to try our fruit pie!_ : she gasped, doing a short skip as she pushed open the door.

I was just about to respond to her when a warm hand grabbed mine, preventing me from leaving the Hall.

When I spun around and looked at the person who had grabbed me, I froze. Kazama was standing there looking at me almost like he was having trouble meeting my eyes, and however fast my heart was beating before it was nothing compared to now.

His eyes met mine gingerly, but there was a hint of sternness to them as well. 'Chizuru, come for a walk with me.' He ordered.

I stared at him vacantly, trying to hide the panic that was bubbling under my skin. I had no clue what he wanted to say on this walk but I knew I wasn't quite ready for the awkwardness of it yet. Even though I was dying for to speak to him, the knowledge that we would need to talk about what had happened last night made me feel like I was going to throw up.

I swallowed, averting my eyes. 'But Yui and I w…were going to…'

'Chizuru.' He said, cutting me off.

My eyes shot back up to him, but his face remained neutral despite his tone. I knew straight away that this was not negotiable and he would not let me leave this estate without having taken a walk with him first. I started to feel faint as I stared into his ruby eyes, knowing that this could either go really bad or really good. I felt like I was going to collapse.

The next person to speak was Yui, but her voice was not audible to Kazama. _Chizuru-sama, you should go with him. It sounds like you and Kazama-sama need to talk, so I'll wait for you near your room_ : she advised, confirming what I knew but didn't want to admit.

I didn't respond to her, nodding instead at Kazama. 'Ok.'

He relaxed a little at my surrender, and Yui let go of my hand. She gave me a small smile that said 'good luck' before she bowed to us both then tottered though the door, leaving me alone with the man I'd been hoping to avoid for the rest of the day.

Kazama watched her leave, and it was only after she'd disappeared from sight did he speak. 'Let's go.' He said, opening the door and letting me exit before him.

I did as he'd asked, fighting hard to keep my breakfast down. Why did I feel like I was about to be executed rather than spoken to? My mind was telling me that I was overreacting but the heaviness of anxiety sitting in my stomach was a constant reminder of the gravity of the discussion we were about to have. Actually, when I thought about it I didn't even know what there was to say. We'd both seen our future and knew what it meant, so what was there to discuss? Maybe he just wanted to talk about normal things to relieve the tension between us. Or maybe not.

We both walked over to the door that lead us outside, and Kazama pushed it open. The courtyard had been cleaned from last night so it appeared that nothing had even transpired there; no festival, no dancing, no fire, and no visions of the future.

It was only when we reached the last step did he reach out to take my hand.

The relief I felt from our touch was immeasurable. I'd been dying to receive a hint of normalcy from him again, and this was most definitely it. Here in Yamamura we'd often held hands to communicate or just because he felt like irritating me, so for him to make that move gave me more relief that I thought possible.

However, when his mind skimmed over mine I knew exactly what he wanted, and I knew I couldn't refuse it.

I lowered my mind barrier somewhat hesitantly, almost sighing aloud at the instant gratification I got from his presence easing into my head. The last time we'd spoken telepathically was only last night but it felt like an eternity because I'd already had 2 other minds inside my own since then.

Kazama wavered on the edge of speech for a bit before he finally succumbed to it. _You left me last night_ : he said, not sounding particularly distressed but he'd probably intended for such a statement to lead to something else.

I blushed, staring down at my shuffling feet. _I know_ : I murmured, not knowing what else to say. Kazama lead me around the fire pit and closer to the courtyard gates, ignoring my unhelpful response. I prayed that the rest of the conversation would flow better than these first few sentences as I could not handle an entire dialogue of a few words at a time.

It was as if he'd read my thoughts because he resumed our discourse with a question. _Are you angry with me?_

I looked at him with as much shock as I had when Yui had asked me that and replied just as urgently. _No, I'm not angry. Why... why would you think that?:_ I inquired as we moved past the gates. He kept his eyes straight ahead as we passed them, shrugging. _Your silence tells me more than your words sometimes. Plus you left last night without so much as a glance in my direction, so I gathered that you weren't pleased about what I'd chosen to ask_.

Now that he'd mentioned it, at the time that he'd asked his question I'd been angry because I'd been scared of what the answer could be. But now I was just bewildered and astonished.

We turned left just past the gate, walking along a thin path that ran parallel to the estate wall. I didn't know where he was taking me but that was the least of my worries right now.

I swallowed, deciding I had to say something back to keep the conversation going. _Well I promise I'm not angry. And I'm sorry I left without warning but...I was tired_ : I confessed, hoping that would suffice and thankfully it did, as his whole body relaxed. _I see. I am relieved you're not angry, then._

Once he finished speaking I turned away, unable to meet his gaze for too long. I was still conscious of the lingering awkwardness between us in addition to the distracting warmth of his hand, both of which made it difficult to withstand his eye contact.

There was a brief moment of silence before he sighed _. Look, Chizuru_ …: he said, the way he'd trailed off making me nervous, but he continued after he'd ran a hand through his hair _. I know it may take some time for you to process who we saw but I don't wish for you to avoid me unnecessarily. Do you understand?_ : he asked, stopping in the middle of the path.

I was forced to stop too, relieved yet embarrassed about how he'd brought it up so directly. _I understand_ : I said softly, blushing as his eyes raked my face for clues on how I felt. I anxiously pushed some hair behind my ears as he drew in a breath to speak again. _Good_ : he said, his fingers slipping under my chin to lift my face to his. _Because I don't want this to be a source of unease between us_.

I managed to look at his face when he tilted my head up, my stomach doing flips as his eyes glowed red in the early dawn light. He appeared both stoic and gentle, and I knew that he was serious about what he'd said. He wanted there to be no more awkwardness between us and for us to go back to how it was before, and even though I still felt that was largely impossible because of the nature of what we'd seen I was willing to try anyway.

After a few seconds he gestured for us to keep walking _. Come_ : he said, leaving me curious as to where he was taking me. We started to move again and eventually came to a long set of stairs that lead up to the peak. They were edged with elaborately decorated stone railings so I presumed they lead us to somewhere special, but whatever that place was it was not visible from down here.

I walked up the steps with Kazama by my side, comfortable enough to ask our destination. _Where are we going?_ : I asked, brushing my hands over the embellishment on the railing as we ascended. Kazama watched the train of my eyes before giving a cryptic answer. _I wanted to show you something before we left Yamamura. It will give you a bit more of an insight into our history and practices_ : he said simply, leaving me just as puzzled as I'd been before.

I nodded, too shy to ask for clarification so I resigned myself to waiting patiently until I saw it myself.

When I looked around us, I began to see how high we were climbing. I could now peek into the courtyard from above and I remarked how beautiful the gardens and hedges appeared amongst the stone pavement. My fear of heights was settling in but Kazama's warm hand reminded me that he wouldn't let me fall or get hurt, so I allowed myself to admire everything without panic. The thick blanket of cloud remained hovered just below the bottom of the village, stretching out as far as I could see and leaving the sky above us perfectly blue and clear. I could see the slightest dusting of stars in the sky in addition to a faint silver moon sitting low on the horizon. The sight was incredible.

Kazama's voice sliced through my thought like a blade. _We are here_ : he said, almost a whisper.

In response to his comment, I spun around to face whatever he'd brought me up here to see.

It was a large garden with pebble paths and green hedges, a garden that appeared to be the complete opposite of the one in the courtyard. The flower beds came in all different shapes and sizes, curving around seating areas and stone statues, hosting a range of different plants I'd never seen before. There were flowers of deep shades of purples and reds, and shrubs dotted with small berries, and at the end of the garden to my left was an oval-shaped grassed area edged with large trees. It was seemingly impossible that these types of plants could exist here, but it wasn't the most shocking thing I could see.

To my right there was a large gazebo located precariously close to the edge of the cliff. It had black marble flooring and dark stairs leading to the entrance, both its inner and outer stone walls coated in clusters of pale grey lichen. Its gloominess appeared quite out of place in a garden filled with light-coloured plants and white pebbles, and it evoked a strange feeling inside of me. I swore I could smell the stench of death mingling with the scent of the wind and soil.

There was something not quite right with this garden.

Kazama pulled me past the small gate and onto the pebbles. _This is known as the Soul Garden_ : he said, drawing me deeper into its midst. The name meant nothing to me, as expected, and I felt my skin crawl as I fixed my eyes back on the gazebo. _What's its purpose?_ : I asked, trying not to focus on the slight air of remaining discomfort between us. We passed a large statue of a naked oni woman holding a dagger in her hands and I subconsciously moved closer to him. Her eyes were staring at something past us and I saw she had a deep cut in her breast.

I decided then that I didn't like this place.

Kazama lead me closer to the gazebo, his steps slow and idle. _This is where soul binding used to be practiced before it was abolished by the Shinobi clan 200 years ago. As the name suggests, the ceremony would bind the souls of 2 people to make them more powerful, but it had many other uses too. It could even fuse the soul of a human and an oni_ : he explained, his eyes analysing a bed of pale blue flowers as we passed them. I'd never heard of such a practice before and it startled me that even humans could participate in it too.

I analysed the flowers with him for a while before I thought of something to ask. _Why was such a practice abolished?:_ I murmured as Kazama and I grew closer to the gazebo. We passed another statue before we reached the steps, this time of a naked man holding a similar dagger to the female.

When I followed his line of sight, my blood ran cold; he was staring at the woman from across the garden, and she at him.

Kazama paused before the first of the gazebo's steps. _Soul binding does not have a very high success rate. Only half of the couples survived the ceremony, so when the Shinobi clan came into power they voted to ban the practice. There are a few exceptions to this, however, such as for those who are either summoned to it by prophecy or obligated to undergo the ceremony because of tradition. For example, many of the Yume clan leaders still partake in it but thankfully they have a much higher survival rate than other clans because of this mountain's link to their ancestor Ishi_.

I frowned, remembering what Kazama told me about how we came into existence. _Are you referring to the story of our origin, the one that you told me about how the clans originated?_ : I gasped, turning to face him now that we had stopped walking. Kazama had told me a long time ago about Ishi, our first ancestor, and how he'd lived on a mountain for hundreds of years before descending and producing pureblood offspring with his human partner. Could he mean that this mountain where he'd spent part of his life?

Kazama's lips tweaked into a small smirk, and I rejoiced in that short sign of normality. _Indeed. This is the mountain that he resided on before he relocated to the human village where he met his wife. It is because of his past presence here that this place pulses with power, and it is because of that power that soul binding can occur. Here in this structure is where it is done_ : he stipulated, turning from me to gesture to the gazebo next to us.

Now that I was closer, I could see there was a long line of shapes cut into the stone walls of the gazebo. They run up its wall to the ceiling then back down the other side like an arch, each one a different phase of the moon. The full moon was located on the ceiling, and the light that spilled in through it illuminated the black marble floor below.

I swallowed, unsure if I wanted to know the answer to my next question. _So what happens during the ceremony? How are the souls bound together?_ : I asked, tracing each of the moon's phases with my eyes.

Kazama's reply was hesitant, as if he knew it would disturb me, but it was more horrifying than I could have imagined.

 _Mutual suicide, Chizuru_ : he said, keeping his eyes on my face.

I took a step back from the gazebo, understanding in that moment why the whole garden smelt of death. I couldn't even fathom how many people had perished on the marble floor of this structure.

Kazama continued even though he could see I was turning white. _There is a special pair of daggers located within the Yume estate for this purpose. Either each individual ends their own life, or they may choose to end each other's. Souls cannot be bound while they are still contained within the body so they must be released in order for the practice to be effective. Once the souls are freed then they mix together and split again, returning to their hosts and bringing them back to life unharmed. But if it's unsuccessful then their souls are laid to rest here, in this garden_ : he said.

I was repulsed. How on earth could they have condoned such a practice in the first place? Even if both people survived they were bound to be traumatised for years for having killed themselves or their partner. Was power really worth the risk of losing your own life or the life of your lover, or even your sanity? The only thing that consoled me was the knowledge that it had been more or less banned.

I turned away from the gazebo, unable to look at it anymore. _Is that why all these plants exist? Because they're being… sustained?_ : I asked with a tinge of repulsion. I wanted him to shake his head, to say no, but unfortunately my worst nightmare was confirmed when he nodded. _These plants are given life through the souls that reside here, hence why they are able to survive on the peak of a mountain. I know this must disturb you, but understand that even after death these people are not separated from their partners. Their souls remain here together._

That didn't really do much to comfort me, but I appreciated his effort.

When I took in a deep breath to distil my nausea, Kazama tugged on my hand. _We shall walk for a bit longer, then I will take you back to the estate where you may leave with Yui_ : he said, beginning to walk away from the gazebo. I was relieved that we were moving away from the site of probably hundreds of deaths but I was disappointed that the end of our walk may have been not so far away. I wanted to stay with him for a bit longer now that our discomfiture was ebbing away, slowly but surely.

He took us past the unnerving statues and towards the grassed area. _So…_ : he said, trailing off suspiciously as we neared a stone bench on the edge of the grass. _Would you mind explaining to me why I saw a depiction of you using my clan power last night?_

I bit my lip. I'd know he would bring this up eventually, but I hadn't know it would be so soon.

I remained silent for a bit, wondering how I would play this. Even though I felt we were still walking on thin glass there was a part of me that knew this was the perfect revenge for all the times he'd been reluctant to share information with me. Mainly his own middle power. Which I _still_ didn't know.

I kicked a pebble as we walked, watching it bounce into a garden bed. _It was a clue to my middle power_ : I said, a generic statement which would have meant nothing to him, and he frowned slightly at the obscureness of my reply. _I am aware of that, as I heard you ask that question of Hanami. So now I'm wondering what your middle power has to do with my clan power._

I shrugged again, running the risk of irritating him in the near future but I couldn't help myself. _I'm not sure if I want to tell you that, Kazama-san, as you still haven't told me yours. Maybe I should make you… make you guess it_ : I managed to force out, my cheeks burning hotter than his hand around mine.

I saw him frown down at me out of the corner of my eye, but he didn't appear to be getting frustrated. _I see. You wish for revenge, do you?_ : he sighed, pulling me onto the lawn with him. _Are you going to give me a clue at least, or would you prefer a trade? A middle power for a middle power_ : he suggested confidently, sitting down on a bench and pulling me down with him.

Once we were both seated, I thought long and hard about his proposal. It still didn't seem quite fair because I'd already worked so hard on narrowing down the possibilities of his middle power and here he was about to know mine without having to try at all. I was pretty convinced I would be able to reduce it to 1 or 2 if I really tried, as the last time I'd thought about this I'd deduced that it was either the Amagiri, Shiranui, Nagumo or Hoshi clan powers. At the moment I was almost certain it wasn't the first 2… maybe even the first 3.

And with the foreign languages I'd seen in his 'diary' the other day, I could have probably confidently guessed it was the latter anyway; the Hoshi clan. With his amazing drawing skills, his ability to find everything without a map, and the languages in his journal it just made the most sense. In addition he'd been able to translate the Yamamura language into Japanese for me when we'd first arrived in the village, such as when Hato requested entry into the secret door and the children had addressed me as lehen prëta. He shouldn't have been able to speak their language if he hadn't grown up here.

I had to smile to myself then, knowing that I may have just done it. I was almost certain that I was right this time.

I sat by his side and placed my spare hand in my lap, watching the shadows of the tree above our heads sway on my skin. _I think I already know your middle power anyway, Kazama-san_.

That produced an immediate reaction from him.

He leaned around to look directly at my face, lifting it further towards his with his fingers under my chin. _Is that so? Then please, do share:_ he encouraged, his thumb sliding over my lips. I went redder but didn't pull away from him, peering past his face at the large trees on the other side of the lawn. _Well… after gathering some clues here and there… I think your middle power may be_ …: I paused, imploring that I hadn't got it wrong. Who knew what he would do if I guessed incorrectly. He might never admit the real one to me then.

I bit my lip, my eyes shifting back to his momentarily. _The Hoshi clan?:_ I murmured.

Kazama's lips twisted into a full blown smirk, his eyes lighting up and erasing any and all remaining sparks of unease. I was so unbelievably thankful to see this expression reappear on his face and I told myself that from then on I would always remember what it had been like without it.

Kazama chuckled, a pleasant sound. _May I ask why you think that?_ : he requested, but his body language told me I'd been correct anyway. I lowered my head to hide my triumphant smile. _When you first told me about the Hoshi clan you said they were skilled in navigation, linguistics and the arts. I've never seen you use a map and you always seem to know where everything is, so that was the first clue. Secondly, you were able to tell me what everyone was saying here even though you shouldn't have been able to speak the language, and also I saw lots of languages in that blue book that's normally in your bag, so I presumed it was your journal or something. And lastly, when you drew a picture of me at the last village… it was, umm… it was really good_ : I said, blushing at the last sentence. I still had that picture in my bag, tucked away safely in one of the inner pockets.

Kazama let my face go and leaned back against the bench, adopting a smug simper. _Well done, kitten_ : he said, confirming my guess. _But I suppose that means I have nothing to trade with you anymore, does it?_

I buzzed for a little longer about guessing his middle power correctly, before I started to consider if there was anything else I wanted from him. What else had he refused to tell me over the past 2 and a half months? He'd told me about his clan power, his relationship to Amagiri's clan, his sister and the fate of his parents, and now I knew his middle power so…

All of a sudden I remembered something, something he'd refused to tell me about a long time ago.

I turned to Kazama, attracting his undivided attention. _Tell me about your premonition marking_ : I entreated, sitting up straighter in my seat.

He raised an eyebrow at my command but it quickly faded to a smirk. _And then will you tell me your middle power?_ : he asked, making sure I had no way out of it. I didn't react for a few seconds while I confirmed with myself that such a trade was appropriate, and then I nodded. _I promise_ : I said.

Kazama suddenly sighed, turning away from me to peer up at the sky. _But you do not wish to see it on my body, do you?:_ he confirmed, to which I flushed even deeper scarlet. Some part of my mind was telling me that I did just so I could get a glimpse of his milky skin again, but the rest was reminding me that it was a very bad idea. Another memory of his bare flesh in my mind was the last thing I needed at this point in time.

I shook my head, staring back down in my lap. _You can just tell me what it is and what it means. I don't need to see it_ : I mumbled, and he chuckled lightly before shifting his gaze back to me. _Very well. I will explain it to you shortly, but for now there is something I wish to show you._

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously as he held my hand tighter, turning from me to look back up at the sky. _And what would that be?_ : I pressed, keeping my eyes narrowed until he gave me a response. _I wish to exchange my sense of sight with you for a moment, so you can see what I'm seeing. Everything will make sense soon_ : he assured me, smirking even though he wasn't looking at my face.

I was bemused about why he'd need to show me what he was seeing now, as it was likely to be exactly what I was seeing. His oni eyes weren't activated so I presumed he would be faced with the same world that I was, the scene of a haunting garden, a green lawn and a large tree hanging over our heads. What could he possibly see that I couldn't?

I sighed, sinking into the bench as I capitulated. _Ok:_ I said, making myself vulnerable to whatever he wanted to show me.

Once Kazama had received my permission, he closed his eyes. _Chizuru, shut your eyes too_ : he ordered, refusing to give his next order until I'd done so. I swallowed nervously then did as he'd asked, sitting there next to him as the world became black. With no vision I could focus even more on the feeling of our fingers intertwined, the sound of his breathing and the scent of his skin. It would have almost been relaxing to rest like this with him if it hadn't have been for the uncertainty brewing inside me of what he wanted me to see.

Without warning, I felt a bubble of pressure enter my head.

I knew exactly what it was, having felt it before when we exchanged tastes and memories. This was what I felt when he wished to share something with me, and I also knew that all I had to do to open it was touch it gently with my mind.

I gently did exactly that, feeling it unfurl and release his sense of sight. My eyes were still closed so I couldn't see what exactly he was sharing with me, and I wouldn't open them until he'd told me to. I hoped he would give me at least a few more seconds to prepare myself for whatever it was.

After a while, Kazama smirked inside my head. _You can open your eyes now, but make sure you're looking up at the sky._

I nodded even though he couldn't see it, tipping my head back to rest against the back of the bench. My face was now angled upwards and I was getting fearful of what I would be faced with, but I knew whatever I was going to see wouldn't be something bad. It was unbelievable how much I trusted him now.

Slowly, I opened my eyes.

I expected the first thing I saw to be the blue of the sky, but there _was_ no blue. Only purple, deep and beautiful and vibrant, a shade of indigo I'd never seen not once in my entire life.

I shrunk back further into my seat, scared into silence by what I was confronted with. The sky was now a giant, all consuming endless pit of purple, swirling with various shades of electric blues and reds. It appeared to go on forever without an end, a giant cavern filled with sparkling spheres, and giant flaming orbs, and things I didn't even have a name for. Gushing down from the sky were streams of purple light which bathed our surroundings in a violet glow, turning my skin from ivory to lilac.

But one thing I did recognise were the stars. There were millions of them, some closer to us than others and smeared across the sky like splatters of silver paint. Some were burning brightly and others seemed to be nearing the end of their life, but no matter how incredibly beautiful the sight was I just didn't understand it. I didn't know what this was.

I squeezed my eyes shut again, unable to comprehend what on earth he'd just shown me.

Kazama's voice seeped into my head as he sensed I'd closed my eyes. _This is space, Chizuru_ : he said, like it explained everything when in reality it didn't. _Open your eyes again_.

I shook my head, keeping them glued shut. _I don't think I can_ : I wheezed, reflecting on how it looked like the whole thing was swallowing me alive, encapsulating not only my body but everything around me. The purple light streaming down from the sky had made even the earth seem alien, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to see something so inexplicable again.

Kazama reassured me by shifting closer to my body, so close that his thigh pressed to mine. 'Come now, I would not have shown you this if it would hurt you.' He said aloud, reiterating what I already knew but couldn't process right now. He urged me once more with a sigh. 'If you open your eyes I will explain everything. You will not be as frightened if you understand what you're seeing.' He promised.

After a few efforts at coaxing, I finally gave in. _Ok… I'll open my eyes_ : I murmured, taking in a deep breath.

I sensed his relief, and he relaxed beside me now that I'd calmed down too.

This time I opened them even slower, allowing myself to get used to the odd shapes hanging in the sky. I didn't know how I could tell how far away everything was and yet see everything perfectly, especially the crater-covered moon resting on the edge of the horizon, and the sun that was raising on the other side. It was rippling with fire, shooting rays of light in all direction, but not even its radiance could overpower the lavender light pouring down from the vastness of space. Even though this was the second time I'd seen it I still was having trouble keeping my eyes open. It was breathtaking, indescribably remarkable, but it was terrifying too.

Kazama's face was completely relaxed, as he must have seen this hundreds of times. _My mother's clan power allows me to choose to see the sky like this, so I can use the stars and the planets as a guide._ _I'm going to show you how I do it so watch carefully_ : he revealed, encouraging me to focus even though my mind was almost incapable of concentration right now.

He lifted his hand to point at one of the stars, the one right above our heads. _This is Polaris, or the North Star. This is the ones humans use to navigate as it's the only star that has a relatively fixed position in the sky._ _When I think of somewhere I wish to go, a collection of stars called a starline guides me in its direction, starting from Polaris. Look._

I was practically braindead from disbelief as the star he'd pointed to started to shine brighter, blazing so white it made the others seem dull. I watched with a mix of fear and curiosity as the one next to it lit up too, joining to the first with a line of white light and then connecting to the star beside it in the same manner. One by one the stars connected to each other to form a line that stretched all the way to the north like a chain of silver, sparkling pearls.

When the strand of stars had formed, Kazama traced the line they'd created with his finger. _This is the starline I just mentioned._ _The places it can guide me to must be towns or landmarks unless it's an area I've already been to, so it cannot lead me to people or objects. The starline you see now is pointing to Aomori_ : he said.

I was blown away with his explanation. How was this even possible? It was extraordinary and crazy at the same time that not only could he see into space but he could use the stars in this way to find his way. The starline he'd created was still present above our heads and stretching to the horizon, and the fact that he seemed so eager to explain everything made it even more intriguing.

Suddenly he dropped his hand, eyes still lifted to the heavens. _And this brings me to my premonition marking:_ he said, the iridescent colours of space mixing with the crimson in his eyes. _Scattered through the sky are star formations called constellations, and my marking consists of three of them: Ursa Major, Ursa Minor and the constellation Cassiopeia, which was my mother's name. My marking foretold I would inherit her clan power in addition to my father's, and one day when you are not so afraid of my flesh I will show it to you. It's located on my right side, along my ribs_ : he disclosed, his last remark causing me to blush. I did want to see it now that I knew what and where it was, but I would never admit that to him. Especially not now.

I said nothing, instead allowing myself to be absorbed by the beauty of space and the mystery of what I was seeing. I realised now why I'd often caught him looking up at the sky both while we were riding and when we'd set up camp for the night. He had been studying his own personal map; a map of the stars.

Minutes passed before he broke the peaceful silence, requesting the inevitable. _I believe it's your turn to fulfil your end of the deal_ : he spurred, not needing to elaborate. I knew exactly what he meant but even when I started to plan my answer I couldn't take my eyes off the sky.

I swallowed, wondering how he would take the news that I would absorb his clan power one day. Would he presume that it would be through blood sharing just as Yui had? Maybe it would be by accident like it had been with my father? I wasn't sure, but I couldn't imagine ever biting him even if it _was_ considered normal.

Wouldn't it... hurt?

I licked my dry lips, fiddling with the trimming of my apricot coloured kimono. _My middle power is... well, Hanami-sama called it power mimicry. Through blood I can absorb other people's clan and middle powers, and... she said I'd acquire yours one day too:_ I said, voice shaking as I tore my eyes from the sky to look back down at the purple tinged garden and at Kazama, who hadn't moved a muscle.

He stared at me for a bit without speaking before I finally saw the comprehension ease into his face. _Is that so?_ : he mused, deep in thought. _Well_ _I can probably guess how that will come about._

I froze, fully aware of what he was insinuating, and I turned away from him to glare at the lilac-stained grass. It was as I predicted; Kazama believed that it would be through blood sharing that I would gain his power, exactly what Yui had thought too. For a second I pondered what such an act would be like, how it would feel like to drink someone's blood and have them drink my own. I recalled how sensitive my fangs had been when Kazama had touched them when I'd first transformed, so for them to pierce flesh would probably result in a sensory overload.

I flushed cherry red, marginally ashamed at what I was thinking about. Drinking blood sounded so... dirty. How could something like that be pleasurable? For me _and_ for him?

Only making things worse for myself, I banished all thoughts of biting and blood in order to ask a question I'd been dying to know. _Kazama-san... do you know what my father's middle power was?_ : I inquired, a hint of embarrassment still lacing my words.

Kazama seemed to be still thinking about what I'd told him, so his response was delayed. _Your father was capable of contacting anyone as long as he was in possession of something they owned. He could also enter their dreams or pull them into trances with him so he could interact with them physically too_ : he said casually, evidently having no clue as to the reason I'd asked.

Just as I had last night, it required some time to comprehend exactly what that meant. Hanami said I only possessed a fragment of his power so I probably wouldn't be able to do _all_ that, but even so it sounded pretty useful. I promised myself that I would try to practice it as much as I could for him, to make him proud even though he wasn't here anymore.

I nodded, thankful for his cooperation. _Hanami-sama said I had a small part of his power too, although I'm unsure how much_ : I admitted, hoping that he wouldn't ask how I'd accumulated his blood. It wasn't something I enjoyed thinking about, let alone talking about and fortunately he didn't mention it. _I see_... _well_ , _I must admit_ _your middle power is quite impressive, Chizuru. I always knew you were powerful, and this just proves it_ : he complimented, but I sensed underneath his words that there was something else he wanted to say.

I looked at him quizzically just as he withdrew his sense of sight from my head.

Instantaneously the garden returned to green, the purple light disappeared, and the starline he'd shown me vanished. When I looked up at the sky it was undeniably plain in comparison to the startling purple it had been moments ago, and I was disheartened that he'd taken it away from me without warning. I hoped he'd let me see it again soon.

My lips pursed in disappointment, but Kazama's sigh brought me back to reality. _Chizuru...:_ he said suddenly, the caution in his voice replacing my prior discontentment with dread. _About last night... I believe you have the right to know what Hanami told me, as the vision was as much yours as it was mine. So my question is this: do you wish to know what she said?_

I went rigid, a thousand different emotions flaring in me at once.

I'd never considered he would offer to tell me this of his own accord and particularly not so soon. I understood where he was coming from when he'd said I had a right to know, because I did, but I wasn't sure if I was ready yet. I couldn't even imagine what was said about his vision and what kinds of things he'd been told but... well, she'd been my daughter too.

I could only nod, rendered mute by the fear of what I was about to learn.

Kazama regarded me somewhat sceptically as if he thought I actually wasn't ready, but he didn't refute my decision. _Hanami said that she will be our first born, the first child of... many:_ he said, the closest to murmuring I'd ever heard him. S _he said that her power will far exceed our own, even from an early age, and that she will be born after a great trial where you and I will both be tested. She did not divulge the nature of this trial, however, stating only that it would occur within the first few years of our marriage._

I inhaled a sharp breath almost as if I was in pain, a similar dread settling in my stomach when Hanami had brought up my 'eternal night' prophecy. Even though this future wasn't a reality at the moment I was still scared about what it meant to have a 'trial' waiting for us. I felt sick just thinking about what it could be and how much of an issue it would pose, but underneath all that was still the doubt and disbelief that this would occur. After all, I'd need to marry him first.

I lowered my head, but he wasn't finished. _Lastly, she said that she will bring us great joy, as will each of our children, and that all our offspring will be born safe and healthy. You and I as man and wife shall only know happiness, and consequently so too shall our children_ : he said rather gently, and when he extended a hand to grasp my chin I found I was helpless to push him away.

He forced me to look at him, the light dancing in his scarlet eyes. _That is all she disclosed to me, Chizuru_.

I barely felt his hand on my face as I allowed myself time for everything to sink in. I'd heard before from the woman at New Years that we would be happy together but it was just a little too overwhelming to hear it from Hanami as well. Not only that but I'd seen evidence that we would be capable of having a family, and a happy one at that, which was all I'd ever desired. I wanted the life of a wife and mother and now it was irrefutable that Kazama could give it to me.

Eventually he let me go and leaned back against the bench. _Now there is no reason for you to think we are not compatible with one another_ : he brought to my attention unexpectedly, making my muscles stiffen. _And likewise, there is no reason for me to hold back anymore. It's even clearer to me now that there is only one woman I shall take as my wife, and one woman that could ever be deserving of me. And that is you._

He said this without looking at me, but he didn't need to meet my eyes to make my cheeks flame and my heart to flutter in my chest. My breathing came hard and fast and all I could think of was what he would do differently now that he'd just vowed to try as hard as he could to get me to fall for him. If he hadn't really been trying before, then what would he be like if he actually put substantial effort in? It was likely I wouldn't make it to Ezo before he had me wrapped around his finger.

All of a sudden he stood up, pulling me up with him. _We shall head back now, Chizuru. I will take you back to Yui and you may do what you wish with her before I see you again at lunch. Perhaps afterwards we could spend some more time together. Would you find that agreeable?_ : he asked, cocking an eyebrow at how closely my face resembled the colour of a beetroot.

I mentally floundered in panic before nodding automatically, removing my eyes from his angelic face. _Y... yes. Ok_ : I spluttered, becoming even more flustered as he grazed a thumb over my cheeks as if to rub off my blush. _Good. I look forward to it_ : he said with a faint yet all-knowing smirk. He knew exactly why I was so frazzled.

Together we made our way back over to the small gate we'd entered through, passing through it to the stairs. As we descended we fell into a soft, comfortable stillness and I could feel we were both thinking about the same thing; about what we'd just discussed and how promised me that from now on he was going to try his best to woo me. Well, at least that's what I'd inferred when he said he wasn't going to 'hold back' anymore. If for the past 2 and a half months he'd been holding back and I'd _still_ developed feelings for him then in the remaining 2 months I would surely become putty in his hands. I knew Kazama could be exponentially charming when he wanted to be, and I also knew I wouldn't be able to resist him.

When we stepped off the last stair we walked hand in hand back to the estate gates, passing a small group of guards. They bowed to us politely and we acknowledged their gestures before moving past them into the courtyard.

It was only when we'd past the gates did Kazama break the silence. _So, I saw this morning that you have grown more comfortable speaking telepathically to others. You established a mind link with Yui at breakfast_ : he remarked, keeping his body close to mine as we walked.

I struggled to keep a level head when speaking to him but his scent was like a drug. _Yeah... it was nice. She wants us to talk telepathically more often now which will help me improve my telepathic skills. She's also promised to teach me some more about our kin_ : I relayed, allowing Kazama to lead me up to the steps to the door. He pushed it open as he responded with a small smirk. _I'm pleased you're making the most of our time here, but you know you can always ask me any and all questions you have. And you should do so anyway if I'm to be your husband_ : he hummed, his eyes shifting to my face to assess my reaction.

I almost tripped over and landed on my face, but thankfully a blush was the only sign of my embarrassment. _Well sometimes it's just nice to speak to a girl about... things_ : I countered feebly, wishing I could cross my arms but he had one of them preoccupied with holding his hand. He raised a dark blonde eyebrow at my statement, making me regret opening my mouth. _Things, Chizuru? Things like what? You should already know by now that whatever you ask I will answer, no matter what the topic_ : he said, which I knew was the truth, but I didn't want him knowing I was curious about things such as blood sharing, horn touching and coming of age.

I twisted some of my fringe with my fingers, anxiously hoping he wouldn't figure it out. _Just normal things, so you needn't worry about it. She was just going to tell me some more information about onis. General stuff_ : I assured him, wondering if he was secretly envious that Yui had temporarily replaced him as my mentor.

He just nodded like he didn't really believe me. _Ah, I see. In that case there should be no issues with asking me then, right?_ : he pressured arrogantly, and I sighed as he finally managed to wear me down. _I would prefer Yui answer these questions, Kazama-san_ : I insisted, blushing a deeper shade of scarlet as he turned to appraise me suspiciously before we walked up the steps leading upstairs.

Kazama's lip tweaked, betraying his amusement. _So you wish to ask_ ' _those' sorts of questions_ : he predicted as we emerged into the first floor and started to walk towards the staircase leading to our rooms. I didn't know what to say, but he hadn't finished speaking anyway. _If that's so then I won't stand in your way. I'll most likely find out soon enough what you both discussed anyway, but I suppose it's beneficial for you to talk to another woman while you can_ : he said understandingly as we moved off the last stair and into our corridor.

Yui was already there standing by my door, and when she saw me her whole face exploded into joy. Even though Kazama had said it in an irritating way I knew he was right about how it was good to have another woman to talk to. I was lucky to have Yui here with me.

I waved at her as we approached, just as Kazama raised my hand to press his soft lips to it. _I will see you later, kitten. In the meantime enjoy yourself and try not to get into trouble. I would prefer nothing unpleasant happen to you now that I've seen proof you shall someday carry my children._

Before I could spontaneously combust, he released my hand and left me standing near Yui gaping like a goldfish.

Yui of course had no clue what he'd just said to me. 'Hello again, Kazama-sama.' She chirped, bowing to him as he passed. Kazama returned the gesture politely, but his eyes were still drilling into me. 'Good morning, Yui. I trust you will take care of Chizuru until this afternoon?' He bid, gleefully observing the colour of my cheeks.

Yui nodded fervently. 'Of course. No harm will come to her Kazama-sama, so don't worry!' She buzzed, now standing beside me with her hand already enclosing around mine, and he flashed me a rapid smile before nodding. 'I'll leave you both to it then.'

And with that he vanished.

I released a heavy sigh just before Yui's mind slammed against mine, not even giving me enough time to decide whether I was disappointed or relieved that he'd gone.

I winced at the force of her request and lowered my mind barrier to relieve the pressure, and her shrill voice rung immediately throughout my head. _Chizuru-sama! How did it go?:_ She squealed, tugging me over to the door of my room and beckoning for me to open it.

I allowed myself a few seconds to recover from her urgency before I answered _. It went well, I think. We addressed what we needed to_ : I told her as I fetched my room key from my obi and unlocked my door. She practically dragged me inside and shut it behind us. _Oh, really? So what did you both say? Who brought it up first?_

I blushed, trying to remember the answers to her questions through the haziness of my memories. I had been so caught up in the panic of the moment that it had become one big blur.

I swallowed, sitting down on the end of my bed with her. _Umm… Kazama-san brought it up, I believe. He said that he didn't want what we saw last night to make it awkward between us, and he also said that he doesn't want me to avoid him_.

Yui was so entranced by my answer that it took her a while to form a response. _Wooow… I'm glad you guys are back to normal though. It would have been rather unpleasant to travel with someone you couldn't bear to talk to_ : she said, holding the same belief that I had. _So what else did you talk about?_ : she questioned further, eliciting a shy shrug from me. _We spoke about a few things, actually. The Soul Garden and soul binding_ …: I paused to shudder, then resumed. _…and I told him about my middle power, and in turn he told me more about what… what he saw last night too_.

Yui was more absorbed in the current conversation than she had been this morning, clutching my hand with both of hers. _What!? He told you what Hanami-sama said about his vision? And what did he say?:_ she grilled, the look in her eyes telling me she would not let this question go unanswered. I lowered my eyes for the first time since we'd started talking, a faint blush blossoming on my cheeks. _He said she will be our first born, and we will have many more children together. Apparently if we are wed then we will also face a trial or something. Hanami told him that it would test us_.

Yui frowned in confusion, clenching my hand tighter. _A trial, Chizuru-sama? I wonder what it could be_ : she mused, but she didn't seem as concerned as I had about it. Maybe it was just something small, and maybe there was nothing to worry about. Perhaps if hypothetically I did marry him then the trial would be something we could easily overcome.

But still, I was worried.

Suddenly Yui pulled her hand away from me, slapping her hands on her thighs like she'd decided something. 'Alright, let's go fruit picking!' She said elatedly, springing off the end of my bed into a standing position. 'You can tell me all the other things he said on the way, as we have a whole half an hour of walking! I will fetch your cloak from the cupboard.'

I stood up as she appeared in front of my cupboard, beginning to rummage around in my cloaks. I walked over to her just as she pulled out a navy one with a fur trimmed hood, bending down to pluck some boots off the ground that were hiding amongst the bottom of the hanging clothes.

I was eager to go fruit picking, but I still couldn't stop thinking of Kazama. It was a relief to no longer be uneasy around him, and him around me, and I was glad that for the most part we'd returned to normal. However it would take me some time to come to terms with what he'd said about our daughter and the prophecy of our trial. Even the display of his middle power was still messing with my head, as for so many years I'd wished I could see into space but I never thought it would become a reality. I wondered what else his Hoshi clan power allowed him to do, and in fact his clan power as well.

Even as Yui and I left my room I was still fixated on when I would see him again. I found myself hoping that for our last days here in Yamamura we would be able to spend them in each other's company so I could learn even more about who he was, both as a man and as an oni. There remained so much to him that I didn't understand but I was more eager than ever to figure him out.

And as Yui and I made our way to the plantations I found my mind remained back at the estate.

Where I knew he would be.

* * *

 **Ending note**

Thanks for reading, guys!

I have made art for this chapter as well which I'll post on DeviantArt ( **FleurLilas** ) and Instagram ( **fleurlilas_art** ). I drew a picture of **Kazama's premonition marking** with the 3 constellations. Also Ursa Major and Ursa Minor are the technical names for the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper, and you can use their positions to locate Polaris in the night sky :D. Cassiopeia is the name of a vain queen in Greek mythology who possessed rare beauty (pronounced as cass/ee/oh/pee/ah) and her constellation is located relatively close to Ursa Major and Minor. All the constellation stuff is real by the way, I didn't make it up :D


	37. Snowflakes

**My deepest and most sincere apologies for the past 3 weeks of non-existent updating :o I actually went on holiday so I had 0% time for any writing, but I'm back now (albeit starting university AND a new job).**

 **Ok, as I'm now getting MANY reviews per chapter I've decided I'm going to respond to those who ask questions or ones I find particularly touching, but by no means does that mean I don't appreciate your reviews! If only you could all see the happy dances I do every time I get the email saying another review has been posted!**

 **Really, I appreciate all your support so much and please continue to tell me what you think!**

 **Cassiel:** MERCIIIIII :D Je suis trop contente que tu adores ma fiction et que tu penses que jai ecris bien leurs personages! Jepsere que (comme t'as dit) tu continues de le lire quand tu as assez de temps, et je suis ravie que tu es si gentille en ecrivant tes reviews. En plus je suis super desolee de n'avoir pas poste un chapitre pendant quelques semaines mais VOILA! Cet nouveau chapite est un cadeau pour toi. Merci encore!

 **A huge thank you to Evy22, sumiko808, Kawaiibentou, Nafeesa, and all the guests who have reviewed the past chapter, and I present to all of you the newest one!**

 **Please enjoy xxxxxx**

* * *

 **Snowflakes**

 _Four days later..._

I smiled to myself as I turned the page, finishing yet another poem.

It was currently night-time and everyone had retired for the night, leaving me to read by the fire as I wasn't yet tired. I'd managed to get more than halfway through the poetry book in the last few days and had spent the rest of my time with Kazama or going for walks around the village with Yui. The past week here had gone so quickly and it was hard to believe that tomorrow morning we would be resuming our journey. I'd often thought to myself that if I hadn't been on my way to find the Shinsengumi I would have stayed for at least another week but with the war drawing to a close up north we had no choice but to move on.

Since the festival, things between Kazama and I had gotten much less awkward. I was still trying to come to terms with what I'd learned on that night such as my middle power and the knowledge we would someday have a daughter, but naturally I expected it would take some time to process anyway. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I could ever come to like Kazama of all people this much, and now that I'd seen with my own eyes what kind of future I would have by his side I realised it was the very future than I'd wanted with Hijikata for all these years, the one that I'd longed for ever since I was young.

But what would I do once I reached Ezo? Even if I did choose Kazama could I really leave with him then and there, and abandon the Shinsengumi possibly only days after being reunited with them?

Sighing, I was just about to stand up when I heard a knock on the door.

'Chizuru-sama!' Yui called, enthusiastically knocking again like she feared I couldn't hear her. 'May I enter?'

All my muscles relaxed at knowing it wasn't the very man I'd just been thinking about. 'Of course. Come in.' I replied, placing the poetry book back on the shelf and smiling even though she hadn't yet entered my room.

She practically kicked the door open, already beaming, and I noticed she had two deep blue yukatas draped over one arm and a big basket in the other. She was dressed in a cream kimono and had her hair done in a long plait down her back; one of her most common hairstyles.

She pushed the door closed and spun around to face me again, jiggling the basket she was holding. 'I was wondering if you would like to do some sewing? I'm sorry about coming in so late but I promised you at the festival that I'd let you practice so I've brought all my best threads and a yukata for us both to decorate. I assumed you would need something other than your western clothes to wear on your journey so you can take the yukata you embroider with you tomorrow.' She explained, not waiting for a response before she dumped the equipment on the floor in front of my fireplace.

I was only too happy to be given something to do until I was ready to sleep so I accepted her proposition. 'I would like that.' I said, smiling as she straightened herself to behold me with satisfaction.

She gestured for me to take a seat on the floor, separating the yukatas from one another. 'I brought all the coloured thread I own so you can embroider whatever you want. I sense you have done this before, but am I correct?' She asked as she opened her basket to pull out the needles, and I nodded. 'You are. I used to make haoris for my adoptive father.' I admitted humbly, lowering my eyes as hers met mine curiously. She seemed impressed but not surprised as most Japanese women my age had had least attempted needlework.

Yui passed me one of the dark blue yukatas. 'In that case, you probably know more about this than I do.' She predicted, placing the basket between us so I could view the colours of the thread. There were all different shades of blues, greens, reds and purples, in addition to soft yellows and oranges. She really had brought with her all the colours of the rainbow and even some assortments of silver and gold.

But there was a particular colour that caught my eye.

I pointed to the milky grey thread dotted with tiny speckles of silver. 'What's that one?' I asked, remarking how it seemed to be somewhat translucent. Yui clasped her hands together as if she just remembered something important and then she picked it up energetically. 'This is the spider thread I mentioned at the festival. It is harvested from the silk spider farm here in Yamamura. It takes a really long time to produce which is why we treasure it but I brought it along because I wanted you to use it. And guess what? It glows in the dark!' She exclaimed, handing it to me.

It wasn't sticky like I Imagined it to be but soft and smooth, and I couldn't deny I was captivated. Could this really glow in the dark? The thread seemed too thin to be visible when sewed onto cloth but if she was going to let me use it then I wouldn't turn her down. I couldn't wait to see if it really did glow.

I gave her back the thread so I could prepare everything else. 'Have you sewn anything with it before?' I asked, selecting one of the thinnest needles and spreading out my yukata so I could plan what I was going to sew.

Yui gave an emphatic nod as she rummaged through the thread in search of a particular colour. 'Oh yes, many things.' She said, pulling out a roll of light blue string and starting to unravel it. 'In my wardrobe I have an entire kimono that I embroidered with spider thread, covered from top to bottom with little sparrows. It's breathtaking when worn at night.' She exclaimed, pausing for a while as if to reflect on it. It really did sound beautiful, and if I had enough time I would have begged her for more spider silk so I could cover this yukata in embroidery too, but given my departure would occur at dawn tomorrow I knew I'd only have time to sew a few small things.

But what would I stitch?

I didn't want to sew anything common like flowers or blossoms but I'd never tried anything too intricate before either as Kodo had liked his haoris with minimal decoration. Often I'd either left them plain or with simple patterns around the hem, such as small snowflakes.

Maybe I could sew snowflakes on this yukata too?

Smiling to myself upon coming to a decision, I had only just started to arrange the yukata when Yui spoke again. 'So, Chizuru-sama…' She begun cagily, flashing me a sheepish smile.

My own smile instantly vanished at the waywardness of her tone, but she continued before I could start predicting what she was going to say. 'I've noticed that you and Kazama-sama seem to be relatively relaxed around each other once again. You've even resumed bickering at breakfast.' She noted innocently, but the way one of her eyebrows was raised suggested she wanted me to build on her observation.

Unwilling to indulge her wish, I offered a generic response. 'I guess so.' I murmured.

Yui's smile grew a little too smirk-like for my liking and she began to flatten out her yukata so she could begin embroidery. 'You really are quite fortunate, Chizuru-sama, as Kazama-sama seems quite intent on courting you. Many oni women would die to be in your place and I'm sure many human women would as well.' She said casually, her eyes darting towards my face to gauge my reaction to her flustering comment.

I grit my teeth, the heat radiating off my cheeks. I'd already gathered that he was considered desirable judging by the looks he got from women in the street, and I'd once prided myself on how I was different because I was able to resist his charm.

But now I was just as entranced as the rest of them.

I shrugged, hoping that I could mask how I really felt. 'I suppose he _is_ quite forward with his advances.' I said, not knowing what else to say.

I didn't even need to look at Yui to know she wasn't satisfied with my response.

She turned her whole body to me, discarding her sewing to address me wholly. 'I must admit I am curious, Chizuru-sama, about this other man. May I be so bold as to ask what it is about him that attracted you? It is quite strange that you'd prefer a human over another oni.' She said all of a sudden, as if she'd been dying to bring this subject up with me.

Her question had been quite direct, but I'd known it would come up at some point anyway. As soon as I'd told her a few days ago that I was in love with a human I'd known that I'd be expected to justify how that was possible, as for Yui it must have been the craziest thing in the world to hear that I'd fallen for a human and even crazier still that I was rejecting the advances of a pureblood clan leader.

I swallowed, my clumsy fingers struggling to loop the spider thread through the needle hole. 'Well… I'm attracted to a range of things I've seen in him.' I mumbled coyly, keeping my eyes downwards. 'Hijikata-san has always been determined to do anything he can for other people's sakes, even my own, and he's always protected me too. He's a very loyal and caring man even though he puts up a stoic façade.' I explained, eventually inserting the needle into the thread and beginning the first part of the pattern. I'd done this so many times so I was relying almost purely on muscle memory, but the conversation topic was making it more difficult than usual to concentrate.

Yui's curiosity only grew with my answer. 'So what about Kazama-sama then? You told me the other day that you… you know, _like him_.' She mouthed the last two words, pausing to giggle at my blush before she carried on. 'So what is it about him that attracted you? After all, even though you say you're in love with this human you still fostered feelings for Kazama-sama too. That must mean you've seen good traits in him.' She finished. She was so engrossed in the discussion that she hadn't yet resumed her embroidery.

I, on the other hand, was sewing away furiously in order to divert my attention away from how personal these questions were. I wasn't angry or upset that she was asking them, more so just… embarrassed, and it didn't help that her latest question was the most challenging of all. Kazama was complex and intricate and therefore the reasons why I liked him were complex and intricate as well. It wasn't as easy as it was with Hijikata to point out the qualities that I appreciated in him especially because part of me remained convinced that my feelings were irrational anyway.

So… what did I like about Kazama exactly?

I drew in a deep breath, not knowing how I was going to explain it. 'Uh… Kazama-san is very… _consistent_.' I said slowly, sensing Yui's frown. I had even confusedmyself so I felt obliged to continue in order to clarify it for the both of us. 'I know that no matter what happens he will always stay true to who he is. He's honest and trustworthy, and caring too… in his own unique way. Sometimes he's a little arrogant but strangely I've come to find it somewhat endearing.' I confessed, shutting my lips tightly before I let any other humiliating and affectionate statements fall from my lips. I was so mortified by having to disclose such personal things and I feared Yui was only getting started with her interrogation.

Thankfully, she seemed rapt with my response. 'Oh, Chizuru-sama.' She sighed, clasping her hands together as she often did when excited or in awe. 'It's so lovely that you trust him now, as it must have been hard in the beginning given your past. You must be thankful for having gone on this journey with him, right? If you hadn't then… who knows what would have happened between the both of you.' She gasped, as if the thought frightened her.

It frightened me too, actually, even though this wasn't the first time I'd pondered what would have happened between us had we not travelled together. I may have been scared of him for the rest of my life and I would never have come to know him as the man he was now, and therefore it went without saying that I wouldn't have developed feelings for him. I would have spent the rest of my life believing he was callous and cold when in actuality he was the opposite.

I nodded, my eyes glued to my work but my thoughts remaining elsewhere. 'I _am_ glad we went on this journey together. He's taught me so much about myself and my culture, and even brought me here to an oni village. For that I'm grateful to him.' I acknowledged timidly, smiling subconsciously as I revelled in knowing I'd met Yui because of Kazama too.

She seemed to recognise this as well. 'It was indeed rather thoughtful of him to bring you here and teach you more about your powers. It would have been such a shame if you had have been unable to use your abilities for any longer than you had already. Had you ever tried to use them before leaving for Ezo?'

I shook my head, glad we had stopped focusing on Kazama because the heat in my face was beginning to hurt. 'No, I'd never tried. I could have started to learn a bit more about our species if I'd asked Osen-chan but quite frankly learning about my powers would have been too overwhelming, or at least up until the last year where I started to accept who I was. It took a really long time to come to terms with the fact I wasn't human.' I said, recalling how I'd felt upon learning that I was an oni. Never had any realisation made me feel so shocked, not even when I'd been told Kodo wasn't my real father. Of course learning that he hadn't even been related to me was heartbreaking but finding out that I wasn't even a _human being_?

I'd spent months trying to comprehend what I was, trying to reassemble my identity.

Yui retracted her hand to finally commence her own needlework, her fingers working nimbly as they pushing the needle through the fabric of her practice yukata. 'So it was Kazama-sama who taught you everything you know, then. What has he trained you to do so far?' She inquired, brows knitted in concentration.

I was thankful that her focus was now divided between myself and her stitching, so I answered with relative ease. 'He's shown me how to change forms, activate senses and communicate telepathically. He's also explained things like our origin, the 9 clans, the power hierarchy and stuff… and a bit of things about blood sharing and horn touching, but not much.' I said regrettably, pouting as I completed the centre of the first snowflake.

Looking over at Yui's yukata I noticed she'd already embroidered almost a whole leaf, but I didn't have too much time to appreciate her sewing efficiency before she replied. 'Oh, well that's good that he's explained the basics. And it reminds me about how I told you that you could ask me anything thing you wanted about onis too. So now that we're alone, was there anything specific you wanted to know?' She buzzed, pausing to peer at me hopefully.

I could see she desperately wanted me to ask her something and I was more than willing to humour her. I had so many questions that I knew I could never bring myself to ask Kazama, questions relating to oni marriages, pregnancy and blood sharing, among other things. If I ever posed those questions to him then he would find a way to explain each and every one of those in a way that related to him and I.

And I did _not_ want to go through that.

I pushed some hair behind my ear, hoping she wouldn't find my questions too odd. 'Umm… well, there's a few things actually.' I divulged, unsure what I would ask first but deciding I would just carry on from the conversation we'd had the other day. 'I would like to find out a bit more about blood sharing, first of all, since apparently that's related to my middle power.' I mumbled self-consciously, reflecting once more on how I would need to drink blood to gain the powers of other onis. It still sickened me to be honest but hopefully Yui's explanation would change my opinion.

Absorbed entirely in the discussion, she turned her body to me once again. 'Do you have a particular question or do you just want me to give an overview?' She clarified, blue eyes twinkling with eagerness. I blushed, shrugging as I kept my eyes fixed on the yukata. 'An overview is probably best.' I suggested, watching her out of the corner of my eye as she smiled.

She returned her gaze back to her sewing, stitching with ease as she began to explain. 'Very well. In that case I'll start with what it signifies.' She declared, chewing on her bottom lip. 'As I told you a few days ago, blood sharing occurs for bonding and for healing. Onis are capable of pushing their energy into their blood and using it as a way to sustain another oni if they are weak or sick, and at some stage Kazama-sama will probably teach you how to do this as well. However, this type of blood exchange is not done through biting. Instead blood is often drunk from a wound or poured into a cup or something similar, as the actual act of biting is linked to courting.' She explained, chatting away as she officially finished the first leaf on her yukata.

Tying off the string, she continued. 'Drinking blood through biting is done largely for physical pleasure, unlike horn touching which is a kind of emotional stimulation. I mentioned the first time we talked about this that someone who is bitten feels their partner's presence inside them until the bite mark heals, and this tends to produce very vivid dreams. As oni blood has a pleasant taste it is also common to feel bloodlust afterwards in addition to a whole variety of other symptoms which range from person to person, such as dizziness, drowsiness and withdrawals. There can also only be one person's bite marks upon the skin at any given time so if you already have a mark and are bitten by another then the original one heals.'

I was enthralled by her explanation even though I was marginally embarrassed to learn it had such a strong link to physical gratification. Was it really true that I would possess Kazama's power given that I would have to drink his blood? How could I ever bring myself to do that knowing what the action meant?

I nodded slowly, the pinkness of my cheeks giving away what I was thinking about. 'Oh. So… does it hurt? To be bitten?' I murmured, having trouble grasping the concept that a pair of fangs in my skin would feel good.

Yui just laughed and shook her head. 'Of course not. I don't blame you for thinking that because normally such a thing would be painful, but I assure you it doesn't hurt in the slightest. It actually leaves you quite elated for a period of time and almost like you're drunk. That's what happened when I did it anyway.' She shared, giggling at my innocence on the subject.

I was still sceptical that it could ever feel nice but I decided just to take her word for it. 'I see. So what if you accidentally drink too much of the other person's blood that it… kills them?' I asked weakly, finding the thought too horrible to dwell on.

Laughing again, she tied off the string on her second leaf and smoothed out the yukata to admire what she'd sewn so far. 'Your body knows when it's had enough blood just like it knows when you've had enough food or sleep. It's impossible to accidentally kill your partner so don't worry about that.' She trilled, amused by my fear.

I was comforted by her reassurance but I still remained curious on how it felt. I supposed if the time ever came where I had to share my blood then I would find out, but for now I was content with not letting _anyone_ sink their teeth into my flesh.

Kazama included.

I smiled at her gratefully. 'That makes more sense. Thank you.' I said, averting my eyes again to focus on my embroidery. I had almost finished the first snowflake, a large one at the bottom on my yukata and I was planning on sewing as many snowflakes as I could before our needlework session came to an end. Not only was it nice practising something I hadn't done for a long time but it was giving me the opportunity to speak with another girl, as I'd been surrounded by men for the past, well, four years.

Yui inclined her head, acknowledging my gratitude. 'You're welcome, Chizuru-sama. Was there anything else you wanted to know?' She asked with a polite smile, the light from the fire glittering in her eyes.

She appeared even more delighted for my questions than I'd thought possible so I was only too happy to give her what she wanted. 'I was also curious about how oni marriages work and the traditions centered around courting.' I said quietly as if Kazama would hear me. If he ever found out I'd asked such questions he would be bound to think I was interested because of him.

Yui's expression shifted from enthusiastic to smug, and I wondered if she thought my inquisitiveness stemmed from Kazama too. 'I'm surprised Kazama-sama hasn't explained this given how determined he is to court you.' She noted, simpering cheekily as I went red.

Before I could splutter out an awkward response, she cut me off with a mischievous grin. 'The process of courting is similar to humans, actually. It's a period of time where both partners date in order to get to know each other better. During courtship both people may choose to engage in blood sharing and horn touching, but premarital sex is usually discouraged particularly for those with status as illegitimate children can create issues.' She explained coolly, eyes fixed on her sewing. 'In a relationship it is usually the male who proposes to the female unless their marriage has been arranged. Each of the 9 clans has a token of engagement that is quite similar to how humans use wedding rings, and for the Yume clan our marriage tokens are bridal daggers. Weddings are usually arranged within a month or two once the couple are engaged and for marriages between high born onis all clan leaders and their families are invited.' She said, looking at me to discern whether or not I'd understood everything.

I frowned pensively, enthralled by everything I'd been told. 'So what happens during the ceremony? What's the process?' I asked.

Yui seemed to enter a period of deep thought, pressing her finger to her lips. 'Well, they are quite different to human ceremonies. Oni weddings are not held in shrines but inside a main hall or out in the open depending on the clan and the couple. The women wear elaborate dresses much like the one you wore at the festival and the men wear traditional clothing covered by a long cloak. During the ceremony the couple recite their marital promises, the equivalent of marriage vows, and if the wedding is between two clans then the blood sharing ritual occurs afterwards. The person marrying into the clan must drink the blood of their partner and this means they will only be able to produce heirs with the main clan's power. It's all very confounding but it's something you will have to do should you decide to marry Kazama-sama.' She said puckishly, her lips curved in a pert smile.

I bashfully looked away from her, embarrassed at her directness but grateful that she was being honest too. The whole blood sharing ritual was indeed very confusing but thankfully Kazama had already explained that to me on the night I'd guessed his clan power.

And now that I understood it I wanted to get as far away from the topic as possible.

I cleared my throat, trying hard to conceal my mortification. 'Uh… Kazama-san told me a bit about the blood sharing ritual already so I understand it, I think. But I do have one last question.' I mumbled, believing that asking about oni pregnancies may be the worst subject of all.

Yui's mischievous expression disappeared to make way for a chirpy smile. 'Oh, ok. What's that?' She pressed, finishing yet another leaf and making me feel inadequate. I was only halfway through my second snowflake but I felt better knowing that the sewing efforts were being delayed by the nature of what we were speaking about.

I licked my dry lips, refusing to meet her eyes as I formed my question. 'I was just wondering about… pregnancy. About the duration, and if there are risks, and everything.' I practically whispered.

The question drew a large smile to Yui's face.

I didn't know if she was thinking my question may have originated from something other than innocent interest, but I was relieved when she pester me about it. 'Oh! I'm glad you asked about this, Chizuru-sama, because it's really quite an exciting subject.' She promised, dropping her sewing so she could put all her energy into her explanation. 'Oni pregnancies are really quite remarkable, as the mother can interact with the mind of her child in utero. How incredible is that?' She asked rhetorically, sitting up on her calves.

My eyes widened, my mouth falling slightly agape.

How on earth did that work? I could only imagine how surreal it would be being able to interact with a child that was still in the womb, as generally a mother's first contact with her baby was once they were born. The child wouldn't have been able to form words in its mind in order to communicate so how was an exchange between the baby and the mother even possible?

I blinked a few times in confusion. 'What? Really?' I asked sceptically, putting down my own sewing to concentrate on her reply. Yui appeared pleased that the news had impressed me, and she nodded exuberantly. 'You must already know that onis can communicate telepathically through touch, and technically the mother and child _are_ touching. They can't talk with language obviously but the mother can send images and sensations from the outside world to her baby. As the child grows closer to birth then it can send stuff back too, but much of it is incoherent and nonsensical which you'd expect from an unborn infant. But still, it's amazing.' She said, her words starting to blur together in her excitement.

I didn't blame her for getting so animated either because it truly was incredible.

Before I could attempt a reply she'd already continued to babble on. 'But anyway, to answer your original questions oni pregnancies last for about the same time as human ones. Unfortunately we have low birth rates, high risks of miscarriage and high pre-birth infant death, but your clan were well known for having brilliant reproductive success given your talents in healing. The process of childbirth is the same as with humans meaning that we still go into labour, have contractions and the like so that aspect should be nothing new to you. The only major difference is that we recover from childbirth much quicker than humans and are often back to total normal functioning within a few days.' She assured me, beginning to rummage around in the basket for another thread.

Watching her pull out a dark navy, I recommenced my own sewing. 'Wow.' I said, watching her replace the light blue thread in her needle with the darker blue. I'd never even thought of that before, and it had just been confirmed that there was so much more that I didn't know. What I'd been taught about onis really was just the tip of the iceberg and I was certain there was still so much to our physiology, culture and tradition yet for me to discover.

Yui seemed to read my mind, looking at me compassionately. 'It must have been so hard for you not knowing anything about who you were, right? Not knowing about your own body, or what you could do…. That's why I'm happy that you have this chance to ask me what you want to know. When you first found out you were an oni you must have been so scared and confused.' She assumed, placing her hand on her heart to show she empathised with me. She was right, but even though I may not have grown up knowing about my culture that didn't mean I couldn't learn it, as Kazama would ensure he taught me everything I needed to know eventually. I just needed to be patient.

I appreciated her sympathy, and I answered her question honestly. 'I _was_ scared to be honest, and I remember the moment clearly when I found out. Kazama-san showed me in Ikedaya that I had another form but at that stage I didn't know its significance. I had no clue what he meant when he told me I wasn't who I thought I was.' I disclosed, shuddering at the memory. If Kazama had intended to scare me out of my wits by showing me my oni form in Ikedaya then he had definitely succeeded. In retrospect he really had just been trying to prove to me that I wasn't a human, but I was still convinced he hadn't needed to _show_ me at that particular point in time. I'd had nightmares about it for weeks.

Nightmares about him.

Yui sighed, drowning me in her resonating pity. 'At least it all worked out in the end though. I mean, it may have been difficult to come to terms with at the start but can you imagine if you'd gone any longer without knowing who you really were? It's just inconceivable.' She said emotively, eyes widening. I agreed with her of course and it wasn't the first time I'd thought about this possibility. 'Yeah… I suppose. I think Osen-chan would have told me eventually, but I may have had to wait a while depending on what she thought was best for me. But what's done is done, and what matters most is that I know who I am now. And I'm really grateful that you've given me the opportunity to ask the questions that have been eating away at me.' I said graciously.

Yui seemed overjoyed at my thanks, and she reached out to pat my knee. 'You're most welcome, Chizuru-sama. And I must say, considering you've only started to practice your abilities a few months ago you're doing pretty well to learn all that you have. Often onis who are trained as adults find it difficult to do even the basics, but by the sounds of it your powers come rather naturally to you.' She praised, echoing the words that Kazama often told me.

I blushed, humbly lowering my eyes. 'Thanks Yui-san. It helps too that I really like practising my powers. Even now it's still so surreal.' I said, reflecting on how far I'd come since I'd left Kyoto. Back then I was always relying on others to help me even though I wanted nothing more than to be able to protect myself and those I loved, but with Kazama's help I was more able now than I'd ever been. I was learning swordsmanship and could now use some of my oni powers with relative ease, such as telepathy and changing forms, and although I had a long way to go I was still so proud of myself.

I could only get more competent from here on.

After I'd spoken, Yui's eyes brightened as if she'd just thought of something. 'Oh, speaking of powers, have you ever used your clan power? That would be more difficult than your lesser powers, I presume, because Kazama-sama wouldn't be able to coach you.' She highlighted, picking up her sewing as I did. We both started from where we'd left off and as I slid the needle through the fabric I answered her. 'I have used it a few times now, actually. I healed a shoulder wound I got when we first began the journey, and again when Yuki my horse was injured as well. The last time I used it was to save a…'

I paused before I said the last word.

 _Human_.

Part of me was still cautious about broadcasting the fact I'd used my powers to save a human given how Kazama had reacted. I could almost guarantee that Yui would be nowhere near as outraged as he had been but I didn't want to risk her disproval. However, I knew I couldn't lie to her and it was possible she would find out what really happened some way or another.

Yui cocked her head to one side, inciting me to finish. 'Save a what, Chizuru-sama?' She asked intently.

I swallowed, struggling to meet her eyes. 'A human woman. I healed her after she'd been stabbed during an attack on their village and she was with her daughter so…' I paused to sigh, the memory of Kazama's incensed eyes coming to the forefront of my mind. '…she saw the whole thing.'

Yui didn't even try to hide her surprise, her mouth falling open and her sewing falling limply into her lap. 'The human child saw you use your powers?' She gasped, gazing at me like I was a ghost. I was forced to nod, albeit guiltily. 'Yeah… she saw everything. Kazama-san was so angry afterwards and I was angry too that he didn't seem to care about the woman so we ended up having a massive fight. I don't regret my decision as the woman would have died otherwise but it got pretty heated.' I admitted, pushing aside the scenes of his rage. If I had have been less furious myself then I would have cowered in fear as Kazama could be terrifying when he was mad.

Yui appeared entranced by my story. 'Whoa, that's crazy.' She exclaimed, shaking her head as if she was watching a replay of the memory inside her head. 'That could have proved quite disastrous though so I understand why Kazama-sama would react so severely, but I know someone as sensitive as you wouldn't have let someone die even if they were human. If Kazama-sama wishes to marry you then he must understand that there will always be a soft spot in your heart for humans.' She said matter-of-factly.

She was right in theory, but the same went for me as well. Maybe I would have to understand that there would never be a soft spot in _his_ heart for humans, although I could definitely try to lessen his unbridled hatred towards them.

Completing yet another snowflake, I eagerly began a new one. 'Anyway… what about you, Yui-san? Do you know how to use all of your powers?' I asked, not really knowing what they were but hoping she would elaborate.

She gave an unsure rise and fall of the shoulders, squinting at her embroidery. 'I know how to interpret premonition markings pretty well but I still require practice in some other areas. My foresight skills lay predominantly in reading, meaning I can see the history of objects and physical belongings, but unfortunately I can't control my power like Hanami-sama so I never know what I will see when I touch something.' She revealed, pushing her long plait back over her shoulder so it rested along her spine.

Her ability was thrilling to me, and I pressed her for more details. 'So you can read any object? Any at all?' I clarified, peering briefly down at the bracelet on my wrist.

Yui answered my question with an affirmative tilt of the head. 'Yes, any item. In the past I've read clothing, jewellery, letters, furniture and even things like hair and nails to see who they belonged too. It's all very interesting but I have no control over what I see so it's never guaranteed that my visions will be useful.'

For the second time I looked down at my bracelet, watching the sun charm glint in the light of the fire.

I knew exactly what I was thinking about doing. I knew exactly what my mind was trying to suggest to me.

But I didn't know if I was ready for the answer.

Acknowledging Yui's reply with a smile, I looked away from the piece of jewellery at my wrist. 'So do you get many people asking for you to read their objects?' I asked curiously, wondering if her services were employed on a regular basis. She narrowed her eyes a little in thought, pursing her lips. 'Mostly from other oni clans as sometimes there are people who wish to track down loved ones or whatnot. When I get older I will be able to use my powers more specifically but at the moment I'm still considered as an apprentice reader, although Hanami-sama predicts I will be unmatched in my ability to read premonition markings. Apparently that is my calling.' She said proudly, looking up at the ceiling as if thanking the heavens for her gifts.

I was even more impressed than I had been before, but still there was a nagging voice in my head that told me to ask her about my bracelet. I'd always told myself that if I ever got the opportunity to find out who'd given it to me then I would take it, so why was I being so hesitant now? In fact it wasn't even guaranteed that I would find out who the man was as Yui herself had just said she couldn't control what vision accompanied the item.

But what if I _did_ find out?

Would he be dead or alive, and would I ever be able to see him again? And if he was alive then why hadn't he come to see me as he must have known by now I had survived?

I just had so many questions. Too many questions to leave unanswered.

Yui was regarding me with perplexity, her forehead creased. 'Are you ok, Chizuru-sama? You look ill.' She stated, her voice soft with concern. I felt bad for having worried her so I lifted my head and attempted to push aside the panic welling up inside me. 'Oh no, I'm fine. I'm just thinking about your abilities that's all. They're amazing.' I said earnestly, meaning what I said but unable to calm my pounding heart. My bracelet felt like it weighed a tonne now, heavy with the undiscovered truth and the burden of so many years of not knowing what it signified.

Finding my answer unfulfilling, Yui frowned deeper. 'Don't be shy, Chizuru-sama. If you wish to say something then you can. I won't judge you.' She said, and I knew her promise was genuine.

However, it wasn't something I wanted to say but something I wanted to ask.

I finally gave in, shifting my whole body to face her just as she'd done to me. 'Actually there is something.' I blurted out, unsure of where I would go next but continuing anyway. 'I actually… well, I want to know if… you'd be willing to read something of mine. I've been wondering about its origin for over a decade now.' I said, finding myself breathless with panic.

What had I done? What if I couldn't handle the answer?

But I couldn't go back now.

Yui's whole face lit up, smoothing out her frown lines and making her eyes twinkle with added energy. She appeared so overjoyed with my request that she could barely contain herself and she pressed her hands to her cheeks as if to calm herself down.

She sat back up on her calves, although she looked like she was ready to spring up any moment. 'Really? You would allow me to do such a thing? Oh, I would be so honoured to do this for you, Chizuru-sama! What is the item? Where did you get it? Quick, go and fetch it!' She blabbered, practically fanning herself with overzealous enthusiasm.

My anxiety momentarily abated in reaction to her jubilance, but it returned hastily as I realised the gravity of what was about to occur.

I drew in a shaky and slow breath, lifting up my wrist to show her the bracelet clipped upon it. 'It's this bracelet.' I said, making a move to take it off so I could hand it to her. 'A man gave it to me when I was still in the Yukimura village but I can't remember who he was or why he gave it to me. All I know is that he was important and that I cared for him.' I disclosed, feeling awkward as Yui gratefully took it from me. In her hand she was holding the last fragment of my past, the only tangible item that kept me connected to my village and my clan.

She pressed it to her chest as if it was as important to her as it was to me. 'I would be more than happy to read this for you. I will do my best but I can't promise it will be anything helpful or if you will find out who this man was, but I will tell you everything I see. I will just need a moment.' She said calmly, lowering the bracelet from her breast to rest in both hands in her lap.

As she closed her eyes, I was seriously considering whether or not I should have done this without taking a little longer to reflect on it. There was a chance that once I uncovered the truth then my blissful ignorance would be shattered forever, but I was sceptical that I would remember him even if I did uncover a name. I didn't exactly know many onis.

Yui's thumb absentmindedly brushed back and forth over the sun charm, her face completely unreadable. I could see her eyes flickering behind her lids so I didn't know if she was seeing anything yet or if she was still trying to meditate, but otherwise she was completely motionless from head to toe and gave no impression that she was even picking up on anything.

Strangely the possibility made me uneasy. What if because my memories were broken then she wouldn't be able to see anything? It was unlikely but in my muddled, scrambled head so many incoherent and unlikely thoughts were occurring to me. I feared that she wouldn't find anything and that I'd be trapped in this endless limbo for the rest of my life.

Suddenly, Yui opened her eyes.

I froze, waiting for her to speak or something but she didn't; at least not straight away. I realised then that she was still coming out of her trance so I let her return to herself before I expected her to say something, but the wait was not a pleasant one. I was both impatient and fearful at the same time, dreading the words that were to come next.

Not too long after she'd opened her eyes did she blink rapidly a few times, shifting in place almost uneasily.

'Uh...' Was all she said.

I was so confused and puzzled by her vocalisation that I didn't reach out to take my bracelet from her.

 _Uh?_ What did that even mean?

Becoming even more impatient than before, I started to interrogate her. 'What do you mean? What did you see?' I begged, edging closer to her as if it would encourage her to expand on her less than satisfactory conclusion.

Still holding my bracelet in her hand, Yui facial expression became almost pained. 'Well, I do know why and when you received the bracelet, and what purpose it serves. And the man…' She trailed off, unable to look at me. 'I'm sorry, Chizuru-sama. But I can't tell you that.'

My shoulders slumped. It was just as I feared; she didn't find out who he was. I was unbearably disheartened but underneath my displeasure I could feel my curiosity swirling too, as she'd also admitted she'd discovered why I was given it. I supposed I would have to settle for that and thank Yui for at least uncovering a bit of the mystery, as maybe with what I learned I could figure the rest out myself.

I sighed, lifting my eyes to meet her oddly perturbed ones. 'So, you didn't find out who he was, then.' I stated quietly, trying not to let too much of my dissatisfaction show because she probably felt regretful too that she wasn't able to find out his identity.

However, as soon as I spoke, the guilt that overcame her expression was undeniable.

Yui stared down at her hands, placing the bracelet in my lap. 'Well… I _did_ see him but it's… I feel as if it's not my place to tell you, Chizuru-sama.'

I jolted in place, getting up on my knees.

I couldn't believe it! She'd seen him! She'd recognised him too probably given by how unwilling she was to share his identity. I was so relieved and so desperate that I was beginning to shake, but a heavy sense of fear of the unknown was festering inside me too.

When I animatedly bustled forward to take her hands into mine, my embroidery flew off my lap at the force of my movement. Yui jerked with surprise and for a second we just stared into each other's panic-stricken eyes.

I gripped her hands tighter, refusing to let go. 'Yui-san. If you know who he is then _please._ Tell me.' I begged, the sound of my heartbeat drowning out my own voice. I could feel my pulse in my wrists and feel the heat flourishing in my cheeks, and I told myself I wouldn't let go of her until she'd told me the truth..

Yui's guilt grew even more potent. 'I c-can't, Chizuru-sama. It's obviously been kept from you for good reason, surely…. but… but I advise you ask K-Kazama-sama about it. If he believes you're ready to hear it then he will tell you.' She said softly, keeping her eyes downcast.

I recoiled at her choice of words, an injured expression surfacing on my face.

She made it sound like he actually knew the man. Surely not, as for him to hide this from me would be akin to lying, and Kazama _never_ lied.

Riddled with disbelief, I refused to accept it. 'You mean that Kazama-san knows already? But he's asked me many times before if I remember anything about the man and he even asked me himself where I got the bracelet! Why would he request that information if he'd already known who gave it to me?' I asked, coming across as a bit irate but I had every reason to be.

Yui attempted to mollify the situation with a soft smile, but she still couldn't meet my eyes. 'I… I'm sure he will explain everything to you if he believes it's appropriate. I'm not sure why he concealed it from you but please don't be angry with him. He doesn't do such things for no good reason.' She pleaded, noticing that I was beginning to get upset.

I felt my heart break in my chest.

I couldn't understand it. My once resolute trust for him was rapidly coming apart upon learning that he'd deliberately hid something like this for so long, even pretending that he'd been just as confused as me about it. All the questions about the man and the inquiries about my bracelet had all been intended to cover up how he'd already been aware of the truth.

Why would he do this to me?

I eventually released Yui from my hold, remarking that her already pale hands were white due to how hard I'd been clutching them. 'I'll ask him tomorrow then, I suppose.' I said rather dejectedly. I felt so betrayed, so unbelievably betrayed, but I also knew I could feel betrayed tomorrow.

For now I wanted to know the rest of the story.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I prayed my voice wouldn't break when I asked the next question. 'So what did you see about why it was given to me?' I asked, having no idea what to expect now that I'd found out Kazama had been aware of it.

Sensing I was finally calming down, Yui also started to relax but I could still see her considering if I was mentally stable enough to learn the reality. 'Your bracelet is… well, it's an engagement token.' She said slowly, wincing as if she was anticipating that I would have an outburst.

I gawked at her, my sadness waning to make way for untainted astonishment.

A _what_?!

Knowing I would have such a reaction, Yui pacified me by providing more detail. 'This was an arranged marriage originating from a trade your father made so he could lawfully marry your mother, as it was this other man who had originally been intended to be her husband. In exchange for your mother, your father promised to the man his first born daughter, and so you were fated to become his wife once you were 16. At your betrothal ceremony he also received an engagement token and when both worn at the same time they allowed you to feel each other's heartbeats no matter how far away you were.'

I clenched onto the bracelet, which I now knew was a symbol of a promised marriage.

This was ludicrous.

It was utterly inconceivable how I'd been engaged to someone as a child, even before I'd been of marriageable age, and even crazier still was how Yui had said the engagement had been arranged even _before_ my birth. Somewhere out there was possibly the man I'd been intended to be with all along, someone else who would have married me had it not been for my village's massacre.

No wonder Kazama had kept this to himself.

He'd most likely been unwilling to accept I'd been promised to someone else and like a child he'd pretended it had never happened. I couldn't believe his selfishness and possessiveness could run so deep that he'd refuse to disclose this to me even though for this whole journey I'd continuously voiced my desire for the truth. Surely there was a better reason for his secrecy than just his denial about how I was already engaged to another man. I was struggling not to storm into his room and order him to tell me then and there what part of him thought it would be acceptable to deceive me for almost 3 months; no, the past 4 _years_ technically.

This was too much to deal with right now.

Pressing my hand to my head to soothe an approaching headache, a gentle hand come to rest on my knee. 'Are you ok, Chizuru-sama?' Yui asked empathetically, her tone soft. I wasn't sure about the answer to that but I nodded anyway, smiling as much of a smile as I could manage. 'I'm ok.' I concluded, but I knew that tomorrow I would need to confront Kazama about this.

And I wasn't planning on going easy on him. He deserved to know that what he'd done was unacceptable.

Eventually Yui handed me back my yukata than had been sprawled across the ground. 'Do you wish to continue with our embroidery?' She asked sensitively, picking my needle up off the floor too. I really needed to have time to myself to mull over what I'd been told but I also wanted to finish the yukata so I could take it with me tomorrow, so I decided to continue. 'Yeah, just for a bit longer. And then I will go to sleep as I'm leaving early in the morning.' I said, taking the needle off her gratefully and she picked up her own sewing and resumed with a relieved smile. 'Are you looking forward to travelling again?' She asked, endeavouring to keep my mind away from my newfound angst and confusion, in addition to all the other emotions that were reeling inside me and making it difficult for me to think let alone sew.

I answered her even though I was still in a daze. 'I am in a way but it does get difficult after a while. It's pretty tiring being on a horse for so many hours and only stopping to eat and sleep.' I sighed, making myself even more unmotivated to leave tomorrow.

The thoughtfulness in her countenance suggested she empathised me but didn't really know what it felt like, as she probably hadn't left her village before. 'That really does sound tiring, Chizuru-sama. Hato is always exhausted when he comes back from only a few days of scouting so I can only imagine what it must be like being gone for months. It's a shame you have to leave so soon after arriving here especially when you still have weeks to go.' She proclaimed.

Now that she'd brought up my departure tomorrow morning it made me even more disillusioned about leaving. I'd really needed to be around another girl again as the last time I'd been in the company of another woman for this long was in Kyoto when I'd been staying with Sen, and the next time would probably be in Kyoto too when I returned there with the Shinsengumi.

I just wasn't ready to leave, physically or mentally, and even less so knowing I would be travelling with a man who'd defrauded me for the past 2 and a half months.

Tying off the third snowflake, I rested the yukata back down on my thighs. 'I promise that the next time I come here I will stay for longer though, as I've really enjoyed my visit here. I will miss having another girl to speak with.' I professed, giving her an appreciative sidelong glance. She immediately brightened, her visage shifting from discontent to delighted. 'It would be wonderful if you could stay for longer next time. If so then we can do so many more things as a week really isn't enough to experience all we have to offer here. It's so humbling that you like our village, Chizuru-sama. It really is.' She said warmly, reaching over to squeeze my hand.

I squeezed it back with a smile, acknowledging her sentiment, and then we wordlessly assumed a peaceful silence.

Tomorrow would be difficult for more reasons than just my reluctance to leave Yui and Yamamura, though. In such a short time I'd come to love this village and everyone I'd met here, and I would miss even the simple things like Yui's company when I resumed my travel.

But what I'd learned tonight had thrown a new issue.

Kazama.

After all these months I'd thought that we'd established enough of an amicable relationship to be honest with one another. Not only was I furious about his disinclination to tell me that he'd known all along that I'd been betrothed to another man, but I was hurt too. I was upset that he would willingly withhold the information knowing that I'd longed for the truth for so long. He may not have said outright that he didn't know the man and therefore he hadn't actually lied, but in my opinion being deceitful was just as bad.

So why had he kept this from me?

I couldn't think of a reason, but tomorrow I wouldn't rest until I discovered why.

Until I discovered everything.

* * *

 **Ending note**

 **OOOOOH a cliffhanger :D I'm so cruel haha**

 **Thanks for reading x**


	38. Dragon's bride

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* * *

 **Dragon's bride**

When I looked out my window, I could see the very first rays of sunlight gracing the dawn sky.

I'd been woken up a while ago by Yuri to pack all my belongings and to have one last final bath. I'd already rolled up the blue yukata I'd embroidered last night, a collection of snowflakes sewn along the bottom along the hem, and packed it in my bag along with my brush and the other bits and pieces I owned. I was so tired that my eyes kept closing as I'd had little sleep last night due to what Yui had told me about the bracelet, so I was aware this day would be painful due to my crushing fatigue.

And my crushing fatigue wasn't the only reason why today would be painful.

Even after a whole night I couldn't believe what I'd been told about Kazama. Whenever I tried to analyse why he'd kept this from me I just couldn't think of a good enough reason, maybe apart from he'd been jealous, but I'd thought that he would have told me something as serious as this regardless of how he felt. Surely me and my feelings mattered more than his ego.

Sitting down on the end of my bed, I hung my head. And for there to be a man out there that I was actually engaged to… that was a big deal. My affection for this man made sense now that I'd learned he was my betrothed and that was also why I'd been able to muster up the power to resurrect him. If I ever met him again then would we still be expected to marry? I wasn't sure I approved of the idea but the thought of never seeing him again was devastating.

Staring forlornly at the bracelet around my wrist, I didn't notice Yuri had entered until I heard footsteps approaching.

She bowed to me as I turned to her, blushing at the surprise on my face at her silent entry. 'Sorry for entering without permission, Chizuru-sama, but there was no answer to my knock.'

I bit my lip, embarrassed that I hadn't heard her. I'd been much too preoccupied with my situation.

I got up off my bed and smiled even though inside I didn't really feel like smiling. 'Don't worry about it, Yuri-chan. And thank you for preparing my bath earlier.' I said thankfully, folding my hands in front of me as I faced her. She blushed darker at my gratitude and lowered her eyes, and it was then that I realised she had brought a tray of food. 'You're most welcome. By the way I brought you some breakfast too, and once you've finished then we can make our way to the throne room. Have you packed all your belongings?' She asked, looking around and seeing only my saddlebag and the satchel I kept all my stuff in.

I nodded, gesturing to the two bags laying on the floor. 'All done. I don't take much with me when I travel so this is it. I've folded all my dirty kimonos and left them in the bathroom in addition to my towel, and I'm sorry for leaving them here for you to wash but I didn't know where to take them.' I said regretfully, guilty that I was leaving a big mess behind for others to clean up.

Yuri shook her head adamantly, reassuring me that it was ok. 'No, no, Chizuru-sama. Really it's my pleasure. I just hope you have enjoyed your visit as that is the most important thing.' She said, placing my breakfast tray down on the table between the two chairs. I still would have preferred to wash everything myself as I disliked being a burden, but I understood her reasons for being so hospitable. I would have done the same for someone who was staying in my house.

'Thank you for making me feel so welcome, Yuri-chan.' I said, bowing to her. As always the gesture flustered her beyond all belief, and she hastily bowed deeper as if it was a competition. 'Truly it has been my pleasure.' She said, rising from her bow with pink cheeks. 'I will leave you to eat breakfast now, Chizuru-sama, and if you need anything else then let me know.' She bid before appearing back over beside the door.

I nodded, making my way over to the table. 'Thank you, Yuri-chan.' I said.

And with that she slipped out into the corridor and shut the door behind her.

Now that I was alone again, I flopped down into the chair beside the table. I wasn't really hungry but I didn't want to be rude and leave food behind so I apprehensively began to eat, one piece of fruit at a time. Now that I was getting closer and closer to seeing Kazama I was beginning to feel nervous, and angry too, and emotional. I didn't know how I would react next time I saw him but he would know instantly that something wasn't right with me as I had a reputation for being unable to hide my feelings.

But when would I bring this up? There was no denying that it was going to be today but I didn't know when would be the right time, and I didn't want to have _another_ argument in front of Amagiri and Shiranui. I had no clue how Kazama would react to knowing he'd been exposed but the more I thought about what he was going to say the angrier I got. There was nothing he could do to persuade me his secrecy had been justified and he deserved to know that I was so disappointed in him for betraying my trust.

The trust that had taken so long to build between us, that we'd fought so hard to develop.

It was shattering that I'd put my faith in him for so long and yet he'd pitilessly kept such a secret from me. I'd told him that I wanted to see the man again, that I'd cared for him, and not even _then_ had he decided to tell me the truth. Thinking about it like that made me so angry because it proved he'd withheld the information out of spite and greed, and words couldn't describe how horrible that made me feel.

After finishing my breakfast, I pushed the tray into the centre of the table and stood up. I didn't really want to wait around here knowing that at any moment Kazama would walk in to collect me so I decided to be proactive and leave before he came. Yuri had said everyone was going to meet in the throne room to say goodbye so I would head there myself and pray that Kazama wouldn't be the first to show up.

Hauling my bags off the ground and swinging them over my shoulder, I took one last glance at the room before I let myself out.

The corridor was cold. It was also much darker than my room because there were no windows, just a few torches along the walls illuminating my path and sending spooky shadows over the stone. I was conscious of the sound my feet would make on the ground as I didn't want to alert Kazama to the fact I'd left my room, so I tread lightly.

I was back in my western clothes for the journey, which I couldn't decide was a good or bad thing. On one hand I really liked the flexibility that pants and a tunic gave me but it also made me feel like a boy, which is how I'd felt wearing male clothes with the Shinsengumi. Since I'd left Edo almost 5 years ago I'd barely felt like a woman as I'd been required to hide my gender and it had been more difficult than anticipated to pretend I wasn't female. In addition to binding my chest tighter than usual I'd also had to act like a man too, although I'd often been too busy with chores to worry about interacting with other people.

As a simple page, it was only Hijikata and the others who had really spoken to me anyway.

Supressing a sigh, I had only walked halfway down the corridor when I heard the noise I'd been dreading.

The sound of an opening door.

For a second I was so rattled that I didn't want to turn around. It had always been inevitable that I would see Kazama but now that he was possibly behind me I didn't want to talk to him. I just wanted to run as far away as possible.

Suddenly, a gentle voice spoke from behind me. 'Chizuru-sama?' Amagiri said, my name reverberating through the hallway.

I instantly spun around, relieved that it was him instead of a certain blond haired oni. 'Oh, hey Amagiri-san.' I said chirpily, masking how I was quivering with anxiety on the inside. Amagiri didn't exactly have a quiet voice so it was irrefutable that Kazama had heard him say my name even from inside his room, so it was only a matter of time before he emerged to greet me.

Amagiri was holding all of his bags too, also dressed in his western attire. 'Are you well this morning, Chizuru-sama?' He asked, walking over to stand beside me. His blue eyes were fully alert and there were no signs of tiredness on his face, the stark contrast of me, as I looked and felt like death.

I smiled, scratching my head. 'Umm… I'm ok. What about you?' I asked, shifting my bag to the other shoulder to disperse the weight. Amagiri inclined his head, acknowledging my inquiry into his wellbeing. 'I am very well, thank you. I presume you are heading towards the throne room. Do you mind if I accompany you?'

Desperate to get out of the corridor and away from Kazama, I nodded maybe too eagerly. 'Sure. Sounds good.'

Taking the first step before he did, we begun the trek down to the throne room. Amagiri's placid and relaxing prescence was such a welcome change to the strong and obnoxious air that Kazama possessed and at least now that he was here I wouldn't be alone with Kazama when he finally did decide to show up.

Amagiri allowed me to enter first into the next hallway, stepping aside to let me through the narrow opening to the stairs. 'Are you looking forward to resuming our travel?' He asked, falling into place beside me as we continued to walk again. I bit my lip, adjusting my cape so it covered me enough to protect me from the chill in the air. 'In some way. I will miss having a proper bed and being surrounded by other onis but I'm also eager to get to Ezo now that I know the Shinsengumi are alive.' I said.

As soon as those words left my mouth, I sensed Amagiri's alarm.

I forgot that I hadn't told anyone that they were alive.

When I saw his astonished frown, I knew I couldn't let my comment go unexplained. I was bound to have told them what Hanami said at some stage if even just to rub it in Kazama's face that Hijikata was still alive, so they would have found out sooner or later. The real uncertainty was what Amagiri's reaction would be.

I flashed him a tentative look, unsure what to expect. 'Hanami-sama assured me that upon our arrival the Shinsengumi would be unharmed. She promised they would be alive when we got to Ezo even though they weren't going to win the war.' I relayed, and I saw a flicker of something in his face that may have been close to relief. I knew that Amagiri might not have loved humans but I was pretty sure he didn't hate them either, and he, unlike Kazama, was compassionate enough not to draw happiness from the prospect that my companions had died.

Only Kazama would be corrupted enough to find joy in that.

Amagiri allowed me to enter the next staircase first. 'That is good news, Chizuru-sama. You must be very pleased.' He assumed, offering me a small but warm smile. My delight was only escalating the more I thought about their survival and it meant more to me than I thought to have Amagiri share in my joy, if only partly. There was no way that Kazama would ever be caught dead saying that he was glad for my sake that they were uninjured and breathing.

With pink cheeks I peeked up at him, noticing for the thousandth time our vast height difference. 'I am very pleased, thank you Amagiri-san. It's a huge burden to have been relieved of.' I confessed.

He gave a slight nod of agreement, and then we finally stepped down into the throne room.

When I looked around I saw that most of Hanami's family had gathered. Hanami was standing near her uncles and aunties, dressed in a plain white kimono, but the others were clothed in simple attire which suggested after our departure they would be returning to bed. I didn't blame them though as it wasn't much past 6am.

As Amagiri and I entered everyone turned to us, and it was Yui who spoke first.

'Chizuru-chan! Good morning!' She called, her cheery voice resounding throughout the chamber. She was holding a paper bag in her right hand but I didn't have much time to ponder its contents because she appeared directly in front of me, apparently unmindful of everything that had happened last night.

I permitted her to lead me back over to her family, my hand secured in hers. 'Good morning to you too, Yui-san. Did you sleep well?' I inquired politely, the sound of our footsteps mingling together. She nodded jovially and pulled me towards her brother who was currently speaking with their father. 'Oh, yes, it was quite pleasant despite the early rise. Luckily for me I get to return to bed once you depart.' She laughed, good-naturedly highlighting how unfortunate I was to have to stay awake.

Smiling too, I was just about to say something when a warm hand slipped around my own.

My whole body went into overdrive, causing goosebumps to form on my arms and my breath to catch in my throat. I instantly recognised the soothing heat of his skin and the way his fingers thread through mine, possessively and definitively, as if he owned me. There was only one man who could communicate so many things just through touch alone.

Kazama's other hand came up to my face as his fingers tenderly grasped my chin, forcing me to look up at him. 'How are you this morning, dear bride?' He purred, capturing me with his effortless charm. I was so horrified by the weakness that crept into my body from the heat in his eyes that I was dumbstruck for a moment. He'd always had a certain way with me but I would not let him affect me like anymore. He didn't deserve it.

Pushing his hand away with enough force to make him frown, my reply was curt. 'Fine.' I snapped, shoving my hands behind my cape and wrapping it around me as if to shield myself from him. He appeared so nonchalant and utterly unsuspecting of what I'd discovered last night and it only served to infuriate me even more. Looking at his face I saw no remorse or confliction and that made me wonder if he'd intended to hide the truth from me forever.

The notion was enraging.

Kazama paused momentarily as if he was unsure what to do next, and then he sighed heavily. 'Once again I see early mornings do not agree with you, kitten. But I'd be more than willing to let you sleep against me on horseback today, like you've done a few times in the past. It will be nice to have you cling to me again.' He said mirthfully, trying his best to elicit a reaction from me; a blush, a frown, a glare. Anything.

But I wouldn't give it to him.

Before he could try another approach at coercing me into speech, Shiranui appeared at the top of the staircase. He had his bags thrown over one shoulder and an unimpressed scowl on his face, skulking towards us with about as energy as a dead body.

Coming to a lethargic stop before us, he blinked slowly. 'Mornin'.' He muttered.

He wasn't the only one feeling lifeless today.

I was just about to say good morning back when Hanami's indolent voice rung in my ears. 'The time has come for you to part, then.' She sighed, moving away from her family to stand in front of us. 'On behalf of all my people I would like to thank all of you for coming out of your way to grace us with your presence. I wish you a safe journey.' She said, reaching out to take my hands into hers.

Even after a week I still found it hard to stare at her fox mask, but I did it out of respect as she addressed me. 'And Chizuru-sama, I am privileged to have hosted you for the past week here in Yamamura. Hopefully this stay has provided you with the sense of belonging you were searching for, and you are welcome back at any time for however long you desire. Our home is your home.' She declared, motioning around her as if to demonstrate her point.

Humbled by her charity, I accepted her offering with reverence. 'Thank you, Hanami-sama. I would love to return someday.' I said sincerely, as I really had found a sense of belonging here. This essence of community and kinship had been what my heart had always wanted.

Turning then to my companions, she bowed to them. 'And I thank you all as well for visiting us. Be wary on your journey, however, as once you pass the ranges you will be entering into dangerous territory. Even though the war is drawing to a close there remains many hostile scouting parties scattered to the north.' She warned, raising from her bow just as they returned the gesture.

Kazama seemed to take her warning seriously, his expression grave. 'Thank you. We will be indeed be cautious.' He promised.

Then it was the family's turn to say their goodbyes.

I let out a surprised squeak when Hiroki, Hanami's uncle, pulled me into a tight hug. 'It was nice to see you again after all these years, and I'm sure I'll see you once again.' He said, letting me go after he'd succeeded in squeezing the air out of my lungs.

No sooner after he'd released me did I get embraced by his wife, and then Hanami's grandparents. 'We wish you a safe journey, my dear.' Keiko said, briefly cupping my cheek with her hand and smiling at me warmly. I smiled back as Ran pat me on the shoulder, moved by how much these people cared for me. 'Thank you, everyone.' I said, bowing to them collectively.

Then finally, Yui threw herself at me too. 'I'll see you again soon, Chizuru-sama.' She said, wrapping her arms around my neck. I hugged her back and banished the tears from my eyes. I would definitely see her again but even I knew it would not be for a while, given how far apart we lived, but if I really was immortal then I had hundreds of years left to worry about visits. Something told me I'd see her again before then anyway.

Smiling into her hair, I held her just as tightly. 'See you, Yui-san. Thanks for keeping me company.' I said appreciatively as she pulled away. She too appeared distressed but once she clasped my hands into hers I saw sudden panic flood her eyes. 'Oh! I almost forgot!' She gasped, breaking away from me entirely. 'Here, this is for you. I know we didn't get much time for embroidery last night but hopefully with this you can create something amazing.' She said, handing me the paper bag I forgot she'd been holding.

Accepting the bag, I tentively opened it.

Inside were 3 very large rolls of spider thread, enough to cover a kimono inside and out.

I was so indebted by her gift that I could no longer keep the tears at bay, and I wiped them away as they gathered in the corner of my eyes. 'Oh. Thank you, Yui-san.' I whimpered as she hugged me again upon seeing I was emotional. She pat me gently on the back, attempting to soothe me like a mother would. 'It's ok, Chizuru-chan. It's a special gift from me to you.' She announced softly.

After a long time she finally pulled away from me again, and I knew it was time to leave.

Shuffling back over to the door Amagiri pushed it open with little effort. The wind stung me even through my cape, causing a shudder to run down my spine. It was freezing outside as to be expected on a mountain peak, and I could already feel the frostbite forming along my exposed skin.

With the royal family accompanying us to the doorway, we stepped out into the courtyard.

I turned around to give one last wave to Yui through the closing doors. She was already waving furiously with a massive smile on her face, and it occurred to me that this was comparable to when I'd said goodbye to Sen in Kyoto. I felt similar too, sad but excited, and also hopeful knowing that I would see her again.

'Bye Chizuru-sama! Have a safe journey!' She shouted as the guards began to close the doors behind us, savouring the last few moments of my presence.

I smiled at her, continuing to wave. 'I will, Yui-san! Bye!' I called back, burning into my memory the sight of her beaming face and the happy smiles from the rest of her family. I knew I would see them all again but I wasn't sure when, but I hoped that someday I could repay some of the cordiality they'd shown to me.

And just as the words had reached her, the heavy stone doors creaked shut.

None of us spoke for a few seconds. We all stood there looking at the doors that had sealed us out and separated us from our kin, signalling our inevitable entrance to the human world once more. Never did I think I would feel like this when I left Yamamura; disappointed and dismayed, wishing that I could stay here for just a little longer. I _did_ have a special spot in my heart for humans but somewhere even deeper down, in my soul, was a place for my kin.

My family.

Finally Kazama, not being one for sentiment, abruptly spun around to face the courtyard again. 'Let's go. The horses are waiting for us in the Inner Sanctum and if we hurry we can make it a quarter of the way to the next town by nightfall.' He said authoritatively, adopting his usual role as our domineering travel leader.

Preparing to follow his instruction, I was caught by surprise when he reached out to grab my hand.

This was one of our habits now, as was talking telepathically, and I'd come to enjoy the simple sensation of his warmth too. But this time it was different. As always his beautiful garnet eyes liquefied me from the inside out but when I looked into their depths I felt something other than infatuation; I felt hurt, and anger, and confusion.

He didn't even have enough time to request a mental link before I pulled my hand away.

Without a word of explanation I began to walk towards the courtyard gates and to the steps which lead down to the main village. I sensed Kazama's confusion and Amagiri and Shiranui's suspicious glances but I couldn't care less, because until Kazama had explained the reason for his treachery I wouldn't allow him to act so familiar with me.

I wanted answers, and soon he would give them to me.

Following _me_ for once, Kazama strolled behind with his eyes boring into the back of my head. I could sense him scrutinising my body language and my behaviour, scanning through his memories for anything he could have done in the past day to irk me, but as I suspected he found nothing. He'd obviously never planned for me to find this out and the more I thought about it the angrier I got.

Suddenly Kazama appeared beside me, peering down at my face. 'You seem more irritable than usual today, kitten. Are you going to tell me why or do you expect me to guess?' He asked casually, unaware on how close I was to losing it.

I pressed my lips together, despising my pet name even more than usual, but I didn't retaliate. I didn't want him to push my buttons any more than he had because I was already so irate and his pestering would only make it worse. I was inwardly imploring him to leave me alone.

Kazama was evidently bemused by my attitude but wholly unaware as to its reason. 'If the cause of your irritability is our departure then there's no need to be disheartened. Once this journey ends and your pestilent friends are gone then you and I shall return to my village, and there you shall _truly_ belong. So you can stop sulking now, even though I've come to like this vexed pout.' He ordered informally, his fingers darting up to press to my lips as if to smooth them out again.

Normally such an act would set my cheeks on fire, but the only thing ablaze when he touched me was my anger.

It was getting more difficult for me to hold myself together because every time I reminded myself that he'd known all along that I'd been betrothed to another man, I just felt so crushed and upset that the emotions almost blinded me. I wanted to know right now why he'd done this to me. I wanted to know at this very moment what on earth had been going through his mind when he'd decided all those months ago that it was a good idea to deny me of the truth.

But I couldn't ask just yet.

I knew I had to wait until later when it was a more appropriate place and time, and when I wouldn't be with Amagiri and Shiranui. Upon reflection the best time for me to bring up the issue was tonight after dinner when I knew I could speak with him alone. I was nervous about it of course but my piling rage was burning through my anxiety like a wild fire. I normally wasn't one to openly seek conflict but there was no way I could let something like this go unresolved as Kazama had some serious explaining to do, and I wasn't going to go to bed tonight until he'd vindicated his deceit.

So instead of firing up at him, I ignored his taunt and marched down the stairs.

Thankfully Kazama didn't try to talk to me after that. I could tell he was getting frustrated though as I'd never given him the cold shoulder to this extent before no matter what he'd done. For me to act like this he must have assumed it was caused by something a little more serious than my hesitation to leave Yamamura, but still he didn't seem to even consider it was because I'd found out about my bracelet's origin.

He really had intended to keep this a secret from me for as long as possible.

And passing the rest of the morning in tense silence, the dawn came and went.

* * *

As soon as Kazama slowed Yuki down to a walk I removed my hands from around his torso.

The last 4 hours had been torture for more reasons than having to cling to someone I knew had lied to me. I was aching with the pain of horseriding and it seemed even a week without it was too long for my body. Not only that but I was starving too, so I'd welcomed a lunch break without complaint and no one else had challenged Kazama when he'd announced one either.

That was another thing I'd forgotten about travel; it only grew more and more exhausting.

Since this morning the tension in the air was now becoming tangible. I'd never been good at knowing how people felt but even I'd detected the unease radiating from Amagiri and Shiranui as they'd become fully aware there was something not quite right going on between Kazama and I. On any other occasion I'd be embarrassed that my behaviour had created such an uncomfortable atmosphere but today was most definitely an exception, as the closer it got to evening the more furious and heartbroken I became.

No matter how many times I'd tried to banish it from my head I was only growing more despondent. He'd had the ability to tell me everything I'd been yearning to know since I was a child, and yet he'd kept it to himself knowing exactly how much I'd desired that information.

It was nigh on unforgivable.

Finally coming to a stop, we settled at a very small clearing beside a running creek. It was beautiful and cool under the trees and away from the unforgiving summer sun, and our horses were only too eager for a drink as we lead them over to the water's edge and let them have their fill.

And as usual, Kazama was the first to dismount.

I didn't even wait for him to offer to help me down before I'd swung one leg over Yuki's saddle and landed on the grass, speedily snatching out from my bag the fruit I'd packed this morning for lunch. I didn't look at him either as I stalked over to the closest tree and sat down, wallowing in the all-consuming unease that I myself had created, and I could only hope that tonight when I spoke to him about this we could work it out and put it behind us as there was no way any of us could bear this kind of friction any longer.

After fetching his own food and sitting down a few metres from me, the heat of his glare began to warm the side of my face. I could tell he hadn't appreciated the way I'd treated him today but tonight he would know exactly why he'd deserved every moment of my indifference since we'd left Yamamura.

So what would I say to him?

I knew I needed to plan at least some of what I was going to ask tonight so I could get the answers that I wanted. If I attempted to confront him without a mental plan of attack then our conversation would probably end up like the one after I'd saved that woman; out of control, heated, and counterproductive. Even though he deserved to know just how displeased I was I didn't wish for us to fight like we had last time even though all I felt like doing was yelling. And I didn't wish to swear this time either.

Suddenly, I heard a very unpromising noise; Kazama drawing in a breath.

'Chizuru.' He said, sharp and clipped.

I went rigid, keeping my eyes on the food I was eating. There was no way I could speak right now without snapping so I decided it was best to remain silent even though it would anger him, as if I replied snarkily then it would frustrate him even more.

Kazama waited for a minute for me to speak, but when I didn't his expression grew even more agitated. 'If there is something bothering you then by all means, do share. I think we have all suffered through your ill-mood enough.' He encouraged indignantly, never taking his eyes off me. It certainly made it harder for me to keep my cool but still I didn't break. If I spoke now I would yell, or cry, or have a meltdown, because I couldn't wrap my head around the fact Kazama, of all people, had broken my trust.

Getting up off the ground to take my apple core to Yuki, I dusted the dirt off my pants.

But I didn't make it over to her.

Kazama's warm hand encircled around my wrist as soon as I started walking and he turned me around to face him. 'If you're going to act like a child then the least you can do is tell me why. Your behaviour today has been most unappealing and you haven't even made a single effort to justify it.' He barked, refusing to let me go even though I was trying to pull away.

My anger flared as he touched me, and the way he'd assumed I was childish only fuelled my rage. It was insulting that he presumed my behaviour was caused by something trifling and petty instead of what it really was; something that hurt me deeply, that left not only questioning myself but what sort of person _he_ was.

Deep down some of the pain came from knowing even he wasn't as honest as I'd once believed.

Unable to maintain my muteness, I eventually tore my arm from him. 'I don't want to talk about it!' I snapped, the words slipping out before I could stop them. This conversation was very rapidly going to turn into a mistake if I didn't pull myself together and I was feeling even worse due to the way he'd spoken to me. It had been a really long time since Kazama had growled at me like that and it was not what I needed right now given how fragile I already was.

He narrowed his eyes but didn't make an effort to restrain me again. 'And why is that?' Was his short but confounded reply. It was blatantly obvious he really _did_ have no idea why I was so upset, but I still didn't want to talk about it right now as Amagiri and Shiranui were practically huddled under a tree a few metres away as if staying clear of a war zone. I didn't want to drag them into this like I had during the last fight Kazama and I had, but something was telling me it was largely unavoidable now.

There was no way Kazama would let us continue our travel like this.

Biting my lip to stop myself crying, I shook my head. 'I said I don't want to talk about it.' I repeated resentfully, my tone softer in an effort to calm myself down.

Before he could either grab me again or say something, I had stalked off towards Yuki. She had her head raised now as if she too had picked up on the unease between Kazama and I, and I pondered if everything else around us had as well. There was no wind, no chirping birds… even the water running through the creek was almost silent. Nothing dared make any noise.

Wishing I could just disappear, I fed Yuki the apple and stroked her mane as she ate. I didn't want to turn around and face Kazama again particularly because I knew he was still looking in my direction, endlessly examining my body language and considering the best way to approach me. I knew I'd startled him with my tetchiness but I couldn't bring myself to feel overly guilty about it. All I felt was my infinite fury mixed in with pain and disbelief, as I'd trusted him entirely. It had taken all I had in the beginning to convince myself it was ok to have faith in him and yet he'd broken that over something like this.

After a few minutes, I unthread my fingers from Yuki's mane. I didn't want to see him again but the sooner I finished eating the quicker we could leave, so I summoned the willpower to turn around and walk back to my spot under the tree.

But as I turned around, I bumped headfirst into someone's chest.

Kazama was there, standing right in front of me. I prepared myself for a whole range of potential moves he would make now that he was so close; would he grab me, force me to look at him, prevent me from walking away? These were all the things he would have done in the past when he was angry and it went without saying that I hadn't made him this frustrated in a long time.

But he did none of them.

Instead he pulled me close to his chest, enveloping me in his warmth.

'Chizuru.' He said, but this time when he said my name it was tender.

My lips parted with shock, my eyes now burning with tears even though I was trying so hard not to let them spill. For some reason his embrace made it harder for me to keep myself together, as when he was angry I could fight back and use my stubbornness to protect myself, but there was something about the way he held me that caused all my emotional barriers to crumble. He wasn't preventing my escape out of anger or annoyance, for as he lifted one of his hands to press to my hair I realised he was trying to comfort me.

And I couldn't answer. I was frozen against him with my arms hanging limply by my sides, knowing that if I spoke then tears would accompany my words.

When I said nothing, his arms wrapped tightly enough around my body to communicate that he wasn't going to let go. 'If there is something upsetting you then I wish to know what it is. Contrary to what you might think I do care about your wellbeing and if there's something I can do to alleviate your distress then you should know that I will do it.' He assured me, his voice low as if he was afraid the others would hear him say something so compassionate.

The lump in my throat was becoming painful now, and I closed my eyes to seal off the tears. How could he be so attentive to me and yet keep such a secret from my knowledge for so long? I was torn between my heart and my head, one saying that he was trustworthy and the other saying that he wasn't. I knew that there was no going back now though as not only had he figured out something was wrong but I didn't know how much more I could take. I'd wanted to wait until tonight, but it wasn't an option anymore.

It appeared as if fate had intended for me to raise the issue now.

So before I'd even decided what to say, the words had already left my mouth.

'You…' I said weakly, pulling myself out of his arms. 'You lied to me.'

As soon as I'd spoken I saw the surprise on his face. I doubted anything I'd said so far had alarmed him as much as my last sentence, as not even after a few seconds had he cleared the astonishment from his countenance. His mouth was slightly agape, his forehead creased, and even Amagiri and Shiranui's faces were laden with puzzlement.

Once Kazama could speak again, he did so without hesitation. 'Would you mind providing some context for such a bold statement, Chizuru, as to my knowledge I have done no such thing.' He said defensively, his frown only growing deeper as I placed even more distance between us.

My legs were already trembling, struggling to hold me upright even though I hadn't even told him the issue yet. I was petrified of the answers he would give to justify himself and I was afraid to hear the identity of the man when I finally got him to tell me. What would he say when I revealed that I knew about everything? About the engagement, about the man, about how he'd kept it all from me?

It took all I had to keep talking, bringing me one step closer to the truth.

Hugging my cape around myself vulnerably, I couldn't meet his eyes. 'I'm talking about… about… this.' I said, too distraught to look at his face as I held my wrist up to show him the bracelet.

At first all I received in response was silence, but when I saw his newest expression there was no denying that Yui had been telling the truth.

Not in all the years of our acquaintance had I seen Kazama's face turn white.

Incapable of responding to me, I took advantage of his speechlessness to continue. 'Last night Yui told me what the bracelet means, and she also said that you knew all along. About everything. For all these months you knew not only about the significance of the bracelet but the identity of the man as well, and you pretended that you didn't. You even...' I stopped there, lowering my eyes as the tears began to blur my vision. 'You even asked me questions about everything like you didn't know either. I just… I don't understand why you would do that.' I said, voice breaking.

When my tears finally started to fall, I gave him an opportunity to defend himself, or speak, or anything.

But he didn't.

He stood in front of me with his feet plastered to the ground, his eyes hazy and detached.

Growing more and more afflicted as his speechlessness continued, I wiped away my salty tears. 'You know more than anyone how hard it was for me to start trusting you, Kazama-san. It took so long for me to convince myself that I could put my faith in you, so why would you do this? Do you not value my trust, is that it? I'm giving you an opportunity to justify yourself so don't insult me by saying nothing as you've been silent for long enough.' I indicted, venom lacing my tone. Slowly my sadness was morphing into resentment once again.

And it was only after a whole minute did he finally say something.

Reaching out tentatively as if to touch me, his words were genuine. 'Chizuru… I'm sorry.' He said.

Hearing an apology come from someone like Kazama was rare enough to make me pause, but it also told me he knew he'd really screwed up. Kazama only said sorry when there was literally _no_ other way to get out of a situation so instead of calming me down his apology only served to make it worse.

I pressed my lips together, shaking my head in a dismissal of his contrition. 'I don't care if you're sorry. I just want to know why you did it, and I want to hear the truth from you. That's all.' I murmured, using the back of my palm to brush away the last round of tears.

It appeared to make him uncomfortable when I wept, but the way he tensed from head to toe let me know he wouldn't give an explanation willingly. 'Look, Chizuru… I admit it was underhanded of me to withhold this information from you but I did it for good reason. I was planning on telling you everything after the journey so you had time to process everything in your own time, as the stress of travel would have made it harder for you to cope. I was not intending to keep this from you indefinitely.' He said, trying to come across as if he'd had my best interests at heart but I would have sooner believed that I was actually a human.

With his reply being the exact opposite of what I'd been hoping for, every fibre of my being buzzed with frustration. 'It shouldn't be up to you to decide what's too much for me to know and when. It's unbelievable how you can even stand there and give me that excuse knowing that I've had so many things kept from me in the past; even my own species. I can't believe someone who boasts about his honesty would lie to me like this.' I accused, staring into his eyes to let him know exactly how serious I was.

Kazama's lips twisted in reaction to my last sentence, and his response was unbearably insensitive. 'I didn't lie.' Was all he said.

I was appalled by his statement, even moreso because he was right. By definition of the word he hadn't actually ever lied to me because he'd never said he _didn't_ know the truth, but he'd done just about every dishonest thing under the sun. He'd pretended not to know about the man or my bracelet, even asking questions he already knew the answer to and avoiding the ones I asked in return, and there was probably other forms of manipulation I wasn't even aware of yet too.

So yes, he hadn't lied. But what he'd done was just as bad.

I stared at him in disbelief, anger evaporating all of my tears and making me see red. 'Do you even hear yourself? Whether you actually lied or not is unimportant, as the fact remains your actions were deceitful.' I reminded him, dumbfounded. 'So how about you stop making excuses and start telling me what I want to know. And seeing as though I've already been told about the meaning of my bracelet, the only thing I need to know from you now is who on earth gave it to me.' I demanded, holding up my arm to point at the engagement token around my wrist.

Kazama's eyes grew dark then, his expression hardening. Regardless of how furious I was and how upset I got this was something he wasn't planning on surrendering without a fight.

He waited until I'd dropped my hand before he answered, but he still had trouble meeting my eyes. 'I won't tell you, Chizuru. Not when you're like this.' He said resolutely.

I dug my fingers so hard into my palms that my fingernails began to pierce my flesh, utterly enraged by his refusal. After everything he'd done, everything he'd hidden from me, he still remained fixed on guarding this secret. Why did it mean so much to him anyway? Was the man actually one of his enemies, or maybe a family member? Was he doing this out of jealousy or was there another reason?

I was practically frothing at the mouth when I took a threatening step closer to him, attracting his undivided attention. 'You don't get to keep this a secret anymore, and how dare you try to do so. I'm _asking_ you who he is and you're going to _tell_ me.' I said treacherously, eyes flashing, but Kazama held his ground and stared back just as austerely.

'And I said no.' He rumbled, narrowing his eyes at me.

Gritting my teeth, I crossed my arms as my anger consumed me. 'And why not? Does it really injure your pride that much to know I'm actually engaged to someone else? I'm so disappointed in you, honestly. I would have thought a 79 year old was mature enough not to be petty over something like this.' I admitted bitterly, screwing up my face in disgust. I was so hurt to learn that he would rather continue to be vague instead of just being honest as I really hadn't thought he'd stoop to this level, particularly after I'd already exposed his perfidy.

My attack appeared to affront him, but still he held firm. 'It's not about my ego, or my pride. It's about you and your reaction. And I'm telling you that until you calm down I will not disclose anything.'

I recoiled at his determination, a savage glint in my eye. 'You don't want to tell me because you're afraid of my _reaction_? Is that what you're saying? I have a right to know the truth no matter how you think I will take it, and it disgusts me that that you're denying me of that right. ' I challenged incredulously, but no matter how many good points I put forward he would not give in. I could see on his face that I could yell and scream as much as I pleased and his lips would remain sealed.

And as predicted, he gave me nothing.

I was livid. I was so incensed at his refusal to give me a name that my whole body was trembling with contained rage. I knew that if I lost my cool then I wouldn't be able to stop until I'd burnt the whole forest to the ground in sheer fury, so I closed my eyes and focused on pulling myself together. I could feel I was on the brink of snapping and losing control over not only my emotions but my power too, as it was now boiling in my blood in reaction to my ire.

But unfortunately for him, I'd decided a long time ago that I would do anything to discover the truth.

Anything at all.

I drew in a shaky breath, tasting the word as much as I heard it.

'Chikage.' I said, almost breathlessly.

At the mention of his first name, Kazama seemed to almost withdraw into himself. I could see sparks of anger in his eyes too but they didn't originate from my abuse of this power, rather from the helplessness that it had caused. He knew now he couldn't refuse to answer my request because if he did then he would break the promise he'd made to me about granting me anything if I called him by name, and then he really _would_ be a liar.

He'd dug his own grave by promising me such a thing.

After a brief shudder of frustration, a quiet growl in the back of his throat, he eventually tilted his head to face Amagiri and Shiranui. 'Leave us.' He ordered tightly, but his lack of enthusiasm wasn't directed at them but at what he knew he had to answer.

Without further encouragement they both stood up, relieved to be excused from our argument, and disappeared without a second of delay.

There was a slight awkward moment after their departure, but Kazama didn't have enough time to prepare his wits for the upcoming conversation before I focused the full brunt of my displeasure on him. 'Ok. Now spill.' I snapped, crossing my arms. He sent me a testing glare but gestured to the grass at my feet. 'Sit down first.' He muttered, his hands reaching for his head as if to rub his temples but he decided against it at the last moment and sat down himself.

I was a little hesitant to do as he asked, but I sat down anyway and told myself I would get my answer quicker if I cooperated.

When I was seated across from him, he began to pull at the grass. He was terser with his tearing than usual so I took it as nerves although I had no clue why he would be nervous, although I supposed it was likely that he'd be hesitant to tell me the truth after so long of keeping it a secret. But I couldn't care less about his emotions right now.

I clicked my tongue, my whole body stiff with anticipation. 'So?' I spurred.

Kazama finally sighed, heavily and powerlessly. 'Before I tell you, I need to explain something.' He said quietly, eyes secured on the grass he was picking at. 'A few years before your birth I was… engaged to another woman.'

My anger faded away to nothing for a moment, a whole host of emotions rushing through my body.

Kazama had been _engaged_?

In addition to shock and confusion I felt jealous too, and hundreds of questions came to me at the same time. Who was the woman? Why didn't they follow through with the marriage? How long ago did this happen?

And did he… _love_ her?

Kazama didn't wait for me to ask any of those before he carried on. 'On her way to my village for the marriage ceremony she fell gravely ill, and it just so happens your father was in my village already on business and for the wedding. He was the one to heal her when she arrived and so besotted were they with each other that they begged me to release her from the engagement. At first I was not pleased, but if I had have married her anyway then I would have had a wife that loathed me and a friend who despised me. So I let her go. This woman was your mother, Chizuru.'

All the blood drained from my face, leaving me as white as snow.

My… my mother? She'd been engaged to Kazama?

I remembered Sen telling me before I left for Ezo that my father had healed my mother with a blood-covered kiss, stealing her away from the man she'd originally been betrothed to. However she'd failed to mention that this other man was Kazama. If things had have turned out differently I could have been _his_ daughter.

Even though I was confused on how this actually related to my original question, I didn't dare speak. I was too stunned to form any coherent sentences together in my head so speech was definitely off limits for the time being.

Upon seeing I would remain silent, Kazama ran his hands though his hair. 'But in return for calling off our marriage I was promised something even more precious.' He revealed, pulling his fingers away from the grass. I was confused by his statement but still I didn't speak, not even when he reached out to pick up my hand, turning it over so he could see the sun charm properly.

He ran his fingers over my pulse, pressing down firmly so he could feel it beat against his thumb. 'I was promised their first born daughter, Chizuru, to take Masako's place as my wife.'

As those words fell from his lips, time seemed to stop.

 _No_. _He couldn't mean…_

This couldn't be happening.

The realisation hit me like a landslide, crushing the air from my lungs and causing me to exhale like I'd been punched in the stomach.

Kazama saw that I was moments of a heart attack so he held my hand tighter as if to steady me. 'Our engagement ceremony was held shortly after you turned 6. You had actually met me many times prior but you had only been an infant, so you wouldn't have recognised me before the day. I gave you this bracelet during the betrothal ritual and you gave me a snowflake pendant, and when worn at the same time we could feel each other's heartbeats. However, when Kodo found you after the massacre of your village he took the token off you and wiped your memories, as was his middle power, because he believed it was better for you to live your life as a human; at least until he reinstated your clan. It was his twisted way of protecting you, and it also meant I thought you had perished along with your village as my pendant had stopped beating.' He stopped there, placing his other hand on my own, and a mellow look surfaced on his face.

I couldn't even acknowledge that he'd spoken. What he was saying didn't feel real and yet it made so much sense that I couldn't refute it, couldn't console myself by saying maybe this was just a big mistake. All along it had been _him_ I'd yearned to see again and here he was right in front of me, his eyes filled with a kind of mysterious reprieve as if the secret had been a burden to him.

And when I replaced the blurry figure of the man in my mind with Kazama, he fit so perfectly that I didn't know how I hadn't figured it out sooner.

Kazama waited patiently for me to do something, even to cry, scream or run away. But it felt like my body was made of lead. My whole world was falling apart and I didn't know if I would ever recover from what I'd just discovered. Not only had I'd been engaged to him but I'd saved his life. I'd brought _him_ back from the dead and almost killed myself in the process, but I'd been willing to pay that price.

That's how much I'd cared for him. Enough to give my life away, just like that.

After a really long time, he stopped searching my face for clues that I was going to respond. Instead he sat with me silently, my hands still in his and our knees almost touching. I saw him staring at my bracelet and I looked at it too, knowing now that he'd given it to me to solidify his promise to become my husband. All these years of him calling me his bride and I'd never thought anything of it but I realised now that title had been a reflection of the truth, and not a product of his own wishful thinking.

The revelation of our betrothal was more shocking than meeting our daughter. It was so paralysing that I couldn't even move let alone talk, and the longer I sat for the more traumatised I became. I'd gotten the truth, as I'd wanted, but the truth had given me no solace.

To heal from this would be impossible.

And so after many, many minutes, the first move I made was to my wrist, where I undid the bracelet and let it fall to the grass.

As I stood up finally, my legs trembling, Kazama peered up at me with concern. 'Chizuru.' He said warily, picking up the bracelet that I'd discarded and getting to his feet as well.

Without another glance at him I began to move over to the edge of the clearing, his words going in one ear and out the other. I couldn't hear anything apart from the voice in my head chanting the same thing over and over again.

 _Kazama is the man from your memories._

Following cautiously behind me, he stayed close to my side as if he feared I was going to hurt myself. 'Chizuru, come now.' He said with a sigh as I entered the forest and began to walk away from the clearing. I wasn't even listening to anything coming out of his mouth, as all I could focus on was the growing need to run away and escape all the turbulent emotions raging inside me.

And still the voice continued, getting louder and louder.

 _Kazama is the man from your memories. The man you cherished deeply, the man you would have died for._

I wanted to scream to drown it out, but I knew already that its taunting wouldn't stop until I'd lost my mind. Even as I stumbled through the thicket it was relentlessly reminding me that the man tailing me, the man I'd once hated, was the same one that I'd loved.

And truly, I had loved him. Not in the way I would had we eventually wed but in the way that any 6 year old would love someone they looked up to, someone they knew would protect them.

Kazama watched in defeat as I walked further and further into the forest, a regretful and maybe desperate expression on his usually collected face. He gave up on trying to call my name as he'd promptly realised I was off in my own world, barely clinging onto reality, but he stayed close to me as if I might drift off the planet any second and it would be up to him to pull me back down.

I wanted to tell him how I felt. I wanted to ask him the thousands of questions whirling around inside my head but my mouth wasn't working. I would likely be mute for days after this moment and I saw no end to the constant and suppressive collection of thoughts and feelings circling in my head that repeated his words over and over again.

 _I was promised their first born daughter, Chizuru, to take Masako's place as my wife._

That was me. I was their first born daughter, and therefore I'd been birthed for the purpose of becoming his wife. I was never intended to be the heir to the Yukimura clan as I would have left for Kazama's village once we'd been married, and so the title would have gone to Kaoru. But that didn't bother me. What bothered me was that technically Kazama and I should have already been married for 5 years now, longer than we'd actually known each other… well, I couldn't even say that anymore. Apparently we'd been acquainted since I was just a baby.

But had I seen him _after_ I'd resurrected him?

I didn't know, but Kazama would. Kazama would know everything.

Suddenly, he caught my hand in his.

I seized up at the feeling of his skin, but he didn't hold onto me for too long before he said what he needed to. 'Chizuru, stop.' He sighed, trying to hold me back. His grasp was light and cautious as if he was scared I'd turn around and cut his arm off, but firm enough to prevent me from advancing.

When I said nothing Kazama sighed again but didn't force me to meet his eyes. 'Just… sit down. If you want to ask questions then I'll answer them, and if you don't want me to talk then I won't. I know this is a lot to take in at once so I'll give you as much time as you need to come to terms with it. But don't walk away.' He said sensitively, a pleading undertone to his voice.

I didn't know what to think of his appeal. Half of me felt like running away, which is why I'd started walking in the first place, but my legs were only getting weaker and my knees were about to give way. I knew I couldn't walk for much longer anyway and already I was becoming breathless and lightheaded, as if I'd been wandering in the forest for days and not seconds.

Sinking down onto the grass as my legs finally collapsed, I propped my back against a tree and hugged my knees. Kazama watched me soundlessly as I turned my back to him and pressed my forehead to my forearm, closing my eyes and trying to block his presence out. Now that I'd discovered the truth it was like having two people inside my body; the 6 year old me, and the current me. I didn't know whether to feel upset, angry or even _relieved_. After all, I'd finally found the man I'd been searching for.

But I couldn't feel true delight, not yet. I was too overwhelmed.

Kazama sat back down many metres away in order to give me space. He was still holding my bracelet in his hand and I knew that it would be a hard decision for me to put it back on again now that I knew what it meant. Could I _ever_ put it back on again? Wouldn't that be the equivalent of me accepting his proposal a second time? I wondered if our engagement was actually still in effect or if it had been annulled after the slaughter of my village. That and so many other things I wanted to ask him.

But I couldn't, or at least not at the moment. I couldn't even look at him out of fear of what I'd feel if I saw his face.

Affection or confusion? Fondness or pain?

Who knew what I would feel if I looked at him. Maybe it would be all of them.

And so we sat there in a deep, onerous silence, the seconds becoming minutes and the minutes becoming almost an hour. No matter how long we were there Kazama didn't speak. He let me sit there for as long as I needed in order to regain my bearings and to calm down, and bit by bit I became less shocked and more numb. The weakness in my body had subsided and now I was stuck with a myriad of questions. I was dying to ask them but my throat was still thick with unshed tears, my head throbbing with too much knowledge, and we'd been stuck in this silence for so long that to break it seemed akin to sacrilege.

But finally, as I predicted, it was Kazama who did so.

'Chizuru.' He said, his voice somewhat feeble. I could hear in his tone that he was almost scared of how I would react to being spoken to after so long and how I would react in general to _him_. It had likely taken him a long time to muster up the courage to talk which was very uncharacteristic of someone as confident as Kazama. I hadn't looked up yet but I could feel the hesitancy radiating off him.

I didn't acknowledge him, which he'd suspected anyway. 'We still have a few hours left of travel and it would be wise to finish it before nightfall. Tonight I will leave you in peace if that's what you desire but for now we should proceed with the journey.' He said, getting to his feet. I was not looking forward to the hours of horseriding it would take for us to get to our next campsite as just the thought of spending all that time so close to him incited so many strange feelings. It was insane to think about how many times I'd put my arms around him in the past, completely unaware that I'd been clinging onto the mystery man from my past.

 _Kazama_ was that man. And it would take a really long time to accept that.

I rose up off the grass despite my inner chaos, too mentally exhausted to protest. Deep down all I wanted right now was for it to be night-time so I could go to bed and forget everything, and Kazama seemed equally as eager for the end of today.

Together we made our way back to the clearing, where Shiranui and Amagiri were already waiting.

Before we'd even appeared they were staring in our direction. Both of them froze as we entered, their eyes shifting precariously between Kazama and I as if one of us would suddenly attack them. They were analysing both of our behaviour to discern how I'd reacted to the news, which I realised heartbrokenly that they would have known about too.

Once again I had been the only one left in the dark.

Kazama didn't speak or look at either of them when he reached Yuki, getting up into the saddle. He slipped my bracelet into my saddle bag and placed his feet in the stirrup before extending his hand out to help me get up, although the move was faltering as if he feared it wouldn't be accepted anyway.

I hadn't thought about what I'd do when this time came. Normally I would accept his offer with a sigh at his smirk or a roll of my eyes, but right now there was none of that playfulness coming from either of us. Kazama's hand remained outstretched even as the situation became awkward and as the seconds ticked by I could feel everyone becoming unsettled, even myself.

Eventually it was habit that overtook me, and I reached out timidly to accept his help.

The tension drained automatically from the air as Kazama hauled me up to sit behind him, his body relaxing at the reception of his gesture, but he didn't want to test his limits. He didn't look back and spout one of his usual sly instructions to hold onto him; instead he let me do it of my own volition, and that wasn't until we were literally milliseconds from breaking into a gallop.

Jerking his head to communicate to the others that it was time to go, he spun Yuki around so we could head back to the mountain track.

At first when we began to gallop I held onto him begrudgingly, only wrapping my arms around him tight enough to stay on the horse. I had my chest against his back but I didn't press my cheek to him as I normally would, looking instead at the forest as it streamed past us in a blur of green and brown. Kazama's body was a mix of tense and yielding as if he had picked up on my reluctance to hold him tighter, but he was counting his lucky stars that I'd even agreed to be this close to him.

As we rode down the track leaving clouds of dirt in our wake, I finally closed my eyes to seal off the cold wind. All I could focus on now was the heat of his body against me and his earthy, spicy scent. It made sense to me now why it had always been so easy for me to recognise him by smell or to recall the perfume of his skin; because I'd become accustomed to it as a child. It chipped away at my willpower and coaxed my arms to hold him harder, to have more of him against me.

And as my arms snaked firmer around his torso, he moved one hand from the reins to under his cape.

Where he pressed his hand to mine.

* * *

 **Ending note**

 **Draamaaaaaaa! Poor Chizuru :D**

 **Thanks for reading and I hoped you liked it XD**


	39. A wooden wren

**Hey guys, hope you've all been good!**

 **Voila, here is the next instalment so please enjoy xx**

MASSIVE THANKS to my beautiful, amazing and deeply cherished reviewers **Aonami96, Maisenpai34, Lakarae, MayuoftheMoon, Evy22, sumiko808, Mimi, Riri, Kate101, Nafeesa, Kuronue and fan girl** for all YOUR AMAZING AND HEART-WRENCHINGLY GENEROUS reviews. Really, I adore all of you guys so much xxxxxxxx

 **And for the few of you with questions:**

 **Aonami96:** Hello there, thanks for the review :D About Kazama's pendant, you'll find out next chapter anyway haha so I might as well not ruin anything for you :D thanks for reading!

 **MayuoftheMoon:** Howdy, thanks for the review xx to answer your question I am indeed still going to write some from Kazama's perspective, although I'm still undecided as to how many. But I will definitely keep in mind your request for this one! Thank you and enjoy this new chapter :D

 ** _PS. THIS IS A FLASHBACK CHAPTER!_**

* * *

 **A wooden wren**

I could see light.

Finally, after so long in the dark, there was a glimmer of brightness that summoned my entrance back into the world.

My body was heavy and sore, my limbs were shaking, and as I opened my eyes to draw in the sight of the dimly lit room I could see that I was totally alone. Not even an insect was present for my awakening nor could I feel any presences around me, and I very quickly realised that I didn't know where I was. All I knew was that my skin was hot and sticky despite the strips of wet cloth someone had pressed to my forehead to abate my fever.

When I tried to remember what had happened nothing came to mind. The only thing I could think to do was call out for someone but when I tried to speak nothing came out. My throat was slick with mucus and my lips were too chapped to form the words I wished to say.

So what had happened to me, and where was I?

When I opened my eyes wider, I began to recognise the room I was in. The cold stone walls, the soft grey rug on the floor and the collection of stuffed toys next to me all seemed very familiar. As I stared at them I began to remember how I'd sat on the rug with someone else, someone close to me, and we'd read books we'd smuggled into our room while our parents thought we were asleep. There was a small vase of lavender beside my bed probably handpicked from our flower garden and its scent brought back memories of helping my mother do the gardening in the late afternoons.

With all these events rushing back to me it became clear where I was.

This was my room. I was in the Yukimura estate.

I tried to move my lifeless body as much as I could but all I managed was a weak squirm. I knew I needed to get up so I could at least find my parents and ask them what had happened to me but I couldn't move enough to raise myself, and when I tried I ended up breathless and panting. My arms and legs felt like jelly and even the smallest of movements caused so much exhaustion that I was left panting, and consequently I was growing not only more frustrated with my infirmity but more afraid as I couldn't remember how I'd gotten to be in such a state. All I knew was that I couldn't bear to lay here anymore not knowing what was happening to me, and the only way to discover the truth was to haul myself out of bed.

Just as I made another effort to get up, a flash of scarlet and gold caught my eye.

Craning my head to look down at my hand where the colour had come from I saw my bracelet around my wrist, the bracelet that Kazama had given me as a promise to become my husband. I didn't really understand yet what a marriage would entail but when I looked at my mother and father that's what I hoped for myself. Someone to love me, someone to protect me, and I knew in my heart that one day he would be the one to give me that.

And that's when I remembered.

Gasping for air suddenly like I couldn't breathe, the shock of my memories hit me like a punch to the guts.

 _Kazama…_

How could I have forgotten?

Kazama had come to our village with a grievous injury. He'd been covered in blood and barely alive, and tears sprung to my eyes as I remembered how hopeless I'd felt as I'd watched him bleed through all his bandages and how desperate I'd been when I'd seen the colour drain from his skin.

I'd seen him die. I'd watched him take his last breath.

And then I'd brought him back to life again.

A rush of adrenaline gave me enough energy to roll out of bed, and the force of hitting the hard stone floor rattled my bones. I cowered for a bit as I laid there but I didn't stay motionless for long as my fear spurred me to keep moving. I'd seen with my own eyes his wound as it had closed but there was still some doubt in me that it had even happened as I'd been unaware I'd possessed such power. I'd been told my abilities wouldn't surface until I was older and that I would need to be trained in my clan power before I could even use it, but the memories of the golden tornado whirling around me were as vivid as ever. I'd even heard everyone discussing how not only had I healed him but brought him back from the _dead_.

Was that really possible?

And more importantly, was he alright?

Crawling over to my door, I managed to get shakily to my knees and grasp the handle. I was so fragile that the little movement I'd made so far was almost enough to make me faint again but I pushed on through the pain. Sweat was already starting to drip down my face from exertion but I was not going to stop until I knew he was safe, and if he wasn't then I was prepared to go through the whole ordeal again to ensure his survival.

As I pushed the door open, I dragged myself on my hands and knees into the corridor. Judging by the absence of activity and the lack of maids I presumed it was very late as the servants often returned to their own families at night save for the few who resided in the estate. If it really was evening then how long had I been asleep for? Could it be possible that I'd slept for a whole day and into the next night? I sure did feel tired enough to sleep for that long but my body felt like it had been immobile for much longer than one day. I felt like I hadn't moved for at least a month.

Continuing down the hall on all fours, I reached the bend. There was no one in sight and my muscles were beginning to quake with even more force. I already felt so frail and I knew if I kept on pushing myself then it wouldn't end well for me, but I just couldn't bring myself to stop. Just like on the night I'd saved Kazama's life I was prepared to do anything and everything to get to where he was. It was my duty to care about his wellbeing both as a person and as his betrothed.

Suddenly I heard brisk walking.

I paused mid-crawl to lift my eyes to whoever was approaching. I was so relieved to know there was someone coming as I was growing weaker by the second and the only thing keeping me conscious was the coldness radiating from the stone and the thought of Kazama. My vision was blurring at a frightening rate but in spite of all the terrible things happening to my body I was even more petrified of not being able to see him before the world went black again.

When the person finally appeared from around the corner, it was a maid. She was carrying a tray of cloths and cold water so I presumed she was on her way to treat my spiking fever. Unable to speak or call out I waited for her to see me on the floor and I prayed that I would stay conscious because I didn't know how long I'd be insentient for if I passed out again. I was terrified of being submerged in that dreamless, cold sleep once more, in particular because once I'd entered it I might not be able to get back out.

Filled to the brim with panic at that thought, I didn't have enough time to dwell on it before the maid saw me.

An ungodly crashing noise reverberated through the air as she dropped her tray, sending water pouring in all directions and soaking the bandages that had fluttered to the ground. It seemed to shock her that I was awake and she spent a good few seconds gaping at me in horror as if I was the devil himself, her face paling at the sight of me violently shaking on the stone floor.

As I finally collapsed against the ground, she pulled herself together.

'Chizuru-sama!' She cried, appearing in front of me and lifting my limp body into her arms. I couldn't say anything as she pressed her hand to my forehead and wiped the sweat from my eyes, an uncontained flash of relief igniting in her own. I was so relieved that someone had found me as I didn't know how long I could have lasted out in the corridor, but I still wasn't able to speak or ask if Kazama was alright.

Picking me up urgently but gently, she carried me in the direction of my room. 'Chizuru-sama, what are you doing out here? You mustn't move in your condition.' She gasped, almost scolding me but her voice was far too soft to be threatening. All I managed in response was a small groan, intended to tell her that I wanted to be taken to Kazama instead of back to my room, but evidently even if she had understood I was aware she wouldn't have complied anyway.

When we entered my room she placed me back on the bed, using her hand to wipe away the sweaty hair from my forehead. 'I am going to get your parents. I will be back in a few seconds so please don't move.' She implored, placing her hand on my arm before she stood up.

I didn't even have enough time to draw in my next breath before she was gone.

Left to myself once again, I kept my eyes trained on the door for the arrival of my parents. Due to their speed I knew it would only take a few seconds for them to come to me but each of those seconds felt like a decade when combined with the pain I was in and my worry for Kazama. The truth was I was scared because I could feel just how close my body was to slipping back into the darkness, the darkness that had surrounded me like a thick cloud while I'd been unconscious, and although I didn't really understand the concept of death yet even I was aware I'd only marginally escaped it. Of course I was only in this state because I'd saved Kazama's life and therefore I had no regrets, but even so… I was afraid.

Before I could fixate anymore on my distress, a pair of warm arms wrapped around me tightly.

I hadn't even noticed my parents enter, but my mother already had her arms around my body and my father had his own around us both, securing me within their safe and warm embraces. I was suddenly so relieved to have them here that I couldn't restrain my tears, and they flowed down my face and soaked into my mother's clothing.

Eventually she pulled back only enough to look at me, cupping my cheeks and using her thumbs to brush away my tears. 'My child. My precious Chizuru.' She choked, leaning in to leave a trail of kisses across my forehead.

I raised a shaking hand to press against her cheek as she'd done to me, drawing in a painful breath. 'Mo... Mother.' I croaked, articulating the first word since I'd woken up.

At the mention of her name she only held me close again, leaving my father room to stroke my hair. He didn't speak or tremor like my mother but his tears trickled onto the top of my head, and with his arms encircling the both of us I'd never felt safer than I did then.

I could tell in the way they were holding me that I'd been even closer to death than I'd suspected.

For a long time we sat on my bed in silence, but when my mother sensed I was getting overheated from everyone's warmth she let me go. 'My poor Chizuru.' She sighed, inspecting the feverish crimson of my whole body. 'You must be in so much pain, my darling. You're still burning up after all this time too.' She cooed, turning away from me to grab the glass of water off my bedside table that the maid had placed there. I hadn't even noticed that she'd entered with my parents but after leaving water and cloths to treat my fever she had left to give us some privacy, shutting the door on the way out.

When my mother handed me the glass I didn't think twice as I brought it to my lips. It was only after being offered water did I realise how thirsty I was and upon reflection that was probably why I'd had so much difficulty in talking. My throat felt like it had been scrubbed with sandpaper.

Lowering the cup as I finished every drop, my mother took it off me. 'Lay down and I'll treat your fever now, Chizuru, before it gets any worse. Kobaru, my love, could you open the window to let some fresh air in?' She requested, picking up the bowl of water and the cloth from my bedside table, and my father appeared by the window and opened it fully to allow the evening breeze to reduce the temperature in the room.

Even though the cold air and the wet cloth felt good on my skin, I didn't want to settle just yet. If I relaxed then I knew I would fall asleep and I couldn't risk that until I'd found out about Kazama.

Shaking my head weakly as my mother tried to coax me into laying down, I swallowed the lump in my throat. 'K…Kaza…' I tried to say, looking at both my parents earnestly as if to communicate my worries with just the expression on my face.

Thankfully, what I'd managed to articulate was enough for them to understand.

My father was the one who answered, the first time he'd spoken since he'd entered the room. 'Kazama is fine, Chizuru. He is safe and well but he's sleeping now as it's very late. Your brother is asleep too.' He said, his touch soft on my head.

My heart soared at the news of Kazama's good health and a small smile graced my face. I knew my father wouldn't lie to me which meant Kazama was indeed safe but I still felt like I needed to see him. For all I knew he could have been leaving our village tomorrow and if I didn't get to say goodbye then I would be devastated.

Slowly sitting up straighter, I tried to speak again. 'I want… to see… him.' I rasped, a stubborn glint surfacing in my eyes. My parents knew this look very well as they saw it whenever I refused to back down, but they may have been a bit startled to see it when I was so weak and exhausted. Even in my current condition I had no qualms in being difficult to get what I wanted.

My parents exchanged a glance before my mother pressed her gentle hands to my narrow shoulders. 'Kazama has agreed to stay until you're well again so you can see him tomorrow. As for now it's well past midnight and it would be rude to awaken him at such a time given how he is also tired. I know you wish to see him again because you're worried, but I assure you he is fine.' She said tenderly, her hands falling to hold both of mine.

Reassured by her words, I wiped the stubborn look off my face. I was overjoyed to hear that Kazama was ok and that he would be staying until I'd recovered, and I thanked the heavens that I'd been able to summon the necessary power to heal him. If he'd passed away then I would have blamed myself for the rest of my life.

Sighing heavily though, I was still disappointed I wouldn't get to see him tonight. 'Will you… tell him to come… in the morning?' I requested hoarsely, clearing my throat and wincing at the discomfort. My father smiled at my eagerness, brushing his hand soothingly over my hair. 'I will tell him that you want to see him, yes. Kazama will no doubt be very happy that you have awakened and I'm sure he will come as soon as possible once he arises.' He said, pacifying me with a stroke of his hand over my hair.

Finally succumbing to my mother's persistence, I laid back down on the mattress and let her treat me.

She seemed relieved when I capitulated and I closed my eyes as she dabbed the sweat from my face and neck. Slowly the fire under my skin started to ebb away and I felt like I could breathe again, and I told myself that I could go back to sleep now that my concern over Kazama had dissipated. I was beyond exhausted so I was open to rest and the sooner I slept the sooner I could see him again. I was dying to see with my own eyes that I truly had brought him back from the dead.

After rinsing the cloth in the cold water, my mother reapplied it to my scorching skin. 'Chizuru, there is something we need to tell you before you see Kazama tomorrow.' She suddenly said, carrying on before I could start dwelling on what she meant. 'I know this might confuse you but you must not tell him that it was you who resurrected him. We have already told everyone it was your father, even those here in the village.'

Immediately I was astounded at my mother's order. Why was it such a big deal if he found out it was me who healed him? Wasn't it good that I'd managed to use my powers so young and that I'd been strong enough to raise the dead? I thought my parents would be proud of me for that instead of making me hide it like I'd done something wrong.

My father noticed I was starting to screw up my face so he picked up my hand. 'Do you remember what you did on that night, Chizuru?' He asked, his tone quiet but also curious. I nodded, playing with the sun charm as it beat in time with Kazama's heart. 'I do. I… healed him. When he was dead.' I said croakily, speech still proving as an issue but I thankfully realised it was becoming easier and easier the more I practised.

My father nodded, as did my mother who had begun sponging my boiling face and neck again. 'Indeed. You not only healed him but you brought him back to life. That is something not even I can do, Chizuru, and that's why you are so exhausted now. You've been asleep for a whole week and there were numerous occasions where we feared you wouldn't awaken; but you pulled through, and it proves that even now you are growing stronger than the both of us. That's why it's wise to keep it a secret even from Kazama as there are people out there who might try to take advantage of you should they find out the truth about your power.' He said, lifting my hand to press to his cheek.

I was dumfounded by what my father had told me. I hadn't known I'd been asleep for a _whole week_ and it wasn't any less shocking hearing that even now I was becoming more powerful than both my parents. Despite this I was still unsure about why I'd need to keep it a secret from Kazama though as I knew he would never take advantage of me or share the truth with anyone if he'd been asked not to. There was no reason for him to be kept in the dark.

But whatever my father asked of me I would do.

Reluctantly agreeing, I squeezed my father's hand weakly. 'Ok.' I agreed, noticing my mother's content smile in my peripheral vision. They appeared satisfied with how readily I'd complied but right now I was too preoccupied with the morning to focus on anything else.

Tomorrow I would see Kazama.

Once again I would be faced with those beautiful garnet eyes. Everyone in the Yukimura village had brown hair and brown eyes so to see another person with features so bright and stunning was odd to say the least, but to me they were breathtaking. I may have only been 7 but even I knew Kazama was an attractive man, in addition to loyal and protective, and I longed with all my heart to see him again. I was a little disillusioned that I wouldn't be able to tell him that it was I who brought him back from the dead as I felt Kazama would be very proud of me for that, but I trusted my father's judgement so if I'd been asked not to disclose the truth then I wouldn't.

Coming down from the heights of my joy, I finally relaxed enough for fatigue affect me. It was thick and unrelenting as it clouded my mind and reduced my thoughts to basic and nonsensical, so concentrated that it even masked my pain. The closer I got to slumber the more my body screamed for me to give into it and although I was still hesitant to rest, it became even more evident I wouldn't be able to avoid it for much longer.

And closing my eyes as my mother continued to bathe my sizzling skin, I fell into a dreamless repose once more.

* * *

Even from inside the void of my dreams I could feel the stroke of a warm hand down my face.

The caresses were tender and concerned, but they didn't come from my mother or father. I had sensed my parents' departure a while ago and shortly after they had been replaced by someone who had seated themselves down on my bed beside me, their presence warm and bright.

As I began to rouse, a light groan slipped from my lips. I was in more pain than I had been in last night and I felt like I'd been trampled by horses given the aching in my muscles, but to my relief my fever had gone down. My skin was no longer sweltering nor was I sweating copiously but I had a savage headache that throbbed behind my eyes, and it was obvious that it would take a long time to recover. But how much time I wasn't sure.

Finally becoming conscious enough to move, my eyes rolled open.

The first thing I saw was the stone ceiling above me. I was thankful that my room was so dark because my eyes were sore and hypersensitive, and even the small rays of light escaping from behind the curtains made my head pound. Judging by the intensity of the light and the chirping of birds outside my window I gathered it was daytime but I had no idea whether it was morning or afternoon, and I was much too weak to go outside and check for myself. Not only was I weak but I was tired too, burdened by a kind of fatigue I'd never felt before.

Suddenly, I felt someone shift beside me.

It was then that I remembered there was someone there, someone who'd been stroking my face as I'd regained consciousness. Looking to my left to see who it was I noticed they were wearing an iridescent green yukata with gold embroidery, their milky skin glowing in the low light, and their scent had replaced the lavender in the air with autumn leaves and spice. They were still cupping my cheek but they hadn't spoken even though they knew I was definitely awake and I found I couldn't speak either, not even to ask them who they were. Their touch on my face was so comforting and familiar as was the golden sheen of their hair, and as my tired eyes stared into theirs all I could see was the most beautiful shade of cherry.

There was only one person with eyes that colour.

It was _him_.

It was Kazama.

Instantly the tears began to stream down my face as I stared up at him, so relieved to have proof that he was alive that I couldn't hold them back. The last time I'd seen him was when he'd been laying in a pool of his own blood, and those scenes haunted me even though in the end he'd come out just fine. All that distress and trauma I'd suffered with seeing him in that condition came to me all at once and the only thing that kept me together was his hand on my face and the soft ministrations of his thumb as he brushed my tears away.

As my vision began to clear, I saw that he was staring down at me placidly. He made no effort to talk but I could see he didn't find it pleasant to watch me cry so he continued to console me with his touch. His scarlet eyes were burning like hot coals in the dimness of my room but despite their bloody colour they were not cruel or heartless, but full of sensitivity. I'd heard Kazama was renowned for coming across as menacing but I'd never once sensed that from him, not in his demeanour nor in his eyes.

And when I instinctively reached out to touch his face, he wordlessly leaned forward to permit the contact.

Trying so hard not to fall apart I cupped his cheek with shaky fingers. 'Kazama…sama.' I croaked, my voice breaking with emotion and physical pain. It hurt so much to speak but I didn't regret doing so, because when I said his name I saw the smallest flash of sentiment surface in him as well.

As he saw the agony in my expression he lifted his spare hand to grasp the cup of water sitting on my bedside table. 'Here, Chizuru.' He sighed, moving his hand off my face in order to help me sit up. I tried to maintain a brave countenance as I dragged myself up into a sitting position but it was difficult when it felt like every muscle was being torn off the bone, but Kazama moved closer so I could lean against his side for support.

Guiding the cup to my lips, he watched me drink.

Just as it had been last night, the water was a blessing. Kazama passed no judgement as I skulled it so eagerly that it escaped the sides of the cup and trickled down my face, and every so often he used his fingers to clear the liquid from my chin. He made sure than he supported both the cup and my quivering body because if he'd withdrawn his assistance then I would have crumbled back onto the bed and dropped the glass in the process. His body and my grasp on the front of his yukata were the only things keeping me upright.

When I was finished he placed the cup back down on the bedside table. 'You should lay down again, little one. You need to regain your strength as soon as possible.' He bade, sweeping his hand over my hair as if to smooth it down.

He was right that I needed to rest but I didn't want to pull myself away just yet, so instead I held him tighter, not saying a word as I wrapped my arms around his torso and buried my face into his chest.

He went rigid for a split second before he allowed himself to relax, giving in when he realised I wanted to stay against him. I was over the moon that he hadn't pushed me away or forced me to lay down and when he began to stroke my hair I closed my eyes and savoured the fact he was here with me. I was so relieved that he would be staying until I'd recovered as that meant we would be able to spend as much time together as we wanted, and I swore to myself that I would never take him for granted again.

Suddenly he shifted, pulling his hand off my head. 'Chizuru.' He said out of the blue, already looking down at me as I removed my face from his chest.

At the sound of my name from his lips I raised my eyes to his, still clutching him tightly as if he might flee at any second. 'Yes, Kazama-sama?' I murmured, my throat itchy and uncomfortable but thankfully it was getting easier to speak.

He heard the tinge of soreness in my voice so instead of waiting for me to talk further he dipped his hand into his obi and grasped something he'd tucked in there.

Keeping the item hidden from my sight, he drew my hand into his. 'I have something I wish to give you, if you choose to accept it.' He revealed, actively examining my eyes for my answer so I didn't have to talk. I was taken by surprise even though it wasn't new to me to receive gifts from Kazama. He often sent me packages filled with assortments of exotic fabrics, kimonos, books and perfumes but since he lived so far away it was quite uncommon for him to physically give me something himself. It made me wonder what kind of gift he would offer me in person but whatever it was I would be grateful for it, as it showed that he cared for me.

After I'd let him unfurl my fingers, he placed something smooth and onto my palm. 'I made this for you.' He said simply, pulling his hand away so I could see what he'd put there.

It was a small wooden carving of a wren, coated in a glossy lacquer and made from dark oak. Engraved into its surface were feathers and holes for its nostrils and eyes, and on its flat base he'd carved two simple words.

 _For Chizuru._

Running my fingertips over the smooth surface of the wood, my heart swelled with glee. It meant so much to me to receive something like this from him, something that he'd made by hand to show me that he cared. Out of everything I'd ever gotten this was my favourite present even though it wasn't the biggest or most expensive, as I was aware of all the hours he would have put into making it.

This was a gift from the heart.

Pressing it to my chest, I internally vowed that I would treasure it forever. 'Thank you, Kazama-sama.' I said, gazing up at him with unconcealed admiration. He acknowledged my gratitude with a tilt of the head and then he placed his hand back on my hair again. 'There is no need to thank me, little one. You shall repay me with your company once you get better, so for now all you need do is rest.' He said tranquilly, his scarlet eyes gleaming like rubies.

Keeping the bird close to my heart I gave him a small smile and leaned back into his chest. 'Ok.' I said.

I was honoured that he would be content with just my simple company and so I wanted to make sure I'd planned some things for us to do once I'd recovered. I wanted to show him the new section of our garden, the one I'd helped plant, in addition to the Yukimura creek which had melted at the end of winter. There were ducks everywhere now that it was spring so we would often go to feed them and my mother would let us hold the ducklings.

I wanted to do all of this with him too. I wanted to make the most of our time together before he went back to his village.

Mulling over that thought for a while, it was I who interrupted our peaceful silence. 'Kazama-sama, will you ever… take me to Akimura?' I asked curiously, my voice gradually becoming strong enough for me to speak full sentences with less difficulty. I was hoping he'd give me a favourable answer as I'd always wanted to see his village, the village renowned for its pleasant weather and golden trees, and it was because of this perpetual autumn that it had gained its name.

Kazama's hand continued to thread through my hair, from the scalp to the ends. 'Of course, as that is where we shall live once you are 16. I am certain you will love it there although regretfully our winters are not cold enough for snow.' He sighed. He knew that I'd adored the snow since I was old enough to crawl and therefore my favourite time of year was when my village was blanketed with white. I loved everything about winter including making snowmen and having snowball fights, so the realisation I would have to leave it behind did sadden me.

But in losing something I was fond of, I would gain something else to cherish.

I inspected the wooden wren in my hands as I pursed my lips. 'Do I really… have to wait until I'm 16? If I get better really quickly then maybe I can come with you when… when you leave?' I posed, coughing a few times to clear my brittle throat. This was the perfect opportunity to visit his village as he would be able to take me there himself, and maybe I could even stay for a few months! I would miss my family but because of my father's middle power they would be able to speak with me as much as they wanted to, and I would be back before they knew it anyway. If I was to live there someday then I wanted to know what to expect.

Kazama's fingers continued their absentminded course through my hair. 'If you so desire it then one day I will allow you to visit before you are 16, but it cannot be right now. Your parents would not be pleased if I took you from their sides after you fell so ill but it's reassuring to know you're this eager. Hopefully you are still enthusiastic when the day comes for you to stay with me permanently.' He said, his eyes glinting with the faintest spark of entertainment.

I was satisfied with his answer and also resolute that when they day came for me to reside with him indefinitely I would do so without hesitation. By the time I was 16 I may have come to like him even more and we would be even better friends, and maybe I would even love him in a grown-up way too.

And if I loved him then I would happily move to Akimura.

Satisfied with his agreement to take me to his village before our marriage, I didn't pester him about it again. 'Mother and Father told me that your village is really pretty because of all the red and yellow trees and the… the big lake too.' I noted hoarsely, gazing into his glittering eyes. They really were the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen and I was convinced I could stare into them for the rest of my life and not grow any less mesmerised.

Kazama seemed to be analysing my face as well but I couldn't detect what he was searching for. 'You would find it pleasing too, I am sure. I have a lawned area and a big garden that extends the way down to the pier by the water's edge, so when you visit you may help me with the gardening if you wish. Your father told me you enjoy such things, as do I.' He offered, waiting patiently for my reaction.

I was delighted that he would allow me to help him in the garden and by the sounds of it there would be plenty more to do as well. If he had his own pier then did he go fishing and boating too? Was it also possible to swim there?

It seemed like the complete opposite of my village but that made it extra intriguing.

I smiled, content that he would be so willing to share his life with me. 'I would love that, Kazama-sama. And when I go to your village I'll bring some special plants from here to put in your garden. That way you won't forget about me before I turn 16.' I added matter-of-factly, settling back against his chest and gazing down at the wooden bird. I didn't think he would forget about me of course but I still wished to put something in his garden that reminded him of me. Besides, it would be nice to have a piece of my village in Akimura if I was to live there.

Kazama knew I'd only been joking, but he humoured me anyway. 'I could never forget about you, Chizuru.' He assured me, and for a split second he pulled me tighter against his side.

My youthful heart skipped a beat at his remark and I blushed against his yukata, hiding my face so he couldn't see. I was so lucky to have someone like him by my side who I knew would always be there for me, and silently I swore to him that I would never forget him either. How could I anyway? We had been paired together since birth for a reason and one of those was because my father already knew that he would be the only one deserving to be my husband, and even at my young age I could see the qualities that made Kazama and I suited to one another.

And as I grew older, I was certain I would uncover even more.

Suddenly Kazama sighed, moving his hand from my hair to my shoulder. 'Chizuru, I wish to ask for something of you.' He admitted unexpectedly, adopting a serious expression.

The request came out of nowhere, so quickly that I didn't have time to wipe the silly blush from my cheeks. I had no clue what he wanted but I already knew I would give it to him because he had already given me so much. It would take years to make up for all the attention and gifts he'd lavished me with so far and I knew he wouldn't cease to do so even after I'd married him; in fact his gift-giving would probably only increase the more acquainted we became. The least I could do was grant him the few things he asked in return.

When he saw I was listening wholeheartedly, he picked up my hand. 'From now on I don't want you to call me Kazama-sama anymore.' He said softly, taking me by surprise.

I scoured his face for signs of why and what he meant but I found nothing, not even after a minute. If he didn't want me to call him Kazama-sama then what did he want me to call him? Did he not want me to say his name at all? I didn't know if I should be hurt or confused and I couldn't think of a single reason why he would ask something like this of me, especially without elaborating on it. I was yearning for an explanation.

I frowned, cocking my head to one side. 'You don't… want me to call you Kazama-sama? Then what shall I call you?' I asked, clearing my throat to get rid of the lingering dryness.

In response to my question he picked up my hand, turning it over to expose the sun charm. The way he ran his thumb over it a few times made it seem like his request had something to do with the bracelet but I couldn't think how they would be related. I was too busy considering all the reasons why he wouldn't want me to call him Kazama-sama.

Before I could get too worked up, he finally answered me.

'I want you to call me Chikage.' He entreated.

After hearing his request, my mouth fell open.

Under general circumstances it would be considered rude to call someone like Kazama by his first name particularly because he was of high birth and I was only 7, so I wasn't sure how to react. The only time I'd said his name was to myself when my father had first told me I would be getting engaged to him and I'd been under the pretence that the only time I'd be permitted to call him Chikage was when we were officially married.

But here he was asking it of me now, not even a year after our betrothal ceremony.

Despite myself I felt another childish blush creep into my cheeks, and I lowered my eyes from his respectfully. 'But what if someone hears me call you so familiarly? I'll be in trouble with Mother and Father.' I highlighted fearfully, remembering a few occasions I'd been reproached for calling elders by their first names. I used to do it all the time when I was younger because I hadn't known any better but my parents had done a good job at raising me to be polite and traditional, albeit a little stubborn sometimes.

Kazama strangely seemed amused by my concern. 'Then I will explain that I've given you permission to do so. I know that because of your age you may not understand yet what our engagement means but to me it signifies we are equal regardless of age, and as you grow older it will become clearer to you why this is important. Do you understand my reasoning?' He asked, scouring my face for any signs of confusion or misperception.

And I did understand.

He was right when he said I didn't know quite what our engagement signified as I wasn't aware of what it meant to be married to someone nor did I know how to love another in a romantic way, but I did understand that a fundamental aspect of a marriage was respect. For him to ask me to call him by his first name was his way of showing that even now he held that respect towards me.

However, it was still a bit surreal to be granted this kind of consent. 'Are you sure, Kazama-sama?' I clarified, unable to meet his eyes as I awkwardly fiddled with my hair. It was dry and knotted which reminded me I hadn't had a bath in a week, but that was the last thing on my mind after gaining permission to call him by his first name.

He nodded, lifting my chin so I had to meet his eyes. 'Yes I'm sure. I would not have offered this to you if I wasn't, and now I wish to know if you accept.' He confirmed, his touch light and temperate. His hold on my chin wasn't intended to restrict me or make me feel controlled but to show me that I didn't have to avert my eyes from him anymore. According to him we were now equals which meant I no longer had to feel obliged to break our eye contact as I normally would with an elder or a noble.

And becoming lost in the resplendence of his garnet eyes, I gave him my answer. 'I accept.' I murmured.

Pleased with my response, he released me from his glare and allowed me to settle back against his chest.

I was buzzing with elation and joy at what had just transpired. In reality it had been _him_ that had given _me_ a gift and not the other way around, as he'd officially demonstrated that he found me worthy of addressing him intimately. I wondered if he'd told my parents that he'd intended to grant me use of his first name or if he'd decided in the moment that I was deserving of it, but either way the end result was the same.

From this day forwards I would call him Chikage.

After many minutes of tranquil silence, he removed his hand from my head. 'Chizuru, I will leave you to rest now. I will return in a few hours once your parents have come check your progress as I do not wish to impede on their time with you. I will see you later on in the evening.' He promised, his arms already starting to pull away from me.

At the announcement of his exit I felt heart break in two. I didn't want him to leave and especially not when he'd only been here for a short amount of time, as I'd hoped he would stay with me at least until I fell asleep or until my parents arrived. Unfortunately I _was_ starting to feel tired again because of everything that had happened as it had likely been too much for my brain to handle, but regardless of how fatigued I was I wouldn't complain. All I'd wanted to do was to be by his side and I wouldn't waste a single second of his presence.

I couldn't hide my disappointment as I clutched his yukata tighter, determined that I wouldn't let go. 'Please stay.' I begged weakly, trying my best to keep myself sitting up straight but my whole body was trembling with exhaustion.

Kazama seemed conflicted about his decision once he saw my pleading eyes, but he stood firm. 'I promise I will come back soon, but for now you need to sleep. You have no energy to spare for long periods of time without rest and I do not wish to be the cause of your recession given how long it took you to regain consciousness again. The sooner you are better the sooner we may spend more time together, every day if you wish, but not when you are still so frail.' He declared, his eyes now steadfast and firm.

Crushed by his resistance, I refused to accept his parting. I'd been so eager to see him again and therefore I was even more devastated than I usually would be at his departure even though he'd said he would visit me later. Seeing him so close to death and being so close to death myself had put everything into perspective and it had become even clearer to me that every second without him was a second I would never get back, and knowing he would be going back to his village soon only made everything worse.

It could be a few years until we saw each other again.

Still refusing to release him from my committed grasp, I prepared myself to test out my newfound permission. 'I don't want you to go yet.' I whimpered, forcing myself to maintain eye contact. 'Chi… Chikage… sama.'

Kazama paused, his lips parting.

I couldn't tell if he was reacting to my ardent plea for him to stay or the fact I'd said his name, but in his eyes I could see the effect of my appeal on his resolution. His tenacity was melting by the second and although I didn't quite understand why that was, I realised that this was how my father looked at my mother whenever she asked him to do something for her.

Eventually Kazama surrendered to my fervent appeal. 'Very well, I will stay, but only if you lay down and try to sleep. I will remain here until your parents arrive.' He ceded with a defeated sigh, loosening his grip on my body as he readied himself to help lower me down onto the bed.

I couldn't help but smile as I relished in my success and I gratefully allowed him to help me get back under the covers. He tucked me in with a discomfited expression as if he was ashamed at having been so easily broken down by a 7 year old but he managed to conceal the majority of his injured pride from me.

Now that I was laying down and settled for sleep, he made a move to take the wren from my hands. 'Here. I will place it on your beside table.' He offered, his slender fingers inches away from the bird's glossy surface.

Holding it tighter to my chest, my response was instant. 'No!' I exclaimed, then blushed at how cogent I'd come across as. 'Uh… I want to hold it while I sleep.' I murmured, giving him a guilty look to convey I was sorry for seeming brash. He already knew I hadn't planned to sound so strident so he didn't react to my tone, instead he moved to sit closer to my side. 'As you wish, Chizuru.' He said, bringing his hand from the wren to my face.

As soon as he cupped my cheek, his warmth almost lured me to sleep right then and there.

Gazing down at me with an interesting look on his face, I stared back probably with an expression equally as wistful. He may have still been a little ashamed at how easily he'd crumbled at my zealous appeal for him to remain by my side but underneath his lingering embarrassment I sensed a tenderness as well. A tenderness for me.

Blushing faintly at the realisation, I finally closed my eyes.

Once I'd shut them, Kazama didn't speak. His caresses lulled me closer and closer to the brink of slumber and this time I wasn't scared about being swallowed by my dreams because I knew he'd be here when I woke up. I held the wren carving closer to the centre of my chest and focused on the vibration of the wood with the beats of my heart, and when I focused on Kazama's heartbeat too I remarked they were almost in sync. The sensation of his beating heart against my wrist was such a beautiful one given how close I'd been to losing him forever without even telling him how much I valued him.

So it was then that I vowed that never again would I take him for granted. He was to be my husband and lover and my best friend too, and even though our marriage would not occur for many years I already knew he had captured me wholeheartedly. There was not a single piece of my being that questioned our compatibility.

And so just moments before sleep, I made an oath to myself.

From that day on I pledged that my heart would belong to him and none other.

For all eternity.

* * *

 **Ending note**

In regards to Kazama's village name (Akimura) Aki means Autumn :D

Hope you enjoyed this little flashback !


	40. Through his eyes

**Thanks to all my reviewers Evy22, Aonami96, Yona0, Riri, OniPrincess, Lakerae, Cola, Anon and Guest for your lovely reviews :D I hope you enjoy the newest chapter and please keep reviewing xxoo**

 **Guest:** Hello! To answer your question, Kazama is not a virgin, and this was mentioned quite explicitly in Chapter in chapter 14 (On one condition) and chapter 31 (Memories). Thanks for the question :D

 **OniPrincess** : Hey there :D thanks for the review and I'll hope to answer your questions as best I can.

From reading your review I summarised the things you seem to be most confused about and I've tried to answer them to the best of my ability.

 _1\. Why didn't Kazama detect that Chizuru's parents lied to him?_

You're right when you said that Kazama is good at detecting lies, but in my mind the reason why he did not question Kobaru (Chizuru's dad) was because he trusted him; Kazama talks about what Kobaru told him in this chapter. Also you brought up how onis don't lie, which for the most-part is true, but Chizuru's parents chose to lie in order to protect her because they knew the potential consequences of someone finding out her power would be really serious.

 _2\. Why he didn't ask Chizuru about what had happened, even though he stayed until she'd fully recovered?_

Kazama didn't ask Chizuru about what had happened to her because he had no reason to; he'd already been told by her parents what had happened so there was no need for him to bring it up with her. In Chapter 12 (Power Hierarchy) Chizuru says she was 'asleep for a week and bedridden for another' meaning that her total recovery time was around 2 weeks. Although if at any stage you've read that it was a month that was probably just a typo on my behalf (so that's my fault). And yes, Kazama would have stayed with her for that time as well but once again didn't ask her because he'd already been told.

 _3\. Why did he pick a wren instead of something else?_

To be honest, I chose a wren because it _was_ different. Although it would have made sense to give her a dragon carving I felt like that was too obvious, and even if I had have picked something else, like a cat or dog like you suggested, the same question you asked would have applied anyway (why a cat or dog?). Also I was going to make it a horse carving originally because I've said Chizuru likes horses, but I mentioned in a previous chapter that Chizuru already had a toy horse when she was young and she called it Yuki. So I didn't want to add another horse to the story :D

I felt like they were your main questions so I've tried answering them, but a lot of the little stuff you brought up (like why Kazama got stabbed in the first place) will be covered in later chapters anyway, including this chapter!

By the way I'm happy that you like Chizuru's flashback chapters, and thank you for reading my story :D

 **Cola** : Hey there, thanks for the review. The questions regarding why Kazama didn't tell Chizuru about the engagement before the journey (even during the meeting with Sen, and instead of kidnapping her) is explained in this chapter; he knew she wouldn't have believed him, and it would have really traumatised her to learn that her enemy was actually the man who gave her the bracelet. In regards to when he would have told her if they hadn't have gone on the journey, he probably would have done it once the war was over and when he'd been released from his debt with the Satsuma clan.

In relation to why Kazama was mean to her at the start of the journey, I made him act irritated so that later on in the story you could really see his character development (because now he's gentler with her). But keep in mind that although he was easily irritated he always had her protection in mind, and would give her things she asked for (there are lots of examples of this in the story). Thanks for reading and enjoy the new chapter :D

 **Anon (guest):** Thank you for showing interest in my story, and thank you for asking for permission haha! May I ask what media page this is? Are you just sharing the link to my stories or are you posting the story itself? As long as you credit me as the full author (Fleur Lilas) then I think it should be ok, and as long as you specify the original location of the stories (Fanfiction. net) so people know where to go if they want to search me and my stories up :D I hope you enjoy this newest chapter :D

* * *

 **Through his eyes**

This time when I woke up it was not the daylight that greeted me, but the night.

I was no longer in a bed either nor was I in the Yukimura estate; instead I was tucked into a futon rolled out on the grass under a canopy of trees and facing away from the other 3 people I was travelling with. The campfire hadn't entirely extinguished and was now just a pile of burning coals, bright enough to cast a glow but not strong enough for the light to reach me.

It was dark and it was cold.

But the tears on my face were hot.

I could almost feel Kazama's hand on my cheek and his caresses in my hair, so vivid in my memory that I didn't know how I had ever forgotten them. I remembered the gift he'd given and the permission he'd granted to call him Chikage, and the way his resolve had crumbled in response to my plea for him to stay by my side. It had been the same expression he'd made when I'd requested things from him in the past, one example being when he'd allowed us to have lunch at Asuka's, and it was sobering to learn that even as a child I'd had that power over him.

I'd _always_ had that power over him. And he'd had a certain power over me as well.

That was one of the hardest things to process at the moment, but even harder still to come to terms with was how I'd felt about him. I'd loved him enough as a child to pledge that my heart would always be his, but it was so difficult to accept that all this time I'd been feeling this way about _Kazama_.

Kazama, of _all_ people. Out of everyone on the entire planet, the man from my memories just _had_ to be Kazama.

It went without saying there was no way we could return to what we were, whatever that was anyway. I could choose to remain angry and resentful that he'd withheld the truth of our engagement or I could work on processing my feelings and just accept it for what it was. The second option seemed like the most desirable, but it was easier said than done given how I was still blinded by anger, frustration and sadness too.

And if _that_ wasn't horrendous enough, thrown into that mix was also my romantic affection for him, the affection I'd developed during the journey. It had become evident to me a while ago that what I'd mistaken as puppy love had developed into something deeper and more intoxicating, a type of infatuation that was beginning to dig its greedy claws into my heart. I'd only fooled myself by trying to stop him from getting to me because the reality was all along I'd never been protected at all. There was nothing that I could do to prevent him from infecting me even after he'd done something so deceitful.

And that _really_ concerned me.

Even after what he'd done, what he'd hidden from me and the heartbreak he'd caused… why couldn't I _hate_ him?!

I _should_ hate him. I should despise him, in fact, for choosing to withhold something so significant from my knowledge, but no matter how infuriated or dejected I was I just knew that was no longer a possibility. I felt like I was stuck in the middle of a massive game of tug-of-war, my heart trying to cope with extreme emotions from two different people; the child version of myself and the current one, and it was resulting in not only a massive headache but confusion and doubt as well. I wasn't sure which side of me I wanted to win.

But when it came down to it, the real question was whether or not I could forgive him.

Rolling over in my futon to face the others, I accepted the fact tonight would be a restless one.

Amagiri was laying on his back, his only movement being the rise and fall of his chest. He had given me plenty of space yesterday as he must have understood how distraught I was and for that I'd been so grateful. Usually it was therapeutic to speak with him because he always gave good advice without judgement or bias, but yesterday I'd just needed to be alone so I could work on organising my own thoughts before having someone else share theirs. I predicted that maybe today or tomorrow he would try to initiate conversation so what I now had to do was work out if I was ready for a discussion or not.

On one hand I did want to speak about it because I needed to get everything off my chest, but on the other I feared I would have a break down. It was hard enough for me to think about it let alone talk about it and so I ran the risk of bursting into tears or screaming or running away like I wanted to do yesterday.

Shiranui had likewise stayed clear of the situation. He usually liked to encourage conflict but even he knew that to get involved in this was playing with fire, and so apart from the occasional stray glare he hadn't interacted with me at all. It was interesting how the mood between Kazama and I dictated the mood of the entire group as Amagiri and Shiranui were more likely to be jovial if Kazama and I were bickering, and more likely to be sombre if Kazama and I were mute.

In this instance, yesterday had resulted in an even more volatile atmosphere than after our fight about saving that human woman. Of course that fight had been heated and animated, but this was a whole other level despite how yesterday we hadn't actually yelled at each other or gotten overly passionate. The discomfort came from not knowing what I would do from now on, as I hadn't spoken a word yesterday and therefore no one knew exactly how I'd taken the news nor could they gauge my true emotions. They knew I was upset and angry, but in regards to what would happen in the long term…

I was certain not even Kazama could predict that.

After analysing Shiranui for a few minutes I could feel my gaze automatically shifting towards Kazama's sleeping form, but I forced my eyes shut just before they made contact.

I told myself that it wasn't a good idea to look at him because I wasn't sure what it would make me feel, and I highly doubted that today I would choose to look at him either. Yesterday when he'd revealed that he was the one to give me the bracelet I'd been so traumatised that for the rest of the day we hadn't spoken nor had I even acknowledged his existence. As soon as he'd found this campsite I'd dismounted from Yuki without being told and gone straight to the creek for a bath, where I'd sat in the water for an hour crying until my eyes were dry and throat was raw.

I'd cried for so many reasons. I'd cried because I was confused about my feelings, because I was angry at him for hiding this from me, and because I understood that I could never think of him in the same way again. Would we remain amicable? Would we slowly descend into an awkwardness that would last the rest of the journey?

Would this split us apart forever?

The possibility was strangely… painful.

I didn't want to lose him even though he'd guarded such a large secret from me, and it wasn't just because he was the one who gave me the bracelet. I'd genuinely come to enjoy his company and the way we squabbled all the time so to consider that this might signify the end of all that was dismal to say the least. I did like him, a lot, and I was no longer trying to deny it to myself but this wasn't just something I could just sweep under the rug and put behind me. It was inevitable that the dynamic of our relationship was going to change, but in what way or how… I just didn't know.

And in that moment, I decided I _did_ want to look at him. If there was ever going to be a good time for me to get used to my emotions it was now while he was sleeping. I wouldn't have to worry about him catching me staring at him or trying to initiate conversation so it provided me with the perfect opportunity to see how I reacted to seeing his face, especially after the flashback I'd woken up from.

However, just before I opened my eyes I heard the rustling of blankets.

I went rigid in my futon, unsure whether I should open my eyes or keep them shut. I didn't want anyone catching me awake even it was only just Shiranui or Amagiri so I decided just to lay there motionless as if I too was sleeping, although if any of them activated their oni hearing they'd hear the pounding of my heart.

Thankfully it didn't take long for the person to relax, and soon after they went still in their futon. It had sounded like they'd just rolled over so it was unlikely they were awake but I waited a few more seconds just to make sure they weren't going to make any more movements.

Once I'd counted to 30, I opened my eyes halfway.

It had been Kazama that had moved. He'd rolled from his side onto his back, his hands resting on his chest and his breathing smooth and even. His eyes were closed and his face was serene and when my own eyes rested on his face a shiver travelled through my body. Even in his sleep he was so immaculate, just like he'd been in my flashback, with exactly the same features, hair and body structure as he'd had 14 years ago. It was as if someone had plucked him from my dream and placed him in a futon right in front of me, and the sight of him proved to be even more perplexing than I'd expected.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I examined his peaceful face, trying to work out how it was even possible to feel so defrauded by someone but at the same time unable to hate them. There was once a time where it would have been so easy to detest him and maybe in the past I might have to some degree, but as I watched the soft rise and fall of his chest I couldn't bring myself to feel hostile.

Frustrated and disappointed, yes, but not hostile.

Opening my eyes the rest of the way, I analysed his sleeping expression idly as I reflected more thoroughly on my flashback.

There were more things than just the deepness of my affection that I'd discovered in my dream. I'd learned that his village was called Akimura, named after autumn, and that his estate was located on the side of a mountain overlooking the lake. He'd mentioned he had a garden and a lawned area that extended the whole way to the lake's edge and that he had a pier too, and he'd also implied that he'd liked gardening. I would never have picked Kazama as one to enjoy physical labour but then again I hadn't taken him for an artist either, and yet he'd carved a wren from wood and even drawn that portrait of me too, the one he'd done on my birthday.

I still had it in my bag.

All of a sudden, I was wrenched from deep thought as Kazama's eyes opened.

I was so frenzied by his unheralded awakening that I didn't close my own straight away, but thankfully he wasn't staring at me. Instead he was gazing directly up at the canopy of leaves above his head, his irises filled with a beautiful fire that seemed to come from within them, and it was only when he made a move to sit up did I screw my own eyes shut.

As I worked on trying to slow my heart rate down, I heard Kazama rise from his futon and slide on his boots.

I wished I could open my eyes to see what he was doing but there was no way I was going to risk getting caught awake. I pondered where on earth he would be going at this time of the night but I couldn't think of anything, maybe apart from to relieve himself, but when I heard him start to walk around the campsite I quickly became aware he wasn't intending to leave.

Refusing to move a muscle, I listened for clues that could help me figure out what he was doing. His shoes scuffed on the dirt as he moved away to the edge of the campsite, his footsteps fading away almost to silence, but when I heard the sound of wood knocking together I finally understood his reason for getting up; he was relighting the fire. There was a pile of firewood that Shiranui had collected sitting on the edge of our campsite and after picking some up Kazama moved back to the dying coals to rekindle them.

Unable to stand my lack of sight anymore, I opened my eyes only enough to see the bare minimum. Kazama was kneeling beside the fire strategically placing each log down one at a time, the glow from the regenerating coals giving his silhouette a golden outline. He had his back to me and was dressed only in his black pants and white shirt, and I could see the outline of his torso thanks to the light shining through the fabric.

As a soft blush began to spread across my cheeks, I shamefully admitted inwardly that this wasn't the first time I'd admired his figure. It seemed that even after what he'd done and how I felt he _still_ had a hold over me.

Once all the logs had been placed on the embers he moved to sit to the left of the fire, only one side of his face visible.

I kept my eyes open just enough to see him but closed enough that I was looking at him through my eyelashes. He used a long stick to stoke the fire but apart from that his only other movement was his breathing, and I realised he appeared to be tired. Due to his pride Kazama never readily showed anyone if he was fatigued or worn out and I didn't know if it was caused by what had happened between us or the journey in general.

It made me wonder how _he_ felt about what had happened. Even if I had only been meant to find out after the journey surely he must have felt some relief that I'd discovered the truth. It was mind-blowing that all this time when he'd looked at me he hadn't seen the Chizuru he'd met 4 years ago in Ikedaya, he'd seen the child he'd cleared the tears from, the one he'd spoiled with gifts and affection, and the same one he'd promised he would never forget. I would never understand how he'd managed to stay silent for so long about our engagement particularly because we'd been so close in my youth, and it must have hurt him to find me after all that time and realise that I didn't remember him.

So what had he thought when he'd seen me in Ikedaya? Had he even recognised me then?

His face had shown no trace of surprise, shock or bewilderment, but inside I could only imagine the hundreds of emotions he'd had to wrestle with. He'd admitted to me yesterday that because Kodo had taken my bracelet off me he'd lost the ability to feel my heartbeat and therefore he'd thought I'd been slain along with my village, so to see me once again _must_ have left him shaken. No wonder he'd been so intent on taking me away from the Shinsengumi. It was because after all those years he'd found something he thought he'd lost forever, and if it weren't for my village's massacre then he and I would currently be married and residing in his village maybe with a child or two already.

We could have already been happy together, as a family, and that's what I'd always wanted.

I wanted a husband and children more than anything in this world and I had since I could remember, even though I'd known the prospect of marriage had been many years away. Sen and I had spoken a few times about getting married and having babies and during those discussions I'd shyly admitted to her that I'd wanted that with Hijikata. I'd always wanted that with him because I loved him, and I still did.

But it wasn't that simple anymore.

Ever since I'd figured out my feelings for Kazama I'd been filled with self-doubt. At the back of my mind were these voices asking me if I even _knew_ what I wanted as it didn't take a genius to realise that marriage between a human and an oni would be a difficult one. The issue of lifespan was one of the major causes of concern but there were others too, like what it would do to my species if I reproduced with a human. I'd been told how rare purebloods were and so if I mated with a mortal I was in some way encouraging the extinction of my own people, and I could think of nothing worse.

So what if I did choose to be with Kazama then?

I envisaged what it would feel like to wake up next to him every morning, with his arms around me and mine around him. I imagined all sorts of scenes ranging from domestic and familial, such as making sure he was well fed and taken care of, to our more intimate moments. As a child I'd truly yearned for our marriage with all my heart because I would never have to be separated from him again, even though it meant I would be taken from my family and birth village, but I'd considered such a price minor in comparison to what I would gain in the long term; love, a family and _him_.

I'd wanted _him_.

Blushing at that notion, I squinted meekly at the side of his face and flagrantly examined him. He was still peering deep into the fire with half-lidded eyes, their scarlet depths reflecting the flames and churning with flecks of orange and magenta, and I followed the straight bridge of his nose to his slightly parted lips. Although they were thin they looked so supple and the firelight further highlighted their pleasant shape, and the longer I stared at them the more I was filled with a weird longing to know how they felt.

As soon as the desire surfaced, I furiously shut it down.

Why was I thinking about this _now_ , of all times?! After everything that had happened yesterday the thought of such an act should have repulsed me, but instead I found myself insatiably curious. I was yet to have my first kiss even though I was 21 but I wanted to make sure it was with someone special, and in fact up until a few months ago I'd wholeheartedly believed it would be with Hijikata.

So what was I doing even entertaining the thought of doing so with Kazama, especially so suddenly?

I was undoubtedly going _mad!_

Too busy giving myself a vicious internal scolding, I didn't realise that Kazama's focus had shifted.

And it was only after I'd finished inwardly yelling at myself that I realised he was looking at me.

I was so stricken with panic that I couldn't even close my eyes. I'd been so caught up in disciplining my wayward mind that I hadn't paid attention to what Kazama had been doing and it had been my carelessness that had resulted in getting caught. I wanted to roll over to get away from the heat in his gaze, to shut my eyes and pretend that he'd never noticed I was awake, but it was futile now.

He was looking right at me. Straight into my soul, like only he could.

Kazama refused to break eye contact for a really long time, none of us looking away, until he shifted on the grass almost awkwardly. 'Chizuru…' He said, soft enough that I barely heard it.

Even after he spoke I couldn't even blink or breathe. Hearing him say my name brought me back to my flashback and all the times he'd said it then, his voice filled with fondness and concern, and now it was mostly wary. He was still aware that I was in shock from learning about our engagement and he didn't want to push his luck, but in this situation he couldn't just ignore me.

Kazama's claret eyes blazed in the firelight, trapping me in their splendour. 'If you cannot sleep, then sit with me.' He offered, giving no indication as to how long he'd known I'd been staring at him for. It was likely he'd been aware of my consciousness for many minutes before he'd actually looked at me as that was normally the case when I stared at him, and I kicked myself for being so lax.

When he placed his hand on the grass beside him, I knew it was an invite to join him.

I didn't know what to do.

I couldn't say I particularly wanted to go over to him but I also didn't want to ignore him either. My brain was telling me to be angry and defiant but my heart was begging for me to forgive him, and I didn't know what one to listen to. I wasn't sure if I was ready to talk but some part of me couldn't bear the silence anymore.

Before I could finish deliberating, Kazama hesitantly drew his hand back into his lap. 'You don't have to talk if you don't want to, Chizuru. But come and sit with me. Please.' He sighed, lowering his eyes slightly as if it caused him physical pain to say the word.

In the seconds he'd been talking to me, he'd already done several things that on any other occasion he wouldn't dare to. Using manners was one of them, and averting his eyes and employing a semi-begging tone were two others. I couldn't tell if he was desperate to obtain my pardon for his own reasons or if he was actually sorry about what he'd done, but there was something so gratifying in hearing someone like Kazama say please. The word sounded particularly sweet coming from his lips.

So before I'd even given my body permission, it had lifted itself out of my futon.

I sat there in the midst of my bedding for a few more long seconds, partly confused on why I was even doing as he'd asked, before I shakily got to my feet. Kazama said nothing as I pulled up one of my blankets and wrapped it around myself before making way over to him but I didn't sit where he'd gestured to; instead I took my place a few metres to his left, just out of arms reach if he decided at some point during the night that he wanted to touch me.

Sinking into immediate silence, I stared vacantly into the neon flames of the firepit. It was strange to be sitting with him in the middle of the night and even though Shiranui and Amagiri were here it still felt like we were alone. It may have been due to the silence or even the way his presence blocked everything else out, but either way I wasn't sure what to do.

I wasn't even sure _he_ knew what to do. Maybe he hadn't expected I would even agree to sit with him.

But after staring at me vacuously for a moment, he finally put an end to the quietude. 'Listen, Chizuru…' He began, my stomach doing flips at how he'd said my name. 'I know your trust towards me has probably already been severed, but I want you to know that it was never my intention to cause you this much distress. From now on I will answer any and all of your questions with honesty as I do not wish to lose your trust entirely, and please know that my remorse is genuine. Truly it was… cowardly of me to keep this from you.'

My breath caught in my throat.

Of all the words in existence Kazama detested the word coward the most. Even using the term in reference to himself or his own behaviour and combining it with an apology was just so unlike him that I couldn't help but take a look at his face to see what kind of expression he was making.

He appeared unimpressed, as expected, but underneath the sourness of his demeanour I sensed a humility that I'd never seen before. It was evident that his regret over what had happened was indeed sincere and it soothed me more than I thought it would to have solid proof of his contrition.

At least now I knew he was authentically repentant, not because of what the situation had done to him but what it had done to me.

Wrapping my blanket tighter around my shoulders, I decided I didn't want to stay silent anymore. Not only did I believe his apology deserved at least an acknowledgement but it pained me for him and I to be stuck in this muteness after how we usually were: playful and impish, and just a little bit complicated. Although he'd certainly deserved the silent treatment I didn't want to put us both through it any longer.

So pushing a strand of hair behind my hair, I took in a small breath. 'I… accept your apology, Kazama-san.' I murmured, looking at him for just long enough to see his reaction.

Not even he could contain the flash of relief in his eyes, but he quelled it hastily. I wasn't normally good at reading people's facial expressions but even I could see how reassured he was to hear me speak again and I had to admit it had lightened the mood as well. Even though I was the one who'd originally enforced the silence I couldn't deny it was nice to get rid of it.

Kazama inclined his head, his eyes burning brighter now. 'And that is all I ask for.' He said simply yet earnestly, his fingers reaching down to start picking at the grass as he usually did while seated.

After that neither of us spoke, but this time the silence was calm. Although I had indeed accepted his apology that didn't mean I wasn't still frustrated or sad, but it meant that I was no longer doubtful of whether or not he was actually sorry for what he'd done. Knowing he was truly apologetic just meant that it would be easier to eventually forgive him and I hoped that now we could work on repatching our relationship even though it was evident we couldn't go back to how it was a few days ago.

So what _would_ we become?

Maybe we would always have this awkwardness between us, or maybe over time we would be able to sort things out. There wasn't much time left until the journey was over so if we were going to repair our connection then it would have to be soon, because now that we'd passed Yamamura we had less than a month of travel left. Originally Kazama had predicted it would take us 4 months in total to get from Kyoto to Aomori and as of now we'd been travelling for a week shy of 3 months, but on the day that we had arrived at Yamamura Hanami had foretold we would reach Aomori 2 weeks earlier than planned.

That meant we were only about 3 weeks away.

Thinking of it like that immediately caused my insides to knot.

 _We only had 3 weeks left? Already…?_

We weren't guaranteed to acquire a boat as soon as we reached Aomori but the possibility was certainly there. After we found a boat then it would only take one single night to reach the shores of Ezo and then we would be stepping onto the beach at dawn, and from there it might only be a few hours until I found the Shinsengumi. I couldn't believe that after all these months of travel we were finally drawing close to our destination and that in a month's time I might be travelling back to Kyoto with them, with Hijikata by my side.

And what would Kazama do?

He'd already told me that he was planning on returning to his village for a while, which was understandable considering how long he'd been away for. I could feel in my heart though that even if I _did_ choose him then I wouldn't be able to follow him straight after the journey, as I'd want to spend some time with the Shinsengumi and see Sen again in Kyoto. But was that really an issue though, considering how he'd also promised to remain in the human world with me if I chose him? It still shocked me how lenient he could be with such things as I'd always assumed he would give me no choice in where we lived, even in the short term.

But before any of that occurred I would need to make my decision.

Hijikata or Kazama.

Would I even be able to decide at the end of the journey? Would I actually _have_ to?

It was times like this where I would have died to talk with Sen. Even though she currently had no idea about my feelings for Kazama and would _kill_ me when she found out, she would be able to provide me with advice on what I should do. She would likely present me with the pros and cons of either man, probably more cons than pros for Kazama out of distaste, but at the end of the day her counsel would aid me in making the right decision.

But still… the thought of choosing either was just too painful.

Leaving Kazama would break my heart, especially given our shared past, and I knew that even though I wasn't sure if I loved him yet the choice to let him go would be crushing. He may have been crass and obtuse sometimes, and at the moment I was still quite angry with him, but he really was a good man, a caring man, and I'd been able to see that for a long time. Plus, something just seemed so… _right_ with him.

But on the other hand, if I had to part from Hijikata…

I didn't think I would be able to function for weeks. I'd loved him for too long that I'd kind of just accepted he would always have a place in my heart, and after years of yearning for him it was insane to think that I would even consider choosing another man. He'd always been there to protect me, always been there to support me, and although he hadn't explicitly reciprocated my feelings I liked to think he loved me too.

But there was always the possibility that he didn't.

Resisting the urge to put my head in my hands, I closed my eyes and tried to seize my despondent thoughts. I didn't want to think about this right now, not when all this _other_ stuff was going on. Not when Kazama was sitting just metres away from me analysing my expression as if he could read my every thought and desire.

When I gave him a brief glance, he was looking at me as anticipated. His eyes were placid yet calculating almost as if he was trying hard to figure out how I felt, and given his past success in doing so I knew it was only a matter of time before he unravelled my emotions. I didn't want him to figure out anything to do with how I felt about him or my romantic inner dilemma and I was just as determined as ever not to give him any clues that could help him detect my feelings for him. I was hell-bent on ensuring he never found out, even when we reached Ezo.

Mulling over anything and everything I could to redirect his attention, I decided to ask one of the questions that had been in my mind since yesterday. He'd promised during his apology to answer any and all of my queries with total honesty so now was a good time to find out what I wanted to know, even though more truths may yet make me even more confused.

Looking down at the grass, I prepared myself to address him. 'Kazama-san, can I ask you a question?' I murmured, watching the flames in the fire lap at the wood like orange tongues.

The heat in Kazama's eyes was just as fiery as he brushed the dirt off his finger then placed his hands in his lap. 'Of course. Ask what you wish.' He invited, but I could see in his countenance that he was unsettled by what question I would pose. His jaw had tightened, his body was rigid, and it further proved that Kazama was not the sort of person who enjoyed suspense.

Sparing him from his discomfort, I finally spoke. 'Why did you not mention our engagement when I was in Kyoto?' I asked, my voice hoarse with fear of what he would say. If he had have told me about everything all those years ago then would it have been worse or better than it was hearing it now? How would I have felt knowing that my enemy was someone I'd once cared deeply for as a child?

Kazama raised an eyebrow at me, answering my question with another question. 'Would you have believed me?' He asked, his response short but blunt.

He had a point. I wouldn't have taken to such information lightly, I knew that, and maybe it would actually have been worse to hear it from him then. Even though telling me at the start would have been chivalrous it also would have scared me because at that point in time I'd been petrified of him. Although I felt extra betrayed now because he'd hidden it for so long it was probably better for us both that we'd become amicable before such an intimate secret had been exposed.

Deciding my silence was enough of an answer, I changed the subject. 'Where is your engagement token, the pendant that I gave you during the betrothal ceremony? Do you still have it?' I asked, not game enough to look into his eyes even though he was looking at mine.

Understanding he wasn't going to get a response for his previous question, he continued to cooperate. 'Yes, it's in my estate. After it stopped beating I took it off and never put it on again, and it's currently in a locked drawer in my bedroom.' He said quietly, tossing a blade of grass into the fire. I watched it sizzle and burn then peered down to see my own token, but of course I had not yet put it on again. 'Is… is it still in effect?' I mumbled, staring down at my bare wrist as I awaited the answer.

I didn't know how I would react if he told me that we were still technically engaged because then I wouldn't know what to do. I doubted he would force us to get married as not only had he expressed his desire for our marriage to be totally consensual, but Sen would have his head.

I could see the fire dancing in his eyes as he responded. 'Our engagement was cancelled upon news of your death, but our tokens would still beat if we wore them again.' He explained, reaching over to stoke the fire with the stick beside him. Little orange sparks rose into the air like fireflies, and my throat grew tight as it reminded me of our first date in Kyoto when we'd watched the release of the lanterns together.

Pushing that memory from my mind, I redirected my focus back to him. 'I see… well, you said that Kodo took my bracelet from me when he wiped my memories, but if that was the case then how did I get it back again? I can't remember ever having it taken off me.' I insisted, keeping my voice low so as to not disturb the other two onis while they slept, and Kazama pressed his lips together as if the very mention of Kodo made his skin crawl. 'I believe you found it by accident one day and requested to keep it, so he gave it to you as he believed there was no danger of you regaining your memories. He also knew I wouldn't dare put on my pendant again so there was no risk of yours starting to beat.' He sighed, running his hands through his hair.

I nodded slowly as I processed the information, finding it irresistible to ponder how different things would have been if just once he'd put his pendant back on. He would have instantly known I was alive and he would have come to find me, and it went without saying that things could have turned out a lot differently than they had. I understood why he hadn't put it on again of course, because he'd believed I was dead… but if he'd figured out I was alive and come for me sooner then he might have already taken me out of the human world.

I didn't understand why some part of me wished he had.

Picking at a loose string on my blanket, I continued the discussion. 'So… why was the betrothal ceremony held when I was 6? That's pretty young to be engaged, especially to someone…someone… so old.' I mumbled, trailing off as he lifted his eyes from the fire to my face, maybe irked that I'd called him old.

Kazama's mesmerising gaze ensnared me the moment I made the error of looking at him. 'That is generally the minimal age at which betrothal ceremonies occur as the child is old enough to understand the basics of what's going on. Yes, I am much older than you but we would not have married until you were 16 anyway as the ceremony was just to solidify our eventual union.' He clarified, his eyes sailing warily over my face as if he was searching for signs of repulsion or panic at being reminded we were actually intended to marry.

Hearing it come so casually from him made my mouth go dry, and I wondered how he could talk about this so easily. 'Oh…' I mumbled, licking my desiccate lips. 'So did you go through this ceremony with… with…?'

I couldn't finish the sentence. For some reason I couldn't bring myself to mention my mother, knowing that she had been engaged to Kazama before me. I still didn't know if they courted before their engagement or if they'd had feelings for each other, nor did I know if my discomfort about that stemmed from how she'd been my mother, or something a little less savoury… like jealousy. I refused to believe I was petty enough to be envious over something like that.

In fact, I refused to believe I was petty enough to be envious at _all_. Why did I even care after yesterday anyway?

Kazama cocked his head to one side, but it didn't take him long to realise why I had stopped. 'Your mother?' He offered, raising an eyebrow. 'No, we did not go through a betrothal ceremony. Betrothal ceremonies are only practiced when a marriage is an arranged one, but your mother and I agreed to be wed of our own free will in order to further our pureblood lineage. All I needed to do to officiate my proposal was give her my clan's ordinary item of engagement; a duplicate of my neck band.' He elucidated, regarding my face precariously.

I was oddly pleased at his admittance that they hadn't been in love, and my shoulders slackened soon after. I couldn't believe I'd been jealous in the first place because I shouldn't have cared about Kazama's love life or who he'd been engaged to as it was none of my business, and it certainly wasn't high up on my list of things that I should be worrying about given the events of the past day.

Acknowledging his answer with a nod, I tried not to come across as too relieved. 'I see. I can't believe I didn't know, though, about you… and her. Osen-chan told me about the story of how my parents met but she didn't mention your involvement, but she probably knew all along. About your engagement to my mother, and your engagement to me… and everything. She even asked about my bracelet too like she didn't know.' I sighed, recalling our discussions before I'd left for Ezo. As we'd sat under the tree in her garden she'd told me the story of how my parents met and before that she'd asked me where I'd gotten my bracelet from.

Her words still rang in my head.

 _Maybe you'll see him again one day…_

It was hurtful to reflect back on that occasion and realise she already knew about everything. I'd been lied to about my species, my family, my past and my engagement, and I couldn't think of a single person I'd encountered in my life who'd been completely honest. Even the Shinsengumi had concealed the reason for their interest in my father when I'd first been brought to their doorstep, as not only had they guarded it from my knowledge but they'd used me for information about him too.

Even with my head lowered, I could sense Kazama's culpability. He didn't say anything but I could feel his guilt about becoming yet another person on the long list of people who had kept secrets from me. It was possible he had guarded the worst secret of all, apart from maybe how Sen had hidden the fact I had a _family_ , but even after the questions I'd asked there was still so much left to uncover.

For example, like what had occurred after I'd brought him back from the dead.

Sighing once more, I turned my awareness back to Kazama. 'I want to know more about what happened after I woke up from resurrecting you. What exactly were you told about why I was sick?' I asked, barely managing to look him in the eye.

Kazama sighed weightily, eyes shifting between the burning wood and my blank face. 'I was told you'd caught a rare disease, a serious one that your father hadn't come across yet and couldn't heal. When I awoke the morning after you resurrected me Kobaru was already there and he told me how he'd 'saved my life' and how you'd fallen ill and was currently unconscious. If they had have been honest they would have been risking your life because if word ever reached the rancours that the pureblood princess of the Yukimura clan had succeeded in raising the dead then that would have made you a prime target for capture. They lied to protect you.' He claimed, peering up from the fire to inspect my expression.

The story made sense, as I already knew my parents had wanted to protect me from the rancours. I'd learned from Kazama already that sometimes they would kidnap purebloods and use them as ongoing sources of blood, and what better captive would there have been than a 7 year old girl who hadn't learned how to use her powers yet. At that age I would have been incapable of defending myself and therefore would have served as the perfect prisoner; low risk and low maintenance. Maybe my parents had done the right thing in lying after all.

Fiddling nervously with my hands, I kept my voice low. 'Didn't you suspect that they were lying to you though? Even once?' I probed, curious as to how someone like Kazama could miss a lie.

His lips pursed ever so slightly, maybe defensively, as if I was questioning his intelligence. 'I had no reason to believe they were lying. Their story made sense and above all I trusted your father, and I knew of all people Kobaru would have been capable of summoning enough power for such a feat; that's why I'd been taken to him in the first place. Although I found it odd that your father was so spritely after such an act not once did it cross my mind that it was actually you who had saved me, as you had not even learned to use your lesser abilities yet let alone anything resembling necromancy. Maybe if you had have been older I would have found it more suspicious… but 7? Impossible.' He scoffed, reminding me of his disbelief like he had all those weeks ago when I'd first told him it was me.

I turned away from him for a moment, registering what I'd been told. It made sense now why he'd been so gullible, if that was the right word, because if my father's excuse had made sense and Kazama had trusted him then he would have been more likely to believe it. Although in a way my father had betrayed Kazama by lying, the consequences of the truth could have put me in danger and possibly my whole clan too so I was certain that he didn't hold any hard feelings.

But there was still one thing left I didn't understand.

The whole situation had been brought on by one thing; the injury he'd received. Even after all this time I had no idea who'd inflicted it or for what reason, and it was one of the most pressing questions I had at the moment. I'd doubted it had been an accident during training and I was sceptical that it was dealt by a human, so did that mean he'd been stabbed by an oni? Was he betrayed by one of his own?

Taking a quick peek at Kazama's blank face, I parted my lips to speak. 'I want to know one last thing, Kazama-san, about why you had a stab wound and who managed to injure you so badly. It was a miracle you lasted for as long as you…did.' I stated, unexpectedly choking on the last word as my throat swelled up with emotion. I closed my eyes to seal away the memories of his lifeless body lying underneath me but it only made them more prominent, and for a second I swore I could feel the heat of his blood coating my hands.

When I eventually opened my eyes, the look I saw on Kazama's face was… _haunting_.

I couldn't guess why my inquiry had caused him to shut down right in front of my eyes, but it was almost as if he was having flashbacks of his own. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to know the answer to a question that had caused someone like Kazama to produce such a morbid reaction but I knew I couldn't go on any longer without knowing, even if I felt guilty making him respond to something which seemed to cause him pain.

Tearing yet another blade of grass from the soil, he threw it almost vindictively into the fire. 'He was the son of the rancour leader who orchestrated the slaughter of your village.' He said, his voice seemingly devoid of all emotion.

A sickening feeling spread throughout my gut.

Had the son been at the actual massacre? Had he killed my people and those I cared about? I found it terrifying that someone who was obviously a human could overwhelm and almost kill an oni as powerful as Kazama, even though he'd undoubtedly been using a tonic. Kazama had explained a while ago that rancours used blood to create potions which gave them the lesser abilities of an oni, and the stronger the oni blood the stronger the effects.

Kazama didn't even look at me as he spoke, but perhaps it was because he couldn't. 'His name was Shao and his father was Jiro. It was Shao who resulted in the death of my parents after tracking them down on their way to Hebimura to visit my sister after she'd given birth. He used poisoned arrows coated with the same toxin that was used to disarm your people's oni powers, taking them by surprise and then finishing them off as soon as the poison had taken effect. Armed with the powers of a pureblood oni my parents stood no chance against him and once they were dead he left their bodies for us to find a few weeks later. It took me years to hunt him down, as rancours keep themselves exceptionally well-hidden, and when I finally did…'

He paused there, and I quivered at the uncontained wrath and grief boiling just behind the surface of his skin. The wind picked up and loosened a handful of dead leaves from the trees above us, and as they separated from the branches and fell to the ground I noticed they looked like tears.

Kazama unclenched his fists and let the blood return to his white knuckles, but I could see in his eyes that he was still revolted. 'When I finally found him during one of his missions I put an end to his miserable life, but he also dealt a lethal blow to me. The only reason I survived was because I was able to draw enough energy from the sunlight to keep me conscious, but I still couldn't move, talk or use any other abilities. For almost 3 days I lay in my own blood waiting for someone to find me and when I was finally discovered by my uncle I was taken directly to your village.' He concluded, signalling the end of his account.

I felt sick in the stomach.

As a child I'd known that Kazama's parents had died but the story was more horrendous than I could have fathomed. The way he'd said their bodies had been left for them to find was beyond abhorrent and to see that horror in Kazama's eyes as well made me feel a myriad of things ranging from anger, sadness and compassion. I was grateful that he'd shared something so personal with me but I was regretful that the answer had been so morose.

I lowered my gaze to my lap, feeling penitent for reminding him of such a story. 'I'm sorry.' Was all I could offer him.

Kazama just stared into the firepit as I expressed my empathy, the flames twitching as if they too shared in his anger and mourning. The shadows under his eyes had grown even more prominent and even their crimson glow had dulled, and I grew more unsettled as I realised had seldom seen such an expression on Kazama's face. Even as the minutes passed by I waited for him to bring his wall up again, to hide his emotions, but he didn't. I could see the anguish in his eyes and maybe some shame too at being unable to hide it from me.

Finally I decided I couldn't stand to see that look on his face anymore.

Standing up before I could change my mind, I brushed the grass off my blanket and made my way over to him.

He peered up at me curiously, the sorrow leaving him fleetingly as he pondered what I was doing, but he didn't speak even as I came to sit beside him. I knew from experience that it didn't matter what someone said in this kind of situation because it could never soothe the suffering and agony from knowing your parents had perished, so I wanted to show him I that I knew how it felt. I wanted to show him that I cared, even after yesterday.

And so I tentatively took his hand into mine, threading our fingers together.

My cheeks were blazing as I waited for him to react, and for a second I thought he wasn't going to reciprocate at all. I was embarrassed, it was true, but I was willing to put that aside even for just a few minutes in order to offer him the comfort that I myself had craved all those times I'd struggled with the death of my parents, Kodo, and my brother. So many times I'd had to suffer alone in my grief, knowing that no one else really understood the pain.

Finally, Kazama's hand tightened around mine.

My face only grew hotter when he pulled me tighter against his side just like he'd done in my flashback, and my reaction to allow him to do so was almost innate. We fit so well against each other that it seemed like our bodies had originally been one in the first place and now we were finally coming back together again.

There was no discourse as we stared into the fire, but regardless of the silence there was still a discussion occurring through our body language. In my touch he could sense my concern for him and in return I'd picked up on his appreciation for my empathy, and so strangely comfortable was the peace that none of us dared interrupt it. My brain was giving me a harsh rebuking for letting down my guard so easily after all the secrets he'd kept from me but my heart was relieved at this show of affection, and it was beating so fervently that I swore I could feel the vibrations in the air.

Suddenly Kazama lifted his spare hand almost cautiously to my face, lingering just above the skin as if he was waiting for permission.

I froze as our eyes met, unsure if I should allow him to touch me when I was still so angry, but I couldn't bring myself to slap him away or send him a punishing glare. I could feel the heat of his hand on my face even though he hadn't yet pressed it to my cheek and despite the emotions raging inside me, including my pain and sense of betrayal, my heart was imploring him to do it.

And when I gave no refusal, he cautiously closed the distance.

As soon as he established the contact I felt goosebumps emerge on every inch of my body. I kept my eyes closed because I knew if I opened them I'd be drawn into his crimson gaze, so instead I stayed in the blind darkness and clutched onto the last scraps of sanity I had lest I give into him entirely. His soothing strokes combined with the heat of the fire and my own escalating fatigue was making it hard for me to stay alert let alone conscious.

It was as if Kazama knew this too because he abruptly ceased his caresses. 'I appreciate your compassion, Chizuru, but you should return to bed. We've got a long way to travel tomorrow and I can see that you're tired.' He noted mildly, echoing the scene in my flashback of when he'd tried to make me rest then too.

And surprisingly, my disinclination to part from him now was just as strong as it had been then.

Wincing at the force of my reluctance, I said nothing. I wasn't so bold as to beg him to stay but I also didn't have enough willpower to do as he'd asked. Instead I was trapped motionless by his side, unwilling to go either way and wondering why I was so desperate to be by his side even though I still felt disappointed in him and the secrets he'd denied me of.

Kazama waited patiently for me to move but when I didn't his gaze became even more intense. 'If you wish to sleep against me though then I won't object.' He added.

I peered up at his face, for once having no idea if he was being serious or sarcastic. His countenance was stoic and unsmiling but in his eyes I could see traces of something light-hearted. Not sarcasm perse, but something close to… curiosity. He was testing the water.

I frowned, blushing despite myself. 'I'll…I'll sleep in my futon.' I muttered, but I couldn't bring myself to let him go.

The truth was I would have liked to stay against him but my pride was getting in the way, as it always was. Why was it so hard for me to give in anyway? Was it because I didn't want to, or was it just due to my obstinacy? I didn't understand why it was so difficult for me to just tell him what I wanted. I _wanted_ to stay against him and I _wanted_ to have him stay with me, but every time I thought of voicing my true desires something else came out of my mouth.

Kazama ran his thumb over mine as he'd done so many times in the past, making me shudder. 'In that case, that's where you should go. And I appreciate your acceptance of my apology tonight as I understand it wouldn't have been easy.' He remarked, dropping his hand from my face to rest on his knee.

At the loss of one of his hands I struggled not to pout, but thankfully he hadn't yet pulled his other out of mine. All I could do was nod in acknowledgement of his gratitude and pray that he would somehow magically know that I wasn't ready to part from him yet. I'd already established that I was too weak to ask for him to sit here with me and if by some miracle he picked up on that and permitted me to remain then I would seize the opportunity, no doubt feigning inconvenience to mask my desperation.

But he didn't notice it.

He unclasped our fingers and retracted his hand, preparing himself to stand.

 _Dammit_.

I grit my teeth and tried so hard to suck up my pride for just this once, to tell him that I wanted to talk or sit or _anything_ just for a while longer, but the pressure was starting to gnaw at my courage. Displaying any sign of surrender to him was nigh on excruciating and that proved that we were more similar than I'd thought as we both valued our egos, although my hesitancy also originated from his disloyalty.

When he finally made his move to stand, something inside of me snapped.

'Wait!' I said, much louder than I'd intended.

Amagiri and Shiranui stirred in their futons, a few birds shifted in the trees above us, and if Kazama had have been any other person he would have jumped at my sudden outburst.

I immediately went red as he stared at me with widened eyes, and I had to look away even as he regained composure. 'I don't want to go to bed yet so… I don't mind sitting here with you for a bit longer.' I managed to articulate although with intense difficulty. It had taken all of my concentration not to splutter or stammer but underneath the torturous humiliation was a sense of relief as I couldn't believe I'd actually done it, even if I'd woken up half of Japan in the process.

Kazama's astonishment dissolved almost instantaneously and he raised a perfect blonde eyebrow. 'Is that so?' He inquired, prolonging my agony by asking me to confirm it.

I nodded, my cheeks waning between pale and rosey as if I didn't know whether to feel terrified or embarrassed.

At my verification, Kazama settled down fully beside me. Normally such a request would have left him incredibly haughty but in this instance I perceived a range of emotions from confusion to satisfaction. Maybe he'd put a lid on all of the things he knew would irk me such as smugness and arrogance because he was already walking on thin glass, but I at least expected him to talk, chuckle or smirk.

But he did none of those things.

Instead he held out his hand, inviting me to take it once again.

I stared at it blankly in panic, uncertain if I could yield twice in a row. I'd already summoned the courage to ask him to stay and now that I was faced with the decision to take his hand it had me wondering if this was a good idea after all. I was entering dangerous territory by letting myself submit to what I wanted. If I gave in again then would I be more likely to do so in the future? And if that was true then where would it stop?

But regardless of my worries, before I knew it I was slipping my fingers through his.

Kazama made no outward attempt to display his pleasure but even he was having trouble hiding it now. I rapidly looked away from him and back at the fire, aware his eyes were still on me, but now that I couldn't see his face I didn't feel so overwhelmed. It was rather pathetic that asking Kazama to stay was such a big deal even after travelling with him for close to 3 months but his personality and my mulishness made it challenging to concede.

But grasping his hand a second time, it felt… good.

Not just his skin, but the act of submission. Well, it wasn't so much submission but… being true to myself and what I wanted. Even though what I'd asked for was simple it had been so painful to request of him, but now that I had I was filled with an undeniable sense of serenity. He'd told me so many times that I'd be happier if I was more honest with myself and unfortunately I realised now that he'd been correct. Until now I hadn't understood how much internal tension I'd caused by refusing to go after what I wanted.

Biting my lip as I pondered that notion, it actually scared me. Now that I'd had a small taste of how it felt to be more open with myself I was afraid that I would do it again and again and eventually start to surrender more of myself to him. Tonight I'd only asked him to stay and hold my hand, but what about tomorrow? What about 3 weeks into the future when we arrived in Aomori? I was undeniably insane to not only entertain the thought of anything occurring between us but to think about it _now_ of all times after what had happened yesterday.

I was _angry_ with him, so why was I suddenly starting to feel like this? Was it my 7 year old self's feelings reminding me that Kazama and I were actually intended to become man and wife? Or did it just mean my infatuation towards him was deepening?

Kazama was still watching me as I fought my internal battle, silently and expressionlessly. It was evident that my request for him to stay had pleased him but he was hiding his satisfaction in order to not scare me away. On any other occasion he would be sporting the biggest, most infuriating smirk and teasing me about how I was 'finally coming around to him' or that I'd realised I 'wanted to become his wife', so right now I was glad for his lack of boasting.

But his silence did not last for long.

Waiting until my blush had faded somewhat, he refused to take his eyes off me. 'Our journey is almost over, Chizuru.' He announced without warning, his tone almost airy.

I just had to look up at him after that statement, wondering what he meant by it, and when I did I saw his beautiful eyes glowing in the low light. I couldn't work out if he'd intended for the declaration to be a reminder of the inevitable or perhaps an articulation of displeasure, like he was disappointed it was coming to an end, but I couldn't find the answer in his expression. All I could see were his fiery eyes, burning so brightly they tinged his eyelashes with red.

Kazama then looked away from me, already aware that I wasn't going to react verbally. 'I advise that you prepare yourself now for what you may encounter in Ezo, as it's not looking favourable for your friends. The war has already been more or less lost and they are likely already laying amongst the countless dead, so it would be wise for you to start thinking about what you will do if this fate be true.' He advised coolly, neither cruel nor sympathetic.

As usual he'd addressed the issue in a manner which assumed their death, but I noticed that he hadn't been harsh about it like he had many times in the past. That didn't mean he'd intended for it to come across as concerned but in his tone I'd detected he was conscious of my feelings and how I would take the news. He was genuinely trying to help by encouraging me not to be too optimistic, because if I had have reached Ezo in hope that the Shinsengumi were alive and they in fact weren't then I would have been beyond devastated.

But of course, he didn't know that Hanami had foretold their safety.

Sitting there in silence, I wasn't sure if I should tell him. I knew he would be dissatisfied about their survival but if I kept something like this from him then did that make me a hypocrite? After all, I'd just given him the cold shoulder about guarding important information from other people and I knew if he found out I'd known about the Shinsengumi survival for all that time then he would probably be angry and disappointed in me too. The truth was likely to put him in a bad mood, but I didn't want to do the same to him as he'd done to me.

Sighing as I turned to him, I gave him a rueful look. 'Well actually… Kazama-san, I talked to Hanami-sama about the Shinsengumi in Yamamura.' I revealed, guilty averting my eyes for a millisecond.

That immediately piqued his interest. He cocked his head to one side and narrowed his eyes slightly, already started to guess what my admittance might mean. The narrower his eyes got the more I started to question whether he had managed to pick up on what I meant but I wanted to explain the full story before he started to interrogate me himself.

I used a hand to pull the blanket higher up over my shoulders, protecting me from the chill in the air. 'She told me they would be alive when I reached Ezo, all of them. Even… Hijikata-san.' I murmured, finally unable to bare the eye contact anymore. At the mere mention of Hijikata's name I saw Kazama's eyes grow dark, resentful… and maybe even jealous.

His discontentment really wasn't a surprise but it proved to me that he still held ill wishes towards my friends. Whether he'd hoped for their death out of hatred or jealously I probably would never know, but it wasn't difficult to see that he was not pleased to hear what was good news to me. Quite frankly I held no pity for him because it was horrible to wish death upon someone else but it had stopped affecting me in the way that it had because I was aware Kazama hated humans, especially ones close to me. He needed to pay more attention to _our_ relationship rather than my relationship with everybody else.

After a brief period of reticence, Kazama picked up the stick beside him to stoke the fire. He did so haphazardly as if he was only doing it to distract himself from his emotions, violently prodding at the flaming logs, and then tossed the whole stick onto the embers.

I watched it burn to ashes, possibly symbolic of how he was feeling right now.

Before I could grow too sour about his unenthused reaction, Kazama sighed lengthily. 'I suppose it's not _completely_ undesirable.' He said out of the blue, tilting his head to behold me. 'At least this way I know you will choose me because you want to, and not because I was the only option left. His survival just means he gets to see my victory.' He assumed, a bold statement to make given our own relationship was currently in limbo. I was stunned he could still be so sure I would choose him even after yesterday and everything else he'd done.

Kazama detected my irritation at his confidence, and he thread our fingers tighter together. 'And besides, even though I'm not particularly thrilled to hear of their survival it means you will not have to suffer through any grief, as seeing you distraught was not something I was looking forward to. The sight of your tears has always discomfited me.' He added lightly, raising my hand up to kiss it softly.

When he dropped my hand from his mouth, I couldn't prevent a blush from colouring my cheeks.

I didn't know what to say in response. I hadn't been expecting him to admit in any way that he was relieved of their survival so his confession had left me quite bewildered, even if he was glad for my sake and not theirs. There was once a time where he would have taunted me about their deaths even though he knew it would cause me pain, but now he'd told me it would afflict him to see my grief had they have passed away. Truly I would have been inconsolable for weeks, and he knew that.

And when I felt his hand on my cheek for the second time, I pondered if there was more to his concern for me than he let on.

He caressed my face just as softly as he had before, his skin smooth and appeasing. He was so gentle as his fingertips traced the edges of my cheekbones and not once did it occur to me to swat his hand away or complain like I usually would have done. His eyes were blazing, capturing me effortlessly in their fierce heat, and my thoughts grew heavy as his ministrations made it harder to both stay awake and maintain my self-control.

Kazama's eyes flickered down to my lips for a second, but he didn't act on what he desired. Instead he presented a request that I hadn't expected to come so overtly, a request that made my heart skip a beat.

'Come with me after Ezo, Chizuru.' He entreated.

His words shattered the spell he'd cast over my mind, and I blinked a few times as the heat rushed to my face. I'd always known that's what he'd wanted me to do but I'd never heard him say it so explicitly and with so much longing behind it. Even though it had come across as a command I'd sensed that it had been more of an appeal, an appeal which even _he_ knew I wasn't ready for.

I lowered my eyes to preserve my wit, shaking my head. 'Kazama-san… you know I can't do that. Not after finding them after all these months. I wish to return to Kyoto after Ezo to spend time with them and see Sen, too… I even told you that in Yamamura.' I murmured, almost guiltily.

He didn't speak for a long time, nor did he move, and I tried desperately to work out how my 'rejection' had affected him. Had I hurt him? Angered him? Maybe he didn't feel anything at all, because he must have known that would be my answer anyway.

But eventually he sighed, his fingers still on my face. 'Then I suppose that means I will have to come collect you from Kyoto after I've visited my clan. And that's where I will stay until you are ready to come with me.'

I really didn't have a reply to that. I didn't think it warranted one either because it wouldn't be up for negotiation. He would follow me to the ends of the earth and back again in order to win me over and there was once a time where this would have frustrated me beyond all reason. In the past it used to anger me how determined he was because I'd just wanted to spend my days with Hijikata without his meddling and all his unwanted advancements, and even though his stubbornness was annoying I also appreciated it too. It meant he was serious about me, but for what reason I still didn't know.

The only issue was if I really did end up choosing Hijikata then getting rid of Kazama would be _impossible_.

I swallowed, my throat growing dry as I prepared myself to ask a question I'd always wanted to know. 'And what if… what if I don't want to go with you?' I posed, my voice small and weak. If I did choose Hijikata then it wouldn't matter what he said about refusing to let me go because if I decided once and for all on another man then there would be no changing my mind.

Kazama's brows came together for a fleeting moment, but they smoothed instantly. 'Then it will be evident to me that you still don't understand the consequences of choosing a human and I will not cease to rest until you do. I pray that you will come to your senses before such a thing occurs, however. I've already lost you once and I don't plan on doing so again.' He sighed, lips tight in reaction to my question but his tone was reasonably mild.

His last sentence caught me off guard.

I hadn't even thought about how he'd felt upon hearing my clan's demise all those years ago. Had he been upset at finding out I'd perished? Had it haunted him for all this time and plagued him with guilt? It wasn't his fault in the slightest, but had he blamed himself for not being there?

I too had lost him that day, had my memories stolen and my past torn from me, and now that I'd finally found him I shouldn't have wanted to let go of him either. But it was more complicated than that, and I doubted my decision to choose between him and Hijikata would grow any easier as time went on. The pressure may just end up consuming me entirely.

Sitting side by side with our hands intertwined, many minutes passed without conversation.

It was strange to think we only had 3 weeks left before we were parted once more; 3 weeks left until we could no longer sit by the fire together or enjoy each other's company. Currently I couldn't enjoy this moment as much as I wanted to because of my conflicted feelings from yesterday but if by some miracle the truth of our engagement made our relationship stronger then his presence would be something I would really yearn for after the journey concluded. I'd grown accustomed to having him around all the time and I wondered if that meant I would miss him when I was in Kyoto.

 _Would_ I miss our time together?

It was a crazy thought, but probably a plausible one. We'd spent every second of every day together for the past 3 months and even though he'd driven me insane sometimes it proved that Kazama and I were able to coexist quite well. After the initial awkwardness at the start of the journey we had gotten along rather peacefully, apart from the odd issue, but overall he and I complemented each other in a weird, unusual way.

A way that no one, particularly myself, could have ever imagined.

With my thoughts growing slower the later it got, it didn't take long before my eyes began to feel heavy in spite of my efforts to stay awake.

I didn't want to waste this time together especially because I'd been the one to ask for it but it was becoming increasingly difficult to remain conscious with the heat of the fire and Kazama's warmth beside me. Exhausted from yesterday, both emotionally and physically, my brain was not happy that I'd decided to stay up and was ordering my body to shut down one system at a time.

When I started to sway from side to side, Kazama sighed. 'As honoured as I am that you asked to sit with me, it's time for you to go back to bed. Now that we are approaching the war it's important for you to keep well-rested as we are more bound to come across danger at some point, and we shall also resume your sword training and oni lessons soon as well. I believe it's time we move on from telepathy.' He ordered, brushing a loose strand of hair from my face.

I blushed at his show of affection, but not even my embarrassment could surpass my excitement. I was eager to resume my swordplay and oni lessons and I wanted to do so as soon as possible so I could get the most learning in before we reached Ezo, because when this was over he wouldn't be able to coach me anymore. Maybe Sen would be able to instruct me then.

As he stood up he pulled me up with him, his hand still holding mine tightly, but once I was on my feet he let me go.

Trying to mask my displeasure when he severed our contact, I peered at him meekly. 'Ok… well, goodnight Kazama-san.' I bid, attempting to predict who would be the first to retreat to their futon.

Kazama nodded once to acknowledge I'd spoken. 'Goodnight, Chizuru.' He said, lifting his hand to glide his thumb over my chin.

Just like all the other times the gesture flustered me, but all too soon he pulled away.

As he moved away from me to head back to his futon I did the same, pulling the blanket off my shoulders and laying down on my mattress. I tried not to watch as he pulled off his boots and got into his own bed but I couldn't help but send him a few side glances, intrigued by how everything he did was just so graceful and effortless. Even the way he arranged his blankets enthralled me.

Once again he faced away from me, his blanket pulled right up to his neck.

After tonight I knew that I wouldn't be able to stay angry. There was just something about him that made it impossible for me to hate him and I would just have to accept that eventually he would be forgiven, even though it might take some time to get over his betrayal completely. If there was one thing I'd learned tonight it was that whatever we were now, however far we'd come since the start of the journey, it was all irreversible. Even if I wanted to I couldn't go back to hating him like I had before we'd shared our first date in Kyoto.

That was long gone. That fear was long gone, and in lieu of that fear was fondness.

And my feelings were only intensifying.

How was it even possible that I could so readily give into him after yesterday? He'd spent years guarding the secret of our engagement and not even a day later I was dwelling on my infatuation like a lovesick teenager. Maybe it was because I knew he hadn't kept it from me out of spite or malice but because he'd believed it would be best for me. Although it had still been unfair I was able to see his reasoning even though it was flawed, but his apology earlier had been genuine at least.

However, I was still bubbling with vexation and hurt. I still had trouble looking at him and I wasn't sure my trust had repaired itself either, but it had started to ease now. Already my emotions were calming, becoming less turbulent, like ocean waves stilling after a storm.

Such was the curse of affection.

The curse he'd given to me.

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 **Ending note**

Hoped you all enjoyed that chapter :D By the way I will start putting my Instagram account at the end of each chapter because I often post art for this story there, but I'm sorry if it's gets too spammy :D I just don't want anyone to miss it, if they're interested in that stuff!

 **Instagram: fleurlilas_art**


	41. Strength of an oni

**Oh hey guys, long time no post :D I'm actually really sorry about my lack of posting but I've been seriously busy with work and study, and plus I've gone home for the holidays and I'm telling you its IMPOSSIBLE to write with family around. I have someone coming into my room every 3 seconds :D It's sooooo not good for concentration haha.**

 **Anyway thank you to Aonami96, Riri, Evy22, MissMinnie08, CattieBrie, Lakarae, .x, Cassiel, Nafeesa, xSapphirexRosesxFanx, fangirl, suzunee, Lyukya19, Lakarae, Mercy-chan, Athena1242, SakuraYukino, Oni princess and all the guests for their amazing reviews. I keep getting more and more each chapter! Thank you so much! xxoo**

 **Nafeesa** \- Hey, thanks for the review! To answer your questions, I suppose Kazama was doing whatever he wanted when he woke up. I didn't really plan that out because it's not really relevant to the plot haha: D and in my mind Kazama was able to see Chizuru whenever he wanted, he just wasn't allowed to know the truth about why she was 'ill'. Thank you so much for continuing to read and review my story!

 **xSapphirexRosesxFanx** \- Heeey! Thanks for your kind review :D I have some good and some bad news about the lemons. So the good news is YES THERE WILL BE LEMONS but not for a really long time because they're not even married yet haha. I will do their lemon scenes in another story separate from the main saga so it doesn't taint the innocence of this one haha. But the bad news is it's going to be a while before any lemons appear haha. Thanks for the review :D

 **Fangirl (Guest)-** Hello there, thanks for the review! I'll just answer your questions in numbered form haha :D

1\. Yes they will kiss eventually, a few times :D

2\. There will be another story when they wed (in fact there will be more than one story after this)

3\. There will be around 60 chapters for this story, give or take a few

4\. I update chapters whenever I have time but unfortunately I am studying and have a job so there's no set time between updates (just whenever I get around to writing).

5\. A twist… hmm. I'm unsure what you'd consider as a twist but there are certainly interesting things coming up, that's for sure :D

Thanks for reviewing!

 **Lyukya19** \- Salut, merci pour le review! T'inquiete pas que l'anglais n'est pas ta langue maternelle (meme que tu le parle super bien). Il y a quelque personnes qui laissent les reviews en francais et ca ne me derange pas parce que je parle le francais (yay)! Pour repondre a ta question, la raison pour la haine entre Kazama et Sen viendra plus tard. Dans l'anime on ne decouvert pas la raison pour leur haine et donc je dois l'inventer moi-meme :o merci pour lire mon histoire!

 **ALSO I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU ALL: Do you read Fanfiction through the website or through the app? On your mobile or computer? I'm just curious so leave a review with your answer! Don't be shy!**

* * *

 **Strength of an oni**

'Yo, Chizuru.' A loud voice called.

I groaned, rolling over in my futon and pulling the blanket up over my face.

At my resistance, Shiranui poked my arm light-heartedly. 'Oi, time to get up. It's already past dawn.' He said, tugging me further away from the comfort of my dreams with every word he spoke.

Groaning again and screwing up my face, I finally rolled onto my back. 'Ok… I'm awake.' I grumbled, turning my tired eyes to Shiranui who was crouching beside me. He smirked at how dishevelled I was before rising off the dirt to assume a standing position, shoving his hands into his pockets. 'It never gets any easier having to wake you, you know. I called your name 4 times.' He tittered, snickering at the blush that was starting to creep into my cheeks.

Once I had been released from his amused simpering, I looked past him at Amagiri. He had just finished kicking dirt over the ashes left by last night's campfire and as usual he looked well-rested and refreshed, the complete opposite of me. He was generally the one who woke me in the morning but sometimes Shiranui did so in his place if he was feeling like he wanted to start the day with some amusement.

I raised myself onto my elbows and blinked up at him, trying to fight a scowl. 'I'm just… tired today.' I mumbled, glancing back to observe Amagiri filling in the fire pit. Unfortunately Shiranui didn't find that as a plausible excuse so he chuckled, turning around to begin to walk away, but his only reply was the mischievous smirk on his lips.

I sent him an embarrassed regard before smothering down my dishevelled bed hair. I had always been a heavy sleeper and it didn't help that we were waking up at the crack of dawn each morning for days on end but something told me there was a little more to my exhaustion today that just getting up so early.

It was because of last night.

Last night the revelation of who Kazama was had really hit me. He was my betrothed, the man from my memories, and I'd finally had time to ask him the questions I'd been dying to know ever since I could remember. I'd found out what he'd been told about my 'illness', why he'd been stabbed in the first place and what happened to his pendant, among many other things that helped me piece my past together.

The truth had served to pacify me more than I thought it would.

When I tentatively searched for the man I was thinking of, I found him standing with Yuki underneath a tree.

He was adjusting her saddle for the day's ride and tightening the straps, seemingly unaware I'd shifted my focus to him. The memories of our conversation last night was still fresh in my mind as was his touch on my face and my hand in his, and my face only grew hotter when thinking of how much I'd _wanted_ it, how much I'd wanted him to remain with me.

Staring at him standing under the tree with Yuki, I could have sworn I felt a spark of something ignite in my heart. A spark I often felt when I'd looked at him as a child.

Suppressing all my conflicting emotions, I hastily began to fold up my futon. The sooner I packed away my things the sooner we could leave and once we were on the road again I would have at least a few hours to dwell on everything. Right now I just needed to get ready.

Once I'd rolled up my futon and got to my feet, I swung my cape on and clipped it up. I didn't want to walk over to Yuki and strap my futon to her side when Kazama was there but I could see he wasn't going to leave anytime soon and I didn't want to delay our journey. Not only that but my breakfast was in my saddlebag and I was _already_ beginning to suffer through the pains of hunger.

Pushing those thoughts aside and clenching my fists in determination, I strolled over to Yuki with perhaps a little too much zeal.

Without looking in his direction I came to stand directly beside him, hastily attaching my futon to Yuki then fishing through my bag for some dried fruit. The pleasantness of his scent almost forced me to hold my breath and I swore I felt his eyes dart down to look at me as he searched his own bag for something. His presence was undeniable and dominating but not in the way I'd found it at the start of the journey.

Now I considered it as comforting.

Plucking out my bag of dried fruit I shut my bag and turned to walk away, raising a piece of fruit to my lips.

But Kazama had other plans.

Before I could retreat from his side his velvet voice commanded my attention. 'If you are willing then we will recommence your oni training today, Chizuru.' He stated simply, casually flipping the lip of his saddlebag shut once he'd pulled out some dry biscuits.

My body tensed as he addressed me but the thought of practicing my oni powers again was definitely welcome news. I'd been dying to get back to my oni lessons for a long time and it had been ages since I'd learned something new. We'd been honing my telepathy and exploring the many facets of that ability for a long time which was understandable as there were so many aspects to it but the further we progressed with everything the closer I would become to achieving my potential.

I nodded, trying to feign impartiality. 'Oh… so what will you teach me?' I murmured, very much incapable of looking him in the eye.

Kazama didn't seem to mind my reticence even though he could have been hoping I'd look at him. 'I will teach you how to use oni strength. We will start off small but once you have perfected it you will be able to use your sword a lot better as your strikes will have more power behind them too. Tomorrow we will resume swordplay.' He explained, dropping his arms to his sides.

We both ignored the curious glances from Amagiri and Shiranui who up until now hadn't been aware Kazama and I were back on speaking terms.

This time I gave Kazama no reply, only nodding to convey I'd understood. I presumed this training would occur during our lunch break and truthfully I couldn't wait. I would never turn down an opportunity to learn a new ability because in my mind it meant I was closer to becoming a fully-fledged oni and the more I learned the more I felt I belonged, not only amongst my companions but in my own body as well. My oni form was a part of me too and I wanted to learn how to use it and its abilities properly.

When Kazama left me in peace to eat, I used the silence to reflect on the upcoming day.

I was eager to get back on the road again and grow yet another day closer to Ezo. With only 3 weeks left I was excited but also afraid even though Hanami had assured me of their survival, as she'd promised me they'd be _alive_ but not that they would be unharmed or uninjured. I was concerned in particular for Okita as it was unlikely that his tuberculosis had cured itself and I hated to think about the possibility his condition had worsened over the past 3 months.

And what about the others? Were they unharmed from the war?

According to Kazama, the fight was largely lost for them and that meant that after this they wouldn't be able to go back to the life they had. That reality would affect them grievously, I knew that, and even I would miss the life we had in Kyoto. After these 3 weeks had passed and I was reunited with them then we would have to build everything from the ground up as the Shinsengumi would be no more and technically we were considered enemies of the state.

We would have to start out lives all over again, restoring what we'd had piece by piece.

Sighing aloud unintentionally, it took me a while to realise Kazama hadn't mounted Yuki yet.

I peered up at him timidly, blushing as I realised he was looking at me and probably had been for some time. 'What?' I mumbled as his focus on my face didn't lessen, and he sighed after pressing his hand to Yuki's saddle. 'I asked if you were ready to leave but it appears you didn't hear me.' He accused lightly, highlighting my usual habit of selective listening.

Flustered by my embarrassment and the intensity of his crimson eyes I didn't bother to offer an apology. It would have come out incoherent and unintelligible anyway.

Instead I swallowed and fiddled with the hem of my tunic. 'I'm ready.' I affirmed.

At my confirmation, Kazama slid his right foot into the stirrup and pulled himself up. It really was mesmerising watching him do even the most simple of tasks because he was just so graceful in everything he did, particularly when compared to me. Before the journey I'd been rather inclined to think of him lacking finesse due to the brute force he used in battle but the reality was he was quite graceful.

Blushing at the realisation I was admiring him _again_ , I hesitantly hauled myself up into the saddle.

Once Kazama had helped me up, Amagiri and Shiranui mounted too. I could see they were still confused by the reason Kazama and I were speaking as they wouldn't have known about our little discussion last night by the fire and therefore our recent amity would have appeared to come out of nowhere. Even to me it was pretty crazy how I could go from silent and numb to _this_ in one night but I attributed it largely to the fact I now had all the answers I wanted. He'd been honest with me when answering my queries and now that I had all the information it was easier to try and process the whole situation.

And this was indeed a situation that needed _lots_ of processing.

As I wrapped my arms around his torso in anticipation of the fast pace, Kazama relaxed somewhat. I felt the shift in his rigidity and the softening of his muscles as I pressed my chest to his back I found my emotions became even more confused.

How many times had I done this in the past without realising who exactly I was holding onto? I'd undoubtedly done it hundreds of times and yet now it felt so different knowing I was clinging onto not only the man who gave me my bracelet but also who I'd been betrothed to. It was more than just bizarre; it was conflicting and bittersweet but the truth had also provided a relief of sorts.

At last I'd found the man I'd been searching for.

And wrenched from my daydream by the soft jolt of Yuki's sudden canter, the forest became a blur.

* * *

The sun was high in the sky by the time we stopped for lunch.

Kazama appeared unruffled by the hours we'd just spent clinging to a galloping horse but I on the other hand was aching in every limb I possessed. My thigh and back muscles were on fire and so were my hands as they'd been clutching him tightly to avoid falling off, my knuckles white as I pulled them from his body and placed them in my lap.

When I let him go he dismounted, slipping from the saddle and landing with two feet on the ground. Two more dull thumps sounded afterwards as Shiranui and Amagiri got down from their horses and started to lead them over to the stream to drink, and I could tell by the way Yuki was shifting underneath me that she was thirsty too.

Patting her neck softly in a silent show of gratitude for her effort today, I was just about to dismount when a hand came into view.

It was Kazama's hand.

I stared blankly at his usual offer to help me down, unsure whether to decipher his intentions as genuine or bold. His confidence never ceased to amaze me nor did his adherence to routine as not even after what had happened between us did he falter in extending his hand to help me down. Did he think after last night that I'd totally forgiven him? Or did he just wish to tease me?

But when I looked at his face there were no scraps of jest.

He appeared utterly serious albeit slightly awkward which was unusual for him, but it showed me that he was still uncertain on where I stood in regards to our relationship. Not even when our eye contact lingered for many seconds did he look away or take his hand from me and it was then that a small voice entered my head.

 _Give in to him. Give in to what you want._

It was a voice borne from last night, one that had been given the courage to speak up now that I'd had a taste of what it was like to be true to myself. Kazama and I had shared some intimate moments by the fire and I'd finally allowed myself to give in, just once, and I was shocked at how gratifying it had been to do so. I wondered if he took is as a sign of capitulation or if he'd just been thankful that I'd requested his company of my own will.

Either way it had shown to me that surrender could be pleasing.

And that pleasure was addictive.

Lowering my eyes as if I couldn't bear the shame of my own weakness, I gingerly reached out to take his hand.

For the briefest of moments Kazama appeared visibly unprepared for the acceptance of his offer. It was at least a full 3 seconds before he registered I'd taken his hand and a further few until he started to help me down, which was rather fortunate actually because his confusion distracted him from the mortification on my face.

But when my feet made contact with the ground I felt the same rush that I had last night. It was a warm sensation that spread throughout my body and one that fed the voice in my head as well, giving me subtle reassurance that what I'd done was what I'd needed to do. If it was true or not I had no idea but what I did know that I'd encouraged something that couldn't be reversed.

Surrender was a forbidden fruit I should have left untasted.

Hastily spinning around to search through my saddlebag, I forgot to even thank him. I was much too frazzled to speak let alone think about what I would say after giving in for the _second_ time in less than a day.

Where would this end? _Would_ it end? Was I digging my own grave by being this true to myself?

I couldn't work out if all these questions were rational or not.

Gritting my teeth, I moved away from the scene of my submission to find a spot under a tree.

We'd stopped by a small creek surrounded by dense trees, just enough room for us all to move around unhindered. Now that I thought about it, it was quite strange how we always managed to find a water source as from what Kazama had told me in Yamamura his navigation ability could only lead him to cities or landmarks. He did say his starlines could direct him somewhere where he'd been before but I doubted Kazama had travelled this way in the past.

Shrugging it off subconsciously, I sat down a few metres from Amagiri and he smiled at me in acknowledgment.

I smiled back, feeling instantly comfortable by his side. 'How are you today, Amagiri-san?' I asked, recalling that I hadn't spoken to him all day.

Amagiri was perhaps still confused on how I was inexplicably in much better spirits than yesterday but he answered me nonetheless. 'I am well, as you also seem to be Chizuru-sama.' He noted politely, and I blushed as I felt Kazama's sudden attention on my face as he awaited my response to that observation.

He too may have been perplexed as to my supposed lack of trauma.

I sifted through my bag of dry fruit to avoid meeting his line of sight. 'Uh… yeah. I'm good.' I said as I plucked out some dried apple and put it in my mouth. I was indeed in higher spirits than yesterday thanks to the opportunity I got last night to talk with Kazama but deep down I was still very much in shock and it would take a while for it to fade, if at all.

But I supposed that Amagiri's assumption was right; I was well today. Better than I thought I would have been after what I'd learnt.

Before Amagiri could form a response, Kazama strolled over to sit down next to me; not too close but close enough that my heart began to pound. It was hard to think or eat when he was so near but with his proximity came a sense of exhilaration too which was something that no other person had been able to incite in me.

Not even after what he'd done was my body immune to him.

He'd only eaten a few of his biscuits before he tilted his head in my direction, causing my heart to beat even faster. 'After lunch we will start your lesson. It will only be a short lesson but one you will need to complete in your oni form.' He revealed, his eyes glinting with something close to anticipation.

He was either excited to teach me or excited to see me in my other form and I could probably guess it was the latter, but there remained an undertone of caution to all of his words and behaviour. He was unsure just how stable I was beneath my rather calm demeanour and he didn't want to trigger another meltdown so it was probably because of this that he wasn't being as arrogant or as suggestive as he normally would.

Nodding timidly, I swallowed the food in my mouth. 'Ok, Kazama-san.' Was my simple answer.

After I said his name I could have sworn I saw a flicker of gentleness in his eyes but it was gone before I could verify it. 'Perhaps you would appreciate some more information about what else you will be learning before the journey comes to an end? After all, we only have 3 weeks left.' He stated dispassionately, but I could see the heat in his eyes as he said it. Maybe he was disappointed that our journey was coming to an end and I pondered if it was because we would have to part ways after this. It was likely I wouldn't see him for many months after he'd left for his village.

The thought of being separated from him was rather… painful.

Too busy mulling over that possibility, I almost forgot to answer. 'Um… yes. That would be nice.' I admitted, too flustered to look at him but also struggling to hide my desperation as well. I would never grow tired of hearing about my oni powers and Kazama had implied he would discuss which ones I had left to learn and in what order they would come in. Unfortunately I already knew my oni speed would be last.

Kazama rested against the tree behind him, one knee cocked upwards in a casual position. 'After today's lesson you should be familiar with how to use your oni strength. You'll use this strength to give you power to jump to high places and also to strengthen your legs to absorb the impact when you fall, and in your case it will also give your sword strikes more power. We will further hone this skill tomorrow and in the next few days we will practice jumping and falling from high places.' He divulged, discussing what the immediate future held for me in regards to my oni powers.

I was a bit reserved about learning how to jump and fall as I was afraid of heights but I wanted to learn it nonetheless.

Kazama's eyes sailed down my face as if he was knew I was already starting to panic. 'After I think you are ready we will move onto your forcefields. This is similar to telepathy in the way that it has many facets so I will teach you only the basics you need to defend yourself. I will also teach you how to summon both restrained and unrestrained forcefields and I will also explain to you what those terms means. And lastly…' He said, trailing off to absentmindedly take my chin into his fingertips.

I instantly went scarlet, barely able to maintain eye contact when he tilted my head to face him. 'I will instruct you on how to use your oni speed, Chizuru. I know how much you've wished to learn it and so I will ensure you get plenty of practice.' He remarked, dropping his hand and leaving me to piece my composure back together.

My skin felt electrified from his touch.

Pushing a strand of hair clumsily behind my hair, I nodded bashfully. 'Oh.' I said, feeling like I needed to add something else to take his focus away from my pink cheeks. 'So what if we don't get everything done in time?'

Frowning slightly, Kazama eyed me curiously as if he was pondering something confounding.

I didn't know if my heart was pounding from discomfort or from anticipation; all I knew was that his eyes made me feel uncomfortable but elated at the same time. He really was so entrancing when he beheld me like that even though I didn't know why he seemed to be taking my question so seriously and I felt like I was getting sucked into his gaze, unable to escape no matter how much I wanted to.

Eventually he returned to normal, his pensive face smoothing out. 'Then we resume the lessons when I come for you in Kyoto, of course.' He said matter-of-factly.

It was a straightforward and candid response, and very characteristic of Kazama. Over and over again he kept on demonstrating that he would never give me up and it was this determination that I found both scary and intriguing because it proved he would fight for me.

Come to think of it, I'd never really question why he'd always been so desperate for us to wed. Now that I knew he didn't think of me as just a 'breeding slave', like I had when we first started the journey, I wasn't entirely sure as to his motives now.

Was it just because I'd been betrothed to him?

Or was it possible that… that Kazama had feelings for me?

Snapping back into reality before I worked my already exhausted brain into a frenzy, I could only look at Kazama for a millisecond before his eyes became too much. I couldn't imagine Kazama being so easily infatuated with a woman and further still I couldn't imagine that the source of his affection could be someone like me. In my mind I was nothing special and nothing that I thought Kazama would go for under normal circumstances and the mere possibility that Kazama had developed feelings for me was just too overwhelming that I didn't even have a response to his comment.

It had been a while since I'd recognised my feelings and they had most definitely grown, but in all that time I'd banished any fantasies of Kazama reciprocating my affection.

But some part of me wanted to believe it.

Some part of me hoped that he thought of me as more than just the Yukimura princess, more than just a female oni.

Blushing profusely, I finished my food and washed it down wish some water before I stood up.

Kazama had assumed a while ago that he would get no response and so he had resigned himself to finishing his meal, pausing every so often to look at me out of the corner of his eye. I was still fighting to calm myself which was proving quite the challenge as every time I thought I was getting a grip on myself I just happened to think about the possibility of Kazama's affection.

I didn't know why the prospect made me feel this way.

Shifting over to Yuki I placed the empty packet in my saddlebag, turning my concentration instead on today's oni lesson.

This would be the perfect distraction for me after all that had happened. There was nothing that made me happier than learning a new ability and I couldn't believe I used to think that I was powerless, even though I _physically_ had been, because at the end of the day I'd always had the capacity to be as strong as I was now. Of course I still had a long, long way to go and we hadn't really done too much swordplay yet but I aspired to improve myself as much as I could before Kazama and I had to leave one another. I couldn't wait to show the Shinsengumi all that I'd been taught although there was still some doubt in my mind that they would approve.

Would they be scared of my powers? Would the sight of me in my oni form make them afraid?

It would be strange for them but I didn't want them to be terrified of me. I didn't want them to think I was any different just because I'd been taught how to use my abilities and I also didn't want them to speculate whether or not I wished to be by their sides. This journey had brought me closer to my kin and given me a sense of belonging but it hadn't pulled me further away from the human world. I still wanted to be a part of their lives and I didn't want them to doubt my loyalty just because I'd grown closer to my species.

Sighing, I only realised Kazama had joined me when I saw his hands come into view.

He opened up his saddlebag and placed his uneaten biscuits back inside, flashing me a sidelong glance before clipping everything shut again. I waited for him to give the cue that we were starting our lesson and thankfully I didn't have to wait more than a few seconds because the longer we stood here in silence the more awkward it got.

Eventually putting me out of my misery, Kazama jerked his head in the direction of the forest. 'Let's go.' He said.

I nodded and took my hands off Yuki, smiling softly at Shiranui and Amagiri as I followed obediently behind Kazama.

They still seemed rather confused why he and I were speaking so soon, particularly because I hadn't said a single word yesterday. After Kazama had told me the truth I had retreated into my shell, only nodding or shaking my head when questions were asked of me or giving no response at all if it was Kazama who asked those questions. I'd had every right to be silent and shocked given the nature of what I'd learned but now that I had the answers I craved it made it easier for me to understand the situation.

Part of me wanted to stay angry at him though. What he'd kept from me was no white lie but recently awakened was the 7 year old me who'd cherished him and combined with the current me who also had strong feelings it was impossible that I could be irate for long. Already I was softening and weakening from his prescence, my frustration and betrayal morphing into something a little mellower.

Pressing my hands to my cheeks to cool them, my blush had only just faded when he came to a stop.

We hadn't travelled a long distance but it was far enough that we could no longer see Amagiri and Shiranui. Fallen leaves coated the earth and the thickness of the canopy above our heads meant that not much light filtered to the ground but the gloominess only made our surroundings even more mysterious. It was the perfect place for an oni lesson; quiet and peaceful.

As if Kazama could read my mind, he motioned to a grassy patch under a large tree. 'We will have our lesson here.' He stated, instructing me to sit down.

Adjusting my cape so I sat on it instead of the cold ground, I waited patiently for Kazama to sit down too and give me my next instruction. It was still rather awkward being alone with him after everything that had happened but I could have only imagined what it had have been like if we hadn't have talked last night by the fire. Odds are today would have been unbearable, and in fact every day for the rest of the journey would have felt like pulling teeth until I'd gained the answers I'd needed.

Last night had been hard for me, but necessary. I'd gotten what I'd wanted from him.

Coming back to myself, I noticed Kazama seemed to have no intention of sitting down.

Staring with a mix of confusion and curiosity I watched as he made his way to the left and squinted at the ground as if he was looking for something, his steps slow and planned as he circled the tree and came back around again.

What on earth was he _doing_? Had he dropped something?

I frowned, eyeing the ground as if I'd find the answer there too. 'What are you doing?' I posed suspiciously, peering up at him just in time to see him bend down and pick something up from the grass.

Kazama didn't answer me. Instead he placed the stone he'd found into his pocket, immediately starting to search for more, and I was only growing more perplexed by the minute. No matter how hard I thought about it I couldn't think of a reason why he was searching so valiantly for stones but I presumed it had something to do with today's lesson. Apparently we were learning about strength but I couldn't figure out the correlation between pebbles and such a power.

Finally Kazama came over to me again, his lips curling upwards at my expression. 'What?' He asked rhetorically, settling down in front of me and pulling all the stones from his pocket.

I didn't really know what to think at this stage so I just shrugged. 'Why did you collect all these rocks?' I inquired innocently as he placed them in the space between us. He'd gathered stones of all different shapes and sizes, some with jagged edges and some with smooth, and I wondered if that had any link to what we'd be doing today.

The smallest of smirks pulled at the corner of his lips, his eyes gleaming as he picked one up and tossed it to me.

I caught it as he answered. 'This is the same training exercise I underwent as a child to learn how to use my oni strength.' He began, his eyes fixed on my fingers as they idly traced the smooth curves of the stone. 'First I will tell you how to use your strength and then your task will be to crush these stones with your hands. Look.' He said, picking up a small stone to demonstrate.

I only had time to see him put it in his palm before he closed his fingers around it, squeezing tightly for a few seconds.

When he opened his hand shortly after my mouth fell agape. The rock in his hand had crumbled to practically nothing, crushed almost to powder, and he let me look at it for a while longer before he poured the remains onto the grass and brushed the dust off his hands.

Did he really think I could do something like _that_? If my oni strength allowed me to crush stones then what else would I be able to do?

What else could _he_ do?

Simpering at my surprise, Kazama rested his hands in his lap. 'Before I let you try for yourself it would be wise to be in your oni form.' He advised, picking up another stone to fiddle with while he watched me start to squirm.

I swallowed, already beginning to colour crimson.

Kazama had a habit of reacting passionately to me in my oni form and somehow I doubted today would be any different. Maybe he would be a little less overt with his pleasure because of yesterday but internally he would feel no less satisfaction than all the other times I'd transformed, and there was still the possibility that he would display it in some way or another. Kazama had not once in the past been capable of hiding the delight he drew from the white-haired version of me.

Pushing away my embarrassment, I was just about to shift my body to face the other way when I felt a hand press to mine.

'No, Chizuru.' He said.

Taken by surprise at his command, he carried on before I could clarify what he meant. 'Today you will change forms without turning away. There will come a time where you will need to do this in front of people so you need to practice. Look at me.' He ordered, retracting his hand.

When he let me go I didn't know what to think.

I'd never transformed while facing someone before and I certainly didn't want to start now, not when I could barely meet his eyes as it was. I was petrified that I wouldn't be able to do it under this much pressure and to make matters worse I wasn't sure if he actually wanted me to look _directly_ at him or if he just meant for me to face him. Just thinking about transforming whilst looking into his eyes was too much to bear. There was no way I could do that.

Biting my lip anxiously, I stared down into my lap. 'I'll… I'll try.' I capitulated, determined to keep my head lowered.

And without waiting for a reply, I shut my eyes.

When my eyelids fluttered closed and I withdrew into myself, I began to see the golden tendrils of my power. They were bright and lively, no longer desperate to hide away like they were when I'd first started to use my abilities, as the first time I'd ever transformed into my oni form they had fought with all they had to remain hidden in the crevices of my mind.

But either due to my confidence or through practice they were now more complacent.

As I cautiously reached out to select one, I could feel the heat of Kazama's eyes on my face. Normally by this stage I would have effortlessly pulled up a tendril and pressed it to the surface of my skin but knowing Kazama was watching resulted in distorted concentration. I had to admit I understood why he'd made me do this; because in the future I wouldn't always be able to turn away to transform and the more I clung onto this anxiety the longer it would take for my transformation to become effortless. Kazama had shown me he could change forms in mere seconds and that was what I wanted to do as well.

And for that to happen I needed to practice.

When a fresh flow of determination washed through me, I heaved the tendril of gold out of the darkness and pressed it to the underside of my flesh.

I would never grow tired of feeling my own power burning through my veins, spreading to every inch of me and altering my human body into something wondrous and supernatural. As the heat spiralled under my skin I began to feel the familiar prick in my fingertips of my claws emerging, the surfacing of my horns from my forehead and the tingling in my ears as they became pointed. These and so many other changes were occurring both internally and externally, including the heightening of my senses, and now I could not only sense Kazama but hear him too; his breathing, his heart, the sound his lips made when they parted as my change neared completion.

And when I opened my eyes, he was already looking at me.

His pupils were almost fully dilated and the fiery crimson of his irises had brightened considerably, giving the impression that I was staring into the core of a volcano. It was no secret that he was currently transfixed and through my own rapture I could feel the enthrallment building as I stared at him in return.

With my oni vision there was nothing I didn't notice about him. His skin was supple and unblemished, his eyes crisp and deep, and his beauty spellbinding. Every time I saw him with this enhanced vision I was left blown away by how such a physically faultless man could exist as even with such hawk-like sight there was nothing I would have changed about him even if I had to. Sitting in front of me he appeared as regal as ever and just as strong and proud as he had in my memories, and with a blush I realised he was just as beautiful too.

But not in the same way he was when I was a child.

When I was young I used to think of his beauty as warm and soothing, something to admire innocently like you would a pretty painting, but now he was beautiful in a way that proved I'd shifted from a girl to a woman. His appearance now made me feel a certain way, made me crave something I couldn't quite put a name to.

His beauty was as intoxicating as poison, and maybe just as dangerous.

When Kazama's own trance wore off, he placed the rock in his hand back with the others. 'Never will I become tired of seeing you in this form, Chizuru. Your beauty is truly unrivalled.' He sighed, reaching forward to take both of my hands in his.

Going even redder, I didn't know what to say as he edged closer to me.

His eyes were scorching and yet they held a certain amount of tenderness too, and it was the latter that made my breath catch in my throat. As predicted Kazama was incapable of concealing how my oni form made him feel and it was with shame that I realised I also couldn't hide how he made _me_ feel, as even in his human form he had this way of trapping me with his eyes.

I felt like his prey, like something he was hunting down, but I didn't dislike the feeling anymore.

When I said nothing, Kazama thread our fingers together like he was claiming me. 'Are you ready?' He asked, providing an abrupt but welcome subject change. I was so grateful that he hadn't said anything more about my appearance because I probably would have melted into a puddle but to be honest I was a little disappointed he hadn't touched me, as the soft caresses of his hands on my face were addictive as much as they were mortifying.

I nodded, avoiding his eyes in case he somehow read my thoughts. 'I'm ready.' I confirmed, taking a deep breath and summoning all my remaining focus.

Sensing my shift in demeanour, he wasted no more time. 'Very well. Pick up a rock and we shall begin.' He directed, letting go of one of my hands so I could do as he'd asked.

Looking down at the pile of rocks in front of me, I selected one of the smallest. I figured that it was wise to start with something that might be easier to crush because at the moment I was sceptical that I could do what he'd done. I'd known all along that onis possessed more strength than regular humans but outside of battle I hadn't really seen any examples of it until today and it went without saying that for Kazama to turn a stone to dust was quite impressive.

When I'd taken the rock into my hand, Kazama explained the next step. 'To activate your strength all you need to do is take some of your power and bring it to whatever limb you wish to strengthen. Be mindful though that you don't need to let the power go. In this case to crush your stone you need to consciously guard the power in your hand without releasing it. Try.' He encouraged, his eyes shifting from my face to the pebble I was holding.

Having manipulated my power in such similar ways in the past I was feeling comfortable with what to do. I was no stranger to having to lead tendrils of my power through my body as this was necessary when I needed to activate a single oni feature without changing fully into my oni form. Kazama and I had practiced this in the village he'd taken me to for my birthday and I'd used it to individually summon my claws and white hair.

The only difference now was that I needed to hold my power in my hand instead of releasing it.

Shutting my eyes and searching for my power, I found it easily. The glowing threads were floating around just as calmly as they had when I'd used them to change into my oni form and I hoped they'd stay just as cooperative for this next task.

Grabbing a thread and coaxing it upwards, I began to lead it through my blood and down towards my hand.

It felt similar to the last time I'd done this to activate my oni features all those weeks ago. As I guided the energy through my shoulders and down my arm I was pleased to discover it came quite naturally and that I was able to control the tendril I was grasping. I was grateful that I'd had prior practice doing this because otherwise it would have been nigh on impossible and it was then that I became aware of why Kazama was teaching me my oni abilities in this order, as the skills learned in the previous one aided the learning of the next. He'd wanted to make sure I honed my powers in a logical way.

When the energy reached my hand I opened my eyes a little, just enough to see the stone resting in my palm.

So… did I just go ahead and try to crush it? I'd brought the power to my hand as instructed _and_ was holding it there without letting go. Was that really the final step?

Flicking my eyes to Kazama's face, he raised an eyebrow. 'Go on.' He urged, his eyes moving back down to the stone. I was nervous as he watched me but I felt confident that I'd done it right so I didn't request he look away. Besides, technically he was my coach so he had every right to observe no matter how uncomfortable I was. If I did something wrong he'd be able to correct me.

Letting out a deep breath, I firmly clamped my hand shut.

Squeezing as hard as I could, I noticed begrudgingly that I couldn't feel the crumbling of stone or the formation of dust between my fingers. Even when I increased the pressure and closed my eyes to concentrate the pebble still wouldn't disintegrate and as I unfolded my hand I saw I had indeed failed.

Kazama chuckled as he witnessed the displeasure on my face. 'You need to use more power it seems. Oni strength requires more energy than what you need to transform. Try again.' He recommended, his eyes sparkling waywardly.

Sighing at his amusement, I got ready to attempt once more.

Closing my eyes, I drew even more power from within me to join the tendrils I was still maintaining in my hands. It wasn't often that I used this much energy and I wouldn't know if it was enough until I tried to crush the rock again, but I was desperate to succeed this time.

Bringing my thoughts back to my current task, I tugged the extra threads of gold down my right hand where they joined the existing power residing there. They fused together to form one large chord of energy pulsating beneath my skin and when I focused on the burning in my hand I realised I may have done it. My hand felt different than usual, stronger and less frail.

Could I try again now?

Kazama was already looking at me when I opened my eyes, and I didn't wait for his approval this time.

Applying all my strength to compress the stone I was promptly rewarded with a dull _crunch_ sound.

Despite myself, a smile automatically spread across my face as I stared down at the shattered pebble. I couldn't believe I'd done it and so easily too as if it was made of nothing more than sand and I could tell by the way Kazama was looking at me that he was also impressed with my efforts.

Brushing the pebble dust from my skin, I failed to wipe the silly but mortified smile from my face. 'I did it.' I declared, more as a way of breaking the silence rather than announcing my triumph.

Wrenched from his daze by my voice, he offered me a half-haughty smile once he'd regained his bearings. 'Well done. If you do it again as efficiently then we shall move on to the next part.' He announced, motioning down to the stones between us.

By the time he'd given me the next instruction, I'd already taken another one into my hand.

As I prepared myself to crush the second stone I thought about what the exact limits of my strength would be. I hadn't let go of the power in my fingers so it was still buzzing and burning in my veins, ready to be used, and I wondered if I would be stronger the more energy I summoned. It was likely that would be the case and although more strength wasn't necessary right now I knew it would come in handy in the future as there had been so many times I'd had to get one of the Shinsengumi to help me carry or move things back at Headquarters.

In fact, there were a lot of things my oni abilities would allow me to do now that I learned how to use them.

Smiling at that notion, I crushed the second rock between my fingers.

Again I heard the soft crumbling noise of the stone crunching from my strength, ground almost to nothing just like when Kazama had demonstrated it mere minutes ago. I had to stare at it for a while just to persuade myself that I'd really done such a thing as even now it was still so mind-blowing that I was capable of these abilities. If I had have been alone I would have trailed through the forest finding other things to smash and break just to test out my true strength.

When I raised my eyes to look at Kazama, he was sporting an attractive smirk. 'You impress me.' He said simply, taking my other hand into his now that I wasn't required to smash anymore rocks.

I blushed, squirming on the grass in a timid reaction to his praise. I knew exactly what he was thinking in this moment as this wasn't the first time I'd 'impressed' him; after I'd changed forms for the first time he'd told me I was a fast learner and that he was surprised I'd never known I was an oni given how naturally my powers came to me. He'd said I was worthy of being his bride, talented and beautiful, and even without him saying so I could see that he still believed that.

As he noticed me growing restless, he sighed. 'Come now. The next part should be done while standing.' He stipulated, revealing the second aspect of today's oni lesson.

I did as he'd said, getting to my feet with my hands still in his and a blush on my cheeks.

At first I'd been confused on why I needed to stand up, but when Kazama positioned me next to the stones again it became clear what was expected.

As soon as I was in position, he explained the next part. 'Now you should do the same with your legs. Direct your energy into your feet and used them to crush the stones. When you've completed this then we shall finish up, Chizuru, as we must make haste to arrive at another village tomorrow.' He divulged.

I nodded, disappointed that our oni lesson was almost over but glad that we would arrive at a town tomorrow. Already my body was craving to sleep with a roof over my head and some proper food so I didn't mind delaying the journey for one night just so I could get a decent night's sleep. Sleeping in the outdoors could be nice but there was only so much I could bear before I needed a break.

When I noticed Kazama looking at me expectantly, I immediately averted my eyes and began the next task.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on searching the void inside of me, the place where my power was stored. As expected it didn't take me long to locate my power and once I'd selected a small group of tendrils I pulled them upwards and out of the darkness, where I sent them downwards instead of through my shoulder and into my arm.

Each patch of flesh I lead it through burned and sizzled, reminding me of the significance of what I was holding.

Reminding me that I wasn't human.

The process was quicker than last time, fuelling my confidence, and as the power came to settle in my right foot I opened my eyes. Now I had to crush them with my feet using the same energy technique I'd used just before and I was feeling confident even though Kazama's hands in mine were serving as quite the distraction.

Lifting my foot without waiting for Kazama's encouragement, I brought it down on the pile of stones.

The first thing I felt was the crumbling beneath my feet.

Just like all the other times, accompanying this sensation was the sound of the stones crunching. I couldn't help a proud grin expand across my face as I removed my foot and stared down at the pile of shattered pebbles, ground together in a mix of different shades of grey dust and fragments, and when I raised my eyes to see if Kazama had approved I was greeted with one of his pleased smirks.

Pulling me softly closer to him with my hands, he nudged the pile of stone rubble with his foot. 'You're getting much faster at using your powers, Chizuru, and you seem more confident as well.' He observed, seemingly unaware of how flustered I was from having him pull me so closer to him.

Smiling diffidently, I lowered my head in humble acceptance of his praise. 'Thanks, Kazama-san. It gets easier and easier the more I do it, and it helps that…that…' I trailed off, understanding that what I was about to say was maybe a little too embarrassing.

Licking my lips, I finished my sentence. 'It helps… that I have a good teacher.' I concluded, exhaling in relief as I managed to force it out.

Kazama's pleased smirk morphed into something a bit softer but it soon turned haughty once more. 'I see. Well, I am glad you find my instruction useful. I have been teaching for many years in my village, as you may or may not know, so the idea isn't foreign to me but I think you'd be pleased to know that you've been by far my favourite student.' He highlighted audaciously, reaching up to softly cup my cheek with a playful curl of his lips.

I was mortified by his comment but he'd reminded me of what Amagiri said a long time ago. He'd told me that Kazama taught the children in his village how to use their clan power and now it made sense, because he really _was_ a good teacher.

Unsure what to say or do, I cast him a condoning glare at his boldness but couldn't bring myself to move away. He was still cupping my cheek in his hand, sliding his thumb over the skin under my eyes and almost luring me back to sleep like he had last night.

When Kazama sensed I wasn't going to protest, he raised his other hand as well to take the other cheek.

Whether it was for comfort or just to show he cared about me, he'd often touch my face like this. In the latest flashback I'd had of him he'd done this quite a bit and it had been ludicrously soothing just as it was right now, coaxing me into placidity, and sourly I realised the only thing I hated about his skin on mine was that it couldn't stay there forever. Given how repulsive the thought of him touching me used to be before I came to know him, this was really quite miraculous.

He was so _warm_.

Suddenly, before I could quell it, I felt a prickle in my throat.

Frowning momentarily at the strangeness of the growing scratchiness, I softly cleared my throat but to no avail. The feeling was only getting stronger and more confusing and for some reason it felt so familiar too. It was like I'd felt this before.

Why was my throat… vibrating?

Then it hit me.

By the time I'd realised I'd started to purr, it was too late. Tiny vibrations began to shoot up into my neck and down to my chest, quite frankly scaring the hell out of me like the first time it had occurred, but now that I knew what it was it made it a thousand times worse.

 _Onis only purr when they're content._

Kazama had told me that.

Kazama had explained to me what the sensation was and why it occurred, and as my hands raised automatically to my throat to try and quench the vibrations I saw that he could no longer hide his haughtiness.

He knew exactly why I was purring.

Before I could wrap my hands around my neck, Kazama prevented me from attempting to stop the sensation by grasping them. 'So _this_ is how you really feel.' He sighed, his fingers continuing their course up my face and to my ears where he caressed their elfin tips.

When he touched them, I felt a wave of pleasure race through me.

I'd had the same reaction as this all the other times he'd touched my ears and it just rubbed it in my face that he really did know my body better than I did in some ways. This form was still foreign to me, the things it could do and feel were still so alien, and he knew how to exploit that to his advantage and get me to melt under his fingertips. It was cruel in essence but to my displeasure I found I wasn't protesting as much as I should have.

Rather incapable of pulling away or speaking, I had no choice but to let him continue.

As if it wasn't already embarrassing enough, he hadn't finished yet. 'Here I was having trouble gauging how you felt after yesterday but now I can see you're not as repulsed by me as I feared. Angry probably, but not repulsed.' He confirmed, swirling his fingertips behind my ears as I grew even desperate to stop purring. Not only was it embarrassing but it was giving away my emotions and the worst part of all was that it was intensifying. The more he touched me the louder my purring became and consequently the fire in his eyes grew brighter too.

When it finally grew too much, I went to move out of reach. 'I'm changing back now.' I grumbled, remembering that I'd been able to stop it by transforming into my human form again.

Kazama shook his head, however, and held me in place. 'If you don't pull away then I'll teach you how to quell it without transforming. And stop trying to clutch your throat, Chizuru.' He scolded as I lifted my hands once again to attempt to cease the vibrations.

Reluctantly doing as he said, I let my hands fall by my sides.

I couldn't meet his gaze even while waiting for him to tell me what I was supposed to do. I really hoped that whatever technique he was going to share with me would be quick and effective because it was mortifying standing in front of him like this, purring so loudly that it was blocking out every other sound around us.

I was so embarrassed.

Eventually deciding to end my torture, he picked up both of my hand in his. 'Hold your breath. Slowly the purring will ease until it disappears completely. Keep in mind though that the more you purr the better you will be at detecting when it's about to happen and then you'll be able to stop it before it starts. That will come with practice, but I'm certain I'll make you purr many more times in the future anyway.' He teased lightly, going to touch my cheeks again.

Tugging myself away from his addictive grasp, I sent him a caustic glare but said nothing, facing in the opposite direction to escape his alluring yet infuriating arrogance.

Wasting no time, I drew in a deep breath and held it.

I couldn't believe that of all times I just had to start purring now. I'd been hoping to at least _act_ like I was still angry with him or least hide the fact that I was already mellowing but there was just something about Kazama which made it so hard to do so. He deserved to suffer through at least a few more days of uncertainty because of what he'd done but now it was undeniable to both of us that even after the trauma I'd been put through it was impossible for me to hate him.

I didn't know why, or how, but Kazama was right. I was angry but not repulsed by him and it was only a matter of time before even my anger evaporated too.

When I pushed those thoughts aside and refocused, I noticed that the vibrations were coming to an end.

I was so relieved.

Letting out a sigh, I turned back around again to see that Kazama hadn't moved a muscle. He was still standing behind me with one hand resting on the hilt of his katana and his head cocked to one side, analysing me idly as my coy eyes found his piquant ones. He still appeared kind of smug but it had faded now that I'd stopped purring because he knew that soon our lesson would finish.

I didn't want it to finish either. I enjoyed learning how to use my abilities but I also liked being with him even though our relationship was somewhat on the rocks at the moment. Despite the purring I'd really enjoyed today's lesson and I didn't want to go back to spending the next few hours in silence on the back of a horse where my mind often had the time to dwell on less than satisfactory things.

To my distaste, however, Kazama was the one who announced our inevitable departure.

Grabbing my hands again, his eyes grew slightly darker. 'We should go now, Chizuru. It's time for you to change back.' He sighed, inferring with his eyes that he wanted me to transform right in front of him again. I'd known as soon as he'd taken my hands that he'd expected me to do so while facing him just like I'd done at the start of the lesson but it was no less nerve-wracking.

I was nowhere near comfortable with it yet.

Agreeing even though I was anxious, I tilted my face downwards so my hair covered my features. 'Ok, I'll change back.' I said softly, allowing myself once last glance at his face before I closed my eyes.

Kazama's only reaction was the vague tightening of his hands around mine

Blocking out as much of his prescence as I could, I retreated into myself and searched for the tendril of energy holding my oni form together.

It was only a few seconds before I found it and a few more before I peeled it from my skin, but the difference I felt in my body once I removed the power was startling. I felt almost weak and frail after having been in a body so strong and the sensation was only exacerbated by the dulling of my other senses, which in this case was both a good and a bad thing.

At least now Kazama's presence didn't feel like it was drowning me, filling my mind and body with his warmth.

When I'd returned to my former self Kazama didn't take his hands away; instead he held them tighter. 'You changed back in less than 10 seconds this time.' He noted almost in veneration, one hand coming up to push a ribbon of hair behind my ear, but his fingers had retracted before I could even blush.

As he pulled away I was a mix of disappointed and relieved. 'Yeah… I did. I'm slowly getting better at it.' I said once he'd let me go and given me enough space to think properly again. It was true that this time I'd changed back quicker than I ever had even though he'd had his hawk eyes set on me the whole time but maybe a little pressure had been what I needed.

After standing there together watching the leaves fall for a moment, Kazama broke the silence. 'Let's return to the others now, Chizuru. Tomorrow we will be staying the night at the next village so it's important we reach it as soon as possible.' He bid, gesturing the way we'd came.

My heart sunk as he started to lead with a jerk of his head, encouraging me to follow him.

And I did without a word.

Soundlessly we carried on through the thicket without so much as a glance at each other but the silence wasn't uncomfortable. Instead it offered us both an opportunity to reflect on not only today's lesson but what the past day had meant for us as well as it was now undeniable that I couldn't stay angry for long. I'd sensed his demeanour had softened since this morning which was probably due to my recent willingness to speak and his serenity had only grown after I'd purred for him too.

I still couldn't believe I'd done that. I was very much humiliated, but that was the least of my problems right now.

At the top of my list of issues was definitely the confusion around how I felt. I wanted to be mad but I wanted to pardon him too because I missed how we were before. However, after discovering his true relationship to me things were complicated and I was struggling with my incredulity but I couldn't deny I was already beginning to forgive him, slowly but surely.

Urgh, what was it about him that made it so hard to be angry?

Whether it was because he was the man from my memories or not, he was still important to me. He'd shown true remorse for what he'd done and had proved that his regret stemmed from having hurt me instead of being caught out.

And so, deep in my heart I knew I _could_ still trust him.

* * *

 **Ending note**

Once again **I'M SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY**. Just to soothe the aching in your poor souls, I promise the next chapter will be extra, extra good so get ready (hehe).

Btw **spam alert** , but if you want to see the art I do for this fanfiction then my Instagram is **fleurlilas_art**. It's also there that I post any delays with chapters etc so you know better when I'm going to post. Pls follow me guys.  Actually, let me know if you would prefer for me to make an FB page too or something because I'm aware some of you might not have Instagram!

Thanks for reading xx


	42. Temptation

Hello my lovelies, voila a new chapter for you all.

You'll be pleased to know I made a Facebook page where I'll post my art and whatnot so PLEASE LIKE THE PAGE (btw thank you immensely for the ones that did).

The page name is **Fleur Lilas (username thing- FleurLilasArt)** and the profile pic is a picture I drew of Chizuru in her tunic with a vibrant orange background. Kazama is also the cover photo.

Thank you so much to **Nathy-666, MayuoftheMoon, Evy22, Lakarae, oshiet, Yona0, . .x Athena1242, xSapphirexRosesxFanx and Little Lady** for your heart warming reviews. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about my story, I really appreciate the time you take to give me feedback.

 **MayuoftheMoon** \- Heyyy : D WOW I'm honoured that you were checking the site every day just for my story haha and I'm glad you found the chapter worth the wait! I hope you find this chapter even better! As for your question, I have no issues with people using my story as a basis for their own work or other things as long as they reference/give credit to me (just like you said). Honestly it's so humbling to hear that my story has inspired you to create your own works, because that's what I'd hoped for it to achieve; to be something that people can enjoy and something they can use to incite their own imaginations. So yes, of course you may use my story as a reference, and thank you for the review :3

 **Lakarae** \- Hey there :3 I feel as if I know you quite well because you're one of my fervent followers on Instagram haha : D About my writing process, well… As you mentioned I do study and have a job so there is minimal time to write, but fortunately I am one of the lucky ones who can literally write 6000 words in one sitting (just as I did for this chapter actually). I rarely get writers block because I just love writing so much, and there are three things that inspire me to write. First and foremost I love the idea of creating something from nothing, to be able to craft a world of my own in word form and share it with other people so they can enjoy it too (wow that sounds really artsy haha). Secondly, the reviews I get are a great sense of encouragement and solidify that what I'm writing is actually important and that there are people who enjoy it. And lastly, I love to see when I improve. When I look back on my first chapters in No Longer Strangers I cringe so much because of all the awkward sentences and OOC moments because at that point I was still learning how to write. But as I read further and further along I can see how much I improve from chapter to chapter and it's an amazing feeling.

Hopefully all that blabbering answered your question and feel free to ask me any more you have! Thanks for your support xx

 **WARNING: This chapter contains course language**

* * *

 **Temptation**

Raising the apple to my mouth, I used my other hand to comb through Yuki's mane.

We'd stopped for lunch a while ago. We'd made good time according to Kazama which meant the village wasn't too far away and he'd disclosed that we'd be staying the night there and leaving early in the morning. Apparently it would be a long time until the next village so we would need all the food and rest we could get our hands on.

Internally I was relieved we'd be staying in an inn tonight. I didn't like coming across as weak which is why I never whined about lengthy periods of travel without proper accommodation but inside I was thrilled by the thought of a comfortable futon and maybe even a warm bath. The others acted impartial towards those things but I knew that even they enjoyed it when we arrived at civilisation.

After our lesson yesterday Kazama seemed to have become less cautious around me. Every now and then I sensed his eyes flick in my direction and then return to whatever he'd been looking at before and it was getting easier to be around him now, easier to look at him and not feel betrayed. Now that I'd had another day to brood I did feel better and it was strange to know that the man I'd wanted to see again for my whole life was sitting right beside me, a piece of my past that I could reach out and touch if I wanted to.

A man who I'd been destined to marry.

Every time I thought about our engagement it never grew any easier to comprehend. To think that back in his village was the very token I'd given him as a 6 year old to show that I'd been willing to one day be joined to him in matrimony… it was crazy. My own bracelet remained in my bag where Kazama had put it after I'd taken it off and there it would stay until I'd _fully_ registered the situation. He'd told me that our engagement had been cancelled upon news of my village's slaughter so I could wear it again with no consequence but to me it was still symbolic of what would have been.

I could only imagine what the Shinsengumi would do once they found out about this.

Actually, that was something I hadn't dwelled upon yet. Would I tell them? How would they feel knowing that Kazama and I had a history that stemmed further into the past than just 4 years ago?

And what would they do if they knew I had… _did_ care for him?

It made me feel somewhat guilty. Here I was crossing the country to be reunited with the man I loved and now that this had arisen I knew it would be even harder for me to leave Kazama. To part from him now, especially forever, was a prospect that had become even more painful and it would tear me apart if we had to be separated just because I'd chosen another man. Even after the secret he'd kept from me there was a place for him in my heart.

Feeding Yuki the apple core once I'd finished, I heard the footsteps of someone approaching from behind.

I already knew it was Kazama.

I could sense his presence, all-consuming and bright, but he was also lighter on his feet than the others. His footsteps sounded more lithe and graceful and even though he was still some distance away I could already smell him too. His rich, earthy scent was a scent I'd always known well.

Finally joining my side he shoved his flask back into his saddlebag. 'Chizuru.' He said, tilting his head to look at me as I struggled to appear busy.

Peeling my hands off Yuki I looked at him, but there was no way I could hide my timidity. 'Yes, Kazama-san?' I murmured, blinded by how resplendent he appeared in full sun. He was so beautiful, as he'd always been, and it cast a spell over me.

Kazama casually turned to face me and he stared at my face as if the sound of his name from my lips entranced him. 'As I told you yesterday we will resume our swordplay today. However, I've changed my mind about when I'll teach you how to jump and fall from high places.' He announced, taking me by surprise.

What did he mean he'd 'changed his mind'? Did that mean he wasn't going to teach me anymore?

Even though I was deathly afraid of heights I was still disappointed by the possibility. It was likely he thought I wouldn't be able to handle it or that it would be better to teach me something else first but I wanted to make sure he was still planning on teaching me at some point. Just like my other abilities this one was bound to be helpful in the future and I didn't want to miss out on it.

Frowning, I beheld him with confusion. 'What do you mean?' I posed, brushing Yuki's hair off my palms as Kazama's eyes continued to rake me up and down, and surprisingly he pulled my own flask from my bag. 'Originally I said we would begin ascent and decent lessons, the terms used for jumping and falling, within the next few days. But given how efficient you were yesterday I believe you are capable of starting this afternoon.' He clarified, narrowing his eyes at me when he noticed the sudden panic blossom on my face.

 _Today?_

I was glad he hadn't denied me of the opportunity to learn how to jump and fall but I was utterly unprepared to start so soon.

Detecting my apprehension, his lips twitched into a half smile. 'We will practice first with short drops, Chizuru. Does this sound agreeable?' He asked, raising an eyebrow as he noticed my colourless complexion and I swallowed as he handed me my water flask. 'Uh… yes.' I said, although I wasn't quite sure if that was the truth.

I'd always been scared of heights.

When Kazama had jumped off that cliff with me at the start of our journey I'd been terrified out of my wits. Even walking along the giant bridge which lead to Yamamura had almost been too much so I didn't know how I was going to go having to jump from high places. What if I messed up and accidentally hurt or killed myself?

I was sure Kazama would never let that happen but the fear remained anyway.

Before I could fluster myself too severely, Kazama sighed. 'If you truly are uncomfortable with it then we will postpone the ascent and decent lessons for later on in the week.' He suggested, resting his forearms on his knees and looking at me through his dark brown lashes.

The way his eyes settled on my skin gave me butterflies.

Shaking my head, I feigned courage. 'No, it's ok. I want to learn it today.' I said, lifting my eyes to his so he could see I was serious. I didn't want to come across as weak nor did I want to miss out on any lessons because all I wished for was to be capable of using all my abilities. We only had 3 weeks left of the journey and a few more things to learn so the sooner I started the more likely it was that I'd finish my lessons before Kazama and I parted ways.

Staring at me for just a few more seconds, he then took a step away from Yuki. 'In that case we shall find a place to start. Are you ready?' He proposed, his right hand coming to rest on the hilt of his katana.

Even though I was hesitant about the heights aspect I truthfully couldn't wait to begin.

Nodding, I placed my own hand on the hilt of my kodachi. 'I'm ready.' I said, patting Yuki one last time before I shifted away from her and waited for Kazama to lead the way.

As usual he did so immediately, beginning to head into the forest without so much as a glance towards Amagiri and Shiranui. Either Kazama's lack of communication didn't bother them or they'd already become used to it but neither of them addressed the blonde oni as he strolled past. They were most likely aware of where we were going anyway.

Sending them a polite smile, I followed Kazama into the foliage.

Now that Kazama and I were silent it gave me more time to reflect on today's upcoming lesson. I hadn't expected to learn jumping and falling today as I hadn't really perfected my oni strength yet but I had to trust that he thought I was ready.

I was flattered, actually, that he'd deemed yesterday as such a success. My powers really were getting easier to control and I was sure that I'd transformed into my oni form quicker yesterday than I ever had. Very slowly I was growing more confident, more adept, and I was humbled that he'd noticed that.

I just hoped he knew how thankful I was for his instruction.

Before I could fixate too much on my gratitude, his deep voice pierced through my concentration. 'This afternoon I will teach you non-lethal combat techniques, Chizuru. That will be the aim of this lesson.' He said, rotating his head marginally to see if I was listening.

I was, of course, but I wasn't sure what he meant. 'Non-lethal combat techniques? Like what?' I pressed, blushing as he slowed down so I could walk beside him. 'It goes without saying that you will never be capable of ending another's life. This means that you need to know other ways to subdue your enemy so today I will teach you how to render your opponent unconscious.' He explained casually, his eyes trailing over our surroundings as he searched for somewhere appropriate to start training.

I already knew I would never have it in me to kill someone so I didn't protest. I didn't particularly want to learn how to use my the kodachi my father gave me in such a way so it was for the best that I be taught only how to disarm or disable those I was fighting.

I was just about to ask him to clarify the specific techniques when we came to particularly dense part of the forest.

Vines grew over and between the trees, stringing them together like spider web, and the branches were much lower than usual. Knowing my clumsy nature I was bound to trip over and hurt myself thus hindering today's lesson _and_ solidifying Kazama's belief that I was uncoordinated, so I slowed down as I stepped over the first of the surfaced tree roots.

Without warning, he raised his hand as an offer to help me through the forest.

And I didn't even think twice.

Blushing even more than I thought possible, I was ashamed at how my hand seized his in return with so little hesitancy. The feeling reminded me of all the times in Yamamura when we'd held hands for telepathy and I was startled by how much I missed the feeling of his presence in my head. I couldn't even bear to look at him through the combined agony of my mortification and shame.

What did he think about my frequent and sudden surrenders? Did he think it was all because I'd found out who he really was?

Not even I was sure about the particular details of why I was giving in so much lately; first I'd asked him to stay with me by the fire, then I'd let him help me down from Yuki both yesterday _and_ today, and now I'd accepted his aid in moving through the forest without so much as a blink! I attributed it largely to how pleasant it felt to capitulate but knowing that I took so much pleasure from submission stung my pride almost beyond repair.

What was wrong with me!?

By the time we reached a satisfactory location I was redder than an apple.

The faintest of smirks flickered across Kazama's face as he saw how our contact had flustered me. 'Now that we have come to an adequate clearing you should prepare to begin.' He advised, gesturing to the kodachi tied to my waist.

Due to my embarrassment I did as he said without a word. I was grateful that he hadn't mentioned my ridiculous blush because it only would have made it so much worse but I could see in his eyes that he'd noticed. I was certain there would never come a time where he would grow tired of embarrassing me as he adored my reactions far too much.

After I'd unsheathed my kodachi, he drew his sword. 'There are two moves I will show you. After I demonstrate them I will give you a chance to try the first one during normal combat. Are you ready?' He asked, bringing his sword in front of his body and keeping the tip elevated off the ground.

I nodded, straightening as he came closer to me until we were less than a metre apart.

He was so close that my brain was liquefying but I forced myself to pay attention. I couldn't afford to miss out on any instructions when I was learning something important like this and I'd probably use these techniques in the future especially if I was staying with the Shinsengumi as it was no secret they attracted trouble.

I knew everyone would feel more comfortable knowing I could defend myself in battle, myself included.

Placing his hand over my kodachi hilt, he made sure I was gripping it tightly with my own hand. 'The first technique targets your enemy's stomach. If you hit someone hard enough just below the ribs then it can cause them to lose consciousness.' He said, guiding the hilt of my kodachi to below his sternum.

I resisted the urge to point out that I was in fact rather familiar with this move.

After all, he'd used it on _me_ on numerous occasions.

I studied the area that he'd shown me, committing it to memory, and then he released my hand. 'The second can be used if you are attacking from behind.' He said, tilting his head to expose the back of his neck. 'If you hit someone here with a hard object then they will also lose consciousness. However, you must be careful with how much force you use because there's a chance you may shatter their vertebra.' He finished, running his fingers over the nape of his neck.

Wincing at that mental image, I averted my eyes from bare skin. 'So… how do I know how much pressure to use? For both of those moves?' I asked, knowing that if I employed all my oni strength to hit someone in the stomach or neck they would probably die. If I had the same level of strength as Kazama then it would almost be too easy to end someone's life, even accidentally.

Kazama shrugged, straightening his shirt collar. 'That knowledge comes with experience although I wouldn't use more than it took yesterday for you to crush those stones. Which reminds me; before we start you should try using your oni strength while in your human form. If you can do it then you will be able to put more force into your strikes.' He divulged, lowering his katana.

I too lowered my blade, a physical sign that I would do as he'd recommended.

I was anxious to employ my strength in my human form because I knew it was often harder to use my abilities. However, after yesterday I'd found some new confidence and I realised that as long as I tried hard I'd be able to do it, which was the case for when I transformed in front of Kazama. Even though he'd been watching me I'd still changed forms quicker than I had before and it had really proved to me that the only thing holding me back from improving was myself.

So with that in mind, I closed my eyes and found the power within me.

Being careful with how much energy I took, I selected no more and no less than I had yesterday. I doubted that any amount of strength I used would hurt Kazama but I didn't want to risk it nor did I want to make myself too weak by utilising too much unnecessary power. The very first time I'd tried to transform I'd gotten heavily reprimanded by him because I'd used too much so I knew from experience never to use more energy than what was required.

Dragging the golden tendrils out of the darkness, I guided them down both my arms.

It was more testing than it had been yesterday. When I wasn't in my oni form it was harder to feel where I needed to bring the power and therefore the process was much slower. It was by no means impossible, instead it was just more challenging, but it was only while longer until I'd brought the energy to where it needed to be.

My muscles began to burn and my fingers tingled, letting me know that I'd succeeded despite the difficulty.

Kazama was already eyeballing me when I opened my eyes. 'Do you remember the sword lessons I taught you in the past?' He inquired, creating more distance between us so I could get into stance for our upcoming swordplay.

In our previous lessons he'd taught me how to block and charge properly in addition to how to detect where someone would strike. I remembered everything pretty well so I didn't feel like I needed to ask for clarification but I would need help executing the non-lethal techniques he'd just taught me.

Nodding, I non-verbally answered his question, and he acknowledged it with a nod of his own. 'Very well. Start when you're ready.' He proposed.

Reassuming proper stance, I brought my kodachi up higher and analysed where I would go for the first strike.

I was aware that wherever I hit he would be able to block so for the meantime I would try to be fast and strong. I'd virtually accepted that until I grew really good I would never be able to best him but I was still determined to give it my all so that one day I'd be able to emerge victorious for once.

Until that day though Kazama would be unrelenting with his training.

Taking in a deep breath, I got ready to charge for his shoulder.

He was watching me casually, his katana still pointed to the ground, but as I leapt towards him and raised my sword I saw in his eyes that he'd already known that would be my first move. Flicking his blade up without so much as a flinch he effortlessly caught my kodachi with his sword before it could make contact with him.

As soon as our swords collided I could feel the power reverberate through my body. My strike had been firmer, more confident than usual, and the energy in my arms was fizzing in reaction to its usage. Now that I was sure I had the power all I needed to do was keep going.

Reading my mind, Kazama pressured me to stay focused. 'Don't pause.' He urged as he pulled our blades apart so he could aim for my stomach.

Swinging my blade across just in time to parry him, I clenched my teeth as I decided now would be the perfect moment to try and get him with the hilt of my kodachi. I knew he'd know what I was doing so they'd be no real risk of injury and with our bodies so close it was hard for me to strike him normally anyway.

Quickly changing my grip on my hilt, I went to shove it in the direction of his abdomen.

But it didn't make contact.

Sidestepping my attack, he let out a half-chuckle as he evaded my move. 'You're aiming too low. You need to hit your enemy _here_.' He said, and as fast as lightning he knocked my blade out of my hands and pressed the hilt of his katana to my upper stomach.

Kazama smirked at the flash of frustration that surfaced on my face before he stepped back away from me. 'If you hit them anywhere else then it won't work. Let's try again and this time I'll start.' He offered, watching indifferently as I picked up my kodachi and brushed the dirt from it.

I couldn't believe how rapidly he'd disarmed me.

Well, I could because this was Kazama, but it was just so infuriating. It would take me months if not years to become as good as him and the only thing that kept my courage alive was the faint glimmer of satisfaction I drew from imagining the look on his face when I finally did succeed.

Few things on this earth would be sweeter.

Giving him a nod to convey I was prepared, I readied myself for his advance.

And it was immediate.

Kazama lunged at me without wasting a second, permitting his eyes to wander to my left shoulder, and I took it as a sign of where he was aiming for. With all the force I could muster I threw my blade up, surprised yet alarmed at how much easier it was to block him than all the other times. Due to the strength lingering in my arms it didn't jar my limbs as much nor did it take all my effort to hold him at bay but due to the remarkable difference in our skill levels it would still take some considerable effort on my part to gain the upper hand.

He was undoubtedly at an advantage no matter how strong I was.

Almost to prove this he twisted his blade out of the lock, slipping fluidly to the right so he could take a second jab at my side. It took all of my summoned power just to propel my kodachi up to block him in time and before he could make the next move I tried again to aim for his stomach, angling the hilt towards his abdomen while he primed himself for his next move.

For a split second I thought I was going to succeed but alas he barred me yet again.

His lips twisted in amusement at my second attempt but he didn't make an effort to disarm me this time. 'That's better, Chizuru. Make sure that if you fail any attempts at this in any real battles that you hastily step back so your opponent can't do the same to you; or worse.' He advised, proving his own point by sharply curving his blade up towards my throat.

Squeaking at his unexpected assault I just managed to jump backwards, but on this occasion I wasn't fast enough.

Before I knew it I felt the sting of cold metal against my skin.

His katana rested softly against my neck for only a millisecond before he took it away just as readily as he'd put it there. 'You should have known I was going to aim for your throat as I was looking at it.' He scolded half-heartedly, reminding me that I hadn't been paying attention to his line of sight. If I'd noticed what part of me he was staring at then I probably could have raised my sword sooner.

Supressing a sigh, I accepted his criticism. 'Well… I won't forget again.' I pledged, meeting his eyes momentarily to communicate my resolution.

He rewarded me with a smirk, putting a few metres between us. 'I hope not for your sake. You may start this time.' He said, flashing me an elitist smile almost as if he was actively trying to distract me with his charm.

Fighting the impulse to either blush or send him a glare, I brought my kodachi in front of my body.

I couldn't tell if it was just my deepening affection, his true relationship to me or a mix of both but he seemed to have so much more of an effect on me than usual. This was primarily evident in how I'd been more willing to give in to what I wanted lately but I refused to let him afflict me now in mock combat.

The only thing more displeasing than losing to him was having him know I lost because of what his presence did to me.

Ignoring the errant curl of his lips, I sprung at him as swiftly as I could manage.

He waited until the last moment to block my attack but when he did it was frustratingly graceful. It was almost as if to him I was moving in slow-motion and I couldn't even accuse him of cheating by using his oni sight because his eyes were red instead of gold. His efficiency stemmed down to years and years of practice but that didn't make it any less incensing.

When he shoved me back a step with his katana I ensured I diverted my focus to his eyes. He was glaring at my chest which on any other occasion would have coloured me scarlet but in this instance I knew that was where he was going to aim for.

Almost before he'd angled his katana towards my ribs, I'd raised my own sword to counteract him.

Kazama's smirk intensified as I blocked his attack with relative ease and my own lips twitched in pride as his blade failed to get near its target. This small triumph provided me with a well-needed boost of confidence and newfound determination to at least get close to landing a blow no matter how long it took.

Letting out a rough exhalation as I lurched towards him with all my strength, I attempted for the third time to wind him with the hilt of my kodachi.

Whether it was just to humour me or not I didn't know, but I couldn't care less as my hilt connected with his abdomen.

Choosing to ignore the suspicion that he'd let me win, he raised his hand to stop the hilt before it could dig too deep. 'Well done. Your aim was better that time. Had I let you follow through with the move then you may just have succeeded in winding me.' He congratulated, allowing me to keep my hilt pressed against his stomach as my reward.

When I eventually took it away not even I could hide my smile.

The victory was marginal and probably had been permitted but it was still a victory to me. To have gone the rest of the 3 weeks fighting Kazama and losing each time would have been infuriating _and_ discouraging so I was glad he'd granted me a taste of achievement. My next goal was to win without him allowing it.

That would _truly_ satisfy me.

Simpering at my pride, Kazama suddenly sheathed his katana. 'You've demonstrated to me that you're capable of using at least one of the non-combat techniques properly. The second one is a little harder to practice but I think the first is all you'll need for now. We have plenty of time to master them.' He said, placing his hand on the hilt of his katana.

I was pleased he thought I'd done well but I didn't know if we were doing anything else. 'So what are we doing now? Is that all for our sword lesson?' I asked, unsure if I should sheathe my kodachi.

Kazama shrugged non-committedly, studying my face. 'If you wish we can start the ascent and decent lesson. If I believe that you've grasped the basics of this then we can always resume our sword training afterwards if it would please you. There is no reason why we cannot have another lesson tonight.' He suggested, his fingers darting out to push a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

When he touched me I felt my whole body mellow, an internal surge of satisfaction curling downwards through my being.

As he pulled away I struggled to contain the weakness that he'd incited in my legs. 'I suppose we can start the next lesson.' I murmured, distracted briefly from my fear of heights by the way he was looking at me. There was no one else on this planet that could make me feel this way just from eye contact.

I was grateful when he spared me from his gaze, his eyes shifting to behind me as if he was looking for somewhere to start. 'Very well. I believe that here is a good place for your first lesson. How good are you at climbing trees?' He asked, raising an eyebrow as I narrowed my eyes at him.

What kind of a question was that?

Noting my perplexity Kazama chuckled. 'I was taught how to jump and fall using trees and this is how I will also train you. As it is easier to fall this is what I will instruct you to do first and depending on how well you fare we will move onto jumping. I will not make you climb upwards though, instead I will carry you. Come.' He beckoned, holding out his hand for me to take.

I was nervous to begin but I took his hand anyway, embarrassed as he pulled me closer to him.

It was extremely unlike me to let him pick me up without complaint but not only did I not want to climb any trees but I also enjoyed it when he held me. I knew I always acted inconvenienced but in reality I liked being in his arms and having him so close, close enough that I could touch and smell him. It was something I'd tried to persuade myself that I'd hated but there was no use denying it now.

With each passing day it grew harder for me to lie to myself about these things.

With one hasty movement Kazama swept me up into his arms, holding me there without moving for a while as if he was relishing the sight. 'I will jump with you to the third highest branch. If you feel comfortable falling from there then we shall try again on a higher one.' He said, looking up at the tree beside us as he analysed how far up he was going to make me fall from.

I swallowed, butterflies swarming my stomach for more reasons than anxiety. 'Oh, ok. So how far can onis fall and jump?' I asked, fiddling with my tunic as he started to walk towards the base of the tree. It was tall and wide with thick branches covered in dark green vines, growing so densely in some places that it would have been impossible to jump upwards. However, it was the tree with the straightest branches; perfect for standing on.

Kazama tipped his head back to stare at the very top of the tree, the light trickling down from above casting stripes of gold across his face. 'The higher you fall or jump the more energy you need. An oni can fall or jump to any height as long as it they have enough energy and for me I could easily reach the top of this tree and fall from it with just as much ease.' He said proudly.

I tipped my head backwards as well to marvel at the tree beside us, remarking with awe that it was so tall it disappeared into the leafy canopy above.

Could he really jump that high without using all his energy?

Before I could admire his ability for too much longer he jostled me softly in his arms. 'Hold on, Chizuru.' He directed, pulling me tighter against him.

I did what he'd said with no resistance, resting my cheek against his chest and digging my fingers into his shirt.

It wasn't long afterwards that I closed my eyes, sponging in his warmth as he cradled me against him. I was no stranger to being held like this both in recent times and as a child as in my flashback he'd had me against him in a similar way. Each time I was in his arms it grew harder to maintain the façade that I disliked it and by now he must have known that wasn't the case. And given my recent surrenders I was almost certain he was growing suspicious about my true feelings.

All of a sudden I was hit with the strong pressure of gravity as he leapt into the air.

Squeaking in surprise, I clutched onto him harder as the ground fell away. We were only air bound for a second or two but it seemed like forever before he settled on a branch and the blurriness of my vision disappeared. My heart was beating furiously behind my breast but when I saw how high up we were it practically stopped.

It hadn't looked very high up from the ground but now that we were here I could feel my courage fading fast.

Kazama was still holding me when he peered over the edge, down at the ground 10 metres below. 'I'm going to place you down beside me now, Chizuru.' He warned, looking back to examine my very hastily paling face.

I was terrified.

I wanted to tell him that I was scared but even the thought of me having to jump down to the ground took all the words from my mouth. I should have asked to jump off a lower branch first or maybe to try to jump off or out of something a little less daunting than a tree and it traumatised me to ponder what would happen if I didn't do it properly or if I failed. I wouldn't die from this height but it would most likely result in serious injury.

What would I do?

Sighing, Kazama held me tighter to try and bring my attention back to him. 'If you aren't ready then we can try again another day.' He suggested, offering me an escape route.

Although I would have appreciated it, I also knew I couldn't put this off forever.

I licked my dry lips and turned away from the drop so I could speak properly. 'No… it's ok. But maybe we could try on a lower branch?' I presented, peering up at him with hopeful eyes, but unfortunately I knew what the look on his face meant even before he spoke. 'Anything lower than this height wouldn't require you to use your oni strength. A human could fall from the next lowest branch and still be fine and so we must be high enough that the fall requires energy. This is the minimal height that's required to improve your falling and jumping.' He told me, maybe regretful that for once he couldn't give me what I wanted.

I understood what he meant but I was still disappointed.

Biting my lip anxiously, I nodded. 'I understand. And I think I may be ok but… I'll just need some time to prepare myself.' I said, having to force the words out. My throat was tight with fear and my legs were already beginning to shake and I had no clue how I was supposed to maintain concentration over my oni strength if I was so blinded by distress. What if I accidentally lost control of the power and it fled my limbs? If that happened then I'd land on the ground and probably break both my ankles!

After a minute I allowed Kazama to place me down next to him.

When my feet touched the branch and he helped me straighten, I didn't unthread my fingers from his shirt nor did I step away. As far as I was concerned he was the only thing keeping me alive right now. Every time I looked over the side and down at the ground I felt queasy and petrified and a whole range of other unpleasant emotions and so I just avoided looking, keeping my eyes trained on the man in front.

And he was looking right back at me.

Kazama, who was utterly unaffected by the height, let me clutch onto him as he prepared me for what was to come. 'This is the exact same process as using your oni strength to crush stones.' He said, his warmth radiating onto my trembling body. 'You need to pool the energy into your legs and hold it there and once you've done that then you're free to jump down. Your energy will protect your legs from injury by absorbing the force of the fall so the higher you fall from the more power is required to absorb the impact. I will jump down with you.' He promised, his hand moving from his side to my hand.

He plucked it carefully from his shirt, threading his fingers through mine.

When his warmth seeped into me I found the weakness in my legs fading. Kazama always knew what to do to calm me down and I was very thankful for his compassion as I was feeling extremely uncomfortable with the task I was faced with.

But as our eyes met and his hold on my body tightened, the fear started to retreat ever so slowly. It was as if my mind knew that of all things Kazama would never let anything hurt me.

And so before I knew it, the words had already fled my lips.

'I'm ready.' I said.

Before I could freak out too much at what I'd agreed to do, a flash of pride surfaced in Kazama's eyes. 'Very well. Tell me when you've summoned the necessary power and we will attempt a fall.' He bid, refusing to let me go until I was ready to be released.

Hastily closing my eyes to block out my surroundings, I sourced the power inside my body.

Each and every time I did this is grew so much easier for me to both find and use my own energy. I couldn't believe that there'd ever been a time where I hadn't known how to both find and use it as it seemed so obvious now, so engrained into me that I was surprised I'd never seen the golden glow of power every time I'd closed my eyes in the past.

Meditation had taught me how to find this power. Meditation and Kazama.

Snatching a bundle of glowing tendrils from the dark pit of my mind, I coaxed them upwards out of the black and into a space where I could manipulate them more freely. They didn't fight me or thrash around like they used to, instead every so often they would twitch almost in anticipation of being used.

Did that mean I'd finally fully tamed them?

I wasn't sure, but it mattered not when I lured them down through my legs.

When I was ready I opened my eyes and glared directly into Kazama's. 'Ok, I'm done.' I told him, willingly fixating myself on the handsome features of his face in a desperate bid to distract myself from my nerves.

Pulling me closer to his body, our chests had only just touched when he removed his hand from my side to take my other hand.

Even though he was holding my hands I still felt painfully unsafe. There was nothing keeping me upright apart from my own legs and the contact between our hands. I couldn't believe I was actually going to do this and of my own free will as well.

My sanity was questionable at the moment.

Once he'd grasped both of my hands he gave me his last words of guidance. 'When you land make sure you bend your knees. If you either lose hold of your power or feel like you can't do it then squeeze my hand and I'll pull you into my arms. I know you'll be fine though, Chizuru. I wouldn't ask you to do this if I thought you weren't capable of it.' He said, releasing one of my hands to tilt my head to face him.

I was almost exploding with the combined intensity of my embarrassment and anxiety, but it wasn't long after that he told me to face the drop.

We moved to stand side by side, my right hand in his left one, and a wave of terror almost wiped me out as I looked over the edge.

It was impossible for me to envisage falling from this height and not becoming injured. I wasn't even sure if it would hurt or if I'd still feel the jolt of the landing and it was impossible for me to ask Kazama now given how my throat had officially sealed over. The only thing in my head right now apart from dread was an incessant voice trying to persuade me I wasn't going to die.

 _You'll be fine. Kazama's right beside you. He would never let you get hurt._

Taking in a shaky breath, I kept my mind firmly clamped on the power in my legs so it wouldn't flee in my moment of weakness. 'Ok, Kazama-san. Let's just get it over with.' I mumbled unenthusiastically, staring down at my legs as if it would be last time I saw them in one piece.

Recognising that if he waited any longer I would faint, Kazama held my hand with more force. 'Shall I count to 3?' He asked, maybe humorously, but as I gave him an irritated glare he sighed. 'When I step off, you step off with me.' He said, and I nodded to convey my approval.

It was torture waiting for him to step off the ledge, especially because I noticed the body language that suggested he was about to; the narrowing of his eyes, the twitch of his lips, and the tightening of his hand around mine. They all let me know that soon I'd be plummeting to the ground.

And then, to my horror, Kazama stepped off the branch.

For a second I was so stricken with fear that my mind went fully blank, just as feet abandoned the comforting feeling of a solid surface underneath them. I was left in limbo for a few seconds before my brain registered I was falling and I couldn't even scream as the strength of gravity drew me back to the earth.

All I could focus on was making sure the power stayed in my legs, but as I looked to the side at Kazama I saw an interesting expression. He was almost smiling at the thrill of the decent, his hair swept upwards with the wind instead of hanging loosely around his face, and when he realised I was staring at him he turned his head to look at me as well.

It was then that I felt it.

His mind, easing over mine.

It had been so long since I'd spoken to him telepathically, well at least it felt that way, so I didn't bother calculating whether or not I wanted to let him in or not. I did so instantly and without thought and the relief I felt as his mind flooded into my own was blissful, a brief mask over the panic I still felt from freefalling.

His presence seeped into every corner of my mind.

Once he'd been accepted he wasted no time. _We are about to land, Chizuru. Don't forget to bend your knees_ : he reminded me, shifting his gaze to the quickly approaching soil.

I immediately looked down too and got ready for the impact, wincing even before I'd hit the ground.

 _Bend your knees. Bend your knees and keep the power firmly in your legs_ , I chanted over and over again like I might forget it.

And when the ground finally did rush up to meet me, I did exactly what I was supposed to do.

As I bent my knees and automatically morphed into a squat I grit my teeth for what should have been pain and jarring. But I felt nothing. It was as if I'd merely jumped off a step or down off Yuki and I was so startled that I stayed in a squatting position long after Kazama and I had reached the earth.

My body was rippling with adrenaline, my mind was fizzing with shock, but under that was something else that was beginning to form.

Pride.

I'd done it.

Kazama raised from his own squat and pulled me up with him, unsure what to make of my dazed face. _You did it_ : he remarked, pulling me back to him as close as he'd held me in the tree; chest to chest.

As a blush crept over my cheeks, I worked hard on trying to calm my breathing from the aftermath _. I can't believe I did…I was really scared_ : I admitted, noticing that my hands were shaking.

Kazama noticed it too so he took them into his, flustering me with a slight but appealing smirk. _I knew you could do it. The only thing that would have stopped you from succeeding was yourself but you did well to conquer your fear. I must say I'm proud of you_ : he congratulated, his smirk increasing in smugness as he saw the redness on my face, and I only blushed deeper at his praise. _Thank you, Kazama-san. And thank you too for… reassuring me. It really did help… and stuff_ : I murmured awkwardly into his head, unable to bear the fire in his piercing eyes anymore.

Kazama chuckled at my embarrassment, before doing something completely unexpected.

He pulled me against him.

As I sunk into his chest my eyes widened, my own arms automatically raising to return to embrace, albeit with a little more uncertainty. I was unsure whether to be suspicious or mortified but until I made up my mind I allowed myself to dwell on how nice it was and how pleasant it could be to be nestled against him in this way. I didn't know why he'd suddenly hugged me or for how long he planned on doing it but for just this once, just for this moment, I decided to permit it without complaint.

Sliding his hand through my hair, I felt the rumble of another chuckle in his chest. 'And stuff?' He highlighted, reminding me of what I'd said just 30 seconds ago but had already forgotten.

It took me a while to think of what I meant because I was so absorbed in the moment. 'Well… I meant for everything. Thanks for teaching me all these things… in general.' I clarified awkwardly, my voice muffled against his clothing.

My face was on fire so I was glad I could hide it against his shirt but I was certain he could feel the heat even through the fabric.

Suddenly Kazama put some distance between us, the humour in his eyes replaced with something a little more serious, but he concealed it pretty quickly. 'Then shall we try again, Chizuru?' He posed, lifting my hand to kiss it.

I was mesmerised by the sight of his lips on my skin but I managed to stammer an answer. 'Uh… I suppose. But not on a higher branch. At least not yet.' I spluttered as he gestured me for to come closer so he could pick me up.

The second time he held me it was probably more embarrassing because of how we'd just embraced but I got over it rather hastily when I was reminded that once again I'd have to face my fear of heights.

However, I was startled to find I was… excited. Now that I knew what to expect when I fell it was easier to feel less anxious about it and to my surprise I realised I enjoyed the thrill. Above all I was proud of myself and that pride was addictive as was the satisfaction I received from Kazama whenever I did something right.

I liked it when he was proud of me.

Kazama came to stand at the base of the same tree we'd fallen from, peering up at the foliage. 'Don't let go.' He advised, his way of saying we were about to jump, and so I obliged.

When he leapt into the air I wasn't as scared this time. When I thought about it, it was really quite remarkable that him and I were both capable of such a feat and I couldn't deny it was quite amazing to have a new perception of the forest from this height as well. It was bizarre yet exhilarating to see everything from this point of view.

When both his feet were planted firmly on the branch he let me go. 'Is your power still in your legs?' He asked, holding onto my forearms while I steadied myself.

I nodded, taking a quick glance over the edge and finding relief in how it didn't frighten me as much as it had. 'Yes. I think I'm ready to try again.' I said as he arranged us so we were standing side to side. I was disappointed that my legs had started to tremble again but for the most part I was feeling much better than previously even though I was beginning to feel kind of ill after seeing how high we were again.

Kazama eyed me cautiously as my face failed to hide my uncertainty. 'Do you wish to step off first this time or shall I?' He inquired, his eyes darting over my face while he assessed exactly how scared I was.

Putting on a brave face, I tried to sound confident. 'I'll do it.' I said, although I was internally questioning whether I'd actually be able to bring myself to do it. At least last time it had been up to Kazama to decide when we stepped off the branch and with this responsibility now placed upon me it was probable I'd crack under the pressure.

Turning back to the drop, Kazama nodded. 'In that case, go ahead.'

When he'd given me the all clear I stared back down at the drop with a gulp.

We really were so high. It was strange because from the ground it appeared to be a rather short fall but now that I was up here, for the second time no less, it seemed to be several more metres higher than it actually was. That was probably only due to my lingering fear so I pushed it to the side as much as I could and told myself that it wasn't that bad.

And I wasn't lying either.

I knew as soon as I hit the ground that I would feel what I did last time; pride and satisfaction.

So without another moment of hesitation I jumped off the branch.

When gravity seized me for the second time I sucked in a short breath, keeping my eyes chained to the ground below. Last time I'd been distracted by Kazama which could have ended badly so this time I stayed focused. He gripped my hand firmly but didn't initiate a telepathic link, allowing me to concentrate on what I was doing and as I grew closer to the earth I prepared myself to land with bent knees.

Letting out a soft squeak as my feet connected with the ground once again, it was only when I'd already landed that I realised my feet had been too close together.

Squealing as I fell backwards, I reached out to Kazama to save me from hitting the dirt. My hands dug into his shirt, pulling him down as well with the weight and force, and I only registered that he was leaning over my body when he raised an eyebrow at how desperately my hands had dug into him.

But even though he was literally on top of me I couldn't make a move to push him away.

Smirking, Kazama stayed where he was. 'Ah, so this is what you want.' He purred, showing more and more of his old self now that he knew I didn't hate him. He'd really been keeping himself and his suggestive comments on hold for these past few days as to not irk me more than he already had.

Bursting into crimson, I didn't know what to say. With unfathomable horror I realised I liked him this close, practically on top of my body, but of course there was no way I was going to broadcast that to him. I needed to pull away and I needed to do it now or at least scold him or something but I couldn't.

I couldn't do it, because that voice had begun yet again.

 _Give in to him._

I wanted to silence that voice forever once and for all. I hated it, not because of what it said but because it was playing upon how weak I'd become over the past few weeks and especially over these last couple of days. It was encouraging me to indulge in something I'd tried so hard to escape but couldn't, at least not anymore, and a fate that I promised myself and everyone around me that I wouldn't entertain.

That fate was Kazama.

That voice and the recent pleasure I drew from surrender was a dangerous concoction so why did I not want to move? Why was I laying underneath him without so much as a singular objection, without an ounce of dispute? Whatever willpower I had left had now been obliterated by the way his eyes were starting to change, shifting from humorous to something a little more sombre, as if he could read my mind.

He was looking at me without jest now. He was analysing me. Trying to see if what I wanted was what he wanted, but he wouldn't make that move until he'd received the sign he was looking for.

But when it didn't come, he went to raise himself.

Averting my eyes from mine for a change, he cleared his throat. 'Uh… we should head back. We have about half an hour of riding left until we reach the next village.' He said, going to pull himself off my body although rather hesitantly.

I was crushed.

I was faced with the exact same situation as I had been last night by the fire and also all the times he'd helped me down from Yuki. But this time it was a little more serious. What I wanted was something I'd silently promised to another man, something I couldn't get back once I'd given it, and I knew that whatever happened today was not something we could forget about if it did happen. If I gave him what he… well, what _we_ , both wanted then I didn't know how it would affect us.

Was I even sure this was what I wanted? All these years of hoping I'd share my first kiss with Hijikata and so the mere thought of doing so with Kazama was somewhat alien. _And_ embarrassing.

But I did know that regardless of my fears and uncertainties I knew how I felt. It was true that I'd always thought I would share my first kiss with Hijikata and I felt guilty knowing how much I craved the experience with Kazama, but I didn't know how much more I could take of lying to myself.

And so before he could fully pull himself away, I reached out to grab his shirt.

Immediately Kazama went rigid.

His eyes widened at the suddenness of my action, all traces of any emotion besides shock withering away, and he refused to break eye contact even when I said nothing.

My heart was going crazy as he stared down at me with an expression as startled as the ones I often made, wondering what on earth to do next. With each passing second I was growing less and less sure of myself and also more terrified, thousands of times more afraid than I had while falling out of the tree looming above us, but it was a kind of fear that I may yet come to crave.

It was the fear of intimacy, a thrilling type of fear I could feel reverberating throughout my bones.

With a face more scarlet than it had ever been, I melted from the fire in his eyes. 'Kazama-san…' I murmured, silently begging him not to make me tell him aloud what I wanted.

When I said his name he swallowed, an expression on his face that told me he couldn't believe this was happening. I couldn't believe it either. Even 5 minutes ago I couldn't have predicted this would occur.

 _God… what was I doing?_

Gazing down at me with large eyes, I heard him swallow. 'Chizuru…' He murmured, his eyes shifting from my eyes to my lips. 'If you want me to stop…' he trailed off, definitely the most flustered I'd ever seen him, and seeing him so timid made me even more frazzled.

There was no way I could have responded verbally as my ability to speak had long since died so instead I shook my head and hoped that he wouldn't make me say it aloud.

Forcing myself to calm down, my hands found the sides of his neck. His skin was burning, feverish even, but as I touched him I felt like I'd crossed a hurdle. It seemed like that had been the final sign he'd needed too because all of a sudden he put all his weight on me, his hand tightening in my hair and his other arm curving under my back. Shyly I reflected on how I liked the weight of his body and how he sunk into my own but more importantly I adored the way he held me.

He held me tightly, with fervour, as if I was the only thing he'd ever wanted.

Almost crushing me with his weight, he leaned down further to close the distance. But his first point of contact wasn't my lips; it was the soft skin beside my ear.

The sensation of his mouth on me was like being winded. Instantly it sparked a fire inside my body, a flame that until now I'd never felt no matter what he'd said or done.

Was it… lust? Was it something else?

I couldn't care less at the moment, quite frankly, because I had other things to think about.

My entire body went into overdrive as his lips parted ever so slightly to taste my flesh, making my hair stand on end and my toes curl, and when he continued his trail of soft kisses up my jaw my fingers subconsciously tightened in his hair. His eyes were closed, his eyelashes brushing every so often against my cheek, and by the time he'd reached the corner of my mouth I'd abandoned all attempts at rational thought.

Whatever he'd been able to do to me and my body before was nothing compared to now. I wanted it, more than I had 10 seconds ago and less than I would in another 10, and I knew he knew that too.

He was _teasing_ me.

When I drew in a sharp breath he opened his eyes, sucking me into their garnet depths and requesting one last silent sign that I wanted to follow through.

So I gave him the most obvious sign of all; I began to pull him down myself.

 _ **CRACK!**_

Before our lips met I heard the snap of a branch to my left.

Hauling Kazama off me with all my strength, he landed on his back with a small gasp of surprise.

He was so stunned by my sudden movement that he didn't even make a move to get up straight away. He stared across at me with wide eyes like he'd done something wrong, the look on his face maybe even offended, and he was so shocked that he didn't even try to look for whatever had interrupted our almost-kiss in the first place.

But I could see it.

Well, _him_.

I could see Shiranui, who had unintentionally stepped on a stick while trying to sneak away.

When he saw that I'd noticed him he bit his lip and cringed. His facial expression held more guilt than I'd ever seen but most apparent of all was the fear of the chastisement Kazama would unleash upon him when he'd fully recovered from the sting of rejection. Even amongst my embarrassment I could empathise because Kazama would be _livid_ when he'd processed the situation.

Brushing off my pants as I hastily got to my feet, I attempted to at least act like I hadn't had Kazama on top of me. 'Uh… Shiranui-san. What are you doing?' I asked, my voice wavering enough to cause concern.

Before he could reply, I sensed a wave of uncontrollable rage from the man beside me.

Kazama scrambled to his feet, fists already clenched, and as I turned to the side to look at him a shiver of irrepressible fear travelled down my body. His eyes were already gold, his teeth gritted, and even before anyone else spoke his hair was already beginning to wash white.

I'd never seen him so angry. _Ever_.

Gripping the hilt of his sword like he was planning on shedding blood, he used his other hand to point at Shiranui cowering beside a tree. 'What the _fuck_ are you doing here?' He bellowed, essentially asking the same question I had but a bit more colourfully.

Both Shiranui and I winced at his tone and language, but he wasn't done yet.

Dropping his hand to his side, he dug his nails so hard into his palm that they started to pierce his flesh. 'Remind me once again how it is that you hail from the clan of stealth, when you cannot even contain yourself from stepping on a goddamn _twig_. Whoever raised you should be exiled for unleashing such blatant incompetency upon this earth!' He boomed, his hair beginning to float around his face.

Too terrified to intervene just yet, I could only watch as Shiranui attempted to provide an excuse.

He scratched his head rather casually for someone who was probably about to get cut in half. 'Well, actually… it's rather hard to explain. You see we have a bit of a… a situation.' He offered to the man in front of him who appeared to find that far from a satisfactory excuse.

Kazama ground his teeth together and flexed the fingers holding his katana. 'Is it perhaps a situation that could have waited another _30_ _fucking_ _seconds_? I hope for your sake it's dire because if not I'm going to slit you open right now. And I'm going to take my time.' He threatened venomously, his tone scathingly furious.

I really had never seen Kazama so incensed before. It was almost a whole other emotion of its own.

Shiranui pouted like he found the idea rather unfair but thankfully he didn't voice it. 'Well, to cut a long story short, something tells me we won't be staying in any villages tonight. Amagiri stumbled upon news that the town's being attacked by a band of monster men with white hair so...' He mumbled, lifting his eyes precariously to his master who was still seething.

As soon as Shiranui's words had entered my ears I gasped in horror.

The news had completely erased any and all mortification I felt from having been caught with Kazama. There were people dying only half an hour from here and who knew how many were yet to be slaughtered! There was no way I was going to stand here knowing that I could be of at least some help to those who were suffering and even if there was only the slightest chance we could stop the rasetsus then we had to try.

I didn't want to see another burnt down village. Not after the last one, and not after my own.

Rotating to face Kazama, I saw that he'd relaxed a little but was still teeming with rage. 'Then we adjust our course. As much as I'd like to rid the country of those fake vermin that's not our priority right now and I can't put Chizuru in danger by bringing her closer to a battlefield. It's likely the village is already past saving anyway.' He snapped, eyes still gold even though his hair had faded back to blonde.

Gaping at Kazama, I was almost too appalled by what he'd said to react. 'What? We can't just leave them! There could be survivors!' I cried, stepping closer to him as if that would strengthen my appeal.

When Kazama turned to me I blushed as fresh scenes of our recent intimacy surfaced.

Likewise his anger softened as well, but his resolution did not. 'We are not going. This isn't negotiable.' He said sternly, his irises fading back to red.

I recoiled from his determination, heartbroken even though I'd expected it.

I was aware Kazama hated humans but still I refused to believe their lives meant that little to him that he'd rather ignore the reality that they were being slaughtered just a few kilometres away. With his abilities and his strength, combined with those of Shiranui and Amagiri, they could easily wipe out the perpetrators within 15 minutes if they wanted to. I was sure they knew that too.

It was only Kazama's distaste for humans getting in the way.

Crossing my arms, I saw Kazama inwardly sigh as he saw my own determination. 'But what if they finish there then go somewhere else? What if they keep on pillaging? We can't let that happen if we have the power to stop it.' I put forth ardently, but once again Kazama would not hear it. 'Chizuru, we are not going. We will bypass the area and stop at the next village. We have enough supplies to last us 4 more days.' He stated like it was a good thing that we were condemning possibly hundreds of people to their deaths.

I was suddenly so mad that I had to narrow my eyes but Shiranui stepped in before I could spout another rebuttal. 'Perhaps we should just go back to Amagiri and work out what we are going to do from there.' He suggested, intending to diffuse the inevitable argument that was going to occur between Kazama and I.

All he got in return was a savage glare from Kazama. 'You are in no position to suggest _anything_ , might I remind you. Once this whole thing is dealt with then I'm going to deal with _you_ as well.' He hissed, reaching over without warning to take my hand.

I flinched at the contact but concealed my surprise as he faced me next. 'Come. We will go back to Amagiri.' He said in a low voice, like he didn't want Shiranui to hear that we were technically doing what was suggested anyway.

Capitulating just this once, I allowed him to lead be back in the direction that we'd come from.

As soon as we were back with Amagiri I would take this up with him again. If he thought I was going to back down this easily then he had another thing coming and he better have believed I was going to try my hardest to persuade him. The only difference between a human and an oni was the fact onis had powers and it should have been obvious that the lives of both were equal. These people had done nothing wrong and didn't deserve to die.

Shiranui trailed behind us several metres away, this time careful not to step on any twigs.

Pushing my anger aside for the meantime the first thing that came to mind was how embarrassed I was that Shiranui had found us. I could only imagine how… _lewd_ it would have looked seeing as though Kazama had _literally_ been on top of me, with my legs either side of his hips and his hands all over my body…

Urgh, once this whole thing was over I was going to _die_. He was guaranteed to tease me about this whenever he could from now on and the mere thought of it was unbearable. Not only that but now Kazama knew for sure how I felt; if not, then he at least had become aware that I was eager to kiss him. If I'd been willing once then I'd be willing again and from now on he would be bound to try in the future now that he knew I wanted it.

But even though I was so mortified I couldn't bring myself to have any regrets. I could still feel the heat of his kisses along my jaw and the soft tugging of his fingers in my hair, the physical ways he'd shown me that he'd coveted me. He'd told me time and time again that I was the subject of his desire but it hadn't been until today that I'd truly known what that meant.

To be desired by someone was elating.

By the time we reached Amagiri I had developed a chronic blush, my cheeks so red that they almost produced their own glow.

When we arrived within the clearing he looked up from his sitting position to observe our entry but it was Kazama that addressed him first. 'We will take a detour to the south. It will add some extra time onto our travel but it's not an unreasonable distance. Get the horses ready and we will leave without delay.' He posed, employing a softer tone with Amagiri than he had with the blue haired oni behind me.

Amagiri obediently raised himself off the grass and I took that as my cue to jump in.

'I'm not going.' I said, blunt but to the point.

Kazama paused momentarily, exhaling as if he was preparing himself for a child's tantrum. 'Chizuru.' He said, facing me calmly. 'If I have to I will pick you up and strap you to the horse. We are _not_ going to the village for a whole host of reasons, one of those being that you'll get hurt.' He prophesised, about to turn around to return to Yuki.

I forced myself to contain my distress.

I couldn't care less about whether or not I got hurt. I was still a beginner at using my sword and my powers but I was certain I'd be able to hold my own at least for a while and if worst came to worst then that's what I'd do. I refused to go with them if they were going to pretend like this never happened but if there was one thing I'd learned it was that Kazama didn't respond well to anger. Although I felt like yelling I didn't want to do that now, especially not after we'd shared such an intimate moment, so I reeled in my frustration for long enough to try a different approach.

Reaching out to take his hand I moved a step closer to him. 'Kazama-san. You know I can't leave those people behind. I'm not going with you if you're leaving.' I said, guarding a stern face even though his eyes were growing more and more severe. He was becoming frustrated with my incompliance but that had always been inevitable anyway.

Kazama frowned, his lips twisting at my defiance. 'Chizuru, I won't say yes to this. No matter how large and pleading your eyes get. I've said it once and I'll say it again; this is not negotiable.' He confirmed.

I was in despair. He really wasn't going to budge, not even after I'd taken the gentle yet stern approach with him. I was so distraught by knowing we were going to abandon a whole village to the hands of rasetsus, a village filled with women and children and husbands, and just imagining their screams of terror sickened me to the very core. It reminded me of all the snippets of fire and death I remembered about my own village's demise.

This was the same thing, just with a different species.

Shaking my head as tears rose to my eyes, I clenched my fists. 'Would you have saved my village if you could?' I asked, fighting against the trembling in my voice.

When Kazama saw I was getting upset he didn't answer straight away. He knew this was a trap but he also knew he couldn't let it go unanswered because then it would prove the very point I was trying to make.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighed for the thousandth time. 'Of course I would have. You already know that.' He mumbled, going to turn away from me but I took his hand and made sure he couldn't get away. 'So what's the difference here? Because they don't have powers? They are less deserving of life because they don't have powers?' I interrogated, noticing I was making him uncomfortable.

Tensing from head to toe, he grit his teeth. 'It's not about powers. It's about their integrity, their morals. They're bloodthirsty and you can't see it because you're young but as long as there are humans there is greed. This is just the circle of life.' He counteracted, stirring mixed feelings of disbelief and hurt inside me.

I recoiled from him but didn't let go of his hand. 'How can you question their integrity and morals when you're standing right in front of me saying it's perfectly acceptable to allow the murder of hundreds of people? By what you've told me, Kazama-san, onis are not exempt from greed either. You've said in the past that there has been war between oni clans. There has been murder and deceit, like the deceit I uncovered just days ago from _you_.So don't lecture me about morals.' I accused, pointing a finger at him. 'Now if you don't mind, I'm going now.' I snapped, tears finally spilling from my eyes.

Kazama withdrew a little from my deceit comment but he didn't display any signs that what I'd said had moved him.

When he had no answer I turned on my heel and went to stalk off into the forest, disappointed that the very man I'd wanted to give my first kiss to was being such a… such an _arsehole_. I was sure I could get by on what he'd taught me so far about my abilities and coupled with my clan power of healing I felt I would fare quite well on the battlefield despite my lack of sword skills.

If he didn't want to help me then I'd do it myself.

Suddenly Kazama tugged me back, spinning me around to face him. 'Fine. I'll go.' He snapped, narrowing his eyes at me. 'And the village is _this_ way. Get on the horse.' He ordered darkly, a stark contrast to how sweet he'd been during our lesson but I could see he was suffering from injured pride. Once again he'd given me what I wanted, once again he'd been powerless to resist my doe eyes and teary face, and normally I would have dwelled on how much power that gave me but I was much too preoccupied with thoughts of the village.

Letting me go, he stalked over to Yuki and grumpily adjusted the saddle. He wasn't as angry as he'd been with Shiranui but he was certainly irked at the whole situation and I could practically hear the curse words in his thoughts as he mounted Yuki and turned to give me a sharp look to hurry me up.

Scuttling over to him, I accepted his offer to aid me in mounting just as Amagiri and Shiranui got on their own horses.

Settling against his back I wrapped my arms around him. 'Thank you, Kazama-san.' I murmured into his cape, and for the briefest of seconds I squeezed him tighter so he knew that I meant it. It would not have been easy for him to agree to this and I was honoured that he was doing this seemingly because of me.

Grunting, Kazama didn't turn back to look at me. 'You can thank me later.' He mumbled, but his tone was softer than it had been moments ago.

I went bright red at his comment.

I knew _exactly_ what kind of thanks he wanted.

Blushing with my cheek pressed against his back, the memories of our 'lesson' flooded my head. I couldn't believe how much I'd wanted it. Even without the touch of his lips on mine I felt like I craved it and I knew he'd try to kiss me again now that he knew I was willing. He'd suggested he wanted to do so after this ordeal was over, so would I let him?

Something told me that I would.

Biting my lip as Kazama turned to the others, his voice was gruff. 'Once we get close we will find a place to tie up the horses and _you_ ,' he snapped, pointing to Shiranui. '…will be the one to guard them. Now let's go.' He commanded.

Shiranui's face fell at having to miss out on yet another exciting adventure but he valued his life enough not to challenge it.

As soon as my arms had tightened around in him anticipation for Yuki's gallop, he dug his heels into her side.

The others followed close behind as we picked up pace, leaving only clouds of dirt behind us, and I closed my eyes to stop the air from making them water. While Kazama and I were enveloped in silence I took the opportunity to ready myself for what I was going to see. I had seen blood so many times before but it wasn't something I enjoyed and I knew that I would be easily broken down by seeing grief and suffering but I wouldn't let that stop me from doing what needed to be done.

At this point in time I didn't know if I'd be able even to kill a rasetsu but I supposed only time would tell. I would do anything to save an innocent person just like I'd do anything to save one of my friends and even though I could be brazen sometimes I knew I wasn't stupid.

I wouldn't put my life in danger unnecessary and Kazama wouldn't let me do it either.

He would never let anything happen to me.

* * *

 **Ending notes**

Freck this chapter was hard to write haha. That scene between Kazama and Chizuru makes me cringe hardcore every time I read it but hopefully you found it somewhat enjoyable! Get ready for some cool chapters after this and thanks for reading!

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	43. A silver bullet

**Sorry for the long time between the last update but I was very, very busy with my research project (kill me). Anyway thank you SO MUCH for being patient and here is another chapter, a bit of a longer one this time. Get prepared for some awesomeness.**

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By the way everyone, there was an issue with Fanfiction . net which resulted in my story not showing up as updated! If it happens again with this chapter I'm going to die because I sent Support an email weeks ago letting them know of the issue so hopefully they've resolved it in that time.

 **WARNING: coarse language and violence**

* * *

 **A silver bullet**

For the second time since I'd started the journey I found myself riding towards a village raid.

So far there was no one trampling through the forest trying to escape the battle and the lack of people escaping forced me to consider if everyone had already been killed. If rasetsus were really there then there would be no way a human could outrun or escape them.

Swallowing, I began to mentally prepare myself for what I was about to face.

I was scared for myself as well as for the villagers. I'd never been in a real fight before or at least not one where I would have to rely on my sword skills for a prolonged period of time. My anxiety was building the closer we got but I still considered the feeling of dread as a small price to pay to save another's life. I would have willingly rode into battle many more time to save others from this kind of fate and I was thankful of Kazama for coming with me. For him to do something like this, to willingly save a village of humans, it meant that he truly cared for me.

Suddenly Kazama tugged on Yuki's reins, bringing her to a stop beside a dense collection of trees.

The others stopped too when they saw that we had come to a pause, their horses' chests heaving underneath their ankles from the strain of galloping. We'd stopped to travel the rest of the way on foot as it was unwise to stroll into a battlefield unstealthily and riding our horses into the village would only attract attention.

Without another wasted moment Kazama slipped down from Yuki.

Blushing as he looked up at me, I was surprised to see a severe look on his face. He didn't offer to help me down or get prepared for battle; instead his eyes acquired the stern glint they always had when he was about to give an order he knew I wouldn't follow.

Narrowing his eyes even more, his expression turned even graver. 'Stay here with Shiranui. Amagiri and I will return soon.' He said, his voice tight as he feared my refusal.

And his fear was well realised.

I shook my head and went to dismount as well. 'I'm going with you.' I said resolutely, but both of Kazama's hands came up to press against my thighs to stop me from slipping off the saddle. Such an action normally would have set me on fire but not when I was feeling so obstinate.

Every second we spent arguing could cost another life.

Kazama's hands tightened on my thighs as he sensed my resistance. 'You're not ready for battle yet no matter what you think. Especially against rasetsus. I will not put your life at risk, Chizuru.' He growled, his frustration flaring at my stubbornness. He was already on a short fuse due to Shiranui's interruption and his own coerced participation and my refusal was not doing his composure any favours.

Unable to back down, I pushed his hands from my legs. 'I'm going and I'll be fine. I'll use what you've taught me.' I tried to reassure him but it only made him angrier. 'What I've taught you isn't enough yet. This isn't another one of our sparring sessions. They will _kill_ you if they get the chance.' He hissed, pressing his lips together as I slid off the horse to the ground.

When I stumbled a little his hand raised to press to my side but the look on his face wasn't compassionate. 'Why can't you just do as I tell you? I don't advise this for fun.' He continued, his forehead creasing ever so slightly but his concern was still not even to cause me to back down.

I was going whether he liked it or not.

I sighed, my eyes flicking down to his hand still on my side. 'Kazama-san, I'll be ok. I know I'll be fine with you there.' I mumbled, my cheeks heating but I refused to let any colour show.

Kazama regarded me with exasperation for a moment, trying to not let it wane because of my comment, but his forehead began to smooth.

Finally he pulled his hand back and slumped his shoulders. 'Fine. But you have to stay right by me the whole time and if even once you walk off or fail to follow an instruction I will not hesitate to drag you back to Shiranui. There will be absolutely _no_ second chances. Is this clear?' He snapped, clenching his fists.

I nodded, knowing better than to say anything.

Staring at me with exhaustion, he pressed his lips together. 'Good. Now listen carefully to what I'm about to say.' He announced begrudgingly, continuing before I could react. 'Once we are there we will assess the amount of soldiers and the amount of rasetsus as no doubt there will be both. Our priority is ridding the village of their presence as quickly as possible. You will _not_ stop to treat the wounded, you will _not_ run off to save any humans, nor will you leave my side to carry out all the other pointless and mindless things you are prone to doing in inappropriate situations. As soon as we are finished we are leaving and this is most definitely _not_ negotiable. We've wasted enough time as it is.' He muttered, his gaze picking me apart.

I nodded, ignoring his 'pointless and mindless' comment. I wanted to counteract it by mentioning how he'd classified a lot of things as also 'not negotiable' recently and I'd managed to persuade him anyway but I decided against it lest he change his mind about taking me. I felt guilty that I had such power over him but then again I'd only used it when I'd had no other choice.

Once he'd finished explaining he released me from his scrutinising glare to turn to Amagiri. 'I will accompany Chizuru and comb the southern side of the village. You filter down from the north and we will meet in the middle. Don't waste time chasing any fleeing human soldiers but leave no rasetsus alive.' He ordered, his tone less vexed with Amagiri.

Amagiri nodded, slipping down from Yoru and preparing to leave with us.

Kazama turned back to me while Amagiri was readying himself. 'We will travel to the village using oni speed. Once we are there and have assessed the amount of soldiers then I will give you your orders. Now come here.' He grumbled unenthusiastically, casting me a dark glare to let me know he wasn't pleased with the arrangement.

Obeying wordlessly, I closed the distance between us.

Kazama didn't wait for me to be ready before he scooped me up into his arms. 'Hold on and close your eyes. I doubt you'll like what you see once we get closer and even though any trauma you suffer will be entirely your fault I would still prefer you to retain some innocence.' He said morbidly but his tone was softer now that I was in his arms.

I lowered my head from his burning eyes, trying not to reflect on his harrowing words.

Once I was settled and was holding onto him he sent a scathing glare in Shiranui's direction. 'And _you_.' He snapped. 'Stay here and ensure the horses remain unharmed. If I find out you moved even a _metre_ from this position then there won't be much of you left to regret it.' He barked, bristling with barely contained anger.

Shiranui was struggling to hide his smirk but he knew better than to vex an already vexed Kazama. It would take days for Kazama calm down and even longer for him to get over the interruption so I pitied Shiranui. However, I also couldn't work out if I was also angry or maybe relieved that he'd interrupted us.

If we'd actually kissed then I would have been _much_ too distracted to focus in battle.

Holding me tighter to his chest, he released Shiranui from his wrathful glare and looked back down at me. 'We're going.' He announced, looking from me to Amagiri.

As soon as we had both nodded, the world disintegrated into a smear of colour.

Holding onto his torso tightly, our almost-kiss came to the forefront of my thoughts. Knowing that just half an hour ago I'd had Kazama on top of me was surreal because for so long I thought I'd never have the courage to be so bold. Before we'd left on this journey not once had I considered that we would become what we had, whatever that actually was, and that I would… _like_ him enough to give him my first kiss.

It still seemed so crazy that that had even _happened._ It was bound to change our relationship even more than finding out he was my betrothed. After today he would absolutely try to kiss me again knowing for sure that I wanted it too and the thought made me redden despite the fear in my stomach. Even reminiscing about his lips on my skin and his soft kisses up my jaw was too much and I had no idea what to expect from a real kiss.

Closing my eyes just as he'd instructed previously, an overwhelming sense of guilt suddenly overcame me.

 _Hijikata-san…_

Was I betraying him? In essence we had never officially been dating nor had he expressed any overt feelings for me but I did still _love_ him. I loved him with all of my being and I had for what felt like forever so why had I given Kazama permission to kiss me? I'd had in my head for so long that Hijikata and I would share such a moment together.

But now…

Now when I thought of my future I didn't just see one man anymore, I saw two, each holding out a hand for me to take and giving me a choice as to who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Two men who were so similar and different in a myriad of ways and could offer me two completely different lives.

I couldn't afford to distract myself with these thought now, however. I didn't want to go into battle with a clouded mind because that would likely result in death. I was prepared to fight and I wanted to fight even though it would be dangerous but having Kazama by my side gave me a confidence that I'd seldom felt with Hijikata. He'd always been the protector, the one who'd done the fighting, but Kazama had taught me how to be capable.

I just hoped it would be enough.

Almost on cue I sensed a change in the air. Even without my sight I could sense there was something not quite right and I subconsciously shut my eyes tighter, not wanting to see anything yet. There was something dark in the air as we grew closer too, evil and cruel, and it made my skin crawl.

I could only imagine what we would see and the horrors we would witness.

Swallowing the lump in my throat we suddenly came to a stop.

When I opened my eyes hesitantly the first thing I saw was darkness. Kazama had brought into a short alley between two houses, into the shadows and away from the open streets. His face was even more solemn than before and it made me wonder what he'd seen upon coming into the village. It was hard to believe anything could shock him given his past record of bloodshed.

Kazama suddenly put me down on my feet and shortly after I felt his mind brush over mine.

When I let him inside my head, I was the first to speak. _What did you see?_ : I asked, unsure if I wanted to know the answer.

Kazama coaxed me into a squatting position, keeping his eyes trained on the alley's entrance. _The specifics don't matter but it appears we are too late. There are many causalities, Chizuru, and so it would be rather pointless to consider this a rescue mission. I can hear with my oni hearing that there are some still hiding in their houses but it's only a matter of time before they're found._

The grief hit me hard enough to wind me.

We really were too late. We hadn't made it on time. There were so many dead, how many I could only imagine, but if Kazama was right then there were still survivors. Those were the ones we had to focus on now.

Taking in a deep breath, I went to scramble to my feet. _Then we have to rescue them!_ : I announced, halfway to a standing position when Kazama tore me down again. _Did you not listen to me? Not even 10 seconds have passed and already you're acting brashly. I will be the one who decides what we do and how we do it, not you_ : he snapped, loosening his grip on my wrist when he saw I'd given up on standing.

He was right. I couldn't afford to put us both in danger by being hasty.

Forcing himself to calm down, he pulled me closer to him. _The soldiers are large in number but the majority are up north where the market and businesses are located. I presume they came to loot the village and have slain anyone in their way but there are a few patrols in this area as well. We will attempt to get as far north as we can without being spotted and join Amagiri in the middle. Your duty is to stay out of sight. If you are seen then defend yourself using any means necessary. No matter what you must do_ : he instructed, holding onto me tightly to emphasise his orders.

I frowned, wondering if he was implying what I thought he was.

Did he mean that I could use my oni powers? Even the ones that could be seen, such as my oni form or my healing? I knew Kazama would want me to survive no matter what but I had been unprepared to learn I could expose my true species.

Biting my lip, I decided to ask for clarification. _So… do you mean I can use my oni powers? Even the more… obvious ones?:_ I asked quietly as if it was possible for someone to hear our private conversation.

Kazama's face softened momentarily before he nodded. _There are no humans left, Chizuru. The ones that are alive are hiding and the soldiers will be dead soon even if they do witness what you're capable of. Do whatever you must to survive although I will do everything I can to ensure that burden is not placed upon you_ : he assured me.

I nodded, the gravity of what he'd permitted me to do weighing on my shoulders. Even though the villagers were hiding and the soldiers would soon be slain it felt weird to be granted permission to use my abilities without the need to conceal them.

Meeting his gaze timidly, I wiped my sweaty palms on my pants. _So what about the rasetsus? Did you see any?_ : I inquired, trying to quench the shaking in my hands, and he took my spare one into his own. _Yes, although they are far outnumbered by the amount of human soldiers. I will take care of the rasetsus as they are too fast and strong for you to fight:_ he advised, moving one hand upwards to cup my cheek.

My face exploded into colour as he touched me, his scarlet eyes trailing down to my lips. _And once this is over then I will ensure we finish what we started. But until then, follow me carefully and make no noise. Let's go._

Reeling with a combination of embarrassment and desire, it took me a full 3 seconds to realise he'd already released my face and started to stand.

When we snaked around the side of the building and started to head north I was able to see the extent of the damage. Unlike the last village that had been pillaged there was nothing set on fire. Evidently the soldiers had needed these houses and their contents intact so they could sift through them and find things they deemed useful. There was debris everywhere, from broken furniture to clothing, bedding, boxes and food, and the contents of all the houses along the street had been strewn across the dirt in an effort to find anything the soldiers could take.

It was an absolute mess, barely an inch of dirt visible, but that was by far the most horrifying sight.

There was not a single square metre of ground left untainted by blood. The bodies of countless men and women were tossed among the debris as if their lives had been no less valuable than the items they laid amongst, some with expressions of fear or panic still on their faces. The sight made my stomach twist in a way that only such explicit violence could and despite my repulsion I just couldn't look away, not even when I began to see children laying among the dead.

This was inconceivable to me. How people could do this to others was just… unfathomable.

Kazama noticed my revulsion and pulled me closer to his side. _Don't look. Keep your eyes on me_ : he said softly, squeezing my hand as I started to grow dizzy.

I needed no further encouragement.

Staring intently down at his hand around mine it was the only thing that kept me from vomiting. _How… how long do you think the soldiers have been here for?_ : I murmured, attempting to distract myself further by discussion.

Kazama's eyes continued to dart from shadow to shadow. _An hour, maybe less. I doubt they plan to remain here much longer as they seemed to have taken what they need. I'm not sure if this was their main task or if this village just happened to be along the way to somewhere else but we may find out once we grow nearer_ : he speculated, keeping us close to the sides of the houses as we made our way north.

Although I heavily disliked knowing that the only way to stop the soldiers was for them to die I was relieved that we were ending this here. Who knew what else they would do if we let them leave? They were likely to do the same as they'd done in this village and with rasetsus in their midst they would be able to do more damage than a normal regiment of soldiers.

Just before I could ask Kazama another question, he suddenly dragged me into another dark alley between another two houses.

Had there been someone there? Had he heard something?

Peering up at him with wide eyes, I didn't realise I was clutching onto his arm. _What? Did you see a soldier?_ : I asked desperately, my heart pounding fervently.

Kazama pulled us deeper into the shadows and pressed us flat against the wall, seemingly unbothered by how he was crushing our bodies together. _I can hear a small group approaching from ahead. Once they pass we will continue_ : he elucidated, staring down at my face as he sensed I was beginning to fret. _You need to keep a clear head, Chizuru. Terror and panic will only afflict your ability to think rationally and you can't afford to be distracted in this situation. If we must fight then we must fight. There is no point in dwelling on your fear._

His advice was easier said than done but I understood where he was coming from. Not only did I have faith in my own abilities but I trusted his own as well and I knew what ever happened that everything would be ok with him here. Although it was kind of twisted to think of this situation as beneficial in some ways it would be good practice to use what I'd learned in my sparring and oni lessons anyway.

But that didn't mean I _wanted_ to get found.

By the time we began to hear footsteps Kazama kept a firm grasp on my body. I could hear little snippets of conversation as they approached but nothing that really made sense. Even if I had have been able to understand I wouldn't have done a very good job at processing the words because my mind was growing duller with each step I heard them take. Kazama had told me not to be scared but I was.

I was terrified.

All of a sudden a heard one of the men exhale roughly, probably only a few metres away from our line of sight. 'Can you believe it? Not even an hour has passed and everyone's already dead. We certainly made quick work of this place.' He snorted, his shoes scuffing along the ground as he walked.

As I stiffened at the man's comment, Kazama held me harder.

It wasn't long before another man elaborated on his comrade's remark. 'Well, you know what they've started to say; the age of swords is over. Now that we have these things war is never going to be the same again. It won't matter anymore who has had more training or who's the best swordsman because as long as you've got a gun it doesn't fuckin' matter. We've got an advantage over these primitive bastards and the ones up north as well. And with the rasetsus… we're invincible.' He noted, letting out a harsh chuckle that incited a round of snide laughter from the others.

I became confused before I became disgusted,

The ones up north? Did he mean… the Shinsengumi?

Before I could dwell too much on his statement I saw their shadows appear at the end of the alleyway and not too long after they came into our sight. Each one was holding a gun in their arms, their clothes and skin rugged and dirty due to days if not weeks of endless travel.

But even more alarming was how they were devoid of blood. All these dead people and all this destruction and not a drop of red to stain their shirts. That was the horror of the guns they wielded; they could end thousands of lives and yet stay free from the blood of their victims, without any reminders of what they'd done. Being covered by the blood of your enemies was supposed to be something that kept you aware that you'd taken a life. It made you culpable, made you think about what you'd inflicted on another person and that person's family.

But these men… the only thing tainting their faces was pride.

By the time they'd passed us and disappeared from our sight I was having a hard time trying to figure out if I was livid or appalled. Some part of me wanted to step out into the street and give them a piece of my mind and yet the other half reminded me that they were dangerous. Depending on how fast and efficient they were in using their weapons it was possible that not even an oni could outrun one of their bullets.

When all traces of their presences had departed Kazama tugged us back out into the light. _Don't let their words get to you_ : was his simple reaction to their conversation. He seemed nowhere near as aghast as I was but I wasn't sure to attribute that to his desensitised view on violence or if he was just masking his disgust. It was probably a mix of the two.

Shaking my head as we crept forward down the street, I couldn't accept this for what it was. _I just don't understand how people could do this to one another. If they really did just come here to steal supplies I don't see why they couldn't have just taken what they wanted and left. Why kill all these people for nothing?:_ I interrogated, speaking more so to myself than to him.

Kazama expression's hardened as he answered my rhetorical question. _It's because they value power over everything else. Their kin, their respect for others and their integrity comes after their greed. This situation may be profound to you but to me it is not. I've been hearing of human wars for almost 80 years and have been involved in one for 6_ : he bridled, sharing yet again his apathetic opinion of the human race.

I expected no less from Kazama so I didn't humour him by providing a response. Instead I stayed silent and processed my thoughts on my own, refusing to acknowledge his beliefs as valid. I didn't want to counteract such a statement just in case it turned into an argument because a disagreement right now was just ridiculous. We had more pressing things to devote our attention towards.

And one of those was staying alive.

When we'd come to the end of the street, Kazama broke our momentary silence. _From now on I can hear more patrols. They are larger in number and contain rasetsus so we will have to be vigilant. I suggest now that you ready your oni strength so it can be called upon quickly if you need it_ : he recommended, guiding us into a shadow while I prepared myself to use my abilities.

I gulped, refusing to let his hand go even though it hindered my concentration. _Ok. I'll try_ : I conceded.

Closing my eyes and praying Kazama was looking out for anyone coming, I delved into the coils of energy inside my body. I'd really underestimated the effect that fear would have on my capacity to summon my powers because it was a lot harder than usual. The energy seemed to be flickering like a candle nearing the end of its life, making it harder for me to see and grasp it.

But when I did, I felt that it still had potency. The coils were still just as strong as they normally were albeit just harder to control.

Dragging a handful into my body, I allowed them to rest in my arms. I predicted that this would be the part of my body that would require a boost in strength as I used my arms to wield my sword. If at any stage I needed the energy in another part of my body then I could just shift it around.

I moved closer to Kazama where I felt safe. _Ok, I'm finished_ : I said, eager to get a move on because I wanted this to be over and done with.

When I was ready Kazama lead us around the corner and down the next street.

Just like the last one it was covered in rubbish and bodies, the latter of which I kept my eyes away from. I couldn't see anyone yet but if Kazama had been right about the increased number of patrols then I had to remain alert anyway. He'd even mentioned that there were rasetsus in these next few scouting parties and I knew they were capable of smelling out their prey. In addition they had enhanced hearing and speed just like the onis they'd been crafted from.

It was still sickening how they had been created and by my adopted father nonetheless. Deep down he'd truly been trying to revive the Yukimura clan but even I knew that was impossible. What constituted our clan was not our powers but our people and nothing could ever bring back my parents or the others who had lived in my village.

Casting that dampening realisation from my head, I shifted my focus to the man beside me. _Will you use your own oni powers against the soldiers?_ : I asked, genuinely curious for his answer.

Kazama kept me close by his side even as he helped me step over a fallen plank of wood. _If it's required. It's unlikely I will need to but if it's necessary for your survival then I will do what needs to be done_ : he answered, tilting his head to analyse my reaction. He found me staring up at him in return with a surprised expression on my face. _So… would you still use your powers if there were villagers around? If it was to.. to..._

I paused, unsure if I wanted to know the answer. I wasn't sure what I'd do if Kazama told me he would use his powers to save my life even if it meant he would be seen by a human. I knew how important the secrecy of his species meant to him and if he admitted to compromising that secrecy for me then it suggested that he cared for me more than I'd thought.

Kazama cocked his head to one side, confused by my hesitancy. _If it was to save you?_ : he offered, his tone less serious than it had been moments ago. Perhaps my question had startled him or maybe he already had his answer and was surprised with himself for what it was.

Lowering my eyes, I shrugged even though I should have nodded. _Well, I mean like… anyone that was important to you. Would you use your powers knowing that you would be seen?_ : I clarified, peeking up at him mellowly to see his pensive countenance.

To that Kazama frowned slightly, wallowing in the mystery of his own answer. _I've told you before that using one's oni powers in front of humans is banned. However…_ : he sighed, looking away from me for the shortest of moments. _There is not a single thing that I would not do for you, Chizuru. Is that not obvious from where we are?_ : He finished, running his hands through his hair as if the realisation troubled him.

His answer had placed a soft and warm feeling in my heart, smothering my fear and anxiety. It almost sounded like he had feelings for me and the possibility almost put me into a coma. Why did the thought of his affection make me feel so… _giddy_?

Kazama watched me for a second before he sighed again. _So I suppose the answer to your question is yes. And it has always been a yes. I'm hopeless when it comes to you and you know it_ : he said in a tone that was almost accusatory, as if he was reminding me of all the times I'd taken advantage of his inability to refuse me anything.

I blushed, my heart soaring in my chest. It was insane to consider how even amongst all this bloodshed and fear he could make me feel like this. The truth was I was hopeless when it came to him as well and I wanted to show him that. More than ever I was overcome with the want… no, the _need_ , to show him physically that I cared for him.

It was then that I really wished Shiranui hadn't interrupted our kiss.

Licking my dry lips, I fidgeted with the hem of my tunic as we progressed down the silent street. _Oh…_ : I vocalised, unsure what to say but aware I needed to acknowledge his sentiment.

Kazama only raised an eyebrow as he'd expected no more than that from me anyway. _And what about you? Would you not do something equivalent for me, Chizuru?_ : he pressed, milking the discussion for what it was worth.

Immediately my mortification increased tenfold. _Well… I, uh, already have_ : I began, my nervous fidgeting intensifying. _When I brought you back from the dead I… I was willing to die in your place if it was required_. _I'd known that saving you might forfeit my own life._

It was the first time I'd actually said this to Kazama aloud. When I'd cut my hand and started to heal his wound I'd felt that the action would claim my life but I'd proceeded regardless. Kazama may have known that healing him had almost resulted in my death but he may not have been aware I'd accepted that death readily.

Kazama's steps slowed down almost to a standstill at my confession. Perhaps my answer had shocked him or maybe it had been the relative ease of which I'd admitted something so profound. Either way he didn't respond, or at least not straight away.

Unable to rid my cheeks of their colour, I decided to speak just to break the strangely timed intimacy that was starting to build between us. _So… yeah. And I also saved you from that arrow ages ago too. So I suppose my answer to your original question is also a… yes_ : I mumbled, wishing I could disappear or at least get rid of the heat in my face.

I was about to die because of the embarrassment of this conversation.

Just when I thought Kazama had given up on speaking, he regained the composure he'd seemingly lost. _It seems as though I am more important to you than I'd assumed. This is pleasing_ : he remarked, threading his fingers through mine as I went ridged at his observation. It was a correct observation but no less embarrassing.

Kazama continued before I could confirm or deny it. _Which reminds me… I must admit it was quite a surprise what you requested of me earlier during our oni lesson. I was not expecting to be the first man to taste you:_ he posed, utterly nonchalant.

My whole body seized up at his question and _especially_ the way he'd worded it.

Opening my mouth then shutting it in bewilderment, I peered up at him sharply. _Don't say… don't say it like that:_ I scolded, mortified as I saw he was completely serious.

At my strong retaliation he only smirked, proving for the thousandth time that he could be endearing at the most inappropriate of times. _Well, in essence that is what you want me to do, is it not?_ : he queried, raising the thumb on his free hand to slide across my lips.

It took everything I had in me not to liquefy right then and there.

Pushing his hand away frantically, I couldn't bear to look at him anymore. _Do we really have to talk about this now? We should be focusing on… on getting to Amagiri-san. Weren't we supposed to be meeting him in the middle?_ : I spluttered, trying my hardest to change the subject but I knew it would take a miracle to move Kazama from this topic.

Kazama's smirk became even more indignant and he paired it with a casual shrug. _We will still meet him in the middle. Afterwards we will continue together to the north but there's still plenty of time until we reach our destination. In the meantime, this is a nice opportunity for discussion, don't you think?:_ he asked, cocking his head to one side and sporting a lopsided smile.

A discussion about my this was the absolute last thing I wanted right now.

Choosing to ignore him, I redirected my gaze to our surroundings.

I had no clue how Kazama could feel this at ease with discussing such things openly. Not only had I not expected him to bring it up so soon but I couldn't believe he had chosen now of all times to do so given how we were trampling through the site of a massacre.

And what kind of person used the word _taste_ to refer to a kiss?!

Resisting the urge to cover my face with my hands, Kazama watched my flustered appearance proudly but thankfully did not raise the issue again. I could almost feel through our link how much I'd pleased him by allowing him to have my first kiss. It was so humiliating to dwell on it so I didn't want to but it was rather difficult when I'd come to desire it this much.

All of a sudden Kazama's grip on my hand strengthened and he tugged me towards the door of the closest house.

I barely had enough time to react before he'd hauled me through the opening.

Gasping involuntarily, I allowed him to pull me down into a squat underneath the window and out of sight from the street. The door had been kicked in, the windows smashed and the house was completely trashed but through the sudden rush of adrenaline coursing through my veins all I registered was the burst of fear ignited in my heart.

Had he heard more soldiers?

Holding me against his body like he feared I'd run away, Kazama explained the situation. _There's a group of soldiers and rasetsus approaching; I can smell the blood on the latter. We have to move out of this house to get out of their range of hearing because our breathing and heartbeats will be audible so close to the street. Also, the human woman hiding here will expose our position._

Recoiling from his words, I turned to face him full on. _Human woman? You mean there's a person hiding in this house?_ : I clarified, instinctively looking around for her, and Kazama narrowed his eyes. _Yes, there is. And we are not staying here. Our goal is to meet up with Amagiri and not to waste time rescuing humans as they can do that themselves once all the soldiers and rasetsus are dead. If she stays silent then she may remain undetected_ : he said, the sternness in his eyes telling me that he already knew I wanted to help her.

I looked around me for the location of the woman, longing to find her and reassure her that everything was going to be ok. No doubt she had no idea that we were here and therefore believed she was on her own surrounded by men who wanted to kill her. I knew exactly how she felt too as I'd been in this same situation.

But on the night of my family's massacre I'd had no one to help me.

Turning back to Kazama, I grasped both of his hands. _But we can't just leave her if there's a chance she could be found!:_ I argued, noticing the growing agitation in his eyes.

Kazama grit his teeth and started to pull me up. _My priority is you, Chizuru. And we need to get out of here before we are discovered. Now let's go_ : he urged, beginning to drag me through to the back of the house.

I followed him rigidly. I wanted more than anything to bring the woman with us or even just to warn her to stay quiet but before I could muster the courage to challenge Kazama's decision we were already slipping out the back door.

Kazama ignored my sour expression as he lead me along the back of the house.

We'd walked out into a small alleyway between the back of the house and the back of the one in front of us, a corridor probably only a metre wide. It was tiled with stone and had a mouldy scent but I'd never felt so relieved to be in such a small space as it gave me a sense of security.

As soon as we were safely between the backs of the two houses Kazama permitted us to stop moving. _Keep your breathing slow and your heartbeat steady. I'm aware you must be scared but remember I am here_ : he said, noticing that I was beginning to shake again.

I wasn't sure if I could succeed in slowing down my heartrate but it did help to know that he was by my side. Now more than ever I was grateful for his company and when he pressed me more firmly against him I found myself wondering how he could calm me down so much despite our situation.

Subconsciously leaning into his offer of comfort, I heard the first of the soldiers pass.

They seemed to be still soaking in the glory of battle, each one chattering to the next about topics I couldn't distinguish from one another. Their voices were slightly muffled as a result of their distance from us but I could make out words such as 'valuables', 'money' and 'food' which supported Kazama's assumption that they'd come here to steal whatever they could.

It was disgusting, really, to think that these soldiers had caused all this destruction just to take a few material goods. Even worse was how they'd abused their power and used it to end the lives of innocent people, the lives of women and children, and then had the nerve to gloat about it as if they'd done the world a charity instead. It made me so angry that I almost wanted to go out them but I forced myself to maintain composure even when my fear began to morph into vehemence.

Suddenly one of the men addressed another man loudly. 'You know, I heard stories about you lot before I joined the army. They called you monsters, said you were mindless and crazy. But I must admit that's not how it is at all.' He expressed, accompanying his remark with what sounded like a pat on the back to the person he was speaking to.

I couldn't help but narrow my eyes.

Was he speaking to… _a rasetsu_?

The man I presumed he was talking to let out a harsh chuckle that sounded like nails down a chalkboard. 'Aye, indeed the earlier ones were. This kind of thing takes a while to get right but it seems they managed to finally perfect it. With some external help of course. After all, what good were the others? Once they sensed blood it took hours to calm them down. Pathetic.'

Kazama stiffened noticeably, probably in equal parts confusion and rage.

Shuddering against Kazama's side I listened to a third man, another rasetsu, pick up from where his comrade had left off. 'When all the other failures have died out and been replaced by improved ones like us then there will be no stopping the new government. Soon enough the whole army will have access to the serum. Can you imagine? We will be like gods, unstoppable and superior, just as we were today.' He exclaimed, his voice full of pride.

Kazama's rage intensified enough that I began to feel it through our mind link. I couldn't work out if he was more incensed at the man likening the rasetsus to gods or if he detested the fact there would soon be even more of them. Either way this wasn't welcome news to either of our ears.

By what I'd heard they had succeeded in creating a new type of rasetsu, one that was able to hold back its urge for blood and retain a level head even in the midst of a battle scene. But how had they managed to perfect it even after Kodo's death? Was there someone else working on improving the Ochimizu? What had the man meant when he'd said they'd received 'external help' in perfecting the serum?

Looking up at Kazama all I could see was anger. _Is that man really a rasetsu? How is he maintaining his sanity when there's so much blood around us?_ : I asked, reflecting on all the times that Hijikata had suffered through his bloodlust even without the presence of blood. I didn't understand how this man was guarding his clarity.

Kazama's lip twisted into an expression more unimpressed than any I could make. _It seems as if they've improved the Ochimizu. It's unlikely they've perfected it as the man claimed but it's evident that enough changes have been made to ensure they maintain their wits even when faced with blood. It's repulsive. Such beings that feed on blood for survival should not exist in the first place._

That wasn't the first time I'd heard Kazama carry on about this topic but this was one of the things he and I agreed upon. Their existence was as unnatural and unwelcomed as much as it was dangerous.

I was just about to ask him something else when I heard a loud whistle.

Looking around me, it was hard to figure out where it was coming from due to way the sound echoed. Kazama's fingers tightened around my hands slightly but he didn't move or speak, not even when we heard the loud sound of someone entering the house we'd just come out of.

My heart leapt into my chest as one man called out words that sickened me to the core. 'Oh, guess what I can hear! A little rat!' He cried with zeal, the floorboards inside creaking as he walked further into the house.

Had he found us?

 _No…._

He must have heard the woman.

Before I could even think about what I was going to do Kazama had latched onto my shoulder with his spare hand. _We need to move on. They will hear us here if they wander too far into the house, Chizuru_ : he said, getting prepared to raise and drag us further backwards down the side of the house beside this one.

I could only gape at him, shocked at his blatant disregard of what could happen to the person inside even though no part of me had expected any different. _But Kazama-san, I think they've found…_

The rest of my sentence was cut off by a piercing scream.

I jerked in fright as the noise pierced the air and cut through my body like a cold blade. It was the kind of scream that I'd never forget and one that would haunt me for the rest of my life if I chose to ignore it. I didn't want to disobey Kazama and I didn't want to be a nuisance but now that we were here it would not have mattered how well-behaved I'd promised to be.

The kind of person who could walk away from this scene with their conscience unscathed was not the kind of person I wanted to become.

Tearing his hand off my shoulder I sent him one of my most savage glares to date. _I'm not going with you until she is safe. And we don't have any time to…_

Once more my second sentence was cut off by another scream but this time it was accompanied by a flurry of other noises; the scraping of furniture, loud running and shouting. It instilled such a potent feeling of urgency inside me that not even Kazama had time to prevent me from springing to my feet.

Standing up with me, he refused to let me go even when I tried to pull away. _You promised me you wouldn't do this_ : he chastised, choosing the worst time of all to initiate conversation. I was so desperate to get inside and do something that his words went in one ear and out the other.

Spinning around to face him, I implored him with my eyes to listen to me. _Please, Kazama-san. Please help me save this woman_ : I begged, clutching onto him in a frenzy as the short window of opportunity dwindled before my eyes.

We couldn't afford to waste any time as I could hear that they'd already found her. Who knew how long we had left until it was too late.

Kazama was milliseconds off losing his cool. He had never intended to get caught up in battle at this stage and I too wished it hadn't come to this either. Truthfully I hated asking things of him that he wasn't willing to do but if I had have opted to fight them alone there would have been no way he'd have accepted. It was either with him or not at all.

And not at all was _not_ an option.

Suddenly Kazama looked abruptly to the side like he couldn't stand to look at me. _I should have left you back with Shiranui. I will never, ever make the mistake of bringing you with me again. Ever_ : he spat, so infuriated that I was almost afraid of him for a moment.

But his anger only meant he'd given in. Once again I'd proved to the both of us that there was nothing he would not do for my sake.

I was so thankful and so relieved I had the overwhelming urge to press my lips to his right there but before I could act on it Kazama sent me such a caustic glare that the desire instantly died. _Listen up. Remember I do the fighting and you just sit here and stay out of sight. Only use your kodachi to defend yourself if needed but as long as you stay here and stay silent they will be too preoccupied with me to notice your presence_ : he ordered mordantly, practically pulling my arm off as he dragged us to the back door.

Everything had happened so fast that I didn't even think to thank him yet. All I could focus on was the screaming I could still hear, my own fear at having to fight for the first time and the anxiety of not knowing how this would all play out.

By the time I'd forced myself to accumulate some courage Kazama had already drawn his katana. It made a nice clean sound as it emerged from his sheathe, high pitched like a chime, but it was enough of a sound that all the commotion inside died down for the smallest of moments.

The men inside had heard it.

Kazama turned to give me a quick glance, the anger in his face softening. _Try not to get killed, Chizuru. And don't move from here until I come to collect you_ : he said, brushing his thumb across the top of my hand before he let me go entirely.

My heart sunk as our mind link dissolved.

I was left standing there with an empty feeling in my head as he slipped in through the back door. I had the utmost confidence in his ability to defend himself but for the first time ever there was something inside me that I'd never felt before. It was kind of similar to what I felt when the Shinsengumi were going to battle, an emotion which reminded me how far we'd come since the start of the journey.

I was worried for him.

Biting my lip as I squatted down beside the door I heard the first cry of one of the men.

Kazama was silent as he fought. I could hear him moving from man to man, cutting through them like butter, and the thought of all that blood and death made me sick. But despite what Kazama was doing and how many people he'd killed in the past I couldn't bring myself to detest him for it, just like I couldn't detest Hijikata. He had also had his fair share of slaughter even though he was only in his early 30s but over time I'd fully accepted that was the price he paid to protect what he loved, whether that be his city, his comrades or his honour.

Death was part of being a samurai. And in this case death was necessary to protect both myself _and_ the woman, the latter of which he was only rescuing because of me.

Suddenly I heard the sound of shouting coming from down the street.

My whole body tensed up at the noise. The shouts were accompanied by running too, possibly tens of people running down the street in our direction. I couldn't hear what they were saying but it seemed to be someone giving the rest of them orders.

What were they doing? Had they heard all the fighting?

Without warning Kazama's gruff voice pierced through the commotion inside. 'Go through the back door and get out!' He snapped in a tone that he only employed when speaking to Shiranui or humans.

I stiffened from the anxiety of not knowing who was going to come out but whoever it was hadn't waited another second to obey Kazama's instruction. Before I could even prepare myself, a young woman maybe my age sprinted out of the back door so forcefully she almost tripped over and landed flat on her face. She was covered in blood from head to toe but didn't appear to be hurt but her face was streaked with tears.

I froze against the wall, momentarily too shocked to speak even though subconsciously I knew this was the woman that Kazama had saved.

Sagging to her knees like she'd just ran a kilometre, the woman had only sat down from exhaustion when she saw me squatting against the house.

Before she could cry out I quickly pressed my finger to my lips to gesture her to be silent. 'Uh… it's ok now. I won't hurt you.' I whispered, growing more unsettled as the rowdy voices grew closer. I was almost certain now that they were soldiers, maybe even rasetsu, who had heard the fight and come to finish it off.

I needed to get her out of here and stay focused on Kazama.

The woman made no attempt to speak so I tentatively crawled forward to place my hand on her shaking shoulders. 'Are you… ok? Are you hurt? ' I asked, doing my best to come across as gentle.

It was taking all my effort not to fall to pieces at imagining all that this woman had seen and experienced since the attack. From the peaceful lifestyle she must have had a few hours ago to one of fear of panic, and possibly a dead or missing family, I knew exactly how she felt.

There was not a more horrendous scenario on the face of the planet.

Eventually the woman roused from her silence, blinking a few more times and sitting up slightly straighter as if she'd been woken up. Her eyes finally moved from the floor to her surroundings and I could see her mind rebooting by the second, registering that she'd escaped the house of men who'd just tried to kill her.

A shudder travelled through her from head to toe but shortly after her lips parted to speak. 'What… what happened?' She rasped, her eyes still partly glazed over.

I was relieved that she was now responsive but her confusion only attested to the level of trauma she'd experienced.

Giving her a soft smile, I took her cold hands into mine. 'Kazama-san saved you from the soldiers. Are you… are you injured?' I asked, looking down at the blood on her kimono but I couldn't see any slices in the cloth.

Shaking her head, the woman finally tilted her head to look at me. 'No.. I'm… not injured.' She murmured, the awareness in her eyes increasing. 'But my family… we got separated and they ran into the forest.' She noted, her forehead creased.

I sighed, eyes flicking to the back door to make sure no soldiers had come through to kill us. 'You need to get away from here too. There's more soldiers coming. If you keep running along this alleyway to the right then it will take you to close to the forest where you can find your family again.' I whispered, both of us flinching as the shouting became louder.

I could hear the whiz of Kazama's katana cutting through the air but with all these extra soldiers coming I couldn't afford to take the woman to the forest myself. I needed to stay with him and so I just had to hope that she'd get there safely on her own because she definitely wasn't safe here.

The woman, who was very much still dazed, managed to give me a brief nod. 'Ok… I'll go. Th… thanks for everything.' She murmured, raising to her feet as if she was drunk.

Her mind was very much foggy with fear but I could see her drive for survival behind the cloudiness of her eyes.

Giving me a small but vague smile, she took off in the direction I'd gestured to.

I watched her leave with a stomach heavy with anxiety. If she got caught again then we wouldn't be able to save her and all Kazama's efforts would have been for nothing. I hoped she was intelligent enough to stay in sheltered areas and that her family was safely in the forest where she'd said they'd gone into.

When she'd disappeared from my sight, I heard a sound that I hoped I'd never hear.

A gunshot.

Scrambling to my feet, I was so panicked that I almost forgot how to walk.

 _Kazama…_

I couldn't believe I'd completely forgotten that they had guns. They had an advantage over all of us, except maybe Shiranui because he had a gun too, but Shiranui wasn't here. Kazama was fast but even I wasn't sure if he could outrun a bullet.

Before I knew it I'd already leapt through the back door and into the house.

My fear for Kazama was so great that I didn't see then men in the house straight away even though they'd turned to look at me. All I could think about was Kazama and what I would do if he was hurt or even… killed. I could feel the power in my arms burning in preparation to draw my kodachi and fight them and my terror and anger at imagining if they'd hurt him.

But alas, before I could get too worked up I heard a familiar voice address me, albeit enraged.

Kazama kicked a man who was reloading his weapon hard in the gut before turning to me in the doorway. 'What the hell are you doing?' He growled, finishing him off by driving his katana through his back as he bent over.

The sight almost made my skin crawl off me onto the floor but I didn't have time to vomit before the last soldier ran at me with his sword raised.

Shrieking, I was in the middle of drawing my kodachi when he suddenly fell dead to the ground.

Kazama tore his blade out of the man's back and looked at me square in the eyes. 'What part of stay back there did you not understand? Now come on. The next patrol has already arrived and it's too crowded to fight in here.' He snapped, snatching my arm and beginning to drag me towards the front of the house.

I could hear the men outside coming closer, so close I could hear their voices clearly. One man was yelling at the others to hurry up, to spare us no mercy, which meant they knew where we were. They could already hear us in here and smell the blood of their comrades, and whether we went out the back door or the front they would find us and so the only way to escape was to fight.

I was so overcome with shock that I'd gone numb.

Kazama suddenly forced his way into my head, too impatient to wait for me to drop my mind barrier. _Now listen to me. They've already found us both. I will do everything I can to protect you, I promise, but remember what I taught you today during our lesson about non-lethal combat techniques. Make sure you hit them hard and fast; even if you break their ribs. Do what needs to be done_ : he told me harshly but he was only intent on making sure I understood the urgency.

One misplaced move and I'd be dead.

I nodded, my teeth chattering from fear. _So… so where do I go? Do I go out with you or do I stay here?_ : I mumbled, even my internal voice trembling, and Kazama took my hand firmly into his. _Come out with me where I can protect you. I can't see you in here and the rasetsus will find you quickly anyway whether you hide or not. If worst comes to worst then I will use my forcefield to protect us both. Draw your kodachi_ : he ordered, letting go of my spare hand so I could do as he said.

Without hesitation I unsheathed my kodachi, looking down at it with dread.

I couldn't believe it had come to this. I'd been prepared to fight if needed but now that the time had come I wasn't sure if I was ready. I'd been so sure of my abilities in the past, so ready to put everything on the line to fight if I needed to, but now I was scared.

I was so scared. Even with Kazama here I was terrified of what would happen to me or to him. In addition to rasetsus they also had guns and battle experience and I had none of that. The only thing I had was Kazama and the oni strength in my arms.

Taking in a deep, shaky breath, I let Kazama pull me to my feet. _Stay with your back to the wall so no one can sneak up behind you. I'll try and cut them all down as quick as I can but there are many of them. Amagiri should be arriving soon too as no doubt he's heard all the noise_ : he assured me, flicking the blood off his katana.

It hit the floor in a stripe of blood, mixing with the other red droplets from the dead bodies around us. There were five men who had died.

Unable to speak even in my mind, I only nodded.

It was then that Kazama finally dragged us both through the door.

In the millisecond before Kazama left my side I searched the street. I identified a group of soldiers coming towards us to the right and as soon as we appeared the starting shouting, a few giving orders to those behind them. There was at least 20 in this regiment and more still on their way and could think of nothing more than my own terror as I saw them begin to run in our direction.

Kazama, of course, had already disappeared, leaving the soldiers that had seen it pause in their steps to frown. Soon afterwards I saw him cut through two soldiers at once, his face contorted into a combination of distaste and irritation.

When the two men fell to the ground Kazama moved onto the next one but I didn't get the chance to see what happened next because there was someone charging at me.

One of the human soldiers was running at me with his sword raised, the look on his face telling me he thought I'd be easy kill because I was a woman. He didn't even bother to jeer or curse as he approached because he likely believed it wouldn't be worth the effort.

Raising my sword just in time to block him, I put all my oni strength into defence.

As soon as our swords collided the most powerful rush of adrenaline surged through me. The man's attack had barely knocked me back and I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was surprised at my strength. He even frowned slightly as he stared down at my face.

But despite this small success I didn't know what to do next. I was much too frazzled to recall what Kazama had taught me less than half an hour earlier and the more I frantically tried to think the worse it got.

Did I go straight in and try to knock him out or did I have to wait for a specific opening?

Eventually the man recovered from his surprise, pulling his blade back to strike at me again.

It was now or never.

When his arms were fully raised above his head and his chest was exposed, I slammed my sword hilt so hard into his stomach that the wind in his lungs was audibly expelled. I'd been so panicked that I hadn't thought about how hard I should have hit him but I felt no regret when he doubled over and swayed forward. I hadn't broken his ribs like Kazama had advised but I'd probably gotten close enough to trick him into thinking I had.

I stepped out of the way of his body as it fell, blinking down at what I'd done.

I'd… I'd actually knocked a man out.

I wasn't sure whether to feel sickened or triumphant. I'd never done something so violent before but at the end of the day it had been his life or mine. And technically he still _had_ his life, although maybe not for much longer if Kazama decided he wanted to go around finishing off the soldiers I'd knocked out.

After all, they wouldn't remain unconscious forever.

Pushing that uncomfortable thought aside I looked back at the other soldiers to see Kazama smirking at me instead. 'If only you could see yourself right now with such a determined look on your face. It's incredibly attractive.' He chuckled, spinning around just in time to send a savage kick into a soldier's stomach.

A sickening crack echoed through the air as the man fell back against the dirt with all sorts of internal injuries.

Appalled as a blush coloured my cheeks, I readied my kodachi for another fight. 'Did you have to say that _right_ _now_?' I chided, disgusted with myself for turning red even though I was surrounded by death.

Only Kazama could do this to me.

Kazama just tossed me another lazy smirk before he disappeared again, wreaking havoc onto the next unfortunate person who came across his path.

Casting aside my embarrassment as another man ran at me, I noticed that this one was different from the rest. He had an aura to him that wasn't quite natural and a glint in his eyes which was colder than the others so I knew instantly that he wasn't human. I tried to fight off the cold fear in my heart as he approached me.

But unlike the last soldier, this one spoke.

He smiled sadistically as he looked me up and down. 'Ah, I wonder why you smell different to _these_ bastards.' He crooned, gesturing down to the dead villagers scattered around us.

I screwed up my face at his comment, looking anxiously back at Kazama who was engaged with a fight of his own.

But the rasetsu in front of me didn't attack. He continued to talk.

'And why might someone like you be here? Don't you people have your own villages, hidden around the country? I can guarantee you're not strolling through the forest just to sightsee. You must be here so we can harvest your blood.' He snarled, twisting his sword in his hand as he stepped closer.

The astonishment almost knocked me over.

He knew I was an oni!

How did he know about our existence? Rasetsus weren't told _how_ the Ochimizu was made! They shouldn't know that it was our blood that created them.

I swallowed, keeping alert even though I felt so afraid. 'What… what do you mean?' I said feebly, feigning ignorance as my hands began to grow weaker.

Before the man could respond I saw Kazama come up behind him, shoving his sword through his chest in one move, and he almost immediately dissolved into ash.

When I looked past Kazama to the others I noticed that there _were_ no others. Kazama had taken care of them all, even the few other rasetsus, and bodies and piles of ash rested on the ground where they'd been.

Kazama was already frowning at me. 'Did he just say what I thought he did?' Kazama growled, flexing his fingers in an effort to control himself.

First we learn that the government is working with an external party to produce Ochimizu and now there was the possibility that more people knew about our race than we thought!

What was going on?

However, before I could provide a response I heard the sound of rapid gunfire just ahead.

'Chizuru! Come here!' Kazama suddenly hissed, grabbing both of my arms and pulling me almost against his body.

I couldn't even scream before I saw a flash of blinding blue rise up from the ground, spinning around our bodies like ribbons of energy. I recognised the formation instantly as Kazama's forcefield and I clutched onto him and shut my eyes, knowing that it would protect us. I'd seen him use it before just outside Yamamura to prevent us from getting crushed by force of the waterfall so I presumed it would be strong enough to resist bullets too.

Kazama pulled me harder against him as the forcefield solidified around our forms.

Almost instantly and without warning there was a strong static noise as the bullets hit Kazama's barrier. I thought that meant they'd ricocheted off the surface, rebounding back into the houses or into the ground, but when I opened my eyes I saw in that instant that Kazama's shield had suddenly disintegrated.

And the next thing I felt was searing pain in my leg.

Letting out a loud scream, my mind reeled as I looked down and saw my thigh was spurting blood.

 _Oh god….no._

I'd been shot.

It was beyond the most painful thing I'd ever experienced, more painful than the arrow in my arm, because the bullet had gone right to the bone and either broken it or fractured it. I could only splutter the last few seconds of my scream as it died in my mouth as I suddenly felt a heavy weight against me as well, putting pressure on my thigh as I still tried to stand.

As I turned my head to see Kazama, delirious from agony, I forgot all about my pain.

 _No…_

In slow motion I watched as his lips parted in a silent moan, his hands coming up to press against his bleeding stomach. I was so stunned at seeing what had happened to him that I couldn't react immediately.

In a split second I was overcome with a feeling so staggering that I was frozen where I stood. It was a toxic mix of horror and consternation, and emotion so debilitating that for a moment all I could do was watch as he fell to his knees as the first drop of blood escaped his mouth.

And then all at once, it hit me.

Collapsing to my knees just in time to catch him, the tears were already falling. 'Kazama-san!' I cried feebly as I brought him against my body before he hit the ground.

Rolling him softly onto his back, I let out a choked sob as I saw my hands were covered with his blood. He'd been shot twice in the abdomen but there was so much blood streaming out of the wounds that I couldn't even see which exact part had been hit. His eyes were still open but they were vague and empty, only a flicker of light behind their scarlet shade.

I covered my mouth with a quaking hand to stifle the scream that wanted to escape. 'Kazama-san! No…' I moaned, seconds off losing my mind as I tried to think clear enough through my own pain and the icy feeling of desolation creeping into my soul.

How did this happen? He was protecting us with his barrier!

Had the bullets managed to pierce through it?

I cared naught for modesty as I tore his shirt clean open, snapping all the buttons and not even stopping to watch them roll around on the dirt. If there was any chance that he was going to live then I needed to heal him and I counted my lucky stars that I had indeed decided to come along with him or he could have died out here.

Wiping the blood off his stomach with the sleeve of my own shirt I tried to uncover his wounds.

He had one bullet hole under his sternum and another to the right of his navel, both deep and already swollen around the edges. The wounds appeared to be infected even though he'd only just received them and if my head had been any clearer I would have realised this was highly unusual.

But I didn't think at all.

All I was focused on was summoning my power, all of it if need be, and using it to heal him. It was what I owed for selfishly dragging him here even though he'd told me he didn't want to. He'd warned me about the dangers and what would happen but I'd ignored them, pressuring him to come even though he'd told me it was futile. I thought I'd known everything but in reality I'd known nothing.

And now look what I'd done. If Kazama died I would never, ever forgive myself.

So I closed my eyes, delving deep inside me to find the power I knew I possessed.

Searching around in the depths of my mind, I searched every crevice. I left no inch of myself untraversed in an effort to find even a spark of gold, but when I sat there for minutes in the dark and saw nothing I realised something was very wrong.

This powerlessness felt all too familiar. It was akin to how I felt when my village had been raided, when our water source had been poisoned and consequently we'd all lost our powers. No matter how much I wanted to use my healing abilities I just couldn't do it just like how I couldn't save my father when he'd been killed.

But why did I have no power? What had done this to me?

I ran through my head a thousand different things but settled on nothing. My village had been poisoned through water but how had I suddenly been poisoned? Just moments ago I'd had all my energy available to me and I'd even been using my oni strength to fight. I knew something must have happened in the last few seconds to erase my abilities but I couldn't think what.

But it didn't take me long to realise.

Peering down at the bullet hole in my thigh it all become clear.

But surely the bullets couldn't be poisoned? But how would they have known to use poisoned bullets and how did they get a hold of that same poison that was used in my village?

And _was_ it the same poison?

It didn't make sense.

Moaning defeatedly, I used my kodachi to hastily hack his shirt off his body and ball it up, pressing it to his abdomen to try and stop the bleeding. I began to pray to every god I had heard of to save his life, even if that meant I would once again have to sacrifice my own. Inside my head were a thousand things buzzing around and I couldn't make sense of any of them, couldn't think of anything else than what I would do if Kazama died.

This was my fault.

I made us come here. I made _him_ come here, to save a village that had been already more or less damned. I'd never once stopped to think about the risk I'd been taking and thought about the risk there was to him and I couldn't believe how selfish I'd been.

Now I was paying the price, the one and only price that I hadn't wanted to pay.

I was so absorbed in my grief and regret, in fact, that I didn't realise until it was too late that there were people approaching me.

'What an unfortunate sight.' Someone suddenly said.

I gasped, crying out in agony as my jolt roused the scorching pain in my leg.

It was a small bunch of soldiers with guns, probably the ones that had shot us. The man who had spoken was definitely a rasetsu but he appeared to be the only one, all of the other human soldiers leering at me like I was nothing more than filth.

I cowered over Kazama, tears streaming down my face and dripping down onto his exposed skin. 'Please…' I sobbed, not really sure what I was begging for. Maybe I was speaking to the universe instead, imploring with my heart and soul not to take Kazama away from me.

I would have done anything.

The man crouched down to take a better look at Kazama who was still slipping in and out of consciousness. 'He's not looking good, is he? Those holes looks nasty.' He sighed, reaching out to poke Kazama's stomach with the tip of his finger.

I immediately grasped my kodachi and pointed it at his hand, preventing him from getting too close. 'Don't you _dare_ touch him.' I growled, surprised with the amount of loathing in my voice. I had no doubt that if I still possessed my oni powers then I would have adopted my oni form in my rage, if not already from my sadness.

Before I could do anything else the man grabbed my hair and tore me off the ground, drawing a loud screech from my lips. 'You know, you don't smell like the other dirty peasants we had the pleasure of slaughtering today.' He spat, his passive-aggressive façade vanishing before my eyes. It was the same thing the other rasetsu had said to me earlier.

I went to scream again but he covered my mouth, his other hand tightening in my hair. 'And I bet you don't taste the same either.' He finished, his harsh tone morphing into something a little more cruel.

My eyes widened as he smile, exposing his razor sharp teeth.

The fangs of a rastesu.

His grin grew wider as my tears dripped onto his hand around my mouth. 'You've probably heard of us, I would think, given that your species helped create us. Blood-crazed monsters, stalking the night for our next prey… that's what we used to be. But just because we can control our instincts now doesn't mean we don't have them. And I don't about you but I'm feeling rather…thirsty.' He trailed off, his eyes sliding from my face to my throat.

Taking his hand from my hair, he used his fingers to slide down my neck.

 _God_ … he was going to drink my blood.

I couldn't move.

I couldn't move even as I thought about Kazama laying beneath me. I couldn't move even though I was just about to be drained by a rasetsu who was looking at me with enough hunger to devour me even without spilling a drop of my blood. Not once in my life had I ever been so paralysed with fear.

When he slipped his fingers under my collar I let out another muffled scream.

 _Amagiri-san…_

I wanted to call for help but his hand over my mouth stifled my cries. I was hopeless as he tugged on my collar so hard my shirt snapped open, the buttons falling to the ground just as Kazama's had done.

All I could feel was his desire for me to die.

Bringing me close enough to him that I could smell his breath, the rasetsu pulled my shirt down to expose my shoulder. 'Such beautiful, porcelain skin...' He breathed, stretching each syllable out as if it would be the last thing he'd ever speak.

At the sound of his voice so close to my ear I couldn't help but squirm, too petrified to cry out anymore. I could feel the waves of his breath course over my neck as he breathed and he smelt like dried blood even though there was not a drop of blood on him. He must have fed today, surely, given the amount of dead people around us but I wasn't so sure now that I'd seen the hunger in his eyes.

Whimpering in fear as he pressed my lips to my neck I could only hope that Kazama wasn't conscious enough to see. Not only would he be livid beyond all belief, crazed with anger, but for him to see something like this done to me would be too shameful.

That thought was cut off when the man opened his mouth to graze his sharp fangs over my flesh.

I couldn't even beg for mercy as the man chuckled against my skin, sending vibrations of cruel laughter through my body so I could feel it in every part of me. All I wanted to do was rewind half an hour and tell Kazama instead that I wanted to take a detour far away from the village. I wanted to tell him to take us away and never return to this place even if it meant abandoning everyone here.

But I didn't wish that because I was selfish. I wished that because if there was one thing I'd learned today it was that I'd do _anything_ , sacrifice _anything_ for Kazama.

I'd probably even kill someone.

And with one last glance at my terrified face, the rasetsu angled my neck and pierced my flesh under the force of his bite.

I screamed against his hand as his fangs punctured my flesh as easy as biting into an apple. With an animal-like groan he drew mouthful upon mouthful of my blood into his mouth and I could feel the excess sliding down my neck and staining my shirt, hot yet devoid of the oni power I would have use to push him away if I'd had the strength.

Having someone, or some _thing_ , drink my blood was so abhorrent that I was incapable of fighting back.

But that wasn't the most horrific aspect of the act; it was the strange emotion that coursed through me as his fangs tore through my flesh.

 _Intimacy_.

Eyes widening as my legs buckled from the sensation, I stopped screaming for long enough to realise I felt similar to when Kazama had touched my horns. It was a feeling of connection, of passion, but this time it was strong enough that my body fought the pleasure. My mind was telling me it was wrong but already my willpower was growing slack.

I shouldn't be feeling like this, not _now_.

Suddenly, something that Yui said came to mind.

 _Drinking blood through biting is done largely for physical pleasure. Someone who is bitten feels their partner's presence inside them and their bite marks stays upon the skin for a few days until it heals._

Surely this couldn't be an act of… courting? But this man was a rasetsu, not an oni. Wouldn't that mean this kind of act wouldn't work?

Regardless of whatever was going on I was beginning to get weak. I could tell by the fervour of his hold on me that he wasn't going to part from my flesh until I was either dead or bloodless, whichever came first, and either one of those possibilities was so close that I was already losing consciousness. I could almost see into his mind as he drank from me and I could feel his thoughts cascading into my head, sickening thoughts of how sweet I tasted.

 _This_ was what it meant to be bitten by another. This connection, as much physical as it was mental, something that was supposed to be shared between two people that loved each other. Through the act I felt exactly what significance it had and it only made my torture worse as I thought momentarily that it was something I would have liked to give to Kazama one day if I chose to be his.

Maybe this was a sort of virginity, the offering of a special part of me to another.

And it was being stolen.

Just before I lose myself entirely to despair all the pressure off my neck released.

I dropped to my knees as his teeth were pulled from my flesh, leaving me faint and emotionally bruised. My hand automatically reached up to press against the swollen flesh of my throat and through my haziness I could only make out Kazama lying beside me, no longer conscious but still breathing.

I tried to focus on lifting my hand to press his shirt to his wound again but I couldn't. I could only lay down on the ground beside him, feeling the warmth from his body fading slowly.

I couldn't even cry anymore.

The only thing I could think about was the lingering presence of the man still inside my body, forcing me to relive with each passing second what he'd taken from me. It felt like he'd almost taken my soul, snatched right from my body like a precious gem, a piece of me that I'd never get back. If my blood was supposed to be taken by someone I'd cared for then I should never have felt that connection with something as vile as a rastesu.

All of a sudden I heard a series of loud thumps.

Too exhausted to be scared anymore I looked up at what I thought would be the man about to finish me off but instead I saw Amagiri. He'd punched the rastesu so forcefully in the gut that I heard all of his ribs break, piercing all of his organs and killing him instantly.

The last thing I saw before the rastesu turned to ash was my blood all around his mouth and the vibrant red of his bloodthirsty eyes.

As soon as he was dead Amagiri appeared beside Kazama and I, the rest of the soldiers already deceased behind us. He'd taken them all out while I'd been too preoccupied with my internal and external agony.

I was so happy to see him that I immediately started crying, half from relief and half from desperation. 'Amagiri-san….' I croaked, my voice breaking as I managed to raise a hand to press against Kazama's chest. I realised Amagiri was our only hope of saving Kazama. With me so weak and unable to use my powers I was in no state to aid even though that's all I wanted to do, even though I was still shuddering from horror at what I'd endured.

I could feel and hear him breathing, but only just. His heartbeat was dangerously slow as well.

Dropping to his knees without a second wasted he snatched up Kazama's shirt and pressed it to his stomach wound. 'Chizuru-sama.' He gasped, his usually stern but warm eyes filled with something a little less calm.

I'd never seen him with such a morbid expression on his face. It was a mix of furious and panicked, but he tried to keep it all hidden behind a mask of tranquillity. I could tell he wanted to tend to my neck and leg wounds as well but not only did Kazama require his full attention but I wouldn't have let him touch them anyway.

I didn't care how much pain I was in or what my wounds were like. He needed to treat Kazama.

Looking groggily up at the side of Kazama's face, the agony hit me tenfold.

 _Kazama-san… I'm sorry…_

He wasn't even conscious anymore. The only reason I knew he was alive was because I could feel his heartbeat under my palm and his breathing in my ear, faint and weak but still there.

I would have died in order to reverse all of this. To go back even 5 minutes before we engaged ourselves in that fight, where I could have told him I wanted to leave. I would have marched straight back to Shiranui and ordered for us to depart if I had have known that so much would go wrong.

So much…

I'd ruined everything.

Tears were pouring down my face even though I was making no sound. Every now and then Amagiri would pause his wound-tending to look at me and my own wounds, the faintest spark of cold anger igniting in his eyes when he gazed upon the puffy bite mark on my neck, but I knew that his reaction would be nothing compared to Kazama's.

His anger would triple that of when Shiranui had interrupted us.

Closing my eyes I tried to block out that scene. I'd been so close to giving him my first kiss and I should have done it afterwards while I'd had the chance. Now I may never have that opportunity again and it was only when I was faced with his death that I realised how much I'd wanted to share that part of myself with him.

I needed him to live so I could do so.

I needed him to live because I needed him. He'd noted earlier than I was important to him and he'd never been so right; in fact, he was more than just important. He was a part of my history, a part of my kin, but more specifically he was a part of my heart.

So opening my eyes to look at Amagiri I reached out a single bloodied hand to press against his knee.

Amagiri straight away looked at me, pausing his treatment of Kazama as he saw the emotion in my eyes. For a moment I just lay there like that, wanting to request something of him, but my vision was growing fainter by the second.

But before I passed out I managed to say the words I'd wanted to.

' _Please, Amagiri-san… Save him.'_

* * *

 **Ending note**

Ooooooh (such a cliffhanger ftw). Please let me know what you thought about this chapter and don't forget to check out my Instagram (fleurlilas_art) and my Facebook page (Fleur Lilas).

 **Also I need your help!** Can some of you try and type my username (Fleur Lilas) into the author search thing and tell me if I show up? Because I don't think I do and I'm not sure why.

ALSO THIS STORY HAS OFFICIALLY REACHED 30,000 VIEWS THANK YOU SO MUCH AHHHH!

Anyway see you all for the next instalment xxoo


	44. Fireworks

Heeellloooo :D Sorry for my intense scarcity of updates haha, Uni is really getting hectic now! Rip me.

Anyway here is the long awaited update! I hope you all enjoy it and I can't wait to hear your feedback. Thanks to **Yona0, Aonami96, Lakerae, GodzNo, Lady Renrider, Athena1242, ImpracticalDemon, LadyDark17, Saphira Kay, RozyIris, .x, Synnocence, Riri, xSapphirexRosesxFanx, DemonLordOfMonochrome, heavenXscent, KanaMac, Codie, Ryn and all the guests** for your amazing and fanatic reviews!

 **Guest:** Thanks for your review :D To answer your questions:

*No, Chizuru can't summon a familiar unfortunately haha. Her middle power is power mimicry

*Well considering Kaoru is dead I didn't really plan much for his character, including whether or not he had his mother's clan power. I think that if I had have included him in the story then I wouldn't have given him it anyway. Only Kazama gets to be the special one with two clan powers :D Thanks for the questions and I hope you like this newest update!

* * *

 **Fireworks**

Before I'd even opened my eyes I felt the pain.

My leg was on fire, wrought with so much agony that I felt it reverberating throughout my entire body. In my drowsiness I couldn't remember why it hurt or what had happened to me nor did I understand why my neck ached as well.

When I finally opened my eyes all I saw was darkness. I felt the softness of a futon under me and there was a roof over my head, walls all around me and a floor underneath my body but the house I was in was not familiar. Whoever had put me here had covered me in blankets to stave off the cold and there was something similar to a bandage wrapped around my neck.

When I tried to move it the pain grew so unbearable that I cried out. My voice echoed throughout the small room many times over, a feeble and pathetic sound which made me question if it truly belonged to me.

Where was I? And why was I in so much pain?

Suddenly a shadow appeared in the doorway.

I froze, staring up at the man who'd been summoned by my cry. He was tall and broad-chested with deep red hair tied back in a ponytail, his crisp eyes glowing in the dim light. He bore an expression of gentle concern yet there was a sombre rigidity within them too almost as if he'd just heard very bad news.

 _Amagiri-san…_

I was so relieved to see a familiar face that hot tears began to trickle from the corner of my eyes.

When Amagiri saw me begin to cry he knelt down beside me, reaching out to press his hands against my shivering body. 'Chizuru-sama, try not to move.' He advised quietly as if he was afraid someone was eavesdropping.

I did as he said but wasn't sated with not knowing what had happened to me. 'What's going on? Why does my leg hurt?' I asked groggily, too dazed to search for the memories I'd lost. There was a nagging voice in the back of my head telling me I'd forgotten about something important but I had a feeling that whatever had happened had been something I'd rather forget anyway.

Amagiri responded before I could assess what exactly that was. 'It's ok, Chizuru-sama. I've stitched and bandaged your leg wound and it should heal relatively quickly once you regain your powers. In the meantime it's best not to aggravate your injuries.' He said softly.

I frowned, perplexed by his mention of the loss of my powers. Although the statement confused me I knew that he was right because it felt like I'd had all the energy drained from my veins. But how had I lost my powers? I still didn't know why I was hurt.

Frowning deeper, I blinked up at him to clear my vision. 'My powers? What happened to them?' I murmured, looking past him as my sight slowly grew sharper. I was in a room with no furniture and one window from where I could see the stars twinkling in the night sky.

I reflected briefly on how beautiful they were before I forced myself to stay focused.

Amagiri seemed reluctant to tell the truth and kept his eyes averted from mine. 'You were poisoned, Chizuru-sama. You will most likely be powerless for while so you need to get as much rest as possible.' He said, reaching out to tuck me in as he saw I'd squirmed enough to loosen the blanket around my body.

I let him do so placidly but I couldn't erase the frown from my face.

I… I remembered now.

I'd been shot in the leg with what I now knew were poisoned bullets. Bullets poisoned with a toxin similar to the one used against my village when I'd been a child. It had resulted in the complete shutdown of all my abilities, from my lesser abilities to my clan power, and so I was basically useless at the moment.

And I remembered… blood.

So much blood, coating my hands and pooling on the dirt. It hadn't been my own but someone else's, someone very important to me.

Oh God…

 _Kazama-san._

The first thing that came into my head when I thought of his name was his blood coating my hands. He'd been shot just as I had except twice in the stomach and he'd lost so much blood that he'd passed out within a single minute of his injuries. I'd tried so hard to save him despite my own weakness, despite… despite being bitten by that rastesu.

I could still feel his fangs in my neck.

Shooting up in my futon, I hadn't even finished rising before I screamed his name. 'Kazama-san!' I cried as I threw the blankets off me, excruciating pain shooting up my thigh and into my torso.

Amagiri's hands came out to still me but I swiped them away, panting as my distress and pain almost rendered me unconscious once again. 'Kazama-san… is he… is he…?' I started, my sentence cut off by a petrified swallow.

I didn't want to know the answer, not if it was what I feared.

Amagiri desperately tried to keep me from tearing my stitches as I attempted to stand. 'He's alive, Chizuru-sama. He's in another room with Shiranui.' He said, still trying to restrain me but there was no way I was going to stay here when I knew Kazama was somewhere else.

The relief at knowing he was alive almost knocked me out but there was just enough concern in Amagiri's voice to tell me he didn't know if he would stay that way for much longer. I'd never seen Amagiri so defeated.

Tearing away from him and lurching to my feet, I had to lean against the doorway so I didn't collapse. 'Where… where is he?' I moaned, my voice breaking as I looked down the hallway in an effort to see another doorway.

Was he conscious? Had Amagiri managed to treat his wounds too?

My mind was reeling with enough fear to kill me and if the panic didn't then seeing Kazama's lifeless body surely would. I would have done anything in that moment to save him, anything at all no matter what the cost. My body, my soul… I would have given away everything I had to bring him back to health again.

Amagiri didn't have enough time to respond before I'd taken off down the hallway.

My world was falling to pieces with each step I took, my thoughts on a constant loop of my faded memories. As I opened each door along the hallway and found nothing I grew even more stressed, begging the universe to forgive my foolishness for having made Kazama take me to the village. I promised that I would never do anything like this again no matter how many other lives were at stake because at the end of the day I couldn't live without him.

Just thinking about it was so terrifying I had to stop and catch my breath.

Slumping against the wall as I panted, Amagiri pressed his hand to my arm. 'Chizuru-sama, he's in here.' He said, grabbing my hand softly and helping me stagger down to the room he'd gestured to.

So absorbed in my desperation to see him, I practically kicked the door open.

Shiranui turned to watched me enter but he didn't make one of his usual cheeky remarks. Instead he maintained his seated position in the corner of the room and stared at me with a mix of pity and surprise at my abrupt entrance. The room I walked into was bigger than the one I'd been in and it appeared to be a lounge area with a fireplace at the back, hosting a hearty fire that cast the room in a soft orange glow.

The heat felt pleasant on my skin but still my blood ran cold as I scoured the room for Kazama, my body refusing to calm down until I'd found him.

And find him I did.

He was laying only a metre from the fire on his futon, his body wrapped just as securely in blankets as mine had been. His skin was slightly translucent and the colour of death tainted his usually supple flesh. His lips were bloodless and his eyes closed, making the grey surrounding them even more prominent.

He looked like he was already dead.

I didn't wait for Amagiri's permission as I stumbled over to his body and threw myself down by this side, ignoring the searing pain in my thigh from my own injuries. Instantly my sight was compromised by my tears, each one filled with more misery than I could even process, and I reached out to touch his cheek with my hand.

He was _freezing_.

Gritting my teeth to hold back a sob I leaned down to press my forehead to his chest, not caring that Amagiri and Shiranui were watching me motionlessly.

What had I done? What would I do if I lost him?

Not yet a week after I'd found out he was the man from my memories and already he may disappear from my life. I'd spent so many years yearning to know who he was and just as much time wishing that I could have him by my side again, not only for his company but because he'd been a piece of my old life. Kazama was the man entrusted to me by my father himself, a man considered worthy enough for my hand in marriage, and I'd promised myself a long time ago that if I ever found him again then I wouldn't take him for granted.

Amagiri and Shiranui didn't interrupt me as I laid down fully beside his unconscious body, offering him as much of my warmth as I could give. Even so close to the fire his skin was so icy and I didn't understand how he could be so cold and yet be alive. I wanted to believe that he would pull through but if neither of us regained our powers then it was only a short amount of time before he slipped away.

And this time I wouldn't be able to save him, just like how I couldn't save my father when he'd died.

Amagiri shut the door to the room and settled down near Shiranui. 'I removed both of the bullets and stitched his wounds but I cannot repair the damage done to his organs. The most we can do for now is hope he holds on until the poison burns out.' He said, doing a marvellous job of sounding composed even though Kazama was on his death bed.

All I could do was shift closer to Kazama's side, resting my cheek on the front of his shoulder.

Amagiri continued when he realised I couldn't or wouldn't speak. 'We managed to settle the escaped villagers into whatever homes remained and wipe out the rest of the soldiers. However, it was in doing so that we uncovered some… unfortunate news.' He sighed, seated on a wooden seat. He looked tired and exhausted, making me wonder how long it had been since Kazama and I had been sleeping.

The only sign that I gave to suggest I was listening was a lift of my head from Kazama's chest. What could possibly be more unfortunate than what was happening now? Kazama was possibly only moments from death and it was all my fault. Did they blame me too? Did they blame me for this?

The shame and guilt was nigh on unbearable.

When Amagiri saw I was listening he carried on, albeit unenthusiastically. 'We became aware that the government has… teamed up with the rancours. In exchange for an improved version of the Ochimizu, one that completely wipes out their vulnerability to bloodlust and light, the government will lend them soldiers to help locate and then destroy our clans. And as the rancours knew that we were working with the government they have requested our locations as well. Although I don't believe this particular village raid occurred because they knew we were near, it seems as if they are hunting us nonetheless.' He forewarned, a tone in his voice that I'd never heard.

I couldn't believe it. The government was going to aid the rancours in hunting us down. Even after Kazama and the others had offered their services to them in order to repay their debts to the Satsuma and Choshu clans they were intent on betraying them.

But why…?

Maybe they believed the oni were too powerful to let live, even if they were to do so peacefully in their own villages.

Finally my panic ebbed enough to let me speak but still I did not pull away from Kazama's body. 'So do they know where we are now?' I murmured, turning my burning eyes to Shiranui too who was staring forlornly down at his fingers as he played with a piece of debris.

It took Amagiri a few moments to choose an answer to my question but eventually he shook his head. 'I do not believe so. However, it is more important than ever to guard your existence from the rancours. If they discovered a member of the Yukimura clan survived, and the princess no less, they would make it their priority to hunt you down. We cannot stay here for long for this reason.' He stated, shifting his eyes from me to Kazama who I was laying against.

Swallowing, I fought the tears that wanted to escape my eyes. 'So how long will I not be able to use my powers for? Neither of us can go anywhere in our states.' I whimpered, referring to Kazama and I. I tried so hard to appear as composed as Amagiri but in my head even the news of our betrayal hadn't dampened the grief I felt in my heart for what I'd done to Kazama.

If he died then I deserved death too.

Amagiri sighed, then suddenly he was kneeling right beside us. 'I'm not sure. It's hard to tell as the poison that was used to subdue your family was much weaker than this one. They have been working on this toxin for decades now so the duration of its effects may be for days, if not weeks. It may yet be permanent.' He speculated.

I was horrified. To hear that the loss of my powers may yet be permanent… I couldn't imagine such a thing. Even so soon after learning how to use them the loss of my abilities made me feel hollow and empty. I would be neither human nor oni without them. I wouldn't belong to either race.

Wiping the tears from my eyes as they finally spilled, I looked down at Kazama's pale face.

It hurt for me to look upon him in this condition. He was so pale, whiter than a ghost, and it was a miracle he was still living given all the blood he'd lost. Once again I vowed that I would never take him for granted again nor would I pressure him into doing something he didn't want to do. I didn't regret saving those humans but at the end of the day if someone asked me who I'd want to save between them and Kazama, I would pick him.

I would always pick him.

Suddenly a patch of red caught my eye and I looked down to see the blood leaking through the surface of Kazama's blankets. Amagiri also looked down at Kazama's abdomen at the same time, supressing a sigh as he turned around to grasp the basket of bandages and medical supplies he'd no doubt scavenged from the nearby houses.

When Amagiri peeled back the blanket to begin redressing his wounds, the blood drained from my body too.

Kazama's blood had completely soaked through the dressings. There was not an inch of white left on his bandages and the sight was despairing. It was dumbfounding how two little bullet holes could reap this much damage and I pondered whether or not it was the poison contributing to the bleeding.

Maybe the poison was hindering his recovery in addition to preventing the use of his powers.

Amagiri sighed, pushing up his sleeves as he prepared to undo Kazama's bandages. 'I've stitched the wound but the blood continues to seep through. His whole body's in shock from the blood loss and it's probably best that he's unconscious because he would be in a lot of pain. But Chizuru-sama, please… don't blame yourself.' He sighed, turning to me emotively as I stared in horror at Kazama's blood.

His words startled me.

Even after all this, after what my selfish actions had wrought, did he really expect me not to blame myself? And more applicably, did _he_ really not blame me?

Wiping the tears from my eyes as they finally spilled, I looked down at Kazama's pale face. 'This… this is my fault.' I sobbed, growing more hysterical the longer I examined Kazama's motionless body. 'I just wanted to save the people in the village. I didn't mean for this to happen or for Kazama-san to get hurt. I just didn't… I never thought… that it would come to this.' I whimpered defeatedly, taking one of Kazama's icy hands into mine.

Amagiri appeared to be sympathetic with my guilt but he shook his head. 'What's done is done. Just ensure you save your own energy and keep your health up as best you can, as once you regain your powers it may be possible for you to heal him. Fear not, Chizuru-sama. This is not the first time he has been grievously injured and pulled through.' Amagiri said.

He was right, but it didn't make it any better. He'd been hurt lethally by a rancour which is what had led to his trip to my village when I was 7 and maybe there were other times too. But this time was the worst of all.

This time it was because of me.

Before Amagiri could begin to clean Kazama's wounds I stopped him. 'No. I will do it.' I rasped, my throat suddenly tight again.

Amagiri stared at me for a second as if assessing whether I was emotionally stable enough but he didn't protest. 'Very well, Chizuru-sama. In that case I will fetch you some food and water.' He capitulated, bowing his head as he raised himself off the floor and disappeared.

Once he was gone I looked back down at Kazama. As expected he showed no signs of alertness nor did he seem to be responsive in any way. Even with Amagiri and I touching him he hadn't even twitched which meant he was deeply unconscious, so when I finally started to redo his bandages he didn't move an inch.

Although I was worried because of his lack of consciousness, I hoped that he'd lost it swiftly because I hated the possibility that he'd seen me get bitten by that rasetsu. The feeling had been more putrid than any other unpleasant sensation I'd had the misfortune of experiencing. It was like his presence was still inside of me, reminding me not only of what he'd taken but what he'd done to Kazama. If I had have been less stressed then I would have been both livid and scarred as such an act was supposed to have been done with someone I cared for. Yui had explained to me it's significance but it hadn't really sunk in until now.

Shivering with horror, I turned my attention back to Kazama as I treated him.

I dipped a cloth into a bowl of water and then used it to clean his wounds, being careful not to pull on the stitches Amagiri had put there. I could see from my medical knowledge that he'd done them well but even so the blood refused to cease, continuing to leak out just moments after I'd washed the wound.

It was woeful, actually, to watch. I'd never felt more hopeless than I did now, not even when I'd had no knowledge of my powers or swordplay. Right now was the single most bleak and desolate occasion of my whole life as I stared down at the man who unbeknownst to me had been the person I'd always dreamed of seeing again.

When I peeled back the bandages to uncover his wound, something silver caught my eye.

Craning my neck to see the side of his torso, I noticed what I'd seen was his premonition marking. It was beautiful, taking on the same colour as the stars themselves. The three constellations he'd told me about in Yamamura stretched from under right his arm to just above his hip and the stars were connected by straight silver lines that seemed to glow dully in the dim firelight.

Running my fingers over its surface, his skin was smooth yet cold. That in itself was enough of a wakeup call for me to remove my hand from his milky side and resume treating him but every so often my eyes would flick to the marking to gaze upon its silvery colour.

Once I'd redressed his wounds I laid down beside him and covered us with the blanket. Even though it was uncomfortable to be in contact with his glacial skin I told myself I'd gladly endure it for the rest of my life in order to save his. This was a least I could do after causing all this and it was possible that my body heat may just be the thing to keep him alive until I regained my powers.

Wrapping my arms around him and nestling against his side, I rested my cheek against the front of his shoulder.

It was hard to stop myself from hoping that any moment he'd wake up. On any normal occasion if we'd been laying like this he'd probably make a few cheeky comments, pull me closer, and maybe he may have even tried to kiss me again. More than ever I wanted to experience that with him.

Suddenly Amagiri appeared in the room, holding my bag in one hand and some bread in the other.

He gently dropped my bag by my side just as I raised myself slightly. 'Here you go, Chizuru-sama. It is wise to eat something as you've been unconscious for quite some time.' He advised, reminding me that I still had no idea how long it had been since the incident in the village.

Nodding weakly and taking the bread from him, I sat up properly but remained close to Kazama. 'How long has it been exactly?' I questioned feebly, staring down at the bread in my hand and wondering if I'd be able to stomach it.

Amagiri sat back down next to Shiranui, resting his forearms on his knees. 'It's been 7 hours. I took you straight here once you fell unconscious and tended to your wounds after I treated Kazama's.' He explained, his eyes flicking briefly to the bandage wrapped around my thigh. It was only then that I realised he'd cut off the leg of my pants right up to my underwear line in order to access the wound.

Swallowing, my face grew hot for a second before I thought of something else to ask. 'What do the villagers think about… about what happened?' I murmured, unsure what the consequences would be now that some of them had seen the rastesus and what they were capable of.

Did they think they were monsters?

Amagiri grew tense at the question, nudging a bit of debris with his foot. 'They are… confused. I've heard whispers that they think they were vampires. They believe they will strike again soon so most of them are gathering what belongings they have left and are migrating to one of the nearby towns.' Amagiri sighed, watching me carefully as I registered his words.

It was definite that the rasetsus would haunt the villagers forever, in their dreams and in their memories, just like they'd done to me when I'd first been attacked by them upon entering Kyoto. They'd ruined all these people's lives, torn apart families, destroyed their village.

And one had hurt me too.

Raising my hand to my throat, I tentatively rested my hand on the bandage covering my bite mark.

Even though the rasetsu was dead I could feel him _inside_ of me. I could feel his fingers on my skin and his voice in my ear, and it felt like that we were still connected even from beyond the grave, reminding me just what he'd done to me and to the man I cared for.

It was enough to cause bile to rise in my throat.

Amagiri watched a range of different emotions flick across my face before he spoke. 'I apologise, Chizuru-sama, for not arriving in time to prevent what was done to you.' He sighed, bowing his head in a show of remorse.

I was humbled at his apology but it was by no means his doing.

Shaking my head, I dropped my hand from the aching wound in my neck. 'It's not your fault, Amagiri-san. It's what I deserved for dragging everyone into this.' I murmured, looking down at Kazama for a while before I found it too painful to observe his insipid complexion.

Turning back to Amagiri, I rested both my hands in my lap. 'Will I be able to heal the mark when I regain my powers?' I asked hopefully, desperation bubbling within me to rid myself of its ache forever.

Unfortunately, Amagiri did not seem as hopeful as I. 'It is unlikely. Bites from other onis must heal in their own time, and even though this man was a rastesu it appears as if his bite was authentic enough to prevent healing. It may be days before it disappears from your skin completely and just as long before his presence fades from your blood. Biting is normally as act of courting, Chizuru-sama.' He said regretfully, unaware that I'd already had the phenomenon explained to me by Yui.

I nodded, lowering my head. 'I know. I just… I just can't believe that a rasetsu could have done this. I would never have predicted such an improvement in the Ochimizu, one that would allow them to grow closer to being real onis. I thought all this stopped upon Kodo's death.' I mused injuredly, bewildered how even after my adopted father's death that the Ochimizu was still being produced; and in larger quantities too, as apparently the government intended to turn their armies into rasetsus as well.

Letting out a soft sigh, I finally began to eat the bread Amagiri had given me.

Amagiri didn't respond with words but he gave a small nod of agreement. He too hadn't thought it would come to this, where there was such a threat on our existence. Sure, the humans had always desired either to control us or exterminate us but now that they were working with the rancours who had poison capable of rendering us powerless…

That was truly disquieting.

After I'd finished eating, I reached into my saddlebag to try to find my water flask, however, I found something else instead.

Something very familiar to me.

As soon as I felt the cool metal of my bracelet my throat closed with emotion. I'd missed wearing it even if I didn't want to admit it to myself. I'd taken it off in order to prove a point to Kazama and to communicate my displeasure with how he'd lied to me, hoping that by refusing to wear it then he'd understand just how betrayed I'd felt.

But that feeling of betrayal had faded now. After what had happened I didn't want to be angry with him anymore because I realised that any time we had together was special. At the end of the day I couldn't change our past and I couldn't change that he'd been deceptive but I _was_ capable of taking control of what happened from now on.

I could either hold onto my hurt forever or I could move on. And I wanted to move on.

So instead of continuing to look for my flask, I pulled the bracelet out of my bag.

Shiranui and Amagiri watched curiously as I fastened it around my wrist. The sun charm sparkled in the firelight as did the moon charm he'd given me, a perfect embodiment of our prophecy, and I lightly touched both charms before letting my wrist fall back into my lap.

Fishing out my flask and drinking enough to sate me, I placed it back in my back and then lay down next to Kazama once more. I didn't mind that Amagiri and Shiranui were watching me as I settled down next to his body and pressed myself again him, focusing on the vague rise and fall of his chest.

And after a few minutes I closed my eyes and allowed myself to relax, exhaustion eventually clouding my thoughts.

* * *

 _When I opened my eyes I was all alone._

 _I instantly sat up, scouring the room for Amagiri and Shiranui but there was no one with me. The fire had gone out and the cold pierced my bones and muddled my thoughts, so much so that it took me a while to wonder how I'd gotten here._

 _Where was I? And why was it so dark?_

 _I frowned, looking down at the ground beneath me and trying to piece together what had happened. I didn't know where I was or how I'd gotten here but there was something eerie enough about the atmosphere that made the situation even more uneasy._

 _Something was wrong._

 _Standing up, I decided I needed to escape. I needed to get outside and try to find someone, anyone, so I could ask them what was going on. There was no way I could stay in this room for much longer without losing my mind, however, when I searched all four walls I realised there was no door. There was no way for me to escape. No door, no windows, nothing I could escape through. Even the fireplace had no chimney._

 _I was sealed inside like a prisoner._

 _Trying to remain calm, I opened my mouth to call out. 'Hello? Can anyone hear me? Amagiri-san?' I asked loudly, my voice wavering. I heard the fear in my words as they echoed several times over before fading from the room. I was trying so hard not to panic but the shadows seemed to be creeping closer._

 _I would have done anything in that moment to get out of wherever I was or at least to hear or see someone I knew. I wanted someone to tell me what was happening and how I'd managed to get inside a room with no doors or windows._

 _It was impossible._

 _Wrapping my arms around myself, I walked over to one of the walls and pressed my ear to it. I tried to listen for other voices, or wind, or something that let me know I wasn't truly all alone._

 _But there was nothing. It was like this room was in the middle of nowhere, floating in space, or perhaps somewhere even more desolate. I couldn't sense the presence of life other than my own and that was disconcerting enough to fill my eyes with petrified tears._

 _Suddenly, I heard a soft whisper behind me._

 _Spinning around with wide eyes, I was terrified to find no one there. The whispering had only been brief and unintelligible but I'd definitely heard it. There was someone, or something, in here with me but I couldn't see them._

 _Taking in a deep breath, I subconsciously pressed my back against the wall. 'H…hello?' I whimpered, beginning to tremble for more reasons than just the cold gripping my limbs._

 _And then I heard it again._

'This is your fault…'

 _The voice was louder now. It wasn't accusatory or angry, but mocking._

 _It sounded like it was making fun of me._

 _Hugging my torso tighter as if to comfort myself, I was unable to say anything in return. I was frozen with fear and confusion, my feet plastered to the wooden floor as I continued to search the room for the owner of the voice. I could feel them in here with me now, a dull presence but a presence nonetheless._

 _And I could sense their malice. It was cold and hateful, but there was an undertone of amusement as well._

 _They were enjoying my fear._

 _All of a sudden I heard a cruel chuckle emanate from all around me. 'This is your fault, oni.' A man hissed wickedly, still refusing to show his face._

 _He said the word with so much distaste that I quivered involuntarily._

 _I screwed my eyes shut in fear, sliding down to the floor and hugging my knees. If this was a nightmare I wanted to wake up from it right now. I just wanted to be gone from this place._

 _And when I finally opened my eyes my heart stopped in my chest._

 _It was him._

 _It was the rasetsu that bit me._

 _When he saw the look of horror cross my face he flashed me a wild grin. He still had my blood around his mouth and down his shirt, the same look of hunger in his eyes as when he'd first bitten me. But this time there was something else in his eyes too, something even more sinister, and it made it impossible for me to move even as he began to approach me._

 _His steps were slow and deliberate, savouring the fact I couldn't escape. 'This is your fault.' He repeated again, this time with added derision. He finished his sentence with another harsh chuckle, continuing to show his razor sharp teeth._

 _The bite in my neck ached the closer he got, reminding me that this man and I were more or less bound. The nearer he came the stronger link I could feel to him, a link of body and mind and one that left me ice-cold inside. I could feel what he was feeling and sense the pleasure he drew from my terror and it was sickening and sadistic all at once._

 _And I_ still _didn't know what he was accusing me of._

 _Drawing in a sharp breath, I huddled tighter against the wall. 'What… what's my fault? I don't un…understand.' I asked, my voice barely a whimper. He was so close to me now, close enough that I could smell my blood on his clothes._

 _Finally he came to crouch in front of me, reaching out to grab my face._

 _I squealed, instantly trying to slap his hand away but before I knew it his fingers had grasped my chin. '_ This _is your fault, oni. Look at what you've done.' He said, still making no sense, but when he forcefully turned my head to the left I saw all along what he'd meant._

 _Laying on the ground just metres from me was Kazama._

 _He was lying in a pool of his own blood, motionless. His eyes were open but the light inside them had been extinguished, replaced by two lifeless irises that were devoid of his usual twisted humour and brightness. His skin was white and bloodless and he wasn't breathing, confirming my worst nightmare._

 _He was dead._

 _I barely heard the scream that tore itself from my mouth and I pulled myself away from the rasetsu and over to Kazama's body._

 _Throwing myself down beside him, I cupped his face in my hands and willed him to wake up. 'Kazama-san!' I sobbed, clumsily wiping the blood from his mouth and silently imploring him to start breathing again._

 _By the lack of warmth in his skin and the onset of rigor mortis he'd already been dead for a few hours. Even if I had my powers available to me I still wouldn't be able to bring him back. His soul was long gone, leaving him just a cold, empty shell._

 _Covering my mouth to stifle another scream, I leaned down and pressed my forehead to his chest. 'No, no, no…' I chanted repetitively, refusing to accept that he was gone. If there was one thing I knew for sure it was that I couldn't live without him, not anymore. He was a part of me now._

 _I wasn't ready to let him go._

 _Suddenly my head was torn back by my hair and the rasetsu leaned in close to my ear. 'Do you see now, oni? He's dead because of you and your selfishness.' He spat, his words drilling into my brain. 'All this is because of you. Not me, not the humans, not the other rasetsus._ You _brought him to the village, and_ you _condemned him to death.' He hissed, dragging me up into a standing position._

 _I screamed as he hauled me upwards, trying to reach for Kazama again but the rasetsu held me back._

 _Fighting desperately, I tried to slash and hit my way out his grip but it was futile. No matter how hard I struggled it didn't get me anywhere and in fact the rasetsu seemed to enjoy it, chuckling wickedly at my feeble attempts to re-join the man at our feet._

 _My grief made me wild, covering my thoughts with a hazy screen of blinding sorrow. I had no regard for my own wellbeing as I tried to wrench myself from the rasetsu's grip using any means possible, tearing and scraping at his flesh even though it was now beginning to anger him. All I could think about was Kazama and how he was laying on the floor beneath me, dead because of my actions._

 _It was enough to drive me insane._

 _Suddenly I felt a spark of something ignite inside me. A small source of warmth, of light._

 _Immediately I froze, begging it to be what I thought it was. It grew stronger and stronger by the second, filling up every crevice in my body and soul, abolishing the lethargy in my limbs. It raged through my blood and seared my veins, hot enough to elicit a cry from my lips._

 _But I knew exactly what it was._

 _My power._

 _Without hesitation I seized a handful of energy, snatching it violently from the darkness and tugging it into my arms and legs to give me added strength._

 _I didn't even have enough time to relish in my power before I'd shoved the rasetsu off me, sending him skidding back a few steps and into the wall._

 _The energy bristled in my arms as I spun around to face him, just in time to see his expression morph from surprised to livid. He snarled at me, baring his fangs, and getting into position to attack. I could see in his eyes that he'd had enough of games now; the next time he caught me he was going to drain me of blood, leaving me as lifeless as Kazama._

 _But I wouldn't go down without a fight._

 _Snarling again, the man's hair began to wash white. 'Do you forget that I own you, oni? That bite on your neck is proof of my possession. You're mine to treat as I please.' He sneered, gesturing to the bandage on my neck._

 _Blinded my grief and anger, I barely heard him._

 _Before another jeer could leave his mouth I'd lured a tendril of energy to my skin, sucking in a breath as it bound to my flesh. Fuelled by my emotions, the transformation was almost instantaneous and after only a second I felt my horns emerge and claws sprout from my fingertips, the darkness of the room retreating as my sight improved._

 _I immediately reached forward to grab his shirt, pushing him against the wall with enough force to break a normal human's spine. 'You do_ not _own me. No matter how many times you bite me you will_ never _own me, and I will_ never _let you do it again.' I vowed lethally, baring my own fangs just as he was baring his._

 _I could feel my claws beginning to pierce the skin of his chest the harder I gripped him._

 _Instinctively he went to raise his arm to push me back, but I grabbed it and slammed it back against his side again. Now he was the one struggling against my hold, trying to break free but unable to. I hoped he understood just how trapped he'd made me feel and how much agony he'd caused me to suffer through the bite on my neck, leaving me a prisoner in my own body._

 _But no matter how angry I was I wouldn't take his life as he was trying to take mine._

 _So letting out a sharp hiss, I punched him in the stomach hard enough to wind him._

 _The triumph was bittersweet as I watched his eyes roll back in his head and fall forward onto the ground with a dull thud. All I did was step to the side to let him fall, trembling despite my own power, inwardly shocked at my own violence but knowing I'd had no other choice._

 _He was unconscious now, but I didn't know how long he would be for._

 _And just as I went to turn to Kazama everything faded to black._

* * *

As soon as my eyes opened I shot up in the futon.

My heart was pounding, there were tears in my eyes and my hands were shaking. I was quaking with a mix of fear and panic, traumatised from the ordeal and stunned at having woken up so abruptly. The fire was still blazing and Shiranui and Amagiri were nowhere to be seen but their whereabouts was the last thing on my mind right now.

Pressing my hand to my heart, I focused on calming my breathing.

It had all been a dream. The doorless room, the rasetsu, the darkness… it had all been a dream, a figment of my imagination, but it had been so terrifying.

And Kazama….

Suddenly filled with panic, I looked down at the man who was still lying beside me.

I dreaded that I'd find him lifeless just like I had in my nightmare, white and sickly, but to my relief he was breathing. Unconscious, but still breathing. He was pale and unmoving but I could see the rise and fall of his chest, letting me know that there was still hope.

My tears of relief fell without permission and I brushed them away, preparing myself to lay back against him.

But before I could settle back down I felt a warmth flood my veins.

In an instant a sizzling heat infected my whole body, battling off the weakness I'd felt for far too long. I recognised the sensation as soon as it returned to its rightful place within my body, finally released from the confines of wherever the poison had banished it. The relief was so crushing that I let out a deep breath and slumped over as the heat threatened to burn me alive.

I could feel it working already, trying to heal my thigh wound.

But the healing of my own wounds wasn't why I was so relieved.

 _Kazama-san…_

Letting out a brief cry of desperation, I practically tore the blanket off Kazama to expose his bandaged chest. My mind was running wild, tears of joy pouring from my eyes as I realised that I had a chance at saving him. I could heal his wounds and restore him to complete health and I would use up all my energy to do so.

As I tore off his dressings and prepared to spill my own blood to heal his wound, I stole a tendril of gold to summon my oni form. Kazama had told me a long time ago than my clan power would be stronger and easier to control this way and I was not going to take any chances by healing him in my human form. I would do anything and everything I could to increase his chances of survival, and changing forms was so simple that it would be stupid not to do it.

Slicing through his bandages with my oni claws, I was faced once again with his bullet wounds.

Normally I would have paused to stare at them, horrified by how swollen and infected they appeared, but there was no time to dwell on my regret. I had the power now to heal him, to make it all better, and to waste another second would be foolish.

So without a moment of delay I sunk my fangs into my hand.

Blood sprayed all over my shirt from the force of my bite, dyeing the white cloth with speckles of gold. The light coming from it was so blinding I had to squint and it was hot enough to cause me pain, but not another second passed before I'd pressed my hand to his wounds.

I smeared the blood over both of the bullet holes, ensuring that there was enough to heal him wholly. I poured all the energy I had into the blood spurting from my bite and it was at least a full minute before the surface of his wound started to heal, the flesh knitting together like patchwork.

The sight was so gratifying that I let out a small sob, wanting to call out in joy and thank every deity in existence for blessing me with the recovery of my powers. My mind was reeling with excitement at knowing that Kazama was perhaps just seconds from waking up, seconds from opening his eyes, and I had no idea what exactly I was going to do when he fully awoke.

But I knew what I _wanted_ to do.

Something that I should have done back in the forest when I'd had the chance.

Strangely giddy at the idea and still drunk on my relief, I only noticed his wounds had fully healed once I took my hand away. His chest was fully smooth and woundless now, without blemish or fault, and I used my own sleeve to wipe the blood away so I could make sure I'd definitely healed him.

There was not even a scratch left. Nothing.

I'd done it.

Letting out a sigh of relief, I healed the wound on my hand as I waited for Kazama to awaken. After I'd healed that then I targeted my thigh, finishing the job that my healing powers had started, before moving onto my neck. Unfortunately Amagiri had been right; I couldn't heal my neck, but so ecstatic was I at Kazama's cure that for now I didn't mind so much.

If I had to endure this bite all over again for him then I would.

Letting out an exhausted sigh, I looked back down at Kazama's face.

When I'd healed the young girl's mother back at the last village that had been raided I'd noticed a change in her complexion within 30 seconds. Her skin had grown flushed, her breathing had picked up and her heart had steadied. Within a minute after that she'd stirred and shown signs of consciousness and that was why I'd had to leave so soon after healing her. The effects of her cure had been immediate.

And yet, this time…

Frowning as I got a bad feeling, I tried not to panic as I checked his pulse. His heartbeat was still slow and irregular, too weak to be considered healthy, and as I trailed my eyes down his body I saw that there had been no change at all… _anywhere_. He was still ghostly white, cold and rigid, despite the fact his wounds had completely closed.

I didn't know what was going on.

Had I failed to heal him all the way through to his organs? I doubted that was the case as my blood had healed the woman's wounds too and she'd had at least one of her major organs punctured by the sword she'd been stabbed with. When I ran my fingers over Kazama's chest everything under the skin felt healthy and healed and there was no swelling, no signs of internal bleeding, no signs of muscle tearing. He was healed perfectly, at least physically.

But even after another few minutes he showed no signs of alertness.

I was really panicking now. This had been the only option I'd had in order to save his life. It wasn't as if my blood hadn't worked because it had healed his wounds so the only reason he would still be unconscious would be…

He was still poisoned.

My poison had burned out, but what if his hadn't? What if it still lingered in his bloodstream? I knew that the way to heal poison was different than the way to heal injuries or at least I'd assumed that way, and so it was possible that healing his chest wounds hadn't cured him of the poison in his bloodstream.

But even if that was the case then how would I get rid of it? I didn't exactly have extensive training in my abilities so everything I knew at the moment was from my own experimentation. It was in these moments that I was particularly afflicted by the loss of my people because all the things they could teach me were now lost forever.

But… my father had healed my mother when she'd been poisoned. Even Kazama said so on the day he'd told me we'd been betrothed. He said my mother was gravely ill and was on her deathbed by the time she arrived at Kazama's village and it had been my father who'd healed her. Kazama hadn't explained how that had occurred, but Sen had.

Sen told me a few days before I'd left with Kazama.

 _Before she met your father, your mother had organised her to be betrothed to a man from another clan. On her way to his village she ate some poisonous berries by accident and became very ill, so ill that she lost consciousness and wouldn't wake up. When they arrived at her betrothed's clan your father was there and it was he that cured her poison. Do you know how he healed her? It's very romantic._

I remembered now, what he'd done to heal her.

He'd kissed her with blood on his lips.

I refused to believe that would be the only way to cure someone's poison and I wasn't exactly sure that he _was_ poisoned. I was still guessing at this point but whatever the issue was it needed to be treated right now because Kazama wasn't getting any better.

Staring down at him, I found my cheeks growing hot.

I'd established I'd do anything to save him but I was ashamed at myself for hesitating. If it meant he might be cured then why was I so overwhelmed by this? I'd fought rasetsus both in real life and in my dreams, been shot by bullets and chased by soldiers and even thrown myself in front of an arrow willingly for him and yet I was too gutless to kiss him? Even if it be to save his life?

I swallowed, taking in a deep breath.

The least I could do was try. If it didn't work then I would fetch Shiranui or Amagiri but I needed to exhaust all other possible alternatives before I sought their aid. If my powers couldn't heal him then I wasn't sure they'd be able to help anyway.

Before I could chicken out I pierced the tip of my finger with my fang, raising it shakily to my mouth. The blood that trickled from the small wound burned as I spread it over my lips like lipstick and I had to reassure myself every 3 seconds that what I was doing was necessary. This was my fault that he was injured. I owed it to him to do this, to heal him _completely_ , because I was the one who'd gotten us into this mess anyway.

Swallowing again, I peered down demurely at his face.

He really _did_ look ill and I hoped that this cured him because if this didn't work then I didn't know what else to do. This was my last resort and if it wasn't successful then I had to hope his body burned through the poison before he got any worse. Even though this was embarrassing I prayed that it would be effective because if it wasn't then I'd be out of ideas.

As I leaned down I could barely look at his lips without losing my mind but I forced myself to grow closer and closer, chanting repetitively that I was doing this to save his life. I would do anything to do so. He was more important to me than I'd thought possible.

 _This is for him._

So pressing my hand to the side of his face, I forced myself to close the distance.

With the first contact of my lips against his, the sensation was so alien that I opened my eyes. His lips were soft yet slightly chapped, a perfect fit against my own, and they felt nice despite their artic temperature. My first emotion was shock at having actually followed through with it, but after a while my body started to recognise that the action was… pleasant. My cheeks began to burn hotter and my eyes eventually flittered closed, and I permitted myself just the next few seconds to enjoy the sensation.

So _this_ was what it was like to kiss a man.

It didn't surprise me now why Sen always went on about it. Even such a chaste kiss incited such excited feelings in my body, electricity and sparks of thrill cascading through my limbs and giving me butterflies in my stomach. The main priority was making sure enough of my blood entered his mouth to heal his poison but the longer the kiss lingered for the less I thought about it, forgetting for a while that healing him was the purpose of the contact.

Letting out a soft breath through my nose, I leaned down further still to press my lips just a little harder against his. I was ashamed at myself for wanting more, for desiring to experience a deeper kiss, but with him in such a state it was inappropriate.

I wished I could stay like this forever.

When my blood grew cold on our lips, it took all my willpower to pull away from him.

Once I sat up properly my hands automatically pressed against my cheeks to seize their burning. I was embarrassed but also dazed that I'd actually just kissed him of my own accord and I couldn't decide whether or not I was more shocked or mortified what had happened, but there was a warm wooziness resting in my stomach.

 _My first kiss…_

When I looked down at his sleeping form, I blushed darker. I could still taste him on my lips, mingled with the taste of my own blood, and I knew that from this moment on his taste would be something I'd crave. Already I wished I could do it again.

Suddenly Kazama sucked in a sharp breath, jerking slightly.

I let out a screech at his sudden movement and fell back against the futon, observing him with wide eyes. I was fighting between mortification and crushing relief as he let out a soft groan but when tears started to pour from my eyes I realised it was the latter that had won.

I couldn't believe it had worked. Already his skin was slowly returning to its usual milkiness and I could hear with my oni hearing that his heart was beginning to pound faster and faster.

When he sat up and squinted in my direction, I was unable to contain it anymore.

I crawled forward to take his hand into mine. 'Kazama-san.' I sobbed, lowering my head as I couldn't bear to look into his eyes. He was still bewildered and probably confused about where he was so I knew a response might not come for a while but I couldn't stop myself from crying.

Instead of waiting for a response I leaned forward to wrap my arms around him.

I hid my red, crying face against his neck and told myself that I would let him see just for tonight how much I cared for him. It was true that I never liked to be vulnerable or to risk him suspecting that I had feelings for him, but after being faced with his death all that seemed petty.

And when I felt one of his arms wrap around me, albeit dazedly, I knew my vulnerability was worth it.

All of a sudden, Kazama let out another soft groan. 'Where… where are we, Chizuru?' He mumbled, his arm still around my shoulders but his voice confused enough to let me know he had no idea he'd almost died. He probably didn't realise what had happened.

Wiping the tears off my face before I responded, I refused to pull away from him. 'We are in the human village. You got injured so Amagiri-san brought you here.' I spluttered as he examined me curiously when he noticed I was in my oni form.

Kazama's arm suddenly raised off me so he could lift my chin to look at him.

As soon as I gazed into his eyes fresh tears escaped my own, and Kazama sighed as he inspected my puffy face. 'Are you ok, Chizuru? Your… leg.' He murmured, frowning slightly as the memories started to come back to him. I could see the confusion in his eyes begin to transform into understanding, and then worry.

I sniffed, wiping my tears off my face. 'I'm fine. I've healed us both but… but…' My voice started to waver as I thought once again how close I'd been to losing him. 'I'm sorry, Kazama-san. This was all my doing. I was selfish.' I wept, tears smeared over my face. I must have looked horrendous, covered in both of our blood and my own tears, not to mention sweat and dirt.

But Kazama didn't seem to mind.

His eyes travelling wearily to my thigh but when he saw no bullet wound there he let out a sigh. 'There is no need to apologise, Chizuru. The only thing that matters is that you're ok.' He murmured, still a bit groggy but he clumsily wiped the tears from my face.

It made me feel extra guilty how concerned he was for me. I felt like I needed to apologise a hundred times over before I was even worthy of his affectionate touches but I couldn't deny I was relieved he was doing so. I closed my eyes and let myself fully give in to his touch, the new tears eventually ebbing as he cleaned the existing ones from my face.

When I opened my eyes I pressed my hand to the one on my cheek. 'I thought you were going to die.' I almost whispered, my hand tightening around his.

Kazama's face went blank after those words.

His eyes locked with mine, filled with something I couldn't quite put a finger on. I saw him scouring my face for signs on how I felt and it didn't take him long to realise just how afflicted I'd been. It wasn't like my distress was hidden given the state I was in, dishevelled and tear stained, and I didn't bother to conceal it either.

I wanted him to know that I didn't want to let him go.

After several moments of silent staring, he finally made a move to touch me.

One of his hands slid into my hair and the other skimmed over my wrist, over the bracelet he'd given me as a child. He stared down at it for a while, seemingly understanding what kind of a message I was sending by wearing it again, and when he looked back up at me again I could see he knew I'd put it on because I'd forgiven him.

Taking my hand in his, he flipped it over to expose the sun charm. 'Did such a thought truly scare you, Chizuru?' He asked gently, referring to his own death.

I was forced to close my eyes, sealing in the tears.

 _Yes._

I nodded, placing my spare hand on top of his but I couldn't say anything. The truth was that it had petrified me. I never could have predicted a time where the mere possibility of Kazama's death could have made me so hysterical and the agony of watching over his motionless body would haunt me for a long time just as it had when I was a child.

Those feelings of hopeless, of guilt and regret… they would still hound me for weeks to come.

At my silent answer Kazama drew me closer to him, wrapping me in his warm arms.

I let him bring me as close as he desired and I slid my own arms around his torso, burying my face into his neck. I felt like I could stay here for the rest of my life, safely enveloped in his warmth, submerged in a peaceful silence where I could just rejoice in the fact he was alive. I wasn't embarrassed or ashamed for being so willing to accept his affection because that's what I'd been craving for all this time.

And when he began to stroke my hair, I gave into the sensation.

Kazama ran his fingers over my scalp, collecting my hair in his slender fingers. 'Look at me, Chizuru.' He murmured, maybe a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

I detected it instantly but did as he said, pulling my face from his neck and peering up at him.

My cheeks grew pink as I remembered our kiss but he distracted me by brushing a chunk of dirty hair from my eyes. 'You need not cry anymore. I came to this village for you, but that doesn't mean this is your fault.' He assured me, his voice almost a whisper.

I sniffed, fresh tears spilling out at his words. 'But…'

'What's done is done.' He interjected, pressing his fingers to my lips. 'Let's not dwell on things we don't have to. I don't want you feel guilty anymore.' He stated, tipping my chin upwards so I was forced to meet his eyes.

As soon as we established eye contact I was absorbed in his scarlet irises, mesmerised by the way the fire danced within them.

He understood through the expression on my face that I agreed, so he released my chin. I was so grateful that he didn't blame me for this whole situation and I thought to myself how lucky I was that he had the capacity to be so forgiving. Essentially I'd not only caused both of us to become grievously injured but I'd also put Shiranui and Amagiri at risk as well.

I deserved retribution but what he'd given me was clemency.

Swallowing, I tentatively lifted my fingers to slide across his cheek. 'Thank you, Kazama-san.' I said softly, my own cheeks growing pink at my display of tenderness.

Kazama didn't react to my gratitude straight away; instead he let me touch him, his eyes growing slightly half-lidded like mine did when he touched me.

And when he touched me back just the same, deep down inside I knew what was going to happen.

Letting out a soft breath, I tried to supress the anxious butterflies in my stomach as I slid my nails into his hair. His eyes clouded over for a split second before they flitted to my lips, analysing their shape and texture, and I felt his fingers grow tighter in my hair. His touch was drugging me and slowly all my hesitancy and nerves faded until the only thing left was my desire, thick and heavy, making my whole body ache.

As he leaned towards me, his eyes still slightly cautious, my eyes automatically closed as I felt his lips brush against my jaw.

Our contact felt like a current running through my body.

The touch of his lips coerced me into abandoning all rational thought, causing goosebumps to form on my skin. In my oni form everything was so much more sensitive, allowing me to feel the grooves of his lips and their impossible heat sifting under my skin and into my blood.

When he finally came to the corner of my mouth I felt like I'd waited an eternity. Just like in the forest he was trying to seduce me, doing his best to drive me wild, and it was working.

But I wouldn't let him tease me this time.

Summoning up all the courage within me, it was I who lightly grazed my lips across his.

In that exact moment I saw fireworks inside my head, bursts of colour and heat that threatened to fry me from the inside out. The connection was like anything I'd ever experienced before and I was powerless against it as it overcame my senses and made me inwardly beg for more.

Kazama didn't need encouragement to reciprocate my urgency, tilting his head and pressing our lips even harder together. Some part of me was too shocked with what was happening to process anything but the other part had already resigned to just trusting my own body. I didn't want to think, I didn't want to rationalise, I just wanted to _feel_.

And so I blocked out my own thoughts, allowing my body to take over.

Sliding my arms around his neck, I pressed our chests together and closed the rest of the distance. Kazama let me push him back down onto the futon, his hands shifting from my cheeks to my back, and he held me tight enough to suggest that he wasn't going to let go anytime soon. His skin was now back to its usual heat and it filtered through my clothes and onto my skin.

When Kazama parted his lips to deepen the kiss, I accepted his offer without a second thought.

As soon as his taste hit my tongue I relaxed against his body, swirls of warmth washing over me like ocean waves. He didn't really taste like anything in particular but the most notable aspect of our deepening kiss was his heat, a type of heat I'd never experienced before. It travelled downwards from our lips all the way to my feet, inciting ripples of pleasure strong enough to make my toes curl.

I'd never thought kissing would be like this.

Sen had told me it was nice but I hadn't known it would be a catalyst for so many emotions. I was unfamiliar with such potent feelings of chemistry, attraction and the blinding lust I could feel each time he ran his hands down my side. I could tell by the way he was kissing me that he too had decided it would be best just to stop thinking, to let his instinct control his actions, to listen only to the cues I was giving him with my own body.

Suddenly he flipped me over in one smooth motion, our lips breaking apart as consequence.

His intention was evidently to be on top, but he must have enjoyed the sight because he didn't make a move to claim my lips again straight away. Instead his blazing eyes settled on my face, drinking in the sight of me laying underneath him with flushed cheeks, and I could only guess how many times he'd imagined such a scenario in the past.

But before I had time to become flustered he'd already leaned down to press his lips to mine.

Permitting him to settle on my body, I obediently parted my lips when he did so. He barely gave me enough time to breathe but it wasn't the only reason why I was getting lightheaded, nor did I complain. I was much too caught up in my own emotions to care about my lack of breath or the bruises he'd probably leave on my skin from the strength of his grasp.

Several moments passed without our lips breaking contact and not once did we open our eyes. I let my body focus on his scent, his touch, the sound of his breathing, wishing that I would never have to stop. I wanted to do this for all eternity, to feel the weight of his body on me and taste the longing on his lips.

But unfortunately all good things had to come to an end eventually.

When Kazama plucked his lips from mine, I sucked in a few deep breaths and tried to calm my frazzled brain. I couldn't tell what he was thinking but I hastily averted my eyes before the situation caught up to me. I had no idea what was going to happen after tonight but I didn't want to ponder such a thing. I just wanted to focus on right now, but I kind of had no choice anyway because his lips were still just millimetres above my own.

Kazama slid his fingers lightly over my cheek, in the midst of catching his own breath. He looked like he wanted to say something but didn't know how to or wasn't sure he'd be capable of it after what had just happened. Even I felt like words were too far away from me at the moment.

But after his breathing had normalised, he skimmed his fingertips down my cheek. 'Stay with me tonight, Chizuru.' He bid softly, his lips brushing over mine as he spoke.

I swallowed, knowing he meant just for us to sleep in the same futon, and I didn't have to be persuaded to agree. After coming so close to losing him I didn't want to part from him just yet, especially after our recent passion.

Nodding, I lifted my hand to press against his cheek too. 'Ok, Kazama-san.' I said, struggling not to blush.

Kazama seemed pleased at my acceptance, moving off my body and lying beside me. I let him pull me close to his body and wrap an arm around me, enclosing me in a similar warmth I could see in his eyes.

My heart was brimming with something fuzzy and frivolous. I wanted to run around and scream at the top of my lungs and dance until I couldn't anymore. I felt so safe here in his arms, almost as if it was _right_ , and I banished from my head all musings of what would happen from now on and how our relationship would change.

Peering up at him, I struggled to maintain composure as I realised he was already looking at me. His eyes were soft and maybe pensive, his lips glistening with the enduring moisture of our kiss, and all his features seemed to reflect the firelight. He was so handsome, borderline irresistible, and I couldn't believe that someone like him could ever want someone like me. I had no doubt that I'd never experienced a more perfect moment in my life, laying here beside Kazama.

My heart was bursting.

Almost as if he could read my mind, he leaned over to collect my lips in a chaste kiss, letting the moment linger long enough for my legs to start trembling. I could sense him savouring the moment as well, memorising the softness of my lips and the feeling of my hair in his hands, as if he feared this would be out last night together.

And when he finally pulled away I was already blushing.

He chose not to comment on it or tease me for being embarrassed, and instead he swept my fringe away from my forehead and lay back down, pulling me back against him.

As he began to stroke my hair, I closed my eyes.

If someone had have told me a week ago that I'd be in this position then I wouldn't have believed them. I could never have predicted that I'd ever be laying by his side _or_ that we could ever share such an intimate moment, and judging by the strength of his heart beating under my hand he was just as overwhelmed as me.

But if there was one thing I'd learned about myself tonight it was that my feelings were deeper than I'd thought. The heat swirling in my heart was growing each day and now it was practically burning me alive, trying to make me aware of how I didn't just have feelings for him.

Deep down it was more than that. It was more than just feelings, more than just affection. It was something richer and more exhilarating yet something dangerous at the same time, something that I couldn't escape anymore and probably never could have.

And after several moments, after Kazama's hand went limp and he slipped into his dreams, I allowed myself to finally accept reality for what it was.

I'd fallen in love with him.

* * *

 **Ending note**

Thanks for reading everyone! I'm so proud to have reached over 100+ favourites and follows, plus almost 35,000 views for this story. Wow!

 **Btw** **please help me!** I especially need feedback surrounding Kazama and Chizuru's intimate scene as I have no idea if it was too cringey or too detailed, or not detailed enough. I have no clue. It took me like 5000 years to write because I didn't know how to go about it!

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	45. Insatiable

**OK SO** first of all I'm immensely sorry for the massive wait (like, almost 2 months). I just needed a break from writing for a while because, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but today is the 1 year anniversary of my story (yasss) and I've written the equivalent of like 3 books in it haha! It's also very fitting that it's the anniversary because it's just about to hit 40,000 views (what the heck).

Thank you to **KanaMac, CrystalSapphiremoon, Lady Renrider, Sumiko808, Yona0, Hana, umi amano, Maria, MayuoftheMoon, xSapphirexRosesxFanx, Cola, Coco, Synnocence, Riri, Poki, Lulu, sipesbjs409, Nafeesa, heavenXscent, jhamerter, snowbunny, imini9, Anon B, orangeporqupine, Cassiel, Lyukya19 and all the guests** for your reviews! Xoxoxoxoxo

 **Nafeesa** \- Like Yui mentions in the Snowflakes chapter, it does make the person feel the other's presence, dream of them and the other stuff she mentioned. As Chizuru explains in the chapter where she gets bitten it also provides a sense of physical gratification or pleasure which is why she feels so conflicted about it! Poor Chizuru :D

 **Lyukya19** \- Heeey :D Merci pour le review! Jai repondu a tes questions ci-dessous x

 **1\. A propos des reves-** Non les reves ne sont pas a cause du sang de son pere. Cest qu'un symptome du morsure (Yui explique ca dans le Chapitre 'Snowflakes')

 **2\. Les affaires de Kazama a Ezo** \- Haha tu vas decouvirir ca bientot

 **3\. Les affairs de Kazama quand Chizuru etait bourre** \- Il avait un reunion avec quelques membres des domains de Satsuma-Choshu. Kazama est techniquement sous le controle de ces domains jusqu'a la fin de la guerre a cause de son dette, et la guerre finira quand il arrive a Ezo.

 **4\. Les pouvoirs de Chizuru** \- non, ils sont tout :D Sen ne voulait pas faire peur a Chizuru, en plus les Shinsengumi seront peut etre un peu incertain si Chizuru apprends ses pouvoirs. Je ne me souviens pas du reste des raisons mais cest tout haha

 **Guest-** I don't actually have an update schedule haha. I post when I have the time and it also depends how long the chapter is and what else I have on :D on average each chapter takes about 15-20 hours to write plus editing so it's quite time-consuming.

Enjoy the chapter guys :D and **SPAM ALERT** if you have Instagram don't forget to follow me **fleurlilas_art.** I do art requests so if you need a free pic for your own story or your profile or something, then I'll make you one. Just PM me! I do them to practice my art, which is my second passion after writing :D I also have a YouTube account where I do speedpaints and would like to one day do art tutorials and/or writing 'workshops' as I feel like that's my forte. Anyway enough of my spam babbling. Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

 **WARNING- coarse language (btw do I need to keep adding this for coarse language? Like for the F word and stuff or do you all not care haha? I mean, if it was something serious like adult themes/intense violence/graphic sexual things then I'd put it in but… let me know what you think. I just don't want to get people all triggered by not putting it in :D)**

 **Insatiable**

 _Warmth_.

That was the first thing I felt when I began to awaken. Soothing, calming warmth that seeped under my skin and into my bones.

When I opened my eyes a little wider I saw I was still in my oni form. My hair was white and my claws extended, but it was my improved vision that confirmed it for me. Frowning, I also noticed that the bandage was still around my neck. The wound ached just as much as it had last night and I wondered if Kazama had seen it. Either he had been too exhausted to notice or he just hadn't mentioned it but either way I knew I couldn't hide it from him forever.

Suddenly someone shifted against me, their arm coming around to draw me closer to them.

There was someone next to me. I could hear their heart beating, hear their breathing and feel someone's chest pressed against my back. My thoughts were cloudy enough that I didn't understand straight away why there was someone laying here too but when I shifted around to face them I finally realised what was going on.

It was Kazama. I'd saved him last night. And… I'd given him my first kiss.

Swallowing, my cheeks grew pinker as I gazed upon his sleeping face. I'd been willing to do anything to bring him back to health, anything at all, and when I'd realised the poison still lingered I hadn't hesitated to cure him of it. It was too surreal to process what had happened and I didn't even want to think about how that would affect us now, but even through my uncertainty I knew I didn't regret it. It had been incredible, sparking a craving in me that I'd never known and wasn't sure if it could ever be sated. He'd been so gentle and so careful with me, like he feared I would break, but underneath the softness I sensed a hunger for me too. I'd sensed just how fiercely he'd yearned for that moment.

Just when I thought my cheeks couldn't get any hotter, Kazama's arm drew me tighter against his body. It was with panic that I realised he was beginning to wake up and the touch of his hand reminded me how hard he'd grasped me last night. I was certain he hadn't let me go since then because even now his arm was wrapped around me possessively.

Suddenly he drew in a deep breath, letting out a soft groan as his eyes rolled open.

My mind was a scrambled mess when he looked down at me, his eyes slightly glazed over, but it didn't take long for the understanding to creep into his expression. His face softened, his forehead smoothed out, and then he softly let out the breath he'd just taken in.

For a long time he just stared blankly into my eyes. I knew he had been even more surprised than I at the revelation that I was willing to kiss him. He may have _suspected_ I liked him but I was almost certain that he knew now, so the only question that remained was if he'd force me to admit it.

It was agony waiting for one of us to break the silence but he didn't make me wait long. 'Good morning, Chizuru.' He murmured, his voice still husky from sleep. As he addressed me my face turned even more scarlet, my tongue going limp in my mouth. Who would have thought that a kiss could leave me this incapable of even the most basic of replies.

Forcing myself to respond, I had to clear my throat before I let the words emerge. 'G-Good morning, Kazama-san.' I said, involuntarily exhaling with relief after I managed to push out my greeting. It felt like he was examining me even though his eyes were warm and mild.

Kazama's face relaxed even more as I gave my reply but just before he could deepen the conversation there was a soft knock on the door.

We both looked over at it at the same time but it was Kazama who reacted. 'Come in.' He said.

Without hesitation the door slid open, revealing Amagiri standing there fully dressed in his western attire. He didn't seem to be bothered by how Kazama and I were sharing a bed and it made me question whether he knew about what had happened last night. He must have been able to hear us talking, among other things, which would have explained why neither Shiranui and Amagiri had interrupted.

But I could see just how relieved Amagiri was to see Kazama healthy again.

He gave a short respectful bow, walking into the room with a tray of food and our water flasks. 'Kazama-sama, are you well?' He asked, coming closer to place the food and water in front of us. I recalled just how defeated Amagiri had appeared yesterday which meant he too had feared the worst would happen to Kazama. He must have been relieved to know he was awake.

Kazama gave me a soft look before he sat up, separating our bodies from one another. 'Indeed I am. I owe you thanks for taking care of Chizuru and myself yesterday.' He said, parting with one of his rare displays of genuine gratitude, and Amagiri lowered his head in acknowledgment. 'It was only my duty, Kazama-sama. I am pleased that you and Chizuru-sama have recovered. It is likely you will be well enough to leave the village by tomorrow.' He expressed.

It was true that I was tired but I was more than capable of leaving today. Healing Kazama last night had drawn a lot of energy but now that I was using my powers a lot more, and not just my clan powers, the draining of energy was easier on me than it used to be. In addition, the fact I was in my oni form meant that my energy had replenished quicker than usual and I hadn't required as much. And I wanted nothing more than to leave this place.

Kazama seemed to agree with me because he shook his head. 'There is no need to delay our departure. The sooner we are out of this accursed place the better so if Chizuru is fit to depart then there is no reason to remain.' He stated, turning his head to look at me for affirmation.

I nodded, blushing when his garnet eyes met mine. 'I am fine.' I voiced, my hand raising subconsciously to press to the bandage on my neck as the wound began to ache.

The pain seemed to come and go in waves as did the horrible feeling of that man's presence inside me. Even though he was dead it was like his touch lingered in my veins, sickly and unwanted, and it made me feel weak. It was like something was weighing me down and I couldn't shake it off, couldn't get rid of the feeling. I was desperate to know just how long I'd have to live with this before the bite healed on its own. Yui had implied it could be a long time, possibly up to a week.

Suddenly I felt another hand press to my neck, gentle yet inquisitive, and my heart fell as I realised it was Kazama.

Frowning, his soft fingers ghosted along the edge of the bandage. 'Did you injure yourself, Chizuru?' He asked, his gentle tone of voice communicating that he really had no idea what had caused the injury.

I cursed myself for drawing attention to the bandage by touching it. I had no clue how Kazama would react upon learning I'd been bitten by a rasetsu especially because such a thing was an act of courtship.

Frantically, I tried to come up with an excuse. 'Uh… I got hurt yesterday but the wound's already healed. I just forgot to take the bandage off.' I offered, begging inwardly for him to take the bait.

He looked at me perhaps a little suspiciously but thankfully he didn't question me further. 'I see.' He said, reaching up to absentmindedly push my fringe behind my ears. 'Well, if you are healed then we need not wait here any longer. We will migrate to the nearest section of the river to bathe and dress and then we shall resume the journey.' He said, but his tone wasn't as authoritative as usual. It was calm and soft.

I nodded, fighting against the giddiness still residing from last night.

Once Kazama had finished speaking, Amagiri gave a short bow. 'In that case I will leave you both to eat. The horses will be ready by the time you are ready.' He said, moving over to the door.

Kazama gave a short nod of his head, and then Amagiri left us in peace.

Once he was gone I felt all of Kazama's attention on me. 'Are you sure you are well, Chizuru?' He asked, tilting his head to one side as he watched me reach for a bowl of rice on the tray.

I passed it to him as I responded, trying to sound as convincing as possible. 'I'm fine, Kazama-san. I healed myself last night.' I assured him as I picked up my own bowl and chopsticks but Kazama didn't seem convinced. 'It is _because_ you healed yourself last night that I am concerned. It would have taken a lot of energy, especially since you healed me too.' He explained, keeping his eyes trained on me even as he began to eat.

I was only able to meet his eyes for long enough to put him at ease. 'It did take a bit of energy but I think I've gotten better at controlling it. And I was in my oni form too which made it easier still.' I murmured, peering down at my oni claws and the strands of platinum hair framing my face.

Kazama watched me silently for a while, mesmerised by my oni form even though I was caked with dirt and blood, and then he let out a sigh. 'You do _seem_ to be in good health, so as long as you are fine I am content.' He said, finally dropping the issue and looking down at his food.

I supressed a sigh of relief and began to eat too.

I had so many crazy emotions racing through me right now. I was overcome with joy at his survival, giddy from our kiss and also petrified that he would discover what happened to me. There was no way to predict what he would do if he ever found out about the bite on my neck but I was prepared to do whatever it took to hide it from him. I was sure to swear Shiranui and Amagiri to secrecy as well.

Kazama ate in silence after that, even though every so often he would look up at my face. Each time he did so I blushed like a little girl, unable to conceal the fact I was still very much affected by our intimacy last night. It was hard to believe that not only had I had my first kiss but that it had been with Kazama and I didn't want to think about what that meant for Hijikata and I. I'd already determined that I was, shamefully, in love with both men and I scolded myself for doing the very thing that I'd always promised myself I wouldn't do.

I couldn't believe I would see him soon, or _all_ of them in fact. I'd been travelling for so long that I couldn't fathom the end of the journey but in reality there was only just over a fortnight until we reached Aomori. After that it could only be a few days before we found a boat to take us to Ezo and then I would be with them again. With each passing day I missed them more and more, and even though Hanami had promised their safety I was still worried about them. All I wanted was to just return to the normal days where we all lived together, where Okita and Heisuke would fight and they would go out on patrol, and where Hijikata would stalk around Headquarters scolding everyone. The thought brought a smile to my lips.

All of a sudden Kazama placed his bowl down on the tray, not a single grain of rice left uneaten. 'About last night, Chizuru…' He started, trailing off to attract my attention.

As soon as he spoke I went rigid, equal parts surprised and unsurprised that he would bring it up so soon.

When he saw that I was undistracted he continued. 'I am aware that when you are embarrassed you tend to avoid me but I don't want you to do that this time.' He said simply yet quietly as if the others were listening.

I swallowed my last mouthful of rice with difficulty, placing my chopsticks down. 'I… I won't.' Was all I could say.

Of course I hadn't planned to _deliberately_ ignore him but he did have a point. Whenever I was embarrassed or flustered I had the habit of distancing myself from whatever had caused my discomfort, and in this case it was Kazama.

Once I'd agreed, Kazama leaned back on his futon. 'Good.' He sighed, looking at me through half-lidded eyes for a few seconds, and then he took in a deep breath. 'We should get ready. Do you still have your spare clothes in your bag?' He asked, referring to my Western attire.

I nodded, noticing Amagiri had brought my saddlebag in here and placed it by my side. Inside it was the spare pants, shirt and tunic that Kazama had gotten for me last time my clothes got ruined. The bag also contained my dark blue yukata and the rolls of spider thread that Yui had given me, the latter of which I was yet to use. I probably wouldn't have time for sewing until I reached Kyoto again.

Kazama got to his feet, interrupting my pointless musings. 'We shall travel to the river before changing so we can bathe first. Afterwards we will resume our journey.' He announced, holding out his hand to help me off the floor.

Blushing, I reached up to take his hand and he helped me from my sitting position, however, instead of releasing me he wrapped his arms around me.

I tensed in shock at first, but it didn't take me long to sink into his bare chest. He was so warm, so soothing, and I closed my eyes despite not knowing why he'd embraced me in the first place. I didn't ask for an explanation and he didn't give one, not even as his slender fingers began to make their way through my knotted silver locks.

But after a short amount of time he finally spoke, pressing his lips to my hair. 'I am in debt once again to you, Chizuru, for saving my life last night.' He murmured against my hair before allowing me to lift my eyes to his.

I was exasperated with myself as I felt the heat of tears began to enter my eyes but I didn't let them spill. Even though I'd saved him it had been my fault in the first place but I'd promised him last night that I wouldn't continue to dwell on it. Kazama was here, alive and well, and I would never forget just how lost I'd been when faced with his demise.

Offering him a small smile, I leaned into his touch. 'It's ok, Kazama-san.' I said as he peered down at my lips.

I blushed as he traced the smile with his thumb before it vanished, and then his eyes came back up to rest on my face. 'It would appear as if you've saved my life more times than I've saved yours. I would be impressed if my pride wasn't so injured.' He said, his lips twitching into a half smile.

I smiled too as he released me, taking a step back. I hadn't exactly kept a tally of who had saved who and how many times but he may have been right, not that it mattered anyway. I would save his life a thousand times more if I needed to and I knew he'd do the same for me.

Pushing my dirty hair from my eyes, I couldn't deny I was overjoyed to see the beginnings of his classic smirk. 'Well I'm sure it won't be the last time I'll have to save your life.' I said, half-serious.

Thankfully he responded well to my light-hearted jab and bent down to pick his clothes up off the floor. 'I don't doubt that, Chizuru.' He chuckled, making my heart skip with a flash of a smirk, and then he continued. 'I'll meet you out in the hallway. I'm going to talk to Amagiri so I'll see you when you're ready.' He said.

I nodded, glad to have some time to tidy myself up but at the same time disappointed to have him leave my side. 'Ok, Kazama-san. I'll be out soon.' I promised.

And then he inclined his head and disappeared, leaving me to myself.

* * *

It was late afternoon by the time we stopped for our classic afternoon break.

Never had I thought I'd be glad to return to travel. Even though we'd spent countless hours riding on the back of a horse I couldn't help but feel relieved as it meant we were back at the same routine and yet another few steps closer to our final destination. It also meant that Kazama was truly back to full health, and he'd gone to the river to fill up our flasks as he always did. It was something he'd done almost right from the start of the journey but I appreciated it more than usual today.

This morning I'd cleaned off a whole day's worth of grime and blood from my body. It had taken me a whole half hour to get myself fully clean and remove the dirt from my skin, which had seemed to fuse into my flesh. I'd made sure my wounds had healed properly and had been relieved to see they all had except the wound on my neck, so I'd rebandaged it and hid the sight of the dressings by buttoning up my collar all the way.

I'd never seen an injury like it. In all the years of treating patients with my father I'd never seen a wound that continued to bleed after so long, that was so swollen and bruised despite the tiny puncture marks. It throbbed intermittently with pain one minute and left me light-headed the next but by far the worst side effect was its grasp on my mind. I felt like I was possessed by the man that bit me.

Grimacing, I looked up from my almost finished lunch.

Shiranui was sitting at the base of a tree polishing his gun. He'd taken a few hours to return to his chirpy, lax self as he'd been silent for most of the day which had surprised me. I deigned to think it was because of yesterday because although he hadn't been there in the village to see the incident, he knew perfectly well just how injured Kazama and I had been and it had probably resonated with him that either of us could have died. That was interesting in itself, as I'd often wondered just how much Shiranui cared for Kazama, or I in fact.

Just as the thought crossed my mind, Amagiri stepped away from Yoru and began to make his way in my direction. I didn't need to ask to know that he had been shaken by yesterday's close call with Kazama. They were related by marriage, after all, as I'd learned in Yamamura that Kazama's sister and Amagiri's brother were bound in matrimony and had borne a child as consequence. I'd always known there was a reason for the way Kazama treated him with more respect than anyone else I'd seen him come into contact with.

Amagiri smiled as he came to sit beside me, resting his back against the trunk of the tree. 'How are you doing, Chizuru-sama?' He asked in a tone quiet enough to let me know he was asking about my wound.

Once I'd checked briefly to make sure Kazama wasn't around I let out a heavy sigh. 'I'm fine, I guess. I just can't wait until it heals.' I admitted, trying not to think of the burning in my neck as I spoke about it. It seemed that the more I tried not to let it get to me it grew a thousand times worse.

Amagiri looked at me regretfully before sighing too. 'Normal oni bites are not like this, Chizuru-sama. It is only because he was a rasetsu that the wound has festered in this way. I can't give you an exact estimate of how long the bite will remain on your skin but it could be anywhere up to 7 days as it is for normal oni bites.' He warned me ruefully.

I'd already known that but I hoped it wasn't true.

Nodding defeatedly, I subconsciously raised my hand to press against my neck. 'Please don't tell him about this, Amagiri-san. I don't think he'd react very well.' I murmured. I knew Kazama would be livid if he ever found out Amagiri kept it from him but he'd be even more livid at that fact it had actually happened. I had no doubt that if the rasetsu was still alive then Kazama would march straight back to the village and track him down, not stopping until he'd been found and slain. Kazama could be terrifying when he was vengeful and he was _particularly_ vengeful when harm was done to me.

Thankfully Amagiri nodded, reassuring me with a soft smile. 'I don't think it's wise to allow Kazama-sama to be privy to such a thing, at least not for a while. It's best for you to tell him in your own time if that's something you wish to do.' He said, putting me at ease with his agreement. There would have been nothing worse than Amagiri telling me Kazama deserved to know. I did feel guilty about keeping it a secret but I didn't have much choice if I wanted Kazama to remain somewhat sane for the next few days. Just imagining his hypothetical rage caused a shiver to run down my spine.

Suddenly I heard footsteps to my right.

As Amagiri and I turned to see who was entering the clearing, my heart skipped a beat as I saw Kazama. In his hands were our flasks and when our eyes met I felt like I was going to melt. I didn't understand how he could make me feel like this, like every cell of my body had lit up like a candle, and I realised he'd been looking at me differently since this morning. There was something in his eyes I couldn't quite put a finger on but whatever it was it made me feel light-headed.

Before the silence could become awkward he addressed me mildly. 'Chizuru.' He said.

I looked up at him meekly and instantly grew nervous. 'Uh… yeah?' I answered, trying to at least conceal how I couldn't stop thinking about last night. The reason why I was constantly blushing must have been as clear as day and the thought only made me blush darker.

Kazama appeared in front of me then, handing me my water flask. 'If you feel as if you are up to it then there is time for a short oni lesson before we leave.' He invited, watching me carefully as if trying to detect my answer before I voiced it.

As soon as he made the suggestion I couldn't stop a smile from gracing my face. Although I was anxious to be alone with him I knew there would be nothing better than an oni lesson to help distract me from the tumultuous range of feelings inside me. With each new ability or skill I grew more confident with myself and more aware of what it meant to be an oni, and I was pretty sure Kazama enjoyed teaching me as well.

I immediately raised myself from the ground, brushing the dirt off my pants. 'Ok. What are we going to do?' I asked innocently as he waited patiently for me to prepare myself.

Shiranui and Amagiri watched us both absentmindedly, and I begged for my mind not to dwell on whether or not they knew what Kazama and I had done. The more I thought about that possibility the harder it was for me to stay sane around them all.

Kazama was already ignoring them when he answered. 'Since you have practiced falling a few days ago I believe it would be beneficial to begin jumping. Now come. I have found an appropriate place already.' He claimed, gesturing for me to follow him.

I did as he said without complaint, sending Shiranui and Amagiri a gentle smile as I followed Kazama into the thicket.

It was unusual to be alone with him. I couldn't work out whether I was excited or nervous, although I was leaning more towards the latter, and I also couldn't stop myself from wondering if he'd ever try to kiss me again. Would it be today? Tomorrow? At the end of the journey? Maybe it wouldn't happen at all. But I knew that I wanted him to.

Blushing at my own wayward thoughts, I walked wordlessly by Kazama's side as he brought us deeper into the forest. As usual his posture was perfect, his strides even, and the way he moved so gracefully entranced me. When I thought about it seriously it really wasn't a surprise that I'd ended up falling in love with him even in such a short time frame, not just because his appearance but everything else about him. He was so much like Hijikata in so many ways; his begrudging personally, tendency to act stoic, and his dedication to honour and valour… and yet he was also so different. Different in a good way.

Biting my lip hard enough to hurt, I inwardly punished myself for dwelling on this now. Our kiss had frazzled my brain and the last thing I needed before an oni lesson was to allow myself to fester over it.

Almost as if he knew I was thinking about him he turned around to face me. 'We are here.' He announced, gesturing to the large trees surrounding us.

As I blushed and hurriedly looked away from him, I could see that he'd brought us to a secluded area covered with dense yet straight trees. Their branches were very much like the ones I'd learned to jump from; straight and thick, perfect for standing on. The ground was covered with tufts of emerald grass and smelt kind of humid from the heat of the summer sun which had begun to grow fiercer with every passing day. It was a beautiful place for an oni lesson.

Kazama's voice brought me back to reality. 'Jumping is more difficult than falling as you need to control the amount of strength you use to go where you want. The height you can jump to is determined by how much power you have but for today we will only practice with the lower few branches until you feel more confident. The first thing you need to do is bring your oni power into your legs, Chizuru.' He instructed, watching me carefully as I morphed between excited and fearful.

Nothing had changed since the last time I'd done this; I was still deathly afraid of heights. But having Kazama by my side reassured me that he wouldn't let me hurt myself and that I'd be ok no matter what happened. Not only would he not permit me to get injured but I was confident in my own abilities anyway and I knew that if he believed I was ready for this then that meant I was.

Taking his last sentence as an order, I closed my eyes and attempted to summon my power.

It made itself immediately available, throbbing gold in the shadows of my mind. I hoped that using my power today wouldn't produce any unfortunate side effects since I used so much of it yesterday but I was just thankful I didn't feel too exhausted. When I'd used my energy to heal my shoulder wound after being shot with an arrow the ordeal rendered me unconscious and I'd used a _lot_ less power than last night.

Sighing gently, I pulled the power out into my blood and lead it down into my thighs. Every patch of muscle it went through fizzed and burned with energy, bringing extra life to my body, and when it finally found its place in my legs I allowed myself to open my eyes.

Kazama was already looking at me. His cerise irises seemed to be sizzling with even more heat than usual and I probably already knew why. I could have guessed what he was thinking about and I couldn't help but be reminded of it too, and as images of last night began to flash through my mind one after the other and I begged for him to hurry up and start talking before I lost my mind.

Eventually breaking our eye contact to look up at the tree beside us, he gestured to the second highest branch. 'This will be your target height. You may need a few tries to reach it as you experiment with how much power is needed but given your track record of learning things quickly, Chizuru, you should adjust in no time.' He noted, reaching out to touch my chin lightly with his fingertips to give more emphasis to his compliment.

As soon as he touched me my legs grew so weak I feared I'd lose hold of my power. He had always had influence over me but this was something I'd never felt, a type of surrender to his touch that I was feeling for the first time. Even when he pulled his hand away, his eyes swamped with an emotion I still couldn't name, my body buzzed with ecstasy.

After he'd finished examining my dazed expression he continued. 'As usual I will demonstrate first.' He said.

I nodded, my trance broken, and Kazama looked away from me and up at the tree branch.

As much as I loved to learn things myself I also enjoyed seeing Kazama use his own powers. It was testament to what I could do once I'd had more practice and the thought that one day I could do all this with as much ease excited me. I wasn't sure how long it would take to master my powers but I was prepared to do anything to ensure I was at that level someday, and if I really was as fast a learner as what Kazama said then hopefully it would be soon.

Suddenly, Kazama leapt off the ground.

I watched with admiration as he ascended a few metres in the air and landed gracefully on the branch he'd indicated to just moments ago, his feet settling on the bark. He didn't sway or stumble, not like I knew I was going to do, and once he was secured he spun around to look down at me.

Cocking his head to one side, he offered a small smirk. 'Now it's your turn. Try and jump up beside me, and I will catch you if you stumble.' He promised.

Trying my best to ignore his smirk, I let out a deep breath.

I was determined to do this despite my fear of heights. I kept my power firmly clenched in my legs, refusing to let it wane even as my fear increased, and I peered up at the branch I had to jump onto. It was about the same height as the branch I practiced falling off a few days ago so I told myself this wouldn't be as hard as I was anticipating.

Sighing one last time, I grit my teeth and bent my knees in preparation to jump.

As I leapt into the air, half expecting only to jump half a metre like a usually would, I was greeted instead with the rush of air against my face. My heart jumped into my mouth as the ground fell away from me and my surroundings grew blurry with my speed and so shocked was I that I only realised until it was too late that I hadn't prepared myself to land.

Shrieking as my feet twisted as I landed on the branch, I was just about to fall off it again when a strong arm wrapped around my torso.

When Kazama straightened me I couldn't resist grabbing onto his clothing. I was so proud but so terrified at the same time, my heart beating hard enough that I could hear it in my ears, and there was no way it was going to stop pounding anytime soon. Kazama was the only thing keeping me secured on the branch and so I wasn't ashamed to hold him as tight as I was and I didn't let go even after a few more seconds had passed.

Kazama chuckled when he realised I wouldn't release him. 'I told you I would catch you.' He reminded me, peering down at my face with satisfaction.

I went bright red but couldn't bring myself to pull away, forcing me to suffer through his pleasure. 'You were hoping this would happen.' I accused, turning my face away to look out into the other trees.

Giving a nonchalant shrug, he pulled me tighter to his side. 'And you weren't?' He questioned smugly, making me think about how close we'd been last night, but he changed the subject before I could respond. 'Despite the stumble at the end you did quite well; just make sure you pay attention to how much power you use to jump to different heights. Do you want to try again?' He prompted, raising an eyebrow at my lingering blush.

I nodded, resisting the urge to pout at his smugness, and he flashed me one last smirk before he gave the next instruction. 'Let's jump down together and afterwards we will try for a higher branch.' He said.

His instruction filled me with anxiety once again. Not only was he going to make me fall but the next branch I jumped to would be even higher. I knew I could do it but that didn't make it any less terrifying and if I had have been more able to push my fear of heights aside then I would have realised that Kazama was already preparing himself to fall.

Sensing my nerves, Kazama took my hand in his. 'When I step off, you do the same.' He said before he repositioned me to face the drop.

I let him move me so we were standing side to side. He had my hand firmly clasped in his and his eyes trained on my face, analysing my expression to detect how I was feeling. Given that I wasn't trying to hide my fear it was likely he already knew how I felt but when he gave my hand a soft squeeze I was reminded that I would be fine with him here.

And so, when he stepped off the edge I followed him without resistance.

Sucking in a sharp breath as gravity took a hold of me, I kept a firm grip on the power in my legs. I reminded myself over and over to bend my knees once I hit the ground lest I fall like I did a few days ago, but the longer I fell for the more I become aware of how I loved the thrill. It was a mix of accomplishment and adrenaline that I'd come to enjoy and half the time I was too scared to realise I liked it. It was only after it was over that I could reflect on how I adored doing these things even though they were outside my comfort zone.

As soon as my feet connected with the dirt I bent my knees, my power automatically absorbing the shock of the impact. It remained so bizarre that I could fall from such a height and not feel a thing, especially because if a human fell from such a height they were sure to break their legs.

Kazama raised from his crouches at the same time as I, his hand still clamp around my own. 'This time aim for that branch.' He directed, pointing at one a few metres higher. 'Once again I'll catch you if you fall but this time focus on where your feet are going.' He jabbed good-naturedly, a brief smirk crossing his face before he turned around to complete the jump himself.

I only had enough time to frown at him before he'd soared effortlessly into the air, landing lightly on the branch above.

Wiping my sweaty palms on my pants, I prepared myself to follow suite. Even though he'd technically made fun of me for not watching my feet when I landed last time I was aware he was right. I needed to pay more attention to that this time or I'd definitely fall off again.

Ignoring his smug look of anticipation, I inhaled sharply before jumping up to join him.

Instantly the same fear as before seized me as the ground fell away, however this time I tried to push it away and concentrate on landing safely on the branch. My fear ebbed slightly as I saw Kazama already reaching out for me and as my feet connected with the bark Kazama pulled me close to him to prevent me from swaying.

Almost innately I dig my fingers into his shirt, refusing to look down at the drop below.

Kazama chuckled at my panic but he comforted me nonetheless. 'There will come a time where heights no longer bother you, Chizuru. In the future we shall practice ascent and descent from much larger heights so you can become familiar with the limits of your power. But for now I am satisfied.' He noted, pressing a warm hand to the back of my head as I looked up at him.

Immediately my face almost burst into blame but I forced out a reply. 'Well… this time was better than last time. I wasn't as scared as I was at our last oni lesson.' I mumbled, talking just so I didn't have to look up at him in silence. I was disappointed in myself for how much last night had given him a hold over me.

Kazama chuckled again, his fingers coming around to run down my jaw. 'And soon you will not be scared at all. Now come. We should continue the journey as we have lost enough time already.' He encouraged, jerking his head in the direction of the ground.

I was kind of disheartened that we would be going back to the others so soon. I wanted to spend just some more time with him alone and I was unfortunately disenchanted that he hadn't tried to kiss me again, even though I still wasn't sure if it was a good idea to encourage it or not. This was not only making my feelings for Hijikata more complicated but my whole situation and I had no idea what would occur once the journey came to an end.

On that sober note, I nodded and allowed Kazama to take my hand. 'Jump with me.' He instructed, helping me to face the drop with him, and I did as he said as butterflies flitted in my stomach for more reasons that just the height.

As he stepped off the branch I followed him, becoming once again swept up in the thrill of the descent, before I landed safely on the ground with bent knees. Kazama landed softly beside me and brought me up with him when he stood but he didn't let go of my hand, not even when he'd made sure I was stabilised.

With a proud twitch of his lips he began to lead me back the way we came, initiating conversation along the way. 'I think soon we will start on some more complicated oni powers. We will be pressed for time given how there's only 2 weeks left of this journey but if we practice each day then you should be able to learn the basics.' He predicted.

As soon as he'd finished speaking I was filled with growing excitement. I knew that when he mentioned 'more complicated oni powers' he meant forcefield and, of course, speed. All I wanted to do was learn everything else so I could learn how to use the latter. I still couldn't believe I was capable of it and even though I'd seen Kazama use his so many times it still blew my mind. I'd gladly practice every day without cessation if that's what it would take.

Practically skipping along beside him, I was able to endure his eye contact for long enough to ask a question. 'So what's the next thing we will practice? Is it forcefields?' I asked raking my brain for any other oni powers I was yet to learn, excluding speed. I hadn't practiced all the facets of my already learned powers yet but definitely enough to progress further in other abilities.

Kazama nodded, amused at my sudden enthusiasm. 'Indeed. We shall cover how to summon both restrained and unrestrained forcefields but it takes a long time to master them. Afterwards I will teach you how to use your oni speed.' He revealed, drinking in the delight in my eyes as I gazed up at him.

I was so excited. To think that in less than a fortnight I would finally be able to learn the very power I found most fascinating. I was expecting it to be more difficult than anything I'd tried so far but I was prepared to try twice as hard as I had for any other power no matter how long it took.

I could barely contain myself.

Smiling pleasantly at the thought, I was too absorbed in my elation to notice we were still holding hands. 'So what's a restrained and unrestrained forcefield?' I asked, realising I'd heard Kazama mention those terms before and yet he hadn't explained what they meant.

Picking a leaf idly off a tree as we passed, he inspected it as we walked. 'Well, the simplest way to put it is give you examples. The forcefield I used to change your into your oni form when I met you in Ikedaya was an unrestrained forcefield. In other words, it had no set shape and wasn't designed to protect or block anything. Those forcefields are just manifestations of energy.' He explained, letting the leaf fall to the ground. 'Restrained forcefields on the other hand are mostly defensive and can be moulded into different shapes. When we first arrived at the Southern Gate of Yamamura it was restrained forcefields that allowed us to pass under the waterfall. Also, this was the type of forcefield I used to protect us against the bullets in the village, although it was ineffective.' He finished.

I winced as he brought it up, asking something else before I had time to dwell on my lingering guilt. 'Oh. So what's the purpose of an unrestrained forcefield if it can't protect you?' I asked curiously, watching as he plucked yet another leaf off a tree as we passed.

Kazama twirled it absentmindedly in his fingertips before looking down at me. 'Generally unrestrained forcefields are just our bodies' reactions to extreme stress or trauma, hence why you accidentally summoned one when you were shot with an arrow. However, they can also be used to share small amounts of energy with other onis. This is how I changed you in Ikedaya, Chizuru. It was not your own energy that instigated the transformation; it was mine.' He said.

I stared out at the forest, letting the information sink in. I remembered how confused I'd been that night when I'd seen myself turn into something else, something I'd been scared of. I'd always wondered how he'd managed to do that and I was relieved now that I knew, even though it would have been to have understood the phenomenon when it had happened. I'd had no idea what I'd been and why I'd changed forms and it had become even more confusing when he'd done it a second time after coming to the Shinsengumi Headquarters to kidnap me.

Acknowledging his explanation with a nod, I asked another question. 'Does that mean I can technically change you too with my own forcefield? Like what you did to me?' I clarified, finding the thought interesting.

Kazama nodded, turning to look in front of us as we emerged into the small clearing. 'It does. And I'll teach you how to do it, if you wish.' He offered, raising my hand to kiss it just as the others turned to look at us.

I went red as Amagiri and Shiranui watched Kazama's display of affection, pulling my hand away quickly as our conversation came to an end. Unfortunately judging by the smug, all-knowing expression on Shiranui's face he either knew for sure there was something going on between us or he suspected it. I could also see in Amagiri's eyes that he was amused by my embarrassment and I hoped he too didn't know what had happened last night.

Too flustered to think about it anymore, I averted my eyes just as Kazama addressed us all. 'Let's go. We have a large distance to cover before nightfall.' He stated, gesturing for me to follow him over to Yuki.

Shiranui and Amagiri shifted from their positions, Shiranui with a disappointed sigh, and moved to their own horses.

Placing my water flask in my saddlebag, I stroked Yuki's mane softly as Kazama rummaged through his own bag which was still laying on the grass. I couldn't help but think about how there was only 2 weeks left of the journey, only 2 more weeks and then I wasn't sure what would happen. It may be a few on top of that before we found a boat to Ezo and who knew how long until I was reunited with the Shinsengumi.

And there was potentially only 2 more weeks of being with Kazama. After that he was leaving for his village and it would be probably months before I saw him again, a possibility which left me highly conflicted. I didn't _want_ to be separated from him especially if I wasn't going to see him for long time afterwards as I enjoyed his company. Plus, I would miss him…

Suddenly Kazama snapped me out of my daze by appearing by my side. 'Did you hear me, Chizuru?' He asked, raising an eyebrow as I jumped at the sound of his voice.

Blushing, I was forced to bite my lip guiltily. 'Uh… no.' I murmured, fearing retribution but he only sighed instead. 'I asked if you would like to try riding since it has been a while since you last took the reins, so to speak.' He said, cocking his head to one side as he awaited my answer.

Without hesitation I nodded my head, pleased that he was letting me ride even though apparently we were in a hurry. 'Ok.' I said simply, lifting my eyes to meet his.

When he stared back into mine I felt like I could float away into the clouds but I was pretty quickly centered when he placed his hands on my shoulders. 'Very well. I will help you up.' He offered, taking his hands off my shoulders.

However, just as he did so I felt something warm and wet seeping through my collar.

 _No..._

My whole body went into panic mode as I realised my wound had started to bleed through the bandage. I'd forgotten to treat and rebandage the wound during lunch and due to its inability to heal it had continued to weep through the cloth. Automatically my hand raised to my neck as quick as lightning, so quickly that I swear Kazama flinched, but his shocked reaction was soon replaced by a frown.

After a brief pause Kazama went to reach for me. 'Are you… _bleeding_?' He asked incredulously, making a move to pry my hands off my neck.

With my spare hand I savagely pushed his arm away, sending him an unintentional warning glare. 'I'm fine. I just… I'll be back.' I said, keeping my hand on my neck as I went to unhook my saddlebag from Yuki and run into the forest to clean up the blood.

Recoiling from my strong reaction, Kazama's frown deepened but he wasn't letting me go anywhere. With one hard yank he pulled my hand off my collar and kept his own on my shoulders so I couldn't flee, his eyes widening as he saw I was indeed bleeding. He appeared mostly confused at this stage but it was only a matter of time before his confusion morphed into full on rage.

Before he could speak again I looked at Amagiri, silently begging him to help me out of this situation but even he knew there was nothing he could do now.

Rattled beyond all belief, I could only squirm as his iron grip kept me in place. 'Kazama-san! Let me go!' I warned, letting him know I was serious, but Kazama cared naught for my plea.

Narrowing his eyes and looking into my own, I could see his soft side waning. 'Why are you injured?' He asked tightly, his eyes raising once again to drill into my mine. I could tell he was a mix of worried and perplexed, as it wasn't like me to keep something like this from him. What made it worse was that I'd told him this morning that the made-up wound had already healed so I could no longer use that excuse.

Before I could provide a justification he'd already undone the top 3 buttons on my shirt, tugging it open so he had full view off the blood-soaked bandage around my throat.

Reacting out of shock, I pressed my hand to his chest to try to push him away. 'It's nothing! Just let me go! Please.' I begged, my eyes growing wider as his did.

I was becoming more aware by the second that it was impossible to keep this a secret. I could see the wide eyes of Shiranui and Amagiri watching this unfold, both aware of how Kazama was going to react, but I knew he wouldn't be angry at me or even Shiranui or Amagiri because it wasn't any of our faults. If anything he was more likely to be angry at himself for letting it happen even though it wasn't his doing but no matter where his anger was directed I was aware it would be fierce. Only on a few occasions had I seen Kazama's anger become pure rage but I felt like this would be one of those times. And I didn't want to see him like that.

Kazama paused only to watch the tears form in my eyes before he tore the bandage straight from my throat.

As the bandage fluttered to the ground Kazama's eyes became locked on the wound. I knew exactly what it looked like; puffy, mottled with black and purple bruises, weeping blood and fluid as if I'd only been bitten a minute ago. I hated looking at it because it reminded me of what had been done to me but having Kazama look at it was worse by far. With each passing second his eyes grew wider, becoming closer to gold than red, but I still wasn't sure if he truly understood what had caused it.

Kazama's eyes remained fixated on my wound, his pupils growing smaller until they were almost specks. 'What… what is this?' He repeated, quieter this time.

The tears continued to burn in my eyes as I saw the horror in his, tripling my shame. 'It doesn't matter. Really, I'm fine.' I whimpered, not answering his question as I attempted once again to free myself from him. Kazama's fingers automatically tightened on my shoulders and I could see the horror in his eyes as he couldn't tear them away from my throat. He didn't even respond immediately to my latest reply.

It was only after a long awkward pause that he repeated his question. 'What is this, Chizuru?' He asked again, his voice now the beginnings of a growl.

My lip trembled as I fought back tears and my own memories, praying that I would somehow be able to escape this situation. Kazama's eyes continued to bore into me with growing intensity and not even Amagiri or Shiranui would intervene on my behalf. Everyone was silent but I knew I couldn't be for much longer.

I hung my head, my tears finally falling onto the dirt between us. 'Please don't get angry, Kazama-san.' I implored, anticipating his wrath when he eventually forced me to tell the truth.

Kazama ignored my comment as white strands of hair began to appear amongst the gold. 'Who did this to you? Tell me what they did.' He suddenly growled, making me jump at his sudden change of temperament.

All at once the emotions from being bitten flooded me with fear and humiliation to the point where I thought I was going to collapse. I didn't want to talk about this, not to him, and I didn't want to have to explain what had happened to me. I would have rathered go through the whole thing again than have to tell Kazama something that filled me with so much inexplicable shame.

Despaired, I could no longer hold in my sobs. 'I got… bitten.' Was all I could say as I covered my face with one of my hands.

It was then that his eyes travelled back down to my wound, understanding beginning to surface on his face. It felt like forever before he began to piece together why he could see puncture marks and swelling and bruises in the shape of a strong bite, his lips parting in shock and his hands falling limply from my shoulders.

Wiping away the tears as they streamed from my eyes, I couldn't stand just watching him stare at me. It was unbearable.

Then before I could react, there was a loud crack as Kazama threw his flask against a tree.

I gasped as it splintered into a thousand pieces, leaving a large dent in the bark. Water sprayed all over the trunk and up the bark and even over Kazama and I but he seemed not to care as his followed through with his fist as well with a punch hard enough to shatter a human's fist.

'Fuck!' He hollered as he retracted his fist for long enough to hit the tree again.

I'd never seen Kazama so physically aggressive before. I cowered away from him a bit as he continued his slur of curse words, turning around only to kick his saddlebag which was laying on the grass waiting to be attached to Yuki. It landed metres away and spilled out all its contents all over the ground, revealing his journal and food in addition to the sketchbook and pencils he'd received on my birthday.

If his behaviour wasn't enough to determine whether or not he was angry, his molten gold eyes were a good indication.

Running his fingers through his hair as it washed white, he turned to me abruptly. 'Where is he?' He snapped, claws forming on his hands as if he was getting ready to tear someone's throat out.

I could barely see due to my tears anyway but even so it was impossible to look at his face. 'He's… he's dead. Amagiri-san killed him…' I started to say, before I was cut off by yet another one of Kazama's punches against the tree.

'Fuck!' He shouted again, pulling his fist away as the wood cracked under his strength.

The crack travelled up the trunk for half a metre before stopping and he'd already raised his arm to hit it again when I interrupted. 'Kazama-san, stop! Please.' I pleaded meekly as his horns sprouted from his head and his fangs emerged.

I knew if I didn't stop him now then he wouldn't cease until the whole forest had been reduced to mere splinters. The bottom of his cape had begun to float and the wind had picked up and although I was curious to see how much power he had I knew that if he lost control he'd destroy everything. I'd never seen him so incensed before, not to the point where he'd lost control of his human form, with the exception of when he'd fought Hijikata ages ago. That had been the first time I'd seen his full oni form.

But this… this was even more terrifying.

Kazama stopped his fist short of the tree once he'd heard my voice but I could see it had taken every spark of his self-control. 'If I'd been conscious… if I'd seen….' He growled like a madman, running his hand through his hair again as he wallowed in whatever violent fantasy that was playing inside his head. I had no doubt that he would have tortured the rasetsu to death or worse if he'd witnessed it, especially due to the way the man had taunted and tortured me in return. That would have been the only thing on the planet that would have made him angrier than he was now.

Suddenly he spun around to face me, his eyes so bright they blinded me. 'Did he… did he drink from you?' He demanded hoarsely, feeding his own virulent disgust by requesting such information, but it was only because some part of it maybe didn't believe it yet. Maybe he didn't want to believe it.

Wiping away my tears as they continued to fall, I refused to answer that question.

He saw the hesitant look in my eyes and grasped my shoulders, shaking me a little. 'Chizuru, did he drink from you?' He asked again but louder, gritting his teeth as if to scare me into admittance.

Scared and upset, I could barely speak through my sobs. 'I d-don't want to tell you, Kazama-san.' I spluttered, covering my face to hide my shame, but by not answering I'd confirmed it anyway.

Kazama recoiled in horror before his face twisted in abhorrence, reminding me of the early days when I'd had nightmares about him coming to kidnap me. I thought I'd never see him in that light again but here he was in front of me, hissing in breath through his teeth as if he was seconds off flipping out permanently. I knew none of his anger was directed at me but that didn't mean it wasn't petrifying as I didn't know what he'd do, especially if he found out even more details. It didn't help either that every time he turned to see me crying his rage increased tenfold.

When I looked past him at Amagiri and Shiranui they had already moved a few more metres away. Amagiri appeared to be teetering on the edge of silence and an attempted intervention but he must have known that there was little he could do to calm him down after such news anyway. Shiranui on the other hand was blank-faced and stoic, immobile yet alert like he would flee at the slightest hint of danger.

Suddenly Kazama slouched against the tree front-on, facing away from us all. He appeared to be trying to get himself together again but I couldn't predict how long that would take, but after several minutes his breathing steadied and his hair faded back to blonde and one by one all his other oni features retreated too. I took that opportunity to clear the tears from my face and gather my own wits but as my adrenaline faded from my blood I felt my legs begin to tremble.

Then all of a sudden Kazama turned around, but he didn't face me. 'Go, both of you. I need to talk to her alone.' He deadpanned, his voice rather emotionless despite the strong emotions he'd displayed just before.

Immediately I went rigid, fearing that he would grill for me more information in their absence, and it was then that Amagiri looked at me. It had been quite some time since he'd given me that look, the look he gave me when requesting permission to leave, and as I stared into his eyes I kind of wanted him to stay. It wasn't that I was scared of Kazama but I just didn't want him to interrogate me about what I'd gone through as I didn't want to relive it. In addition, I didn't want to make him angry again.

But after a few awkward seconds I conceded, giving a brief yet subtle nod which let him know he could go.

Once Amagiri and Shiranui had disappeared it took Kazama a full minute before he could turn around to face me. All his anger seemed to have drained to be replaced with something hollow and brooding and possibly even guilty which was the last thing I wanted him to feel.

However, he didn't leave me in silence forever.

'Chizuru.' He said.

At first I didn't know how to react. All I could do was stand there awkwardly with shaky legs and big, cautious eyes still red with tears.

Kazama noticed this as well because he let out a sigh, albeit one that was still quite tense. 'I… I didn't mean to scare you.' He mumbled, his version of an apology.

Swallowing, it was his request for clemency that nudged me back into reality. 'It's… it's ok.' I replied back uncertainly, fiddling with the hem of my tunic as he continued to look at my face for clues to how I was feeling.

After another brief moment of discomfort he came closer to me, wincing as I involuntarily cringed at his approach. 'Chizuru…' He sighed, resting his hands on my shoulders. At his touch I instantly calmed down, allowing the rigidity to drain from my muscles and the shakiness to ebb from my limbs. As I looked up at his face I saw true remorse for having acted in such a way even if I could still see some sparks of retained revulsion and my forehead smoothed at knowing he'd regained the majority of his composure.

Kazama swallowed, visibly struggling not to look down at my wound. 'Chizuru, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you.' He murmured, his fingers ghosting along the sides of my face as if I was made of glass. 'You know I would have done everything in my power to defend you if I had have been capable of doing so. I shouldn't have taken you with me.' He said gently.

My lip trembled at his apology. I did indeed know he would have done everything in his power to protect me. It wasn't his fault and I didn't want him to blame himself or hold onto his regrets.

I raised my hand to press against one of his, leaning into his touch. 'I know, Kazama-san. It's ok.' I assured him, closing my eyes just in case I spilled more unwanted tears.

At my acceptance of his apology Kazama softened as well, tilting my head up to look into his eyes. 'Come, Chizuru. I will treat your wound.' He said, slipping his fingers from my hair.

Instantly I went to contend, instinctively covering the wound with my palm. 'You… you don't need to do that.' I objected, thinking it would make him angry to focus on it for too long, but he shook his head to dismiss me. 'I will do it. Now sit down.' He instructed, adopting his authoritative tone which told me he wouldn't take no for an answer.

Surrendering to his stern gaze I sat down on the grass, watching passively as he went through my saddlebag to find the spare medical supplies. He pulled out a roll of bandage and some disinfectant in addition to some pins to hold the dressings in place and once he had everything he sat down in front of me.

I didn't shift as he unwrapped the bandage and prepared the disinfectant, all with a straight face, which was far from the expressions he'd exhibited earlier. But no matter how composed he appeared I was aware he still possessed that rage, just barely buried beneath the surface, and so I didn't protest when he finally made a move to reach for my neck.

The disinfectant stung when it made contact with my raw flesh. He cleaned the wound with a swab of cloth, making sure he was gentle yet thorough, and shifted his gaze continuously to my face to make sure he wasn't hurting me too much. When our eyes met briefly I felt the heat swell under my skin, flashes of his lips on mine coming into my head, but I reminded myself that now was not the time to dwell on such things no matter how close he got or how hard it was to stop.

Thankfully he didn't let us wallow in quietude for much longer.

Folding up the swab once he'd finished, he began to prepare the dressing. 'Don't hide something like this from me again.' He said, keeping his eyes on my wound which communicated he was perhaps hurt. Surely he understood why I'd done so, given his reaction, but I'd known all along anyway that my secrecy would have displeased him.

Lowering my head, I offered my own apology. 'I'm sorry.' I said, leaving out the part I wanted to add about how I'd thought it was the right thing to do. Now was not the time to get into an argument.

Kazama acknowledged my apology with a nod as he began to wrap the bandage around my neck. 'Did Amagiri tell you what it means to bite another?' He asked, still refusing to look at me as if he couldn't bear to. I could see he kind of hoped I didn't know because the less I knew what was done to me the better, potentially.

However, I had to nod. 'Yui-san told me about it in Yamamura. I know what it means.' I replied, somewhat regretfully.

Kazama pinned the bandage in place and pulled his fingers away, resting his forearms on his thighs. 'There are few things as vile as biting another oni without their consent. If he had have been a true oni then he would have been exiled from his clan as punishment. It just goes to show how akin to animals those bastards are.' He mumbled, wrapping up the rest of the bandage and assembling the medical supplies.

I swallowed, buttoning my shirt up again to hide the bandage. I could see why it was treated so seriously because I wouldn't wish such an experience on my worst enemy. To feel intimately connected in that way to not only a stranger but someone who'd almost killed the man I loved in addition to dragging out my torture, I'd never felt such a disgusting sensation.

I stayed still as Kazama appeared next to Yuki and put the supplies back in my bag. After that he moved over to his saddlebag and began to pick up everything that had been kicked all over the place, including the sketchbook and all his pencils. None of us said anything as he cleaned up the mess he'd made in his rage and once he'd finished he came back to me.

I flinched as he manifested right before me, sitting down in seiza. 'Normal oni bites do not swell or bruise in this way nor are they painful so evidently this isn't a true oni bite. Therefore, it will probably heal quicker.' He prophesised, taking my hands into his. 'Until then you should not exert yourself. If you need anything you should ask me, ok?' He asked, squeezing my hands.

I nodded my head, pushing my fringe nervously behind my ears.

Kazama let out a slow breath, relaxing his shoulders. 'Good. Now come here.' He requested, but before I could move he was already beside me.

I let him pull me against his side and wrap his arm around me, and in return I leaned into his body.

Revelling in his warmth, I gave into his effort to comfort me. Even after his rage it was still apparent that he could console me like no one else could and I focused on the sound of his heart beating against my ear, just as fast as mine. His hands grazed over my head, wrapping his fingers around my hair, combing through it in a movement to soothe me, and as the seconds ticked by I could have fallen asleep. It reminded me of last night when I'd been curled up against him, warm and safe like nothing could ever harm me.

We stayed like that for a long time. I wasn't sure how long before Amagiri and Shiranui returned but I did know I never wanted this to end. I didn't want to have to pull away from him, especially as his fingers trailed soothingly through my hair and his other hand held me tightly against him. We simply stared out into the forest, absorbed with each other, and after a while I was so convinced I was actually going to fall asleep that I closed my eyes.

Suddenly Kazama spoke, his voice quiet but deep. 'Last night I thought that I'd finally be sated…' He began, his hands moving from my hair to my face where he lifted my chin.

When I opened my eyes I went red without hesitation, wondering where he was going with this. Every time he spoke about last night I felt like I was going to go crazy with desire like I almost had last night but this time I didn't know what he was intending to say.

But he continued before I had to ask. 'But I don't think I'll be ever sated when it comes to you.' He murmured, sliding the pad of his thumb over my lips.

Once he'd finished he ran his fingers over my flushed cheeks. At his words my heart felt like it was going to explode and all I could do in reaction to his comment was grow redder and try to keep my heart from jumping out of my throat. But no matter how embarrassed I got I couldn't look away from him, couldn't escape the way his eyes were swirling with a mix of heat and gentleness, and just for that moment I allowed myself to fantasise about if he had feelings for me too.

The possibility made my skin grow hot. To have Kazama feel the same way as I did about him… it would only validate my feelings, giving me encouragement to fall even deeper. If he loved me too then there would be no reason to be hesitant or cautious anymore about us. I knew my heart would be safe with him.

So before I could chicken out, I brought my face close enough to his so I could plant a soft kiss on his lips.

Kazama's eyes widened almost to the shape of perfect circles, but by the time he knew what was happening I'd already pulled away. He stared at me as if I'd just stabbed him instead, shock visible in every feature on his face, and I quickly lowered my head before I died of humiliation. It had taken everything in me to bring up the courage to do that but it had been worth it to catch him so off guard.

When it became apparent he was too shocked even to speak, I felt pressured to end the awkwardness. 'Do you… do you want me to go find Amagiri-san and Shiranui-san so we can leave soon?' I mumbled, believing we would be departing now even though I wanted to stay.

Before he could answer I heard the snap of a twig behind me, and Kazama spoke as I turned around. 'There is n-no need.' He said, trying to reel himself together again as Shiranui and Amagiri stepped back into the clearing.

Just 10 seconds earlier and they would have seen a lot more than just Kazama and I talking.

Blushing profusely, I smiled at them rather awkwardly. 'Oh… hey.' I said as Shiranui narrowed his eyes at our suspicious behaviour. Thankfully he didn't say anything about it and continued to walk closer to us and the horses, directly beside Amagiri who was trying hard not to comprehend why both Kazama and I looked so flustered.

There was a moment of taught silence before Kazama seemed to regain his wits. 'Uh… let's go.' He said, omitting his usual comment about how we had to be somewhere before nightfall or that we only had a certain amount of time until the next village. It was so unusual to see him like this and I swore I could see some pink on his cheeks but before I could confirm it he'd already appeared beside Yuki, hauling himself up into the saddle.

I shuffled over to join him, suffering from the narrowed eyes of Shiranui, and let Kazama help me up.

Immediately I hid my face behind his cape, settling behind him obediently. I could still feel his lips on mine, their soft texture and impossible warmth, and it was a wonder I could sit the horse without sliding off in my daze. Kazama didn't speak to me as I wrapped my arms around his torso as he kicked Yuki's sides gently and she lurched into a slow walk.

When I was certain no one could see my face, I drew my lower lip into my mouth and savoured his taste. It still lingered on my lips as did his heat and it made me delirious enough that I thought I was going to lose control of my body. Who knew even such a simple kiss could leave me this giddy and dazed, although it hadn't been nowhere near enough to satisfy me. Not that I thought I could ever be satisfied.

As we started to pick up pace, I thought about what he'd said earlier, that he would never be sated. I knew how he felt because I was experiencing such a doubt myself. No wonder everyone made a big deal about this stuff; it really was magical and pleasurable and everything Sen said it would be. Already I wanted more even though it had not yet been 5 minutes since the last time our lips had made contact. Such a chaste kiss had left me in yearning.

When we finally started to gallop I let the wind chill the burning in my face, closing my eyes to seal off the world.

And as we rode until nightfall all I could think about was the man in front of me.

* * *

 **Ending note**

Hope you enjoyed the chapter! D

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	46. Tempest

Hey everyone! A slightly earlier-than-usual chapter.

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* * *

 **Tempest**

Covering my head with my cape, all I could do was shiver on the back of Yuki as the rain pummeled down on us.

It had been raining for a while now. At first it had started with a light shower, as gentle as the mist from a waterfall, but as the clouds swallowed the sun and the sky became black the rain had increased to a downpour. Kazama had mentioned that he'd spotted some shallow caves on the mountain face as we'd been approaching so I presumed that would be our shelter tonight.

And so here we were, halfway up a small mountain seeking out shelter just after the sun had set.

As I pulled my cape higher over my head I couldn't help but fantasise about a warm fire. I was soaked from head to toe and all I could think about was slipping into the warm yukata Yui had given me and sitting by the flames with a hot cup of tea like I used to do on cold nights back in Kyoto. I'd always loved the cold but the rain not so much, or at least not when I couldn't escape it.

But thankfully it was only a few more minutes before we finally began to slow down.

Kazama gave Yuki's reins a brief but strong tug to bring her to a walk as we approached a cave. It was on the side of the mountain and deep enough that no rain would get to us and all I wanted to do was leap off Yuki and run inside, tearing off my wet clothes as I went. As we finally came to a halt and I peered into it all I could see was the back of the cave melting into blackness. But at least it was dry.

Kazama wasted no time as he dismounted, turning around to help me down. As our eyes met I suppressed a silly blush, trying not to notice the rain drops as they dripped from his hair and onto his skin.

It had been a few days since we'd left the village and still it felt like I was about to have a heart attack every time I looked at him. Every day all day all I could focus on was what had happened between us and it only made it worse that I'd sensed a change in him too. Apart from his usual fussing and stubbornness in regards to the lingering bite on my neck he'd been nothing short of… _sweet_ , and on a few occasions I'd even caught him staring at me with something close to wonder.

Once he helped me slide off from Yuki he kept my hand in his. 'Quickly, Chizuru.' He urged, ushering me into the mouth of the cave. The others dismounted too and brought the horses inside, shrugging off their coats as I unclipped my cape and hung it on a protruding tree root.

I was beyond freezing as I stood there shivering, kicking off my boots and wincing as I saw wet socks. Kazama also took off his boots and unbuttoned his vest before hanging it next to my things, the shape of his body on display as his wet shirt clung to his skin, and then he ran his fingers through his hair to collect the water droplets. Embarrassed by my own lust yet desperate for warmth, it was taking everything I had not to beg him to hurry up and use his powers to make a fire.

Before I gathered the courage to do so he looked at me again. 'Go change out of those clothes or you'll get sick. I'll work on the fire.' He said as if he could read my mind.

Nodding, I collected my saddlebag. 'Ok.' I said, making my way into the darkness at the back of the cave.

It required all my concentration not to trip over but eventually I found a corner I could hide behind in order to get changed. Once I was hidden I took all my clothes off, stripping down to bare skin with relish and using the least damp item of fabric to dry myself off. The air was cold and stagnant but all of it seemed to disappear immediately as I noticed a small explosion of orange light spill throughout the cave, letting me know Kazama had succeeded in creating a fire.

Doubling my pace, I practically tore the blue yukata from my saddlebag and put it on.

When it was properly tied to my body I gathered all my wet clothes and came out from behind the corner. As I predicted Kazama had already made a fire amongst a pile of damp wood that was no doubt only burning because he was sustaining it and when I approached he turned to look at me, silently appraising my figure. It had been some time since I'd worn non-Western clothes and the change was a relief even if it meant it gave Kazama another reason to look at me.

I sat down beside the flames, remembering that he had his yukata and haori with him too. 'You should get out of those clothes as well.' I murmured, gesturing to his saddle bag where his Japanese clothing was contained.

Kazama raised an eyebrow at me but didn't make an effort to move. 'Are you going to help me?' Was his simple yet humiliating response, and when he saw my embarrassment his lips twitched into a proud smirk. 'I suppose you are right. But my offer to help still stands.' He said as he raised himself off the ground, sending me almost an inviting regard before he disappeared.

Once he was gone I cringed, disappointed in myself for being so transparent with my feelings. Whenever he said or did things like that it was always so obvious how they affected me and even several minutes after he'd gone my blush hadn't disappeared. If perhaps we did chose a life together then I doubted even then would I get any better at handling myself around him.

Suddenly Shiranui scowled, letting out an unimpressed sigh. 'I hate caves.' He mumbled cryptically, settling down by the fire to dry off his boots.

I remembered that he'd mentioned a while ago that his village had been located within a cave and that he'd felt a little trapped there, and it had been partly for that reason that he'd volunteered to be the one to clear his own clan's debt.

Looking over the fire at him, I sought to gain more information. ''Is that because of your village?' I asked, my voice echoing throughout the cave.

I'd hoped he wouldn't find my question too personal but he didn't seem to find it as such. 'Partly so. It's also just because they're dark and gloomy.' He noted, sweeping his hair over his shoulder. It was as drenched as mine and the colour of ink now that it was wet. If Shiranui he had have been more accepting of compliments then I wouldn't have hesitated to tell him that I really liked his hair. Especially now, as it reminded me of Hijikata's.

Desperately dismissing that thought, my next words were more of a pensive remark. 'I can't imagine living in a cave. Were you allowed to leave the village whenever you wanted?' I posed curiously.

However, just before he could speak someone else answered for him. 'Onis are discouraged from leaving the confounds of their village because they can no longer be protected.' Came a deep voice from the shadows.

Moments later Kazama emerged from the back of the cave clothed in his white yukata and black haori. His hair was still wet but the rest of him was dry, his garment was open wide enough to expose some of his chest, and the sight made my mouth grow desiccate. He was so effortlessly handsome.

He sat down next to me, tilting his head towards the fire so his hair could dry. 'Does that answer your question, Chizuru?' He asked, expecting an answer even though I was largely speechless right now.

I nodded, clearing my throat so I could talk. 'It does, thanks…' I murmured, continuing before he could see how flustered he made me. 'So what happens if an oni chooses to leave? Do they get in trouble?' I asked naively.

Kazama turned his head in my direction, his hair becoming feathery as it dried. 'No oni _chooses_ to leave their own village. Such is a thing is practically unheard of. There are only two onis that would have such an infatuation with the human world to even think of doing so, and they are _you_ and _him_.' He accused, pointing to Shiranui and I in turn.

Shiranui rolled his eyes but provided no retort. Instead he left that up to me.

Sighing, I gave him a look. 'Well, it's not like I chose to live in the human world. That choice was made for me.' I highlighted, parting my hair in sections so it would dry faster, and Kazama acknowledged my comment by reaching over to take some into his hand. 'I am aware of that. But even now you would prefer to stay, wouldn't you, or else you would have already accepted my offer to come to my village with me.' He said, letting the chunk of my hair fall from his fingers.

I went red, frowning at him through my embarrassment. 'Well… you weren't just asking for me to live in your village. You were asking for me to… to…' I trailed off, too embarrassed to say it as I could feel Kazama's amusement growing. Not to mention Shiranui and Amagiri were right there.

Kazama smirked, tilting his head to one side. 'I was asking you to marry me?' He offered, finishing my sentence because he knew I wasn't capable of it.

I narrowed my eyes and looked back at the fire, unwilling to humour him by providing a response. I always got so frazzled when he talked about marriage especially because he did it with so much ease and collection. It was almost as if he was speaking about something normal like eating or drinking and not something that implied he and I would fall in love, have children and spend our lives together. The thought of it filled me with both excitement and uncertainty.

Kazama's smirk intensified as he realised I wasn't going to reply. 'My offer still stands, of course. Not that you will have any other choice than to say yes eventually, given your recent compliance.' He said arrogantly, leaning back on his forearms.

I grit my teeth, praying that by 'recent compliance' he hadn't mean 'kisses'. The last thing I wanted him to do was bring that up in front of Shiranui and Amagiri even though I suspected they already knew.

I crossed my arms, indignant as usual. 'Kazama-san…' I muttered, nervously peeking at Shiranui and Amagiri as they watched the conversation unfold with amusement.

Kazama rolled his eyes, gesturing to them lazily. 'You think they don't already know what has transpired between us, Chizuru?' He asked almost with a smile, thoroughly enjoying the way my expression instantly grew strained and appalled at the same time.

I was almost on the verge of exploding with embarrassment, barely able to scold him. If they hadn't known before then they certainly did now and my worst nightmare was confirmed when I looked at them both and saw they were trying to hide their smiles. It was a rare day indeed that I saw Amagiri struggling to contain himself and now was one of those times.

'K-Kazama-san!' I hissed, wrapping my yukata tighter around my body in an effort to shield myself from Shiranui and Amagiri's increasingly amused glances.

But before Kazama could contend my chastisement, Shiranui decided this was too much of a good opportunity to make things even worse. 'It certainly is about time you two got honest with each other. Just don't start sharing saliva in front of me.' He advised, having no regard to how Kazama or I would take being scolded by him.

My mouth fell open, staring at Shiranui as if he'd just killed someone instead. 'Shiranui-san!' I gasped in horror.

I was beyond mortified, especially as Amagiri raised a hand to his mouth to hide his smile. Kazama was not normally willing to indulge Shiranui's jesting, especially when it came to me, but this time even he was unable to supress a chuckle at my reaction.

What was wrong with these people? How could they be so forward? I refused to believe all onis were like this.

Unable to bear it any longer, I raised myself off the ground. 'I'm going to make tea.' I stated with frustration, turning on my heel to move over to my bag to fetch the tealeaves. Even the briefest of moments away from their glares and smiles was welcome and I felt like I wanted to stay in the shadows forever and never come out. I didn't understand how they could all talk about Kazama and I so laxly without any shame whatsoever. Even Amagiri had struggled to conceal his amusement.

Shaking my head, I snatched the leaves from my bag and then sourced the teapot and cups. I moved as slow as possible so I didn't have to turn around straight away but when it became obvious I was only stalling I stood up and moved over to the mouth of the cave. I could have easily poured the water from my flask into the teapot but that would have meant I'd have to sit next to the others quicker, so instead I stepped almost out into the rain and let the falling water fill it up.

I could feel Kazama watching me, half with intrigue and half with amusement. How did he not get embarrassed upon hearing Shiranui talk that way about us? Didn't he feel mortified that they knew we'd kissed? Possibly twice? Or technically three times, since I'd kissed him when he'd been unconscious. I was having trouble believing he was so casual about the whole issue but I supposed I'd been fooling myself if I thought we'd be able to keep this a secret anyway. Eventually everyone was going to find out. Sen, the Shinsengumi, Hijikata…

I cringed inwardly, fighting off my own self-loathing. I didn't want to feel any guilt but I kind of did, knowing that I'd loved Hijikata for all this time and yet I'd given my first kiss to Kazama. Perhaps my mind was still struggling with the knowledge I was in love with them both and that's where my guilt actually stemmed from. Either way, it wasn't a pleasant feeling and I didn't want to fixate on it.

Once the teapot was filled up I knew I could no longer remain separated from the others, and so I walked as calmly as I could back to the fire. Kazama watched me sit back down next to him and coax some coals away from the flames, placing the pot down on the embers before opening the top and pouring in the tea leaves. I stirred them a few times slowly and then placed the lid on before I began to organise the cups.

I thought I was going to explode from the silence before Kazama finally said something. 'I suppose we should get used to this horrid weather. We are growing closer to the sea.' He announced to no one in particular, leaning back on his forearms and staring into the flames.

Amagiri nodded, his eyes fixed on the flames too. 'Soon we will be able to see the mountains framing Aomori. After all, our journey is now coming to a close. There must only be just over a week left.' He stated, neither passionately nor dispassionately.

Everyone seemed to ponder that for a while, but none deeper than I. At the end of this journey I was the one who had the most thinking to do. Although I knew I wouldn't choose to accompany Kazama straight after the journey I couldn't predict whether I would choose him in the future and I was sure not even Kazama truly knew the answer to that either. It was I who would also have to make the most adjustments to a new life, one where the Shinsengumi as an organisation no longer existed, where my friends would have to try and work out their own lives without their swords and banners. As enemies of the government, the Shinsengumi could be no longer. It was possible they would have to adopt normal, civil lives at least until the aftermath of the war died down.

Sighing subconsciously, I tried to imagine where I would fit into this. Who would I live with? What would I do? When I'd lived with the Shinsengumi I'd been able to run errands, deliver messages and cook and clean. If we no longer all lived together in the Shinsengumi headquarters, which no doubt no longer belonged to us, then we would have to live in separate houses and I was kind of worried how I would fit into their new lives. If I wished to be with Hijikata then it would be obvious I'd live with him, or at least after we were wed.

There was so much to think about between now and when we arrived in Ezo.

When the teapot started to whistle I lifted it off the flames and began to pour tea into everyone's cups. They watched me with eager eyes as I placed the teapot back on the coals and began to hand over their drinks, the first going to Kazama and then to Shiranui and Amagiri in turn.

Amagiri bowed his head as he took the tea from me. 'Thank you, Chizuru-sama.' He said with gratitude, back to his usual serious self.

I could just barely push out a 'you're welcome' given what we were just talking about before but they'd managed to at least pretend as if it had never happened. All except for Kazama of course, who was _still_ looking at me. I wasn't sure if he knew I was aware he was looking or if he just didn't care but either way this hadn't been the first time he'd stared at me since we'd first kissed.

Pushing a strand of drying hair behind my ear I concentrated on my tea, simply listening as Amagiri continued to speak. 'What are the arrangements once we reach Aomori?' He asked Kazama, a question which I should have thought to ask a long time ago.

Kazama's confident expression conveyed that he already had everything prepared. 'We will rent a house just outside the city as it will be more comfortable long-term than an inn. I will organise this as soon as we arrive but we may still have to stay at an inn for a few days until the arrangement is finalised.' He said, bringing his cup to his lips.

I was surprised to hear this. I'd presumed we'd stay in an inn until we made our way over to Ezo but I couldn't deny I was eager to have my own house. Inns were often crowded and noisy and there were queues to access the bathing facilities. Although a house would definitely have been more expensive to rent I didn't put it past Kazama to do such a thing because like me he valued privacy and personal space.

Amagiri gave a brief nod, acknowledging Kazama's explanation. 'Do you have a prediction to how long it will take to source a boat?' He posed.

Kazama swirled his tea around in his cup before responding. 'It could be a few days to a few weeks. Either way, both you and Shiranui are not expected to accompany Chizuru and I to Ezo. You may depart from Aomori whenever you wish.'

I was also looking at Kazama at this point, unable to hide my curiosity. I'd been under the impression that both Amagiri and Shiranui were under Kazama's orders until the war ended but here Kazama was already promising them their freedom. I wondered why he would let them go so early, also finding it hard to imagine what it would be like with just the two of us.

Amagiri looked to the side at Shiranui, exchanging a silent regard, before turning back to Kazama. 'In that case I will stay until you have found a boat. Afterwards I shall take my leave as I cannot deny I have been apart from Sen for too long. The current situation remains quite dangerous for her.' He said, his face softening.

Kazama inclined his head, turning to Shiranui who appeared to be deep in thought. I wouldn't have been surprised if Shiranui chose to leave as soon as he stepped foot in Aomori. I'd often got the impression that he couldn't wait to be freed from Kazama's presence as their personalities were polar opposite.

However, I was shocked when he gave his answer. 'I suppose I'll do the same. I've already come this far.' He sighed, shocking me by deciding to stay.

Kazama appeared unsurprised even though he must have been. 'Very well. Here I was hoping Chizuru and I would have a house to ourselves but it appears that won't be the case. How unfortunate.' He said with a tweak of his lips, downing the rest of his tea whilst looking in my direction.

I frowned at him as sternly as I could manage but he didn't let me react before he held out his cup to me.

Staring down at it, it didn't take me long to realise he wanted me to pour him some more tea. I thought he'd learned his lesson in Yamamura when he'd done the same thing with sake, expecting me to refill his cup by either holding it out to me or simply saying my name with a raise of his eyebrow. But it seemed he was determined to stick with his old ways.

I kept my expression strict as I prepared myself to be unyielding. 'What?' I asked curtly, attracting the attention of Shiranui and Amagiri. Judging by the way they were now looking at us they knew exactly what I'd meant and they also knew Kazama wouldn't be happy about it.

Kazama's hand dropped a little at my resistance but he didn't withdraw completely. 'Come now, Chizuru. Don't be difficult.' He chastised lightly, his pride preventing him from just saying please even if it would be to avoid an argument.

But I wasn't backing down. 'It's not me who is being difficult. All you need to do is say please.' I said, cursing myself as I began to blush despite my determination to be serious.

He must have noticed but he didn't mention it; instead he narrowed his eyes at me and internally considered the pros and cons of being polite. I didn't know why it was such a big deal to him but I presumed some of it was because Shiranui and Amagiri were here and he didn't want to be chastised in front of them.

But eventually he conceded, lifting his cup up again. 'As you wish, _kitten_. Would you care to pour me a drink _please_?' He sighed, placing extra emphasis on the title I thought he'd forgotten about.

Turning even redder, I gave him a disapproving look. I wanted to say no just because of what he'd called me but at the end of the day I knew it would be the best I'd get.

Sighing, I picked up the teapot and filled up his cup. 'Seriously.' I mumbled under my breath, filling up my own cup once I was done with his.

Kazama, of course, knew that he'd managed to turn the humiliation back on me by using my old nickname. He hadn't called me that since we'd left Yamamura and I could see the pleasure in his eyes at having revived it. I wanted to hate it entirely but some part of me found it quaint that he'd given me a nickname, even though it was embarrassing.

As we drank our tea in silence I looked outside to the black sky, noting how it was still raining heavily. The sun had set before we'd stopped for shelter and I was beginning to feel tired but thankfully the wound on my neck was no longer contributing to any of my exhaustion. It was now just a few teeth marks with limited bruising, having started to disappear only a few days after I'd received it and was probably only a day or two away from healing entirely. I couldn't wait for that moment. I didn't want to be reminded of it anymore.

Letting out a small sigh, I decided it was wise to retire for the night lest fatigue overcome me entirely.

I removed the teapot from the coals, looking across at the others. 'Well, I think I may go to bed now.' I said, tightening the cord of my yukata as I stood.

To my surprise, Kazama rose with me. 'Let me treat your wound first, Chizuru.' He said, giving me the look that implied it was not negotiable. He'd done this since he'd found out about the bite mark and he refused to let me treat it myself, almost as if it was his way of atoning to what he believed to be his fault. I didn't really like that thought but I permitted it in order to satisfy him.

Shoulders slumping, I let out a defeated sigh. 'Ok, Kazama-san.' I said, watching as he began to rummage through my saddlebag to extract the medical supplies.

While he was busy collecting what he needed I moved a few metres away to fetch my futon. Thankfully it had a waterproof casing which meant it wasn't wet and after I'd made sure it was indeed dry I pulled it out of moved over to the back of the cave. I was quite a distance from the fire but I didn't mind so much given that my futon warmed up pretty rapidly.

Laying it down and unfolding my blankets, I sat down on it and waited for Kazama to join me. He was fetching the last of the things he needed, his back to me and his blonde hair blazing gold from the fire. Even without the sight of his face he was still so beautiful, in his poise and figure, and even in the way his graceful fingers gathered what he needed. I was still having trouble believing I'd kissed someone so angelically handsome. And someone so stubborn.

Smiling at the thought, Kazama finally turned around and made his way over to me but I wiped it from face before he saw.

When I began to unravel my bandage, he prepared to treat me. 'It appears to be almost healed.' He said, soaking a cloth with disinfectant.

I ran my fingers over it and was pleased to find the swelling was almost entirely gone. 'It seems so. I am relieved.' I admitted, watching his face for any signs of revulsion at the wound. He'd gotten pretty good at hiding it over the past few days but it was still there, simmering beneath the surface. He'd always be angry that I'd gotten bitten.

Eventually he raised the cloth to my neck, as gentle as ever as he cleaned the wound. 'As am I. The first and only mark upon your skin should have been mine.' He said calmly, pushing my hair away from my neck as it got in the way of the cloth.

His nails on my skin sent shivers down my body, as did what he'd said. If I'd ever chosen to get bitten then I would have wanted it to be him who did so first but I feared now that it would take much for me to bring up the courage to get bitten again, even willingly. Even though the presence of the man had largely drained from my body I still had nightmares about what he'd done to me and I couldn't imagine an occasion where a bite would feel pleasurable.

I lowered my eyes, my voice only a whisper. 'I don't understand how anyone can enjoy that.' I murmured.

It was then that Kazama pulled the cloth away, lifting his eyes from my wound to my own. He looked at me perhaps empathetically, maybe pitifully, or maybe something else entirely before he let out a sigh. 'Of course you don't. It was done against your will. But you will understand one day how it's supposed to feel with someone you care about. And then you will change your mind.' He prophesised, cutting off a length of bandage.

I swallowed, wondering if he knew this because he'd been told or if he'd experienced it before. I wasn't sure how I felt about the prospect someone had bitten him because it meant that he'd cared enough for someone else to let him do so. The thought of such a thing instilled a kind of jealously within me that was similar to when I'd found out he wasn't a virgin.

Looking down at my hands, I almost couldn't bear to ask the question even though I wanted an answer. 'Have you… have you ever… been bitten before?' I asked quietly, my cheeks heating up as he went to reach for my neck but paused momentarily.

I couldn't believe I of all people had managed to ask something so embarrassing. Kazama was evidently surprised as well given the way he'd paused but it didn't take him long to close the distance, beginning to wrap the bandage around my neck. I thought he'd never answer me due to his quietude and I feared his silence was because the answer was an unfavourable one.

However, he gave his response after the bandage had been secured. 'No, I have not.' He said, retracting his hands.

It took everything I had to contain the sigh of relief that wanted to leave my mouth. There would have been nothing worse than knowing he'd shared such intimate experiences with someone else.

Kazama placed the lid on the disinfectant bottle and wrapped the remaining bandage into a coil. 'I have neither bitten nor been bitten before. Those experiences will be yours to take from me, Chizuru, when you want them.' He added casually, picking up my hand to hold in his own.

My blush intensified at his proclamation. I should have known he'd say something like that but I couldn't help but feel giddy at knowing he wanted me to share such a thing with him. I hoped that if it ever did occur that it would indeed be as enjoyable as what he was making it out to be.

When Kazama saw I was incapable of answering he took my other hand into his. 'Would it have bothered you if my answer to your question had have been a yes?' He asked, tilting his head to one side as he awaited my reply.

My expression immediately changed from timid to mortified. I refused to answer him but unfortunately my silence was enough of an answer for him anyway. There were only a few things someone like me would feel jealous because of and he was honoured to be one of them.

Chuckling, I could see the knowledge pleased him. 'Who would have thought you'd ever be so jealous when it came to me. I'm flattered.' He provoked, taking joy in the pain on my face.

Pulling my hands away from his, I sent him a withering glare. 'Now that you've treated my wound I would like to go to bed.' I deadpanned, growing defiant as I realised he'd pushed me into a corner. I couldn't even bring myself to refute that I wasn't jealous because I was.

Kazama chuckled again, seizing my hands once more. 'And I would like to continue speaking to my wife. But if you are truly determined to go to bed, perhaps I can allow this if you permit me to…'

'No.' I interrupted before he could ask to sleep in my futon, desperate to be free from him lest this situation become worse.

Kazama seemed amused with my impatience but he wasn't finished yet. 'But you had no qualms in me doing so in the village, isn't that so? Your mixed signals continue to be very confusing, Chizuru. One minute you pretend as if you dislike me and the next you're pushing me down into a futon.'

'Kazama-san!' I hissed for the hundredth time that night, taking a precautious look at Amagiri and Shiranui over by the fire. They were either pretending not to listen or they really couldn't but it could have gone either way. Kazama and I were quite a distance from the fire.

Kazama relished in how flustered I'd become, his eyes sparkling. 'Your modesty is most amusing. In any case, I must admit I desire your company for just a while longer. Will you really deny me of it?' He asked earnestly, surprising me with his seemingly genuine request to continue to speak with me.

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously, unwilling to agree if he was only going to keep teasing me. 'I suppose I could be lenient. But only if you stop making fun of me.' I mumbled, unable to refuse his request after all.

At my surrender Kazama drew my hands back into his. 'Even though it's most entertaining, I will cease to do so. Perhaps you would like to initiate a telepathic link seeing as though it has been a while since we have done so?' He suggested, sliding his thumbs over my hands.

I quickly grew suspicious again but truthfully all I wanted to do was share my thoughts with him. I loved the feeling of being mentally connected to him and the feeling of talking telepathically, and it _had_ been such a long time since we'd spoken this way. I'd been missing it for a long time.

Sighing, I gave in. 'Fine.' I said.

He was evidently pleased with himself, I could see, and shortly after I felt his mind brush against mine. Our eyes met at that moment and I didn't waste any time before drawing him into my head, a place more private than anywhere else, and his fingers tightened around mine as he recognised he was officially in my mind.

I sighed aloud, but my words were inaudible to all but him. _So what did you want to talk about?_ : I asked him cautiously, hoping he hadn't opted to communicate telepathically just so he could discuss embarrassing topics.

Kazama tilted his head, perhaps confused. _There was nothing in particular, Chizuru. Must there always be a purpose to conversation other than to amuse oneself? But if you wish for me to provide a topic then perhaps you can tell me how you're feeling about the end of the journey_ : he posed, raising an eyebrow as I peered up at him meekly.

Pushing my hair behind my ear, I wasn't sure how I could respond to that. Truthfully I was confused and perplexed and excited all at once. I knew the Shinsengumi were alive and so my mind was largely at rest but there was still some part of me that remained uncertain about what the end of the trip would bring.

I shrugged, pulling one hand from his to mindlessly tug at the loose threads in my blanket. _I'm eager for it to be over, I guess. I miss them all. And Osen-chan as well:_ I sighed, thinking about how nice it would be once we were all reunited.

Kazama seemed unimpressed with my response. _Hmph. To think soon I'll have to go back to battling for your attention with that rabid dog. And soon after that I'll have to leave you with him while I go back to my village_ : he muttered, his talkative mood shattered momentarily at the thought of having to share me once more. Here I was virtually all his with no one else to vie for my affections and I knew he'd have trouble adjusting to the contrary again. But I too wasn't looking forward to not seeing him for an extended period of time.

I peeked up at him to see a strangely endearing childish pout on his lips. _Well… if I knew how to use the middle power I got from my father then we… we would still be able to talk_ : I murmured, embarrassed to admit I'd be interested in keeping in contact with him.

According to Kazama, my father had possessed the ability to speak with anyone long-distance as long as he was in possession of something they owned. His communication could occur through dreams or trances, or even as Kazama and I were talking now; all without the physical presence of the person. It was amazing.

Kazama's pout disappeared, his shoulders growing less rigid _. I have been meaning to talk about that with you for quite some time, Chizuru. I believe once we have covered your basic oni powers you should begin to explore it_ : he said, watching as my eyes widened in shock.

Did that mean Kazama was going to teach me?

I had no idea how he would know how to teach me how to use my middle power but I wouldn't complain if he did. I'd been much too preoccupied with my normal oni abilities to worry about my middle power but I'd thought about it a few times and how convenient it would be. I'd be able to talk to everyone whenever I wanted, providing I was capable of doing what my father could do. I still wasn't sure of the limit of my power because I'd only consumed a few drops of his blood and so his middle power within me was likely to be faint.

I sat up on my calves, all my attention on him. _You can teach me how to use it?:_ I gasped, blinking a few times, but unfortunately he shook his head. _No, I personally can't. But this kind of middle power is quite common and there are a few onis I am aware of who could show you where to begin, my cousin being one of them. Once I return to fetch you from Kyoto I shall arrange for someone to coach you. Is this agreeable?_ : he asked, giving me an expectant regard.

I lowered my eyes as he reminded me that he would come back for me there, and then I nodded. _Uh… I suppose. But I thought you said that no two onis have the same middle power?_ _How is someone going to help me if that is so?_ : I asked curiously.

Kazama leaned back against the cave wall, his hand still enclosed around mine. _No two onis can have exactly the same power, that's true, but they may share similar traits. Generally middle powers can be split into categories, such as elemental or psychic, among many others, and some of the powers within these categories may be used or called upon in the same way. The category of your father's middle power is titled 'telepathy' and is one of the more common types of middle power. The category of your power mimicry ability is 'absorption' and is quite rare, especially in the form that you have it._

He paused there to look deep in my eyes, unequivocally mystified by me. _Unfortunately, for your power mimicry I do not know anyone equipped to coach you so you will have to uncover its limits on your own. But thankfully you already know how it is activated, as we saw in Yamamura_ : he noted, his serpent pupils dilating slightly as he examined me.

I looked away, knowing exactly what he meant. To activate my power mimicry I needed to drink blood.

An image of me on fire suddenly came to mind. I'd been covered in it, made of it, burning so brightly I'd no doubt blinded everyone in the courtyard. The vision at Yamamura of me on fire had been so vivid and also so strangely mesmerising and I couldn't believe that one day I'd hold that power in my own hands, the same amount of power that Kazama held now as clan leader.

Swallowing, I went back to pulling apart my futon one thread at a time. _Can you… can you do that? Turn your flesh to fire?_ : I murmured, only looking up at him a few seconds after I'd asked the question.

Kazama idly played with my fingers, his ministrations making me lightheaded. _No, not yet at least. Such an ability is only achievable by stronger oni and as of now I am too young. In the peak of his power my father could transform himself into a dragon made of flames, easily three storeys high and many more long, and I will be capable of such a feat too in some years. And apparently so will you if you are one day to possess my clan power:_ he stated.

I was almost too impressed by his father's ability to be embarrassed about his last sentence. I couldn't imagine what it would have looked like to see such a thing, a dragon reaching 3 storeys high, and made out of fire no less. It was inconceivable.

Before I could retaliate he had already began to talk again. _And have you thought about what else you will obtain in addition to my clan power should you drink my blood?_ : he posed, making me frown.

I narrowed my eyes at him for a while, sceptical about his slight smirk, before I shook my head. _And what would that be?_ : I asked unenthusiastically, expecting something embarrassing or suggestive.

Reaching up to capture my chin in his fingertips, his eyes were shining. _My middle power, of course. The power of the Hoshi clan_.

Pausing, it took a while for it to sink in. I'd been so fixated on my vision in Yamamura of me on fire to recognise the other half of Kazama that I would absorb should I drink his blood; his middle power. It made me dizzy to think of all these new abilities I'd receive, all the things I could do, and I wasn't sure how I felt about having the potential to be so omnipotent.

Kazama saw the shock on my face and continued. _To think that the most timid, innocent woman I know would have access to the power of 3 clans and the ability to absorb many more. You will most definitely need to be monitored lest you decide to take over the world, Chizuru, and surely I am the only man worthy of such a pleasant task_ : he teased, kissing my index finger.

I went red immediately, increasingly so as he slowly began to kiss the rest of my fingers individually. But I couldn't pull away. His touch was as intoxicating as was the allure of his words and more and more I believed that he was indeed the only man deserving of caring for me. And as an oni he would be able to understand me better than any human man anyway.

Discarding such thoughts, I flashed him an irate regard despite the fact I'd just let him kiss all my fingers without an ounce of resistance. _Well who knows when this will happen anyway or how for that matter. There's no point dwelling on what hasn't yet occurred_ : I argued, defending myself.

Kazama chuckled, beginning to idly play with my bracelet. _Hopefully it will occur soon because if I must wait yet another 5 years on top of what I've already waited just to taste your blood I may indeed go crazy. It took 5 years just to taste this_ : he teased, his fingertips pressing quickly to my lips before they dropped so he could absorb the full sight of my mortification.

I went rigid, fighting off the urge to flee, and I cast him a dark glare. _Ok. This conversation is over._ _You promised you wouldn't make fun of me_ : I accused, punishing him for breaking his promise by trying to pull away from him.

Kazama lifted his unoccupied hand in a gesture of peace while the other struggled to maintain hold of my hand. _I was simply making an observation, that is all_ : he shot back, but I could see from the mirth in his eyes that he hadn't been able to contain himself.

After a few more seconds of struggling to no avail I gave up and changed the topic in case he decided to continue with it. _So_ …: I began awkwardly, trying not to think of his lips. _Why did you let Amagiri-san and Shiranui-san leave from Aomori when they wished? I thought they were under your command until the war had ended?_

Kazama sat up straighter, outwardly pleased I was taking interest in him. _The war is practically at its end anyway. It will cease probably once we reach Ezo and with it so close there is no need for them to journey across with us. And I will be leaving you too, Chizuru, when we arrive._

I hadn't expected that. Well, I kind of had but I hadn't wanted it to be true. I'd known that Kazama wasn't going to accompany me to find the Shinsengumi as he had his own matters to attend to but I hoped it wouldn't be the last time I'd see him before I left for Kyoto and he departed for Akimura, his village.

I slouched my shoulders. _Oh. So what are you doing there anyway? I always assumed you were going there to battle as technically you're on the opposing team. But the war has almost ended now and so there is not much point_ : I highlighted, wrapping my yukata tighter around myself as the chill of the cave began to reach me.

Kazama noticed because he severed our mind link to take his haori off, draping it over my shoulders, before taking my hand again. _My initial reason for departing for Ezo was to join the forces in Ezo, as ordered by the domains, but my incentive to go was quite different. You could not have imagined my satisfaction when I found out you were going there as well_ : he chuckled, smirking as I self-consciously and begrudgingly pulled my arms into his haori. It was so warm and smelt so much like him.

I had to look away before I melted from the combined intensity of his expression and his clothing. _Well, might I remind you that you originally refused to take me so you couldn't have been that satisfied_ : I accused, remembering how desperate I'd been to accompany him to Ezo.

Kazama watched me wrap his haori around my torso, another kind of satisfaction in his eyes. _That is true. Originally I was intending not to take you as I believed it would be dangerous, and it has proven as such. But my mind was changed not by my desire to irate Sen but because it was in arguing that I realised something important_ : he revealed mysteriously, attracting my undivided attention.

I looked up at him, cocking my head to one side. _And what was that?_

When I asked the question Kazama leaned back, his yukata falling slightly off his shoulder. _I realised that if I left you behind then I'd be doing exactly what the Shinsengumi had done to you for 4 years; sheltering you from danger, refusing to let you develop yourself. I'd known since you were a child that you held great potential but potential is nothing if you are not given opportunities to use it and that is why I chose to take you. And look at you now. Exactly the woman and oni I knew you could be, and you have not even learned all your powers yet. Not a day has gone by where you haven't impressed me._

As he finished speaking I quickly lowered my face to hide my blush, but I wasn't blushing from embarrassment. I was so humbled to hear such words come from Kazama that I felt my heart swell in my chest because some part of me knew he was right. I wasn't hopeless or defenseless anymore, not like I used to be, and Kazama had been the only one to see the potential hiding beneath the shy, house-bound girl I'd been just under 4 months ago. I hadn't known it at the time but I'd felt so trapped in the Shinsengumi headquarters and for the first time since those days I recognised that I was finally free. I'd never again have to go back to being that girl. Not now.

Letting out a sigh, I softly placed my spare hand over his. _Thank you, Kazama-san. For showing me what I could do_ : I murmured timidly, unable to meet his eyes.

Kazama twisted his hand around to place on top of mine instead, cupping it within his warm grasp. _There is nothing to thank me for. This is only the beginning of what I will do for you. And you know it_ : he remarked simply.

And he was right. I did know it. I knew that he'd do anything for me.

After some time of sitting in an odd but comfortable silence, I yawned. I'd tried my best to hide it and I'd wanted to because the truth was I didn't want to go to sleep anymore. I wanted to stay up and talk to Kazama and feel his presence in my mind for a while longer, to feel the heat of his hands on mine. I wished my pride had been broken down enough for me to ask him to sleep here with me in my futon like we'd done a few nights ago but unfortunately there was no way I could have requested that.

Kazama noticed my fatigue and removed one hand from mine. _You should rest now. You have fulfilled your promise of keeping me company so now I will let you get some sleep_ : he said, perhaps some displeasure in his tone.

But whatever displeasure he was feeling I was guaranteed to be feeling twice as much.

I struggled not to purse my lips, shifting on the futon. _Oh_ : I said, fidgeting compulsively like I always did when I had something on my mind. _Well… here. You can have this back_ : I said, making a move to return his haori, but he surprised me by placing a hand on my arm. _You keep it for tonight. Since you are not allowing me to sleep beside you then this will have to do. Perhaps it will encourage you to dream about me_ : he said haughtily.

I narrowed my eyes at him but secretly hoped it would be the case.

After the mirth had drained from his face he still didn't pull away nor did I make a move to either. It was obvious that he didn't really want to but he'd been intending to leave for my sake but I hoped with all of my heart that he made one of his executive decisions to stay or that he would force himself to remain by my side, even if I was to fall asleep, because then I could blame the decision on him.

But he didn't. And eventually he did make a move to pull away, albeit with a heavy sigh.

The feeling was akin to dying as he made a move to stand, leaving me sitting on the futon in his shadow. He stood there looking down at me and I forced myself to meet his eyes, a silent bid goodnight before his inevitable return to the fire. My mind was screaming at me to reach out to grab his hand and pull him back down again but I already know I couldn't, especially not in front of Amagiri and Shiranui even though they weren't even watching.

Suddenly he reached out to cup my face as I knelt, slipping into my mind as he did so. _Goodnight, Chizuru_ : he said, waiting for my response.

Swallowing, I peered up at him through dark lashes. _Goodnight, Kazama-san_.

And then I watched him walk back to the flames.

* * *

 **Ending note**

 **Instagram-** fleurlilas_art

I have an international giveaway going on at the moment on my Instagram account where you can win some arty and non-arty things! This includes, but is not limited to, copic markers, a sketch journal, washi tape, notebooks, metallic pens, and more! There are two prizes :D If you haven't already then go check out my Instagram to potentially get your hands on some free stuff.

We are getting close to the home stretch guys! Only a short while away from Aomori :D


	47. Gold and blue

**LOL IM SORRY FOR THE MASSIVE TIME OF NOT UPDATING! Although some of you may have seen that I left a review on this story explaining that I was taking a break in order to finish Uni. Uni is thankfully over now so I have lots of time to write, which I've been doing, but I'm going to write a few more chapters and post them all at the same time! Anyway there were WAY too many reviews to individually thank people but THANK YOU EVERYONE who left a review on my last chapter. Also if you asked a burning question after my last chapter, ask it again in a review! Enjoy, my lovelies xx**

* * *

 **Gold and blue**

I could smell it already. The salt in the air.

We were approaching the sea and had been close for some time. It would still be a day before we reached Aomori but Kazama had said that once we were over this mountain peak then we'd be able to see the ocean. It had been years since I'd seen the sea and I'd truly missed it; the endless blue, the circling birds overhead. Apparently Aomori was a popular area for fishing and swimming.

However, the ocean also meant I was close to Ezo. On a clear day perhaps I'd be able to see the island from the mainland, looming on the horizon like a dark smudge against the blue sky. It would take a night to sail there from Aomori but we weren't guaranteed to find a boat straight away so who knew how long I'd have to wait to reach the shore.

Subconsciously, I held Kazama tightly around his torso. The past fortnight had been a mix of a daze and a dream since the fiasco in the village. Even before my bite wound had healed just over a week ago the relationship between Kazama and I had changed… I'd felt it. He looked at me in a different way, perhaps softer, and I couldn't deny I'd started to look at him differently too. Even though we hadn't kissed since he'd found out about my bite mark it was all I could think about. It was taking every ounce of my concentration every day just to function with him around me.

As if he could read my mind, he reached down to place his hand on my own. 'We're here, Chizuru. Our last camping destination.' He said perhaps ominously, as if it was something momentous.

And it was. As soon as we came up over the mountain peak to a flat, windswept clearing, his last words continued to ring in my ears. This was indeed our last camping destination before we reached Aomori and it only solidified that our journey was officially coming to an end. It left an odd feeling in my heart but the sensation quickly faded when my eyes laid upon the ocean on the horizon.

There it was, the deep blue water cradled against the light blue of the sky. It sparkled in the rapidly setting sun and was so beautiful even from so far away, so much so that I couldn't take my eyes away from it. The mountain we were perched on wasn't overly high but it was high enough that we could see the forest spread out before us like a blanket, fading the closer it got to the ocean in the distance.

It was amazing.

Kazama was undoubtedly not as impressed as I was with the scenery so he dismounted Yuki almost instantly. As his feet hit the grass he turned to helped me down and I accepted his offer as I always did nowadays, settling down beside him on the ground. The clearing had only a few trees and was quite windy but I didn't mind so much because of the view.

Shiranui got off his own horse and tied him to the closest tree, peering out at the ocean too. 'So. This is it.' He sighed, shoving his hand into his pockets and looking rather vacantly out at the ocean in the distance.

Amagiri turned to face it too after he'd secured his horse next to Shiranui's. 'When the sun sets we should be able to see the lights from Aomori against the bay.' He added seemingly to himself, but he pointed to a crescent of white sand that I could just make out beside the sea.

I shifted to see where he was pointing, letting out a small sigh as butterflies began to assault my stomach. My nerves had become harder to calm the closer we came to the end of the journey and lately they'd become so out of control they'd make me ill. Although it was unlikely we'd find a boat to Ezo straight away the reality was it could only be a few days until I saw them again.

The Shinsengumi. And Hijikata.

Before I could work myself up, Kazama came to stand beside me as he addressed the others. 'Set up camp. Shiranui, you begin dinner. Chizuru and I are going to practice her oni powers before the sun sets and we shall be back within the hour.' He voiced, resting his hand on the hilt of his sword.

I blinked a few times in confusion, having been unaware we'd have a lesson tonight, but it didn't really surprise me. For the past two weeks Kazama and I had trained one ability or another at least every day, either swordplay or telepathy or strength. He'd been stricter than usual in how he taught me but I kind of liked it when he pushed me. It reminded me that I was stronger than I thought.

Before I could prepare to leave or even reply to Kazama, Shiranui interceded. 'Well, don't complain if I burn your rice.' He began, obviously displeased that he was being asked to cook, but his distaste soon faded with his next words. 'And don't worry. We'll stay right here while you and Chizuru _practice her oni powers_. We wouldn't want to interrupt any of your important _lessons_.' He mocked, a smug expression forming on his face.

Kazama's eyebrows come together in a frown. I tried to prevent a blush from colouring my cheeks but it was futile. Not when I knew _exactly_ what he was implying.

Completely ignoring him, Kazama looked down at my reddening cheeks. 'Let's go.' He said, refusing to give Shiranui the reaction he'd wanted, but as I turned to walk away from the clearing I could see in Shiranui's eyes that it hadn't been Kazama's reaction that he'd aimed for.

Virtually dying inside, I followed Kazama obediently back the way we'd come.

We walked in silence for the first few minutes, back down the hill to a slightly lower clearing covered in more trees. It was even smaller than the one we were going to camp on tonight but it was far enough away from the others that we wouldn't have to deal with Shiranui's continuous suggestive glances or crude remarks. Ever since Kazama and I had kissed Shiranui had been unrelenting in his teasing, even going so far as to include Kazama in his witty jabs. But it was always me he'd strive to get a reaction from.

I was still blushing when Kazama finally broke the silence. 'I forgot to mention that there has been a change of plans.' He said, peering down at me. He continued just as I began to frown. 'Amagiri has offered to leave after dinner to continue to Aomori. He will arrive there tomorrow morning and will inspect the houses available for short-term rent. This means that when we arrive tomorrow evening we will hopefully already have a house waiting for us. It saves us having to rent an inn for the night.' He revealed.

I was a mix of surprised and unsurprised. Amagiri had probably volunteered to go ahead in order to make everything more convenient for us. I couldn't deny I was eager to have my own house and privacy earlier than expected, away from the loud atmosphere of a bustling inn.

Once he saw I'd understood his words, he kept talking to keep the conversation going. 'So how are you feeling, Chizuru? About reaching Aomori.' He posed curiously, walking slow enough that I caught up to his side.

Caught off-guard by his question, I gave a short response. 'I'm a little nervous I suppose. I just don't want to wait too long to find a boat.' I admitted, kicking a stone as we came to a stop underneath a large tree.

Kazama's hands tightened momentarily on the hilt of his katana. 'Well I suppose you shouldn't fear for those dogs' safety if what Hanami said was right. If she predicts they were safe then they shall remain so. To my distaste.' He sighed, his lips twitching as if he couldn't understand why anyone would want to wilfully be in their company.

I lowered my eyes, ignoring his comment. 'It's been so long since I've seen them.' I said almost to myself, not acknowledging his insult. I didn't want to go on too much about how excited I was to see their faces or how much I'd missed their presence. I longed for things to go back to how they were before the war, to the days where we'd eat together and laugh and go on patrol in the streets of Kyoto. I wanted that so much. But I had to admit I wanted Kazama to be somewhere in that scene as well.

Kazama merely grunted, a twinge of jealously tainting his souring expression, but he quickly disposed of it. 'I see. Well, if you wish to remain among those dogs then you need to be able to defend yourself as it's evident they can't do it.' He sighed with disdain before continuing. 'But you've done well over the past fortnight in your swordplay which gives me reassurance that you will be able to protect yourself if need be. But for now let's focus on honing a new skill. Sit down.' He ordered nonchalantly, gesturing to the grass.

I did as he asked instantly, sinking down onto the ground and crossing my legs. I liked to think I'd gotten pretty good at using my abilities over the past few weeks. Even my swordplay had improved dramatically, mainly because we'd practiced so much over the last fortnight but unfortunately I hadn't managed to win against him yet. Or at least not a genuine win. I could tell that even after all this time he was still going easy on me.

And now he was apparently going to teach me a new skill. I already knew what that meant.

Unable to contain myself, I couldn't help but speak as he sat down. 'Are you going to teach me how to use my forcefields?' I questioned, peeking at him demurely as he settled.

The expression on Kazama's face immediately said it all but he answered me anyway. 'Indeed. I believe you are ready. You have a good enough grasp on how to use your other powers that this is naturally the next step.' He confirmed, watching me practically bounce up and down in excitement. A delirious smile spread across my face even though I tried to hide it.

Kazama watched me smile for a bit, his eyes warming, until he snapped back to reality. 'But listen carefully. The reason why I made you learn the other abilities first is because they teach you how to control your power. You've grown quite adept at manipulating your energy to go where you want, such as when you want to use your oni strength or change into your oni form. This control is imperative for forcefields because you can only maintain them if you understand how to control your energy. But forcefields are different to the rest of your oni powers because you don't control the energy when it's _inside_ of your body, but when it's on the _outside_. You have to draw the energy out past your skin and into the air which makes it harder to manipulate. This why I made you learn the other abilities first. You could not have learned how to use your forcefields before you'd changed into your oni form for the first time, despite how intent you were on forcing me to teach you anyway.' He remarked, smirking slightly.

I blushed, remembering how I'd pestered him at the start of the journey to teach me the harder abilities such as forcefields and speed. I hadn't understood back then what I did now about the need to work your way up. I hadn't understood that every ability was a stepping stone to the next.

Kazama chuckled at my embarrassment, reaching out to grab my hand. 'But for tonight, my eager bride, I shall teach you how to summon an unrestrained forcefield. These can be used to share small amounts of energy with other onis but should not be used very often. Skilled onis can steal your energy when it is outside of your body; in addition, using forcefields drains you very quickly. Anyway, restrained forcefields do not have to maintain a shape and can flow freely so this means it will be easier to keep a grip on, but still it will not be easy. Are you ready?' He asked, taking my other hand as well.

I gave him a shy glare at his 'eager bride' remark but nodded. 'I'm ready.' I said, my heart beating fast with anticipation.

Kazama flashed me a handsome smirk at my acceptance. 'Good. As always I will demonstrate first. Sit still.' He ordered, lowering his eyes to the ground as he began to concentrate.

I was so excited. I was nervous too, as it had been an unrestrained forcefield that had changed me half into my oni form when we'd met each other again in Ikedaya. That night I'd been frightened half to death, questioning what I was and what had happened to me, and it was so strange to reflect back on my fear. The fear that I no longer had, the fear that was now replaced by intrigue.

It was at that moment that a flash of blue caught my eye, just a spark. My eyes darted to the source of the colour and latched onto a single fleck of blue beginning to swirl around us. Eventually it was joined by another spark, and another, and another, until right before my eyes tendrils of electric cobalt were dancing around us.

My lips parted in astonishment at the sight. The tendrils grew larger and larger, beginning to sweep off the loose leaves on the ground, and I looked around briefly to see they had cast a blue glow on everything close to us. My hair was beginning to whip around my face from the gravity of the small blue tornado forming around both our bodies but I wasn't scared like I'd been in Ikedaya. I'd never be scared of this again.

Just as I reached out to touch it, Kazama lifted his eyes. He didn't protest as I dipped my fingers into the swirling ribbons of blue, smiling to myself as I noticed that it was slightly warm and tingled against my skin. It was beyond amazing to see this again and it was only now that I realised how truly beautiful it was. I couldn't wait to do it myself.

Suddenly Kazama squeezed my hands, redirecting my attention to him. 'This is a basic unrestrained forcefield.' He said, speaking slightly louder to be heard over the sounds of the rustling leaves being shifted in the trees hanging just over our heads. 'You can change its speed and size at your own will if you know how to. But before I'll teach you how to do that, I'll teach you how to do this.' He said, keeping his eyes fixed on me.

Just as he finished speaking, the blue of the forcefield grew hotter. For a second I thought it was beginning to burn me, but even as I pulled my fingers away the sensation still lingered. And I knew I'd felt this before.

He was changing me.

Gasping, I was taken by surprise as the brown in my hair began to evaporate and was replaced by platinum white. I could barely breathe as my claws sprouted from my fingers and my ears began to tingle as they grew elfin points, my oni fangs forming in my mouth too. As my eyesight grew sharper it reminded me of how much I loved being in this form. I hadn't assumed it in so long.

As soon as my transformation completed, the tendrils dulled a little bit. I looked immediately to Kazama and saw he was staring at me with a crimson fire in his eyes, much like the first time he'd ever seen me in this form. Normally I would have been unable to bear the intensity for more than a second at a time but on this occasion I couldn't look away from him, not even when his forcefield finally began to fade.

Kazama let my hands go as the last of the blue dissipated into nothing, causing the leaves to rain down on us like snow. I realised promptly that as soon as the forcefield had disappeared so had my oni form and it was only due to luck that I was able to see the last of the white drain from my hair.

Once everything had settled, Kazama leaned back on his arms. 'And now for you.' He began, still looking at me like I was in my oni form.

I fought the giddiness in my stomach and sat up straighter, wondering if I'd be able to concentrate with him staring at me like that. 'Ok. So what do I do?' I asked.

Kazama took my hands again, his touch warm and light. 'Take a hold of your energy then guide it up towards your skin. However, instead of letting it go like you would to change forms keep a grip on it and try and draw it out from your flesh and into the air. This will be more difficult than you're used to so it may take a few attempts.' He warned.

I nodded, closing my eyes to concentrate better. I'd gotten pretty efficient at controlling my power so far so I was determined to succeed. If there was one thing Kazama had taught me on this journey it was that I could do anything if I put in the effort so I knew this was no different.

As soon as I searched for my energy I found it. There was so much gold buzzing inside me, swirling around lazily and no longer shy to be utilised. When I'd first started to learn my oni powers my energy had tried to fight me but now it was complacent. It didn't shy away when I reached for a tendril, plucking it from the darkness and lifting it up towards my skin.

I brought it up to my flesh, pausing in preparation, before I pressed it hard up against my skin to try to force it past the surface.

And just like that, the tendril slipped from my grasp.

I frowned, opening my eyes just in time to see Kazama smirk. 'I told you it would be difficult.' He said, knowing exactly what had happened. Even in simply trying to push the energy out past my skin I'd lost my grip on it.

Kazama encouraged me to try again. 'Do it once more. This time focus even harder on maintaining a grasp on your energy.' He guided.

Nodding, I closed my eyes. My energy was still there inside me, settled peacefully in the darkness, and it let me take a strand without much resistance. When I brought it up to my flesh again I paused for even longer. I made sure I was concentrating as hard as I could, clutching it with as much mental force as possible, and once I was ready I tried for the second time.

Thankfully I didn't lose my grasp on it this time, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get the energy to leave my body. On occasion I felt like I may have been getting close but even after several minutes it became apparent that this really was going to be difficult. More difficult than I'd predicted.

Opening my eyes, I let out a defeated sigh. 'I… I don't know how to do it.' I murmured, slightly disappointed in myself for being unable to fulfil this task. Normally by this time I would have made some progress but in this case I hadn't.

Kazama brushed off my self-doubt with another smirk. 'Well, if you feel as if you can't do it in your human form then you know what to do.' He hinted, regarding me smugly.

I knew exactly what I had to do. Well, what he _wanted_ me to do. He wanted me to change into my oni form.

I sighed, knowing he was right but unwilling to undergo his scrutiny. 'Ok.' I mumbled. It really was easier to use my powers in my oni form but it was just so difficult to concentrate when he was staring at me like his prey. I would have thought that after these past few months he would have seen it enough to not look at me so ravenously, but unfortunately that was not the case.

When I grabbed another strand of energy, I brought it to the surface of my skin again. However, instead of trying to break it past my flesh I let it go, feeling the immediate heat spread throughout my body. My blood started to fizzle, spreading throughout my body with each beat of my heart. My claws were the first features to emerge, then my pointed ears and my fangs. My hair turned white shortly after just as my skin grew smoother and began to glow, emitting a small amount of light into the darkening forest. And once my eyesight sharpened I knew my eyes had changed too, from brown to rose-gold.

I let out a deep breath once my transformation had completed itself, pushing a strand of ivory hair behind my ear. 'I'll try again.' I announced, speaking more so to break the silence than to let him know what I was doing. It was almost painful to sit here silently with him while his eyes were looking at me so… _hungrily_.

Kazama said nothing, merely leaning back on his arms again. His eyes were half-lidded and on fire, glowing with a brilliance to that of the setting sun. His expression conveyed that he was waiting for me to try to once more to initiate a forcefield but his eyes told a different story. They told me what he was thinking about. Or rather, how I was making him feel.

Swallowing, I shut my eyes and tried to block out his presence. Once I'd done that it was relatively easy to find my energy and grab a strand, directing up towards my skin. I was pleased to discover that my grasp was even stronger on my energy than before and I could feel the difference in my strength too. Being in my oni form made everything clearer, my mind sharper, and so when I pressed my energy against my skin I didn't let it go.

Frowning with my eyes closed, I tried to force the tendril out into the air. Similarly to last time it was not an easy feat, nor was it as easy as I'd hoped it would be in this form. But after minutes of patience and many attempts I began to feel my energy piercing through my flesh towards the outside world.

Suddenly I felt a strange sensation, like a rush of heat leaving my body. I immediately opened my eyes just in time to see a single golden spark form in the air around me, beginning to spin lazily around my body.

I gasped, raising to my knees in glee as I realised I'd succeeded, but before I could get too excited Kazama grasped my hand. 'Concentrate, Chizuru, or it will disappear.' He urged, forcing me to sit down properly again and regain composure.

I quickly did as he said but I couldn't stop the elated beating of my heart, nor could I bear to shut my eyes again.

Slowly, I began to start feeding more energy out into the air. I had to manually push each strand out past my skin and so the process was a lengthy one, but the more I did so the easier it was. I was focusing so hard on not losing control of my power that sweat had begun to form on my temple but I ignored it and concentrated on growing my forcefield.

As the minutes passed, it was large enough that it started to gather the loose leaves left on the ground from Kazama's forcefield.

I smiled at my accomplishment, shifting my eyes to Kazama. He had a faint smile on his face too as he watched gold ribbons swirl around us, proud even though my forcefield was nowhere near as stable or bright as his had been. The tendrils of energy were a little shaky and much slower than his, some of them starting to droop or fade. But I kept a tight grip and refused to let them go, even when my sight began to grow fuzzy.

Eventually Kazama raised his hand, gesturing for me to stop. 'You can let it go now, Chizuru. You've done well.' He said, noticing that my smile was turning to a grimace the longer I maintained the forcefield.

I relinquished my grip and the gold vanished, one strand at a time. The relief I felt as soon as I let them go was immense, so much so that I let out a deep sigh and slouched. I hadn't expected such a feat to be so taxing on my body. It was much harder than any oni power I'd used so far.

Kazama watched me wipe a bead of sweat from my forehead. 'It takes a lot of effort to maintain a forcefield as I see you've noticed. It will get easier, of course, but as a race we have been taught never to rely on our forcefields for battle or protection. They can be useful as you saw in Yamamura when we passed under the waterfall but they drain you very quickly and could leave you very ill.' He forewarned, picking up my hands once I'd rested them in my lap.

I looked up at him, exhausted but satisfied. 'I didn't know it would be so difficult. I can't believe I summoned one so large when I got hit by the arrow.' I noted, thinking back to the start of the journey when we'd been attacked by bandits. The forcefield I'd created then had been massive, so strong that it had lifted every particle of earth from the ground and stripped the trees of their leaves when it had exploded. And here I was, struggling to maintain one a few metres in circumference.

I could see that Kazama was picturing it too as he responded. 'It was because it was a reaction to pain. You didn't have control over your power then, but perhaps in the future you may be able to summon one that large again. That's rather unsurprising considering your natural affinity for your oni powers. There's no denying you are of pure blood, kitten.' He purred, running his thumb over my hand.

I fought the urge to both frown and blush, instead giving him an unimpressed glance. He'd recently returned to calling me kitten again.

Seeing I wouldn't speak, Kazama chuckled. 'Anyway, I can still see you're fatigued from the lesson already so I won't teach you how to change me into my oni form. Instead I want to show you something else.' He said, inciting my curiosity.

I relaxed back onto the grass, narrowing my eyes slightly. 'What?' I inquired, letting Kazama pull me closer. My heart started to beat faster behind my breast as he brought us knee-to-knee, refusing to let go of my hands. I was ashamed at hoping that by some miracle he'd kiss me again and perhaps for a second I saw he wanted to, but he didn't.

Instead he gave me a smug smile, leaving an unsated desire festering in my body. 'It's a surprise. When you're ready, summon another forcefield like the one you did before.' He instructed mysteriously.

After briefly eyeing him suspiciously, I did as he asked. Once I closed my eyes I delved deep within myself to where my energy was located, observing the strands of gold and deciding which one to pick. I picked the brightest one, bringing it up to my skin and preparing the mental energy I needed for the feat I was about to attempt, and then finally I tried to force it past my skin.

It was unfortunately just as difficult before. I fought against frustration and fatigue as I attempted to coerce my energy out into the tangible word, visualising it swirling around me in threads of gold. I didn't stop not even as sweat gathered on my temples again and my breathing deepened, nor did Kazama stop me, but I knew that if he knew just how tired I was getting he might do just that.

So in one last frantic effort, I pushed the energy out from my body.

As soon as I felt it draining from me I expelled a sigh of both relief and weariness. When I opened my eyes I could see the gold ribbons of my energy beginning to twirl around our bodies and I hoped that Kazama's 'surprise' was coming soon because I didn't know how much longer I could do this. It was proving to be more draining than before.

It was then that I noticed another colour forming in my forcefield.

I frowned, squinting to see the new sparks forming amongst the gold ones, but it didn't take me long to realise what they were. Before I knew it Kazama's electric blue strings of energy were forming amongst my own, joining the whirling tornado that was slowly forming around our bodies. Each time the gold and blue energies collided there was a moment where they seemed to merge together, changing to blinding white, and after a while I could barely feel my fatigue anymore. I was transfixed by the sight before me, mystified by the scene and also by what it perhaps signified. Our colours complimented each other perfectly, just as we perhaps did.

All of a sudden Kazama's tendrils faded and he turned from them to face me. 'Ok, Chizuru. That's enough.' He said, noticing that I was going pale.

Snapped from my trance, I was only too relieved to let the energy return to my body. My gold tornado dissipated without a second of delay and I let out a deep breath the fold disintegrated, leaving behind only a few gold sparks until they too disappeared. I was so proud of myself for manifesting my forcefield but I also knew I wouldn't be able to do it as often as I used my telepathy or oni form. It would probably kill me.

I wiped the sweat from my face, pushing my hair back. 'What did you do?' I asked, curious as to what the point of that exercise had been.

Kazama continued to idly caress my hands in his own. 'I joined my energy with yours. I've told you before that onis can share small amounts of energy with other onis and they can also use this energy to fortify each other's forcefields. It doesn't do much in regards to an unrestrained forcefield, but if I had have combined our energy in a restrained forcefield then it would become much stronger.' He explained.

I nodded slowly, wondering how long it would be until we could test it again. 'Is it harder to summon a restrained forcefield?' I asked, dreading an unfavourable answer.

Unfortunately Kazama's answer was indeed unfavourable. 'Technically yes. Restrained forcefields require you to keep your energy still so that it forms the shape you want it to. In the next few days I will begin to teach you the basics, such as creating small spheres or cubes of energy, but you will not master it probably for another few years even if you practice every day. Even I have trouble holding a restrained forcefield for more than a few minutes at a time.' He said.

I was a little discouraged but I supposed it could have been worse. At least today I'd managed to summon something that resembled a forcefield. I would have been crushed if I'd summoned nothing at all.

Kazama must have noticed my slight disappointment from the look on my face. 'Do not fret, kitten. I told you this wouldn't be easy. You should be proud that you managed to do what you did today as not many can conjure a forcefield during their very first lesson. It took me two weeks of practice before I could do it for the first time.' He stated, raising my clawed hand to kiss it.

I couldn't help but be flattered. Kazama, who prided himself on being strong and powerful, had taken two weeks to learn what I'd done in half an hour. No wonder he always went on about how remarkable it was that I'd learned by oni powers so quickly. I couldn't imagine how frustrating it would have been to not be able to learn even the basics of an oni ability after two weeks of continual practice.

I blushed as his lips brushed against my skin, forcing myself to speak. 'When… when did you start learning?' I asked, lost in the way his irises swirled with molten heat.

Kazama pulled his lips from my hand for long enough to give a reply. 'I was 14 when I began my oni training. Almost 66 years ago, long before you were born.' He said simply, kissing my hand once more before bringing it back down to rest on his knee. 'By that stage I was already quite adept at swordplay but my oni powers didn't start to manifest until that age. My father made me practice them every day until he was confident I'd be able to defend myself.' He said.

Hearing Kazama talk about his age was surreal. It was still so strange to think about how he was so much older than me. Almost 80 years ago, merely two decades from a century… it was crazy.

It was then that I remembered what Amagiri had told me months ago; Kazama's birthday. Apparently it was on the first day of autumn which was rapidly approaching. In fact, it was next week. September 1st. I wondered if we'd be in Aomori still or if we'd already be in Ezo together, but either way I already knew I wanted to do something special for him. I didn't know what yet or how I'd organise it but it was the least I could do especially since he'd given me something on my own birthday. And turning 80 was a lot more momentous than turning a measly 21.

I lowered my eyes to look down at our hands, our fingers intertwined. 'Did you ever have to use your oni powers? To protect yourself in your village?' I asked, wondering what kind of dangerous would have been in such a hidden place anyway.

Kazama shook his head, swirling his fingertips over my palm. 'No, not in the village. But once I was 16 my father started to properly train me to replace him as clan leader so by the time I was 25 I had assumed most of his duties. It was then that I began to go out on patrols and check for human interference near our village. A few times I came across some bandits but there was never anything that really warranted the use of my oni powers. Our lives were peaceful in Akimura and they still are. I only really came to rely upon my oni powers during this war.' He revealed.

I was pleased to hear that his life had been peaceful in his village. 'So what exactly were your duties as clan leader? Would they have been similar to mine?' I asked. Even though technically Kaoru would have been clan leader I was still curious to know what a clan leader's duties were. Still to this day I didn't really understand what it meant to have such a title.

Kazama chuckled, evidently amused by my curiosity. 'Your duties and mine would have been similar, yes. The safety of your people is always number one priority. As clan leader I was expected to patrol the village perimeter weekly and check for any signs that humans had breached our territory. It was also my responsibility to ensure we all had enough food and fresh water. In addition, I had to handle all internal issues of the village such as thefts or instances of misconduct, which were rare but occurred nonetheless, and deal with them accordingly. But perhaps the most crucial role of clan leader was to be a teacher. It was my duty to instruct the children of the village how to use their clan power, as it would have been yours to do in your clan should you have been leader. This is the case for all clans.' He said, the last rays of fading sunlight dancing across his face.

I admired how they tinted his skin gold, setting his eyes ablaze, but my curiosity was strong enough to push past my admiration. 'So the parents don't teach their children how to use their clan powers? Like, at all?' I questioned, finding it odd that one clan leader would have to teach possibly hundreds of students.

Kazama shook his head, seemingly oblivious to the sunlight shining directly into his eyes. 'Why would they? Their responsibility as parents is to guide the development of their lesser and middle powers. There is no one better suited to teaching their children than the most powerful in the clan. Which in Akimura's case, is me.' He said with pride, his smugness beginning to resurface.

I resisted the urge to sigh or roll my eyes, instead humouring him with another question. 'So how do you manage to teach all of those people? How many are there?' I asked, to which he gave an immediate response. 'The number fluctuates from year to year but there are definitely a few hundred or more. As we are not a primitive race, Chizuru, we do possess schools and it is there that I hold lessons up to five times a week, sometimes more. It is certainly a busy job but I'm looking forward to you sharing the burden, since you will one day possess my power as well. Perhaps you'll surpass even me.' He purred, his eyes twinkling.

I managed to send a feeble glare his way before I had to avert my eyes. 'Well…' I mumbled, struggling to find a retort. 'Let's just see about that.'

Kazama chuckled, entertained by my stubbornness. 'Well, kitten, if the past two weeks have told me anything it's that you may just leave with me from Ezo after all. What a pleasant surprise that would be for your samurai dogs.' He chuckled.

I was struggling to decide whether I was more embarrassed or annoyed. Kazama had increased his jesting in regards to my softening towards him during the past two weeks and it made me feel self-conscious. I knew he was just being him but at the end of the day it had taken all my courage to show him how I felt two weeks ago, to kiss him, and I was disheartened that not even something like that was exempt from his taunts. Not to mention, I disliked it when he talked about the Shinsengumi like that but it was becoming more and more difficult to be truly angry with him, especially after the change in our relationship over the past two weeks. But I _was_ annoyed that he'd teased me about my recent complacency. I was annoyed because he was right.

Pouting, I couldn't help but retaliate. 'Don't call them that, Kazama-san.' I mumbled, wanting to leave before he became even more unbearable. 'Now let's go back. The sun is setting and you said we'd be back within the hour.' I mumbled, desperate to get back to the others before Kazama unleashed his full mirth upon me.

But he didn't want to give up just yet.

Smirking, he grabbed my hands once more. 'And so we shall. But an hour has not yet passed and I wish to spend some more time in your company _without_ Shiranui's incessant remarks. I'm sure you would agree since they seem to affect you more than me.' He noted humorously, tugging me back down to sit before him.

I pulled my arm away from him, blushing despite my sour expression. 'Your remarks are much more unbearable than his, I'll have you know.' I said matter-of-factly. My defiant side was beginning to show as it usually did when Kazama provoked me and it was always a bad idea. Kazama revelled in talking to me when I was like this because he knew that no matter how much I argued he would win. He would _always_ win. And he adored making me squirm in the process.

His lips twisted into a haughty smile and he raised an eyebrow at me. 'My remarks only bother you because you find them endearing, Chizuru. If only you could see your flushed cheeks.' He provoked, his fingers darting out to press against my blush.

I immediately pushed his fingers away, already aware I was losing but unable to back down. 'Don't touch me.' I mumbled, but I couldn't say anything else. Perhaps there was some part of me that did find his comments endearing but right now I was mortified.

Kazama, of course, didn't stop touching me. 'Come now, Chizuru.' He sighed, amusement still dancing in his eyes as I tried to stand up. He tugged me back down to sit in front of him again, meeting my stubborn eyes with smug ones, and for a moment there was a silent dialogue between us that said more than if we had have chosen to speak. Even though his expression was haughty, his grasp on my hands were soft and almost pleading. He didn't want us to go back yet. And to be honest, neither did I.

I sighed, my meek eyes shifting to reprimanding. 'Fine. We can stay for a bit longer as long as you don't tease me. About… about us.' I murmured, embarrassed by having to say it.

Kazama paused at my request, watching me with his hawk eyes as my demeanour changed from agitated to embarrassed. He was analysing my emotions, picking up on clues as to how I felt, but it wouldn't have taken a genius to realise that when he teased me about my complacency it was a little different to when he teased me about everything else. Whenever he made comments about my softening resolve it was almost like he was making fun of how I felt about him.

'Chizuru.' He said all of a sudden, and I was surprised to hear that all the mirth had drained from his voice.

I could only bear to look up at him for a second but it was just as he started to speak. 'Although I may tease you about our changing relationship it doesn't mean I take it lightly. I never have and never will. You of all people know how long I've waited for something like this to happen between us.' He said, straight-faced despite saying something so sensitive.

I didn't say anything in response, stunned into silence by how forward he'd been. I was surprised that Kazama had attested so openly to the importance of our relationship. He rarely said things so raw, letting me see clearly that he meant it, and I could see he was telling the truth. Even though he did tease me I knew that our relationship, whatever it was, had been something he'd wanted for a long time. We'd grown close to each other over the past few months and we had come to rely on one another's presence. I could really see in his expression that he treasured that as much as I did.

Suddenly he took my chin into his fingertips, struggling to get my eyes to meet his. 'Does it really trouble you when I make such remarks?' He questioned, trying to get me to face him.

Eventually he succeeded and I blushed as our eyes met. 'Yes. It does.' I mumbled, refusing to elaborate.

He regarded me blankly for a while before he sighed. 'Very well. I suppose if my comments truly vex you then I can try and control them. But you don't make it easy for me. It's almost irresistible to tease you when you make faces like _this_.' He said light-heartedly, reaching up to press against my furrowed brow as if to smooth it out.

I flashed him a warning glare which he countered with a mischievous twist of his lips. 'See what I mean?' He said, referring to the no doubt highly displeased expression on my face.

Sighing in frustration, I plucked my hands from his grasp. 'Do you see what _I_ mean?' I asked, taking a jab at him for teasing me just after he promised me he wouldn't.

I folded my arms across my chest and looked at him sourly, which only seemed to encourage him. 'I said I would try to minimise my teasing about _us_ , not about anything else.' He countered, smirking at my retort. 'But for now I suppose I will stop. In fact I wouldn't mind heading to the mountain side to watch the last of the sunset. Care to join me?' He asked, beginning to rise.

I wanted to punish him for teasing me by saying 'no' but truthfully it sounded really nice.

Sighing, I grabbed his hand and let him help me off the ground. 'Fine.' I muttered like I was heavily inconvenienced . But we both knew better than that.

Kazama didn't bother hiding his cocky smile. 'Good. We shall go somewhere a little further away so we shall travel there with oni speed. But we better make haste or the sun will set before we arrive.' He announced, insinuating that he would have to pick me up. I was still in my oni form so I knew he was going to enjoy it a hundred times more than usual, holding a white-haired me in his arms.

Nodding in defeat, I allowed him to scoop me up against his chest. I could feel the tautness of his muscles and the warmth of his body behind his shirt as he held me against him, further exacerbating the already crushing need I'd developed for him recently. His scent was so intoxicating, his grip on me so gentle, that I eagerly settled against him without a word of complaint.

Kazama sensed this too but he didn't mention it. 'Before we leave, actually, I want you to make sure your oni sight is activated while we travel. You will understand why when I start to move.' He said, looking down at me humorously.

I was curious but obliging, wondering what would happen. 'Ok.' I said, holding on to him tightly as he prepared to leave.

All of a sudden we had left the clearing, Kazama's speed carrying us far away before I could even blink. I expected to once again be confronted with just a smear of colour, a blur of movement so quick that I'd eventually have to shut my eyes to prevent against dizziness, but as soon as we started moving I knew why Kazama had ensured I'd maintain my oni sight.

Everything was… crystal clear.

Even as we moved at the speed of light my surroundings were as crisp as if we were standing still. I could still feel the pressure of our speed and feel the wind tearing through my hair but I could see perfectly when I looked up at Kazama's face. Normally his features would be a blur but in this case I could see every detail of his visage, such as the soft curl of his lashes and the way his fringe was swept back with the wind. And when I looked at his eyes I finally understood how an oni could move so fast and yet know exactly where they were going.

It was due to oni vision! His eyes were the same volcanic gold of his oni eyes, blinding me as I looked up at them. I realised that every time he ran so fast he would activate his oni vision so he could see properly and once he had stopped moving he would deactivate it so quickly that I'd never noticed. It was so obvious now.

My attention was redirected once we broke past the forest and out onto a small cliff ledge. We were still facing the ocean and were a little lower down than our camping spot but we were somewhere we wouldn't get interrupted by a certain pair of onis.

Once Kazama came to a stop, he put me down. 'Do you understand now?' He asked without hesitation, his eyes still orange-gold.

I couldn't help but smile, brushing back some hair that had come loose from my bun. 'I can't believe I never figured it out. All this time I thought you were seeing a blur too.' I said, realising how dumb that was. If he'd been seeing a blur too then we would have crashed into numerous trees during all the occasions he'd used his oni speed with me in his arms.

Kazama chuckled, amused by my revelation. 'Well, now you know another reason why I couldn't teach you oni speed before you'd learned to activate your oni vision.' He highlighted, reminding me of how impatient I'd been when we'd first started our lessons.

I couldn't help but smile again, even though he was making fun of me. 'Well, I know that now. You can't blame me for being excited.' I said, looking past him at the sun which was currently in the middle of setting.

Kazama stared out at it too after a while, gesturing for me to sit down with him, and I did. It reminded me of our first date when we'd watched the sunset together. This one was just as beautiful, sending rays of gold and orange in all directions and dying the ocean red. It was incredible, so incredible that I forgot there was someone next to me.

Kazama was silent as well. I wondered if he too was likening this moment to our first date, reflecting on how insanely different the two situations were even though they both involved watching a sunset. The first time I'd been nervous around him, scared even, and just being in his presence had been nigh on unbearable. But now we were sitting here in a comfortable silence, unsure about our relationship but knowing that it was more than just acquaintances now. Whatever we had become would only escalate from this moment forward and the thought incited both fear and excitement.

Unfortunately, it only took a few minutes before the sunset ended, sinking below the horizon and disappearing from view. Even after the reds and pinks in the sky were replaced with purple and navy Kazama and I continued to sit in silence, not feeling the need to speak even though the quietude had gone on for some time. This was something I loved about being with Kazama. I didn't need to speak all the time, I didn't need to fill in the silent gaps with noise. We could just sit together and still be at ease which was something I could never do with the Shinsengumi.

Suddenly Kazama turned his head to face me. I felt his gaze on my skin and I blushed, wondering if he was going to speak, but before he did he reached out his hand.

I stared at it, knowing he meant for me to take it. So I did.

As soon as we'd established contact Kazama pulled me closer to him so we were sitting side by side. He didn't speak for a while, instead just looking at me, and I found myself hoping with every bone in my body that he would touch me or kiss me. His gaze was setting me on fire, reminding me of how he'd looked at me after our kiss in the village and it sobered me to realise I needed him to look at me like that again. And he was, in a way, but he didn't want what I thought he did.

Speaking only after a lengthy pause, his request startled me. 'Sit in my lap.' He enjoined.

Taken by surprise, I automatically started to turn red. That had been the last thing I'd expected to come out of his mouth.

When I didn't react straight away, Kazama rolled his eyes. Before I knew what was happening he'd heaved me up off the ground and into his lap, pulling me back against his chest.

I squeaked, close to exploding with embarrassment, but I didn't make a move to get off him. 'Kazama-san!' I hissed, turning my head so I could see some of his face. He was so close and I immediately regretted looking at him from such a short distance. I didn't understand how even with my sharp oni vision I couldn't find any imperfections on his flawless face.

Kazama merely brushed off my scolding. 'Surely this is more comfortable than sitting on rock?' He assumed, raising an eyebrow at me, but I could see that he was very much enjoying this.

Grumbling to myself, I just did as he said. Deep down I'd always wanted to sit with him like this, with his arms around me and my head tucked under his chin. The chill in the air that had started to develop after the sunset was instantly negated as soon as I felt his warmth and after a while I found myself slowly growing less perturbed about our position. As my mortification began to fade I became even less rigid, sinking back into his body gradually until I was so relaxed I could have fallen asleep.

Just as my eyes started to grow heavy, a warm had slid through my hair. 'To think that tomorrow is the end of our journey, Chizuru. We've been travelling so long it's hard to imagine anything different.' He murmured against my ear, giving me goosebumps.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. 'Yeah.' I murmured, finding it hard to talk with his breath in my ear. 'It's been a really long time.' I sighed. It was a little upsetting to hear Kazama remind me that the journey was ending because it meant that soon he was going to leave me to go back to his clan. I wasn't sure how long he'd be gone for but I knew it would be for a long time. Several months, at least. Perhaps a year. Perhaps more.

Dismissing that unnerving thought, I chose to spoke again. 'You know how you asked me earlier how I felt about reaching Aomori?' I murmured, sensing his nod from behind me. 'How… how do you feel about it? About the journey coming to a close?' I asked.

I hadn't really asked him this question before but I was more than mildly curious. Was he excited? Relieved? A little disappointed? Or was he a mix of everything like I was? Kazama was generally a hard man to read so the only way I could obtain clues in regards to how he felt about the journey was to ask him directly.

Kazama paused the stroking of my hair, much to my subconscious disappointment. 'I'm… unsure.' Was all he said.

I paused, finding it odd that Kazama would be unsure about anything, even his own feelings.

He elaborated when he noticed that I'd found his answer unsatisfactory. 'On one hand I am relieved as this marks not only the end of our journey but the end of the war. It has been many years since I have been in the human world and I've grown weary of it, as I'm sure you know. I am eager to return to my people but…' He trailed off, letting out a heavy sigh. 'But it will not be pleasant to leave you here, Chizuru. I'm not looking forward to that.' He mumbled.

I blushed, touched that he would admit something like that. It was humbling to hear that Kazama had come to depend upon my presence so much that he didn't want to leave me. Some part of me wished I could go back to his village with him, the part of me that didn't want to be apart from his side, but I knew that I belonged in Kyoto. At least for a while.

Sucking up my pride, I raised one of my arms to slip around one of Kazama's, the one holding me around my stomach. 'You know, Kazama-san…' I began, glad that I was facing away from him so he couldn't see my red face. 'I know I've thanked you a few times for accompanying me on this journey but… I really do appreciate everything you've done for me for the past few months. I thought I could have gotten to Ezo on my own but I understand now that I really couldn't have. And you've taught me so much about myself and my heritage, things I would still be unsure about had I stayed in Kyoto.' I said quietly, my voice mingling with the wind in the trees behind us.

Kazama was silent, allowing me to continue. 'And I know I've done some… uh, dumb things, but despite that.. I've really enjoyed travelling with you. I wish we had more… more time.'

I was so embarrassed by the end of it that I felt like I was dying, but it had needed to be said. Even the last sentence. Because I meant it. I really did wish we had more time until we reached Aomori, before we reached Ezo and then things grew complicated with the Shinsengumi and he'd have to leave. It was a shame that I didn't have even just a few more weeks of travel with him where we could work out what exactly was going on between us. If I left him now then I'd have so many unanswered questions, so much curiosity and doubt residing amongst the rest of the emotions raging inside me.

Suddenly Kazama's arms tightened around me, securing me in his embrace. 'We have all the time in the world, Chizuru.' Was all he said.

And I realised he was right. He and I really did have all the time in the world, to do whatever we wanted, to get whatever we needed to get off our chests. We had centuries to work out how we felt and to make our own decisions.

He and I were immortal.

Resting my head back against his shoulder, I swallowed the lump in my throat. I tried to imagine what it would be like to still be alive a few hundred years from now and where we both would be but it was a hard thing to fathom. Immortality was still a very foreign concept to me as I'd grown up as a human.

Kazama's slender fingers reached up to lazily trace the curves of my neck, sending spark of pleasure down by body with each stroke. 'I suppose I have to thank you as well.' He sighed, his voice rumbling in my ear. 'Without you I would have been quite bored. Not to mention I would have had to bear with Shiranui's appalling cooking skills.' He finished, his words equal parts serious and humorous.

I had to smile at that. Shiranui really was a horrendous cook and unfortunately Amagiri wasn't that good either. It was a miracle they'd survived travelling together for so long without one of them dying of malnutrition.

I replied as Kazama's fingers lingered on my neck, making idle circles on my skin. 'And don't forget to thank me for all the times I've saved your life. I even cured you of poison.' I added mindlessly as his touched drew me into a pleasant yet heated daze.

Kazama paused his ministrations as I perked in interest. 'You cured me of poison?' He hummed, his lips brushing against my ear.

My face heated up, as did my body as I felt his mouth on my skin. Kazama was still unaware that I'd kissed him with blood on my lips to heal him of poison back in the village. I'd had no choice but to kiss him since that's how my father had done it but that didn't mean I wanted Kazama to know. I hadn't intended to keep it a secret from him forever but I also hadn't intended for him to find out so soon.

I licked my dry lips, believing that he already knew what I'd had to do. 'Well, I'd had no choice. You know what I had to do to cure you, just as my father did to save my mother. It was the only way I knew how to heal you.' I murmured, already getting defensive as I prepared myself for his taunting.

However, I was met with a strange silence. I could sense Kazama's mind ticking over in thought as he processed my words and I held my breath and waiting for the mocking to begin, but it didn't come.

'Wait…' He suddenly said, after a minute of silence. 'You did what your father did to cure your mother? You kissed me?'

Much too embarrassed to answer, I ignored him as he nudged me. He twisted his head around to look at the side of my face, finding his answer in my red cheeks and strained expression, and for a while he just stared at me as he registered what he'd learned.

But before I could prepare myself for what was to come, I felt the vibrations of his beginning laughter.

Kazama settled back again, pulling me back against his chest. 'You kissed me in my sleep, didn't you? With blood in your mouth. No wonder I had such a sweet taste on my tongue when I awoke.' He chuckled, tucking my head back under his chin again.

Tensing in his arms, I refused to humour him. 'Why are you laughing? I did it because I had to.' I muttered, cheeks flaming as he continued to chuckle behind me. I was so mortified that he found it so amusing and it made it worse knowing that he was even more amused by my reaction. I wasn't embarrassed that I'd had to kiss him; that wasn't the issue. The issue was that he deemed it worthy to tease me about.

Kazama's chuckling only grew stronger but he paused to sigh, combing a strand of hair behind my ear. 'As much as I appreciate the action, you should know that you don't need to kiss people to cure them.' He revealed light-heartedly, raising an eyebrow at me as I turned to face him with a frown. 'All you needed to do was get me to ingest your blood. Your father only kissed your mother as a romantic notion, I presume, and as such it has no bearing on the success of your healing abilities. Next time you need to heal someone of poison keep this in mind unless of course it is me again in which case feel free to do what you like.' He chuckled, his eyes ablaze even though it was now getting quite dark.

I was so humiliated. Now that I thought about it, it didn't really make much sense how a kiss could be a factor in an individual's healing. But it really wasn't my fault that I didn't know and in the moment I'd been so frantic with stress that I would have tried anything to save him, including kissing him even if I'd known it was irrelevant.

I grumbled something incoherent, letting go of his an arm in a show of defiance. 'I didn't know that. I did what I thought I had to.' I grumbled, to which he responded by picking up my hand and holding it. 'I know you didn't know, Chizuru. And I am grateful that you did it to cure me. But I suppose that means our first kiss wasn't really our first kiss, was it? Although I'm sure our second one was a lot more exciting anyway.' He purred into my ear, smiling obnoxiously against my skin.

The combination of his voice in my ear and his jesting was enough to cause my cheeks to sizzle. I didn't respond straight away because I couldn't, stuck in a silence borne through embarrassment and irritating desire. Even though he was being incredibly irritating he still had this way of making my body ache, especially with his lips against my ear, and that only fuelled my internal frustration.

Sensing I wouldn't respond, he decided to seize the opportunity. 'Is there anything else you wish to tell me, Chizuru? Any other peculiar things you've done throughout the journey without my knowledge?' He stirred, amused at the pout he saw on my face when I briefly shifted my head to glare at him.

Narrowing my eyes, I pulled my hand out of his. 'No, there's not. And even if there was I wouldn't tell you, especially if I might receive a reaction like _this_.' I huffed.

Kazama couldn't conceal his pleasure at my discomfort, not that he was trying to anyway. 'Come now, Chizuru. I do so in jest. Now stop looking at me like that.' He provoked, raising a hand to cup my face.

My expression soothed at his touch but my frown didn't disappear entirely, not until I'd turned back around again. As soon as he couldn't see my face anymore I let the displeasure dissipate. He was so infuriating, more than anyone I'd ever met, but he had this way of extinguishing all my anger and vexation with a simple touch. And that's what he was doing now as his fingers began to idly trace the tendons in my hand, his warmth heating me right to my centre. It was so hard to stay mad at him.

Cursing my weak resolve, my attention shifted to the moon. It had started to peak up from the line of the horizon, bright and full, tainting everything around us in silver. It made my hair and skin shine brighter too, since I was still in my oni form, and even Kazama's skin seemed to glow as well. It was so peaceful here.

Suddenly he sighed, a sigh filled with disappointment. 'We should go back, Chizuru. Almost an hour has passed and there may yet be some time for you to salvage dinner.' He said, his lips twitching in amusement.

I smiled too but deep inside I just wanted to stay here with him. I wouldn't have minded skipping dinner or sleeping on bare rock tonight, as long as I got to remain in his company. Who knew how long it would be until we got time alone after this evening. Starting from tomorrow all four of us would be living in the same house.

Kazama slipped an arm under the back of my knees, putting one around my back as he lifted me up too. I let him do as he wanted as he got to his feet and prepared to use his oni speed, his orange-gold eyes still activated from when we'd first arrived here. I stared up at him for as long as possible before I couldn't anymore. His eyes were too powerful, as were the emotions they created in me.

But before we left, he brought me tighter against his chest. 'Hold on, Chizuru.' He said. And I did.

And with that, we disappeared from the clifface.

* * *

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	48. Housemates

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* * *

 **Housemates**

Nothing could describe the feeling I got when I took my first step into Aomori.

As soon as I'd entered the city it was like a massive burden was lifted off my shoulders. I kind of wanted to cry. I felt as if the moment deserved it, like I'd just achieved some great feat that I'd been striving for my whole life. In total it had been almost half a year since I'd seen the Shinsengumi and I'd been travelling for the better part of that. So many weeks, so many days and nights, and so many experiences I'd had while on this journey. So many things I'd discovered about myself.

And so many things I'd discovered about Kazama.

He and I were strolling into the main section of town with Shiranui by our side. Amagiri had been instructed to meet us by the pier at late afternoon in order to share his house-finding success and we'd left the horses at a nearby stable. As Kazama had warned, Amagiri had left late last night well after the sun had set and had been expected to arrive in Aomori during mid-morning. I really hoped that he'd managed to secure us a house because I was beyond exhausted. Now that I was here it felt like the past few months had finally caught up to me and all I wanted to do was sleep.

As we meandered through the streets of Aomori I couldn't help but to be captivated by how different it was to all the other cities I'd visited. The gravel lining the roads was white and laden with sand carried in from the beach. The houses were made of a pale white wood, perhaps birch, and the air was clean and crisp despite the lazy afternoon heat. Even the people appeared different, with slightly bronzed skin and light freckles caused no doubt by working for long hours fishing in the ocean or working by the pier. Even though we weren't yet at the ocean's edge yet it was blatantly clear this was a shipping and packing city as there were crates and boxes strewn around even in the middle of the city. It was different, but it was pleasant.

However, I hadn't been in the city long before I'd realised that nobody seemed to approve of our uniforms. So far everyone who'd crossed our paths had stared at like we something they didn't understand, probably because these clothes reminded them of the war that had passed through not too long ago before moving on to Ezo. We probably should have changed into our Japanese clothes before entering the city. More than likely, we hadn't done so because Kazama didn't care what people thought of him.

He was walking beside me calmly, ignoring the stares from everyone as we passed. He seemed pretty collected even though inside he must have been relieved to get to Aomori after all these months, but I also remembered his confession from last night.

 _I am eager to return to my people but it will not be pleasant to leave you here, Chizuru. I'm not looking forward to that._

Maybe he wasn't as keen on arriving in Aomori as I was, especially because he was delivering me to another man. It made me uncomfortable thinking that possibly that notion hurt Kazama. Maybe he was so sour about Hijikata because he was jealous, which was undoubtedly part of the reason, but I soothed my guilt by acknowledging that we'd likely still have some time in Aomori before we had to depart. Seeing as though this was the last time I'd see him for a long time I made a subconscious promise to give him my full attention until that day.

Suddenly Kazama turned down to face me, ignoring Shiranui's presence. 'The pier is just over there. If Amagiri has managed to find a house then soon you will be able to get some rest.' He said, sensing my growing restlessness.

The prospect of rest was so blissful that I almost collapsed. Every second that passed felt like another ton of fatigue lumped upon my shoulders.

I nodded, silently relieved. 'I hope he's found something.' I murmured, just as we came around a bend in the street.

Whatever Kazama was going to say in reply was cut short when we saw the beginnings of a shipping yard in front of us. Breaking past the last of the buildings, we stepped straight onto decking that stretched out to the water's edge. From there was a long pier also made of wooden decking, stretched out many metres into the ocean with all sorts of boats moored to it. I couldn't help but wonder if it would be any of these boats that would take me across to Ezo. The majority appeared to be fishing boats.

Before I could begin to stress too much, a flash of red hair caught my eye. Amagiri was standing at the beginning of the pier already looking in our direction and I noticed that he was standing amongst two large boxes. One came up to his knees and the other he was holding in his arms, large enough that it could have fit a whole manner of things inside it.

Despite my curiosity I automatically smiled at him even as I approached. He smiled back, a friendly smile that eased my growing uneasiness. There was something about Amagiri that was so calming, even way back when we'd first began the journey.

When we came to stand in front of him, Amagiri had only just bowed when Kazama asked what we'd all been waiting for. 'Were you able to find a house?' He questioned, red eyes intense yet patient.

Amagiri looked from Kazama to Shiranui and I before giving his answer. 'I have. It's located to the south of the city near the ocean.' He said.

I slumped my shoulders in relief, accidentally sighing audibly, but Kazama was too intent on Amagiri's answer to notice. 'I see. Well, in that case we shouldn't waste any time. Judging by what I see before me I presume you have collected the delivery I had sent here. And an extra one.' Kazama remarked, frowning at the larger of the boxes Amagiri was standing next to.

I frowned too, confused by what was happening. Kazama had a package sent to Aomori? When and where from? And where did the bigger box come from if he hadn't sent it?

Amagiri nodded, staring down at the packages. 'Indeed. I collected your package from the postal service as soon as I arrived. And this one here,' He began, '…is from Sen. To Chizuru.'

I was so shocked that I gasped, my hands raising to cup my face. Sen had sent me something?! From Kyoto?

Before I could run over to the box and tear it apart, Kazama let out a hefty sigh. 'Did she send half of Kyoto in this box?' He grumbled, looking at it with disdain.

I disregarded his comment as I bent down to look at the shipping label, noticing it did indeed come from Sen. 'Can I open it?' I asked, peering up at Amagiri while struggling to contain my elation. I was beyond excited to receive something from Sen after all these months. She must have estimated when we'd arrive in Aomori and sent a package here knowing it would be eventually collected. I could see a special instruction written on the box to keep it unopened and secure until it was collected.

Unfortunately, Kazama was not as keen as I on the idea. 'Wait until we arrive at the house, Chizuru. Whatever it is it will undoubtedly be something pointless. You can open my package then too, since it is also for you.' He said, his eyes narrowed as they looked down at me.

For a second I considered if he was a little jealous that I was more excited over Sen's package than his, but I was much too overwhelmed to care. Instead of complaining I stood upright again, so desperate to arrive at the house that I went to pick up Sen's package myself.

Amagiri stopped me, placing his hand on it. 'Don't trouble yourself, Chizuru-sama. Shiranui will carry it for you.' He said, not looking up at Shiranui who was frowning at being made to be a pack mule. But everyone knew there was no way Kazama was going to be carrying _anything_ from Sen, even if it was intended for me.

Shiranui mumbled something most likely crude before he bent down to pick up the massive box in his arms. I had no doubt that he was secretly using his oni strength because I'd noticed when I'd tried to pick it up that it had been unexpectedly heavy.

Smiling at him, I was practically bouncing from foot to foot as we began to walk back down the pier. 'Thanks, Shiranui-san.' I said, to which he acknowledged my gratitude with a tilt of his head.

Even if Shiranui had been intending to reply, Kazama's next words would have interrupted him. 'So where is this house? I trust it's in good condition.' He voiced, officially ignoring the presence of Sen's package.

I too looked at Amagiri with curiosity as he answered. 'It's only a few minutes' walk from the inner city. It has a garden and high walls so it will be private and secure, and the sea is visible from the windows in the second story. It will be sufficient.' Amagiri said confidently. I already knew that it would be if Amagiri had chosen the house. Kazama wouldn't have entrusted anything with house-hunting unless he knew they were going to secure something adequate. He certainly wouldn't have sent Shiranui.

Smiling to myself, I fantasised about having my own private bedroom and a garden again. It was still so surreal that we had finally arrived in Aomori and that we could be staying here for a while together. At least I knew we'd be staying here in comfort instead of in an inn. Although inns were nice in the short term it was never a pleasant experience to stay in one for more than a few consecutive days. A house was going to be much better long term and if what Amagiri said was true then I wanted the bedroom with the ocean view!

It took me a while to realise that Kazama was staring down at me as I smiled. As soon as I noticed I frowned, getting self-conscious as he raised an eyebrow at me. He didn't say anything straight away but I could tell he had been analysing the joyful expression on my face.

Suddenly he reached out to take my hand, intertwining our fingers. Immediately I felt his mind brush against my own, requesting entry into my head, and I only too readily let him in. It had been a while since we'd used our telepathy and I definitely missed it although I wasn't sure what Kazama was going to say now that a connection had been established.

His voice was deep and warm in my mind as he spoke. _You're not smiling about the package from that wench, are you?_

I frowned at him, his language dampening my mood. _Don't call her a wench_ : I began, giving him a glare. _And I am happy about the package. I wasn't expecting to receive something from Osen-chan, or you for that matter_. _What is it?_ : I asked, shifting my eyes to the package Amagiri was holding.

Kazama ignored everything I'd said about Sen, especially the part where I'd told him off. _You'll see what it is_ : he said mysteriously, leaving it at that before he continued. _In any case, today you may do as you wish. Tomorrow Amagiri and I will begin to search for a passage to Ezo. You may stay at home_ : he said.

I nodded, but I didn't really mind helping out. _Are you sure? I could accompany you?_ : I offered, only realising how much pleasure Kazama drew from my words when I saw a smirk form on his face. He looked down at me, inciting a blush on my cheeks. _As much as I would appreciate your company, Amagiri and I will be more than capable of fulfilling this duty. You may stay at home and babysit that idiot_ : he said, shifting his eyes to Shiranui. He was still scowling from having been made to carry Sen's heavy package.

I couldn't help but smile, although I did feel bad for Shiranui. _Very well, Kazama-san_ : I conceded.

After that, Kazama and I sunk into a long but comfortable silence. I still couldn't believe that after all these months, after all the blood, sweat and tears it had taken to get here, it was hard to believe that I was finally so close to the end. The journey, although not yet completed, was more or less over now that we'd reached this destination. I was only a short boat ride away from Ezo.

Suddenly Amagiri stopped, turning to face a tall wooden fence.

I stopped too, looking up to see a moderately sized building looming over us. The fence was so tall that I could only see the top floor of the building and the branches of a large tree spilling over the edge.

Was this our house?

Amagiri answered my question when he pushed the gate open, letting us inside, and I was the first to move through. I couldn't stop the smile that graced my face as I saw the small but quaint front garden, complete with a large tree in the far left corner, a bench and a small herb garden. It wasn't as large as the garden I'd shared with my adoptive father or at the Shinsengumi headquarters but it was definitely luscious.

Shifting my attention to the building, I remarked that it was of medium size. It was made of pale blond wood like all the other houses although it still retained the classic Japanese architecture. It had a small porch and a hanging lamp beside the door.

It was beautiful.

Barely able to contain myself, I hurried up the pebble path to the steps onto the porch. 'Is it already open?' I questioned, going to slide open the front door before anyone had answered my question.

The door slid open and the scent of pine greeted me, and from behind I heard Kazama's boots step onto the porch behind me. 'Go inside.' He urged, gesturing for me to enter.

I didn't need to be encouraged.

Stepping inside, I drank in the interior of the house. It was white wood like the outside and very spacious, with the living and dining room in the same area. To the right was a hallway to the kitchen and the staircase, in addition to the bathing facilities. There was also a large door at the back of the lounge area which lead out to what I guessed to be another miniature garden.

Kazama's sigh dragged me out of my awe. 'It will do.' He noted, looking around at the house with indifference, although he seemed to be pleased. 'Now, Chizuru. Let's go upstairs.' He finished, looking down the hallway where the staircase was.

As I made my way down the hallway to the stairs, all I could think about was claiming the room with the ocean view. Kazama followed behind me at a steady pace, watching me bound two steps at a time in order to get to the top as fast as I could. When I finally emerged onto the top floor, I noted there were only four doors. Four doors for four bedrooms.

Without hesitation, I opened up the door that would be facing the sea. 'I want this one!' I exclaimed, stepping into the room.

And sure enough, the sight of the ocean greeted me through the window.

Kazama just rolled his eyes. 'I presumed as much. Here.' He said, motioning for Shiranui and Amagiri to place down the two boxes onto my floor. I dumped my bag down as well, my fingers already twitching in preparation to open them.

Kazama stopped me, however. 'Wait for me to put my belongings in my room.' He said, cocking his head towards the other three doors.

Supressing a pout, I followed him back out of my room. Shiranui was already sussing out all of the bedrooms, of which there were two on the opposite side of the hallway and then one right at the end. I was the only room with an ocean view.

Kazama began inspecting every room as well, finally claiming the one directly opposite mine. 'This will suffice.' He said, pushing the door open as wide as it would go. I could see straight through his window and out onto the city, noting that his view was beautiful as well. Although not as beautiful as mine.

Shiranui chose the room at the end of the hallway, leaving Amagiri with the one next to Kazama. 'Well. I've lived in worse places.' Shiranui said, throwing in his saddle bag onto the floor of his bedroom. 'At least now that I have my own room I won't have to listen to Chizuru snore anymore.' He chuckled, his eyes darting to me to catch my reaction.

I went bright red, clenching my fists. 'I don't snore.' I protested, giving Amagiri an injured look too as I noticed he was also amused.

Kazama smirked, enjoying my embarrassment, but he didn't comment on it. 'Do you find this place suitable?' He asked, gesturing lazily to the house we were in.

I nodded, a blush still dusting my cheeks. 'It's beautiful.' I said.

Kazama seemed pleased, and he turned to face Shiranui and Amagiri. 'You both may do as you wish for the rest of the afternoon. Tomorrow Amagiri will accompany me to source a boat, and _you_ will stay here with Chizuru.' He said, narrowing his eyes at a very displeased looking Shiranui.

I looked at him apologetically, but Kazama reattracted my attention when he turned around to face me. 'Now, do you wish to open your package from me?' He asked, deliberately refusing to acknowledge that I had one from Sen as well.

I nodded enthusiastically, already stepping back inside my door. 'Yes!' I exclaimed.

Kazama gave one last look to the two male onis before he followed me into my room.

I knelt down beside both packages, running my hand over the fabric that had been used to bind them. I really had no idea what to expect from either of them but I could barely contain my excitement to open Sen's. It had been so many months since I'd spoken to her and I had no clue what she was doing or if she was ok. Already I found my fingers reaching for her package, ready to tear the box open.

However, Kazama's warm hand stopped me. 'Mine first.' Was all he said.

I tried to stifle an irritated sigh, but I capitulated none the less.

Kazama watched patiently but intently as I started to tear the folds open. I couldn't imagine anything that I'd need so desperately here in Aomori that he would have it shipped here. The only thing I could think of was if he'd arranged to have some of my belongings posted here, providing we might be staying for a while, but I doubted it. Kazama was the type of man that would just buy me everything brand new rather than give me old stuff.

When I flicked open the lid and stared inside, the first thing I saw was a deep purple cloth. I ran my hands over it, over the delicate embroidery, and I couldn't help but think it was familiar. I felt like I'd seen this before.

And when I realised what it was, I turned to face Kazama with surprise. 'This is the kimono I wore on my birthday!' I exclaimed, turning back to face the expensive cloth with awe. This was the kimono that I'd worn at the village on my 21st birthday, when Kazama and I had attended the festival. It was the same day he'd given me the moon charm for my bracelet.

And sure enough, underneath the purple kimono was the orange one I'd worn the day before that.

Kazama chuckled, pulling it out of the box for me and gracefully refolding it. 'Indeed. Do you remember scolding me because you wouldn't be able to take them with you when you left the village? Well, I already knew that. So I organised for them to be sent here.' He said, handing me the orange one.

I placed it with the other kimono and sighed. 'Yes, I remember.' I began, giving him a sheepish look. 'Thank you, Kazama-san.' I finished.

Kazama smirked, reaching back into the box. 'You forgot something.' He remarked, passing me the small dome that I hadn't seen inside.

And I knew exactly what it was. It was the lipstick he'd made me wear on my birthday.

Blushing, I took it off him and placed it with the kimonos. 'Well. I won't be wearing _that_ again.' I mumbled, closing the box up again and pushing it to the side. Kazama just smirked, his eyes brimming with satisfaction at my displeasure. 'We shall see about that, dear bride. But from now on you must wear a kimono instead of your travelling clothes. You shouldn't attract any unnecessary attraction, although I'm sure you will turn a few heads wearing either one of those.' He remarked, pointing to the elegant kimonos sitting beside my thighs.

I sighed, flashing him a glare. 'And I'm sure you'll have something to say about that.' I countered, suggesting that if he noticed any other men paying attention to me then their heads wouldn't just be turning. They'd probably be severed.

Kazama's only response was a smirk of agreement, but his pleasure soon dissipated as he saw me reaching for Sen's package now that his was discarded. The only thing that stopped him from leaving the room was his pride, which demanded to confirm that anything Sen had sent me was of less value that what he had sent.

Placing my hands on the box, I smiled giddily as I practically ripped it open.

The first thing I saw was a heavy velvet pouch. It was sitting on top of some emerald green fabric and was tied with a golden cord. As soon as I picked it up and felt its weight I knew that it was money, and I was both humbled and embarrassed that Sen was sending her money to me. I still hadn't used any of the coins she'd given me before I left Kyoto.

Kazama knew what it was too, and he scoffed. 'She should know that I can provide for you.' He muttered, perhaps insulted, but I just rolled my eyes. 'But she also knows that you don't let me buy anything for myself. I presume this is what the money is for.' I jabbed, ignoring it when he narrowed his eyes at me.

When Kazama didn't retort, I reached into the box for the next item. It was the emerald green cloth embroidered with gold thread, and when I pulled it out I realised it was also a kimono. It was every bit as beautiful as the ones Kazama had given me, with a darker green obi and a golden hairpin tucked into the folds of fabric. Underneath the emerald kimono was another one with a similar style of embroidery, but this one was plum coloured. Hidden amongst the clothing folds were two bottles of perfume.

'Wow.' I breathed absentmindedly, as I placed the items with my other kimonos. I couldn't believe Sen had sent me such beautiful clothes! Not even she wore kimonos like this, except on special occasions.

Kazama was finding it hard to bite his tongue. I could see from the strain on his face that he wanted to lash out and criticise her, or the kimonos, or anything, out of jealousy. But instead he simmered away in silence and watched me unpack the rest of the box.

Finally I came to the last section, which appeared to be food. She'd sent me dried meat, fruit, tea and herbs, in addition to a range of condiments such as salt, garlic flakes and wasabi. Sen knew how much I loved cooking and she was making sure I had enough of all of my favourite seasonings. Already I was thinking of all the amazing food I could prepare with what she'd given me, especially now that I had a proper kitchen.

Searching around inside the box for anything that I'd missed, I found two small envelopes tucked against the side. One was addressed to Amagiri, and the other to me.

 _To my dear Chizuru-chan:_ the second one read.

As soon as I saw the cursive strokes of her handwriting, I was overcome with such a potent wave of homesickness that I felt tears form in my eyes. It was only now that I was staring down at her gifts and holding her letter in my hand that I became aware of how much I'd missed her presence and her guidance. For the past few months I'd always tried to suppress all the times I'd desired for her to be here too, but it seemed this had been all that was needed to tip me over the edge.

Suddenly I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. 'Don't.' Was all Kazama said, as he noticed my eyes were filling with tears.

I looked up at him with increasingly puffy eyes to see a mix of gentleness and pity on his face. He sighed at my wobbling lip, pressing his thumb to it in order to stop it from trembling. The gesture was enough for me to reel myself together again, although only just.

I sniffed, letting out a shaky sigh. 'It's just… it's been so long.' I murmured, holding the letter to my chest.

Kazama's watched me with a seemingly blank face, but as always he didn't enjoy seeing me upset. 'You'll be able to return soon, Chizuru. There is only a short while left.' He said matter-of-factly, but I could tell he was trying to comfort me.

Offering him a small smile to acknowledge his effort, I pressed my hand to the one on my face. 'I guess you're right.' I murmured. If I'd gone all these months without breaking down then I could survive the last few weeks. If it was even going to be that long. For all I knew Amagiri and Kazama could find a boat to Ezo tomorrow.

Once I calmed down, Kazama removed his hand. 'I will leave you now, Chizuru, and I will see you later on in the afternoon. I'll pass this on to Amagiri.' He said, picking up the letter that Sen had addressed to him. It was still so surreal that Sen and Amagiri were courting. I'd almost forgotten.

I nodded, smiling. 'Ok, Kazama-san. I'll see you soon.' I said.

As soon as I'd given him permission to leave, he raised himself off the floor. I watched him walk past me with one last look before he disappeared through the door frame, closing the door behind him.

And just like that I was alone.

I let out the breath I hadn't known I'd been holding, caught in my throat from the look in his eyes, and then I peeled the letter off my chest. I really hoped that she was alright and this letter didn't hold bad tidings. I wondered if I'd be able to write and send a reply as well, despite the distaste Kazama would exhibit at me sending her any correspondence in return.

Sighing at the thought, I finally opened the letter.

 _To my dear Chizuru-chan,_

 _If you are reading this letter then it must mean that you have arrived safely in Aomori. I hope that the journey you've undertaken wasn't as unbearable as we both first predicted; after all, you have just spent the past few months travelling with that bastard. If I find out he's done anything to you then he shall have hell to pay, or worse. I still can't believe I let that jerk travel with you._

 _Anyway. I do pray that you liked the gifts. I had those kimonos custom made just for you, and I handpicked those dried herbs and roots from the garden here as I know how much you like my Ginseng plant. If anyone could put these ingredients to use I know it's you, although it's a shame I won't be there to sample your cooking. That is something I am very much looking forward to when you return home._

 _Speaking of returning home, I hope that you will chose to stay with me when you return to Kyoto. Providing the Shinsengumi are safe and well, which I truly hope they are, I think we can both agree that is not appropriate for a young lady to reside with so many single men-_

I paused there to sigh. This lecture was not an uncommon one whenever I was with Sen. She'd never truly approved of me staying with the Shinsengumi, although she'd allowed it because she'd known I'd be safe.

I resumed reading from where I'd left off.

 _-so it's for that reason that I'm offering you a permanent room at my estate. I hope you will choose to accept it. I will also arrange for you to begin oni lessons if you wish, as I believe it's time for you to learn more about your kin. I must apologise for not allowing this sooner, Chizuru-chan, but I would be more than willing to be your teacher if you would have me. Lastly, I wanted to offer one more thing. Kimigiku and I feel as if you would be a perfect candidate for my personal assistant. Kimigiku is willing to provide you with the necessary training, and perhaps in time (and if you desire) you will take over many of her administrative duties. It would mean so much to me to have you by my side at meetings and formal functions, and for you to provide me with counsel when I need it, and of course you shall be paid well! I will explain everything in more detail when you return to Kyoto but for the meantime please give it some consideration._

 _But that's enough of those matters for now. I want to let you know that I miss you dearly and I can hardly wait for you to return home! I have so much to tell you but I'm sure that's nothing compared to what you have to tell me. I want to know everything about the journey and how it's been and what exciting things transpired during your travels. I am sure you have many stories to tell and I am eager to hear them._

 _Please also give that letter to Amagiri. I have told him to make sure he takes good care of you and protects you from that blond creep. If you need something then don't hesitate to ask him for it, although I am certain you have been doing so anyway as surely you cannot go to Kazama for anything useful. Ugh._

 _Anyway, I hope to see you soon! Stay vigilant and away from Kazama, and you'll return to Kyoto unharmed._

 _Sen xx_

I dropped the letter into my lap, shaking my head lightly with a small smile on my face. I could only imagine what she'd do if she found out how I _really_ felt about him. Or what we'd done. Twice.

Leaning back against the wall, I mulled over what I'd read in her letter. I was glad she was safe and that nothing bad had happened. I was also humbled that she'd not only offered me a permanent place to stay but a job as well! I'd never had a proper job before, one that I'd gotten paid to do, and working as the personal assistant to the oni princess was no small deal. I knew from watching Kimigiku that the role of a personal assistant was varied and diverse and so I'd probably get to do lots of things.

I also wondered what she'd think of me already having a pretty good grasp on my oni powers. I predicted she'd be a little conflicted about it because although I did know how to use almost all of my oni powers, I only knew how to do so because of Kazama. And judging by the content of her letter, her distaste for him was only growing stronger.

I folded her letter back up again and slipped it into the folds of the kimonos on the ground, resting my head back against the door frame. Now that I'd settled into the house and read her letter I had the rest of the afternoon to myself. All I wanted to do was sleep. I had no energy to move or eat even though I was hungry.

And so instead of getting up and finding something to eat, or finding Kazama again, I simply closed my eyes.

* * *

 **Ending note**

 **And that's all for the mini-chapter! I really wanted to put a touch of Sen in at this point in the story, just to remind Chizuru and the readers that there's a life for Chizuru outside of the journey. Please tell me what you think!**

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	49. Autumn leaves

**Yo guys, sorry for the long wait! I've officially graduated from Uni which is nice but now I have to find a job which is less nice : ( Anyway thank you for all the amazing reviews (of which there is almost 400 of, whaaaat). I really do appreciate each and every one and they ALWAYS help me to get into a writing mood. Thanks so much for the support xx**

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 **Enjoy the chapter and please review! xx**

* * *

 **Autumn leaves**

'Finally.' Shiranui sighed, looking idly at the village scape with his hands on his hips. 'I'm free of that bastard.'

I rolled my eyes at his remark, which was evidently referring to Kazama, before I turned my attention back to the streets of Aomori. Shiranui and I had been instructed by Kazama to carry out the grocery shopping. I didn't doubt that Kazama had never performed such a menial task in his life but I wasn't too dejected about his refusal to join us. That was because he and Amagiri had left to carry out something even more important today.

They'd gone to source a boat.

I drew in a small breath, pausing by Shiranui's side. 'You're not free of him yet, technically. Not until I'm in Ezo.' I reminded him, before beginning to walk down the street and away from our house.

Shiranui grunted in displeasure but he followed me. 'I'll take any time away from him that I can get. Although I must admit the past few months haven't been as bad as usual because _you've_ been taking the brunt of his attention. Before you, he spent the better part of 7 years being a royal pain in my a-'

'Shiranui.' I interjected, cutting him off before he could continue his sentence. He just looked at me sheepishly and I couldn't help but hide a smile. I didn't blame him for being so frustrated because Kazama was indeed someone who could be frustrating. I always forgot just how long they'd been in his company for.

Shaking my head, I changed the subject. 'Anyway. Kazama-san gave me a list of things to get from in town today. He said he'd be back in time for lunch but he'll be leaving again shortly after to continue the boat search.' I said, pulling the grocery list from the sleeve of my kimono. I hadn't opened the piece of paper yet but knew already that it would be lengthy, knowing Kazama.

Shiranui shoved his hands in his pockets. 'Let's get it over and done with, then.' He said.

Although Shiranui seemed irate, I could tell he was actually relieved to be out of Kazama's presence for a while. He'd been tasked as my babysitter while we were in Ezo which he hadn't been pleased about but I could tell he was enjoying the laxness of the duty. After all, I wasn't hard to look after, although Kazama might say differently.

I blushed as I thought of him. It was still so surreal to think of how we'd changed since the start of the journey. It was now mindboggling to me how I'd been so scared of him at the start, how I'd failed to see who he really was. In my defence, Kazama had masked his true self by arrogance and short-temperedness. But now, I could tell he'd really opened up to me and he was doing it more and more each day. He was still a little mysterious, of course, but I realised I kind of liked it. And now that we were living together and in a stable location it was possible that our relationship might develop even more.

Suddenly I heard someone snap their fingers.

'Earth to Chizuru.' Shiranui said, looking at me with a smirk on his face. He seemed amused that I'd dazed off and he probably knew the reason too.

I blushed deeper as I peered up at him. 'What?' I asked, absently reminding how comfortable I'd become around Shiranui as well. His smirk intensified but he didn't mention my inattentiveness. 'I believe we have entered the marketplace. Let's get the things His Highness needs and get going.' He urged.

I sighed at his urgency, pulling out the grocery list. When I opened it, I expected to see a list of a hundred things and strict instructions not to miss anything, but there was none of that. Instead, it wasn't even a list. On the piece of paper that Kazama had given me there was only a few words written in his beautiful writing.

 _Surprise me, dear wife. I shall see you when I get home._

That had been unexpected enough to catch me off guard. My heart skipped a beat as I read over his writing a second time, before I put the list back into the sleeve of my kimono.

I would never be able to understand how even a short note from him could make my heart pound in my chest. Even the way he'd said he'd see me when he got home stirred something inside me. Excitement, perhaps anticipation. It had been weeks since we'd been apart for much more than an hour at a time so even this morning without him had left me rather empty. It was strange to feel so… lost without him.

Shiranui was looking around at the marketplace when he spoke. 'So what does he want?' He asked, casually scratching his head as he processed the vast number of stalls.

I decided not to tell Shiranui about the true contents of the note. 'Uh… Just the basics. Meat, vegetables, noodles and rice. Let's go.' I said, gesturing towards the first of the stalls and Shiranui followed me without protest.

Suppressing the lingering butterflies in my stomach, I began to mentally prepare what we would be having for lunch and dinner over the next few nights. Now that I had a proper kitchen and food storage facilities I could now cook all sorts of delicious food I'd been unable to make on the road. Travelling meant it was hard to find and store meats and dairy products and so the majority of our meals had been vegetarian. All four of us were eager to start eating meat again.

While I was working out what to buy, Shiranui interrupted my musings. 'Well, I don't care what Kazama has on that list but I feel like some dumplings.' He said, eyeing the ready-made dumpling dough that one vendor was selling.

I smiled, more than willing to accommodate for Shiranui's tastes. 'Very well. What filling?' I asked, looking around the other stalls to see what they had. I wouldn't buy the dumpling dough because I was capable of making my own.

Shiranui shrugged. 'Don't care. As long as it's a dumpling.' He said simply.

I rolled my eyes at his lack of concern, but I was relieved he didn't mind. I knew I could make a dumpling out of anything, and perhaps I could make multiple types of dumplings for everyone. I remembered that Kazama really liked chicken dumplings and in fact I was pretty sure they were his favourite food. When we'd been in Yamamura he'd practically lived off them. Not to mention, the apparition of our daughter had also mentioned chicken dumplings were his favourite.

I lowered my eyes as I thought of her. Who would have known that a union between Kazama and I would produce something so beautiful.

Regaining my wits, I redirected my attention back to the real world. 'I'll make a few types of dumplings, then.' I said, and Shiranui followed me to the first stall.

It took about half an hour for Shiranui and I to source the basics in the market. By the time we were finished, we were each holding at least 4 bags of beef, chicken, fish, vegetables, fruit and noodles. There were types of fish I'd never seen before so I'd gotten some of those too. I'd paid for everything with the money Kazama had given me but I'd still brought my own money as well. To this day I'd barely spent any of it. Kazama rarely let me pay for anything myself.

Shiranui let out a big sigh, looking up at the bright sun. 'I suppose we're done, aye? We should head back.' He suggested.

I nodded, looking out over the village houses to the forest behind them. 'Ok.' I said, as I idly remarked the leaves were changing colour. It was autumn soon, next week in fact. I also hadn't forgotten what else autumn signified; it would be Kazama's birthday on the first of September. He would be 80.

I shook my head a little, lost in my own thought as Shiranui and I walked. I couldn't believe he was so old. Kazama and I had often spoke about his past but not enough for me really to know what he done for all the years before he'd entered the human world. What could one do for so many decades? Did he ever get bored? Would I ever get bored, living for so long?

I had so many random, unanswered questions, but there was only one main question on my mind at the moment. What would I get Kazama for his birthday? The charm he'd gotten me for mine would be hard to match. It was still there swinging from my bracelet, the diamond facets catching the light.

My musings was interrupted by Shiranui who had turned to look down at me. 'You really do space out a lot. What do you even think of?' He asked, smirking when I gave him a sharp glance. Although I'd never say it to his face, Shiranui and Kazama had more in common than they'd both like to admit. Especially the pleasure they drew from vexing other people.

Sighing, I thought maybe Shiranui could help me. 'Well… I'm actually thinking of what I can get Kazama for his birthday. It's next week, isn't it?' I inquired, deciding I better confirm it with someone.

Shiranui grunted, unapologetically uninterested in the change of conversation. 'I suppose. Maybe you should get him a change of clothes, since he's been wearing the same haori and yukata for the past 7 years?' He suggested sarcastically.

I clicked my tongue at his mirthful tone, but I couldn't help but think he may be onto something. 'That's actually not a bad suggestion.' I noted, mostly to myself.

I used to make my father a haori and yukata set for his birthday every year. Why couldn't I do that for Kazama? If I bought all the fabric and worked on it every day then I could get everything done in a week for sure. And I could even use the glow in the dark spider thread that Yui had given me all those weeks ago in Yamamura.

Shiranui shrugged, obviously not expecting that his sarcastic answer would be the one I needed. 'Glad to be of assistance, not that he really deserves a birthday present.' Shiranui mumbled as we meandered down the street.

I smiled at Shiranui's obvious dissatisfaction, peering up at his scowling face. 'Well, when's your birthday?' I asked, half expecting him not to give a straight answer. He was also like Kazama in the way he preferred to be shrouded in mystery.

Shiranui's scowl lessened but he kept his eyes on the path ahead. 'It's at the end of spring. But I don't celebrate my birthday.' He said, which made me frown. The end of spring? We had been travelling at the end of spring!

I let out a deep sigh, almost exasperated. 'Why didn't you say anything?' I said, shifting the grocery bags around as they started to get heavy, and all my comment was met with was Shiranui's expression of amusement. 'No need to make a big deal out of something that's not a big deal. It's just like any other day. Especially when you're immortal.'

He had a point. That's why Kazama had probably not mentioned his birthday to me yet; because age means little to an oni who had already lived for 80 years. And he probably didn't want to remind me once again that there was a 59 year age gap between us, not that it bothered me anymore. It used to. But it didn't now.

'Well,' I began, shrugging. 'I like celebrating birthdays because they signify the day someone was born, that they're alive. Not that they're getting older.' I said, quickly continuing before Shiranui scolded me for being too philosophical. 'But you should have told me about your birthday anyway. I could have made _you_ a yukata and haori.' I joked, gesturing to his classic outfit; pants, a tight black vest and a green scarf. There wasn't much change between those clothes and the Western clothes he'd been made to wear for the past few months.

Shiranui seemed to shudder at the idea of wearing traditional clothing. 'Nah. But speaking of haoris and yukatas, here's your opportunity.' He said, pointing over to something as we rounded a corner.

My eyes followed his line of sight to a group of stalls and shops. They were selling a whole manner of accessories such as jewellery and clothing, but the thing that Shiranui had directed my attention to was a small fabric shop. Outside the shop they had laid out a few fabrics for people to inspect if they were interested. There was a woman outside too. She was sitting down sewing something.

I turned to Shiranui. 'Do you mind if I check it out? I promise I'll be quick.' I said earnestly, pausing in the middle of the street, and he gave his answer by sitting down on the porch of a random house. 'I'll be right here, dying of boredom.' He said, knowing the complaint would get under my skin.

I just gave him a light hearted look, placing my groceries down beside him. 'I won't be long.' I said, smiling at him gratefully as I turned around.

It wouldn't take me long to go inside and find some fabric. Although I didn't know Kazama's measurements, I had enough money to buy enough fabric to ensure anything I made wouldn't be too small. All I needed to worry about was choosing a colour combination he would like.

As I approached the lady at the front of the store, she looked up at me. I smiled at her and she smiled back, and I saw she was sewing a pattern on a small kimono. It was probably for a child.

I came to a stop before her, just as she put down her sewing. 'Hey.' I said shyly, pushing some hair behind my ear. 'I was just, umm, wondering if I could have a look inside for some fabric for a yukata and haori?' I inquired.

The woman immediately got to her feet, smiling warmly. 'Of course you can, honey. Here. I'll accompany you myself.' The lady said, beckoning for me to follow her. She was in her mid-30s with medium brown hair and bright brown eyes.

I followed her gratefully past the stall and into the shop, where I was immediately greeted by hundreds of different rolls of fabric. Some rolls were of plain colours, some had patterns already sewn onto them and some were metallic. It had been quite some time since I'd made clothing for anyone else but just simply being in here was almost like a relief. I realised I'd missed the simple things whilst I'd been away, such as sewing.

The lady motioned to the fabrics around us, stored on shelves and laid out on tables. 'So, is this haori and yukata set for your husband outside?' She asked innocently.

I instantly went red, mortified that anyone could think Shiranui and I were married. 'Uh… no. He's not my husband. I'm making them for… another friend.' I stuttered, embarrassed that her comment had caught me so off guard.

The lady looked embarrassed too and she let out a nervous laugh. 'Oh, sorry about that. Well, in that case, here is everything we have. I'll let you have a browse around but I'll be right over there if you need me.' She said, giving me a short bow before moving over to the corner of the room.

I watched her begin to sort through a pile of fabric scraps before I turned around to face one of the shelves. Left to my own, I began to analyse the different colours to work out what would suit Kazama. I wanted to have a separate colour for the yukata and haori, something perhaps a little different to what I'd seen him in before. He really did suit the black and white combination of his current haori and yukata, though.

Sighing to myself, I looked around the room. My eyes naturally gravitated towards the warm colours. Maybe it was because he was blond, maybe it was because his clan power was fire, but whatever it was there was no denying he could pull off any shade of red, orange or pink. But would it be too predictable for me to choose red? It was one of his clan colours, after all, and perhaps he was sick of wearing it.

My mind shifted back to when we'd been in Yamamura, to when he'd come to my room in the morning and each day he'd be wearing a different colour. Greens, purple, oranges, yellows… but my favourite had been blue. It was so strange that someone with such bright features, red eyes and gold hair, could be so _elegant_ in such a calm colour. But he pulled it off well.

I rotated on the spot, searching for the blue fabric section, and I found it. I ran my hands over the different shades of blue; sky blue, navy, turquoise, among others, but I was instantly attracted to a roll of royal blue. It was like the ocean, not too dark and not too bright, a very fitting colour for a man with Kazama's features. And it would be a perfect combination for the silver spider thread.

The lady saw me eyeing the royal blue fabric and her voice snapped me out of my daze. 'Do you like that one? It's beautiful isn't it. It's a silk brocade blend so it's both soft and comfortable. And also quite warm.' She said, coming to stand at my side.

I smiled, running my fingers over it. 'It's perfect. I'll take some for the haori.' I said, happy with my selection.

The woman seemed overjoyed. 'Wonderful choice. And for the yukata?' She asked.

I bit my lip. I hadn't thought of that yet.

The woman saw my hesitation and smiled, turning to the darker fabrics. 'Might I suggest either a black or dark navy? We even have this special fabric here. It's what my husband likes to wear, especially with a black obi.' She said, pulling it out from the shelf and unravelling it. It was a dark charcoal grey. I couldn't deny it was beautiful.

I reached out to touch it, noticing it was just as luxurious as the haori fabric. 'It would suit the blue nicely. Thank you.' I said, lowering my hand.

The lady seemed pleased that I'd approved of her suggestion. 'You're welcome.' She said, bringing both fabrics to the main table.

Once I'd gathered everything else I'd need, such as the sewing needles, general thread, and the fabric for a black obi, I joined the lady at the table. She'd cut me more than enough fabric to fit a man as tall as Kazama. Everything was a little more expensive that I'd been hoping but I didn't really mind. This was my way of showing him that I appreciated everything he'd done for me.

When I'd paid, the lady wrapped up the fabric safely into cloth bags. 'So, what are you going to embroider onto them?' She asked curiously, her eyes still on expertly packing the goods I'd bought.

I blinked, entirely unsure. 'Uh…' I began.

I couldn't do snowflakes; I'd done too many of those in my life. I wanted to pick something that would mean something, something close to him. Maybe something that reminded him of me. Or of his home.

Smiling to myself, I took the bags off the lady when she handed them to me. 'I think I'll embroider autumn leaves. His birthday is the first of autumn, after all.' I said, surprising myself by how warm my voice became when I spoke about him to other people.

Whether the lady noticed this or not, I didn't know, but she responded nonetheless. 'It sounds beautiful, honey. He's a very lucky man to have such a pretty girl put in this much effort for a gift. I hope he likes it.' She said, following me to the door.

Humbled, my cheeks grew a little pinker. 'I hope he likes it too. And thanks for all your help.' I said, giving her a short bow, and she returned the gesture. 'The pleasure is mine. Have a great afternoon.' She said, waving as I left her side.

A blush still warming my cheeks, I made my way back to a very bored, very underwhelmed looking Shiranui. Although I hadn't taken a really long time I'd probably taken longer than I'd promised.

I jogged up to him, holding the bags of fabric to my chest. 'I'm sorry I took a little longer than planned. But I'm back now!' I said as he got to his feet.

He grabbed all of our groceries, already beginning to walk. 'These dumplings better be incredible.' Was all he said, giving me a cheeky sidelong glance.

I was relieved to know he wasn't angry, although Shiranui rarely was. 'I promise they will be. And also, please don't tell Kazama about this or how I know about his birthday. I want it to be a secret.' I requested, doubtful that Shiranui would have told him anyway, although I wanted to be sure.

All he did was nod. 'My lips are sealed.' he said.

* * *

It wasn't long before we arrived back at the house. Shiranui had insisted that he carry all the groceries back even though I was more than willing to share the burden.

'I'll open the door.' I said to Shiranui as we stopped on the porch. I was still holding the fabric though and I was pretty eager to hide it before Kazama saw what I was carrying. I didn't even know if he was home yet.

Shiranui moved to the kitchen without being told to. It was nice to have Shiranui here, I realised. Amagiri had always been the one I'd felt most comfortable around but I felt as if Shiranui was the most like me. He looked only a little bit older than I did, and he was always light-hearted and didn't take too many things seriously. Now that I'd gotten to know him, I enjoyed his company.

I put my first foot on the step, looking towards the kitchen. 'I'm going to put this in my room. I'll be right down again.' I called.

All I got was Shiranui's mumble of acknowledgement but that was enough for me. I took the steps two at a time, already planning to hide the fabric in my cupboard where Kazama couldn't see it.

I walked into my room, breathing in the fresh air, before quickly shoving the bag into my cupboard. There would be no way he'd find it unless he went rummaging through my belongings and I _hoped_ he had enough decency in him not to do that. Although he'd done it before, so I wasn't overly confident.

Suddenly I saw two hands come out of nowhere, trapping me against the cupboard.

I gasped in surprise, but it didn't take me long to realise who it was. The arms that had trapped me were clothed in a black haori and I could smell the earthy, spicy scent of his skin. Besides, there was only one man's presence who could give me goosebumps even when I was facing away from him.

Turning around, it was exactly who I thought it was. Kazama. In his traditional clothing and neck band, complete with a hunger in his eyes that I only saw when he was looking at me.

Trying to appear stern, I only just managed to meet his molten eyes. 'You… you can't just come into my room unannounced. And you shouldn't pin me like this either.' I chastised, trying hard to be angry at his invasion of my privacy but my attempt at frustration was feeble at best.

Kazama merely chuckled, not pulling his hands away from either side of my head. 'I commend your efforts to appear serious, Chizuru, but you of all people can't fool me.' He said, smirking at the growing pinkness on my cheeks.

I grit my teeth, but he continued before I could say anymore. 'Anyway, I'm glad to see you're back safe. It's a relief to know Shiranui can at least do _that_ right. Did you approve of the grocery list I gave you?' He asked, plucking one hand off the cupboard behind me to run down the side of my face.

I was disappointed in myself when my knees shook a little but I reeled myself in quickly. 'It was quite an.. _unhelpful_ grocery list, Kazama-san. But I got everything we'll need for a few days at least. Shiranui took it to the kitchen, so I should probably go down and help him…'

Kazama cut me off with a finger to my lips. The action caught me off guard but it also set my body on fire. Every time his skin made contact with my lips all I could think about was what it had felt like to kiss him, what it had felt like to feel so… _desired_. I'd originally thought maybe if I kissed him then the cravings for him would stop. But I'd never been so wrong.

Kazama's eyes burned into me, heated yet gentle. 'There is plenty of time for lunch, dear wife. First, I wish to spend some time with you in the garden.' He said, finally releasing me from his gaze and his grasp.

I stood up straighter, still shaken from the gravity of my emotions. But it was then that my mind became clear enough to remember why he'd been gone in the first place.

'A boat!' I exclaimed, looking up at him earnestly. 'Did you find one? Was there anyone going to Ezo soon?' I questioned.

Kazama frowned at the sudden change of conversation, but he answered me nonetheless. 'Unfortunately, no.' He responded, watching my shoulders slump in disappointment. 'But it is early days. There are still many more people to ask and I will persuade them if need be. So do not fret.' He assured me, reaching out to brush a strand of hair behind my ear.

I blushed, but I was confused at something he'd said. 'Persuade? I hope this persuasion of yours will be non-violent.' I said, hoping that his idea of persuasion wasn't the unpleasant kind. I know he could be ruthless if it was needed and I didn't want anyone getting hurt just to get me over to Ezo.

Kazama seemed injured at my accusation. 'Persuade with _money_ , Chizuru. Bribing. What manner of brute do you take me for?' He asked, perhaps rhetorically, but perhaps not.

I lowered my eyes, momentarily ashamed. 'Well… I was just making sure. That's all.' I mumbled.

Kazama sighed, taking my hand into his. 'I need not resort to violence, I am sure. Trust me that I will secure something in a peaceful manner.' He said, running his thumb over my hand. 'Now come. I believe it's time for a quick forcefield lesson before you forget what I taught you last time.' He said.

I smiled, pleased to hear we'd be practicing my oni powers today. 'Will we be doing what we did last time?' I asked, referring to how I'd summoned an unrestrained forcefield, but Kazama shook his head. 'I'll begin to train you in how to summon a restrained forcefield as that will be more helpful in the long run. Prepare yourself, however, because it will be more exhausting than last time.' He forewarned, reaching out to take my hand.

I let him slip his fingers through mine, blushing as he drew me over to the door and back down the stairs. Even though I was excited for this oni lesson, I was also a little hesitant. I remembered how fatigued I'd gotten the last time I'd summoned a forcefield and it had not been a fun experience.

Kazama lead us down the stairs into the main area, where we passed the kitchen along the way. Shiranui was inside putting away all the groceries and he looked at me as I passed. I smiled guiltily as he gave me an unforgiving frown when he realised I wasn't going to join him in the kitchen. He looked wholly unimpressed that I wasn't coming back to help, and he was probably equally displeased with knowing he would have to wait longer for dumplings too.

Kazama and I trudged through the living room to the door to the back garden. It was a little bit bigger than the front garden, with a high wall at the back tall enough that no one could see over it. There were two large trees and a few smaller ones edging the nice grassed area, framed with flower beds, and a seating area to the right. Next to that was a shallow pond.

Breathing in the smell of earth and plants, I had to smile. 'I miss having a garden.' I said wistfully, forgetting I was with someone.

Kazama eyed me curiously, knowing I'd been speaking to myself but he replied anyway. 'You may have as much garden as you want in Akimura, Chizuru.' He said casually.

I sighed, but I couldn't bring myself to chastise him for assuming I'd eventually live with him. I knew what he was like so if I fought back or grew stubborn then he'd only push more of my buttons.

Kazama smirked at my silence. 'In fact, dear wife, you may even continue to care for the _existing_ one. The one _you_ made me put there.'

That caught my attention.

I frowned up at him, confused at what he meant. 'What are you talking about?' I asked, wondering if he was implying what I thought he was. Had I actually been to Akimura before? I'd never asked him, but I knew as a child I'd wanted to. In my last flashback I'd practically begged him to take me there.

Kazama was evidently pleased he'd piqued my interest. 'You probably don't remember, but you gave me a sapling of one of the trees native to your village and instructed me to put a proper garden around it. You wouldn't take no for an answer.' He said, sitting down on the bench under one of the large trees.

I sat down too, directly beside him. The truth was I did remember. I remembered talking about giving him one of the saplings from my village so he was sure never to forget about me. I'd remembered it from my latest flashback, the one in which he'd given me the wooden wren.

I lowered my eyes, playing with the hem of my kimono. 'Actually I do remember that.' I murmured, peering back up in time to see his eyebrow raise. 'Well, I remember telling you that I wanted you to plant a tree in your garden. I just didn't know it had actually happened.'

Kazama didn't answer straight away. Instead he looked at me for a bit, watching the strange expression on my face. It was the expression I always made when remembering tender moments from my past with Kazama; half soft, half confused. I was still battling with knowing that we'd been so close in my youth. A youth I barely remembered.

Kazama then placed his hand over mine, making my cheeks burn. 'There's a lot you don't remember, Chizuru. There's still much I have to tell you, as well, but I am confident that one day you will know everything. Perhaps you will even remember it yourself. But for now let's start the lesson.' He said, twisting to face me a little more.

Nodding, I turned to face him too. 'Ok. I'm ready.'

Kazama nodded too. 'Good. Now, assume your oni form.' He commanded lightly, feigning patience even though we both knew he couldn't wait to see it again.

I sighed at his evident anticipation before closing my eyes. I barely needed to concentrate now. It had become almost like second nature to assume my oni form and it was hard to believe there was once a time that I found it so difficult. Even with Kazama eyeing me like a hawk, there was rarely an occasion where it took longer than 10 seconds for my features to change from human to oni.

Once I'd sensed the change had been completed, I opened my rose gold eyes. I briefly looked around at the garden and drank in all the new greens and browns, drawn in by just how beautiful everything was. Having my oni senses gave me a better appreciation for everything, especially nature, and I could also smell more than just the earth now too. I could smell the water from the pond, and the food cooking in the marketplace.

Kazama drew my hand into his and I could swear I could hear his heart begin to beat faster. 'Beautiful, as usual, Chizuru.' He commented, kissing my hand and watching me go red, before he continued. 'Now stand up. Today's oni lesson will not be conducted while sitting down.' He said, getting to his feet.

I raised with him, curious as he began to idly lead me over to the pond. 'So what exactly are we doing today?' I asked, hoping that he'd clarify.

Kazama and I came to a stop beside the pond, and he looked down into its depths. 'There are a few main things that onis use their restrained forcefields for, Chizuru, and today I'll be teaching you one of them. Watch.' He said, motioning for me to look down at the pond as well.

I did as he'd asked, staring down at our reflections in the water. There we were together, side by side with our fingers intertwined, and for a moment it looked so natural that it startled me.

Suddenly, sparks of blue interrupted my musings. They started out our feet, and rapidly they became tendrils of electric blue energy spinning around our ankles. I recognised it as soon as I saw it; Kazama's energy. The tendrils spun together, merging and twisting, until they started to form together. I watched with awe as they formed a transparent blue ribbon, slowly settling down to rest on the surface of the pond.

Kazama had made a path on the water! Just like Hato had done when we'd arrived at Yamamura.

'Wow.' I said, awe struck even though I'd already seen someone do this before, and Kazama seemed proud that he'd impressed me. 'This is what I'll be teaching you to do today, Chizuru. You might not be able to form one this solid but I have no doubt you'll get close. Now come.' He urged, tugging me closer to the water's edge before pulling me onto the walkway of energy he'd made.

My knees buckled, half expecting to fall into the pond, but the walkway held firm. 'So what do I do now?' I asked, not bothering to conceal the excitement in my voice.

Kazama held my hand firmly, facing me front on. 'Grasp your oni energy and pull it out into the air like you did in the last oni lesson. But this time, hold it still so it doesn't swirl around you. Then try and manipulate it into a ribbon shape and build it up from there.' He guided.

He made it sound so easy but I knew from experience it would be far from that. The last time I'd tried to summon a forcefield it had been so exhausting that I'd become drenched in sweat.

I closed my eyes, focusing on what I needed to do. It was easy enough to grab a strand of my golden power. While the energy was inside my body I could manipulate it how I wanted to, drawing it down my arms or pushing it into my legs. I'd gotten used to moving it around inside my own body in order to activate my oni features and senses.

But trying to push it outside of my body… it was really difficult.

I pressed the strand of energy to my skin, trying to force it out. Thankfully I didn't lose my grip on it but I may as well have for all the progress I was making. I couldn't believe how much harder this was than any oni power I'd used in the past!

After a good two minutes, I finally managed to push a spark out into the air. I opened my eyes to watch it float around me non-chalantly, swirling slowly around my body, and I let out a shaky breath as I fought to keep a grip on it. Bit by bit I fed more energy into it until it was a thin ribbon, but still I could not stop it from moving around.

Kazama sensed my internal struggle. 'Try to keep it still. Then once it's still, pour more energy out to join to it.' He said, his voice calm and low as to not startle me out of concentration.

The first bead of sweat formed on my face, frustration building within me too. 'It's… really hard.' I muttered, growing more impatient as the ribbon refused to do what I wanted it to.

Kazama stayed silent, his face serene and collected, and I realised he was so patient because he knew I could do it. Even though in the past I'd struggled with the majority of my oni powers, Kazama had always believed in me and right now was no different. And he was right. I could do it.

Through sheer will alone, I clamped down harder on the ribbon of energy. To my joy and surprise it came to a shaky stop around my feet, still fighting against its natural nature to move around. But I'd finally managed to keep it still. Finally.

Kazama was quick to give me my next instruction. 'Now feed more energy into it. Once you've done that, try and place it over the water. Do it slowly so you don't lose control.' He advised.

I did as he said, pushing more of my oni energy out to meet the energy already at my feet. I watched with relish and growing exhaustion as the ribbons of energy grew larger and larger, until I was certain that if I lost any more energy then I'd collapse. In fact I was probably closer to that than I realised.

In a haste not to pass out, I dragged the ribbon of gold over the water. It settled shakily onto the surface, flickering as my concentration wavered. I could hardly believe I'd done it but I was so exhausted that I was having some serious trouble being proud of myself. I silently begged for Kazama to raise his hand and tell me to let it go. I was about 10 seconds from a coma.

Kazama didn't let me drop it straight away, however. Instead he pulled something out from his pocket, a coin, and I watched curiously as he bent down and placed it on my forcefield. As soon as the weight of the coin came to rest upon it the strain on my body doubled, but I was much too tired to ask him what on earth he was doing.

After only a few more seconds, he picked up the coin. 'Ok, that's enough. You've done well.' He said.

I let out a sigh of relief, releasing my grip on my power. I felt it quickly return to my body and seep back into the darkness, but I was so fatigued that my legs shook.

Kazama caught me as my knees gave way. 'I'm impressed, Chizuru. You've done well for your first attempt.' He said, holding me against him.

I raised a trembling hand to my head to wipe off the sweat, blushing as he kept me steady against his chest. 'What… what was with the coin?' I asked, pulling my head off his chest just to look up at him. His hold was the only thing keeping me upright so I didn't really want to pull away just yet, even though I was growing more embarrassed by the second.

I was taken by surprise when he didn't answer me; instead he picked me up in his arms.

I let out a small gasp as he carried me back over to the bench we'd originally been sitting on, gently placing me down. 'I was testing how strong your forcefield was by putting something on top of it. When you get better at it then I'll start to test it with heavier things, until I'm confident it can be stood upon.'

It made sense, I supposed, but it was hard for me to believe that I'd _ever_ be able to sustain a forcefield with someone standing on it. The coin had been heavy enough.

I let out a sigh, leaving back against the back of the seat. 'Well, I'm just glad it's over.' I mumbled, wincing as my muscles ached, and my relief drew a chuckle from the man beside me. 'It's tiring, yes, but it will get easier with time. For now I think this is all we need to do today. It's not wise to continue with you in your current state.' He teased, motioning to me slouched against the chair with my eyes half closed.

I managed to muster an unimpressed pout, but I didn't retaliate. I just wanted to go to bed.

Kazama was silent after that, allowing me to recover in peace. I looked at the sky and watched the clouds float by while I waited for my heart to calm down, but it was hard with Kazama beside me. I wasn't entirely sure if my heart was still pounding because of my lingering fatigue or because of his presence.

After a few minutes I began to feel better, and I sat up. 'Well…I think I better go inside and make a start on lunch. Shiranui was _really_ hungry.' I sighed, smiling as I reflected on all the whinging I'd gone through when he and I had been shopping together. Shopping with Shiranui was like being with a child. But I didn't mind it.

Kazama grunted, a stoic expression on his face. 'It's a wonder how someone so demanding doesn't know how to cook his _own_ food.' He remarked casually, his eyes staring blankly at the grass at our feet.

I was almost gobsmacked by his words, amazed at how Kazama of all people could call someone else _demanding_. His naivety when it came to his own flaws was beyond amusing.

I snorted without thinking, immediately going red as Kazama turned to look at me. I could see that he was wondering why I'd scoffed at him.

'What?' He asked, genuinely confused.

I shook my head, struggling to hide a smile. 'It's nothing. Don't worry about it.' I said, turning to face the grass as well and hoping that he'd drop the issue.

But Kazama continued to stare into the side of my face, intent on getting an answer from me. 'Is there something you need to say, Chizuru? By all means, do share.' He asked, raising an eyebrow at me. His seriousness only made it even harder to control myself. There was nothing more irritating to Kazama than someone making fun of him. Now that I wasn't scared of him anymore it was rather satisfying to see him so flustered.

I shrugged, unable to hide my smile anymore. 'Oh, it's nothing, Kazama-san. Anyway, I really should get a start on lunch...' I trailed off as I went to stand up, but I didn't get very far because Kazama had pulled me back down. 'Why did you scoff at me?' He asked, his brows furrowed.

Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and I let out a short laugh. 'I just found it amusing that you of all people could accuse someone else of being demanding. Especially Shiranui.' I said with amusement. Shiranui could be impatient sometimes, but he was rarely ever demanding. At least not to the same level as Kazama.

Kazama's frown deepened and I could tell I'd injured his pride. 'I see. It's pleasing to know I amuse you so. Is there anything else you need to share with me while you're at it?' He asked sarcastically, his eyes darting down to my lips which were still smiling. He wasn't angry, of course, not in the slightest. But I'd obviously hit a sore spot.

I sighed, finding it so ironic how sensitive he was to being teased when he did the same to me all the time. 'No, I think that's all. You can stop pouting now.' I said, dealing one last blow to his pride while I could. As much as I enjoyed flustering him, I knew if I dragged on for too long then he'd try and tease me back. And we both knew he'd win that fight. I'd stand no chance against him.

I went to stand up again, and Kazama stood up too. 'Hmm.' Was all he said, narrowing his eyes at the slyness in my eyes. 'You really are getting more comfortable with me, aren't you? I'm beginning to see you smirk a lot more, which is endearing, although I'm pretty sure I could change that expression quite quickly. Perhaps to the kind of expression you made for me in my futon that night in the village.' He highlighted, referring to the night we'd first kissed. I could only imagine the expressions he'd seen then. No doubt the bliss I'd felt had reflected on my face.

My expression really did change quickly after he said that, but it changed to mortification.

When he saw the shift, Kazama's smirk increased tenfold. 'Oh? Not so bold now, are we?' He chuckled, watching my cheeks ripen.

I pressed my lips together, trying so hard not to think of that night or I'd literally combust then and there. 'Very amusing. But I really am going to make lunch now so I'll see you when I'm finished.' I chastised, beginning to walk back to the house.

Kazama followed me with a grin on his face, his eyes drilling into my body from behind me. 'Are you sure you don't desire my company?' He asked, moving to walk directly to my side.

I shook my head, giving him a sharp glance as we entered the house. 'Only if you want to help me cook.' I jabbed back, knowing full well that he would never agree to that.

Kazama's face soured just a little as he imagined doing such a thing, but he reached out to take my hand. 'Don't be ridiculous. But I'll have you know, Chizuru, that I intend to spend as much time as possible with you while we are residing in this house. And I'm going to enjoy it, as are you.' He said confidently, kissing my hand.

I cringed with embarrassment but I didn't pull my hand away. 'Great. But in the meantime, I have a lunch to prepare.' I said as we stopped in front of the kitchen door. The truth was I was overjoyed to be able to spend the next however-long with him. Here in this quaint little house, by the sea, it was almost like we were a proper couple living together. Now I'd be able to see if we really were as compatible as I'd begrudgingly come to realise.

Kazama chuckled, casually leaning against the door frame, but the next person to speak wasn't him.

'You do indeed have a lunch to prepare. And I'm about to waste away here.' Shiranui mumbled. He was still in the kitchen, packing away the groceries.

I spun around to look at him, leaving Kazama by the door. 'Oh, sorry, Shiranui-san. Kazama-san and I just had an oni lesson.' I said, beholding Shiranui's very distressed expression. I could tell he was not pleased by being left in here to pack the groceries away himself.

Before Shiranui could respond, Kazama cut in. 'She does have a lunch to prepare, and since you used that tone with my wife you can help her make it.' He snapped, agitated that Shiranui was ordering me around. He'd never liked other people giving me orders, but he of course was exempt.

The look that crossed through Shiranui's eyes was undeniably distraught. He hated doing chores, especially cooking, but it was just so amusing how the thought of helping in the kitchen could produce such trauma.

I sighed, giving Kazama a disapproving regard. 'It's fine. I can do it by myself. After all, the tone he used with me is nothing like what I have to put up with from you on a regular basis. Maybe _you_ should be the one to help cook.' I retorted, folding my arms.

Kazama frowned at my sassiness, ignoring the smug look on Shiranui's face. 'Speaking of _tone_.' He highlighted, reaching out to press his finger to my lips to highlight how I'd just spoken to him. 'But there is to be no debate. _He_ will help you with today's lunch and _he_ will think twice about speaking to you like that from now on.' He ordered, gesturing to Shiranui.

I rolled my eyes as Kazama narrowed his at mine, but he didn't really seem angry. I swore when I looked at him that I could see a bit of amusement tweaking at the corner or his lips. At my behaviour, that was. Definitely not Shiranui's.

Kazama straightened himself when neither of us said anything. 'I'll see you when lunch is ready, dear wife. I will be in the lounge area if you need me.' He said, giving me one last meaningful glance before he disappeared.

Once he was gone, I let out a sigh. It would surely be exhausting to be married to such a man, but at least I could count on it never being boring. I was sure he'd say the same about me as well.

After a few more seconds, Shiranui snorted. 'The sooner you take him off our hands, the better. I'm sure you'll iron out his arsehole qualities.' He said with no filter, as was very characteristic of Shiranui.

He merely smirked as I turned around to give him a chastising look. 'Shiranui-san.' I scolded, but I couldn't say much more than his name. He was probably right, I'd come to accept, because I doubted there was another person on the planet who could handle Kazama like I could.

And with that thought in my mind, we finally made a start on lunch.

* * *

 **Ending note**

 **Please read the author notes at the beginning of the chapter! Please also consider following/subscribing to my social media sites 3 xx**


	50. Wager

**Hey guys, I'm back again with another long-awaited update! Sorry about the wait this time :o I've been pretty busy! Anyway, thank you for all the reviews and support and I hope you like this chapter xx**

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* * *

 **Wager**

Five days had passed since we'd first set foot in Aomori.

Each day had been more relaxing than the last, allowing me to fully rest from the journey. When I didn't have housework to do, I spent the daylight hours reading, gardening or sewing until Kazama came back from boat searching. As of yet there was no one willing to travel to Ezo, but Kazama told me not to grow disheartened. I trusted him to work something out.

Right now I was sitting in my room by the window, working on the haori and yukata for Kazama. Shiranui was here with me as well, serving as my model as I checked the fitting of the clothing. Even though Shiranui was a little leaner than Kazama he was roughly the same height which made him the perfect gauge of if the clothes would actually fit. I may have been a good seamstress but not even I could tailor a yukata and haori without a model.

I took a measuring tape out from my obi, standing back to regard my handiwork. 'Arms out.' I requested. Shiranui grumbled, doing as he said even though he was evidently displeased. 'Here I was thinking that I'd finally be free to do as I liked once Kazama was off all day. Yet here I am, taking orders from his mistress.' He sighed.

I rolled my eyes, his behaviour reminding me of Okita. 'I'm not his mistress. And I didn't _force_ you to help me. I asked nicely, and you accepted.' I reminded him, measuring the length between the top and bottom of the haori so I'd know how much gold trimming to use to frame the edges.

Shiranui was smirking, which told me that he was just trying to push my buttons. That _also_ reminded me of Okita.

With the progress I was making with Kazama's haori and yukata, it would be finished tonight in time for his birthday tomorrow. I was finished most of it apart from the embroidery and the trimming, and it was turning out even better than I expected. I was glad I'd spent the extra money to buy good quality fabric. After all, he'd never spared any expense with me so this was the least I could do, especially because this was a combined birthday gift _and_ a thankyou for taking me to Aomori.

I smiled to myself, wondering how on earth I'd ever believed I could have made it alone. I would have been lost within the first week, wandering aimlessly around the Japanese countryside by a fortnight, before eventually being forced to return to Kyoto. Providing I would have even known where _that_ was. I would have been incredibly lonely without Kazama too. Even though at the beginning his presence was unnerving to me, now I realised it was essential.

I tied off the loose string as I finished sewing on the first part of gold trimming, running around the opening of the haori. And not to mention my oni powers. I would have been just as hopeless in using them as I had been before I left Kyoto. It was so hard to imagine a life without them now, a life without knowing my true capability. Just yesterday I'd activated my oni strength to carry a bag of soil to the herb garden, a bag I could have never carried on my own before.

Suddenly I heard a door creak open downstairs.

Shiranui and I both froze, my hand still in the midst of sewing. Who could that be? It was much too early for Kazama and Amagiri to return home.

Shiranui was frowning too, but he wasn't as disconcerted as I was. We both stayed standing for a few moments in silence before I took the liberty of activating my oni hearing, out of reflex more than anything. I'd grown to rely on my oni features more and more recently.

My shoulders automatically relaxed as I heard a familiar voice, Kazama's, and the sound of two hearts beating. So it was Kazama and Amagiri after all. But I already knew where Kazama would come to first.

Me.

I turned back to Shiranui. 'I have to hide the clothes.' I whispered, gesturing to the gifts that still adorned his lithe frame. Shiranui immediately shrugged the haori off, beginning to untie the obi of the yukata as I worked on packing away my sewing needles. If my hearing was correct then I only had 20 seconds at most to pack everything up before Kazama burst into my room unannounced as he always did. I could hear the first of his steps on the staircase already.

I practically snatched the clothes off Shiranui, too flustered to even realise he was just unhelpfully watching me with an amused look, and I shoved everything into the cupboard without any regard for where it was all going. As soon as I was out of Kazama's presence again then I would fold the clothes properly but I didn't have time for that right now.

Shiranui was completely unphased as he leaned against my wall, waiting for the drama to unfurl.

And just as I closed the cupboard door, mine slid open.

I spun around to face Kazama as he entered, trying to appear calm even though my heart was pounding in my chest at how close a call that had been. Even 5 seconds earlier and he was bound to have seen me stuffing unfamiliar clothes into my cupboard. He probably would have guessed why as well. I hadn't even paid attention to how suspicious this must have looked either, with my face all panicked with Shiranui standing laxly in my room.

Kazama must have thought so too, because his eyes narrowed. 'What are you both up to?' He asked, his eyes growing even more narrow at the intensity of Shiranui's smirk.

Shiranui merely shrugged, doing his best to get under Kazama's skin. 'Nothing. Your precious bride and I were just spending some quality time together. Weren't we, Chizuru?' He asked airily, giving me a sly wink.

I didn't have time to even blush or sigh, because Kazama interrupted my thoughts. 'Well, now that I am here, your presence is no longer required. Get out.' Kazama brooded, unimpressed by the blue-haired oni's unbothered demeanour.

Shiranui merely gave a sarcastic, lazy smirk, before disappearing from the room.

Once he was gone I felt the full weight of Kazama's attention on me, but it was far less tense than before. His shoulders relaxed and his fingers unflexed from the hilt of his katana. I blushed as his eyes settled on my face, then my body, then my face again.

I stood firm as he finally approached me, but I couldn't help but swoon when his fingers met my face. 'I see you're keeping that idiot out of trouble during the day. And he you, I presume. I can't believe it's been five days and the house hasn't been burned down yet.' He noted, pulling me against him.

Trying hard not to simply melt into his embrace, I let out a controlled sigh and ignored his taunt. 'Welcome back, Kazama-san.' I said, peering up into his deep ruby eyes.

He seemed pleased I'd greeted him in such a way. 'Ah, how lovely it will be to hear you greet me in such a tone for the rest of my life. Once again you remind me that this pretty mouth isn't just for arguing.' He chuckled, pressing the pad of his thumb to my lips. 'But there are more pressing matters to discuss at this point in time. I bring potentially good news.' He revealed, watching my face carefully.

I locked my eyes with his, perking up at his mention of good news. Could it be…?

I was unable to hide my eagerness. 'Good news? What kind of good news?' I asked, wishing with every part of my body that he was going to say what thought he was. Had he found a boat? If not, then how much longer would this go on for? I'd suspected that it might take some time to get to Ezo but I hadn't wanted it to be a reality. I was impatient and distressed. All I wanted to do was make sure they were all ok, and if worst came to worst then I'd just have to sail myself out there.

I really hoped his good news was the kind I wanted to hear.

Kazama's lips tweaked upwards at the hope in my eyes. 'I said it was _potentially_ good news, Chizuru. In any case, I may have found a boat. I came back early because…'

'What? You found a boat?' I squeaked, interrupting his explanation.

So much happiness and relief flooded me all at once that it almost knocked me over. I couldn't believe that I could finally see the end of the journey coming even closer. If Kazama really had found a boat then I could be just a few days from seeing the Shinsengumi! Would be leave tomorrow? The day after? Next week?

I opened my mouth again to ask exactly that, but Kazama silenced me by pressing his finger to my lips. 'I found a boat, _yes_. But the owner has not yet agreed to sail us yet. As I was saying before, I came back early because he is currently working and he agreed to meet me later to discuss the terms. Amagiri and I are going to his house at sundown.' He clarified, taking his finger off my lips when he saw I'd calmed down.

There were so many things going through my head. If this man really did agree to lend us his boat, then it may be a matter of days before I saw the Shinsengumi. The realisation that I would see them soon was more prominent than it had ever been. I was surprised to find myself also starting to feel nervous too. In fact, I feared I was going to throw up.

Kazama suddenly lifted my face with his fingers, encouraging me to look at him. 'Nothing is set in stone, Chizuru, so don't get your hopes up. Anyway, I also came home early today to spend some time with you, as I feel like I haven't been in your company very often in the past few days.' He said, letting me go and walking idly over to my window.

I joined him where he stood, following his line of sight to the sea. The past few days I hadn't seen him that often because he got home late. It was harder than I thought it would be to be away from him for so many hours at a time after being continually by his side for the past few months. I'd grown accustomed to him being with me.

I swallowed, refusing to meet his eyes. 'Thank you.' I said, and I meant it. Being with Shiranui was fun but when Kazama was gone it was like a piece of me was missing.

Kazama looked at me curiously, at my blushing cheeks and shy eyes, before reaching out to grab my hand. 'Could it be…?' He mused, beginning to smirk. '…that you _miss_ me, Chizuru?' He finished, pulling me even closer until I was almost against him.

I sighed, embarrassed that he'd picked up on it so easily _. I did_ miss him, it was true, and I didn't even need to tell him because he already knew it.

When I said nothing, Kazama finally closed the distance between us, guiding me to his warm chest. 'I'm flattered that my absence has proven so distressing to you. I must admit I have also been afflicted by your absence. Anyway, I think it would be worthwhile in moving to the garden for a lesson before I must depart in an hour. Would this please you?' He asked, breaking away from me.

I was disappointed as our bodies separated but it quickly faded. We'd had an oni lesson every day for the past five days, even though some had been quite short, and I had noticed I was getting better at using my forcefields. I wondered what we would do today?

I nodded, looking out of the window at the sun which was hanging low in the sky. 'Sure. Will we practice some more forcefields?' I asked.

However, I was surprised when he shook his head. 'No. Your progress is satisfactory and I don't want to wear you out. You can't practice forcefields as often as you would the other abilities lest you exhaust yourself. So that's why today's lesson will be something a little different.' He said, piquing my curiosity.

I frowned, watching his eyes trace my features. 'So… what will be doing then?' I asked.

Kazama didn't answer straight away. Instead he moved over to my cupboard and picked up my kodachi that was leaning against the wall.

He moved back to me shortly after, placing it in my hands. 'A sword lesson, of course. It has been quite a while since our last one, wouldn't you agree? I want to get you used to using your oni abilities, such as sight and strength, to give you an edge during battle.' He said.

I looked down at the kodachi in my hands, smiling to myself. It had indeed been a while since our last sword lesson and I was glad we were going to be resuming today. I really enjoyed swordsmanship training with Kazama, even if he _always_ won and mocked me for it.

Tying my kodachi around my waist, I straightened myself. 'Ok, I'm ready.' I said.

Kazama nodded, motioning for me to follow him out of my room. We travelled down the stairs and into the lounge, where Amagiri was sitting with a book in his hands. It was then that I wondered what Sen's letter to him had contained. It must have been hard for the both of them to be apart for so long and I hoped that when we travelled back to Ezo that they'd be stronger than ever.

Kazama opened the door for me as we stepped outside into the back garden. 'Your skills are adequate enough that I don't need to go easy on you anymore, Chizuru. Today I will be harsher than usual but you will develop your abilities faster this way. Move over there.' He ordered, referring to the patch of grass that we'd be sparring on.

I took in a deep breath and prepared myself for the upcoming lesson. I'd come a long way since my first sword lesson so I was pretty confident in my abilities but it unnerved me that he was going to be harsher than usual. I already struggled to get any good hits in. How was I supposed to beat him now?

I watched patiently as he drew his katana from its sheathe, slowly and deliberately. The sight of Kazama drawing his sword was both awe-inspiring and terrifying. I could only imagine how his enemies felt in such a moment, knowing that they'd soon meet their demise.

Kazama interrupted my thoughts by pointing his blade at my kodachi. 'Unsheathe it, kitten. When you're ready then we shall begin.' He said, lowering his blade once I'd drawn mine.

I did as he asked, and when he saw that I was ready he spoke again. 'Don't be afraid to use your oni abilities during today's lesson. It will always give you the upper hand in a fight, especially with humans, as they cannot hope to match your strength. Your oni sight will help slow down their movements and will give you more time to process their actions as well.' He explained.

I nodded, drawing the burning golden power up from the darkness into my limbs. It was a quick process thanks to all the practice I'd had, so it was only a few seconds before I sensed the fortification of my muscles, and my improved sight followed soon after.

Kazama smirked when he saw I was ready. 'You really are getting better at using your powers, Chizuru.' He noted, seeing my eyes turn rose-gold just seconds after he'd instructed me to activate my oni abilities.

I pushed my hair behind my ear, flattered by his compliment. 'Thank you, Kazama-san.' I said, and he responded with a tilt of his head. 'There's no need for gratitude, kitten. I only speak the truth. But compliments aside, you may start when you're ready.' He said, giving me the first strike like he often did.

I took in another deep breath as I moved my kodachi in front of me. All of Kazama's past tips were running through my mind; legs shoulder width apart, watch your opponent's line of sight to predict their moves, don't be afraid to put force behind your strikes. Kazama had trained me thoroughly in the past few months and now more than ever was I eager to best him.

Glaring up into his eyes, I communicated silently that tonight I wasn't going to back down. He had the same look in his eyes too. He wasn't going to back down either, not even for training purposes.

Without any word of warning, I charged towards him.

I kept my blade lowered until the last minute so he wouldn't know where I was planning to strike, but I eventually curved it towards his torso. I was a lot more confident in my blows now that I knew he'd always block them. Before I'd been worried that I'd give him an injury but that was no longer the case.

Kazama, as predicted, blocked my hit. Not only did he block it but he pushed it back against my blade hard enough that I stagged backwards. I immediately came back at him, this time aiming for his abdomen, but he blocked that too. Almost directly afterwards he drew back his weapon then attempted to swipe it towards my left side.

My oni sight meant that his weapon strikes appeared much slower than normal, but I suspected he was making up for it by using a small amount of his oni speed. He was fully aware that I could handle myself pretty well now after all the sword training I'd received from him. He definitely wasn't going easy on me but I feared this was only the beginning. I was doing pretty adequately now but it could change at any time.

Kazama parried my latest hit, his lips tweaking upwards at the sides. 'Put more strength into your hits. Don't be afraid of your power.' He advised, remarking that my strikes were too easily deflectable.

I sighed, increasing the golden power in my arms.

The next strike would have sliced right through a person but Kazama blocked it as easily as if it was a feather. I could see he was pleased with the effort, so he didn't tease me, but it was only a matter of time before he turned cocky. Usually once he'd taught me the necessary skills during a sword lesson then he spent the rest of the time trying his best to get under my skin.

Kazama darted to the side in order to catch me off guard, swinging his blade in my direction. I only just managed to block it in time but I didn't let it fluster me. As soon as I could I'd already done the same, side stepping past his blade so I could get a clear hit to his ribs.

Kazama chuckled, countering it effortlessly. 'Nice decision, albeit a little slow. Now be prepared for my next hit because I will use my oni strength too.' He warned, putting some more distance between us again.

I internally groaned, remembering all the other times he'd used his oni strength while striking at me. It was never pleasant.

I only had a second before he brought his katana down on me, and I raised my own sword to block it. The force of his strength sent vibrations through my hands and up my arms. I couldn't believe that this wasn't even a quarter of his strength and yet he almost had me shaking with exertion whilst trying to push back his blade.

Taking in a sharp breath, I moved all my available oni power to my arms to help push his blade off mine. 'Was your father this harsh on you when he taught you how to use a sword?' I asked through bated breath, finally managing to wrestle our swords apart.

Kazama took another swing at my side, not waiting for me to recover. 'No.' He said, but he continued promptly after. 'He was much harsher. He was a master swordsman, Chizuru. Even after years of training I only managed to best him once or twice.' He said, and without warning he flicked my blade from my hands.

I watched it hit the dirt, slumping my shoulders as I realised I'd lost. 'Oh.' Was all I said, forlornly picking my blade up off the ground.

Kazama swung his katana over one shoulder, watching me brush the soil of my kodachi with amusement. 'It took years for me to get to the point where I had a chance to beat him. I presume that will be the case for you and I as well, since I have much more experience in sword fighting than you.'

I tried not to grumble at the thought. I didn't think I could bear to wait so long before I could beat him. Although I was passive and quiet-spoken, I was also very competitive. And there would be something just so exquisite in beating Kazama at his own game.

When I said nothing, he readied his katana once more. 'Again?'

I nodded, bringing my blade to the front again. 'Well, even if it does take me years to beat you, it sure will be worth it.' I noted, irritated when he let out a chuckle.

Before he could retort, I'd already spoken again. 'This time you can go first.' I instructed.

The spark in Kazama's eyes grew even brighter, and for a moment I thought he might have denied out of jest, but in the end he didn't. 'Very well, my dear bride. Ready yourself.' He provoked.

I would have rolled my eyes if I had have had time. But without hesitation, and without even letting me ready myself, he had already lunged forward.

I let out a shocked gasp as our blades connected with a flurry of small sparks, much like I'd seen happen between Kazama and Hijikata when they'd fought in the past. Kazama and I must have both been using more of our oni strength than I thought.

Pushing him back with all my available force, I watched his eyes carefully in order to predict his movement. He gave nothing away, however, keeping his own eyes trained on my face. He was watching _my_ eyes to see where I would strike, and unfortunately I wasn't quite skilled enough to accurately swing a blade without aiming. That was something I'd only seen Hijikata and Kazama do, in addition to Saito.

Unfortunately, Kazama knew exactly where my next strike would be.

He blocked my kodachi even before I'd really began to swing it towards his side. He then slipped behind me without warning, and I knew he was trying to gain access to my blind spots, but before he could deal a winning blow I'd already moved.

Kazama and I continued to spar for what seemed like forever. After a while I found myself getting slightly more exhausted, and frustrated, as I often did while training. And today he was staying true to his word; he was more ruthless than usual. There was a period time where the amusement completely faded from his eyes and was replaced with determination, and it was during those times that he was harshest on me. He dealt blow after blow, refusing to let me rest.

But even though I still wasn't winning, nor would I probably for a long time, I was still proud of myself. So far I'd gotten closer to besting him than I'd ever gotten in the past. Maybe he was right when he said I'd improve faster if he was rougher with me. In fact, I had recently come to the conclusion that I was actually able to reasonably defend myself now, even against a person with swordsmanship training. The feeling was so satisfying.

Unfortunately though, my concentration levels hadn't seemed to improve. While I was deep in thought, Kazama knocked the blade from my hand. He then wrapped a forearm around my shoulders and pulled me back against his chest, holding his katana to my throat.

He chuckled as my shoulders slumped, indicating that I'd understood that I'd lost. 'You did well, Chizuru.' He said, letting me go and moving to stand in front of me once more.

I sighed at his compliment, picking up my kodachi. I suppose I had done well, considering we'd now been sparring for almost 20 minutes.

Bringing my kodachi in front of me again, I got into stance. 'Let's try again.' I requested, hoping he would comply. He was always pretty reluctant to tire me out too much in case I made myself ill, and right now I was feeling quite fatigued, but I'd gotten in some good strikes before so I wanted to continue.

Kazama, who was looking no more exhausted than if he'd just gone for a walk, lazily swung his katana over his shoulder. 'Are you sure? You must be determined to beat me if you're willing to spar again. Perhaps it is best if we finish for today, however, given your appearance.' He remarked with a smirk, referring to my heavy breathing and the sweat collecting on my brow.

Resisting the urge to pout at his taunt, I straightened myself. 'I'm fine, Kazama-san. It's only been 20 minutes. Are you sure you're not restricting my training because you're afraid I _will_ eventually beat you?' I theorised, imagining that that day would either make Kazama proud or extremely agitated. Maybe it would be a mix of both.

Kazama detected the growing amusement in my voice; and also the resolution. He knew I really wanted to continue. And he also couldn't help but scoff at what I'd said.

'Hmph.' He said, his eyes twinkling. 'I suppose you did get some good hits in today, Chizuru. You're improving at a remarkable rate, but you're no where near my level yet. But if you are so eager to continue then perhaps we can make it more interesting. How about a little wager?' He suggested.

I narrowed my eyes, instantly suspicious of where this was going. Kazama's wagers were never good. Well, at least not for anyone other than him.

Eventually my curiosity got the better of me. 'What kind of wager?' I inquired unenthusiastically.

Kazama appeared delighted that I'd taken the bait. 'If you can get your blade to touch any part of my body, even momentarily, I will let you request something of me. Anything you want.' He said, watching with relish as he saw how he'd instantly piqued my interest.

Anything I wanted? I could do a lot with that. Maybe I'd make _him_ do the dishes for once.

I was just about to respond when he raised a finger. 'However,' he began. 'If you fail to do so within 5 minutes, then I get to request something of you. That's only fair, is it not?' He asked with a smirk, bringing down his katana.

Oh no. This was a bad idea. Who knew what he'd request if he won! In addition, I'd managed to get my blade to touch him several times in the past, including today, but it had only come in contact with his clothes; never his skin. I had no chance of winning if my kodachi needed to touch his flesh.

I narrowed my eyes even further, finding it unsettling how amused he appeared. 'Does my blade have to touch your skin?' I asked. If his answer was yes, then there was no chance of me accepted his so-called wager. Already my head was scolding me for even considering it.

However, Kazama shook his head. 'As long as the blade touches my body, including my clothes, then I will count that as your victory.' He promised, his smouldering eyes daring me to accept his challenge.

I thought about it for a really long time. The smart thing would have been to walk away from the challenge, but now that I knew I could touch his clothes it was likely I had a chance. He was wearing a yukata and haori which were both very flowy garments and it wasn't uncommon for my kodachi to swipe at one occasionally. I'd done it today, even. And I could only imagine what I could get Kazama to do for me if I won.

Eventually I sighed, looking him dead in the eye. 'I will only accept if you tell me what you're going to request of me. I'm not going to agree to something ridiculous, like marrying you.' I jabbed, half serious and half joking. I was almost positive he wouldn't use a request for something like that, but who knew. Maybe he'd request that I conceive his child right here and now.

Kazama adopted a lopsided grin at my acceptance of his wager, making me regret my decision even more. 'Although I would very much desire to _make_ you marry me, I promised that wench I'd do it the chivalrous way. So no, marriage will not be my request. But a date might be. Tomorrow, at the beach. What do you say?' He mused, amused by the severity of the frown of my face.

 _Tomorrow_. Tomorrow was his birthday. I was almost positive that he didn't know I knew about it. The more I thought about it, the more his request was actually rather… convenient. I'd wanted to ask him for days now if he'd like to go somewhere with me tomorrow because I'd wanted to make tomorrow special for him. It would be the perfect time to give him his present.

Trying to feign exasperation, I let out a sigh. 'Fine. I agree to the wager. But just remember, if I win then I get to request something from you.' I reminded him, getting into fighting stance.

Kazama seemed surprised I'd agreed so readily. 'Very well, the wager is on. But may I know what your potential request will be?' He asked, bringing his katana out in front of him. It was a good question, and one I didn't know the answer of. 'I don't know. I may save it for a special occasion.' I said.

There had been lots of times where I'd wanted Kazama to do something but I'd known he wouldn't. I didn't want to have to keep calling him Chikage to get him to do things. Having a free request would be nice.

Kazama merely chuckled. 'A wise choice. But for now, let's spar. Just remember you only have 5 minutes to touch my skin or clothes. If you're ready then you may begin.' He said.

I nodded, taking in a deep breath to prepare myself. I was ready, and I was determined to beat him. Touching his clothes with my blade would be difficult but not impossible. I just had to keep him moving around so his clothes swished about.

Not wasting another second, I quickly rushed towards him. Kazama blocked my hit instantly and took a step back to distance us. I knew he was playing carefully. He wanted to win this so he was playing it cautiously, but I knew if he kept this much distance between us then it would be harder for me to win.

I inched closer to him again, making sure I wasn't too close as to affect my hits, and I took another swipe. Kazama's katana came up to block my strike and he pushed me back, causing me to stumble a few steps. Almost immediately, he had come at me with his sword ready and the tip directed towards my abdomen. I only just managed to dodge it, side stepping the blade and aiming to quickly cut the sleeve of his haori while his arm was reached out.

I could tell he was having fun watching me struggle. 'You really do want to win this. I can only imagine the types of interesting things you may request of me.' He said, the tone of his voice suggesting that he was trying to tease me.

This was one of Kazama's most common tactics. He was trying to distract me by conversation; the more suggestive, the more distracting it was. It was only a matter of time before his words became audacious.

I chose to ignore him, instead focusing all my efforts on aiming for the loose clothing he was dressed in.

Kazama noticed this, of course, but he wasn't giving up. 'Perhaps your request will be even more bold than mine? It may even be a kiss. Although you should know you do not need to win a bet to request that of me, kitten.' He goaded, watching with relish as my cheeks started to go red.

 _Ugh!_ I internally begged him to be quiet, but I didn't respond. I had to keep my head in the game. I had to focus and prove to him that I was capable of keeping my cool in battle. I considered this as the ultimate test. If I could deal with Kazama's taunting for the next 5 minutes, then I could deal with anything.

Kazama chuckled as I ignored him once more, but instead of speaking again, he brought his sword down on me with more power than before.

I squeaked as I threw my sword up to block him, shaking from the exertion, and I doubled the oni power in my arms. Eventually the muscle fatigue reduced to almost nothing and I pushed him away from me, causing him to stagger back half a step.

It was then that I made my move. I charged forward, swiping my sword quickly towards the hem of his katana as hard as I could. My heart was racing, my breath was laboured, but my efforts were wasted as Kazama blocked the hit.

He seemed impressed, however. 'That was a good hit, dear bride. If you had have initiated it a little sooner then you might have won. It seems I'm underestimating your determination, but it won't happen from now on.' He said, letting me know that he was about to get serious too.

Kazama gracefully parried my next hit, pushing my sword to the side in order to expose my torso, but I jumped out of the way before he could take a stab at me. I kept light on my feet and alert at all times, knowing that although Kazama liked to see me succeed, he would not let it happen so easily during a wager. He was already being so rough with me. His hits were getting more powerful as the seconds ticked on.

Trying to keep my frustration levels to a minimum, I thought about strategy. I either needed to catch him off guard or knock him off balance. I thought about talking to him, using the same tactic as he'd done to me, but that was likely to backfire. I'd probably just end up distracting myself. And I couldn't knock him off balance, especially when I couldn't get close to him.

Maybe I had to try something else? Like pretend to get injured or hurt. Unfortunately I already knew that wouldn't work, as he would likely know what I was doing.

My thoughts were interrupted when Kazama went to slip behind me. This was something he'd done earlier, and pretty much all the other times we'd sparred; he'd get behind me then pull me back against him, rendering me immobile while he pressed his sword to my throat.

But I wasn't falling for it today, so I did the first thing I could thing of.

Tucking my kodachi close to my side, I dived forward onto the ground and rolled away from him. This was a method that Kazama had recently taught me in order to evade an enemy, but he'd also warned I had to do it quickly. If I stayed on the ground too long then an enemy could cut me down with ease.

Without even waiting for the roll to finish, I'd sprung up into a standing position. I whipped my blade out in front of me again, my eyes locking onto Kazama as he was mid-way through rushing towards me. He'd obviously intended to take advantage of my decision to avert my eyes from him, and he would have succeeded if I hadn't have gotten up when I did.

Not even Kazama could hide the surprise in his eyes when I blocked his next hit. He'd obviously suspected that I'd still be disoriented from my evasion tactic. In fact, I considered the surprise in his eyes to be a victory of its own.

I felt a smirk tug at my lips but I forced it to dissipate. Now was _not_ the time to get cocky.

Kazama made a noise in the back of his throat, like a scoff. 'Hmm. Impressive.' He hummed, smirking like how I'd wanted to. 'But you're running out of time. You have two minutes left. And at the moment, you're not getting any closer to winning.'

I'd been so caught up in evading him that I'd forgotten I had a time limit. I needed to get on the offence, but I needed to be smart about it.

Choosing not to reply to his reminder, I fully immersed myself back into the battle. My best bet was to aim for his sleeves now since the hem of his haori was down too low. The lower my sword went, the more exposed I was to _his_ sword. I decided that I would try to trick him into exposing his sleeve, by raising my sword to meet his but shifting the direction at the last moment. I doubted it would work but it was worth a try. It wasn't like I had any other options.

After I'd blocked one of Kazama's hits, I put my own plan into action. With my strength I swung my sword in his direction, watching with subtle glee as he raised his own to block it. His haori sleeve fanned out from the speed of his anticipated block, but just as our swords were about to collide, I dropped my blade a bit lower to cut at the fabric.

My heart rate increased tenfold as I watched my plan play out. Was it actually going to work? I had played it out perfectly.

However, the disappointment was crushing as Kazama detected my intent and moved entirely out of the way.

I couldn't help but let out an audible groan. Each second that passed by caused me tangible pain. I was beginning to doubt myself, and I knew that was dangerous.

Kazama chuckled, parrying my next move. 'You have a minute now, kitten. You might have won with that move if you had not have starred so intently at my haori sleeve. It made your intentions obvious.' He highlighted.

Dammit. I'd broken one of Kazama's most important swordfighting rules; try not to fixate too heavily on where I was aiming or the enemy would be able to predict my move. I cursed myself for my lack of vigilance.

I only had 60 seconds now. Although technically losing would be a good thing based on what his request would be, my pride demanded that I put up a fight regardless. And I knew that even if I won, Kazama would still go to the beach with me tomorrow if I asked. It would have been better, however, if I had a request _and_ a victory up my sleeve as well.

It must have been 40 seconds left now, and all I was doing was blocking. My cheeks were hot from exertion and frustration, and my limbs were starting to tire out. I was using so much of my oni power that it must not have been very good for me. I didn't think I'd even used my oni strength in such a large quantity for this long before. Perhaps on any other occasion Kazama would have immediately ended the lesson, but he knew there was only a few seconds left until my physical torture ended.

That was when my emotional torture would begin.

I let out a loud sigh, not even able to brush the sweat from my forehead. I really only had one choice. I needed to make a bold move. I needed to put all my available oni strength into one last hit, to try and take him by surprise, and if that didn't work then I needed to try something else. I'd even kiss him right now if it meant I'd startle him. I'd probably even untie my kimono too.

Kazama's eyes were growing brighter and brighter. 'Twenty seconds, Chizuru.' Was all he said.

I could see he thought he'd already won. But if I gave up now then I'd probably regret it, especially if I hadn't exhausted all other outcomes. I needed to follow through on my prior plans. I needed to put all my strength together and see where that lead me, to victory or otherwise.

My veins scorched as I drew all my power up from the depths, flooding into my body. It coursed through my arms, my legs, my head and my hands. I filled every crevice of space within my being with my power, feeling my hair start to float around me as I began to change into my oni form. The power was addictive. It was invigorating. My fatigue faded dramatically, half because of my power and half from adrenaline.

And the last thing I saw before I charged towards Kazama was my reflection in his ruby eyes.

I sprinted off the ground, raising my sword in preparation for my final blow. But I knew as soon as my feet left the ground that something didn't feel right. It felt like I was… flying. The edges of my vision blurred yet Kazama remained in perfect clarity, and yet despite the blissful feeling I knew something was not how it should be.

I was surprised to see Kazama wasn't even raising his weapon to defend himself. It was like he hadn't even seen me move yet.

Before I knew it I'd collided with his torso, knocking the air from his lungs, so fast that not even he'd had time to dodge me. The force hurt me as well and I screwed my eyes shut as the impact almost shattered my ribs, but I pulled myself together when I felt us both falling.

When Kazama hit the ground, I fell right on top of him. If I had have been more aware of what was going on then I would have realised my kodachi was up against his throat, where I'd aimed for it to be prior to launching at him. But I was too confused to really process that I'd been victorious. In fact, my other thoughts were more preoccupied around what on earth had happened and why it had happened so… fast.

What… what had I just done?

Kazama didn't say anything. He only stared up at me, his eyes wide, almost like I'd just slapped him instead. There was dirt and grass in his hair from us sliding along the ground before we'd come to a stop, and one had was pressed against my side as if to steady me. I stared down at him too, breathing heavily even though it hurt, feeling like I'd just ran a marathon.

It was then that my mind started to piece itself back together, and so did my memories.

Had I just… just…?

I quickly pulled my kodachi off Kazama's throat, still straddling his chest. 'K-Kazama-san…'

I couldn't get the words out. My mind was scrambled, but I knew what I wanted to say.

 _Did I just use my…oni speed?_

When I spoke, Kazama slowly began to regain his wits too. He didn't make a move to push me off him, but he was too surprised to truly enjoy our position either. Instead he propped himself up on his elbows, using one hand to idly brush the dirt from his hair.

His eyes met mine, the shock morphing into something else. 'It would… seem so.' He said, knowing exactly what I meant even though I hadn't finished my sentence.

Letting my kodachi fall from my grip, my hands pressed to my hot cheeks. I couldn't believe it. I really couldn't believe it. I'd dreamt about this day since I'd first learned I was an oni. I'd actually used my oni speed.

I immediately went to open my mouth to say something, but all that came out was an unintelligible splutter. 'What… I did… I used… I can't believe it.' I stammered like a madman, steadying myself as Kazama raised into a sitting position.

I was still straddling him, my legs split wide in the most unladylike fashion, but it seemed as if he hadn't noticed either. He seemed in just as much shock as I was, probably because I'd just used my oni speed for the first time _and_ managed to beat him in a sparring match. Not to mention, I'd _also_ won a wager. I'd been too caught up in the use of my oni speed to recognise that I'd won until now. I'd actually bested Kazama himself. It was almost too much to process.

I moved my hands to press against my mouth, stifling a joyous giggle, before finally making a move to get off him. I couldn't even speak.

Kazama, finally regaining some of his wit, slid one of his hands though his hair. 'Well.' He said, picking his katana off the ground as he stood up. He pulled me up with him, before looking down at me with slightly narrowed eyes. 'You have impressed me twice today, Chizuru. One with the use of your oni speed, and the other with your victory.'

Not even death itself could have wiped the smile off my face. 'I… actually did it. I actually used my oni speed. And I beat _you_.' I said incredulously, brushing all the dirt and grass off my kimono. It was twisted slightly to the left, and I hastily straightened it as I realised Kazama could see more than just a little bare skin.

Kazama watched me blush, but he kept his eyes on the lingering smile on my face. 'I suppose a congratulations is in order. It seems the element of surprise worked remarkably in your favour, Chizuru. And now you have won a request from me, anything you want, as promised.' He said, reaching up to brush some dirt from the side of my neck.

His touch sobered me up for a split second, burning through my veins like magma. I could see in his eyes that he was proud of me even though I'd bested him and even though I'd won his wager. Although deep down it was bound to sting that he'd been beaten by an amateur who hadn't even known they were an oni until recently.

I blushed as his touch lingered for a few more seconds than necessary. 'I seriously can't believe I did it… after all this time, all I ever wanted to do was use my oni speed.' I said almost breathlessly.

Kazama bent down to pick up my kodachi, placing it in my hands. 'Well, I suppose this means there is little reason to delay teaching you how to use your oni speed. We might as well start tomorrow, although it would have been nice to do it by the beach. Unfortunately since you are the victor, the date I planned as my request will have to be postponed.' He sighed, smirking at me as he sat down on the bench under the tree.

I'd forgotten about that. Now I'd have to ask _him_ on a date tomorrow, but I wasn't allowed to divulge that I knew it was his birthday. I would save that surprise for tomorrow.

I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, my face already on fire. 'Well…' I began, feeling self-conscious. 'We could still do it, if you wanted. Go to the beach, I mean. Since I've wanted to go there for a while.' I said, hoping this wasn't too out-of-character or he'd suspect something. Thankfully he _did_ know that I'd been wanting to go to the beach since we'd arrived in Aomori. I'd practically begged him everyday but I'd also wanted to go during the day when it was warm, but he'd always been out.

Kazama arched a perfect eyebrow, giving me a sidelong glance. 'Is that so? You would agree to a date tomorrow, even though I lost today's wager?' He questioned.

I narrowed my eyes at his growing cockiness, equally loving and hating the way his lips curved up suggestively. 'I never said it was a date, Kazama-san. Just an… outing. You owe it to me anyway since I've been locked up in that house for 5 days.' I said, hoping that he'd fall for my feigned annoyance.

And thankfully, he did. 'Very well.' He agreed, leaning back in the chair and looking up at the canopy of leaves above our head. 'Tomorrow we may have secured a boat too, so it may yet be a day of celebration. Be sure to prepare some food as well for this 'outing'. We can eat our lunch by the water tomorrow, if that would please you.' He suggested.

I nodded, my cheeks heating up again. It really was sounding like a date, even though I'd deliberately termed it as an outing.

'Ok.' I said, leaning back too.

And so it was final. Tomorrow, for Kazama's birthday, he and I would have a picnic on the sand. It was there that I'd also give him haori and yukata and we'd probably also have an oni lesson too, involving my oni speed. I could hardly wait. I wished with all my heart that it would be a good day, for his sake as well as mine.

Suddenly Kazama shifted closer to me, his body almost against mine. 'And don't forgot to think of a request too, kitten. I expect it to be a good one.' He teased, stretching his arm along the back of the chair. The proximity made me giddy but I liked the feeling of him being so close. He was so warm and it was already beginning to coax me to sleep.

I sighed, placing my hands sheepishly in my lap. 'Maybe I'll make you do some housework. Kazama-san. Or make you cook _me_ something for once.' I threatened light-heartedly, knowing exactly what would irk him.

When I looked up at his face, he was cringing. 'Hmm.' Was his only response.

I was unable to hide a smirk, looking up at the tree canopy to where the birds were chirping as they settle somewhere to roost. It was now nearing sunset and I knew Kazama would leave soon to go to this meeting he'd organised, but for now I was glad for his company. Now that the journey was coming to an end, it was moment like these that I needed to cherish. Who knew how long it would be after we'd parted ways before we'd see each other again.

And I could tell he was thinking the same.

* * *

 **Ending note**

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	51. First day of fall

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* * *

 **First day of fall**

I placed the teapot onto the tray, making sure the cups were arranged properly.

I didn't normally bring breakfast directly to Kazama's room but this morning was an exception. It was his birthday and I hoped he wouldn't be irritated that I woke him up so early. He'd probably make some embarrassing comment about me joining him in bed or something else equally as ridiculous, as he always did whenever I entered his room. And I entered it rarely for that exact reason.

Carefully picking up the tray, I made my way to the stairs. I tried to be as quiet as possible so I didn't wake Shiranui and Amagiri, tip-toeing up to the second floor. I'd left my own bedroom door open, causing the pink morning light to stream into the hallway, and it made the metallic thread on my kimono glow. I was wearing the purple one he'd bought me for my birthday.

There was something else that would be celebrated today if Kazama's meeting had gone successfully. To my surprise, Kazama hadn't come to see me last night after he'd gotten back from the meeting so I didn't know if he'd secured a boat. I couldn't hardly wait to find out but I told myself I shouldn't get my hopes up. I'd barely gotten any sleep last night.

Taking in a small breath, I finally knocked on his door. 'Kazama-san, may I come in?' I asked.

I wasn't planning on wishing him a happy birthday straight away. I decided I'd do what he did to me and wait until I'd given him his gift before I did so. I wanted to give him his present by the beach, where we would have our picnic.

At first there was no answer. I went to press my ear to the door, to hear if he was stirring, but before I could do so I heard the sound of shifting sheets.

Kazama's voice followed soon after. 'Come in, Chizuru.' He said.

Already blushing, I used my foot to slide open his door, making sure I didn't spill the tea. The sunlight streaming in through his windows was stronger in his room than in mine and it bathed his room in pink. Once again I was amazed at how quickly a room could adopt his scent even after such a short time. It was such an exotic scent.

Kazama was already sitting upright in his futon, leaning back on his arms. 'To what do I owe the pleasure, Chizuru? Or perhaps I just answered my own question.' He purred, the light dancing on his pale skin.

I sighed, resisting the urge to walk straight back out the door. I'd known this would happen.

Placing the tray down beside him, I sat down on my calves. 'Well, you never came to see me last night after you got home from the meeting. I wanted to know how it went.' I said, keeping my eyes downcast as I prepared his tea.

Kazama watched me intently once I'd finished speaking. He could tell I was on edge, preparing myself for either really good or really bad news. I wondered how long he'd stare at me before he put me out of my misery.

Suddenly Kazama took in a deep breath, sitting up straighter. 'Chizuru, you should be aware that not many people are willing to sail out to Ezo at the moment, not when the war is still raging.' He said ominously.

To say my heart sank would be an understatement. I was crushed.

But when he saw my expression, he smirked. 'But you should _also_ be aware that I am a man with many remarkable talents, one of those being persuasion. The man agreed to sail us to the shores of Ezo, although his price did not come cheap.' He finished, knowing fully well that he'd scared me half to death.

I was too overjoyed to even chastise him for it. 'What? Really? He's going to sail us?' I squeaked, clasping my hands together as I beamed at him.

Kazama spent a second or two to absorb my joy before he responded. 'Of course, dear bride. I told you I'd find a boat, and I did.' He said, picking up one of my hands to place a lingering kiss upon it.

Usually I'd go red or pull away, but I was so thankful that I let him do it. I was too caught up in my own thoughts to be aware of what was going on anyway. This was insane, crazy… amazing. Despite all odds we'd managed to find a boat to take us to Ezo in the middle of a war.

No. _Kazama_ had found a boat. For me.

Without warning I reached for him, my arms slipping around his warm body and my head tucking under his chin. Although I'd planned a lovely day for us today _and_ made him a birthday present, there was nothing I could do to repay what he'd done for me on this journey. There was nothing I could do to equal all the sacrifices he'd made for us to get to this moment. I couldn't have done any of this without him, and I couldn't have become who I was today without him either.

Closing my eyes, I listened to the sound of his heartbeat. 'Thank you, Kazama-san.' I said weakly.

Kazama sighed, placing one hand on my head and the other around my body. He said nothing but I didn't mind. It was enough that he was stroking my hair, his fingers making idle circles on my scalp. We stayed like that for a long time, his heat seeping into my bones and warming me from the inside out. His warmth was something I'd miss when he left.

After a few more minutes I pulled away, my cheeks red. 'So…' I began, aware of a strange electricity between us now. 'When… when will we be leaving?'

Kazama moved to sit with crossed legs, his heated eyes almost cooking me in my skin. 'We leave tomorrow.' He said, but his eyes never left me. I could tell that he too was mulling over what had just happened. There was no one in the world who could make me my limbs turn to jelly with just a single gaze.

Thankfully though, the shock of his words sobered me a little. 'Tomorrow?' I gasped.

Kazama nodded, slowly regaining his composure as well. 'Yes, at nightfall. We will spend tomorrow packing up the house. Amagiri will be leaving tomorrow to head back to Kyoto and he will take your belongings with him. Shiranui, on the other hand, I have no idea where that idiot is going.' He sighed, taking the tea from my hands when I gave it to him.

I nodded, picking up my own cup of tea. 'Will Amagiri-san be taking the horses?' I asked, my mind shifting to Yuki. I'd visited her just yesterday at the stables, along with the other two, where Kazama had paid someone to look after them. Shiranui had practically brought our entire vegetable basket to the stables so he could feed them, but it also meant we'd had a dinner without vegetables that night. Kazama had not been pleased that the horses had been better fed than he had.

Kazama took a sip of his tea before he answered. 'Amagiri and Shiranui will be taking their horses, yes. But Yuki will have to be sold. I don't need her during my return trip and likely neither will you if you're travelling with those dogs. They will have their own horses.' He said.

That upset me. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to Yuki yet. She'd been such a good horse. I just knew that I was going to cry when I had to leave her, especially since I probably wouldn't know who she was going to. I hoped they would take good care of her.

I played with the hem of my kimono, nodding forlornly. 'Oh.' I murmured, and Kazama watched me take another sip of tea, still holding his own in his hand. 'I'll make sure she goes to a good buyer, Chizuru. I promise.' He added, noticing that I was becoming upset.

Meeting his eyes, I could see that he was telling the truth. I just had to trust that she'd been looked after.

Sitting up straighter, I decided that I wouldn't make this day all about me and my issues. 'I know, Kazama-san. Thank you.' I said, giving him a small smile.

He inclined his head, seemingly pleased that he'd managed to curb my distress.

We sat there in a peaceful silence once that conversation was over. I drank all my tea then poured another cup for myself, after I'd refilled Kazama's cup, and then we ate the fruit I'd prepared. I was yet to make a start on the lunch we'd take to today's picnic but I already knew what I'd make; chicken dumplings. From what I'd seen he enjoyed them immensely, as there was rarely anything left in his bowl on the nights I cooked them, but I'd never actually heard him say they were his favourite meal. Instead it had been our daughter's apparition in Yamamura that had first brought it to my attention.

To think that was already so long ago. It was strange to think about how our relationship had changed between then and now. I hadn't even known he was the man from my memories when I'd been in Yamamura. And now…

Well, we were practically living as man and wife.

Suddenly Kazama's voice broke the silence. 'So.' He began, leaning back on his arms once he'd finished his tea. 'Have you got anything special planned for us today? Since you were so adamant to go on this date.' He teased, his eyes sparking with mischief.

I rolled my eyes, not willing to humour him even though it was his birthday. 'First of all, it's not a date. And no. It will just be a picnic on the sand and an oni lesson apparently. You said you were going to teach me how to use my oni speed.' I reminded him, keeping his gaze so he knew I was serious. There was no way I was letting him take back his word on something like this.

Now it was Kazama's turn to roll his eyes. 'Yes, yes. I did promise, and I will follow through on it, Chizuru. After all, I wouldn't want you accidentally using it while out in public. Now that I know you are capable of using your oni speed it would be wise for me to train you in how to control it.' He said.

I doubted I would ever use it accidentally but he did have a point. 'Good.' I said, collecting his cup and placing it back on the tray.

Kazama silently watched me pack up the dishes. He made no move to help, not that I expected help anyway. Instead he leaned back and watched me, one sleeve of his yukata hanging off his shoulder and almost a whole leg exposed. It was almost impressive how little Kazama cared about people seeing him in such positions, but I couldn't deny I considered it pleasing. I'd always found him exceptionally attractive.

Quickly standing up before I lost my mind, I brought the tray up with me. 'Alright, well. I'm going to wash these dishes and prepare our lunch for today. Make sure you're ready to leave by noon.' I said, looking down at him.

He nodded, a charming smirk upon his lips. 'Of course. You will likely see me up before then anyway, Chizuru, but I shall be ready to leave by then. I'm looking forward to our date.' He purred, making no move to pull his yukata fabric back over his exposed leg. His skin was paler than mine, as smooth as porcelain.

Trying not to blush, I nodded my head in acknowledgment. 'I'll see you soon.' I said.

And with that I left his room, trying my hardest not to look back at the haughty, attractive oni staring back at me.

* * *

I took in a deep breath, drawing in the smell of nature.

It was such a beautiful day. I thanked the heavens that the weather had turned out all right, because the day would have been ruined if it had have been raining or cold.

Kazama and I were currently travelling to the beach on horseback. When asked why he'd wanted to take Yuki with us instead of walking, Kazama had replied that he had a special beach in mind that was more secluded than the ones closer to Aomori. I would never admit it to Kazama but I was glad he'd picked a more secluded beach. I didn't want to have to share a space with anyone especially when we were going to use our oni powers. There would be nothing more inconvenient that having to stay alert when we were supposed to be relaxing.

Suddenly Kazama sighed from behind me, as he'd let me take the reins today. 'We are almost there, Chizuru.' He said.

I nodded, aware that we'd been travelling for about 20 minutes already, but I didn't mind. I was in no hurry to get to the beach because I knew we'd have the whole day there. My only concern was that the dumplings, rice and vegetables would get cold.

Picking up the reins in my hand again, I stayed facing forwards as I spoke. 'How much longer exactly?' I asked curiously.

Kazama chuckled at my impatience. 'Maybe 5 minutes. I always forget how utterly impatient you are sometimes, kitten. All that matters is we will get there eventually.' He purred from behind me, skimming his fingertips across the back of my neck as he pushed my hair over one shoulder.

I shuddered at the touch, like I used to do when we'd begun the journey, but it was no longer from repulsion. 'I just don't want the food to get cold.' I grumbled as he continued to fondle my hair, but Kazama didn't seem as distraught by the idea of cold food as I was. 'If it's cold, then it's cold. It's still food. The real topic of interest right now is _this_.' He said, running the ends of my hair though his fingers.

Kazama smirked as I tried to swat his fingers away, but he dodged them. 'You are wearing your hair down today, I see. It is indeed a pleasing sight and one I do not have the pleasure of seeing often. Your hair has grown longer since we commenced the journey. I approve.' He noted with satisfaction.

He was right, naturally. Although my hair wouldn't be considered long, as such, it now reached just below my shoulder blades. I'd worn it down because, well, I'd _known_ he would like it. Although I hadn't expected he'd be trying to touch it as much as he had been.

I sighed, grabbing his hand and moving it back down to rest on the saddle. 'Do you ever keep your hands to yourself?' I muttered, taking the reins into my hands and hoping he wouldn't try to touch me again.

I could practically _hear_ his smirk from behind me. 'Not when I don't need to, Chizuru, especially when I know you enjoy it. But banter aside, this is the path you need to go down. Right here.' He said, reaching forward to gesture a trail that headed west. At the moment we were travelling parallel to the sea but it wasn't in our view yet. We were still in the forest.

I did as he said without retaliating to his taunt, urging Yuki to turn down the path. It wasn't a long path but it was quite steep, as we had to descend half a mountain before we reached the ocean. Already I was struggling not to bounce up and down in my seat. I'd wanted to go to the beach since we'd first arrived at Aomori as I'd only ever been to a beach a few times, but they were never as pretty as the ones in this region. I thought I was going to die of anticipation.

As Kazama promised, it was about 5 minutes until I saw the first shades of blue. The forest was beginning to thin out the closer we got to the sea and the path was changing from hard dirt to light brown sand, indicating that we were nearing the shore.

When we finally broke through the last of the trees it was like I was seeing something from a dream. There was no end to the blue waves in front of us. The beach itself was actually a very small bay in the shape of a horseshoe and lined with pristine white sand. The sand gradually became forest the further away it got from the water, and I was surprised by how steep the mountains were now that I could see them clearly. They encircled the bay like massive, green walls.

'Oh wow.' I breathed as we finally came to a stop on the edge of the forest.

Kazama immediately dismounted, swinging one leg over Yuki's side. 'Is this adequate, Chizuru?' He asked, offering to help me down.

I swung my legs over Yuki's side, too fixated on the environment to blush when he helped me down by the waist. 'It's amazing. I've never seen a beach like it before.' I said breathlessly, my feet sinking into the warm sand. I was entirely transfixed by our surroundings.

Kazama seemed pleased that he'd chosen a suitable location. 'Good. We won't be bothered here either.' He sighed, giving me a look that made my mouth go dry, but it continued before I could infer the meaning of his comment. 'Anyway, I will remove Yuki's saddle and tie her up. You prepare our food.' He ordered.

I nodded, reaching for the food baskets tied to Yuki's side. The first one contained all the food I'd brought, and the second one contained some extra surprises for Kazama. One of those was of course his yukata and haori, wrapped up in thin black paper to protect it from dust, and the other was a bottle of expensive sake I'd practically had to sell my soul for. I'd even bought a set of two ceramic cups to go with it, both hand-painted with blue koi fish.

I really hoped he liked it.

I picked up both baskets and carried them over to a spot in the sun, halfway between the forest and the waterline. Looking over my shoulder, I made sure Kazama wasn't looking before I quickly reached into the second basket and pulled out a large square blanket that we could sit on. I'd also bought this for today as well, although it wasn't a gift for Kazama. It was just so we didn't have to sit on the sand.

Once the rug was laid out, I placed the baskets on top and began to assemble our meal. I had spared no expense with today's selection of food. I had steamed rice, chicken dumplings, homemade takoyaki and assorted vegetable dishes. Kazama normally ate a lot anyway but I predicted that even he'd have trouble finishing everything. Although whatever he didn't eat I knew I'd finish.

Suddenly a shadow blocked out the sun, a shadow in the shape of Kazama. 'Will I get to eat any of this?' He sighed as he sat down on the rug directly opposite me.

I rolled my eyes. Kazama always enjoyed teasing me about how much I ate.

Ignoring his comment, I scooped a few of everything into a bowl and handed it to him. 'Here.' I said, placing the rice into a separate bowl. He took it from me without comment, acknowledging the action with a tilt of his head instead.

I served my own food as well, wondering when I'd give him his gifts. I knew I should at least give him the sake so he could enjoy it with his meal. But would I say happy birthday now or later? I thought back to what he'd done for me at my birthday. He'd given me the gift first, then when I'd asked what it was for, he'd said something that had stuck with me to this day.

 _What kind of husband would I be if I forgot my wife's birthday?_

It had taken me by surprise, not just because he'd secretly known it was my birthday, but because it communicated that he thought about me. He'd shown me that he'd taken that day into consideration and gotten me something that showed he really did care. And if I used that same line on him…

Well, I could only imagine his expression.

Just before Kazama went to start eating, I raised my hand. 'Wait!' I said.

His eyes raised to meet mine, his food already halfway to his mouth. I could tell I'd startled him, or at least confused him. He lowered his food without even being asked to as he waited for an explanation.

Before I could chicken out, I pulled the porcelain sake bottle out of the basket. 'Here. I got this for you.' I said, placing the bottle on the rug.

Kazama raised an eyebrow and placed his bowl of food back on the ground. 'Is that so? Is there a particular reason, or are you just trying to get me intoxicated so you can take advantage of me?' He asked, looking at me through half-lidded eyes.

My blush deepened, but I made sure I didn't look away from him. I knew his reaction would be worth it.

'Well, Kazama-san.' I began, pulling out the two ceramic cups. 'What kind of wife would I be if I forgot my husband's birthday?'

That completely wiped the smirk off his face.

The only other time I'd seen such a drastic expression change was when I'd told him I knew he'd lied about not knowing who gave me my bracelet. But even though I'd seen such a change before, it didn't make it any less satisfying. In fact, I swore I could see some redness forming along his cheekbones.

Kazama blinked once after a whole 30 seconds had passed, but still he said nothing. I couldn't tell what had shocked him the most; secretly knowing it was his birthday, or the fact that, for the first time ever, I'd referred to myself as his wife. Although I was absolutely mortified and would probably come to regret it later, even I had to admit that anything that ensued would be worth it.

So, hiding a smug smile, I started to pour him a cup of sake.

After a whole minute, Kazama finally shifted in place. 'Hmm. You knew.' He stated, taking the sake cup off me when I offered it to him.

I was then unable to hide my smile. 'I've known for a long time.' I said, picking up my own food. My cheeks were still burning but I didn't really care, considering that he too seemed to be blushing. Even though the redness on his face was already practically gone, I would have embarrassed myself a hundred times over just to see that sight. I was actually quite humbled that I'd caused that reaction in him.

Kazama narrowed his eyes, taking a slow sip of his sake. 'I see. Amagiri, I presume?' He asked, not bothering to wait for a response because he already knew the answer. 'So this is why you were so adamant to go to the beach. And it also explains why you've been so secretive these past few days.' He said, placing his cup down so he could begin to eat.

I swallowed a mouthful of chicken dumpling, pushing my hair behind my ear. 'Well… it wasn't easy keeping it a secret, considering you're so _nosy_.' I said light-heartedly, raising my eyes to meet his. 'But I wanted to do this also to show you that I really appreciate everything you've done for me on this journey, Kazama-san. I couldn't have made it here without your help.' I murmured, no longer able to maintain eye contact.

I'd never been good with heartfelt sentiments, especially when it came to Kazama, but I'd known it needed to be said. After all, how could I leave him tomorrow without letting him know how thankful I was? I may have been timid in sharing my feelings but I wasn't rude. Kazama deserved to know that I appreciated everything he'd done for me.

What I hadn't been expecting, however, was Kazama's reaction.

I was just about to shovel another mouthful of food into my mouth when Kazama reached over and placed his hand on my knee. I looked at him in surprise, only to see he was already staring at me. So unusual was the look on his face that I couldn't turn away from him.

He then lowered his eyes, which was a rare enough occasion to make me put down my chopsticks. 'Thank you, Chizuru. And you're welcome, of course, for the journey.' He said, reinstating eye contact once he'd finished his display of gratitude.

Blinking slowly, I watched Kazama pull back his hand and begin eating again. It was always a sobering sight when I saw Kazama act so serious. But I wasn't finished yet. There was still one last gift to give.

Once I'd finished my bowl of rice, I put it down on the rug. 'Actually, there's one more thing.' I said, bringing the basket closer to me.

Kazama had also finished eating and he put his bowl down too. 'Something else? You must be really trying to impress me.' He said, his eyes darting from my face to the basket I was now opening.

I was nervous now more than ever. This wasn't just something I'd bought from a shop; it was something I'd poured my whole heart into, a gift I'd tried to make as perfect as possible. I knew I was probably being irrational but it had only just hit me how devastated I would be if he didn't like it. Some part of me didn't want to look at his face when I gave it to him.

I flipped the lip off the basket. 'It's just another thing to say thank you and happy birthday. I… I hope you like it.' I mumbled the last sentence almost unintelligibly as I reached inside, my fingers finding the thin black paper I'd wrapped the clothing in.

Kazama said nothing; instead he watched with silent curiosity as I pulled the folded package out into the daylight.

Unable to take it anymore, I passed him the bundle. 'Here.' I said.

Kazama took the paper-wrapped bundle from my hands and placed it in his lap, his astute eyes narrowing in curiosity. 'Hmm. Are you going to tell me what it is before I open it?' He asked, raising his eyes to look at me.

I just shook my head. 'Nope. You can open it and see it for yourself.'

He didn't say anything in response as he finally undid a corner of the paper. Inch by inch, the fabric of his haori was exposed, shining a deep blue in the sunlight. I'd never held the haori out in direct light before so I hadn't been able to see just how vibrant the colour would be, or how well the silver threading would shine. The gold hemming stood out too as he unravelled the item of clothing and held it up, the silver embroidered leaves on full display. I'd centered them around the bottom of the haori and around the sleeves.

As he inspected it, it was like torture waiting for him to say something. As usual, he was guarding his emotions so I couldn't gauge how he felt. Did he like it? Did he hate it? I didn't know, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to know.

I swallowed, my palms beginning to sweat. 'I made it myself, in addition to the yukata and obi.' I stammered as his ruby eyes flickered to me as I spoke. 'I also used the spider thread that Yui gave me in Yamamura. You can't see the thread at the moment because it's translucent but you will once night falls.' I murmured.

Kazama placed the fabric to his side once he'd finished inspecting everything. I thought he was going to speak but he didn't. Instead he looked back at me, inspecting my gaze for a moment, for long enough that I was beginning to get uncomfortable.

I didn't want to accept the possibility that he disapproved.

Suddenly he gestured for me to come closer, his eyes never leaving me. 'Come here, Chizuru.' He said, placing his hand on the rug next to him.

My heart was about ready to jump out of my mouth from fear. But I did what he said, unable to resist his beckoning. I didn't know what to expect and that made it a million times worse as I sat down beside him, staring sullenly down at the rug like I was being punished.

Before he could speak, I did. 'Do you like it?' I murmured, deciding to get straight to the point or I'd explode. However, if he said that he didn't then I'd probably do something stupid like start crying.

Suddenly his fingers were under my chin, lifting my head so I met his eyes. 'Of course I like it.' He sighed, chastising me for looking so dejected, before his face softened yet again. 'I'm honoured that you spent so long making something like this for me. Truly.' He said, his thumb sliding over my lips.

I was so relieved that my whole body relaxed. I hadn't even realised how tense I'd been until now.

'Oh.' I said, finally smiling. 'I'm glad.'

Kazama nodded in acknowledgment, wrapping up his haori, yukata and obi back into the black paper. 'I noticed that you chose your clan colour for the haori, too. Are you trying to tell me something?' He asked, his lips curling upwards in his typical suggestiveness.

He'd recovered from his birthday surprises and now he was back to being his usual, provocative self.

I watched as he placed the clothes back in the second basket, giving him a look. 'I just thought the colour was nice. That's all.' I said, realising that he was right. That colour was exactly the same as my clan colour; royal blue.

Kazama smirked, responding with a lazy shrug. 'Huh. I'm not sure if you can make those excuses anymore. It was not yet 5 minutes ago that you referred to yourself as my wife and I your husband. I look forward to sharing our engagement with the others tonight.'

'We're not engaged, Kazama-san.' I interjected, shaking my head as I saw his joy at my frustration. 'I was merely echoing what you did to me on my birthday. And I got a similar reaction, mind you.' I said, pointing at his face to remind him of his shocked expression and red cheeks just moments ago.

Kazama narrowed his eyes, but his haughty demeanour didn't change. 'Well, Chizuru, you surely cannot blame me. I have waited _years_ for you to accept yourself as my wife. What a lovely birthday present it was.'

I just rolled my eyes. There was no winning this game, but I didn't mind this time. No matter how much he tried to put the embarrassment back on me, the reality was that I'd gotten the reaction from him that I'd wanted. I may have to pay the price for that for a while but I'd already accepted it.

When I said nothing, Kazama chuckled. 'In any case, now that we have finished lunch I believe it is the perfect time to begin the promised oni lesson. Let us make the most of the daylight and privacy while we can.' He announced.

As soon as he'd finished speaking, I was already prepared. I quickly shovelled the last of the dishes into the basket and stood up, ushering him off the blanket so I could fold it.

Kazama did as he was told, standing to the side and watching me pack up our picnic in a flurry. 'I must admit, Chizuru.' He began, finishing off the last of the sake in his cup. 'At the start of the journey I had presumed I'd end up teaching you how to use your oni powers. Whether that would have been because you'd ask or because I would have made you learn, I wasn't sure. But what I hadn't planned for was how quickly you'd learn them. If someone have asked me all those months ago where I thought you'd be right now, I would have said you would just finished how to learn your telepathy.' He said idly, one hand on his katana and the other on his sake cup.

I straightened myself out once I was finished packing up the picnic, wondering where he was going with this.

He was already staring in my direction when I looked at him, the light making his eyes shine blood red. 'And yet here you are. About to learn how to use your oni speed. It's likely you will never know just how rare you are.' He sighed, placing down his sake cup on top of the basket.

Normally I would have scolded him for not placing the cup _inside_ the basket, but his words had rendered me mute. I couldn't believe that even after all this time he still thought I was special. He'd said it a million times before back when I'd been with the Shinsengumi, but then I thought he'd only said so because I was a female oni. But now I knew it was more than that; it had always been more than that.

He saw the potential in me that not even the Shinsengumi had seen.

I blushed, timidly reaching out to grab his hand. 'Thanks Kazama-san.' I said, giving him a small smile before I let him go again, but Kazama quickly retook my hand in his. 'There is no need to say thank you. There may be more compliments yet, depending on how you do in today's lesson. That will be the true test of your abilities.' He revealed, guiding my hand to his lips.

Blushing deeper, I couldn't look at him as he smirked against my skin, kissing my fingers briefly. 'So, are you ready?' He purred, the vibrations of his voice running through my bones.

I swallowed, salvaging all the concentration I had left. 'I'm ready.' I murmured.

Kazama then let go of my hand, deciding he'd teased me enough for now. 'Good. In that case, it would be wise for you to change into your oni form.' He advised, creating some distance between us.

I nodded, not even needing to close my eyes as I summoned the power into my blood. It burned through my veins like fire, filling me with strength that I'd once never known existed, before finally settling in every inch of my body.

My hair was the first to change, floating around my head like I was underwater. My sight improved next, then my claws sprouted. One by one all my features improved until I was standing before Kazama in an entirely new skin. A much paler, more powerful version of myself. And one that I'd come to think of as more beautiful too.

Kazama seemed to think so as well because it took him longer than usual to speak. 'Months have passed since I first saw you transform and yet it still feels like the first. Look at me.' Kazama ordered, reaching forward to secure my chin with his fingertips.

I sighed, allowing him to do his usual inspection of my face. 'Honestly, Kazama-san.' I mumbled, staring at his hair instead of his eyes.

Kazama pursed his lips, keeping his eyes on my face. 'You expect me not to reflect upon the beauty of my wife, Chizuru?' Was all he said, ignoring my stubborn look and rigid stance. However, the real reason for my resistance was not because I didn't want him to do it. It was because I probably liked it too much.

Eventually Kazama released my face, his hand dropping to seize my own. 'I suppose I should count my lucky stars as of late. You don't hit me away as often as you do used to, nor do you complain as much. Quite soon you will not complain at all.' He predicted cockily.

I rolled my eyes, but his words had some truth to them. Perhaps one day I wouldn't.

Kazama brought us to where the sand was damp and compacted tightly together. It was much cooler under my feet which I was grateful for. The sand further away from the water had been heated by the sun to the point where it would burn someone if they stood on it too long.

Once I was in place, Kazama began his instruction. 'Even though you used your oni speed yesterday, I doubt you know how to activate it again deliberately. That's what I'm going to teach you to today.' He said, making sure I was paying attention before he continued. 'In order to activate your oni speed you have to fill your whole body with your power. This is not only so you can project yourself at such speed, but also to protect yourself from injury. There's a real chance you could hurt yourself moving so quickly. That's why this empty bay is a perfect location for practice.' He said, gesturing around to the hundreds of metres of free space around us.

Kazama dropped his arms and looked at me. 'Once you've put all your energy into your body, you have to propel yourself to activate your speed like you did yesterday. After a while you won't need to do this anymore as it will require less effort to initiate.' He said, giving me a lopsided smile.

Before I knew it he was gone, disappeared right in front of my eyes, but he reappeared a millisecond later. 'See?' He said, holding up his left hand to show me a bracelet dangling from his fingers.

I gaped at him, staring down at my wrist. He'd taken my bracelet right from me! I hadn't seen or felt a thing!

Kazama chuckled as he saw my surprise. 'Soon you'll be able to do this too, although not to me, of course.' He said haughtily, stepping forward and gesturing for me to give him my arm.

I did so without resistance, watching him reattach my bracelet. 'Well, you were also adamant that I would never beat you at swordplay too. And yet look what happened yesterday.' I reminded him, giving him an innocent smile as he raised an eyebrow at me.

He easily detected the sassiness in my tone. 'Hmm. Well that _also_ won't happen again. But that reminds me. Have you thought of your request yet?' He asked, letting go of me once my bracelet was back on my wrist.

I shook my head, knowing that the anticipation was eating into him. 'Nope. Maybe I might save it for a time much later in the future, when you've forgotten that I have it. It depends on how difficult you plan on being as to whether I have to use it or not.' I said, deciding that wouldn't be a bad idea. Kazama was renown for being stubborn. A gift like this was therefore priceless.

This didn't seem to bother Kazama like I thought it would. ' _In the future_ , Chizuru? Is that so? I'm pleased to know that you see me still in your life at that point. I told you that you would mellow towards me.' He teased, finding a way to place the focus back on me again.

I let out an unladylike sigh, grabbing his hand as he went to reach out to me. 'Well, if you _are_ in my future, you're bound to be just as annoying!' I retorted, letting his hand go before getting into position, and Kazama seemed to find this exponentially amusing. 'Indeed, you are probably right. But I suppose I'm fortunate to have found a woman who finds it endearing.' He said, his eyes sparking with merriment at my growing frustration.

I would never get used to just how easily it was for him to push my buttons.

After he'd had a good few seconds to absorb my embarrassment, he finally released me from his taunts. 'Once you've stopped blushing then you can put my advice into practice, Chizuru. And don't worry. If you fall over I'll catch you.' He assured me, gesturing to the expanse of beach before me. If I did trip over then it would be truly unfortunate, as there was nothing to trip over.

I removed my hands from my hips, rolling my eyes at him, before I shifted my gaze to the sand before me. It was then that I did everything Kazama had said. I brought my power back up from the depths, admiring just how much power there was, before I sifted it into every part of me I could. My skin burned with this energy, from my head to my toes, and everything in between. I felt it settling between my organs and fortifying my lungs, protecting my body from the upcoming speed. Going at the speed of light was bound to cause some damage otherwise.

Once I was finished, I let out a short breath. I didn't wait for Kazama to tell me to go. I didn't need to. With all my strength, I pushed off the sand into a forceful run.

I expected to see the edges of my vision blur like they had yesterday, signifying I'd activated my oni speed, but nothing happened. It was quite obvious that I hadn't been successful. I tried not to be disheartened but I couldn't help but reflect on how easy it had been yesterday in comparison to today. Why had it even been activated yesterday?

I steadied myself immediately, turning around to face Kazama with a disappointed expression. 'It didn't work.' I remarked, crestfallen.

Kazama didn't seem surprised; he likely had known I wouldn't succeed on my first try. 'I can see. This time propel yourself forward but don't stop running if it doesn't work. Try and push some more power into your legs to make yourself go faster. That may trigger your oni speed.' He suggested.

I nodded, getting into position again. I knew I could do it this time. If I'd learned one thing on this journey, it was that I shouldn't doubt my abilities.

When I leapt forward the second time, I didn't stop running. I ran as fast as I could, feeling my obi start to loosen around my body due to my movement, but still I didn't stop. Nothing happened straight away but I only pushed myself harder, feeling Kazama's presence fading behind me as the distance between us grew greater.

I could do this. I'd done it yesterday without even trying.

Pushing more power into my legs, I drew in a sharp breath as I propelled myself forward using my oni strength. The sand crumbled under my feet with the force, spraying up behind me, but I didn't feel bad for messing up the beach; I couldn't, because I noticed soon after that the edges of my vision had finally started to blur.

Determined to keep it up, I pushed myself even harder. I wasn't going at full speed but I could tell I was travelling quick. I wasn't going so fast as to be invisible, probably, but I was going fast enough that no creature or human could hope to catch up to me. The forest was melting away to my left side and the water was now just a streak of blue to my right.

It was amazing. It was everything I thought it would be. I felt like I was in a dream state, watching everything fall away either side of me as I went faster and faster. I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to stop even though I must have been hundreds of metres away from Kazama now. I was so excited that my concentration was faltering and the only thing that stopped me from losing focus entirely was my determination to go faster.

Just as I was about to curve around the other side of the bay and continue running forever, a flash of gold passed me by.

By the time Kazama manifested a few hundred metres in front of me, I only had a few seconds to slow down. I let out a shriek as I pulled the energy out from my legs, my vision returning to normal and my legs struggling to keep up with the speed.

And as Kazama predicted, I tripped over my own legs and fell over.

Thankfully he was already there to catch me. He plucked me out of thin air and back onto my feet, making sure I was stable before he lessened his grip on my waist. No doubt he'd come after me because he'd known I would have kept on running until I'd either died or run out of coastline. But when I looked up at his face I could see he wasn't irritated or anything. He was already smirking.

Before he could speak I was already spluttering, my words almost incoherent in my excitement. 'Did you see me?! I did it! I was using my oni speed!' I practically yelled, panting from fatigue as I struggled to keep myself from collapsing. I'd failed to realise while running just how much energy I'd been using.

Kazama made sure I was settled before he let me go, smirking at the pure glee on my face. 'Indeed I saw it, Chizuru. Although you were nowhere near your full speed, you were going fast enough that you were only just a blur. In fact, if I hadn't have come to get you then I likely would have never seen you again.' He said, his eyes trailing down to my dishevelled kimono.

I looked down too, blushing as I noticed my obi was coming loose. I straightened it immediately but I still couldn't wipe the smile from my face. I wanted to scream and laugh and dance around, and I didn't even care that Kazama was there. I'd achieved something that I'd wanted to be able to do for years. And it had been more amazing than I'd ever thought it could be.

Once I was presentable, I looked up at Kazama with resolution. 'I want to do it again.' I said, practically an order.

Kazama merely turned me back around by the shoulders, forcing me to face our picnic area. 'And you shall. This time though don't pull the energy from your legs when you want to stop. The momentum of running at that speed makes it highly likely you'll break your legs if there's no power there to protect your bones if you fall. Instead reduce the power just enough that you slow down to a normal sprinting speed. Then you can stop yourself as normal.' He advised, letting my shoulders go as he moved to stand to my side.

I nodded, already eager to leave, but he spoke again before I could. 'I'll be waiting for you back at the picnic area. I'll catch you again if need be.' He promised.

Before I could roll my eyes or scoff, he had already disappeared, and it was not even a second later that I saw him reappear in the distance. The darkness of his haori stood out against the white sand, as did the golden shine of his hair. I couldn't wait until I could run that fast too. At the moment I wasn't near my full potential speed, which is why I was still slightly visible when I ran, but I was sure it would come with practice.

Taking in a deep breath, I readied myself once more. Without another moment of delay I'd already leapt forward with a burst of energy, my confidence fuelling the potency of the energy in my body. This time I was determined to activate my oni speed even quicker than last time.

My heart soared as I began to see the outside of my vision blur just seconds after I'd began to run. I fed more energy into my limbs, especially my legs, and urged myself to run even faster than I already was.

Soon after, the scenery started to blur again. I likened my vision to horse-riding when I was running this fast, because everything in front of me was perfectly clear but everything to the side was blurry. I knew exactly where I was going thanks to my oni vision. I could see every shell and rock wedged in the sand as I approached it, every groove in the ground that otherwise would have tripped me. At this speed I noted how truly remarkable my oni senses were.

After a few more seconds, I saw Kazama coming closer and closer. I didn't want to bash into him so I did as he'd instructed before. I slowly decreased the energy in my legs, feeling them grow weaker and weaker, and even though I really didn't want to stop I felt myself growing slower. Soon enough my vision returned back to normal and I began to pant, eventually coming to an unsteady halt right before Kazama's feet.

I doubled over, wiping the sweat from my head that had began to gather. 'I… did it.' I announced, straightening after a while and letting out an exhausted breath. Not only had I once again activated my oni speed but I'd also managed to slow down naturally too. Thankfully Kazama hadn't needed to catch me that time.

Kazama nodded, gesturing for me to sit down on the side. 'You did do it. Now it's time for a break.' He said, seeing that I was about to collapse.

I did what he said even though I didn't want to, flopping down on the sand in exhaustion. Using my oni speed wasn't as tiring as using my forcefields but it still used enough energy that I wouldn't be able to do it for long period of time. At least not when I wasn't used to using it.

Once I caught my breath, I tightened my obi again when I saw it had come loose. 'Can we try again?' I asked, trying to keep my breathing under control.

Kazama appeared sceptical. 'Not quite yet, Chizuru. But perhaps we could work on another aspect of your oni speed?' He suggested, attracting my attention. He knew I'd be eager to learn anything at the moment.

I nodded eagerly, but I wasn't sure what he meant by 'another aspect'.

Kazama suddenly reached up to his neck, beginning to untie his neck band. 'Oni speed isn't just about running. It's also about adding speed to your other body parts in order to improve your reaction time.' He said, holding up his neck band. 'This is a trick my father taught me when he was teaching me how to use my oni speed. I'm going to drop my neck band and you have to catch it before it hits the ground. Not only does it improve how long it takes for you to activate your oni speed, but it improves your reaction time. Here. You take it. I'll demonstrate first.' He said, handing the band to me.

I took it from him, noticing it was really warm. 'Ok. What do I do?' I asked, looking back at Kazama.

He was already looking at me, sitting in seiza on the sand. 'Raise it up in the air and drop it. I'll show you how quick an oni's reaction time can be with practice.' He said.

I didn't question him further, raising the neck band up in the air and getting ready to drop it. He gave a short nod when it was in position, letting me know he was ready, and so I wasted no time in letting it go.

I didn't even have time to see it fall before it had disappeared.

I frowned, looking at Kazama, who was already smirking. The neck band was already around his neck. He'd even tied it as normal.

Smiling, I couldn't wait to try myself. 'Can I try?' I asked, and Kazama took the band off again. 'Of course. All you need to do is put your energy into your arm and move it as quickly as possible to grasp the object. The faster you go, the more likely your oni speed will be activated. This may be hard for you, however, since you have the tendency to be slow.' He teased, earning a light-hearted glare from me.

When I looked at him that he was just trying to provoke me. 'I'm ready.' I said, ignoring his taunt.

Kazama merely chuckled, raising the neck band. He held it a lot higher than I'd held it for him, probably because he knew it would take longer for me to activate my oni speed. But I was going to show him that I could do this.

When I gave a nod, he let the band fall.

My oni eyes locked onto it immediately. I noticed it seemed to be falling a lot slower than it normally would be, due to my improved sight, but I didn't have enough time to watch it drop.

I quickly reached out to try and snatch it from the air, pushing all my available energy into my arm to grasp it. I felt my fingers brush against it as it fell past my grasp, but at the last moment I managed to secure the end of the cord with my fingers.

Gasping as I realised I succeeded, I held up the band. 'I caught it.' I highlighted, throwing the band back to him.

He caught it easily, going to raise it again. 'Indeed you did. But this time I'll decrease the distance between the ground and the band. It will be much harder.' He predicted, waiting until I was ready.

It was only when he dropped the band for the second time that I realised how quick I needed to be. I didn't even have enough time to watch the band fall. Without hesitation I swiped towards it, my fingers clipping the cord, and it was only by the grace of the universe that I managed to secure it.

Kazama took the band from me once I held it up, a chuckle rumbling in his chest. 'That success was only wrought by luck.' He said, also aware that it was only by pure chance that I'd caught it.

I was satisfied with my triumph nonetheless. 'A success is still a success.' I said.

Kazama tied the neck band back around his neck, looking at me with a mix of amusement and jest. 'I suppose it is. And it's a good way to end an oni lesson. You did exceptionally well today for an ability so complex.' He said, leaning back on his arms.

I idly combed my fingers through my silver locks, taming the windswept strands. 'Thank you, Kazama-san. It certainly was easier than I was expecting. Hopefully I don't forget how to do it before I get back to Kyoto.' I said, my smile slowly fading as I came to a new realisation. This was probably my last oni lesson with Kazama. Who knew how long it would be until I got to explore my powers like this again. I was likely unable to do it around the Shinsengumi as I wasn't sure if it would freak them out.

Kazama appeared to know exactly what I was thinking. 'You won't forget anything if you keep on practicing, regardless of who you're around. On your way back to Kyoto with those dogs you must still practice every chance you get. Be proud of what you can do.' He advised, his voice stern.

He was right. I wouldn't let the others stop me from practicing my abilities, even though I knew it would surprise them though to learn that I'd been taught them. The last time they saw me I was just plain, old human-like Chizuru.

For a while afterwards Kazama and I just sat in a comfortable silence. It was fun to be with Kazama like this. Whenever we were both in this playful mood it was always pleasant to be around him, joshing each other and amusing ourselves. It was happening more and more these days which I was pleased about.

I lowered my eyes, still smiling, and stared idly at my hands in my lap. Now that I'd been with a man who I could have fun with, it occurred to me that Hijikata and I had never really had such moments. Sure, I'd liked being around him and we'd laughed together occasionally. But the things that Kazama and I had done together, such as horse riding and oni lessons, those were more than just laughter. They were activities where we'd really bonded and gotten to know each other. I hadn't known how important these activities had been for me until I'd experienced them with Kazama.

When I looked at him from behind my lashes, he was staring out at the sea. The wind tousled his hair gently and the sunlight lit up his eyes, reminding me once more that there were seldom men on this earth more beautiful. With such a gentle expression on his face, my attraction to him was undeniable.

Sensing that I was staring at him, his ruby eyes shifted to my pink ones. I immediately turned away and stared back out at the sea, trying to think of something to say now that he was looking at me too. Now that we'd eaten and finished our oni lesson it had finally occurred to me that we had the whole day to ourselves. What were we going to do?

Licking my lips nervously, I vouched to speak before he could. 'So… what do you want to do now?' I asked, hoping he'd have a legitimate suggestion.

Kazama thankfully looked back at the water, sparing me from his heated gaze. 'I thought you would have had it all planned out, considering today was your idea?' He teased, chuckling at my unimpressed expression. I'd known he'd give me a sassy response.

Picking up a random seashell, I fiddled with it in my hands. 'Well, it is _your_ birthday, after all. What do you want to do?' I mumbled, softly brushing the sand off the shell.

Kazama gave a half-shrug, slipping into silence while he thought. I was both afraid and relieved that he seemed to be taking my question seriously. I hoped he'd actually provide something serious instead of suggestive, like I half expected him to.

Just in case that happened I was already thinking of things myself. Perhaps we could go for a walk along the beach? Take Yuki for a beach ride? I was pretty sure he'd agree to either of them. Really, we had the time to do _both_ of them if we wanted.

But just before I could put either of them into words, Kazama provided his own suggestion. 'Would you care to join me in the water, Chizuru?'

I frowned, in no way expecting that those would be his next words. What did he mean 'join him in the water'? Was he implying that he wanted us just to get our feet wet, or go knee-deep, or actually _swim_?

'What?' I asked unceremoniously, my frown growing deeper as I turned to stare at him.

Kazama had expected such a reaction so his response was quick. 'I asked if you would like to join me in the water. It is only fitting to swim since we are at the beach, is it not?' He suggested, motioning to endless blue water in front of us.

Indeed it was a lovely day to go swimming but I was entirely unprepared for such a thing. I did not bring any swimming clothes or anything to change into, nor anything to dry myself off. And neither had he.

My frown grew deeper. 'But I have nothing to swim in, and I certainly don't want to ruin my kimono. And besides, you have nothing to wear or change into either.' I said, peering down at the very expensive fabric I was wearing after gesturing to his own outfit.

Kazama gave me a lopsided smile. 'Are you forgetting the gift you gave to me?' He asked simply, tilting his head towards the basket that held his new yukata and haori.

He had a convenient point, but that still didn't address the issue of what I would change into.

I began to scratch the sand with the seashell, choosing to look down at that instead of him. 'Well, you can go swimming if you like. But I have nothing to change into, and once again, I don't want to get this kimono wet. ' I sighed, stretching my legs out in front of me. I had no problems with Kazama going swimming by himself. I was more than happy to sit on the beach and soak up the sun. It was his birthday, after all, so I was going to let him do as he wished.

Kazama raised his eyebrow, keeping his eyes fixed on me even though I wasn't returning the eye contact. 'Are you not wearing anything under your kimono, Chizuru?' He said, pointing to my clothes.

I went red. He seriously wasn't suggesting I swim in my nagajuban? Although it covered me from head to toe like a normal kimono, it was practically like swimming in my underwear. Not to mention it was thinner than paper. It wasn't likely to leave much to imagination, particularly when wet.

Kazama smirked at the look on my face, continuing before I could splutter a response. 'Come now, don't give me that look. You presented me with a problem and I gave you a solution, did I not? If it means so much to you then you can wear my haori over it too.' He suggested, slipping it off his shoulders in one smooth motion.

I narrowed my eyes at the innocent look on his face as he handed me his haori. Realistically speaking, if I wore his haori over my nagajuban then he wouldn't be able to see anything. It was indeed a solution to my problem, and a good one too, and once I'd gotten out of the water then I could just wear my kimono on its own with no problems.

Sighing, I decided I could suck it up just for today, for him. I would probably come to regret this decision later on but I couldn't deny I was somewhat eager. It had been so long since I'd swam. I'd been dying to do it again and I was grateful that I got to do it today when it was such lovely weather.

I pressed my fingers to my forehead in defeat. 'Fine.' I groaned, shaking my head in disbelief.

Now that Kazama had succeeded, he shed his sheep's clothing. 'Good. ' He said, flashing me a devilish smile.

I didn't return the joy. Instead I narrowed my eyes even more as he stood up and brushed the sand from his yukata. He then chuckled at my silence, holding out his hand for me to take, and I reluctantly accepted his offer of help.

He hauled me off the sand and into a standing position, where he made sure I was steady before he let me go. 'I suppose I'll meet you in the water, then?' He asked, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

I sighed, giving him a sharp glare. 'Yes. And don't watch me change.' I warned him, knowing that he probably wouldn't have done so anyway. I just wanted to make sure he knew the rules.

Kazama inclined his head, going to turn his back on me. 'I'll try not to.' He said, before turning around entirely.

I watched him saunter over to the water, waiting a few seconds to make sure he wouldn't turn around, before I begrudgingly began to unclothe. I told myself that the sooner I was undressed the better because it meant there was less of a chance for him to see me, whether it was deliberate or not.

The obi came off first and I placed it in the basket that held Kazama's clothes. Double checking that Kazama wasn't looking still, I peeled off my kimono robes and folded them into a neat pile. Never in my wildest dreams had I ever imagined I'd be standing on a beach in my underwear with Kazama just a few metres from me.

Lastly I threw on his haori over my nagajuban, silently remarking how it was still warm. I envied Kazama's ability to never grow cold. Being wrapped up like this in his clothing, I knew how pleasant it must have felt to be so heated all the time. He was beginning to enter the water now, the bottom of his yukata becoming increasing soaked with water the deeper he went.

I steadily made my way over to the water's edge, my feet sinking into the wet sand as I grew close. Even though it was a little strange knowing I was about to swim with Kazama, I was secretly relieved to do so. All I wanted was for him to have fun today and going swimming with him was the least I could do if it would make him happy. Besides, it wasn't like we had anything better to do. Beach walks were nice but swimming was much better.

The first wave brushed over my feet, pushing sand between my toes. The water was colder than I was expecting but it certainly wasn't unbearable. I would get used to it pretty quickly as I had experienced much worse.

Kazama was now up to his knees in the water, waiting for me to join him before he went any deeper. 'Can I turn around now?' He asked, still facing away from me.

I sighed, wrapping the haori tighter around myself. 'Yes.' I answered simply, coming to stand by his side. He looked at me once I'd joined him, smiling mischievously as he basked in the sight of me in his haori, and I merely shook my head. He was so easily pleased.

He took a step deeper into the ocean, pulling me along with him. 'Perhaps we should see who is the faster swimmer?' He teased rhetorically, trying to coax me more into the ocean.

I sucked in a sharp breath as the water hit my stomach, making my muscles seize because of the temperature. 'Let's not do that.' I muttered, pulling my hand away from his so he couldn't force me along with him anymore. I was doing this at my own pace, not his, or I would likely freeze to death. Not everyone had the luxury of never being able to be cold like he did.

Kazama chuckled as he noticed my body going rigid. 'Just submerge yourself all at once. You'll be cold for a few seconds but you'll get used to it quickly. You're just prolonging the torment by entering the water slowly. And if you're too slow then I'll have to throw you in myself.' He chastised, sinking down to his shoulders.

I gave him a sharp glare, warning him that if he did so then all hell would break loose.

Eventually I waded in up to my armpits, grumbling as the water rushed over my shoulders. My body was acclimatising rapidly which I was grateful for. Once I got over the initial sting I realised the temperature was quite nice.

Once I was submerged up to my neck, I turned to look at Kazama. He was already doing his own thing, wading a few metres away from me. In one graceful motion he pushed himself underwater, coming up almost instantly and shaking the water from his hair. I'd forgotten how dark his hair got when it was wet. It looked closer to a dark brown than blond.

Deciding to get it over and done with too, I also dove underneath the water's surface. I kept my eyes closed so the salt didn't sting them, but my fingers brushed the rocks and sand at the ocean floor before I made an effort to go back up again. I'd dove deeper than Kazama had and I could sense him watching me as I reappeared, although I did so much less gracefully than he had.

As I emerged, I tried not to choke as water and hair tried to slip past my lips. 'Ugh.' I spluttered, struggling to get my hair out of my face. I hadn't realised how much of an inconvenience it would be to coax wet hair away from my oni horns.

Suddenly two warm hands joined my own, and soon enough the curtain of hair over my eyes was removed enough for me to see Kazama. 'Next time face upwards as you surface so your hair doesn't get caught on your horns.' He chastised, removing his hands from my face when I could see again.

I blushed, peering at the white strands floating in the water. 'Thanks.' I murmured, wishing I'd brought a hair band instead. I should have tied up my hair before I entered the water. That would have been the smart thing to do.

Kazama smirked, sinking back down until his chin hit the water. 'You're welcome.'

Once he finished talking, we stood there in silence with the waves tugging at our hair and clothes. He was so close that I could feel his heat diffusing into the water and his haori seemed to trap it too, keeping the warmth close to my body.

I licked the salty water from my lips, noticing curiously that his hair was already starting to dry. 'So what did you normally do for your birthday back in Akimura?' I asked, wondering if it had been a big occasion.

Kazama stayed close to me but his eyes were idly watching the waves break in the distance. 'Generally we have a village festival during the evening. There would be a banquet in the main hall and my family would organise a special show, either a musical performance or a short theatrical play. But it was always a much more lavish occasion during my father's birthdays. He enjoyed the attention, whereas I do not.' He said simply.

I nodded, trying to picture it in my head. 'What do you miss most about it? Akimura, I mean.' I clarified, keeping my eyes trained on him.

Kazama's eyes flickered to me, his body still mostly submerged. 'Hmm. There are many things I miss about it, Chizuru. Oni lifestyles are very different to humans'. You had a taste of that in Yamamura.' He sighed, tightening the cord on his neck band when he'd remarked it had come lose.

I watched his graceful fingers as he tied a new knot. I had indeed had a taste of the oni lifestyle in Yamamura. Life had been much simpler there; no one had been preoccupied with money or material goods, and everyone was always willing to help another out. They each played their own part in making sure the village and everyone in it functioned as a whole. That was the sort of place I'd always dreamt about being a part of.

I let out a soft sigh, internally comparing that simplicity to the fast-paced bustle of Kyoto. 'It must be hard living away from your village for so long.' I mused, more so a thought rather than something I wanted him to reply to.

But he did reply. 'Well, perhaps it used to be.' He began, smirking as he edged a little closer. 'But if I hadn't have left then I likely would never have found you. And you've served to be quite the amusing past-time.' He purred, taking my hand in his even though it was underwater.

I narrowed my eyes at him but I made no move to pull my hand away. 'I'm not a past-time.' I grumbled, my eyes growing narrower as he tugged me even closer. In the water there was little I could do to get away from him, not that I wanted to anyway, partially because he was so warm.

Kazama just chuckled, ignoring my less-than-pleased expression. 'I beg to differ. I dislike the thought of what this journey would have been without your presence. Mind-numbing, I presume, especially in Shiranui's company.' He sighed, his hand still holding mine.

I was having trouble looking at him because he was so close, but I did so anyway. 'Shiranui's not that bad.' I said, finding it amusing how much Kazama disapproved of him, and he sent me a sharp look in response. 'That's because you haven't been stuck with him for several years like I have. But I _have_ noticed that you and him have become rather… friendly.' He noted, his face growing even sourer.

I tried not to roll my eyes. Not even my friendships with other people were safe from his jealousy.

Shrugging, I humoured him. 'I suppose that's true. He's fun to be around.' I stated, brushing a strand of wet hair over my shoulder.

Kazama's eyes flickered to my floating hair, but he was still focused on our conversation. 'And am I not?' He asked simply as he moved closer.

My cheeks were getting warmer as he approached but I didn't move away. My only response to his question was a sarcastic half-shrug, designed to irk him, and it worked. Kazama's pride demanded that he would be more appealing to me in every way when compared to everyone else, particularly someone who annoyed him as much as Shiranui.

'Hmm.' He began, one hand lifting from the water to possessively grasp my chin. 'I already know the answer to my question anyway. I can see you enjoy our time together. That much you can't refute.' He said, letting my chin go and inviting me to respond.

He was right of course, and he'd known it all along. 'I guess it's ok.' I said, peering up at him to see his smug expression. I too was sporting my own version of a smug smile, satisfied with knowing that there were certain topics that could ire him.

Kazama retook my hand underwater, smirking at the look on my face. 'Your boldness is another reason why this journey has been so pleasant, Chizuru. There are few people who would deliberately try to irritate me. Interestly enough, it's also the same reason that makes you so suitable to be my wife.' He said.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the wife comment but I didn't say anything. He probably wasn't too far off the truth. After all, how useful would a wife be that just kept her mouth shut and let her husband do whatever he wanted, especially when he was in charge of his own clan? A wife who didn't let her husband know when he was out of line was no wife that I would ever want to be. And I was pretty confident in assuming that Kazama didn't want such a wife either.

When I was silent, Kazama tilted my chin so I was forced to look at him. 'And to think that after tomorrow I will no longer be able to experience it. At least not for a while. I can't deny I wished there was just a few more weeks left ahead of us even though we've been travelling for so long.' He said, his fingers growing a bit softer on my chin.

When he'd finished speaking, I peered up at him. I wanted to tell him that I wished for the same thing. Of course I was excited to see the Shinsengumi, but after this journey I feared for what would happen to Kazama and I. I knew he'd come back for me, like he kept on promising, but he never specified how long he'd make us both wait.

Swallowing, I tried to make my question sound non-chalant. 'So… how long will you spend in your clan?' I asked, hoping he didn't pick up on the longing in my voice.

If he did then he didn't mention it; instead he just chuckled, responding by pulling me closer to him. I let out a soft shriek as he dragged me through the water and closed the distance between us, holding me against his chest. My cheeks were already on fire as his arm snaked around my waist.

It was then that he responded. 'You sound like you'll miss me.' He purred, before answering my question. 'I will come for you when my clan is settled and I have taken care of the things I've neglected during my stay in the human world. But I promise I will keep the wait to a minimum, knowing how much you will yearn for me in that time.' He announced egotistically, the humiliation on my face only feeding his smugness.

'I won't _yearn_ for you.' I objected, although I wasn't sure I believed the words as they came out of my mouth.

Kazama didn't believe them either, although it was because of his pride. 'Perhaps you might not straight away, but soon you will, I'm sure. As I will most likely yearn for you, Chizuru. It will be strange to be parted from you after so long in your company.' He said, his free hand coming up to wipe the strands of hair that had restuck to my face.

I stopped struggling, not sure I wanted to anymore. Being so close to him only affirmed how much I'd longed for his contact and it wouldn't just be his touch that I would long for, but other interactions as well. Those of a more… _intimate_ nature. Our last kiss had only been a short kiss, barely a second long, but it had fuelled a flame in me that was yet to be extinguished.

And that wasn't the only thing on my mind. I really was becoming more and more apparent just how significant the next few days would be. I'd go from spending every second of every day with the man in front of me, to going back to Kyoto and spending all my time with the Shinsengumi. Everything was about to change drastically and I wasn't sure I was ready.

Kazama's smirk faded when he saw the depth of thought in my eyes. 'What are you pondering now, Chizuru?' He asked, the arm around my waist loosening, but he didn't let me go entirely.

I remained against him, snapped from my daze by his voice. 'Oh nothing. I'm just thinking of what will happen when I go back to Kyoto, I guess.' I said airily, suddenly aware of how close our faces were.

Kazama's face grew a bit sterner but he kept the softness in his eyes. 'Well, if you're worrying about it, which you tend to do, then don't. Sen will make sure you're taken care of. And thankful it's likely that she will no longer allow you to stay with those dogs. Although I disapprove of you spending so long in her company, _that_ alternative is much worse.' He grumbled, his lips tightening.

I should have known that talking about Kyoto would dampen his mood. It always did, because it reminded him that soon I'd be under someone else's custody. When I was in Kyoto he would have no more say in what I did and didn't do.

I sighed, reflecting on the letter that Sen sent me. 'Osen-chan said in her letter that she would let me stay with her. She also said she'd train me to be her assistant if I wanted to. I think it would be… nice.' I said, fantasising about what it would be like to have a proper job and have some normalcy in my life again. It had been years since I'd considered my life as normal. Maybe this was the first step in achieving that.

Kazama, however, didn't seem convinced. 'Hmph. Although some clerical skills would be beneficial, in the long run there is no need for you to take on such a duty. In Akimura you will not be expected to do such tasks. That will be up to my own assistants.' He said, tightening his grip on me again as if he was scared I'd flee.

I gave him a look, like I always did when he just assumed I'd let him sweep me away to his village. 'Try as you will, you can't dictate what I choose to do, Kazama-san, especially in Kyoto.' I said defiantly.

Kazama merely chuckled, beginning to twirl the ends of my platinum hair in his fingers. 'Hmm. I think you'll find I'll have more control over you than you think.' He said assuredly.

I'd expected such an answer. If there was something that Kazama had in abundance, it was narcissism. He couldn't even conceive a possibility where I wouldn't think of him all the time even if we were apart. His self-assuredness never ceased to surprise me.

I let out a short breath, grabbing his hand so he couldn't play with my hair anymore. 'I think I'll manage. It will be nice to not be told what to do every 5 minutes.' I said satirically, trying to hide my amusement, and surprisingly Kazama let out a short but genuine laugh. 'I can assure you, Chizuru, you're the one who does the majority of the commanding now. You're much worse than I ever was.' He teased, his eyes glinting.

I smiled too, my blush growing deeper as I noticed the sincere enjoyment in his eyes. I was seeing it much more now than I ever had. Even when we were silent, communicating solely through body language, I could still see something warm whenever he looked at me. It made me feel warm too and it continually reminded me of how deep my affection for him had grown. After he'd been shot and almost killed just a few weeks ago I'd realised that I'd loved him, even though I hadn't fully comprehended why. But every time I looked into his eyes it was no longer a mystery.

Kazama had fallen silent too but he was watching me. I would have given anything to know what he was thinking of in moments like this, when he didn't speak but also wouldn't look away. He probably was aware that I knew he was looking as well but he just didn't care. The intensity of his gaze threatened to burn a hole in the side of my face.

Unable to take it anymore, I shifted my eyes to him meekly. 'What?' I mumbled.

Kazama's gaze didn't retreat but he shifted in the water. 'I'm merely enjoying our proximity, Chizuru. It has been a long time since we have been truly alone.' He said, his voice much lower than it had been just moments before.

I averted my eyes once again, my mouth growing dry. 'It has been a while, I guess.' I murmured, not having much else to say. My fingers were beginning to fiddle from my nervousness, one against his chest and the other resting on his shoulder.

Kazama must have noticed my fidgeting but he chose to remain silent, watching me with his hawk eyes. I knew I couldn't ask him why he was looking at me again, since I'd just done so, so instead I forced myself to return the gaze. I expected him to smirk or say something, even something suggestive, but he did none of those things. The silence that was creeping over us was much heavier than any silence we'd experienced before.

And I knew exactly what he was thinking of. Because I was thinking the same thing.

Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I chose to speak. 'So…' I murmured, trying to think of something, anything to say to drain the tension.

I had no idea what to say now that I'd opened my mouth, and the silence was more like white noise instead of quietness. It was scrambling my brain, making my heart pound against his chest. I knew he could feel it on his skin. He could probably hear it too.

I went to open my mouth again, to blabber something about the weather, but I hadn't even gotten any sound out before Kazama silenced me with a thumb to my lips.

'Chizuru.' Was all he said.

The blood drained from my cheeks as I met his smouldering eyes, unsure whether he actually planned to say something or if he'd just wanted to stop me from ruining the moment.

When he could see I was paying attention, his thumb moved from my lips to slide along my jawline. Strangely enough, he looked kind of hesitant and rigid which made me anxious. He only ever looked like this when he was apologising but I couldn't think of anything he'd need to be sorry for. Or maybe he was… trying to make a decision.

Even though my throat was dry, I spoke. 'Yes?' I murmured, my voice small and weak.

Kazama's eyes flicked to my own, and I saw something in them that finally revealed what he was thinking of. They were the same eyes he'd given me a few weeks ago, after he'd just woken up after I'd healed his bullet wound, after he'd found out what happened. They were the same eyes I'd seen when we'd been sitting there in that room in front of the fire, when his hands had wiped the tears off my cheeks. They were the same eyes I'd seen before we'd kissed.

And realising that, I'd only had a millisecond to prepare myself before Kazama closed the distance between us.

I was so stunned when our lips met that I didn't close my eyes, unable to register the smoothness of his lips or the lingering salt from the sea. I couldn't hear the sound of the waves anymore, or the trees rustling, or even the sound of my own heart beating furiously behind my breast. Even with all the oni senses available to me it was like I was in a soundproof room. I wasn't even sure I was breathing.

I was unable to process anything that was happening. And he didn't give me time to either, because the kiss ended almost as soon as it began.

When Kazama pulled back, I couldn't tell what he was feeling. On one hand he appeared to be a little dazed but mostly he seemed perplexed. After all, I'd been so stunned that I had made no effort to kiss him back. I hadn't even pursed my lips and he must have known that I hadn't closed my eyes either.

After seeing I'd continue to be silent, Kazama pulled back a little further. 'Although I wasn't sure what you'd do, I expected a bit more of a reaction.' He said, his voice low and perhaps even embarrassed, but his frown deepened when I still said nothing. 'Either reciprocation… or at least aversion…' He trailed off, cocking his head to the side when he noticed I was practically unresponsive.

Kazama grew even more uneasy, I could tell, and maybe a little awkward. We probably would have stood in the water all day in this odd silence if I hadn't have finally began to come to live again, feeling the heat return to my cheeks and the feeling to my limbs as the reality of what had just happened hit me.

When he'd voiced his concern, I finally blinked and closed my parted lips. 'Uh…' Was all I could manage, however.

Hastily brushing my wet hair behind my ears, I continued when his expression became sombre, maybe even injured. 'I… no, I'm sorry. I was… you just surprised me.' I said, unable to look away from him even though it was painful.

Now that I'd given a proper response, Kazama seem to relax a little bit even though he was still quite tense. 'I'm hoping it was a pleasant surprise, at least?' He offered cautiously, his eyes examining my face for clues on how I felt.

I noticed that their colour had grown a little darker, and all I wanted to do was assure him that it had indeed been a pleasant surprise. Now that I was getting over my shock, my stomach was becoming congested with butterflies. Millions of them, it felt like. Filling me to the brim with enough emotion to make my head explode.

Kazama had kissed me. And it hadn't been enough.

I swallowed, licking my lips to gather the rest of his taste. 'Yes. It was… pleasant.' I murmured, gathering up all the courage I had to close the distance that he'd created in his perceived rejection. He'd almost put a whole metre of space between us after he'd pulled away.

When my fingers gently came to rest on his shoulders, all the tension in his body melted away at my touch. 'Hmm.' He vocalised, allowing me to retake my place against him, his arms coming to rest around my torso. 'I wasn't sure for a moment, Chizuru. You grew rather pale.' He murmured, his eyes now burning like embers.

Swallowing, I already had something planned in my head that I wanted to say. But for some reason I couldn't say it. The touch of his skin on mine rendered my brain useless and my tongue limp. I couldn't speak even as we came chest to chest, my fingers resting on the back of his neck.

So I didn't speak at all, nor did I try to. Instead I let him bring me close enough that his eyelashes brushed against my cheek.

Closing my eyes this time, I was prepared for the jolt of electricity that shot through me when our lips met again. This time it was more tentative than before, gentler, but also more confident. I was able to ready myself for the contact and I knew what it would feel like, physically and mentally.

But even though I'd known what it would feel like, I was once again entirely swept up in the sensation. How it was even possible that something like this could produce such crazy emotions I would never understand. I was overcome with excitement, anxiety, passion and giddiness, all wrestling inside my head and heart. It was like I was on fire. Even my skin was aflame, burning so hot that I was no longer sure what was my skin and what was his.

Kazama, impatient as usual, was quick to shift the kiss from gentle to firm. His lips opened slightly, inviting me to accept a deeper kiss, and I couldn't have accepted fast enough. My fingers slid into his hair and I crushed my body against his, only slightly wary when Kazama's hands slid down to my thighs. Although I was wrapped up in the moment I would have had no qualms in teaching him a lesson if he crossed any boundaries, but I quickly figured out what he was doing when he pulled my legs around his waist.

And once he'd moved me to where he wanted, his arms moved back around my waist again.

It was only when I needed air that I retreated briefly, breaking our contact to catch my breath. My lips already buzzed with the force of his kisses which I'd only realised now had been rougher than I'd thought, and when I looked into Kazama's eyes they were verging more on gold than red. They were alight with so much passion that my breath caught in my throat, their molten blaze imprinting onto my vision.

I thought maybe he was going to say something, but I'd already began to kiss him again.

Once more he parted his lips, their suppleness tinted with the slight burn of sake, but this time the kiss was a little different than usual. I couldn't help but pause as his tongue brushed against my lower lip, sending sparks down my body, requesting that I at least try to return the favour.

I did so cautiously at first. Although Kazama and I had kissed passionately before, it had never involved more than just our lips. I let him take the lead, much to his delight, and he cradled my head with one hand as I absorbed the strange pleasantness of kissing with tongue.

After several breathless minutes, Kazama and I separated, but only just. My hands remained on the side of his neck, our lips so close that they touched every now and again. Each time we kissed it always surprised me just how potent the emotion and passion was between us, reaffirming that there were few men on the planet who could make me feel like this. I couldn't and didn't want to think of anything else as Kazama and I remained in the ocean, the silence filled with meaning.

Brushing my hair back slowly, Kazama was the first to speak. 'I promised myself I wouldn't leave you before doing that once more, Chizuru.' He said, keeping me close to him.

I swallowed, barely able to string a sentence together in my head let alone speak one. I was glad he'd done so. I hadn't been aware of how much I'd missed this intimacy until I'd had the opportunity to explore it again with him. It truly was better than I'd ever thought such an action could be.

And it only made it harder for me to accept that he'd be leaving soon.

I tightened my arms around his neck, resting my cheek against his. It was such a relaxing position but it also meant he couldn't see the confliction on my face that had suddenly overcome me. The longer we were together the more I knew I didn't want to leave him and a small voice suggested to follow him to his village so I didn't have to go through the separation. But I knew it wasn't an option, and it never really had been. Not at this point in time, at least.

Kazama stayed silent too when I said nothing, one hand holding me against him and the other on the back of my head. Now that he'd told me the reason that he'd kissed me in the first place, there was nothing left for him to say. We both mutually understood that the silence said more than words ever could in this moment.

After a really long time, Kazama shifted so we were face to face again. 'Come now, we should head back up to the shore.' He suggested, letting my thighs fall from around his waist.

I nodded, a blush dusting my cheeks as my feet came to rest on the ocean floor. 'Ok.' I murmured.

Kazama stared at me for just a little longer than normal before he let me go. The cold water rushed between our bodies and stripped me of his warmth, although thankfully his haori seemed to guard some of it. He also took a hold of my hand as we waded back to the beach.

Both Kazama and I were deep in thought as we emerged from the water, taking our first steps back onto dry sand. I couldn't stop looking at him walking in front of me, his hair almost entirely dry and beginning to shine gold again. Everything about him was so regal compared to me, even the way he walked. I'd never met another man like him.

Eventually we came to stand before our picnic baskets.

Picking up my kimono, I was desperate to get out of my wet clothes. 'I'm going to transform into my human form and change in the forest, so…' I trailed off awkwardly, one of my hands still in his.

He nodded, looking down at his own clothes resting in one of the baskets. 'I'll do the same then. I'll meet you back here soon.' He said, but he made no move to let my hand go.

I looked down at our fingers intertwined, wondering if I should wait for him to separate them or do it myself. But before I could decide, Kazama's spare hand came to tilt my head back up again.

And soon after his lips were against mine.

It was only a fleeting kiss, soft and chaste, and it reminded me of the kiss I'd given him after he'd dressed my oni wound. It only lasted a mere second but still it was innocent and genuine, passionate too even though it lacked lust. And this time I remembered to close my eyes.

When the kiss ended, Kazama let my hand go. 'That will probably be the last time in a while that I will the opportunity to do that when you're in your oni form.' He said, making a move to collect his own clothes.

I went red, embarrassed yet pleased that he'd done so, and Kazama began to smirk at my blush. It seemed he recovered much quicker than I had to the shock and passion of our kiss in the water, in addition to the kiss he'd just given me. I was still off in dreamland from both of them.

Tucking some hair behind my ear, I didn't know what to say. 'Well… I'm going to change now.' I spluttered, too flustered to actually respond properly to what he'd said or done.

Kazama's smirk grew a little more prominent as I turned on my heel and began to stalk towards the forest. He always managed to ruffle my feathers at the most unexpected of times and it always worked. I was glad that he seemed to be slightly less awkward now though because it made everything more comfortable for the both of us. I hoped he'd continue to be like that when I returned from changing.

However, even though the mood was starting to lighten now, I couldn't help but think of how it felt when he kissed me; not just in a physical way, but emotionally. Every time we kissed it always summoned such powerful emotions. It was strange to remark that after every kiss something between us changed, something became more… serious.

It was because of this that I was able to understand that whatever we had wasn't frivolous. It wasn't fleeting, nor was superficial. I could feel in my heart that there was something real between us, something tangible and reciprocated.

And as of yet I'd never felt that with anyone else.

Not even Hijikata.

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 **Author note**

 **Lol I actually 'finished' this chapter like a week ago but I really struggle with writing the intimate scenes AND chapter conclusions :o so the ending was like my actual worst nightmare. It took me FOREVER to write the part at the end ugh so I'm sorry if it's trash haha. Any advice would be appreciated!**

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	52. Departure

**Hey guys! Here's the next chapter, I hope you all like it!**

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* * *

 **Departure**

I placed my fingers on my windowsill, staring out from my bedroom window at the ocean.

It was raining. The sun had set and the light was fading from the sky, making way for the moon which was already becoming visible. It was a little out of character for Aomori to be so gloomy and I hoped it wasn't foreshadowing what would happen tomorrow at dawn when we arrived at Ezo.

I couldn't believe that this time tomorrow I'd be with the Shinsengumi. I had no idea how they would react to my presence, nor did I know if everything would go back to normal. After all, I was no longer the girl I was when I was last with them; I was a woman now, in fact, and they were likely not the same men. War could be cruel to people.

Sighing, I swung my bag over my shoulder. I'd packed a change of clothes and some food but the remainder of my belongs were boxed up on my bedroom floor. Amagiri would take care of them tomorrow for me so I didn't have to bring all of it to Ezo. Shiranui and Amagiri were leaving at dawn. Kazama and I were leaving tonight.

I lightly touched my fingers to my lips when Kazama came to mind. Everything had been so perfect about yesterday's beach outing; the food, the oni lesson, the swimming… and the kiss. When I thought about it I got goosebumps all over my body. We'd spent the remainder of the day lounging about on the sand and talking until the sun set and then we'd gone home. Shiranui and Amagiri must have known something had happened because I was blushing even before I'd walked into the house. I wasn't very good at hiding how I felt.

'Chizuru.'

I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard someone say my name.

Spinning around, I was faced with the very man that I'd spent yesterday with. He was dressed in his western clothes, dark pants tucked into boots and a vest over a white shirt. On top of everything was a cape fasted around his neck, draping over his shoulders.

Kazama stepped into my room, observing the boxes on the floor. 'Are you ready to leave?' He asked, his eyes flicking shortly to me at the window.

I nodded, memories from yesterday flashing through my mind. 'Yes, I'm ready.' I murmured, moving over to the doorway without being told.

Kazama followed me, staying by my side as we left my room and began to walk down the stairs. 'It's a shame the weather is so miserable. Thankfully it will not take too long to walk to the pier.' He said, beginning to unclip his cloak.

I watched what he was doing with mild interest, but I didn't ask him about it. 'Are Amagiri-san and Shiranui-san walking with us to the pier?' I asked curiously, unsure if they would be seeing us off. I disliked the idea of them having to trudge along in the rain too but I equally disapproved of me not getting the chance to say goodbye. I would probably get to see Amagiri pretty soon but who knew how long it would be before Shiranui and I crossed paths again. He was a bit of a nomad.

Suddenly Kazama pulled off his cape, swinging it around my shoulders. 'They will be staying here. There is no need for them to accompany us to the pier.' He said simply, clipping the cape around my neck.

I frowned, confused as to why he'd given me his cape. 'What are you doing?' I asked, subconsciously remarking how warm it was. It was only after he'd put his cape on me that I realised how cold I'd been.

Kazama graced me with a smirk, leaning back on the wall. 'How cruel would I be to let my bride get wet?' He chuckled, his eyes twinkling as my cheeks grew hot.

I pouted, embarrassed but also grateful for his display of compassion. 'Thanks.' I mumbled, unable to look at him anymore. Every time our eyes met it reminded me of how he'd looked at me yesterday. With longing, desire… affection, perhaps. It was enough to make my heart pound in my chest.

Kazama picked up on my embarrassment but he didn't mention it. 'Lending my clothes is the least I can do, Chizuru.' He noted, sweeping a chunk of my hair away from my face and over my shoulder.

I lowered my eyes, trying not to think of how much I'd miss his touch when we parted tomorrow morning.

No sooner had I thought that Shiranui and Amagiri appeared in front of us. It felt so strange to be dressed in Western clothes when they weren't, and it signified that we really were parting ways. They were here before us to say goodbye no doubt. This was the end. The four of us would no longer be travel companions.

Kazama was the first to speak. 'Chizuru and I are leaving now. Make sure you get her belongings safely back to Kyoto.' He told Amagiri, not bothering to say anything sentimental. Although he likely wouldn't see the others for months, he wasn't one to linger in sentiment.

Amagiri gave a short bow. 'It will be done. Yuki will be sold to a good buyer, too.' He added, looking my way. Shiranui must have told him that I was upset about having to say goodbye to Yuki. I'd gone to see her today with Shiranui and I'd unfortunately been unable to hold back my tears.

I looked to the ground, shuffling my feet, but Kazama interrupted before I could reply. 'Good. In that case, it's time for us to take our leave.' He said, turning to me. 'Chizuru, are you ready?'

I gave him a brief nod, but I turned back to the other two before Kazama went to open the door. The truth was I had so much to say to these two men standing in front of me. They had both played different yet equally important parts of the journey and I couldn't have imagined travelling without them.

Giving a low bow to Amagiri, I raised to see him rather surprised at the action. 'Thank you, Amagiri-san, for helping me throughout this journey. When you get to Kyoto please tell Osen-chan that I miss her and that I'll see her soon. She'll be really excited to see you.' I said, flashing him a sweet yet all-knowing smile. I could only imagine how much they were going to be all over each other when he got back.

Amagiri definitely knew I was being cheeky but he returned the bow regardless. 'I'll let her know that you'll see her soon. Your belongings will be with her when you return.' He said, lifting from his bow perhaps with pinker cheeks.

I tried to supress a smirk, realising I was more like Kazama than I thought, before I turned to Shiranui.

I was just about to say goodbye when he raised his hand. 'No sappy goodbye needed, Princess. I'm sure I'll see you around somewhere. Maybe I'll even receive a wedding invitation soon.' He suggested smugly, cocking his head towards Kazama.

Frowning at him, I didn't have time to retort before Kazama interrupted. 'You won't be invited to our wedding. I've seen enough of you for a lifetime.' He said crassly, and I believed him. If there was one person on earth that Kazama hoped never to see again it was poor Shiranui.

I sighed, ignoring Kazama's snap and turning back to Shiranui. 'I hope I'll see you before then anyway. Thanks for making the journey amusing, Shiranui-san.' I said, giving him a shallow bow.

Shiranui didn't return the gesture, nor did I expect him to. 'Huh. I'm pretty sure it was you who made it amusing. It was nice to have someone to keep _him_ occupied.' He said, making no move to motion to Kazama but we all knew who he was talking about.

I smiled, understanding that I probably had taken some of the heat from the two oni men standing in front of me. 'You're welcome. Where are you planning to go now?' I asked him.

He shrugged at my question. 'Dunno. Here and there, I suppose.' He said vaguely, his eyes sparkling.

I rolled my eyes, expecting such an answer. To be honest I was pretty sure he legitimately had no idea where he would end up.

Thankfully I had finished my goodbyes because Kazama was already at his wits end. 'Alright, that's enough. We're wasting time. Chizuru, let's go.' He said, stepping aside to allow me to pass through the door.

I nodded, turning around to get one last look at Amagiri and Shiranui. 'I'll see you in Kyoto, Amagiri-san. Bye, Shiranui-san!' I said, giving them a big smile before I stepped closer to the door.

Shiranui gave me a cheeky smile and Amagiri bowed, but they said nothing as Kazama ushered me out the door without a backward glance.

And just like that, my journey with them was over.

If it had have been up to me I would have stayed for a bit longer to savour the memories of this place, maybe admired one last look at the garden, but of course that was not something Kazama was keen to do. It was time for us to take the last stretch of the alone, just us two, and truthfully there was no one I would have rathered accompany me.

Without warning, Kazama's gloved hand slipped around my own. 'Let's go, Chizuru.' He said, beginning to lead me down the stairs and onto the path.

I let him lead me without complaint, even as we left the shelter of the veranda and stepped into the rain. It was raining pretty heavily considering it had been hot yesterday. I couldn't help but feel guilty as the rain began to soak Kazama's shirt and wet his hair. Here I was wearing his cape and watching the rain drops roll off me.

Flicking my hood on, I moved through the property gate when Kazama opened it for me. 'Are you sure you don't want this back?' I murmured, peering up at him with remorseful eyes.

Kazama shut the gate behind us, retaking my hand as we began our trek down the muddy street. 'I'm quite sure. The cold and rain don't affect me like they do you, Chizuru. Although if you want to warm me up later I wouldn't be opposed to it.' He suggested, chuckling as I shook my head and looked back down at my muddy shoes.

I sighed, humouring him despite my better judgment. 'You of all people never need help to warm up, Kazama-san.' I said.

Kazama smirked at my response, tugging me a little closer to his side. 'That doesn't mean I wouldn't appreciate the effort. I suppose we have a whole night together to find out if it makes a difference, although I'm surprised at your resistance considering what you said to Shiranui back there.' He said, looking down at me with relish.

I frowned, suddenly confused. 'What?' I asked, requesting clarification for his perplexing claim.

What on earth was he talking about?

Kazama chuckled again, resting his spare hand on his kodachi hilt. 'After Shiranui implied he'd see you at our wedding you said that you hoped to see him before then. You didn't even deny the prospect of our union.' He highlighted, flashing me an obnoxiously sly smile.

I fought the urge to blush. I hadn't even picked up on it.

Facing the front again, I decided to defend myself. 'It was simply a mistake. Trust you to read too much into a situation.' I responded equally as obnoxiously, glad that the hood hid my face from him.

Although I couldn't see him, I could tell he was enjoying my floundering. 'Ah, I see. Even after everything we've been through, _including_ yesterday, you still try to fight me off. No doubt you'll fight it all the way to our wedding day. Trust _you_ to be stubborn.' He said, his tone playful. He was just messing with me but it made me cringe a little too because I knew it was true. Plus I was embarrassed he'd mentioned yesterday.

'Hmph.' I muttered, my lips forming a pout, but I said nothing else. The more I said the more Kazama would tease me and I didn't really feel like being taunted tonight.

When I remained silent, Kazama did too despite his lingering satisfaction. Even though he was slowly becoming even more drenched, his shirt sticking to his skin, the light in his eyes didn't die. In fact, I realised soon afterwards that he seemed to be in a good mood. I wasn't sure if it was because he was finally alone with me or that the journey was coming to an end, or maybe something else. But when I peered up at his face I could tell that not even the weather could dampen his spirits. It brightened up my mood too.

I held his hand a bit tighter, walking so close to his side that my shoulder would brush his arm occasionally. After yesterday I felt like we'd grown even closer together. After the awkwardness had faded away from our kiss yesterday, we'd been the rest of the evening on the beach enjoying each other's company. I kind of wished we'd kissed at least a few more times but I'd already done it enough to know he was the only man who could make me feel so… giddy.

Being with him was unlike being with any other.

Suddenly Kazama and I turned a corner, the pier already in sight. We'd probably only been walking for 5 minutes.

Not even Kazama spoke as we began to approach the decking. I searched the shore line for the boat that we would be catching but there were too many to narrow them down. I hoped our boat would be big enough to hold us comfortably and to not be knocked about by the waves. The ocean looked pretty choppy and I wouldn't be surprised if it escalated to storm conditions later on.

Before I could get too scared about that prospect, Kazama squeezed my hand. 'There is the man that is taking us to Ezo.' He said, his line of sight directing me to the man standing half way down the pier. He was far enough away that I couldn't make out the features of his face but I presumed he was in his 40s. There was another younger man standing next to him loading boxes into a ship.

The boat itself was medium size and made of dark brown wood. It appeared to have a few compartments in its hull, perhaps small living quarters or a storage unit. It wasn't too big as to be intimidating but it was big enough that it would not be easily tipped over even if we did encounter a storm.

As we grew closer, the older man looked up at us and waved. Kazama made no move to return the gesture so I did so on his behalf. The younger man was just finishing up moving the boxes around and now was standing next to the older man.

I turned to Kazama, keeping my voice low. 'Who's the younger one?' I asked, far enough away that they couldn't hear me yet.

Kazama kept his eyes to the front. 'That's the man's son, Itsuki. He will be helping his father, Touma, man the boat.' He said simply.

I nodded, getting in one last question before we grew too close. 'So what do you and I do tonight?' I asked, wondering if we'd have to help sail as well. I've never manned a boat or actually ever been on one but surely two people alone couldn't run a boat this big?

Kazama smirked, raising our enclosed hands to kiss mine. 'Whatever we want, Chizuru.' He said, flashing me a mischievous smile.

I hadn't even had time to process his words before we finally came to stand before the man and his son. Touma was smiling from ear to ear at our approach which I found kind of strange considering we were taking time out of his evening to sail across the sea. There were only two reasons why he'd be so happy; either he just really loved sailing or Kazama had paid him better than I thought.

As soon as we stopped walking, he gave a low bow. 'I'm glad you could make it.' He said, raising from his bow to face me. 'And it is lovely to meet you, Kazama-san. It is an honour to deliver you to Ezo.' He said.

He was looking directly at me even though he'd said Kazama's name. Had he just addressed me as a Kazama?

Staring immediately up at the _real_ Kazama, I noticed he was trying to hide a smirk. 'Let's make haste then so we may arrive before sunrise. Are you prepared for departure?' He asked Touma, ignoring me as best as he could.

Touma nodded, his eyes flickering curiously to me as I continued to stare at Kazama with confusion. 'Of course. If you come this way then I will show you to the boarding ramp. Itsuki, I'll get our guests settled while you get the sails ready.' He said, gesturing for us to walk down the pier.

He took off in front of us, his son following shortly after.

As soon as they weren't looking at us I stared up at Kazama in accusation. 'Would you mind explaining why he called me Kazama-san?' I whispered, frowning so sternly that my eyebrows had almost come together.

Kazama gave a small chuckle, looking down at me. 'What? I merely took the liberty of giving him your _true_ name.' He said, amused by the irritation in my eyes.

I shook my head, letting out a soft sigh. So that's why he'd addressed me with Kazama's last name. Kazama had told me the man that we were married.

'Honestly.' I mumbled, not sure why I was surprised at this point. This wasn't the first obnoxious thing that he'd done and it wasn't the first time he'd told people I was his wife either.

Kazama smiled proudly at my silence. 'Kazama Chizuru.' He purred, letting out a soft sigh. 'My name suits you, don't you think?' He asked with relish, sated by the very taste of that name in his mouth.

Unfortunately I didn't have time to answer him because we'd come to a stop just before the ramp. The man and his son had stopped too, allowing Kazama and I to board first before they followed. The ramp led up onto the deck of the ship.

Kazama still had a smile on his face when he urged me up the ramp with him. 'Let's go.' He said.

The first thing I noticed was that the boat was a lot taller than I thought it would be. The ramp led us straight onto the deck which was made of the same dark wood as the boat. There was an entrance to the captain's quarters towards the back of the ship in addition to some stairs which led below deck. I presumed it was a place for storage.

'Wow.' I said, running my hand along the smooth railing beside me.

Kazama was also examining the ship with mild curiosity. 'Hmm. It seems to be in good condition.' He mused to himself, not intending for either I or the other men to hear or respond.

However, Touma overheard his comment. 'Indeed it is. This was my father's boat and he used to sail everyday with me when I was not much older than you. That's how I got my love for the sea.' He said animatedly, giving us both a beaming smile as he started to pull up the ramp.

I tried not to smile at his assumption of Kazama's age. It was still hard to believe he was 80 even though he looked to be in his mid-twenties.

Knowing Kazama wouldn't respond, I asked a follow up question. 'So what do you normally use this boat for?' I asked out of curiosity, ignoring Kazama's sharp look as he silently chastised me for engaging with strangers more than I needed to.

Touma brushed the rain off his hands when he'd successfully pulled up the ramp. 'Usually fishing. But sometimes my family and I will travel out in summer just to spend a day on the ocean. It's a shame the weather isn't more accommodating this evening, however. It may take a little longer to get to Ezo than usual. Anyway, follow me.' He said, gesturing for us to follow him to the back of the boat.

Kazama and I walked after him with no protest, Kazama's hand still in mine. It was only when the man mentioned Ezo that the reality of the situation hit me, harder than it had hit me so far. I was finally going to Ezo. I would arrive there tomorrow morning and then I would be on my way to find the Shinsengumi. I began to get a horrible nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Would they be happy to see me?

Suddenly Kazama squeezed my hand and directly after I felt his mind barrier on mine. It had been so long since we'd used telepathy and so I welcomed the sensation. I dropped my mind barrier, drawing him into my thoughts and trying not to sigh with relief as his presence filled me. Even his mind was warm and soothing.

When he was inside, I was the first to talk. _Yes, Kazama-san?:_ I asked, not needing to look up at him. I already knew was sort of expression he was making.

Before he could respond, however, Touma paused before the door of the captain's quarters. 'I might as well give you a tour since we'll be spending the next few hours on this boat. I'll be sure to keep it quick so we can all move out of the rain.' He said, clapping his hands together.

Kazama already looked entirely bored. I, on the other hand, was eager despite the rain plummeting down on us.

Touma began speaking almost immediately. 'Here is the door to the captain's quarters. This is where you will be staying for the night as Itsuki and I will have to stay up making sure the boat doesn't shift off course due to the weather. Either side of this door are the stairs leading up to the ship's wheel.' He said, turning out to look up at the raised platform. I could see the edges of the ship's wheel looming above our heads, bigger than I'd thought it would be.

After he'd pointed it out, he turned to face us again. 'This staircase built into the deck beside us leads to the storage section. It's got nothing in it at the moment but when we go out fishing it usually gets filled to the brim. And if you look behind you to the front of the boat you can see the lookout point. Although it's not the highest point of the ship you can certainly get a good view of everything. And that's all!' He finished enthusiastically, hoping we'd be just excited about the boat as he was.

I smiled at him, genuinely interested. 'So how long exactly will it take to get to Ezo with this weather?' I asked, hoping I wouldn't come across as impatient. I could already feel Kazama's amusement through our mind link. It was very much like me to want to know how long we were going to be travelling for.

Touma squinted as he thought, rubbing his chin. 'Hmm. Well, there will definitely be some rough seas ahead of us so I would say we will get to Ezo in about 12 hours from now, maybe a bit less if we are lucky. We will be arriving probably just after dawn.' He said.

I nodded, only getting even more anxious. There were only 12 hours between the Shinsengumi and I. Between Hijikata and I.

Unwilling to dwell on that now, I was grateful when Touma starting speaking once more. 'Anyway, the tour is done and we are just about to set sail. I'll let you both retire for the night if you wish to do that but you're more than welcome to stay on deck despite the weather. The ship is yours to roam. Please excuse me.' He said, giving a short bow before he started to search for Itsuki who was adjusting the sails.

Once Touma was gone, Kazama looked down at me. _Let's go to the captain's quarters. I no longer wish to stand in the rain and I'm sure you don't either_ : he said, already beginning to lead me towards the door.

I was kind of devastated as we approached the quarters. _Ok_ : I said, supressing a sigh as I trudged behind him. I'd really wanted to be on deck to see the ship set sail, even though I was getting rained on. I'd never been on a boat before and I didn't really want to miss the part where we left the shore. But I also didn't want Kazama to have to stay out in the rain, especially since I'd stolen his cloak.

Suddenly Kazama stopped short. _What?_ : he asked, catching me off guard.

I was so surprised at his abrupt stop that I didn't answer him straight away, so he softly ran his thumb across my hand and elaborated on his question. _Why do you sound so disappointed? Don't tell me you're afraid of sharing a bedroom with me tonight_ : he teased, the rain running down his face. He looked so handsome with wet hair.

I sighed, raising an eyebrow. _No, it's not that, since you'll be sleeping on the floor. And everything's ok. Let's go inside_.' I said, taking charge myself as I brought us closer to the door.

Kazama rolled his eyes at the 'sleeping on the floor' comment but he didn't address it. _I know when you're lying, Chizuru. If you want something then just ask for it_ : he said, softly turning me around to face him again.

I was already blushing but I decided just to tell him the truth. _Well, I was just wanting to stay on deck to see the boat leave the shore, that's all. But it is quite cold out here so we can go inside. I'll do what you want, Kazama-san_ : I murmured, taking in a small breath of courage as I reached out to grab his spare hand.

Kazama paused for a moment as my fingers intertwined with his, our eyes meeting briefly before I had to look away. Although I wanted to stay on deck, what I wanted more was to make sure he was comfortable. If he wanted to go inside then I'd do that for him. I would do it because I cared about him.

He pulled me a little closer, lowering his voice even though we were talking telepathically. _We shall stay out here then, Chizuru. If this is what you want then I will be more than willing to accommodate it. Just don't blame me if you catch a cold_ : he said, pressing his lips to my knuckles.

I blushed, accidentally noticing that Itsuki was curiously watching us, before I shifted my eyes back to Kazama. _Thank you, Kazama-san_ : I said, trying not to swoon as he kissed my fingers again. Kazama must have noticed that I'd grown even more mellow since yesterday. I was hardly complaining anymore when he touched me. It was partly because of yesterday and partly because of tomorrow.

After tomorrow it would be months before I'd see him again. I hated thinking about.

Before Kazama could sense my emotion, I kicked the thought from my mind. _Can we go to the front of the boat?:_ I asked timidly, sensing that we were just about to start moving. Some of the smaller sails were down and the boat was rocking a little. The only thing keeping us in place was the anchor.

Kazama nodded, beginning to lead me towards the front of the boat.

We had to ascend a small set of stairs to get onto the front deck. Kazama held my hand tightly just in case I slipped on the wet wood and I was glad for his support. I was also glad for his cape because it was the only thing keeping me tolerably warm.

Once we were on the front deck we made our way to the very front where we could overlook the sea. Even though I couldn't really see anything because of the rain I couldn't help but stare out at the horizon with awe. It was a stretch of endless navy, the tips of the waves tinted with the light of the moon as it begin to rise higher in the sky. I hoped later on that it would clear up a little so I could see the stars too.

Suddenly the boat lurched unexpectedly as the anchor was raised.

I let out a squeak as I almost staggered backwards, but Kazama caught me against his chest before I tripped over my own feet. _Clumsy as always, I see_ : he sighed into my head, letting me go once I was stable again.

I sent him a half-hearted glare. _Even you must admit I'm not as clumsy as I once was_ : I said, placing my hand on the railing as I overlooked the ocean.

Kazama chuckled, his voice resounding through my head. _Perhaps not. I suppose you have me to thank for that, as it was I who taught you to be more aware of your surroundings. But even so, you are still the clumsiest woman I have ever met_ : he teased, resting his hands next to mine as he stared out at the sea as well. Our fingers were just inches away from touching. I idly considered closing the distance.

But before I could, I heard Touma shout something from the back of the boat. 'Itsuki, release the main sail. I'll take the wheel.' He called out, instructing his son on the next course of action.

Forgetting our conversation, I turned back to the ocean to prepare for more movement. This was it! We were finally leaving, finally on our way to Ezo. My stomach was knotted with butterflies at the thought of being reunited with the Shinsengumi after all these months. It had been half a year since I'd seen them and for the most part of that time I'd been travelling with Kazama. I wasn't sure they'd approve of knowing that but at the end of the day I couldn't have made it here without him.

As soon as that thought had crossed my mind, the boat lurched forward again, but this time I grounded myself firmly.

And just like that, we slowly began to creep away from the shore.

Kazama and I watched in silence as the boat moved further away from the pier. I turned around to savour the sight of Aomori slipping away, inch by inch, but it would still be at least half an hour before it completely disappeared from my sight. If the weather was clear then I would have been able to see our house along the coastline and it made me think of Amagiri and Shiranui and what they'd be doing now that they were free.

And after tomorrow, I'd be free as well. Free to do what I wanted. Once I was in Kyoto I could work, settle down, return to the normal life that I'd been craving for years. This marked the fifth year that I'd known the Shinsengumi and in those years I couldn't think of a single week where my life hadn't contained some form of excitement or danger.

Perhaps I would miss that when I was back in Kyoto. But only time could tell.

After a long time, I turned to Kazama. _Alright, we can go inside now. I'm getting pretty cold_ : I said, brushing my wet hair back.

Kazama nodded, retaking my hand as he took a step away from the railing. _I can see that. You've been shivering for the last 5 minutes. I was wondering when you'd concede:_ he stated, smirking as he lead me back down the stairs again.

I chose not to respond with words; instead I gave him a sassy roll of the eyes.

Now that we were well out at sea, the strong wind propelling us quickly through the waves, I noticed that the boat was rocking. It made it a little hard to walk but thankfully it didn't seem to bother Kazama. He kept me grounded as we approached the captain's quarters, paying no mind to Itsuki and Touma as we left the deck.

Kazama opened the door for me and the first thing that surprised me was that it was warm. I frowned, stepping deeper into the quarters as Kazama shut the door behind us.

The room was long and narrow, separated into two sections by a wall placed right through the middle. In this section of the room was a table, drawers, a dresser, a cabinet and a few fruit bowls. There was also a few candles here and there but a many had already gone out. It was such a beautiful room.

In the next section was the bed chamber where I could see a raised double bed and a simple table. Everything was made of a dark lacquered wood and when I took off my coat I saw a fully enclosed heating box made of steel and filled with burning embers. That explained why the room was so oddly warm.

I swung Kazama's cape over the back of a chair, crouching down before the heating box which was on the floor. 'Mmm.' I said, putting my hands into the heat that was rising from the holes at the top. The coals inside wouldn't last the whole night but at least Kazama would be able to heat them up again with his clan power.

Kazama untied his sword from his waist, placing it on the table. 'Did you bring your spare clothes?' He asked, gesturing to the bag I'd brought with me.

I nodded, squeezing the water from my hair. 'I did. I also brought the yukata that I got in Yamamura.' I said, looking to the side at my very plump bag. I'd packed it to the absolute brim with things I'd need for the travel back to Kyoto.

Kazama nodded, bending down to unzip his boots. It was definitely not the first time I'd seen Kazama start to undress but I couldn't help but feel it was different now. He did it with so much ease and comfort that it really was like he was married to me.

Blushing, I turned back to the heating box and dried the moisture from my hands. 'Did you bring a change of clothes too?' I asked, peering at his bag which was sitting next to mine.

His nimble fingers undid the buttons of his vest before he peeled the wet garment of his body. 'Of course.' He said, elaborating no further on the subject as he appeared beside his bag. 'Anyway, you should change into your dry clothes before you get sick. I'll be in the other room doing the same. Let me know when you're finished.' He said, picking up his bag.

I looked up at him towering over me, trying desperately not to ogle at the way his white shirt stuck to his skin. 'Ok.' I said, collecting my own bag as well.

Kazama inclined his head then shifted into the next room, softly closing the door behind him.

Once he was gone I sighed, reluctantly standing up so I could get changed. I was so desperate to get out of my wet clothes that I took everything off all at once, drying myself off using the small face towel that I'd brought with me. I could hear Kazama in the next room rummaging through his bag. I went through my own bag and pulled out the yukata I'd embroidered with Yui.

I was just to put it on when I saw the reflection of a face in a mirror hanging above one of the dressers, and it took a few seconds to realise it was my own reflection.

The woman in the mirror looked so much more mature than I remembered. I stared blankly at myself as I came to the realisation that I really was a different person to when I first started the journey, physically as well as mentally. My body was stronger, less frail, and I could even see a difference in the way I merely stood. There was a confidence in my stature that I didn't remember having. Perhaps something regal.

Suddenly Kazama's voice snapped me out of my daze. 'Chizuru, are you dressed?' He asked from behind the door, growing curious at how long I was taking.

Almost jumping out of my skin, I hastily tied my yukata shut and took my wet hair out of the bun. 'Yes, I'm done!' I said a little too quickly to sound calm.

Kazama opened the door immediately, holding his bag in one hand.

Immediately I noticed he was wearing the yukata and haori that I'd made him. The dark fabric suited his pale complexion so perfectly, especially when balanced with the rich blue of his haori. He'd worn it yesterday as well but it never grew old seeing him in what I'd made him. But that wasn't why I was staring at him this time.

In the dimness off the room I could see the glow from the spider thread I'd embroidered on his haori.

I stood up, automatically moving over to him. 'It's glowing!' I exclaimed, more to myself than him as I reached out to touch the tiny stars I'd sewn onto his sleeves. The colour of the glow was mostly blue-tinged, although there were some flecks of purple too, and I'd varied the sizes of all the stars so it looked like a real night sky.

Kazama dumped his bag on the table next to his sword. 'It is indeed.' He began lightly, draping his own clothes over the back of a chair closest to the heating box.

I dropped my hands from his sleeves, wondering if he'd noticed the back of the haori yet. 'Did you see the embroidery on the back?' I asked, fairly certain that he hadn't or he would have said something. I'd spent ages thinking about what I'd embroider onto the back because I'd wanted it to be important. I'd thought about it for hours, thinking about what was important to him or what I thought of when he came to mind. I wanted something that embodied who he was. And one night, while examining the stars in the sky, I'd found my inspiration.

Kazama frowned, affirming my suspicion, so I reached out to slip the haori off his shoulders. 'Here. I'll show you.' I said, ignoring the smug smirk that overcame his face when I unclothed him.

Rolling my eyes, I laid the haori out on the table. I beamed as I saw just how brightly the thread was shining, revealing exactly what I'd chosen to represent him; the three constellations that made up his premonition marking: Ursa Minor, Ursa Major, and Cassiopeia, who his mother had been named after. They were glowing brighter than the stars in the real sky.

Kazama's hand came out to softly brush Polaris, the North Star, at the end of Ursa Minor. I could see straight away that he knew exactly what it was. He was probably a little confused at how I'd known what the constellation looked like since he believed I hadn't seen his marking yet.

I licked my lips nervously, reaching out to touch the constellations too. 'I saw your premonition marking when you were injured. I just thought it was a very fitting decoration for your haori. It's just… really beautiful.' I said shyly, recalling how the marking on his skin had been silver instead of black like a normal tattoo. I had never seen anything like it.

Kazama kept his eyes fixed on the haori but I could tell his focus was on me. 'So, you did see my marking, then. I was wondering how you knew what the constellations looked like.' He said, his astute eyes analysing the embroidery.

I smiled, moving to sit by the heating box again while he continued to inspect his garment. 'I hope I get mine soon. My premonition marking, that is.' I clarified, sighing as I began to brush my hair. Who knew would it would be and what future would be linked to it. Kazama had told me ages ago that whatever marking I got would be a reflection of my future. I just hoped it was a good one.

Kazama eventually picked the haori up, slipping his arms back through it again. 'Hmm. Once you receive your premonition marking you will begin to age as slowly as I do. Then your beauty will be frozen like this for many years.' He said casually, sitting down before me in seiza and smirking.

I stopped brushing my hair for a second, blushing deeply, but I ignored his compliment. 'So once I finish maturation then I'll be stuck in this body?' I asked, flicking the water out of my hairbrush.

The candlelight danced across Kazama's face, causing the stars on his sleeves to flicker also. 'Well, you won't be _stuck_. You will age of course, but you will age so slowly that you will not notice it.' He revealed.

Once I'd finished brushing my hair, my hands fell into my lap. 'Oh.' I said, curiously eyeing him as he raised his eyes to look at me.

Kazama watched me for a while longer, idly and somewhat softly. I didn't say anything as we sat in silence in front of the heating box, basking in warmth and each other's presence. The only negative to the silence was that it forced me to ponder how it would feel to leave him tomorrow morning.

I began to separate my hair into chunks to help it dry easier. Never had I envisaged that parting from Kazama would leave me with such a horrid feeling in my stomach. It was probably exacerbated about how nervous and excited I was to see the Shinsengumi again too, so overall right now I was a mess on the inside. I was pretty proud of myself for seeming so calm on the exterior.

Sighing subconsciously, I finished drying my hair. Kazama was still looking at me with half lidded eyes and I would have given anything to know what he was thinking of. It was a question he always asked me whenever I was staring vacantly too or whenever he sensed I was stressed. Now knew he would ask me out of both concern and curiosity.

Fiddling nervously, I raised my eyes to meet his. 'What… what are you thinking about?' I murmured softly, echoing the question that he'd asked me so many times during our journey.

Kazama sat up straighter at the question, looking at me with amusement. 'Huh. I see you're adopting my habits now, Chizuru.' He said, but he didn't pause to wait for my reaction. 'If you must know, I'm thinking about what I should do tomorrow when we arrive. I must admit I am not fond of the idea of leaving you at the beach to fend for yourself. I'm considering accompanying you to your dogs.' He said.

I was so shocked that I couldn't speak. Kazama would take me to the Shinsengumi? He'd made it clear a long time ago that he was intending to part with me on the shore once we arrived in Ezo. It was hard to believe he was changing his plans just for my sake.

I sat up straighter too, my eyes wide. 'You would do that?' I gasped.

Kazama narrowed his eyes at the mere thought but his gaze was soft as he looked at me. 'Do you want me to?' Was his simple reply.

I thought long and hard about his question. To be honest I wanted to be with him for as long as I could, not to mention I was bound to get lost on the island without his help. But I didn't want him to do anything he didn't want to do. Nor did I want him to have to face the Shinsengumi if he was adverse to it.

I brushed my hair behind my ear, my eyes meeting his. 'Yes, I do.' I said, nodding softly. 'But you don't have to see them if you don't want to. If you take me to the outskirts of their camp then I will travel the rest of the way on my own.' I said.

Kazama inclined his head, his shoulders growing less tense. 'Very well. I shall do as you request.'

I looked down at my hands when he'd finished talking, a warm feeling swirling in my chest. I was happy I got to spend that extra time with him. It made tomorrow not seem so daunting.

After many minutes, Kazama shifted. 'Anyway, I think we should get some rest for tomorrow. Since you have banished me to the floor I ought to arrange my bedding.' He sighed, going to stand up.

I felt a pang of guilt, looking past Kazama's shoulder at the bed in the other room. It was definitely big enough for two people which made me extra guilty. Was it really such a big deal?

I swallowed, prepared to make a deal. 'I will let you sleep in my bed with me on one condition.' I said, immediately catching Kazama's attention.

He watched me as I stood up too, his eyebrows raised in curiosity. 'Is that so? Well, what is your condition?' He asked, his head cocking to one side as he waited for my response.

Tightening my yukata as I stood, I looked him dead in the eye. 'My condition is that you will not try to do anything questionable. The last thing I want is to have you tell you to stop touching me for the whole night.' I said with an undertone of chastisement. My worst nightmare was that I'd spend the night trying to fight off his advances or telling him off for touching my hair or something. I knew he wouldn't do anything _too_ questionable but I wanted to make sure he knew the rules nonetheless.

To my surprise, Kazama let out a short laugh. ' _Questionable_ , Chizuru? What do you take me for?' He asked with amusement, his eyes twinkling as he lightly shook his head.

I narrowed my eyes at his reaction, my cheeks warming up. 'I'm just making sure I don't have to keep pushing your hands away like I normally have to do during the day. A bed is for sleeping in, especially any bed that _we_ share.' I said, putting my hands on my hips.

Kazama continued to chuckle, leaning against the wall as he beheld me. 'I wonder if you will still share that belief after our marriage. But very well, I will adhere to your condition as long as _you_ adhere to it as well. I can't guarantee I'll behave if you don't.' He chuckled, still shaking his head as he walked through the doorway into the other room.

I practically huffed in after him, annoyed that he'd vexed me so easily. My condition really hadn't been that unbelievable. Even he knew he had a tendency to be a little touchy but the difference now was that I didn't mind it as much. But tonight I just wanted some rest.

Sighing, I followed him into the bedroom and stopped by his side as I noticed he'd stopped. 'What?' I asked, following his line of sight to the bed. He was merely staring at the covers with concentration, making me even more confused.

Kazama suddenly sighed, looking down at me. 'I believe we have come to our first major decision as man and wife. What side of the bed do you want?' He asked, picking up my hand with a smirk.

I went red, looking back down at the bed to escape his mirthful gaze. Even the way he said it made it sound like we really were married. If I knew one thing about being married to Kazama it would be that he would never cease to tease me in any way that he could.

I sighed, pouting slightly as he waited for my answer. 'I want that side.' I mumbled, gesturing to the side set against the wall. Instantly afterwards I wondered if I'd made a mistake because it meant Kazama would trap me in.

He let my hand go, setting me free again. 'Very well. It's yours, dear bride.' He said, leaving me to get into bed while he went to move the heating box into this part of the quarters.

Embarrassed, I quickly pulled up the blankets and got onto the mattress. I couldn't decide yet if I'd made the wisest choice in inviting him to sleep in the same bed with me but I presumed I'd find out by the end of the night.

I was pleasantly surprised by how soft the mattress was as I settled into it. I pulled the blanket back over me and adjusted the pillow after I'd laid down, noticing how strange it was to feel the boat was rocking. My body slightly moved from side to side like I was in a cradle and knowing my luck I'd be rocked directly onto Kazama's side of the bed.

I snapped back into reality when Kazama appeared at the side of the bed, lifting up the covers. 'Are you comfortable?' He asked, climbing in beside me. His ruby eyes were on fire as he settled down, almost as hot as the warmth that began to radiate from his body to mine.

I nodded, bringing the covers up to my neck. 'Would you be able to heat up those coals in the heating box? Just to make sure it stays warm in here overnight.' I said, looking down at the box he'd placed in this middle of the room. I could barely see their dull orange glow and as a consequence the room was quickly become colder.

Kazama smirked, looking lazily in its direction, and it was only a second before there was a loud crackle as the coals regained their heat. I watched in awe as they turned from black to vibrant orange, the same colour as Kazama's oni eyes. There would never come a time where his clan power didn't amaze me.

After the coals were reheated, some even lapping with small flames, he rolled onto his side to face me. 'Satisfied?' He asked, his ruby eyes burning with an undertone of bronze.

I quickly wiped the awed smile off my face, nodding.

Kazama chuckled, shifting onto his back. 'Good.' He said, putting his hands behind his head.

Suddenly and without warning, all the candles in the room extinguished at once. The sudden darkness made me jolt in surprise, as did the quiet _whoosh_ sounds emitted as Kazama took away their flame. The only light source now was the moon streaming in from the high window above the bed but even that light was distorted by all the rain.

Sneaking a look at Kazama, I noticed his eyes were already half closed. Even in such low light his skin gleamed with ethereal beauty, paler even than mine and so smooth that he seemed to be made of porcelain. I couldn't count the amount of times I'd stared at Kazama and admired his angelic beauty in this way, trying to fight the equal parts lust and awe that his appearance inspired in me. Truly there were few men who could measure up to him.

He must have known I was staring at him but he didn't bring it up. 'Are you nervous about tomorrow, Chizuru?' He asked out of the blue.

His question was a surprise to me. I hadn't expected him to ask that now of all things.

I pulled a hand out from under the blanket, sweeping my hair out of my face. 'I suppose I am. It's been a long time since I've seen them and I know they've gone through a lot. I guess I'm just worried they might be different people.' I said, letting out a soft sigh. War wasn't very forgiving to those who participated in it. The horror of it could change even the best of us and I was certain the Shinsengumi had lost many men, many of their friends and colleagues. Losing people you loved could change you. I knew that from experience.

Kazama scoffed softly in the back of his throat, lazily raising an eyebrow. 'But are you not also a different person?' He questioned, staring at the ceiling.

I blinked, realising he had a point. 'I suppose so. Hopefully I'm not too different though.' I said, playing idly with a strand of my hair.

Kazama said nothing to that, instead choosing to softly close his eyes, but I could tell he was still concentrated on me. Now that his eyes were closed I could examine him without fear of getting caught, but mingled in with my lust was a new, more powerful emotion.

Sadness.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, knowing exactly where the emotion originated from. I didn't want to leave him tomorrow. When the time came for me to say goodbye, what would I tell him? Would I merely just bow and go on my way, or would I do something else? I really didn't think I could do anything profound enough to express my gratitude to him, or my sadness at having to leave in the first place. I didn't want to think about how long I would need to wait to see him once more.

Closing my eyes too, I shut those thoughts from my mind. If I was supposed to function tomorrow then I'd need to get some rest or I'd be a mess when it was time to awaken. I didn't need to remind myself that I always needed as much sleep as I could get.

But behind my closed eyelids I could still feel Kazama lying beside me, within half an arm's reach from my body. His warmth spread through the sheets and over to me. I couldn't escape his presence, not that I wanted to. Not anymore.

All of a sudden there was a loud _crack_ noise.

I flinched instinctively, my eyes flying open just as a flash of light disappeared. Kazama had also opened his eyes but he didn't look as alarmed as I did. He'd worked out the cause of the sound and light without delay.

'Hmm. Lightning.' He mumbled.

I shifted under the blankets, praying that the boat wouldn't capsize or anything. 'I hope Touma and Itsuki will be ok.' I murmured, wondering if just the two of them would be able to control the boat in a storm.

Kazama gave a half-roll of his eyes. 'Don't worry about those pests, Chizuru.' He sighed, flicking his fringe from his eyes.

I frowned at him even though I was momentarily distracted by his soft hair. 'Those _pests_ are the only ones keeping us afloat at the moment, Kazama-san. And don't roll your eyes at me.' I chastised lightly, crossing my arms under the blanket.

It was then that Kazama rotated his head to face me, trapping my eyes with his. 'That's an interesting request coming from you, kitten, since you roll your own eyes at me all the time.' He said, flashing me a cheeky smirk.

I couldn't help but smile when he did, partly because I knew it was the truth. I'd been caught red handed.

'Anyway,' Kazama said, bringing his hands down to rest on his chest. 'Stop stressing out about the weather, Chizuru. You're in good hands.' He said, his eyes flicking to my lips momentarily.

I blushed, glad to hear his reassurance. 'Yeah, I suppose so. Touma and Itsuki know what they're doing, I guess.' I sighed, putting my confidence into the two men on deck. From what Touma had said it sounded like he had lots of experience in manning a boat and I doubted this was the first storm he'd ever come across. I just had to trust we'd be ok. I'd been in more dangerous situations.

Kazama raised an eyebrow at my comment. 'I should have clarified my remark further, I see. When I said you were in good hands I meant mine.' He said, amused by my assumption.

Clicking my tongue, it was second nature to roll my eyes. 'Of course you did.' I sighed, but not even I could hide the amusement on my face. I should have known that he would never compliment a human or infer that they were competent. That one was on me.

Kazama suddenly rolled onto his side, the blanket bunching up between us. He still had a cheeky smile on his face and eyes filled with mischief but I found his expression so endearing. I could tell he was amused by the fact I'd just rolled my eyes after chastising him for doing the same. But he didn't say anything, nor did he touch me even though I could feel he wanted to. Normally by now he would have reached out to caress my hair or face so I was impressed by his determination to adhere to my condition. Although I kind of wish I'd never made it.

Suddenly there was another crack of thunder and a flash of lightning, scaring me out of my skin. The boat rocked a little harder than usual and I heard a few chairs in the next room grate along the floor as they moved.

I winced, nervously adjusting my pillow. Tonight was going to be a long night.

Kazama watched me fiddle for a bit before he smirked. 'Do you want me to hold you?' He asked, enjoying the way I instantly turned red.

Frowning, I shook my head. 'No. I'm fine. Let's just go to sleep.' I said, pulling more blanket over to my side. I wasn't sure how much sleep I'd get with this weather though. Not to mention with Kazama right next to me.

He rolled effortlessly onto his back again, keeping his eyes on me. 'Very well. Perhaps that is wise.' He said, pulling the blanket a little higher onto this chest. His yukata had come open a little bit and I could see the flat planes of his upper chest, smooth and beautiful.

Kazama smirked at me when he saw me looking, making my blush deeper. 'Goodnight, _Kazama-san_.' He said.

Blushing, I prepared to roll onto my other side. 'Ugh. Goodnight.' I muttered, getting one last glance of him for the night.

I gave him a look, sighing at his boldness for using my 'marital' name. I could only imagine how much thrill he'd find in that name if I really did marry him.

After he'd bid goodnight I rolled onto my other side facing the wall. Who knew how long it would take for me to get to sleep tonight. Between the raging storm outside and the fact that Kazama was in my bed it was likely to take hours.

So with that in mind I closed my eyes, trying not to focus on what dawn would bring.

* * *

 **Author note**

PREWARNING: There are only about 5 chapters left for this story! The end is nigh!

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	53. No longer strangers

**Hey guys, I'm back again with a new chapter! Alas the journey is coming to an end but it is not over yet. I hope you like this chapter and feel free to leave me a review xx**

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 **No longer strangers**

'Chizuru.'

The voice pierced through my dreams, trying to coax me awake.

I fought it off, groaning as I rolled over in my bed. I was much too groggy to know where I was at the moment but all that mattered was that I was warm. The bed I was sleeping in was the most comfortable bed I'd been in for a long time.

The voice came again, rich and warm. 'Chizuru, wake up.' He said.

I let out another groan. 'No.' I muttered, unable to pair a face to the voice as of yet but I wouldn't have cared if it was the emperor himself. I was too tired even to notice that this person was also in the bed with me.

Suddenly the voice sighed. 'Such a child. ' He said, but he said it without frustration. He was amused.

All of a sudden I felt arms snake around my torso and pull me closer. It was such a pleasant sensation that I chose not to fight it, sighing against his skin before I eventually noticed that we were rocking side to side. I could hear the creaking of wood and the cawing of birds outside my window. Unfortunately the strange noises were making it harder for me to get back to sleep.

It was only when the man chuckled against me that I opened my eyes to see Kazama.

'Good morning, kitten.' He said, smirking down at my very confused and tired expression.

Shifting weakly against his chest, everything came back to me. We were on a boat sailing to Ezo to find the Shinsengumi. Last night I'd slept in a bed with Kazama. And right now it was dawn.

I pulled my hand away from Kazama's chest, blushing profusely. 'Are we there?' I asked, ignoring Kazama's satisfied expression as I sat upright and separated our bodies. He was already dressed in his Western clothes and had likely been awake before daybreak. I was pretty sure he'd been in bed for a while though, probably to keep me warm.

Kazama answered before I had time to really process that possibility. 'We're currently anchored just off the shore. We can't get too close or the ship will get caught on the sand bank so we have to take a small paddleboat to the beach. We will depart when you're ready.' He said, sitting up too.

I self-consciously combed back all my crazy bed hair, hoping I didn't look like a freak. 'Oh. Ok.' Was all I said, adjusting my twisted yukata.

Kazama watched me in silence as I slipped off the bed, desperately trying to come to terms with all the emotions I was suddenly feeling. First of all I was embarrassed that I'd cuddled up to Kazama like that without even questioning the action. He was no doubt going to tease me about that for the rest of the morning. But secondly, and more impactfully, I was also overcome with a potent mix of nervousness and excitement. I wanted to be sick.

Today was the day. The day I'd been awaiting for half a year. Who knew it would be so bittersweet for in meeting my friends I would be saying goodbye to another.

I rubbed my tired eyes, noting that Kazama wasn't leaving the bed. 'How long have you been awake for?' I asked, moving briefly into the other room to collect my Western clothes. To my surprise they had all been laid out to dry beside the heating box which Kazama had moved back into this room.

I heard the bed creak as Kazama left it, his boots softly hitting the floor. 'Only an hour or so. I woke up to watch us approach the island although it did take some effort to leave the bed. It was not easy trying to pry your arms from around me.' He said smugly, coming back into my field of view.

I scoffed audibly, more unladylike than I intended. 'Very funny.' I said, but truthfully I was pretty certain he was being serious. The smugness on his face was too obnoxious for it to be a lie.

I continued before he corrected me. 'Anyway, how far away are we from the war front?' I asked.

Kazama strolled into the doorway, leaning on the frame as he watched me gather my clothes. 'We are a fair distance from the war front, not that it matters, because that's not where we're going. I'll take you directly to the Shinsengumi campsite which I presume will be stationed on this side of the island. It will probably only be a short walk, maybe more if there are patrols on the road.' He said.

Nodding, I placed all my clothes onto the table. 'Ok.' I said, turning my head to meet his eyes. 'Well, I'm getting changed now so you can close that door.'

Kazama chuckled, standing upright once more. 'If you insist.' He said, retreating back into the room.

When he was gone I took off my yukata. Kazama had laid out all my clothes last night for me so they'd dry so I felt guilty when I felt his cape because it was still a little damp. It looked like it was pretty hot outside from what I could see through the tiny window above one of the dressers so hopefully it would dry out in the fresh air.

When I had finished dressing, I called out to Kazama. 'I'm done. You can come in now.' I said, rolling up my yukata.

Kazama came in just as I was shoving all my belongings back into my bag. He'd already packed his own bag, which was sitting on the table, and the only thing left to do was secure his sword around his waist.

I hastily swung my bag over my shoulder once I'd finished. 'Ok, I'm ready.' I said, questioning the truth of that statement once it had left my mouth. I wasn't sure I could ever be ready for today. I was so nervous and emotionally warped that I could barely focus on talking.

Picking up his katana from the table, he tied it around his waist. 'Very well. Let's not waste any more time.' He said, opening up the door to the deck.

As I left the captain's quarters the first thing I felt was the wind on my face. I had been right about the hot weather but I hadn't expected it to be so windy, not that I was complaining. When I looked around us I saw we were perched out in deep water, the boat rocking softly with the gentle waves, and past those waves was the shore of Ezo.

'Ah! You're awake!' A beaming voice suddenly blurted, startling me.

Tearing my eyes from the shore in front of us, I smiled warmly as I saw Touma approaching us. 'Good morning.' I said, glad to see him alive and well after yesterday's storm.

His smile grew wider. 'Good morning indeed. I hope you both slept alright last night considering the weather. It was a bit of a nasty one but we got through it, didn't we? But here we are. If you're ready to leave then I'll take you ashore.' He said, turning to Kazama to gain his approval.

All he did was nod, but that was enough for Touma. 'Excellent. Come this way.' He said.

I adjusted the bag strap over my shoulder, letting Kazama take my hand as we followed him. Hs touch was comforting enough that I felt some of the nerves drain from within me, allowing me to breathe a little easier. Although I wasn't going to show it on the outside the truth was that I was moments off a panic attack.

All of a sudden, there was a thunderously loud _boom_.

I flinched, my spare hand instinctively coming up to cover an ear. I'd never heard a sound like that before and quite frankly I never wanted to again. It didn't sound like anything natural or organic like the sound of thunder. Instead it sounded foreboding and… mechanical.

Kazama squeezed my hand as he noticed my panic. 'It's just cannons in the distance, Chizuru.' He said in a low voice.

I swallowed, nodding even though the reality was finally sinking in. This was a war zone. And it was dangerous.

Touma ignored the cannons, probably used to the sound of them by now. 'Alright. If you could both step over here and board the paddleboat then we'll get going.' He said, bringing us to the right side of the boat. The paddleboat was hovering at deck level and supported by a rope pulley system that could be used to lower or raise it. Itsuki was staying on deck so he could lower us down into the water.

Kazama was the first one to duck under the railing and get onto the boat. He offered me a hand when he was safely balanced and I took it, allowing him to help me on board lest I slip over and fall into the ocean many metres below. The boat itself was made of wood and had enough space to comfortably seat about 5 people but it didn't feel very safe at all.

I sat down beside Kazama, threading my arm through his in fear. I didn't like how the boat was rocking in the wind while we were suspended metres into the air. If the boat accidentally fell down into the water then I'd probably break a few bones and who knew what would happen to Touma.

Touma was the last to board and he settled into a spot at the front. 'Itsuki! Lower us down!' He called out to his son who was over near the end of the pulley system.

Itsuki gave his father a small wave before he did as he instructed. There was a small jolt before the boat began to steadily lower itself down towards the water.

It was a lengthy and slow process but it gave me time to absorb the sight of Ezo. It was a very large island, so large it looked like a mainland of its own, and it was covered in dense forest. The tree line started several metres away from the water and the beach sand was slightly darker than the sand back at Aomori. I would have thought the island was abandoned had it not been for the occasional canon strike.

All of a sudden we were lowered onto the water, settling onto the waves.

Touma untied the rope from the boat, tugging on it to let Itsuki know we had successfully descended. 'And here we are. Just a short paddle to the shore and you'll be on your way.' Touma said to Kazama and I, watching the rope ascend as Itsuki pulled it back up again.

I subconsciously held Kazama's arm tighter. The prospect of possibly seeing the Shinsengumi so soon made my head reel.

Touma picked up the two oars resting on the bottom of the boat, beginning to row us to the beach. It was a slow process even though there were only small waves but we were so far away from the shore that the current was a bit stronger than usual. Touma was doing reasonably well though considering he was rowing a boat with 3 people in it.

I looked out at the waves, idly lifting one hand to graze the surface of the water as it splashed up against the side of the boat. Being on the water reminded me of when Kazama and I had gone swimming on his birthday. It had been one of the best days of the journey and not just because of the kiss. It had been a great day because of _him_ , because we got along so well. Although he was definitely the most egotistical and irritating man I'd ever met he was also the most entertaining.

Bringing my hand out of the water, I looked forward again just in time to see we were almost there.

Touma lifted his oars out of the water so we could glide up onto the sand. 'Here we are. Hold tight for a second.' He said, placing the oars down and jumping out of the boat.

I watched curiously as he sunk calves-deep into the water and walked around to the front, where he pulled the boat up onto the sand so it wouldn't float away. I was grateful because it meant I wouldn't have to enter into the water myself, although I was sure Kazama would have carried me if I'd asked. I smiled at the thought.

Suddenly Kazama stood up, perfectly balanced even though the boat was slightly unstable. 'Let's go.' He said, offering me a hand as I stood too.

I placed my hand into his, appreciative of the help as he guided me off the boat and onto the damp sand. 'Thanks.' I said, gracing him with a small smile.

He didn't have time to respond before Touma interrupted. 'Well, I suppose this is where we part. It was an honour to meet you both. Although I'm not sure why you've chosen to come to Ezo of all places I do hope you enjoy your stay.' He said, bowing respectfully.

Kazama just inclined his head but I gave a small bow back, truly grateful for his assistance. 'Thank you, Touma-san. We really appreciative your help. I hope the trip back is calmer than the one here.' I said, smiling sweetly.

He chuckled, nodding in agreement. 'Me too. Well, I better be off.' He said, looking at both of us in turn before moving back into the water. 'Stay safe!'

Kazama and I merely watched as he pushed the boat back into the water, quickly jumping in it before it got too deep. And with one quick but enthusiastic wave he picked up his oars and left us on the shore.

Once he was out of ear range, I sighed. 'We're finally here.' I said, mostly to myself. I was standing on the island of Ezo and living the scenario that I'd been fantasising about for months. I'd dreamed of this moment for so long and finally here I was, the sounds of war echoing all around me from far in the distance.

After a long reflective silence, Kazama eventually took my hand. 'We should go, Chizuru.' He said, but there was strange twinge to his voice that I'd seldom heard.

It sounded like… apprehension.

I swallowed, letting him lead me off the beach and towards the forest. I'd always thought about how Kazama would feel in saying goodbye to me on this day. It had often seemed so surreal that I'd never truly considered it but now that we were here I found myself wondering. Would he miss me? Would he think about me often? Would it hurt him to say goodbye? Likely it would be a mix of things. On one hand this marked the end of his journey too. This marked the end of his stay in the human world, the end of his separation from the people that he cared so much about. But I knew he cared about me too so in some ways it made this bittersweet. For both of us.

Kazama brought me over to the start of a path leading into the forest. 'We will follow this track to the camp. I can already hear sounds of human settlement from within the forest.' He said, my hand still in his.

I nodded, curious as to what exactly he could hear, but I didn't ask him. Instead I decided to listen for it myself.

Keeping silent as I selected a tendril of golden energy, I brought out of the darkness. It only took a second for me to direct the energy through my body and into my head where I used it to fortify my hearing. I would never get over how amazing it was that this was possible.

I didn't have any time to ponder my powers because unusual sounds began to fill my ears. I narrowed my eyes as I tried to distinguish them from one another; bird calls, trees rustling, the sound of the ocean behind me… and other noises, too. Noises like the sound of muffled footsteps, murmuring voices and the clanging of metal all blended into one confusing array of sound.

Eventually I withdrew my oni hearing as the noise began to irritate my sensitive ears. 'I think I hear it too. It still sounds pretty far away though. Maybe a few kilometres.' I said, squinting at the forest as if I expected to see it appear right in front of me.

Kazama smirked at my deduction, keeping his scarlet eyes on the road. 'Hmm. I see you're getting better at using your abilities to deduce distance.' He noted, proud at my attempt.

I smiled, looking down at my feet as I kicked a stone. 'I suppose I am getting better.' I said, my smile slowly fading as I realised how different it would be in the company of humans again. I didn't need to ask the Shinsengumi to know they would be uncomfortable in seeing my use my powers. With all their negative past experiences with onis such as Kazama they had developed a certain mistrust. Would they feel that way about me too?

I swallowed, kicking another stone and watching it roll a few metres away. 'Do you think I have enough knowledge about my oni powers to practice and get better on my own?' I asked, curious as to if I'd need to ask Sen or Kimigiku to take Kazama's place as my mentor.

He answered immediately. 'Of course. I've taught you the basics of all you need to know so now you just have to practice becoming more efficient. The more you practice the less energy you'll need and therefore the more you'll be able to do. I expect you to be nearing my level when I see you again in Kyoto.' He said, peering down at me with a smirk.

My heart skipped a beat at the reminder of his promise but I managed to forge a reply. 'I will have _passed_ your level when you see me in Kyoto, Kazama-san. You're the one who needs to keep training.' I jabbed, biting my lip to hide a smile.

He chuckled, his smile making the joke even more worth it. 'Huh, we shall see about that. It's likely you won't get any time to practice anyway, Chizuru, since you only get out of bed at midday.' He teased. Living and travelling with me for 6 months had opened his eyes to a lot of my habits and one of those was sleeping in as late as humanly possible.

I rolled my eyes, humouring him a scoff. 'We'll see.' Was all I said.

Kazama looked at me with a smug smirk, enjoying my confidence. The truth was if I really did want to be better than him by the time I saw him again then I'd need to train everyday from morning until night. Kazama was exceptionally well-trained even for an oni and I'd seen that first hand. Perhaps to a degree his ego was justified because of this reason. Not that I'd ever admit that.

Finally I looked away from him, unable to withstand the heat in his eyes. 'So… what will you do once you leave me?' I asked, knowing only a part of his plans.

Kazama seemed to ponder this for a while before responding. 'I will meet with the Satsuma lead captain in the opposing camp. I presume I'll be dealing with some uninteresting, unimportant matters before I am permanently free to do as I please. No doubt they will try and get as much from me as they can before they officially release me from my debt.' He explained, letting out a heavy sigh.

When I glanced up at him, it was in that moment that I saw just how tired he seemed. He'd been in the human world fighting their fight for six years now. I could only imagine how exhausting it would be to be separated from my friends and family for six years, living in a place where I had to hide who I was.

Kazama continued when I said nothing. 'After that I'll go back to my clan. It will take about a month, maybe a bit less, before I arrive. And once I'm back I'll resume my duties; the first of which is to prepare my living quarters for a guest.' He said, his lips tweaking upwards in the beginning of a smirk.

I frowned, perplexed by his statement. 'Who will the guest be?' I asked, supposing it was normal for him to have guests in his village. No doubt many of the oni leaders would be wanting to catch up with him after so long in the human world.

Kazama smiled slyly, enjoying my naivety. 'My bride, of course.' He said, chuckling as I sent him an embarrassed glare but he hadn't finished speaking yet. 'Do not fret; I have my own private living quarters so we will not have to share with anyone. I believe you'll quite enjoy it, Chizuru, as it has an exquisite view of the lake. There's also a garden you can tend to.' He said, holding tightly onto my hand as if he knew I wanted to flee.

I clicked my tongue, looking away from his penetrative gaze. 'You still have to get me to marry you first.' I mumbled under my breath, cheeks on fire as Kazama spoke so laxly about our life together. It always amazed me how bold he could be even when discussing such topics. I could barely _think_ about such things without blushing.

Kazama tugged me closer to his side, chuckling at my facial expression. 'I think you're underestimating my capacity for persuasion, Chizuru.' He said, challenging me to refute it.

I scoffed, deliberately looking away from him. 'You have a better chance of persuading Osen-chan to marry you.' I lied, but the statement did exactly what I wanted it to.

Kazama screwed up his face, giving me an unimpressed glare. 'The mere thought repulses me.' He said with full confidence and seriousness.

I smiled at his reaction, expecting that to be the case, but it reminded me of a question I'd never had answered. Kazama was yet to tell me exactly why he and Sen disliked each other so much. I was expecting it to be a serious reason because of the depth of their hatred but no matter what I considered I couldn't think of anything.

Once Kazama's scowl had disappeared, I tentatively decided to seek an answer. 'So why do you and Osen-chan dislike each other so much?' I asked, hoping that he'd answer me.

However, the look that overcame his face told me that he wouldn't.

Kazama narrowed his eyes as he stared straight forward. 'It doesn't matter. All that matters is that we do not get along anymore. That's all you need to know.' He said, intending to end the conversation right then.

I raised an eyebrow, interested by something he'd said. ' _Anymore_?' I provoked.

Kazama let out a heavy sigh, looking down at me with chastisement in his eyes. 'If you wish to know so badly I'm sure she will be more than willing to share the details. I'm surprised she hasn't done so yet, since she seems to enjoy making everyone aware of it.' He said bitterly, a small pout on his lips when he ended our eye contact.

I watched him for a bit longer, studying his body language. He wasn't angry, perse, but perhaps… embarrassed? Dejected? Whatever Sen had done it seemed like it had injured him which was surprising to me. I couldn't imagine Sen ever being able to do something that would cause Kazama to feel that sort of way.

I stepped closer to his side, determined to persuade him. 'But I want to hear the story from you.' I said, adopting an innocent expression when his eyes snapped to meet mine. If I sensed that he really, _really_ didn't want to tell me then I would drop the issue, but at the moment all I sensed was that the story would hurt his pride. It only made me want to know even more.

Kazama eventually caved, unable to look away from my large brown eyes. 'Fine.' He muttered, shaking his head in defeat. Even he knew he wasn't strong enough to deny me for too long. It shouldn't have felt good to be able to manipulate him in this way but it sort of did, knowing that someone as meek as me could bring him to his knees.

He rested his spare hand on the hilt of his katana. 'Many decades ago when Sen was just an adolescent, her family and her came to my village on business. She was 16 at the time.' He began, speaking quicker than usual as if the words were poison in his mouth. 'During her stay we spent many hours in each other's company and became rather acquainted with one another. Our families hoped that we would consider each other as potential partners, but Sen was not very welcoming of the idea. The day before she left my village, three months after she'd arrived, I asked for her hand in marriage and she refused me.' He said, refusing to meet my gaze.

I was shocked. I couldn't decide what was more of a surprise; the fact that Sen and Kazama had been friends, or that he'd asked her to marry him and she'd said no. It seemed that Kazama just had very bad luck in pursuing women. First Sen, then my mother, and then me. Perhaps there were other women too.

I nodded slowly, trying not to cringe. 'Why did she reject your proposal?' I asked.

Kazama suddenly wiped the scorn off his face, standing up bit straighter. 'Her reason was that I was too narcissistic.' He said coolly, as if he didn't believe it. 'Since that day we only grew less and less fond of each other. Our poor relationship is now well-known throughout the oni clans.' He said.

I bit my lip. No wonder Kazama was so bitter towards her. He didn't take rejection very well at all and knowing Sen she would have been equally as unpleasant back simply out of spite.

Kazama stared down at me after a few seconds of silence, watching my thoughtful expression. 'I am rather glad things turned out the way they did, however. For every part of me that is proud she is ten times as prissy. I can think of no worse punishment that having to spend my lifespan with someone so proper and whiny.' He said, shuddering a little.

I merely sighed at the words he'd used to describe her. 'Well, she's not _that_ prissy. But I suppose it was for the best anyway. I don't think you and her would be a good match at all.' I said idly, envisaging an entirely loveless marriage between them. I would have hated to be a child born to two parents who married for duty and not love, especially a child born to Sen and Kazama. I could hardly imagining them lasting more than half a decade.

Kazama seemed interested by my observation and he raised an eyebrow. 'Oh? So what sort of a woman _do_ you think would be a good match for me? I'm curious.' He said, urging me to speak.

I sighed, unable to avoid his glare. 'I don't know. Someone who is also unbearable.' I began, trying not to smirk as he frowned at me. 'A woman who doesn't mind a man who is grumpy all the time or doesn't do any housework. Maybe a woman who likes men who have no manners and can't pour their own sake. Or maybe…'

'Ok, you've made your point.' Kazama cut me off, not enjoying the truth as much as I was.

I pressed my hand to my mouth to hide my smile as he shook his head at me. He had a small smile on his own face, admiring my boldness at calling him out so audaciously. He'd mentioned that was one of the qualities he liked in me.

Kazama and I didn't speak for a while after that. I was surprised by how quickly time was passing even though I wanted it to go slow. Every minute we walked brought us closer and closer to the Shinsengumi camp and consequently I grew more and more nervous. I really, really hoped I wouldn't cry or throw up or something even more embarrassing but I was no longer certain I could control myself. And my anxiety only increased when Kazama mentioned we were only about 15 minutes away.

Desperately seeking to distract myself, I went to initiate conversation. 'Kazama-san, what…?'

My words were cut off by a hand around my mouth.

My eyes went wide and I froze, even though I shortly realised it was Kazama who'd done so.

'Don't speak. Come with me.' He suddenly whispered, his mouth against my ear. If I hadn't have been so shocked the sound would have made me shiver.

Kazama took his hand off my mouth and led me off the path into the forest, leaving me unaware of what was happening. Had he seen someone? Heard someone? Were there soldiers up ahead? I kept my mouth shut even as he tugged me down to crouch behind a large assortment of shrubbery. My heart was pounding even though I had no idea what was going on.

Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and I requested a telepathic link. Kazama accepted it instantly.

 _What happened?:_ I asked urgently, tearing my eyes away from the path so I could look at him.

His astute eyes flickered from tree to tree, their pupils tiny slits. _I hear soldiers up ahead. There's only two. It's best to avoid alerting them of our presence even if they aren't dangerous:_ he explained.

I turned back to the path as well, activating my oni hearing so I could hear what he was hearing. It only took a second before I began to notice noises of people approaching. Kazama was right; there were only about two of them and I could tell by the heaviness of their steps that they were male. I could hear their swords too, bumping against their thighs as they walked.

I was just about to ask Kazama another question when I heard a male voice just down the path.

'I don't understand why we're the ones who have to check this out. What's the likelihood of someone coming from the mainland to _this_ forsaken place?' One of the men said, letting out a very annoyed sigh after his complaint.

The next man clicked his tongue, obviously irritated. 'Oh, shut up. If the captain says he saw a ship then who are we to argue. Really we should be glad we get to leave that hell-hole of a campsite for a while. If we find someone then we'll take them to the captain and if we don't then who cares. The war will end today regardless of who the hell decided it was a good idea to sail to Ezo this morning.' The second man said.

I froze. They were talking about us. It never occurred to me that our boat would be spotted coming in to shore. Thankfully I knew Touma and Itsuki would be long gone by now and therefore out of harm's way.

Finally the soldiers came into view, close enough to me that I could see their faces and what they were wearing.

My heart stopped in my chest. That blue… that familiar shade of blue…

They were wearing the blue and white haoris of the Shinsengumi, white sashes tied around their foreheads. It had been so long since I'd seen the uniforms that I'd forgotten just how beautiful they were. I didn't recognise the men but they were both young, probably in their mid to late twenties, but I still wanted to run out and meet them.

They reminded me of home.

Kazama's grip on my arm tightened as he sensed my energy, warning me not to move. So I stayed there. I stayed in the shrubbery until they'd disappeared from my sight, their conversation becoming less and less clear the further away they got. And soon enough I couldn't hear them at all.

As soon as it was safe, Kazama stood up and took me with him. 'We should keep moving. The sooner we get you to safety the better.' He said quietly, but he knew I was barely listening. All I could think about was the unbridled emotion bubbling in my chest and the adrenaline burning through my veins.

Kazama brought us back onto the path which was starting to climb steeply upwards now. 'Come now, Chizuru. We haven't got long to go.' He said, tugging me forwards as I was unable to walk on my own.

Following him soundlessly, it was a few more minutes before I began to regain my wits. This was really happening. I was so close now, so close I was beginning to smell the smoke from the campsite. The scent wafted through the trees and burned my lungs but to me it was divine. It reminded me of what was waiting for me up ahead.

The path was bringing us further up a small hill. The trees were getting a little sparser as we approached and my legs burned with exertion as Kazama and I hiked up to the top.

Swallowing, I eventually managed to speak. 'He said… one of the soldiers said the war was ending today.' I noted, more to myself than to Kazama.

He responded anyway. 'If that's the case then they must be almost all dead or considering a surrender. I presume the latter.' He remarked, giving no justification to his opinion but I believed him anyway. I wanted to believe him because I didn't want to believe the alternative. I didn't want to think about death.

Kazama and I said nothing the further we walked along the path. Despite my lingering shock I took a peek at him, noticing that his face had hardened into a sort of scowl. It reminded me of how he'd always looked at the start of the journey when he'd been constantly irritated and impatient. It was strange to see such a sombre expression on his face at this point in time.

But I could kind of understand why that was. Even though I was excited about seeing the Shinsengumi again I noticed I was also scowling. I was scowling because deep down I knew what was coming.

We'd have to say goodbye.

I swallowed the lump in my throat just as we emerged onto the top of the hill. On the other side was a very steep decline before the forest eventually smoothed out again. It was a breathtaking view, but Kazama and I stopped not to admire the scenery but to take in the sight of dozens of white tents bunched into a manmade clearing just a few hundred metres away. We were so high up that we could see _into_ the campsite despite the massive 5 metre walls erected around the clearing. Within those walls were people bustling around like ants on an ant hill, some dressed in blue and white haoris and some in western clothes.

Looking down at this view it was like a massive hand was squeezing my heart. The sight was so welcoming yet so painful knowing that these men had been toiling here for months without respite. My friends had been here doing the same thing… no, they _were_ here. Somewhere in this amass of tents, boxes, stables and equipment I could just _feel_ they were here.

Soon after Kazama looked away from the campsite and at me, eyes serious. 'I advise that you sneak in as opposed to meeting the soldiers at the front gate as they are unlikely to recognise you. You're strong enough now that you can use your oni powers to scale the wall but make sure you do so to the right of the camp where there are less people. Then you can search for your friends from the inside.' He said, his voice sounding much too clinical for my liking. I didn't want my last moments with Kazama to be spent with him sounding like he was giving me an oni lesson.

I nodded, grateful for his advice regardless. 'Thanks, Kazama-san.' I said in a whisper, unable to tear my eyes away from the sight laid out before me.

Kazama let out a slow, soft breath. 'I suppose this is where we part, then.' He said with no emotion, in no particular tone.

I forced myself to turn towards him, his words cutting me like a knife. 'I suppose it is.' I said, looking down at my shoes.

I couldn't say goodbye without telling him once more how much I appreciated his help. I'd told him so many times in the past but this was my very last opportunity.

Kazama said nothing as I came to stand before him, unwilling and incapable of looking into his eyes. 'I need to thank you, for everything. I know I've said it a million times but it's true. I could never have gotten to Ezo without you. I am indebted.' I said, fighting the horrid feeling in my gut as I began to say goodbye. This was worse than I could have ever imagined.

Kazama only watched me carefully with no particular expression. 'You owe me nothing, Chizuru. I am merely grateful I could be of assistance. And this is not a permanent goodbye, remember, as I will see you soon in Kyoto. Don't do anything reckless in the meantime.' He sighed, a hint of playful accusation in his voice.

I smiled, glad to feel some tension drain from the air. 'I'll try not to.' I said, feeling a silly blush creep onto my cheeks.

There was another period of awkward silence before I decided just to get it over and done with.

'Well.' I said, clasping my hands together in front of me. 'I should go. I hope everything goes well wherever your headed. Good luck in Akimura, too.' I added, giving him a polite smile even though inside I wanted to break.

Kazama inclined his head, hand resting on his katana. 'Thank you, Chizuru. I wish you good luck as well.' He said.

Another awkward silence. Another moment of torture.

Letting out a soft breath, I finally stepped away from him. 'Bye, Kazama-san.' I said, some part of me hoping he'd stop me from leaving. I wanted him to reach out to me and grab my hands, to say anything else just to keep my company for a minute longer.

But he said nothing. And neither did I. And even after all of the horrible and difficult things I'd had to do on this journey, turning my back on him was by far the most painful.

When I started walking I immediately regretted leaving him without saying a few more words, perhaps some words that were a bit more heartfelt. But it was too late now. I didn't want to look back in case I saw he wasn't there anymore because I had a feeling that it would break my heart.

I spent the whole decline trying my hardest not to burst into tears. I couldn't cry now or I wouldn't be able to stop. I didn't understand my own emotions nor could I even determine what they were so I kept walking all the way to the bottom of the hill. The whole time I cursed myself for allowing that to be the goodbye I'd given Kazama.

Suddenly the hair on the back of my neck prickled, warning me that someone was close.

I spun around in shock at the speed of the approach but he'd already grabbed me, his hands clasping my upper arms.

Kazama just looked at me, a frazzled look in his eye, and I was so surprised that I said nothing. I could only stare at him with wide unblinking eyes as he did the same. The silence was even more deafening than before.

What on earth was he doing?

Kazama's fingers eventually softened but he didn't let me go entirely. 'Wait, Chizuru.' He said. His voice was strained which was unusual and I was still so shocked at his unexpected return that I made no move to speak.

I stood there, waiting in awkward anticipation as I watched Kazama struggle to get any words out. But eventually he did.

'Look, Chizuru…you don't have to go.' He said, his voice low.

I said nothing, considering if this was a dream. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think Kazama would plead this of me. I never thought I'd see that look on his face either, a look of vulnerability. It made my heart race and stop at the same time as did the implications of his words.

Still I said nothing, feeling the blood drain from my face. Was he… ?

Kazama suddenly squared his shoulders, an air of confidence suddenly returning to him. 'Come with me to Akimura, Chizuru. Leave Ezo with me once the war is over and if you wish to leave my village I'll take you back to Kyoto personally, any time you want. But you don't have to go back now.' He said, his fingers gripping me tightly once again.

 _Oh._

Hearing him beg me was sweeter than I thought possible and for a moment I was tempted, so unbelievably tempted. It would be so easy for me just to leave right here and now and let him take me to Akimura. I wouldn't have to feel this pain of leaving him. I could continue to get to know him more and probably fall deeper in love with him. It would be so easy.

But my heart demanded closure. I needed to see Hijikata and I needed to see the others. And I could not be persuaded otherwise.

Swallowing, I gently plucked Kazama's hands off my arms and held them in my own. 'I'm sorry.' I said, my voice weak and fragile. 'I have to see them. Even you know deep down I have to see this through, Kazama-san.' I said. I couldn't look at his face in case I saw pain or rejection. I couldn't bear to see such emotions on his face.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw his shoulders drop but only by a millimetre. 'I did know, but I hoped I could encourage you to choose the contrary.' He said, hints of perhaps embarrassment in his voice. I'd hurt him.

Bringing up the courage, I stared up at him. He was entirely avoiding my eye contact but the sight was so sweet and so unlike Kazama that my heart was filled with warmth. He wasn't one for sentiment or emotion so for him to beg me to stay said a lot about how much he truly wanted me to go with him.

I was just about to say something when his fingers tightened around mine, soothing yet possessive. 'I'll be patient with you, Chizuru. I know you're… conflicted.' He said, and by the brief strain in his voice I knew he was talking about Hijikata. 'But before you leave I want you to be honest. To yourself. And to me. I don't want you to keep your guard up anymore.'

I tensed, not expecting those words to leave his mouth. His voice was even lower now. I could tell he was serious.

I was afraid to look at him. After what he'd just said about knowing that I was still fighting against my feelings for him, I felt like one more glance into his garnet eyes would be my undoing. All I could focus on was the wild beating of my heart and the way his words sliced through me, begging to be heard. I wanted to be honest with myself as well. I wanted to be honest to him, but he was right that Hijikata complicated things.

But Hijikata wasn't here now. And I didn't actually know if he loved me.

Hesitantly, I raised my eyes to meet his. I could see in the way Kazama's gaze drilled into mine that he needed some kind of response. He needed me to say something, to either defend myself or to just give in, and even as my mouth opened I didn't know which route I'd take.

Letting out a shaky breath, I couldn't look at him anymore. 'Kazama-san...' I murmured, but I found that his name was all I could pronounce. In reality there were so many things I wanted to tell him. I wanted to say that all I desired was to be able to be honest with myself, to go after what my heart wanted. I wanted to tell him that I loved him.

But I couldn't.

Kazama waited patiently for me to continue but he noticed pretty quickly that I wouldn't. So instead he sighed, grabbing my wrists gently and pulling me closer. 'There is something I need to say to you. And I want you to hear me out. Do you promise to do so?' He asked.

His eyes were no longer mellow or timid, almost as if he was about to chastise me even though he wasn't. It scared and exhilarated me at the same time to think of what he would need so desperately to say.

So I just nodded, my palms beginning to get clammy.

Kazama paused momentarily after my permission but not for very long. 'It's no surprise to you that I have never gotten along with any of your samurai friends, least of all _Hijikata_.' He began, wincing even as he said the name. 'You must also know that I think he is a most unappealing choice for a mate, especially for an oni of pure blood, and it was for this reason that I used to so strongly oppose your union when you were living with them in Kyoto. My pride demanded that I make you understand that I would be a much better choice.' He sighed, looking down at our intertwined hands.

He stopped talking for long enough to make me wonder if he'd finished, but he hadn't. 'But it's no longer about my pride, not anymore. It hasn't been a matter of pride for a long time.' He said, lifting his eyes to meet mine.

He sighed, continuing immediately. 'Now it's a matter of the heart, Chizuru.'

My mouth fell open, my feet planted to the floor in utter disbelief. Had he just… was he trying to tell me that…?

Shutting my mouth again, I realised he'd stunned me into silence. I'd never thought I'd ever hear him hint to his feelings towards me and now, at our last moment together, he was telling me how he really had felt all this time. I was so stricken with incredulity that I had to gape again as I played his words over and over again in my head.

Kazama sighed at my lack of response, his countenance softening a bit. 'I hadn't wished to tell you the truth about my feelings any earlier because I feared it might scare you. But I think at this point you deserve to know. I want to reassure you that whatever intimacy we shared I did not consider as a simple frivolity. I care about you more than I have for any other woman, Chizuru, and I have no doubt my affection could develop into something deeper.'

He broke one hand away from mine, running it through his hair nervously. I'd never seen him so uncomfortable before in all the years I'd known him, but eventually he broke the silence again.

'In fact…' He sighed, heavily and with fragility. 'I am quite certain I've fallen for you.'

I spluttered a bit, but that was all I could manage. The mere thought was enough to make my head explode. I was almost as shocked by his sudden confession as I was when I'd found out I was an oni.

 _I am quite certain I've fallen for you._

Those words, so timidly spoken yet I knew they were the truth. After all these months of fearing my feelings were one-sided, or even just not reciprocated to the same degree…Now I knew that for every amorous thought I'd had about him he was likely to have shared the same thought. For every glance I'd made in his direction he had returned it. Yes, I was bewildered beyond all belief but I was also… relieved.

I was _so_ relieved.

Before I knew what I was doing, I stepped forward to close the distance between us.

My arms wrapped around his torso and I pressed my cheek to his chest, hearing his heart pound behind his ribs. It was so strong that I could feel it pushing against my skin like it wanted to escape and it wasn't too long afterwards that his warm arms came up to return the embrace.

As I stood there in his arms it was like a final puzzle piece had clicked into position within me. For a while I didn't even realise there were tears trickling from my eyes as he slowly combed his fingertips through my hair, his chin resting on my head.

I couldn't believe how _right_ it felt. It was almost terrifying how fiercely my heart was begging me to stay, to accept his offer to return to Akimura with him. I was still numb with shock and trembling with adrenaline but I had enough sense about me to understand that Kazama had been right when he said this wasn't just a simple frivolity.

It was serious. For the both of us.

I sniffed, pulling my head far enough away so that I could peer demurely into his eyes. It was so difficult because they were so bright, so alight with flame, that I felt as if they'd burn a hole through my head. But I didn't look away.

Kazama looked at me quizzically but his fingers continued to massage through my hair. 'Are you going to say something, Chizuru? Or are you going to continue to cry and leave me in the dark as to whether that is a good or bad sign.' He sighed, a little unnerved by my unexplained silence and my tears.

My cheeks were hot as I timidly brought one of his hands up to my face. 'Do you really mean it? What you said?' I asked, answering his question with another question, my voice only a broken whisper. I was acting like such a baby but I couldn't stop the tears. I was too overwhelmed, too happy, and swimming with crushing nerves too. I was about to have a mental breakdown.

Kazama frowned at me as if he was insulted. 'Of course I meant it. Did you find my words ingenuine?' He questioned, the vaguest tinge of pink dusting his cheeks.

I shook my head. I just couldn't believe they'd left his mouth.

Kazama's face relaxed and he cupped my cheek with his hand, wiping a tear away with his thumb. 'Good.' He said, like it was a relief. 'But now I need to know if my sentiment is reciprocated, Chizuru. I think it only fair.' He said, idly tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.

I looked down at the ground humbly, sparks running down my body from his touch. The sentiment was most definitely reciprocated.

But he already knew that.

I wiped a salty tears from my face but more took its place. 'I think you know very well the answer to that question, Kazama-san.' I said, barely a whisper. I had full confidence that he'd suspected my feelings for him for many weeks now. Although I'd done my best to hide it that didn't mean it wasn't obvious, particularly after all the times I'd kissed him and allowed him to kiss me.

Kazama's shoulders relaxed a little more as he heard my words. 'Perhaps I had my suspicions, but I want to hear it from these lips.' He said, tilting my chin upwards and sliding his thumb over my mouth. His eyes swirled with heat, with gentleness, but also with something a little more licentious as well.

My lip trembled. I couldn't believe the words that were forming on the tip of my tongue.

'I think I've fallen for you too.' I said in a ghostlike whisper.

As soon as I said the words it was like a burden was lifted from my shoulders. Now I didn't have to hide anything anymore and neither did he. There was no more uncertainty about how either of us felt about each other and it was both thrilling and terrifying. I couldn't hide behind bashful cheeks or averted glances anymore. He knew the truth.

Kazama slowly lifted my hand up to his mouth, pressing his lips against my fingers. 'Hmm.' He hummed with a slight smirk, before he raised my chin upwards.

By the time I realised his intention I had no time to prepare myself. His lips pressed against mine, softly yet covetously.

My eyes widened momentarily in surprise before I let him pull me hard against him, his eyelashes tickling my cheeks. I returned the kiss shortly after, standing on my toes so I could wrap my hands around his neck. This kiss was so gentle and so mellow yet I could sense the hunger. It was a softer hunger than what I'd sensed from him in the past but a hunger no less.

I could never grow tired of this.

All too soon he pulled away, swiping some hair away from my face. He didn't say anything for a while but it gave me time to gather my thoughts. I'd kissed him again, probably my last kiss before he left, and it had been more perfect than ever.

Kazama eventually took one of my hands in his, his eyes boring into mine. 'That's proof that we're no longer strangers.' He said, our faces still close together.

I was vaguely aware of the warm blush on my cheeks as I gazed up at him, lost in his scarlet eyes. In just a sentence he'd managed to summarise exactly what we were, people who were once strangers but were no longer. And we would never be strangers again. Not after everything we'd gone through on this journey.

Taking my spare hand into his, he raised it to his chest. 'And now that I've told you how I feel, it's your turn to fulfil your side of the deal.' He said, his lips tweaking upwards in a smirk.

I frowned, my haziness waning to make way for confusion. What deal?

Kazama saw the confusion on my face and chuckled. 'Do you not remember the promise you made only a few weeks into the journey? You said if I told you my feelings and meant it, that you would consider my hand in marriage.' He highlighted, watching my expression as it my eyes widened.

He was talking about when I'd been drunk at the inn! I'd made a promise to him while intoxicated that I would think about marrying him if he told me he loved me and meant it. I couldn't believe he still remembered it. Or that he was actually holding me to it.

My whole face was red but I managed to splutter out a response. 'You… you can't… I was drunk!' I defended, unable to meet his eyes.

Kazama just chuckled, pressing my hand to his heart. 'Drunk words are sober thoughts, dear bride. But fear not, I don't expect an answer now. By the time I see you again in Kyoto you will be so deprived of my company that _you_ will propose to _me_.' He said confidently, his heart beating against my palm.

I just shook my head, his boldness rendering me mute. Only Kazama would have the audacity to discuss something like this.

After his chuckles had subsided he used his spare hand to lift my chin again, forcing me to look at him. 'I suppose I'll find out your answer soon. But for now, you know what we must do. We cannot stand here all day as much as I would like us to.' He said, sliding his finger down my jaw.

He was right. Not only was it dangerous just standing here in the middle of a path but it was just delaying the inevitable.

Nodding, I peered at him meekly and fought back tears.

Kazama sighed at my emotion, and when he took my hand I felt his mind barrier press to mine. I let him in immediately albeit with some confusion, relieved at the smooth and warm presence that filled me.

 _Goodbye, Chizuru_ : he said, his voice reverberating through my head.

I swallowed. I had to reassure myself that it was only a temporary separation.

 _Goodbye, Kazama-san_ : I replied.

Kazama smirked, in the same way that I'd come to find charming.

And then he vanished.

Blinking, it took a few seconds to register that he was no longer with me. In the place that he stood was nothing, a rush of air washing over me from his departure. His strong presence had already entirely faded and I was left lost without his warmth.

I stood there for a few silent minutes, finding it hard to process that he was actually gone.

 _Kazama-san_ …

I was eventually roused from my daydream by the itchiness of the tears running down my face. I hastily wiped them away, ashamed to be crying yet understanding why I was. I already missed him, more than I thought I ever could. I didn't want to think about how much worse it would be in the coming weeks. Or months. Who knew how long before I'd see him again.

It was then that I remembered the real reason I was here. To find the Shinsengumi.

Turning around, I could see the high wall through the trees in the distance. There was only a few metres between me and my friends, only a few metres between me and the end of the 6 month journey it had taken to get here. I was almost scared to take my first step on my own.

But I did it anyway. I walked towards the camp, keeping to the shadows of the trees.

Prepared for what awaited me.

* * *

 **Ending notes**

 **Ooooooohh! I hope you liked this chapter. I was so motivated to write it which is why it was done so quickly! Please leave a review and let me know what you think xx  
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 **If you're wondering, the line 'That's proof we're no longer strangers' is actually what Kazama says after he kisses Chizuru in the Hakuoki otome games. You can buy these games for yourself or you can watch the playthrough on Youtube with the original voice actors. I highly recommend checking them out! There are routes for all of the main characters and they're very romantic yay!**

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	54. Reunion

**The fated chapter has finally arrived! Please let me know what you think about it in a review :D Thanks to everyone who left such amazing reviews since the last time I updated. They really help to motivate me and I'm just so blown away with how generous you all are xx**

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* * *

 **Reunion**

I couldn't believe I'd gotten myself into this situation.

I was currently seated on the floor in a small tent, my hands and feet tied and a bag over my head. I hadn't intended for this to happen but I supposed it was to be expected. After all, even with all my oni abilities I was still relatively inexperienced in how to use them practically in the field. I should have been aware that someone would find me skulking about the campsite.

And found me they had.

I hadn't even been looking around for five minutes when I'd been spotted. I'd frozen like a statue in shock when a soldier had started yelling and pointing, hollering at anyone and everyone around them to pursue me. I hadn't known whether to run or stay since this was where I wanted to be, but by the time I'd made my decision seven men had already cornered me. I hadn't even had a chance to tell them who I was before I'd been tied up with a bag over my head and placed in a small storage tent.

Apparently they were waiting for one of their captains to arrive before they decided what to do with me. And I was pretty sure one of their captains would be one of the Shinsengumi.

Shifting on the ground, I at least wished I could see. The bag over my head was itchy and heavy and my lack of sight was making me a little anxious. But despite that I wasn't really scared about my situation. I was fully aware that I was more than capable of using my oni power to break the ties around my wrist and ankles and sneak away. I'd considered doing so but at the end of the day this was exactly where I wanted to be.

'What kind of a girl sneaks around a war zone?'

It was one of the guards stationed outside my tent. There were two of them and for the last hour all I'd listened to was their conversation. Sometimes they reminisced about times spent elsewhere, sometimes they complained about how hot it was, but for the most part they discussed my presence.

'Yeah. And dressed as a soldier too. How strange.' The other one muttered, keeping his voice low so I didn't hear, and maybe I wouldn't have if I didn't have my oni hearing activated.

The other guard grunted in agreement, scuffing his foot along the dirt. 'Maybe she's a spy. I wouldn't put it past those Satsuma dogs to send a young woman to do their dirty work. They'd send their own mothers to war if they could.' He grumbled.

There was only silence from the other guard as he was deep in thought. I didn't blame them for being so confused. They must have had plenty of questions about what on earth I was doing here and where I'd come from, although I was pretty sure they suspected I'd come from the boat they'd seen in the bay this morning.

I sighed softly, wondering if I should attempt to speak to them. They hadn't gagged me so I was capable of talking but I wasn't sure if it would make matters worse. I didn't want more attention on me than necessary, at least not until the Shinsengumi got here, and so far my captors had left me alone. I just counted my lucky stars that they hadn't beaten or tortured me or something equally as horrendous. If I'd been a man they probably would have killed me on sight.

'I wonder what the captain's ganna say about this. Do you reckon he'll be mad at us for letting someone sneak in?' One of the men suddenly whispered to the other. I didn't have to see him to know he was cringing at the mere thought.

The other man answered after a slight pause, probably mulling over the possibility. 'If he is then I hope he takes out his frustration on _her_ , not us. I don't even know how she got inside to be honest. Either she climbed over the wall or Kaito and Reo are doing a shit job guarding the entrance. Put a pair of big innocent eyes in front of either of them and they become even more hopeless than they are. They probably let her in. None of us have seen a girl in months.' He said, his tone tinged with a smirk.

I winced as both of them chuckled for a bit. I really hoped that this was the end of that conversation. It was bad enough listening to any conversation between men let alone one about me.

After their light laughter had calmed down it was silent again. I took that opportunity to focus on what else I could hear around me. I could hear lots of rattling noises from weapons, the sounds of footsteps and tents opening and closing, and bits and pieces from multiple conversations. There were so many people talking that I could only gather a few sentences at a time but so far there was nothing I considered overly important. If there was one thing I'd learned so far it was that life in a war camp was quite uneventful.

Suddenly one of the guards sighed. 'Can you believe it's finally the end of the war? I honestly thought it would never end.' He said, sounding wistful.

The other guard made a noise of agreement. 'Hmm. The first thing I'm going to do when I get back to the mainland is eat some decent food. If I have to stomach another bowl of war food then I'll die.' He chuckled.

His response earned a chuckle from the other man too.

The guards were mostly quiet from then on. I sat in the tent in peace for who knew how long for, keeping my oni hearing activated in order to detect if there was anyone approaching the tent. I was growing more and more restless the longer I sat here for, fearing that it would be nightfall by the time I'd get out here. I'd either starve to death or die of boredom.

After another half an hour of waiting, my bonds started to really hurt.

I pulled my wrists apart just enough so I could wiggle my hands out. After I'd torn the annoying bag off my head I completely snapped the ties on my ankles, wincing as I saw they'd cut into the leather of my boots. My wrists too were covered with deep red lines where the binds had cut into my skin. It wasn't bleeding but it stung a lot and would definitely leave a bruise, so I used some of the power already in my arms and directed it to my wrists.

I closed my eyes, my oni power fusing with the wound. It prickled as it healed.

Once the prickling had disappeared I opened my eyes to find my skin was back to normal. Although I'd healed a few people in the past I hadn't really done a lot of healing on myself so I was proud that it had worked. In fact, I was so wrapped up in my own wonder that I didn't realise the guards had started talking again before I'd heard the last part of a sentence.

'…we should check on her or something? I mean, it's been almost two hours and she hasn't made a peep.'

I froze. I wasn't sure how they'd react if they saw I'd gotten out of my bonds. Not to mention I no longer had a bag over my head. I was utterly unsure if I should escape or stay here. My mind was blank.

The choice was made for me when the tent door suddenly opened.

I quickly sat back on my calves again, putting my hands behind my back as light flooded into the small space. I'd tucked the scraps of rope under my legs but I hadn't had time to put the bag back on my head. I focused all my concentration on trying to look as harmless as possible, once again thanking my luck that I was a female. They wouldn't be as hard on me.

Or at least I hoped.

Standing in the door of the tent were two men no older than myself. They were both dressed in the Shinsengumi haoris and had katanas tied around their waists. Ultimately they didn't look very threatening at all but when they saw I had no bag over my head their eyes narrowed, hands coming to rest on their katana hilts.

Obviously I didn't look as innocent as I'd intended.

All I could do was try not to look guilty as the first one spoke. 'How… how did you get that off?' He asked, staring down at the bag on the floor.

I blinked, having no idea what to say. I legitimately didn't know if it was better to lie, tell the truth or stay silent. I decided just to settle for the latter.

The guards exchanged a look before they continued to interrogate me. 'Well… I guess now that we're here we have some questions for you.' One of them said, relaxing a little as he let the tent door fall shut.

The room returned to its darkened state and I tried not to tense.

The other guard folded his arms suspiciously, staring down at me. 'Why were you caught sneaking around our camp? Are you working for the Satsuma domain?' He asked outright, brown eyes wary yet not on edge. I was pretty sure they didn't really see me as a threat.

 _Now_ I had the chance to explain myself.

'No, I'm not.' I said clearly, wondering if they'd believe the rest of the truth. 'My name is Yukimura Chizuru and I've come from Kyoto to find Hijikata Toshizo.' I finished.

The guards exchanged another glance, this one more cagey than the last, before one of them asked another question. 'So… you travelled all this way, even across the sea, just for the captain? I find that hard to believe. How do you know him?' He asked, obviously sceptical.

I wasn't making a very good case.

Sighing, I elaborated on my earlier reason. 'I stayed with the Shinsengumi for four and a half years as Hijikata-san's page. I got separated from him and the other Shinsengumi captains. They'd recognise me if they saw me, so please can…'

One of the guards interrupted me immediately and I could tell my story hadn't persuaded them. 'Whoa, hang on there. Females weren't permitted to stay on those grounds and they certainly weren't allowed to work as a captain's page. So what's the _real_ reason you're here? You don't have unlimited opportunities to tell the truth, you know.' He scoffed.

Both men looked at me expectantly. I was beginning to think it would be easier for me just to escape and wait out in the forest.

I sighed again, an earnest expression on my face. 'I _am_ telling the truth. I helped them out in Kyoto.' I said, reflecting on all the times I'd cleaned and cooked, gave information about my adoptive father and ran errands. Really, I'd done a lot actually. I'd been _more_ than just Hijikata's page.

The men still didn't look convinced. In fact, they looked more confused than anything. They appeared not to know where to go from now and it was evident they didn't have lot of experience in interrogating prisoners.

When they said nothing, I spoke again. 'Please. One of the division captains will be able to identify me. Just let me wait here until they arrive.' I said, crossing my fingers that they'd let me do just that. I didn't care if I had to wait in this tent all day as long as I got to see them.

At my request, one of the guards scratched his head. 'Well, I suppose you'll see one of them anyway. Someone needs to decide what to do with you. But in the meantime we need to make sure you stay right here where you are. And part of that means putting the bag back over your head.' He scolded.

I bit my lip as he approached me. I wanted to flee from his grasp as he knelt down and placed the bag back over my head, tightening the cords at the bottom so it couldn't slip off. This time he did it up so tight the cord cut into my throat.

Just as the man let me go I heard loud footsteps approaching the tent. The person they belonged to was walking deliberately and with purpose so I presumed they had something they needed to do. They actually were walking pretty angrily.

The guards went still as they heard the person approach. But before they could move the tent door flew open.

'Did you find out who she was?' Asked a man, his voice deep and agitated. He sounded like he was in his mid-forties.

I immediately tensed, growing weary as I heard the frustration in the man's voice. I had a feeling he wouldn't be as content with me just sitting here as my two guards were. He had a very aggressive aura and as a precaution I drew some power into my arms in case I needed to use it, the heated buzz under my skin calming me down a little. No matter how strong he was there was no way a single human man could overpower me if I used my oni strength. The thought gave me comfort.

One of the men responded instantly. 'Well, kind of, Haruto-san. We're waiting for the captain to get back from the frontline. We just tied her up and chucked her in here in the meantime.' One of them said.

Haruto let out a scoff, displeased by the answer he'd received. 'We might as well find out what she was up to. If the captain gets back he's going to want to know what she's doing here and why she was caught sneaking around. Then it can be his job to dispose of her.' He snapped.

I quivered, wondering if I should escape while I still had the chance. It would only take me a few seconds to tear off the bag, leap to my feet then lift up the back of the tent to escape. I'd probably go back out into the forest and wait for the Shinsengumi's arrival now that I knew they weren't in the camp. It would certainly be better than waiting here, particularly now that there was a very angry man wanting to get some answers from me.

Suddenly the bag was torn from my head and I squinted at the light.

My eyes came to rest on a man I didn't recognise, dressed in the Shinsengumi colours. He had very stern features but I gathered from his clothing that he was just a soldier too. He was just a bit more impatient to know who I was than my two guards.

I stared up at him meekly before looking past him to the outside of the tent. The two guards had moved outside now that Haruto had arrived, probably intending to avoid his wrath. Over their shoulders I could see a few other people who were looking in our direction in curiosity but unfortunately there was no one I recognised.

He tossed the bag onto the dirt, narrowing his eyes at me. 'You have ten seconds to start speaking or you're going to find out the hard way that I give no mercy to a woman.' He growled.

Keeping my eyes fixed on his, I decided to repeat what I'll told my guards. 'My name is Yukimura Chizuru. I stayed with the Shinsengumi in Kyoto and worked for Hijikata Toshizo as his page. I've come to find him.' I said, praying that he would believe me. Many of the men hadn't known I was a woman and so I wasn't confident he'd recognise or believe me.

The man narrowed his eyes at me. 'Only men were permitted to reside at the headquarters and the only page of Hijikata's was a boy. So you better start making sense before things become unpleasant.' He hissed, placing his hand casually on his sword hilt.

I swallowed, wondering what I was going to do now. If the truth wasn't enough then would I have to lie? Or maybe it was better to just escape while I could? I had no idea what to do and my mind was going a million miles an hour. I sensed I didn't have a lot of time left before things became violent.

Staring up at him, I tried not to cower at his stern eyes. 'Hijikata-san and the other captains will be able to confirm my story when they arrive.' I said shortly, silently begging for them to hurry up and get back soon. At the rate this was going I wouldn't be able to wait for them anyway because this man would kill me first.

Haruto grunted, pacing slowly towards my right. 'Huh. You mean to tell me that they managed to hide a _girl_ in the Shinsengumi headquarters?' He asked scornfully, coming to a stop before me again. 'Very well, I'll humour you. For how long did you stay with us?' He asked.

I kept my eyes on him just in case he tried something. 'Four and a half years.' I said.

The man narrowed his eyes at me and I thought he wouldn't respond. I couldn't even tell if he was considering my reasoning or not.

But finally he snorted, folding his arms over his chest. 'I must admit it's a creative excuse. But unfortunately it's not good enough. And since asking nicely hasn't convinced you to tell the truth I'm sure _this_ might.' He said, gripping the hilt of his sword and pulling an inch of blade out.

Oh no. This was it. I was going to have to make a run for it. It was likely I'd have to push him over or knock him out before I tried to escape or he'd swipe me in the back as soon as I turned. Yes, I was an oni and I was stronger than him but I definitely wouldn't be faster. Not until I could use my oni speed properly.

Just as I was about to leap to my feet I heard a loud voice call from the side of the tent.

'What's going on in here?' The voice said, coming from the left of the tent. It sounded like he'd just emerged from another tent at the sound of all the commotion.

I couldn't help but freeze at the sound of his voice although I wasn't sure why.

'I just come back from being on perimeter patrol _all night_ and all I can hear is shouting.' He chastised, his voice moving around the side of the tent. He hadn't appeared yet but his voice belonged to a young man no older than his mid-twenties.

Haruto let go of his blade with a roll of his eyes and it slid back into his hilt. 'You're lucky.' He grumbled at me, sporting an irate expression. 'I'll leave you for the captain when he gets back.'

He gave me one last dirty look before he spun on his heel and stormed out. I watched him leave the tent.

Eventually the person came to stand just outside my field of vision, his voice directed at the two guards outside my tent. 'I'm trying to get some rest here and all I can hear in my ear is talking. What are you both doing anyway just standing around?' He said, his voice firm yet not vindictive. It reminded me of how my adoptive father used to speak when he was scolding me.

But that wasn't the only reason that I felt so nostalgic. His voice...

One of the guards lowered his head. 'We were just interrogating the girl, that's all.' He said humbly, leaving it at that.

There was a slight pause. 'The girl? What girl?' He asked.

Suddenly the man stepped into the doorway of the tent, light blue eyes already narrowed and brows furrowed. He was tall yet lithe with short medium brown hair, his features rather boyish despite him being a few years older than me. What struck me the most was the vivid sense of life in his eyes, their colour resplendent even though it appeared as if he hadn't slept in years.

But no matter how fatigued he appeared there was no way I'd ever forget that face.

He seemed to recognise me too at the same time. I watched in slow motion as his eyes glazed over and the frown on his face morphed into a level of shock I'd seldom seen. The whole world seemed to stop as he was staring at me, lips parted as they came together to form the first syllable of my name.

But he didn't say it. So I said his instead.

'Heisuke-kun.' I said, no louder than a whisper.

The emotion that washed over me was so powerful that I almost lost a hold on my human form. Hot, heavy tears started to build in my eyes until I could no longer see his features clearly anymore. I'd been preparing myself for this moment for months and yet I felt like I hadn't prepared at all. Nothing could have readied me for how I would feel when I met eyes with him again.

The first tears fell from my eyes, burning my skin with their heat. 'Heisuke-kun.' I said louder this time, the rope that had bound me falling to the ground as I shakily raised to my feet.

The guards outside gaped as I stood, speechless at knowing I must have broken the rope myself, but I wasn't sure if Heisuke had even noticed. It was only when I took my first step towards him that he began to stir back to life, blinking once as if he was staring at an apparition.

'Ch… _Chizuru?_ ' He gasped, his eyes trailing from my face to my toes as he examined me. If it was any other man it would have made me nervous but I could see he was just trying to persuade himself that it really was me.

I nodded, the sound of his racing heartbeat filling my ears. 'Yes.' I said, my voice cracking as I came to stand before him, wanting to reach out but afraid that this was somehow a dream. Some part of me was scared this was a fantasy, a reverie that I'd wake up from if I shattered the illusion.

But before I could react he'd already reached for me himself.

He pulled me hard against him, leaning down so I didn't have to stand on my toes. He didn't let me go even as my tears drenched his tunic, resting his chin on top of my head, and it reminded me of how he'd often comforted me like this when I cried. But this time he held me not to comfort me but to persuade himself that I was real, that I was actually there in front of him. The way that he held me communicated that he'd also missed me dearly.

After many minutes I gathered the strength in my hands to wipe my tears away. Heisuke felt me stir and he pulled enough away that he could see my face. There were still remnants of bewilderment lingering in his expression but also confusion and the beginnings of joy too. It must have been a thousand times more shocking for him to see me because he'd had no prior warning to my visit. At least I'd had this long to think about our reunion, although at the moment it didn't feel like it.

I smiled at him after a long thoughtful silence, taking his hands into my own. 'It's been a while.' I said, having to let out a choked laugh at how bittersweet that statement was.

Heisuke smiled too, his eyes crinkling at the corners. I'd missed that. 'Yeah, I mean… it's been, uh.…'

He paused to gather his wits and untie his tongue before attempting his question again. 'What are you _doing_ here, Chizuru?' He asked, keeping a firm clasp on my hands.

I smiled, feeling so happy that I thought I might float off the planet. 'Once we were separated I came to find you. I was told you were in Ezo.' I explained, ignoring the few soldiers who were looking our way with utter confusion. I could see them over Heisuke's shoulder murmuring things to each other.

Heisuke shook his head in disbelief. 'You came all this way…' He sighed, shaking his head again before he continued. 'How did you get here? You didn't travel alone, did you?' He asked, narrowing his eyes at the thought of me trekking through Japan on my own.

I bit my lip. This was the part that he'd find the hardest to understand.

Blushing, I peered up at him again. 'I'll tell you later. It doesn't really matter anyway.' I said, preferring to tell everyone has a group how I'd gotten here instead of having to explain it a million times to separate people. That way I'd only have to deal with one lot of shock instead of several. No doubt they'd have some questions for me.

Heisuke seemed suspicious but he dropped the issue, choosing instead to just look at me. He was silent for a really long time and so was I as I drank in the sight and the feeling of having him next to me again. His presence was so warm and jovial and it really confirmed how much I'd missed him.

I felt like I'd died and gone to heaven.

Suddenly Heisuke placed his hand on my shoulders, his eyes darting all over my face. 'I can't believe it's really you.' He murmured, forehead creasing. 'I thought I wouldn't see you again for at least another few months when we returned to Kyoto. It's been so strange without you around.' He said, voice riddled with disbelief. I was certain he also thought he was dreaming too.

I reached up to take his hands into mine. ' I know it's a bit… unexpected. But I didn't want to let you guys do this alone. I'm only regretful that it took so long to get here.' I said.

Heisuke smiled back, shaking his head gently. 'Don't apologise, Chizuru. I'm just sorry we've spent so much time apart. We've really missed you being with us.' He said.

I beamed with gratitude, my heart singing as I stared into his blue eyes. I wanted to say that I'd missed them back, that the past six months had been the hardest six months of my life, but my tongue was heavy with emotion.

Suddenly Heisuke turned towards the tent door. 'Anyway, let's go somewhere else. We can go talk in my tent instead of standing around being watched.' He said, keeping a hold of my hand.

I was only too eager to follow him.

I kept my eyes trained on the back of his head as he lead me to the left. I couldn't believe I was here. It felt like I was in a dream that I never wanted to wake up from. I was so happy that the tears resurfaced, threatening to overflow, and I didn't bother to push them down. I'd been trying to conceal my emotions for months now and I was too mentally exhausted to do it any longer.

Heisuke led me to the tent he'd emerged from just before, opening up the door for me. 'Come inside, Chizuru.' He said, allowing me to enter.

Wiping my lingering tears away I stepped inside. It was a small tent but Heisuke had done his best to make it as homely as possible. There was a futon rolled out on the ground, a small desk with ink pots and paper and some souvenirs scattered here and there. It was quite dark inside because he hadn't lit any candles but I found the space quite relaxing.

Heisuke sat down on his futon, a light blush on his face. 'Sorry about the mess, Chizuru. And there's not much space either so just sit wherever you like.' He said, making himself comfortable.

After briefly eyeing the room I decided just to sit on the futon with him, letting out a sigh of relief. The emotion coursing through me was indescribable. I'd never felt so at peace before.

When I turned to Heisuke to continue our conversation, I noticed he was looking at me with a growing blush.

I pushed some hair behind my ear, embarrassed even though I didn't know why. 'What?' I asked self-consciously.

Heisuke tore his eyes away from me, scratching the back of his neck. 'Well, it's just that… you look different to when I last saw you in Kyoto.' He mumbled awkwardly.

I was kind of taken aback by his comment. Did I really look that different? It had only been six months since we'd seen each other. He probably meant I looked run down and exhausted. And he'd be right.

I smiled, looking down at my stained tunic and scuffed boots. 'Yeah. It's been a long trip I guess. There aren't many opportunities for rest on the way to Ezo.' I sighed, reflecting on all the nights I'd spent sleeping under a tree in the rain and cold.

Heisuke's blush grew deeper, dusting his tanned cheeks. 'Well, I didn't mean it in _that_ way. I meant, you know... you just look… older, I guess. More mature.' He stammered, his embarrassment making me embarrassed too.

Even through his inarticulation I could see he intended for it to be a compliment. 'Oh, thank you.' I said, momentarily thinking of how Heisuke's observation matched up with that of Kazama. He'd told me many times during the journey that I was maturing, that I was becoming more and more beautiful. Was that what Heisuke meant?

I quickly pushed the thought down as my throat began to close. I couldn't think of Kazama now, not when I was this emotionally fragile.

Sitting up straighter, I gestured to him in return. 'I see though that I'm not the only one who has matured. I can't remember you ever being this tall. And you're tanned too.' I said with humour, eyes resting on the bronze of his skin.

Heisuke self-consciously scratched the back of his head; one of his habits when he felt bashful. 'Yeah, well, it's been pretty hot lately, I suppose, and it's all Harada-san can talk about. You know how much he and Shinpachi-san love the heat. It means they can take their shirts off.' He sighed, leaning back on his arms.

The mention of their names roused a pang of anxiety in my heart. In my excitement at seeing Heisuke I'd forgotten about the others.

I licked my dry lips, trying not to let my nerves creep into my voice. 'So… are the others…?' I trailed off, noticing it was unnecessary to finish the sentence when I saw the understanding in Heisuke's eyes.

He smiled, a warm smile. 'They're just out taking care of loose ends. The war will end today so they will be back soon but unfortunately we will come out as the losing side. We have to flee before they take us as prisoners or kill us all off. We're leaving tomorrow morning.' He said, a strange combination of resentment and relief flashing in his eyes.

I nodded, digesting the news, but something wasn't right still. 'So how's Okita-san then?' I prodded, my heart beginning to beat faster. The last time I'd seen Okita was when he was really sick with tuberculosis. The prognosis hadn't been good then and I presumed it was worse now.

Heisuke's response only solidified my fear. 'Okita-san is… really sick, Chizuru.' He murmured, his lips twisting at the sour words he spoke. 'He's actually here at the moment in the infirmary but he's been isolated. He can't walk or anything anymore. We don't know if he's going to make the journey home.' He said, refusing to meet my gaze.

It was like a dagger pierced my heart. I'd hoped that at least he'd gotten no worse than when I'd last seen him but I'd only told myself that so I didn't have to face the truth. Tuberculosis was incurable. Everyone knew that.

I lowered my head, plucking at the loose threads on my tunic. 'Oh.' I said quietly. There was nothing else I could say.

Heisuke watched me for a few tense moments, watching the sadness and grief tear through my expression. 'I'll take you to visit him later. Maybe the sight of your face will be enough to encourage him to get better.' He chuckled, but it was a dry and humourless chuckle.

I gave a small and lethargic smile in return. 'I hope so.' I said.

There was another small tense pause before Heisuke sighed, sitting up straight again. 'Anyway, for the moment why don't you tell me about your journey? I'm still struggling to process that you actually made it here. I'm surprised you didn't get lost.' He said, sadness making way for mirth.

My smile became a little more genuine at his comment. 'Well, I suppose I was lucky.' I said, becoming aware that I probably wouldn't be able to hide the truth from him for much longer. Even he knew it was pretty far-fetched than I'd managed to come here on my own.

Heisuke beheld me with growing disbelief, truly stunned that I'd gotten here supposedly on my own. 'So you really came here alone? You didn't travel with anyone?' He asked incredulously, both eyebrows raised as he pushed for an answer.

I swallowed, pouting minutely as I considered straight up lying to him. But I couldn't do that. He'd find out eventually.

Sighing, I just got it over and done with. 'Well, I intended to come here alone but it didn't quite end up that way. I had… help.' I said, raising my eyes to meet his stunned ones.

He cocked his head to one side. 'Did Sen or Kimigiku bring you?' He asked innocently, real curiosity in his astute blue eyes.

Eventually I couldn't take it anymore. 'No, it wasn't either of them. It was, uh… it was Amagiri-san, Shiranui-san and, uh, Kazama-san.' I murmured, peering up at him through my lashes to gauge his reaction.

But he had no reaction. He just stared at me blankly like someone had stolen the energy right out of him. At this moment I considered that he was more closer to death than Okita.

I shifted on the futon, anxious at his silence. 'I know it's strange but he was already going to Ezo anyway. I had Shiranui-san and Amagiri-san to make sure I was ok but he didn't try anything reckless or anything. He took good care of me.' I said, blabbering on for a bit as I tried to predict what aspect of the news had stunned him so much. Maybe he was surprised I'd chosen to go with him, maybe he was angry I'd done so, or maybe it was something else entirely.

But it wasn't long until I found out how he really felt.

'What?!' He suddenly burst, scrambling up onto his knees. 'You… you travelled with that bastard? Why did Sen let you go? Why did you even agree to that?' He asked, clenching his fists at his sides. Behind his frustration I could see concern so I knew he was only acting so explosive because he was worried about my safety.

I raised my hands as if to soothe him, gesturing for him to settle down. 'Osen-chan made him promise he wouldn't do anything to harm me and he didn't. He really was quite civil.' I assured him desperately, internally groaning at the knowledge that the others would react worse to this news than Heisuke. I'd likely spend the whole day reassuring them all that Kazama had left me unscathed.

Heisuke regarded me like I was crazy. 'What? Kazama? _Civil_?' He repeated, fingers twitching as if they longed to reach for his katana. 'And why did he even agree to take you? There's no way that oni bastard would do anything out of the goodness of his heart.' He added with derision, shaking his head in dual frustration and abhorrence.

His comment made me flinch. Or rather, his choice of words did.

 _Oni bastard._

He'd spat that word like it was something filthy, disgusting even. I knew he wouldn't have meant to offend me nor would he ever make such a comment about my own status as an oni, but it only affirmed how my species was something that unsettled him.

Heisuke noticed my silence but mistook it for fear at his irritation. 'Sorry, Chizuru.' He said, calming down a little as he hesitantly returned to a sitting position. 'It's just that… I never thought you'd ever travel anywhere willingly with him. And for so long. Are you sure he didn't hurt you? If he threatened you into silence then…'

'No, Heisuke-kun.' I interjected, cutting him off before he could finish. 'I really do promise I'm fine. He took care of me on the journey. I wouldn't be here with you if it weren't for him.' I said, biting my tongue as I found myself about to start rambling on about how he was actually different to what I'd thought he was. I wanted to talk about just how caring, generous and gentle he was in reality, how well we got along now that we knew each other better.

But I couldn't. None of them would ever understand it.

Heisuke's eyes remained filled with apprehension but he eventually nodded. 'Ok, if you say so.' He said, perhaps considering to ask me once again if I was _sure_ I was fine, but he decided against it. 'I'm just… surprised, that's all. How long were you travelling with him for?' He pressed.

I was glad he'd dropped the issue. 'I left with him two weeks after you all disappeared. So it's been a long time.' I said.

Heisuke was trying not to freak out, I could see. Just by the twitch of his eyes and the way his lips were pressed thin I could tell what he was thinking. _I can't believe she travelled with him,_ his expression was screaming _. I can't believe she trusted him._

Trying not to pay attention to my breaking heart, I started a new conversation 'So anyway, why aren't you with the others? I overhead you telling the guards that you were on perimeter patrol.' I asked curiously.

Heisuke seemed glad for the conversation change as well. 'Yeah, I was in charge of making sure no one infiltrated the camp overnight. Plus we spotted a ship coming into shore this morning so I had to investigate that as well. They didn't stay for long so we missed them, but…'

He suddenly trailed off, narrowing his eyes at me. 'Wait… was that you?' He posed.

I smiled guiltily. 'It was. I came straight here and tried to look for you from within the camp walls but I got caught. That's how I ended up a prisoner.' I said, letting out a small chuckle at the very fresh memories of the ordeal.

Heisuke's expression became sombre as I reminded him of how he'd found me. 'Oh yeah, sorry about that, Chizuru. They didn't hurt you, did they? You should have just told them who you were.' He said.

I sighed, giving him a leaded look. 'I did and they didn't believe me. But it doesn't matter now since you've confirmed my story. _You're_ the one who will have to deal with the consequences because now they know you were harbouring a woman for all these years.' I said, inwardly cringing. It was not going to be very pleasant explaining _that_ to the soldiers.

Heisuke winced, making a noise of agreement. 'Yeah… I'll leave that to Hijikata-san.' He mumbled.

 _Hijikata-san…_

Hearing his name sent a wave of nausea and anxiety washing over me. I couldn't quite grasp the concept that in possibly just a few hours I'd see him again, the man that I'd loved for all these years. I'd just accepted that loving him was a part of who I was.

Swallowing tightly, memories flooded my mind of another man, one with red eyes and golden hair, but I pushed them aside.

In the silence Heisuke had taken to looking at me, watching the confliction flicker across my face, but he didn't say anything. There was no way he'd ever know what I was thinking about but I wasn't even sure if he'd noticed my consternation anyway. He seemed kind of dazed, actually.

He still couldn't believe I was here.

When I looked up at him, he blinked a few times before speaking. 'You know, even though you really surprised me today I had a feeling you'd come for us.' Heisuke said all of a sudden, his eyes soft. 'I could just sense that you weren't going to sit in Kyoto and wait for our return. I don't think any of us could repay back what you've given for our sake.' He murmured.

My eyes dropped to stare at my hands in my lap. My emotions were bubbling up again and I feared I couldn't control them, not in the mental state I was in. It was sweeter than I could have imagined to hear Heisuke's faith in me.

I fought unsuccessfully to keep the tears at bay, wiping them from my cheeks as they fell.

Heisuke shifted on the futon uncomfortably upon seeing my distress. 'Uh, don't cry. I didn't mean to make you upset.' He said awkwardly, moving a little closer to sit by my side.

I sniffed, smiling at his naivety. 'I'm not upset, Heisuke-kun. It just makes me happy to hear you say that. I'm just so relieved that I'm finally here.' I reassured him, my voice weak and fragile.

Heisuke seemed disquieted all the same, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. 'I forgot how much you cry. Even when you're happy.' He said with a smile, before he shook me a little bit. 'Say, are you hungry? How about we head to the kitchens and try to snatch some food? If we're lucky then we'll find some tea too.' He suggested, peering down at my face with a boyish grin.

I let out a laugh, wiping my puffy eyes. 'That sounds good.' I said.

Heisuke's grin grew wider and he leapt to his feet, bringing me up with him. 'Cool. Oh, and uh, ignore the stares. You'll be a source of curiosity for a while.' He said, holding back the tent door so I could exit.

I smiled in thanks, already prepared for all the attention.

Once we were outside Heisuke took my hand and began to lead me to the other side of the camp. The camp itself was quite large, hosting dozens of tents that were organised into sections. Each section of tents served a different purpose; some were for sleeping, some for medical aid and some for storage. The meal tents were to the north of the campsite. Coincidentally it was also the most populated section which meant it was probably lunch time.

And by the way I was being looked at, it felt like _I_ was the meal.

Everyone that we passed stopped to look at me. Conversations were silenced, any bickering came to a halt, activities were ceased. A strange hush came over this side of the campsite as Heisuke lead me past the hoards of men towards the back of the kitchen tent. These men really _hadn't_ seen a girl in months and by the looks on their faces this was the last place they'd expected to see one. And not to mention a girl holding hands with one of their division captains.

Cheeks red, I kept my eyes downcast the whole time.

Eventually Heisuke and I came to the back of the kitchen tent. 'Ugh. Animals.' He muttered under his breath, his hardened expression giving away what he was thinking about. He'd never really been fond of men paying me such attention and it seemed nothing had changed. Even when I'd been undercover as a geisha in Shimabara he'd protested it right up until the last moment.

Heisuke lifted up the back of the tent, tugging me under with him.

We were currently in the meal preparation area. There were two massive pots simmering over a pit of coals, one filled with stew and the other with rice. In front of those was a long table spanning almost the entire width of the tent and it was littered with at least a hundred ceramic bowls. A big box on the edge of the table was filled to the brim with chopsticks.

I looked around the room, noticing the bags and bags of rice scattered all throughout the room, but that wasn't the only thing I saw. Standing by the two pots was a very irritated man.

Heisuke was the first one to speak. 'Oh, hey Asahi.' He said, his words drawn out guiltily. He obviously hadn't intended to get caught.

The man called Asahi was tall and solid, dressed in a simple grey yukata and a white apron. He stared between Heisuke and I with both confusion and ire but it seemed he was less concerned about the strange girl in his kitchen and more vexed by the intrusion. I knew by the look in his eyes that this wasn't the first time Heisuke had broken into the kitchen to get his hands on a secret feast.

'Heisuke.' He deadpanned with the exhaustion of a man who had been in this situation too many times. 'I told you if I ever saw you creeping around here again I'd cook you for the next meal.' He warned, picking up his wooden spoon as if in preparation.

Heisuke gulped, but gained his wits fast. 'I know I promised I wouldn't do it again but this is a special occasion. We have a guest from Kyoto.' He said, pulling me closer to his side.

Asahi's eyes shifted to meet mine, narrowing almost to slits. 'I can see that. And what brings her here then, other than to accompany you in being a nuisance?' He asked, inviting either of us to answer.

Heisuke turned his head to face me, smiling boyishly as he squeezed my hand. 'This is Chizuru. She actually stayed with us in Kyoto but… well, that's a story for Hijikata-san to explain.' He said quickly, not wanting to broach that topic with Asahi. 'But I was just coming by to see if we could beat the afternoon rush? I didn't get any dinner last night and who knows when Chizuru last ate. Would you cut us some slack just this once? After today I promise I won't do it again.' He whined, giving Asahi something close to puppy dog eyes.

I was trying hard not to giggle. Heisuke really hadn't changed. He was still the same trouble-making, mischievous samurai I'd known 6 months ago. The familiar spark in his blue eyes filled me with warmth.

Asahi eventually rolled his eyes, too exhausted to argue. 'Fine, just this once. And if I ever catch you here in here again, for whatever reason, you'll find yourself boiling in these very pots.' He muttered, snatching two bowls off the table.

Heisuke stifled his smirk but I saw it dancing in his eyes when he looked at me. I also had to fight to keep myself from smiling.

Asahi filled up both of our bowls with stew and rice before handling them to us.

I accepted with a grateful smile, taking the bowl into my hands. 'Thank you.' I said timidly, trying not to notice the way his eyes narrowed when I spoke. I couldn't tell if he was still confused or still annoyed. Either way I didn't mind because this was better than the way the other men outside had looked at me.

Heisuke took his bowl too, flashing Asahi a cheeky grin. 'Thanks. I owe you one.' He said, reaching past the other man to grab two pairs of chopsticks.

Asahi just grunted, turning his back on us as he began to stir the pots.

When I looked at Heisuke he jerked his head towards the back of the tent. 'Let's go. We'll eat somewhere secluded where the other soldiers won't see us. They'd be livid if they realise we jumped the line.' He said, lifting up the back of the tent.

I nodded, passing through the gap. 'So what time are we leaving tomorrow?' I inquired.

We sat down on a shaded patch of dirt between the high fence and the back of a tent. 'Probably just before dawn. Once the other guys get back everyone will be scrambling about trying to get things packed on time. We gotta get out of here before those Satsuma bastards come and finish the job.' He said, handing me a pair of chopsticks.

I smiled as I took them. 'How are we going to get across the ocean?'

Heisuke smirked at me. 'The same way we got here. The boats we came across in are moored on this side of the island. We kept them well protected so we'd have a way to get off this place. I won't be sad to leave, that's for sure.' He said, shoving food into his mouth.

I ate too, mulling over what I'd been told. They were incredibly lucky that the enemy hadn't found their boats or they would have burned them down. The only way across the sea if that had happened was to swim.

Heisuke continued when I said nothing. 'In a way I'm kind of glad you didn't come here earlier. Honestly it's been a nightmare on this hell hole of an island, nothing to eat every day but rice and nothing to see but the same trees. You never really know what you'll miss until it's taken from you.' He said, already half way through his food.

I ate quickly too, unaware of how hungry I actually was. 'It sounds… horrible.' I murmured, unable to fathom what it must have been like to be trapped here for so long. 'At least it's over now. And when we get to Kyoto everything will go back to normal. I'm just relieved I didn't lose any of you.' I said, reaching over to press my hand to his knee.

Heisuke paused eating to place his hand on top of mine, swallowing what was in his mouth. 'I suppose that's the main thing, isn't it?' He said, flashing me a soft smile. 'And by the way, you're also super lucky. If you had have come tomorrow then you would have missed us. Can you imagine?' He highlighted rhetorically, letting my hand go so I could finish my food.

I shivered at the thought, counting my lucky stars. Even just a day later and the whole journey would have been in vain.

Well, not entirely. It was thanks to this journey that I'd gotten to know Kazama.

Once I was finished, Heisuke gestured for me to give him my dishes. 'Here. I'll take them back to Asahi.' He said.

I nodded and handed them over, watching as he got to his feet. Without another word he lifted up the back of the tent and slipped under, disappearing from my sight.

Once he was gone I wiped my mouth with my sleeve. The food hadn't been too bad but it had been pretty bland. There were no spices left here, no salt or meat, nor anyway to secure them so I hadn't expected the food to be overly delectable. All that mattered though was that it _existed_. I could only imagine how difficult it was trying to get food to this island from the mainland. I was surprised they all hadn't starved.

Now with Heisuke gone I could reflect on our time so far. It didn't even feel real to be honest. I felt like I was in a dream that I'd wake from soon, only to find myself buried in a futon with Kazama beside me in his. For so long I'd pined for the Shinsengumi and I to meet again, running through this scenario more than a thousand times. I had envisaged a more peaceful first few hours in the camp but I supposed I should be thankful I wasn't straight up killed.

And I was grateful too, so grateful, to hear that the others were safe. They'd be returning soon and a small smile touched my lips as I thought about their potential reactions. Heisuke's had been of pure shock but perhaps some of the others would be less surprised. I wasn't sure, and I wouldn't know until the time came.

But there was still something at the back of my mind, reminding me that this was no fairytale.

 _Okita-san is really sick,_ Heisuke had said. _We don't know if he's going to make the journey home._

A lump formed in my throat, my eyes straining to withhold the tears. The truth was I was afraid to see him. If I walked into his tent and saw just how close to death he was then I wouldn't be able take it. If he was as sick as Heisuke was leading on then the travel would be too much for his body. I knew this from working with my adoptive father when he was a doctor in Edo. He'd told me never to move the sick or it would use too much of their energy, the energy they needed to remain alive.

Tipping my head back to keep the tears at bay, I knew I had to do something. And I relished in knowing that I _could_ do something; I could try to heal him. I wasn't sure if it would work because his illness was so far along but there was no harm in trying. If I didn't attempt it then I'd regret it for the rest of my life.

Heisuke suddenly dipped under the tent again, interrupting my thoughts.

He opened his mouth to say something but was hastily cut off by the rising sound of loud voices coming from the front of the food tent, in the direction of all the men that had sat or stood there waiting for lunch to begin. The sound was like a rising chorus of conversation, like one might expect if an esteemed guest had entered a room. It got louder and louder in mere seconds until it made even Heisuke frown.

Perhaps something had happened?

Heisuke flicked his head towards me, gesturing for me to rise off the dirt. 'Something's going on. Let's go check it out.' He said.

I nodded, hauling myself off the ground and brushing the soil off my pants. Together we made our way down the side of the long tent towards the front.

We stayed quiet as we walked, both of us confused but curious at all the drama. I could already see soldiers in the distance streaming from all areas of the camp to meet in front of the food tent. It reminded me of whenever they'd been a fight in the streets in Kyoto and people would flock around the area to watch with amusement or disgust.

Heisuke stopped me from walking too out in the open as we came to the corner of the tent.

There were hundreds of soldiers here now and more arriving. They were so preoccupied with whatever was going on that they paid me no mind, some not even noticing my presence. In fact they were all staring in the opposite direction to where Heisuke and I stood tucked towards the very back of the crowd.

Instead their eyes faced forward to the gates.

Heisuke suddenly seized my hand. 'Chizuru!' He said, nudging me eagerly as I strained to see.

But eventually I found out the cause of the commotion.

Walking through the camp's main gate were seven men. They were all dressed in the blue and white haoris, the haoris of the Shinsengumi, with white bandanas tied across their forehead. Their presence was magnetic, mysterious, drawing everyone's attention to them as they sauntered into the campsite.

My mouth went dry. My heart stopped beating.

Heisuke gripped my hand tighter. 'Chizuru.' He beamed at me, taking a step around the crowd. 'They're back!'

And indeed they were. Saitou Hajime, Sannan Keisuke, Nagakura Shinpachi, Harada Sanosuke, Kondo Isami, Yamazaki Susumu and… and…

Hijikata Toshizo.

They all came through the gates at the same time, eyes on the crowd of men that had gathered to meet them at the gate.

Heisuke was talking to me now. He was babbling on about how surprised they were going to be, how he couldn't wait to see their faces, how he was proud to be the first one I'd reunited with.

But I wasn't listening.

All I could stare at were those _eyes_. Those amethyst eyes, severe yet gentle. The same eyes I'd seen in my dreams, sometimes soft and yielding, sometimes heated and alight with flame, but always belonging to him.

To Hijikata.

I couldn't stop the tears as they flowed. The sight of him hit my like a punch to the gut, knocking the wind from my lungs and forcing my breath to quicken. His hair had grown slightly longer, the dark circles around his eyes more prominent, but still he was so _beautiful_ , as mesmerising as poetry. He stood tall and proud as he came to a stop before his men, one look enough to send them all into silence. He hadn't yet seen me but for some reason I hoped it would remain that way. I wasn't sure I'd be able to withstand his gaze.

Heisuke stopped trying to drag me over to them once everyone had gone silent. It wasn't Hijikata that spoke but Kondou, and my heart soared to know that he was safe too, in addition to Yamazaki and Sannan, who weren't part of the main group but dear to my heart nonetheless. Truly each and every one of them looked exhausted, the same defeated look in their eyes, but the crowd waited for their words nonetheless.

Kondou suddenly took in a deep breath, averting his eyes from his men for a split second. 'Well.' He began, his soft voice causing such a potent wave of nostalgia that more tears flowed from my eyes. 'We all know what's happened. We didn't emerge victorious but at least we emerge with our lives and the chance to see our families again. Now there remains nothing to keep us here anymore so let's begin preparations to return immediately. We leave an hour before dawn tomorrow morning.' He said, pausing as there was a sudden flourish of brief conversation, all murmured and hushed as the official order was given to depart.

Kondou continued once everyone had settled. 'No matter what the result we should be proud we fought so hard. Nothing can be done now but try our best to return to our old lives. Please, return to your duties and enjoy your afternoon meal in the meantime. Afterwards each division will be given different orders to prepare for our departure.' He said, waving his hands non-committally to encourage everyone to resume what they were doing.

They did so hesitantly, the soft murmurs of talking beginning to rise again. People starting moving slowly and uncertainty but nothing was done with any haste. They were in shock, it seemed. It had just truly hit home that they'd lost the war. That they'd fought all these months for little reward.

I swallowed, my vision clouding over and Heisuke turned to face me. 'Oi, Chizuru.' He said, taking my other hand into his.

He watched the tears trickle down my face but he only sighed, flashing his teeth in a smile. 'Come on, let's go. I'm dying to see their faces when they see you. They're about to enter the main tent so we'll surprise them in there!' He twittered, turning around to watch the seven men enter a very large tent beside the gate entrance.

I followed him wordlessly as he then began to lead me. He chatted to me while we walked, keeping his voice low even though there was no way he'd be overheard by anyone inside the tent. The sound of conversation around me was now almost deafening.

My throat was tight, my hands sweaty.

I didn't know if I was ready for this. I was, and yet I wasn't at the same time. I felt so sick that I feared I'd throw up but I didn't dare stop moving my legs or I'd probably stay frozen where I'd stood.

This was it. I was about 20 seconds away from waltzing into a tent of everyone that I'd loved and left six months ago. Behind the nausea was so much excitement, so much happiness, but before I really got to enjoy it I had to get past my nerves first. I had to get rid of the butterflies in my stomach, the butterflies that originated from one man and one man alone.

We approached the door of the tent, Heisuke wiggling his eyebrows at me. 'Ok, you stay here while I go inside. I just want to talk to them briefly. I'll get you in a few seconds.' He whispered, pointing to the ground where he wanted me to stand. It was out of view from the tent door.

I nodded, mindlessly doing as he asked even though I wanted to get it over and done with.

Heisuke winked at me before entering the tent, securely shutting the tent door behind him.

Even through my daze I managed to activate my oni hearing. I probably could have heard their conversation without it but I didn't want to miss out on anything.

The first thing I heard was the sound of my own heartbeat. It was so loud and fast that it stunned me, making me jump in fear, which only made it beat faster. After that I heard hundreds of other heartbeats from all the soldiers around me including the seven, now eight, men in the tent. Kazama had taught me how to focus on certain sounds to cancel out less important ones, so I closed my eyes and searched for any auditory signs from the men inside.

Eventually the other heartbeats faded, along with the other unnecessary sounds around me, just in time to catch the first of Heisuke's words.

'So.' He began, a spark of humour in his voice.

He didn't even get another word in before he was cut off by someone else. 'This is no time for amusement, Heisuke, so if you're going to say something stupid then we'd all prefer not to hear it.' A man said. I recognised it immediately as Sannan.

Heisuke let out a deflated huff but he remained unabashed. 'I was just about to say, _Sannan-san_ , that I found something earlier in the campsite that may be of interest. I think it may cheer you all up. However, if you want to see it then I request that you all close your eyes.' He said, trying not to sound too eager or they'd get suspicious.

I knew exactly how all those men worked too. If they suspected Heisuke was up to something then they wouldn't comply.

Someone else sighed. 'Sannan is right, Heisuke. This is not the right time for jokes, or pranks, or whatever you have up your sleeve. Perhaps later we may indulge your request but as for the moment it's best if you put your enthusiasm towards our current predicament. We have 16 hours to pack up our belongings and move almost 200 soldiers across the ocean and back to the mainland. We…'

'I knooow, Kondou-san.' He interjected, like a child interrupting his parents. 'But I really, _really_ think you all should see this. I promise it's not a prank. Just trust me.' Heisuke said, equal parts excited and pleading.

There was silence. I already knew what was going on, too. They were all exchanging glances with one another, silently discussing if they could in fact trust Heisuke, the prankster of the group. Saito would be staring at Hijikata, Shinpachi and Nagakura would be rolling their eyes at each other, and the others would be shifting glances between Kondou and Heisuke.

Eventually there was another sigh, this one heavier than the last. 'Very well. Show us whatever you've found. Just know that you do so at your own risk if it's… _disappointing_.' Kondou muttered.

Heisuke's satisfaction radiated from inside the tent. 'It won't be disappointing, I assure you, but I still need you to close your eyes.' He said, my ears detecting the sound of a footstep as he moved closer to the tent door.

There was a small pause of apprehension, in addition to some frustrated sighs, before Kondou gave in once again. 'Very well.' He mumbled.

I swallowed, taking another step away from the tent door as I anticipated Heisuke to come out any moment. I was feeling so many emotions that I didn't know how to separate them anymore. I'd never been so excited, nervous and scared in my whole life.

One second, two seconds…

And then the tent door opened.

His turquoise eyes were so bright they were almost glowing, burning with mischief and the thrill of what was to come. If I hadn't have been so nervous then I would have laughed at that look in his eyes, just like I'd laughed every other time he'd had that expression. It was indeed the look he sported when he was about to play a prank. It was _Heisuke's_ look.

I let him reach out and take my hand, drawing me into the tent.

The door shut behind me and I came face to face with the men I'd yearned to see again. They were all standing in a semi-circle with their eyes closed, most of them with irritated expressions. Seeing them this close was enough to make me bite back a sob, having to raise my spare hand to cover my mouth as I threatened to give away the surprise prematurely.

They were all here, tired and exhausted, stains of dirt and blood on their clothes. But they were _here_. They were _alive_.

Shinpachi and Nagakura appeared to be trying not to smirk as if they expected it to indeed be a prank, but Saitou and Sannan's faces were serene. Kondou just looked fearful, and Yamazaki appeared to not know how to feel.

And in the middle of the group standing next to Kondou was Hijikata, his face twisted into his typical scowl.

The sight of him brought fresh tears to my eyes again. How foolish I'd been to think that when the time came, when he was standing in front of me, that I'd be strong enough not to break down in a mess. I'd wondered countless times in recent weeks if I actually still loved him, especially when Kazama had been by my side, but it was irrefutable now. It was undeniable.

He would always, _always_ have a piece of my heart.

In that moment Heisuke gave the command. 'Open your eyes!' He hollered.

And they did. One by one they all opened their eyes, finding Heisuke's face first and then moving to mine. Their expressions remained blank and unseeing for a few seconds as they processed what was going on, but it didn't take long for that to change. I'd never in my whole life seen any men go as white as they went as they looked upon my face like I was a ghost or a hallucination.

Heisuke started laughing, swinging an arm around my shoulder and pulling me to his side. 'What do you think? I bet you'll never doubt me again!' He grinned, fully aware that none of the men had even heard him through their bewilderment. Even Saitou's eyes were as wide as dinner plates and it was no small feat to render him that stunned.

Eventually I couldn't keep my tears at bay, too overwhelmed to fight it anymore.

I burst into tears, right there in the middle of the tent.

Heisuke's grin faded a little but not entirely, understanding that I was only crying because I was happy. I was _so_ happy. I was more than happy, actually, I was ecstatic and filled with blissful relief at the knowledge all these months of stress and travel had paid off. Although the war had been lost there was nothing more suited to soothing that pain than this reunion, the reunion I'd craved for so long.

Finally we were all in the same room together, just how it was always meant to be.

Before I knew it I was suddenly swept up into the air, lifted off my feet by a pair of strong arms.

I squealed, my tears pausing in surprise as Nagakura scooped me up into his arms, the first one to recover from my presence. He held me so tightly that the air left my lungs, carrying me bridal style with a blinding smile on his face.

'What took you so long, Chizuru? I was beginning to think you'd bailed on us.' He boomed sarcastically with a laugh, jostling me in his arms.

I laughed through my tears too, wiping them away so I could see him through the blurriness. 'I'm a slow walker.' I joked, knowing that he'd never once actually thought I'd bailed on them.

My answer made him laugh harder and he released me from his grip, letting me go when my feet touched the ground. 'Well, you can't help it, I suppose. But what a surprise this is indeed! Heisuke, you little mongrel.' He said, reaching out to grab the unsuspecting boy.

He called out in protest as Nagakura put him in a headlock, ruffling his hair so hard that the static made it stand up straight.

I had only just started laughing at the sight when drawn into a tight, warm hug.

Harada wrapped his arms around my shoulders, a chuckle rumbling in his chest. 'Just couldn't stay away from me, could you, Chizuru? I'm flattered.' He teased, and when I looked up at his eyes I could see they were shining.

He was just as I remembered him, cheeky and tall, and he winked as he noticed me studying him.

I let out a soft laugh, blushing despite myself, but before I could speak Nagakura interrupted. 'Don't tease her, you prick. She hasn't even been here for half a minute! Give the lady a break.' He urged, but his words were filled with humour.

They really _hadn't_ changed. Even after all the no doubt horrible things they'd endured during the war they'd never lost their sparks of humour of their affinity for insulting and teasing each other. It was such a relief to learn that they'd remained the same, even if I myself had changed a little.

Suddenly there was a soft squeak. 'Chizuru?' The voice said.

It was Yamazaki, who had only just registered I was actually really here.

Harada let me go so Yamazaki had room to embrace me, a much shorter and less intimate one than those from Nagakura and Harada, but no less genuine. He was so surprised that even when we broke apart he only stared at me without saying a word.

My blush grew deeper, lowering my eyes. 'It's good to see you again, Yamazaki-san.' I said.

He shut his half-gaping mouth, nodding earnestly. 'It's good to see you too, Chizuru.' He replied.

When he pulled away my eyes met with Sannan and Saitou, who had moved closer but remained wide-eyed.

It was Sannan who approached me first, adjusting his glasses as if he thought they weren't working properly. 'Words can't describe how relieved I am to see you. It's been many months.' He sighed, placing both hands on my shoulders.

His smile was warm and soft, his shoulders becoming less tense as touched me.

I nodded in agreement. ' _Too_ many months. I'm relieved to see you too, Sannan-san.' I said as he dropped his hands back down to his side, giving me a smile of acknowledgement.

Over his shoulder was Saitou, frozen as he stared at me. I'd always had a soft spot for the quiet yet capable samurai, gentler than the others yet no less powerful. Judging by the look in his eyes I wasn't sure if he really believed I was here standing across from him.

I was just about to say his name when Nagakura clicked his tongue. 'Come on, don't be shy. You haven't seen her in half a year!' He said cheerily, giving him a hard pat on the back.

Saitou flinched, but it was enough to wake him from whatever had kept him motionless.

I didn't wait for him to come to me, however. I'd missed him too much to wait a second longer.

Saitou went rigid as I wrapped my arms around his torso, drawing him as close to me as possible. I pressed my cheek against his chest and smiled against the fabric of his haori, noticing how his body was beginning to soften. Soon he'd wrapped his arms around me too, holding me against him tightly.

We broke apart after a while and he gave me one of his rare smiles, one that reached his eyes. 'It's nice to see you, Chizuru.' He said, bending forward in a small polite bow.

I blushed at the formality. 'It's good to see you too, Saitou-san. I'm pleased to see you're ok.' I said, taking his hand into mine.

Saitou got no time to respond as Kondou appeared in my field of vision.

He shook his head in disbelief as he beheld me, standing next to Saitou. 'Out of all the things that could have happened today, this is the most unexpected. Don't tell me you really walked the whole way?' He grilled, beaming as he gave a firm pat on the shoulder.

I winced at its strength but offered him a bright smile in return. 'Not quite, Kondou-san.' I said, keeping it vague deliberately. I wanted to put off telling them about Kazama for as long as possible even if it would only be for another 10 minutes.

Kondou kept his hand on my shoulder while he continued. 'Well, regardless of how you got here it's an impressive feat, particularly on your own. And here Toshi used to tell me that you always got lost even when on errands. Obviously he was just exaggerating.' He chuckled.

At the mention of Hijikata my eyes shifted to meet his.

He was already looking at me, just as motionless and blank as Saitou had been. He didn't approach me even when Kondou mentioned his name but his eyes flamed with heat. Their violet depths were scorching and yet I couldn't tear my eyes away, couldn't even speak, not even as the sudden silence started to become awkward. Everyone was watching us, wondering who would speak first, and wondering why it was taking so long in the first place.

Unable to stand it any longer, it was I who broke the silence. 'Hijikata-san.' Was all I said. It was all I could say, and the taste of his name on my tongue made me swallow. I felt too hot and too cold at the same time, my skin clammy and my stomach coiling with anxiety.

He blinked then, taking his first few steps towards me. 'Chizuru.' He said in return, and I thought he may say something else but he didn't.

The sound of my name from his lips after so long reminded me exactly how much of a hold this man had over me. I had no doubt that I'd do anything for him, no matter what it was, as long as it pleased him. All the yearning, the affection, the emotion that I'd bottled up for the past six months was bubbling up to the surface so fast I couldn't stop it, not when I was faced with him like this.

In the back of my mind there was a voice that whispered to me, reminding me that I still loved him.

In that moment it was like he read my mind. He came forward, slowly at first yet with purpose, until he was close enough to put his hands on my shoulders. I could only stand there mutely with hot, heavy unshed tears in my eyes as he drew me against him, wrapping his arms around me.

My eyes flickered closed, my lips parting. His heart beat so loud against my ear and filled my brain, magnified by my oni hearing. I could hear the rush of blood in and out of the chambers of his heart, the whoosh of air entering and exiting his lungs, and the sound of him swallowing as I returned the embrace.

My arms slid around his torso, my hands pressed firmly against his back.

 _This_ was what it felt like to be home.

* * *

 **Ending note**

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	55. Like father, like daughter

**Hey guys, sorry for the long wait! Here is the next chapter you've all been yearning for!**

 **I know some of you guys have asked me questions but I get SOO many reviews that I can't keep track of them. I'll answer the main ones that I remember:**

 **1\. Will there be a sequel?**

Yes, there will be probably 2 sequels with the possibility for an extra one depending on how much plot I can create lol

 **2\. Will you write a few chapters from Kazama's perspective?**

Yes, I will write 3 chapters from his perspective. I'll let you all pick the chapters you most want and I will write them once NLS is finished. They will be tagged onto the end of this story, probably

 **I can't remember any other main ones so feel free to ask them and I'll try and keep a record of them. In fact, ask as many questions as you want because at the end of this story I'm going to post a FAQ chapter. I will not answer any questions related to the future plots, though, because I don't want to spoil anything.**

 **Also good news! There is ONE more chapter to go before the epilogue. That means there are TWO chapters in total left for the story.**

 **EEK!**

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* * *

 **Like father, like daughter**

'So, let me get this straight.' Shinpachi drawled, leaning back against his arms.

We were all still in the main tent, sitting on some assorted rugs and blankets that Heisuke had been forced to find. I'd been in their company all afternoon and it was now nearing twilight but soon everyone would be heading over to the meal tent for dinner. I was bound to incite some interesting reactions from the other soldiers who still had no idea who I was.

I smiled, my cheeks already aching from grinning so much, but I let him continue.

'You, Chizuru Yukimura, broke into our campsite despite the multitude of guards, and barely five minutes later you got yourself kidnapped? And Heisuke found you later in the storage tent?' He asked, narrowing his eyes at me as if he couldn't believe it.

I laughed, nodding my head with a hint of shame. Now that I'd had time to reflect on it I did feel a little injured that I'd been spotted so easily.

Shinpachi appeared amazed at the feat. 'Well, that wouldn't have been the warm welcome you were expecting when you arrived.' He chuckled.

There was a round of amused reactions from the men around me.

So far it didn't feel real. Even after so long in their company I still felt the need to pinch myself to prove this wasn't all a dream. Here they all were, laughing and joking, fighting with one another and arguing just like they had when we'd been in Kyoto. I'd lost count of all the tears of happiness I'd shed from joy during the past afternoon.

And Hijikata was here too, his eyes burning into me from where he sat.

He'd been silent up until now. As of yet he hadn't asked me any questions nor had he had much of a reaction to anything I'd said. For the past afternoon all he'd done was watch me with those violet eyes, swirling with a myriad of emotions I couldn't pick up on. But I could just see in those depths, in his expression, that he was analysing me. He'd always been able to read me, just like Kazama had. The intensity with which he regarded me was both agony and bliss.

Heisuke sat up straighter, a slight scowl on his face. 'Yes, she was in the storage tent, tied up like an animal. It's a good thing that I got there when I did because she was being interrogated by Haruto-san.' He said, eyeballing Shinpachi in ire as if he knew my situation could have ended very differently than it had.

Shinpachi just gave a lavish roll of his eyes. 'Haruto is all bark and no bite. He wouldn't have lain a hand on her, not without Kondou-san's consent. And besides, don't pretend like you didn't enjoy being Chizuru's knight in shining armour.' He said, wiggling his eyebrows at the poor young man beside me.

I pressed my hand to my mouth to hide my smile, fighting the urge to laugh as Heisuke went red. It was nice not to be the only one who was prone to blushing.

Heisuke didn't have time to retort before Kondou cut in. 'Ok, ok. That's enough of that. How about you both stop quarrelling and let Chizuru tell us a bit more about her journey? All we've been listening to so far is you fighting over which one of you she is more glad to see.' He deadpanned, idly stirring the cup of tea in front of him.

Heisuke and Shinpachi settled into silence, although both sporting satisfied smirks.

Kondou turned to me then, warmth in his eyes. 'Anyway, you said it took you six months in total? That's quite a lengthy trip. Normally it should only take half that, maybe less.' He said, scratching his chin in confusion.

I nodded, holding a cup of warm tea in my hands. 'Normally it would, yes, but because of the war we had to take the back roads most of the way. We only entered towns when we were low on supplies.' I said.

As soon as I finished I noticed my mistake; I'd said 'we'. I hadn't yet told them about travelling with Kazama because frankly it hadn't come up in conversation and no one had straight up asked if I'd travelled alone. I think they assumed I had.

Miraculously, none of them seemed to notice my strange use of words; apart from Heisuke, who was glaring me down. He'd been doing so for the whole afternoon, waiting for me to tell them the truth, but he didn't bring it up himself even though I could see it was slowly killing him inside.

I swallowed, continuing before anyone else noticed my odd wording. 'Uh… but it was mostly a non-eventful trip. I got here relatively easily even if it did take a while despite the roads I took. There was the occasional issue but nothing too drastic.' I said, wincing at the close call.

Kondou nodded thoughtfully, mulling me over with intrigue. 'I see. Well, I think I can safely say we are all relieved you made it here. How honoured are we to have such a faithful friend in our midst.' He said, reaching across to pat my hand amiably.

I smiled at his gesture, letting out a soft embarrassed laugh at his praise. 'Thanks, Kondou-san. And I suppose that's it. There's not really much else to tell.' I wrapped up, placing my tea cup back down on the rug.

That was definitely the truth. Even with the others it had been mostly just travel, eat, sleep and repeat. It occurred to me then just how bored and miserable the journey would have been without company. It would have been six months of pure hell.

Suddenly Shinpachi, who was seated directly in front of me, nudged my knee with his foot. 'Did you get any cool souvenirs along the way? Anything from the outside world to show us?' He urged, retracting his leg.

I frowned in thought, mentally combing through the contents of my bag, but I couldn't think of anything. 'Nope. I only have some herbs and spices from the mainland along with a bit of food. I didn't really stop to buy much stuff.' I said, perhaps a little regretfully. Kazama hadn't approved of me buying things without reason although he'd definitely loosened up about that rule towards the end of the journey.

Harada made a face of disappointment. 'What? You trekked through Japan for six months and yet you didn't collect any souvenirs?' He asked with incredulity, joining in with Shinpachi's expression of bewilderment.

I rolled my eyes, patting my bag which was seated beside my hip. 'As you can see I didn't have a lot of room to buy too many things, Harada-san. I couldn't afford to weigh myself down with trinkets.' I bit back with humour, smiling widely as they began to smile too.

Shinpachi chuckled, elbowing Harada in the ribs. 'Six months apart and yet she's still the same old Chizuru. Ain't afraid of putting you in your place.' He jeered, continuing to jab at the man beside him with his elbow.

Harada laughed, but his mischievous eyes remained on me. 'She may _act_ like the same Chizuru but she certainly doesn't look the same. We'll be fighting off potential suitors left, right and centre when we get back to Kyoto. Won't we, Chizuru?' He teased with a sly wink, relishing in the embarrassment that overcame my face.

I went red as he continued to wink at me, as if he was waiting for me to get some unspoken joke, but I'd already understood what he was implying. It was the exact same thing that Heisuke had told me earlier. Apparently I'd matured in the last six months and enough for everyone to notice.

Just before I could respond, Heisuke made an annoyed sound. 'Ugh, cut it out, you animals.' He bristled, a stern pout on his youthful face.

I wanted to smile at his defensiveness of me, but Harada wasn't done yet. 'Oh, don't act all high and mighty, Heisuke- _kun_.' He said, putting extra emphasis on his honorific. 'I bet that you'll be one of the suitors we'll be fighting off when we get back, aye. We all know you can't resist a pair of big eyes, especially when they belong to our precious Chizuru-chan.' He said, beginning to laugh when Heisuke grew so red he might have caught fire.

I was red too, but I had enough sense to speak up. 'Alright… that's enough.' I mumbled, too embarrassed to say anything more, but I couldn't bring myself to be angry. After all, this was what I'd missed most about their presence. Their ability to laugh and have fun, even at each other's expenses was so entertaining, unfortunately even when it was at _my_ expense.

I'd missed this so much.

Fortunately, Sannan seemed to agree with my statement. 'Yes, that's quite enough. I'm sure this is the last thing Chizuru feels like listening to at the moment. It's a shame you don't put as much effort into your jobs as you do into being a nuisance.' He sighed, pushing his glasses further up his nose.

Harada and Shinpachi's only reactions were a smug smirk, but they were silent after that.

Before anyone else could take the spotlight, I spoke up. 'Anyway, that's enough about me and my journey.' I said, fighting the lingering blush on my cheeks. 'I want to know how everything went here. What exactly happened today when you went to the enemy camp? I've heard you negotiated a surrender.' I said.

The room grew a little more sullen once I'd mentioned it. I could tell it still cut them deep although my arrival had managed to distract them from the majority of the loss, although they would definitely feel it later. They'd essentially fought all this time only to lose at the end.

Kondou cleared his throat, his face withdrawn. 'Well, yes, you're correct. Toshi and I managed to negotiate a surrender. It was, uh, surprisingly easier than we envisaged.' He sighed, rubbing his temples like he had a headache.

I frowned, observing everyone's sombre faces. 'So… how did you manage to persuade them to let you go? After all, they didn't have to allow you to surrender if they knew they had the upper hand anyway. Why not just try and finish you off?' I asked with a wince, disliking the feel of that sentence on my tongue.

All of a sudden there was an air of tension in the room. Kondou averted his eyes again, Saitou shifted in his place, Harada and Shinpachi cringed a little. It was like the reason to my question was something shameful, something that no one wanted to breach.

But eventually I was given an answer. And it was Hijikata that gave it to me.

He drew in a breath, his eyes never leaving me. 'We had someone on the enemy's side to persuade their commander to grant us surrender.' He mumbled with _extreme_ distaste, his voice leaving goosebumps on my skin, but his words made me frown in confusion.

I found it hard to meet his eyes when I replied. 'Uh… so… who was it, then?' I asked, cocking my head to one side.

Again another wave of resentment washed over the men, but it wasn't Hijikata who answered me. It was Shinpachi.

'You wouldn't even believe it if we told you.' He sighed, raising an eyebrow at me. 'Just think of the last guy on the whole planet who you would expect to show up on this forsaken island, and that would be him. He just waltzed right into the room with no warning and talked the commander out of killing us in cold blood. And why would that be, you ask? Because he knew that the shame of defeat would be worse than the pain of death. That bastard…' He trailed off, shaking his head.

Everyone else went slack, hot anger and helplessness staining their features, but I grew tense.

No… could it have been…

I swallowed the lump in my throat, speaking the words aloud even though I didn't mean to.

'Kazama-san.' I said, no louder than a whisper.

Hijikata's eyes raised to meet mine and for a split second I saw something in them, perhaps accusatory, like he knew something he shouldn't. But it was gone as quickly as it appeared, leaving me wondering if I was just imagining things. Having Hijikata in the same room as me was making me paranoid, guilty, even though I knew I shouldn't be.

My heart pounded in my chest as we looked at each other. I couldn't tear my eyes away even though I was getting dizzy.

After a while Shinpachi clicked his tongue, staring menacingly at the ground. 'You're lucky you didn't come across him when you arrived this morning. No doubt he's been prowling the island since whenever the actual hell he arrived, waiting for the right moment to show up unannounced. He probably planned out this humiliation since he figured we'd lose the war.' He muttered.

I lowered my eyes, unable to decide if that was true or not. Kazama had always known the Shinsengumi would lose the war but could he have predicted that the government would be too bloodthirsty to grant a surrender? Had he known he'd have to step in to prevent the Shinsengumi from being killed? If it was true then I doubted it was done out of the goodness of his heart. It almost certainly would have been to humiliate them.

Unless…

Unless he'd done it for me.

I shook my head to clear that thought, my heart beginning to ache. I'd tried so hard not to think of him today, about his confession, about our kiss. Every time he crossed my mind I was filled with both infatuation and unease, the latter because I knew it would be a long time until I would see him again.

Was he still here? Was he over in the enemy camp, just a few kilometres away?

I wished I could see him at least once more.

Kondou's lips were drawn into a tight line. 'Yes, well, it's all behind us now. Hopefully now that the war is over we won't see him again. He's fulfilled whatever debt he owed, I believe.' He murmured.

As soon as the words left Kondou's mouth everyone's eyes turned to me. I already knew what they were thinking. The war may have been over but there was just one thing left he'd stay here for. One thing left that they feared he'd try and take now that he was truly free.

Me.

Next it was Saitou's turn to talk, one of the only times he'd done so thus far. 'Don't worry, Chizuru.' He said solemnly, detecting what he thought was panic on my face. 'If he tries again to take you away we will protect you. Moving back to Kyoto won't change that.' He reassured me.

I offered a grateful smile but it was more so a grimace. I kind of felt guilty, actually. Here they were fretting about the prospect that he'd try to harm me again when in reality I was the _least_ worried about him out of them all. Kazama posed no risk to me, and he never really had.

I swallowed hard. 'Thanks, Saitou-san.' I said.

It was after Saitou inclined in his head in acknowledgement that I noticed Hijikata again. He was staring at me once more, calmly yet with something barely contained underneath the surface. It made my palms sweat and my cheeks grow hot. I was more paranoid than ever that he knew something he shouldn't, and for a second I feared that Kazama had decided to tell him about our journey out of spite. It would have driven Hijikata insane to learn anything about me through Kazama's lips. He was the only man who could rival Kazama in terms of protectiveness.

After some tense silence had passed, Shinpachi's long arm reached over to grab my bag. 'Anyway, I don't want to talk about that jerk anymore. You mentioned earlier that you had some food in here, hmm? Interesting.' He purred, flipping over the satchel and beginning to rummage around.

I only sighed, smiling as I watched him filter through my belongings in search of a meal. 'There's not much. I only had enough space to bring some fruit and…'

'Dried meat!' Harada cawed as he peered over Shinpachi's shoulder to watch him pull out some desiccated beef.

He went to snatch it out of his hands but Shinpachi grabbed his wrist. 'Hey, I saw it first. I haven't eaten a scrap of meat in a month. Go find your own.' He said, getting ready to tear off the thin paper it was wrapped it.

Before he could, Heisuke reached out and snatched it right out of his fingers. 'Oi, you both already eat enough food as it is. Thanks to you guys there's normally only enough rice left for me to have half a bowl.' He complained, guarding the precious dried meat against his chest.

And here it was again. Fighting over food, just like old times.

When the squabbling between Heisuke, Shinpachi and Harada reached a crescendo, Yamazaki raised his hands. 'Hey! Are you forgetting that it's Chizuru's food? Maybe she should decide what to do with it.' He attempted to say sternly, but his voice was lost in the sea of complaints and whining.

I was already laughing, both hands over my mouth as they fought tooth and nail over a few strips of beef. I couldn't believe how things hadn't changed. It gave me hope that when we all went back to Kyoto then everything would go back to normal there too.

Eventually even I recognised the men were getting too loud. 'Ok, ok.' I intervened, raising my hands as if to calm them. 'We can all split the beef evenly. There's enough for everyone to have some. Ok?' I said, always the mediator.

Heisuke sat back down, defeated, and the other two cringed at the mention of sharing. But the surrendered the food to me with relative ease.

I took it when Shinpachi handed it to me, albeit unwillingly. 'Always the mother hen.' He said, but there was a tweak of amusement upon his lips.

I smiled too as I tore the beef into enough pieces for everyone to have a bit, except for myself, but I left one spare piece wrapped up in the paper. I handed out the other pieces to everyone in the room, including the older men.

'Thank you, Chizuru.' Kondou said, true delight in his eyes as he took it from my fingers.

Saitou thanked me too, as did Sannan and Yamazaki, along with the others.

I hesitated for only a second before giving the next piece to Hijikata. 'Here you go, Hijikata-san.' I said, his name like honey on my tongue.

His eyes lingered on mine for a while before he took it, but he didn't thank me straight away. 'Who's the last piece for?' He commented, the only one who had noticed me wrap up the last piece of beef instead of distributing it. If the others saw they might have presumed I'd saved it for myself, but Hijikata knew me better than that.

He knew me better than any of them.

I nodded, lowering my eyes. 'It's for… uh, Okita-san. When he gets better.' I murmured.

At the mention of Okita's name even Shinpachi and Harada stopped chewing. There was a terser and more defeated silence than the one caused by the discussion of their defeat and surrender. This was a silence heavy with grief, with true hopelessness. I was still yet to see Okita but the reaction of the men around me communicated just how bad it was. Heisuke had warned me that he might not make the journey home.

I sat back down on my calves once everyone had been fed, my hands resting in my lap. 'How… how is he?' I asked, a dangerous question.

Heisuke turned away from me, staring down at his lap. He'd answered this question when I'd asked earlier but I needed someone else to confirm it. I was holding onto the hope that one of them would give me reassurance, would tell me that he was doing better than what I thought, but that was just a fool's hope.

The question fell to Saitou, who was probably the only one strong enough to say the blunt truth. 'Unfortunately he hasn't got any better since the last time you saw him. I advise that you prepare yourself if you wish to see him, Chizuru, because the situation is very dire. He's unlikely to survive the next week or two, especially on the road.' He said quietly.

There was another moment of silence as the words settled in everyone's hearts and minds.

My eyes began to burn, threatening to overflow. The only thing that kept me from breaking down entirely was the hope that he could be cured. That _I_ could cure him. Even just sitting here I could feel the power swirling underneath my skin, hot and powerful and bright, the same power that my father had yielded when he'd been alive.

Could I really heal the same things he could? Could I heal diseases, illnesses, and paralysis? I'd never learned what the extent of my father's power was, so what exactly was the limit to mine? Could I even restore sight to the blind and hearing to the deaf?

Something told me that if I could raise the dead then I could do anything.

I looked up again, renewed in my confidence, but I met the eyes of a tentful of men that had no hope. How cruel it must have been to watch their friend deteriorate for so many months, knowing that they could do nothing to save him. How cruel would it have been to know that not even Okita's status as a rasetsu could save his life.

And how cruel would I be too if I continued to hide from them what I could do for him.

It took a whole minute for me to summon the courage to speak, knowing that I would have to explain everything in order for them to understand what I could do for Okita. I supposed it was only a matter of time anyway before they figured out the truth, about me and Kazama and what exactly I'd done on the journey. And they were my friends anyway. There was no reason for me to hide this anymore.

I weakly cleared my throat. 'I think… I think I may be able to help him.' I said, my voice more fragile than I'd heard it in months.

Everyone looked up at me, but I didn't need to ask to know they were sceptical. They didn't believe me. Not yet.

Kondou shifted, and I finally noticed the bags under his eyes. 'Chizuru, I don't want you to get your hopes up. Your knowledge of medicine is very good but Okita is too sick to be cured. No doctor we have come across had been able to give him a remedy. I'm sorry.' He said softly, giving me a weak but comforting smile.

I urgently dismissed his apology with a shake of my head. 'No, there's something… something else.' I sighed, my eyes flicking to Heisuke, who was on the edge of his seat waiting for the confession he'd been silently begging me to give all this time.

I turned away from him, forcing myself to meet their eyes, but I was cut off by someone.

'You travelled with him, didn't you?' Was all Hijikata said.

My lips remained parted in preparation for speech as I looked to him, the words stolen from my mouth. I would have normally spluttered in shock that he'd managed to guess it so easily, without me having to say anything, but deep down I'd already known he was aware of it. And perhaps Kazama _hadn't_ told him. He was intelligent enough to put two and two together on his own.

I slumped my shoulders, watching the confused faces of the other men. 'How did you know?' I asked quietly.

Hijikata's face became tense. 'How could I not know? It could not have been a coincidence that you both appeared on Ezo on the same day. There was only one ship spotted at dawn this morning. You travelling in his company would also explain how you got here so easily.' He said.

If I had have been less shocked I would have corrected him about the journey being 'easy' but I was at a loss for words.

I sank further into a hunch, keeping my eyes downcast.

All of a sudden Shinpachi frowned. 'Wait… what? You travelled with Kazama?' He grilled, daring me to refute it.

As soon as Shinpachi said it aloud the others all seemed to understand at once. Every single one of them squirmed in discomfort at the news, too surprised to say anything at this point in time.

All except for Heisuke.

He let out a loud sigh. 'I _know_ , right? I told her that it was a crazy decision! Anything could have happened…'

I cut him off before he went on another rant. 'I was _fine_. He didn't hurt me, and Shiranui-san and Amagiri-san were there too. I could never have made it on my own anyway.' I said, doing my best to soothe them _before_ the news really sunk in and the tent was filled with the sound of howls of protest. Even Saitou had gone pale.

Kondou was the first to speak after he'd regained his wits. 'You and Kazama travelled together? Are you sure he didn't do anything to you?' He asked, eyes wide.

I resisted the urge to sigh as I shook my head. 'He did nothing to me. Really. As you can see I'm here in one piece.' I said, gesturing half-heartedly to my body as if to illustrate I was fine. No bruises, no cuts, no scratches.

I understood fully why they were so panicked. There once was a time where I too was freaked out at the idea of having anything to do with Kazama. But I wasn't like that anymore and I never would be, so I found it strange how I'd moved on and yet they still held this negative preconception of him. It would likely never fade.

Kondou nodded thoughtfully, far more inclined to believe me than Heisuke when I'd first told him. 'Ok… ok. That's some, uh, interesting news.' He said, scratching the back of his head. 'But this brings us back to your original point. About Souji.' He said, encouraging me to continue.

I nodded, wondering if this would be easier or harder for them to grasp. 'There's so much to say but I think… I think it would be better just to show you.' I said, licking my dry lips. 'Can I see him? Okita-san?'

At my request Kondou's wide eyes relaxed a bit, before he gave a small nod.

I couldn't bear to look at the others. In reality it would have taken me all evening and night to explain everything from the beginning to the end, about how Kazama had taught me how to use my powers, about the first time and all subsequent times I'd used my clan power. Right now all that mattered was Okita. Although I was confident it remained a possibility that I would, in fact, fail.

'Whoa, hang on a minute.' Heisuke said then, interrupting the silence. 'What do you mean you'll show us? What are you going to do? And what does it have to do with Kazama?' He asked, facing me with his whole body.

Everyone else seemed pretty eager for me to answer those questions too.

I raised to my feet, leaving my bag on the floor. 'Kazama-san helped me to understand some things about myself. You'll see soon. I promise I'll explain everything afterwards, Heisuke-kun.' I pacified, praying that they'd just trust me for now.

Thankfully everyone got to their feet too, most of them eyeing me suspiciously, but when Hijikata motioned towards the tent door they all made their way outside.

I passed under Hijikata's arm as he opened the tent door open for me. 'Thanks, Hijikata-san.' I said meekly, fighting off a blush. I couldn't work out how he was feeling but then again I rarely could. He was just like Kazama in that regard; always so hard to read.

I tried to ignore the feeling of his eyes staring at my back as I stepped into the evening air.

It was pretty busy even though it was approaching night. The stars were beginning to twinkle in the dark blue sky, the horizon tinged with the lingering yellows and pinks of dusk. It would only be half an hour more and there would be no light left, yet the campsite was bustling with men carrying out an assortment of tasks. Some were packing up equipment, some were washing their horses, and some were staring at us as we left the tent.

Everyone was preparing for the early departure tomorrow.

Heisuke nudged my arm softly. 'Come on, Chizuru.' He said gently, looking to the men in front of us who had already started walking.

I followed everyone to the south of the campsite. The tents were more frequent in this area so I presumed it was the sleeping section. The area was set out in a grid pattern which meant all the tents were accessible and clumped together neatly. Most of their doors were shut probably to ward off the cold and any insects that were seeking shelter from the biting night air.

We continued past this area to the very back, where there was a few larger tents among the smaller ones.

Heisuke nudged me again, his voice low. 'This is the infirmary area. Everyone in these tents is either sick or injured.' He said, motioning to a section of about 40 tents.

I nodded, but he hadn't needed to tell me. I could already hear the soft lamenting of injured soldiers and smell the metallic scent of blood. I couldn't help the sting of guilt in my heart at knowing I could probably cure each and every one of them from their injuries or illnesses. Some of these men might yet die from their wounds depending on their severity.

I could hear Kazama's voice in my head as I teetered on the edge of right and wrong.

 _If you heal them, you doom us._

I'd began to understand that concept more and more. I couldn't heal anyone without them finding out what I was. It was such a horrible moral decision to make, so I chose not to make it now. I wasn't here to heal them anyway.

I was here to heal one person and one person alone.

Eventually we came to a medium sized tent. There was a man standing outside of it as if he was on guard and I could see the soft glow of candlelight filtering out from the tent. There was no sound coming from inside, no hint of movement or life. Nothing at all.

A lump formed in my throat. I knew who this tent belonged to without being told.

The guard bowed as we approached, addressing the men as we came to a stop before him. 'Good evening, captains.' He said, his voice quiet.

Kondou inclined his head. 'Good evening, Harue. We've come to pay a visit to Souji. How is he faring?' He asked, face gaunt as if he was preparing for the worst. It was likely that every time they came to visit him they feared they'd be told he hadn't made it.

Harue's eyes roamed over us all until they met mine. 'Uh… uh, he's…' He trailed off in surprise, before composing himself. 'Uh, he's the same as yesterday. He seems to be slipping in and out of consciousness.' He finished.

Kondou nodded. 'I see. Well, we wish to see him all the same. Go fetch yourself a meal and some water in the meantime.' He said, patting on the shoulder with a warm smile.

Harue bowed again. 'Thank you, Kondou-sama.' He said, before he scurried off with one last glance in my direction.

Once he was gone, I wiped my sweaty hands on my pants. I was so nervous I could barely think straight. I tried to picture the worst state I could imagine he'd be in before I entered, hoping that it would mean I would be somewhat prepared for seeing him so sick. I was going to pass out if I didn't get this over and done with quickly.

And it was because of that reason that I was the first one to enter the tent.

Pushing aside the heavy tent door, I peered inside. It was at least four times bigger than Heisuke's tent and much taller, tall enough that even Hijikata could walk around without scraping his head on the ceiling. There was a table covered in an assortment of medicines and liquids pressed against the right wall. Next to the table was a heating box, filled with hot coals to keep the tent warm, and underneath the table were a few satchels containing Okita's belongings.

And against the back wall was a bed. It was a Western style bed which was raised, keeping it off the dirt, and made of wood with a thin mattress. On it was an assortment of blankets, so many blankets, as if the owner of the bed could no longer rely on their own body to keep them warm.

And laying in those blankets, his head cradled on a soft pillow, was Okita.

I raised a shaky hand to press against my mouth, stifling the sob that wanted to tear from my throat.

I could see his cheek bones perfectly, the shape of his skull under his paper-thin skin. His prominent collar bones stood out like peaks before disappearing underneath his blankets, hiding the rest of his body which was most likely even worse. There was barely a scrap of meat left on his bones from all the weeks he'd gone without enough food, from all the months he'd been unable to use his muscles. His body had wasted away to basically nothing and I knew in that moment that the only reason he was alive was because he was a rastesu. In fact, he was in his rasetsu form as he lay there, white hair and fangs visible through his dry, cracked lips. It was as if he could no longer be in his human form anymore lest it give in to death.

I couldn't grasp how the once lively, cheeky man I'd lived in Kyoto with for the past four years could be reduced to what he was now.

Eventually I couldn't take it anymore. I started crying, shuffling weakly over to the side of his bed as tears streamed down my face.

'Okita-san.' I sobbed, falling shakily to my knees beside his head.

His skin was so pale, so thin that I could see his veins underneath. His eyes were closed and there was fresh blood around his mouth and on the blanket, mingling with old blood stains.

The other men just watched me. Silent, unmoving. None of them dared come closer than the tent door.

Oblivious to everything else around me, I fished out one of Okita's hands from under the blanket. 'Okita-san.' I sobbed again, as if trying to call him back to the world of the living, because he looked already dead. The only sign of life was the heavy, thick wheeze that came from his throat which told me he was breathing.

There was, of course, no reaction from Okita. He was very much unconscious.

I clasped his thin fingers, holding them to my wildly beating heart, hoping that the warmth of my body would coax him into waking. Despite all the blankets he was so cold, his joints stiff with lack of use and lack of warmth. The realisation threw me into even more despair, a despair so profound that I even forgot what I'd come here to do in the first place.

This wasn't Okita anymore. I refused to believe it. I refused to believe that this man, this embodiment of death itself, was a man I once knew.

After crying my eyes out for a good ten minutes, I heard footsteps to my side. 'Hey, it's ok.' Shinpachi said, kneeling down beside me to put an arm around my shoulders.

I held Okita's hand harder as I leant into Shinpachi's side, my eyes too blurry with tears to see clearly anymore. All I could make out was the frame of a skeleton laying in a bed in front of me, the only sound being Okita's painful breaths, each more difficult to take than the last.

Shinpachi continued to soothe me, placing his chin on the top of my head. 'It's ok, Chizuru. It's ok. It's going to be alright.' He cooed, but there was an emptiness in his voice that told me he didn't believe it.

I found no comfort in his words or gestures for once. I barely registered that he had his arms around me. There was no room for anything in my head other than my grief and sorrow, because even if I could heal his tuberculosis he would probably still die. It would take weeks for his body to patch itself together again from this state, providing it still could.

Eventually I was joined by Heisuke too. He said nothing as he knelt to my other side, at the head of Okita's bed. He'd gone completely pale even though he must have seen Okita a thousand times in this state. The only thing that would be worse than what I was going through now would have been what the others had gone through; watching him get worse over several months without being able to do anything about it.

After I'd cried out all the tears in my body, I sat up a bit straighter. 'Does… does he ever wake up?' I spluttered, my voice thick and hoarse with mourning.

Heisuke swallowed, his eyes glassy. 'Sometimes. Normally only when we bring in blood. He can no longer stomach normal food.' He murmured.

I stared back down at Okita, sniffling. 'Can he talk?'

'A bit.' Heisuke answered hoarsely, reaching down to pull the blankets up over his exposed collarbones. 'I don't think he really knows what's going on though. Sometimes he doesn't make a lot of sense.'

My sadness grew even more potent. People tended to get delirious when they were close to death.

Letting out a soft breath, I wiped all the tears off my face. 'I don't know if I can heal him in this condition. But I'll try.' I croaked, my movements causing Shinpachi to pull his arm off my shoulders.

He stared at me with confusion but said nothing. Neither did Heisuke.

I took in a deep breath, knowing what I needed to do and knowing I needed to do it quickly. I needed to assume my oni form and figure out a way to get my blood down his throat. Heisuke had mentioned he normally woke up at the scent of blood so I was praying that would be the case now.

I bit my lip, eyes puffy as I looked to the men to my side. 'Please… shut the tent door properly. Make sure no one can see inside.' I said weakly.

Saitou, who was the closest to the door, only stared at me for a second before he did as I requested. No one was bothering to ask any questions anymore. No one had the energy for speech now, not even in their confusion and curiosity.

Once the door was shut I stood up and walked over to the table. I needed something to pour my blood into once I had spilled it. I didn't want to waste any of it and I didn't want to risk holding a wound against Okita's mouth in case he woke up and bit me.

Finding a glass of water, I ignored the stoic stares of my friends as I tipped it directly onto the ground. I used my tunic to dry the inside of the cup, making sure no water was left inside in case it tainted the purity of my blood. I couldn't take any chances with healing him. I needed to do this correctly the first time because I'd probably be too weak to try again for a while.

I settled once again on the ground beside his head. I'd often thought about what reaction I'd get if I showed everyone my oni form, my _complete_ oni form, since they'd seen me with just white hair and gold eyes in the past. This time would be different though. I'd be an oni in every way.

Drawing in a shaky breath, I swallowed. 'Please… please don't be scared.' I murmured, too afraid to look at them.

And then I closed my eyes.

It was much harder than I thought it would be to summon my oni form in this situation. Not only was I wrenched with emotion from seeing Okita but I was terrified that there were a bunch of people watching me, people who hadn't seen me in my oni form and who only had bad experiences with onis.

But after less than half a minute I'd secured a tendril of energy, hauling it out of the depths and to the surface of my skin, forcing it to bind to my flesh like it had done so many times in the past.

A soft sigh escaped my lips as heat, comforting and reassuring heat, flooded my veins. It brought strength with it that fortified my every muscle and limb, soothing aching in my body from my journey, calming the pounding throb in my head. My hearing improved, my eyes burned beneath their lids, my sense of smell grew keener. There were a series of soft pricks in my gums and fingertips as my fangs and claws formed, followed by a prickling in my ears as they became pointed.

And when I opened my eyes, the radiant glow of the energy just under my skin, only visible to me, filled the room.

I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding, clawed fingers coyly pushing a lock of platinum hair behind my ear. In the candlelight of the tent I could see the pink undertone of the strands much better than usual, so faint that human eyes probably wouldn't be able to pick up on it. My skin and my hair glittered like diamonds even in the dull light of the tent.

No one said anything. My oni hearing wasn't even picking up on anyone breathing. Even Okita's breaths were shorter now, as if he subconsciously sensed the transformation. I was scared to look at them but I couldn't fight it forever.

I angled my eyes to peer up at their faces, so used to seeing Kazama's face filled with delight after I'd transformed, that their expressions took me by surprise.

They looked… terrified.

Their eyes were wide, their faces pale. They stared at me like they didn't know who I was anymore.

When I'd first transformed all those months ago I'd been so shocked that I hadn't immediately considered myself as beautiful. It had taken a while for me to accept my new appearance but now I saw myself as more exquisite than I ever did as a human. Kazama had always reinforced that with the way he looked at me, with unbridled admiration in his eyes.

But now… I questioned if was beautiful at all.

Self-conscious, I turned my head away to hide my face. 'This forms makes it easier for me to use my abilities.' I explained, but I felt like my voice was falling on deaf ears. They had no reaction to my speech, no signs of acknowledgement.

And for the first time since my very first transformation I couldn't wait to get out of this form.

Trying to ignore how upset their reaction made me, I stared down at Okita. He was so much sicker than Kazama had been when he got shot. With my oni sight I could see the dryness of his skin, the way it creased just like tissue paper. I feared that even touching him would cause a bruise or a wound.

Focusing again, I drew all my available energy into my blood. I fuelled the power with my grief and worry, causing it to flare just like oil to a fire.

The feeling was addictive. When I concentrated on the surge of power boiling in my blood I could sense just how powerful I was. I was stronger than I'd been at the start of the journey. I had more raw power in my veins thanks to Kazama's training and my own personal development. When I was in this form and when I was stirring my power like this it was like I could do anything. Maybe that was my favourite part of being an oni.

When I began to cringe at the heat beneath my skin, I sunk my teeth into my hand.

Blood spurted from the wound into my mouth, so hot that I tore my lips away before my flesh welted. The golden light emanating from my blood shone like the sun and almost blinded me instantly. I subconsciously hoped no one outside saw the glow through the tent fabric as I steadily poured the flow into the cup.

It was then that I remarked a shift to my side.

When I looked to see what had made the movement I met the eyes of some very shocked men. But underneath their surprise, their awe, and even their sheer terror, there was something else I could sense within some of them. Something that I'd sensed from the rasetsu that had bit me all those weeks ago.

 _Hunger_.

In my desperation to heal Okita I'd failed to remember that some of them were rasetsus too. Their blood lust was almost insatiable, probably even more than usual after being trapped on this island, so it must have been nigh on unbearable for them to be in the same room as me. I knew it must have been even worse than usual providing the blood I'd spilled wasn't just normal blood. It was oni blood, brimming with energy and power, and even I could smell the sweetness that radiated from it.

I liked to think they would never hurt me no matter how good my blood smelled, but I needed to hurry up just in case.

Once the cup was filled up, I hastily healed my own wound with some fragments of my energy. I was almost too weak to hold the cup but my adrenaline spurred me on, encouraging me to keep going.

Propping Okita up, I shoved a bunch of pillows behind his back so he stayed somewhat upright.

'Okita-san.' I said, surprising myself by how faded my voice sounded.

I'd expelled more energy than I'd thought. The edges of my vision were getting blurry.

I brought the cup up to his face, trying to encourage him to wake up by tempting him with the scent. 'Okita-san, wake up.' I said, squeezing his shoulder only gently in case I broke a bone.

But he didn't wake up, not even to the scent of my blood.

I could hear him breathing and his heart beating beneath his bony chest, but apart from his necessary body functions it seemed that he was no longer there. He only had enough energy to keep himself alive. There was nothing left to sustain him in waking up, not even for food.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, shoving down the fear that he might die here in my arms, and I brought the cup to his lips. I'd force feed him if I had too.

At this point Hijikata, Heisuke and Sannan had moved right to the back wall of the tent. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see the struggle on their faces, the grimaces of pain that flashed across their features. Even the other human men had noticed why those three had distanced themselves. Harada and Shinpachi had one eye on me and the other on the rastesu men and I already knew they were preparing themselves to protect me if necessary. But I didn't want it to get to that point.

I tipped Okita's head back, letting the first few drops of blood enter his mouth.

I tried my best not to spill any as it slid down his throat. His gag reflex ensured that he didn't breathe any in but apart from that there was no reaction. As the seconds turned to a minute I began to fear the worst, begging the universe for this to work, for me to succeed.

Suddenly, Okita's tongue shifted in his mouth.

I knelt straighter, my hands tightening on the cup. 'Okita-san?' I gasped, hoping it wasn't just a twitch.

Even the three rastesu men withdrew slightly out of their bloodlust, present enough to grow tense when a soft groan slipped from Okita's mouth.

I pleaded with myself not to cry just in case the tears blinded me, but I continued to pour the rest of the blood down his throat.

'Wake up, Okita-san. It's me. I'm here.' I said, my voice trembling as I finally pulled the cup away from his mouth.

Without a second thought I used a fragment of power to crush the ceramic cup in my palm. I couldn't let any trace of my blood remain and I didn't trust simply washing the cup out with water, not when my blood still burned gold.

With swiftness verging on oni speed, I threw the fragments of the crushed cup into the heating box for it all to burn.

I didn't wait to watch it catch fire, so I didn't see the gold sparks that flew out from the flames when my blood touched the coals. I only had eyes for Okita who seemed to becoming more awake by the second.

I pushed a lock of sweat-soaked hair away from his forehead, about to croon something else to him when I was interrupted.

'What… what did you do?' Asked a quiet voice from behind me.

It was Yamazaki. He looked confused, amazed and horrified at the sight that he'd just witnessed. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the gold smears of my blood that remained around Okita's lips. I could hear his heart thundering behind his ribs.

I swallowed, turning back to Okita to monitor his growing responsiveness. 'My clan has the power of healing. Kazama-san taught me how to harness it. I'm still not an expert but…' I trailed off, cleaning the blood from around Okita's mouth. '…I hope it's enough to keep him alive.'

No one said anything to that, not even Yamazaki who'd requested the answer in the first place.

I swallowed, finding their silence almost unbearable. 'I know it must be… strange to see this. But I promise I'll explain it all to you soon. Just trust me for now.' I mumbled, not bothering to look in their direction. They probably weren't even listening to me.

Suddenly a deep, violent breath raked through Okita's body.

I just about screamed in surprise when he twisted in his blanket, the abrupt action rousing gasps of surprise and perhaps fear in the men standing to my side. Everyone watched with disbelief as Okita drew in a deeper breath this time, horribly breathless and rasping .

And then he began to cough.

Each cough raked through his whole body from his head to his toes. They were so violent, each one throaty and hoarse, telling me that his airways were cloaked with mucus and blood.

I forgot all about my crushing exhaustion as he expelled the first lot of mucus onto the floor, twisting on his side just in time to vomit it up on the tent ground. If I hadn't have been the adopted daughter of a doctor then the sight would have had me heaving as well but I knew with each cough he got rid of whatever was preventing him from breathing properly.

'Okita-san!' I virtually shrieked, finally shaken from my silence.

I clapped his back firmly a few times to encourage him to keep coughing, to expel everything that had festered in his lungs and throat. He did so with more and more ease although tears streamed from his still-closed eyes, the only sign to show me that he was in a lot of pain. He couldn't even groan or scream through his coughing. He could barely even get a decent breath and I could hear him fighting for each gasp of oxygen.

I gave him a few more hits on the back, although not too hard, aware that he was beginning to shake. 'It's ok, Okita-san. You're alright now.' I said, my voice breaking with emotion.

I'd been so focused on Okita's tears that I hadn't noticed my own.

I saw Kondou take a step closer from the corner of the tent, the first of the men to recover from their bewilderment. 'S…Souji!' He called, taking a few more steps in his direction.

I wiped my tears away as he knelt down to side, on the other side of Okita's vomit. 'Souji, you're ok, you're ok.' He said, echoing my own words as he patted his back.

Okita seemed to be getting a hold of himself now. His coughing was growing less frequent and he'd began to groan occasionally, expressing the pain that must have been burning in his lungs. He still hadn't opened his eyes but the tears kept coming, even as he shakily settled on his side as the last of the mucus had been coughed out on the ground.

But even as the other men started to make their way over, I didn't touch Okita again.

I stared at him, wondering why something deep inside of me was stirring as his mind began to return to reality. Through my oni vision I examined his body, watching his skin grow less translucent, less fragile, as if my blood was moving through his whole body and healing him inch by inch. Normally I would have counted my lucky stars that my blood had worked so well but…

Before I could work out why I was so uneasy, Heisuke threw himself down on the other side of Okita's bed. 'Hey, lay down now. Just rest. You're ok now.' He said, his voice breaking as he encouraged Okita to settle back down again.

Okita groaned, rolling back against the blankets, his lips coming together to say something but he couldn't speak yet.

Hijikata had come over now, pushing past the last of his lingering bloodlust to join Heisuke at Okita's bedside. The other men had now done the same, making sure to keep clear of the patch of blood and mucus beside me.

Okita let out a soft, almost peaceful breath as his body finally seemed to calm down.

From across the bed, Hijikata's eyes met mine. For a moment I couldn't believe the emotion I saw in them, the sheer relief as he realised that whatever I'd done had actually worked. I'd saved Okita's life. With each passing second he grew less and less pale, the dryness of his skin and hair returning to it's usual suppleness.

I wiped the fresh tears from my face, pulling my eyes away from Hijikata to look down at Okita again.

I was about to faint. I could feel the haziness tugging at my mind, the exhaustion coupled with the overwhelming amount of emotions. I guessed I only had a few minutes left before I passed out and I was determined to spend it making sure Okita was _really_ ok. He still sounded like he was trying to catch his breath.

But when I looked down at him again, I was the one who couldn't breathe.

From under his skin began to radiate the most beautiful white glow. It started off soft at first but grew brighter, mingling with the glow that my own skin was emitting until it was almost just as bright. None of the other men could see it through their human vision, nor could they sense a building, coiling energy igniting within him, but to me it was as clear as day.

I realised then that someone was talking to me.

'…can't believe it worked! Chizuru, how did you do it? He's breathing properly!' Heisuke stammered, tears brimming in his eyes as he reached across Okita's body to clasp my hand.

I smiled dazedly, absentmindedly squeezing his hand as he did to mine, but I couldn't concentrate anymore. My mind was whirling with the glow I could see coming from Okita.

And I was really close to passing out now.

When I swayed a little, Kondou quickly clasped my shoulders. 'Chizuru?' He asked, shifting everyone's attention from Okita to me. 'Are you ok?'

I wasn't, but I nodded anyway. 'I'm fine. I always get a little weak when I use my powers. I'll probably need to rest soon.' I murmured.

Kondou nodded, keeping his hand on me as he saw the light flickering on and off in my eyes, and his own remained concerned.

But just before he could say anything more, Okita stirred in his bed.

In the last seconds of my consciousness I gazed down at him, everyone silent as he let out a soft groan. Everyone held their breath as they waited for him to speak, to open his eyes, to regain full consciousness.

And he did.

As he finally opened his eyes, I realised what I'd been noticing for all this time. The white light under his skin, the same white light I had, and the energy I sensed within him. It all made sense now. So much sense that it knocked the wind from me, making my skin flash hot and cold at the same time.

 _What had I done?_

The last thing I saw before my world went dark were Okita's eyes open, his irises groggy and confused, yet clearer than ever.

Burning, lively, beautiful…

And gold

* * *

 **End notes**

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